Take the car, pack enough clothes and essentials to get you thru, put the kids in the car and go to the nearest women’s shelter or family member. File for divorce and a protective order. The rest will fall in place !
The women’s shelter will provide you and your children with shelter, meals and the school bus will pick them up from there and then during the day they help you, provided you have to put in a effort as well but how to brush up on job skills and help you with a resume and once you’re hired at a job, everything will start going up and up for you to get stable on your own and for your children. They have clothes and career wear donated as well to help the ladies who need more dressier clothing for their job.
You have to make the first move and you have to want it for you and your children in order for any of it to work. Don’t feel alone because you’re not and they’ll help work the process. Best of luck to you.
As a child that had witnessed abuse in the home while growing up I say please please PLEASE do your best to get out safely. I know that’s a hard thing to do with all the unknowns of how to support the family but we need you present, able and alive to support them. If you have family or a good couple of friends you trust that could help. Even a neighbor. Some suggested the legal route with police which is helpful as well. For the sake of the children in the home who are witnessing and experiencing the abuse themselves please get out safely. You CAN AND WILL SURVIVE. We all here want to see you thrive and those children to thrive as well. Please keep us posted 
Get out before he kills you and probably your children too. When he completely snaps there is no turning back. Go to a shelter immediately and get a restraining order. Statistics prove that kids who grow up in an abusive home become abusers or seek out an abusive spouse. Your children deserve better. Good luck. Prayers for strength to do the right thing.
LEAVE!!!
Place it all in Gods hands. He will always be there, you just need to take the FIRST step.
Prayers 
I went through the same thing and the best advise I can give you is leave now before it is too late don’t put your kids through that no more because they will hate you for it.
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You will leave wen u really get tired of it. Until then there’s nothing we can say or do to mk u leave. I just pray that it’ll b sooner than later, for your kids sake
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Honey there are women shelters everywhere… all you have to do is call and they will help you and your children…
Semi abusive? No such thing. Leave and don’t look back!
RUN. I stayed for way too long. I prepared many times and something got in the way for years. Just do it. You and the children will be better off. I had 3 also. They were so much happier when we were safe (physically, mentally and spiritually). My kids are young adults now. They are strong, independent and have so much respect for me and how hard I worked to do what is best for us. We do survive and flourish. Remember…you are not alone. You have a higher power at work in your life… I cleaned houses,worked in restaurants, babysat became involved in our community and got so much support because I was honest and reached out for help. You can too💗
Please leave him and get your family some counseling. Today…leave today!
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I’m shocked at the amount of comments here that are rude. I am sure it wasn’t this bad when she first married him. It never is. That’s how abusers get you. Judgement isn’t helpful either. It is terrifying to leave a situation like that. I offer you so much love. Please whoever this is, feel free to message me.
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Leave. I promise you it will only get worse each time. They have many shelters for this reason. You can try to get assistance from the state as well to get into a income based apartment 
or reach out to a church. I work with an organization that collects items people don’t need like beds , dressers ect, I’ve seen many donate on like rummage sale sites clothing ect. It might be hard at first to leave the security you have of material things but it will only get worse . Like a bandaid rip that shit off and get on your way to healing
PFA!! And find a shelter if no family to go to. Get out before it’s too late or the kids become anymore damaged🙏 please
I’ve been through this find somewhere with someone you know that will have you back when he comes find you and if you can find somewhere he doesn’t know and then pack up and leave when you know he’s gonna be gone for a few hours and when you leave turn off your phones so he can’t track you down and if you need a work from home job look into Conservice. I currently work there from home and they provide you the equipment you need to do your job
It will never change , get out even if you have to go on a single parent pension and give up work until you get yourself and the kids established . There are many organisations that can help get you and your kids get out and help you get established. In some areas church groups have safe houses and its not just used for church goers .
I don’t think she asked for your opinions, but advice on how to make and execute a plan. However, many of you have never been in her shoes and it shows. I am happy for you, but you are in no position to give advice.
Men will often try to isolate you from family and friends if they even think you’ll leave too. You need to keep in touch with anyone close and let them know what’s going on. Make a plan to get out of there no matter what. If you only work 3 days a week you can find another job somewhere else. Your top priority is to get out of there asap. Pack up the essentials when he isn’t around and leave when you’re ready. Everything else will fall into place in time. Even if you can’t crash at a friend or families house there are places for women and children that you can reach out to. Do some research online and find an option that you’re comfortable with and take that plunge.
You need to leave. If not for yourself, which obviously you are worth more than being abused by a partner that should care for and protect you but you should protect your kids from what they are witnessing and learning. Do you want your son to be abusive and your daughter to end up in a abusive relationship? This goes so deep on all levels. Don’t accept it because you are a daughter of Jesus and deserve better.
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There is no semi abuse. Abuse is abuse, don’t underplay your situation and get out
Forget material things , your mental health and the kids matters most right now.
Leave him, first few months will be difficult but you and your kids will be happy and also try to job hunt for a better job while you try to get a place to stay with family members or friends.
And please talk to someone who’s very close to you and ask for help.
I’m worried One day he will do something worse and kill you and the kids will suffer the most.
If you can’t leave him for your own peace and sanity… please do it for the kids.
Sending prayers, love and light to you.
I was on the same situation except it wasn’t my sons father. I ended up leaving him and had to completely start over. But I did. The biggest thing is he knows you can’t leave him, show him you CAN. it’s not easy. Ots a long hard road when you completely restart your life, but it is worth it.
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Good for you. Kit. I admire you for speaking up. 
Run don’t walk away from him !!!
Sorry to hear it, realizing that there is a problem is the first step start by going to the county and apply for emergency assistance, and they will help you get started
Secondly you need to go get a restraining order or order of protection if he is abusive towards you and your children for sure until things calm down
Contact your family and friends to see if you can stay there and start applying for places to live, if you go to the county and you have kids you might be able to get bumped up with emergency assistance and get put in a place right away
Good luck and god bless you and your children!!
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Get out now it don’t get any better
You are reaching out in this forum, so obviously you feel it is not a good situation for you or your children to be in. I have been where you are, and it took me some time to leave, I stayed until my children were in their teens, abuse of any kind can have life long effects on you and the children. It is time for you to make a plan. It will not be easy but you will find life can be wonderful free from abuse! I wish you and your children love and happiness!!
Run with your kids , get your son help asap
I lived it for ten years I finally got up the courage to leave and he kept coming after me I have to put over 2500 miles between us just so the kids and I would be safe I’m so happy I did it and look back wondering what took me so long and the kids were so great full please for yourself and your children leave AWARE is very helpful god bless I’m praying for you and your children 
Find someone you trust to stay with (possibly family), while you get back on your feet… you will feel so free once you leave!
you deserve to feel safe you will get by if you leave and you need to leave to save yourself and your children not just your son but your daughters too. Good luck to you I hope you stay safe
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There is help if you ask…I promise. I left it to late and it only ended due to a house fire. Get away ASAP! Life is very short. It’s for living not ‘choosing your bad’. Good luck!
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The domestic abuse hotline I believe offers ways out
Ummmm no such thing as semi abusive get yourself and your kids out if there immediately
Speak to your doctor, mine were brilliant told me who to contact etc. I now have my own place and am really happy 
Call your local women’s refuge or police will tell you where you can go . Get out now . I’m a survivor of a 12 year abusive relationship, didn’t think I could ever leave . You won’t believe how happy you are when you go . It’s like chains breaking . Do it before you end up seriously hurt xxx
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There is no such thing as semi abusive, abuse is abuse. You need to leave, even if it’s staying with friends or family worry about all the rest later just get out before you end up dead.
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I’ve been threw that kind of abuse I left and never went back and to this day I’m so glad I did
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You need help Financially. I get it. I will really be praying for you because I understand. It’s hard 
I had same situation with 3 children…for about 6 yrs. I had enough and I didn’t want my kids to learn physical abuse (that’s what dads do) or a female/mother (is a worthless punching bag or demeaned).
This was in 1990…and I didn’t have anything.
You have all the power …stop giving it to him and stop making excuses for his behavior. That is how he has power.
Is there family you can live with for a short time? You need to talk to a lawyer. I’m assuming he works so you will get child support and possibly alimony.
YOU aren’t hiding anymore asking for help/advice.
Now make it count. I believe you can do it!!!
In my first. marriage I was punched for 5 years, verbally abused. The day I decided to leave was when my husband picked up our son by his arms, shook him and then threw him on the bed. He was 1 year old, my husband had never hurt one of our kids before. I felt stuck, lost our house, car and everything except our clothes. I had to live with my parents for 8 years. That was a mistake but, I had no other choice. After 4 years I got a job in a hospital cleaning. My daughter and son put up with my mother using a switch on them, almost daily, I never knew about that until years later. 10 years later I married again, I got a gun and machete in my face to many times to count. My kids and I were verbally and physically abused. I finally left that marriage, both the marriages were ended because of abuse and cheating. I now have a husband that doesn’t put his hands on me and I do feel blessed. My point, do whatever you have to do to get out! I live with regrets but, feel I did what I had to do to survive. Pray, seek God and get out before it is to late!
Do you have family that will help and support you and your kids until you can get on your feet?
Get you and your children out of there now…you and the kids need counselling…YOU CANT HELP YOUR HUSBAND…BUT YOU CAN SAVE YOUR CHILDREN AND YOURSELF.
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Where are your family can’t they help ? Next time call the police file a complaint restraining order call a lawyer he will have to pay support bye 
bully’s have to be shown they can’t get away with it
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It’s called child support and you can have him removed from the home. His behaviors will not change until he is shown that you will not allow this to continue. Good luck to you and your children stop making excuses, there is assistance, food stamps. Ect. Don’t leave put him out please. He is the problem he should leave
Take the car and take the kids call a local support service they will help you make the plan if he is abusive in the mean time call the police and have him removed from your home. Better yet call the police and show them the holes while your partner is at work. You need to get out it safely it only takes one hit the next could be your head not the wall. Xxx
Get a restraining order get help from the government or family who ever will get you help fast get him to pay child support and go on with life that’s it seems easy but it’s hard you have to do something so your children won’t ever witness that again
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Decide you and your children deserve to be treated with kindness and love from your partner. Make a plan to get out. Start working on your plan. Start saving up little bits of $ that he won’t notice too much if it’s missing. Talk to a social worker about resources in your area to help abused women with children break free. Your son’s behavior is typical of a child who has only ever seen this kind of behavior from his father, and it will only get worse. Try to get him in counseling before he won’t change his ways, even if you have to sneak him to it.
Been there and just walked out
Do you have family that you can turn to. Its not going to be easy but u can do it
There is help out there. But go now before your son hurts you daughter bad.
First thing, work full-time. Prepare your plan to leave in advance. Say nothing to him and give no indication of your plan until it’s complete. Women’s shelters can help you in transition. But if you can, just prepare for your departure.
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You need to leave, he won’t change, things will get worse. So sorry 
Go to court and get a support worker hun from family violence and get photos of bruises and the holes in the house and get your child into counselling and tell him it’s wrong to hurt his sisters
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I’m so sorry you and your children are living through this. You need to get you and your babies out of that. Take photos of all those holes in the walls incase you ever need evidence. I’m not sure where in the world you are but surely there would even be some kind of govt support to help you financially. But you need to get out, you need to break that cycle so you and your children are safe and so that your son doesn’t follow your husbands steps. Kia Kaha 
Have her call us, Love Life Now Foundation, Inc. at 888.556.9876 to get a little financial assistance, as well as resources of places that provide shelter, counseling for her and kids, etc.
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You have to leave!!! If you need advice please message me!
A friend of mine, had a friend (I didn’t know her), she was planning on leaving, had her personal items packed, but she waited too long and he ended her life. GET OUT NOW.
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God will Provide have Faith , and just walk out go to a women’s shelter for help
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I made a plan and waited for everything to fall in place.
After tax season I bought myself a cheaper reliable car, you can find something. Found a little apartment, I had 3 kiddos also, we all shared a room for 8 months.
Finally was able to file for divorce, and was awarded custody and child support which now helps pay rent for a 3 bedroom apartment. I got assistance from the state for help with food, and was able to attend a trade school.
There are ways, you just have to push your fear aside and make a better life for your kids.
You’ve got this!!
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Go to the police, say your a domestic violence relationship they will help you escape from him
Please contact victim support for help x
Walk out and go to a Women’s shelter.
Please get you and your babies out of there. God bless you and keep you all safe.
They have domestic violence housing programs.
This is not semi abusive. It’s abusive. And it’s not going to stop unless you stand up to him and get out of there. Talk to a lawyer. Speak with your MOST trusted friend/s and/or relative/s and see if they can help offer a place to stay. Make a plan and go. National domestic violence hotline has call, chat, or text options. There are victim assistance organizations that can give you advice and will help financially as well (like Safe Horizons). See what local options you have for assistance programs or shelters. I promise you don’t realize how many people are often willing to help until you reach out and tell them what’s going on. Leaving isn’t easy but it’s worth it. You can have a better life and you deserve it. You will be able to support yourself. Sometimes the hardest part is walking out that door but trust me, IT’S WORTH IT.
I got out 4 1/2 years and so can you.
It does affect children. There is always a way get out ASAP I went through it and recently had to put a restraining order on my 23 yr old son that tried to take my life exactly like his dad. Get ur kids out now. He can pay child support and spousal so that will help you
If you cant do it for You .Do it for Your Children .The Lord is with You. You take the First step. He got You the rest of the way. Trust Him .You are in My Prays.
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Leave when he isn’t home
Call a policeman, they can and will take you and your kids to a shelter.
If possible take birth certificates etc. with you.
Any amount of abuse is never okay.
The shelter will help you and your children get on y’alls feet.
Wish you the very best!
You can do this momma! Take pictures and email them to yourself (unless he has access). Call the cops the next time he’s abusive (I wish I would’ve & I know sometimes that’s hard when you have someone on your heels). I was with my ex husband for 9 years and I had 3 kids 10, 6 and 2 at the time. He wrecked me and the kids (luckily he got arrested that night), I got a restraining order and haven’t looked back. I won’t sugarcoat it it’s hard, but you can do this!!
I went through a relationship like this for 10 years I had 2 kids with him. I finally had enough and went and put a protective order on him to make him leave the house I had a waitressing job the crappiest vehicle I have ever seen and no money but I knew that getting away was the most important thing before he either killed me or one of my kids you will have to pretty much start from rock bottom but at least you will be showing your kids that it’s not the life they need to be living you can do it!
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Don’t you get it this guy is not good for your children or you he should run like hail to get away from him Use your brain
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you’re teaching your children that this behavior is OK!!
Your daughter will think it’s ok to get beat by her husband and your son will think it’s ok to beat his wife!!
You need to get it together!
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Get out and get out now. You’re only hurting yourself and your kids. When I left my abusive relationship, I left with nothing to my name. I left in the middle of the night while he was at work with a trash bag of my things and my kids, and only $300 to my name. Yes it’s hard, but you can do this! I’ve been free for 5 years and it’s the best thing I ever did for my children.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HELP AVENUES
This is for all the women currently questioning if they should leave their partner and the ones too afraid to ask advice. I honestly hope this helps at least one of you.
This is not a strict guide to follow; each person’s situation is different. Take from this what will help you.
How to safely plan to leave an abusive relationship
BANKING:
Open a new bank account with a new bank, ensure that statements are online only and to a new email address that is not linked to your phone.
Pick up the card from the bank and hide it well. Amongst the abusers things is usually safe, as they will not go looking there. Otherwise, under the sole insert in a shoe, unused board game, at work, there are many places. However, if you live with an abuser, I am sure you have a good hiding spot already.
Do not download the banking app to your phone!
Start putting what you can into that account. Any birthday money from friends or family, an unnoticeable amount from your wage (talk to work/centrelink); do not transfer to this account yourself. And any change you find around the house - a 600ml bottle of coke full of 2 dollar coins will save $1000
CBA, NAB, Westpac and ANZ all have the ability to help you escape a dv situation, but only if you are a customer. If you are not already, set up an account with one or more of the big four banks.
ING allow you to deposit money into your account at local post offices
If you have debit/credit cards, report them stolen so the abuser cannot access them once new numbers are provided.
If you do the family groceries and the abuser does not study the receipts, start buying gift cards (Visa, Woolworths and Coles) then hide them. They will assist you when you are setting up your new home.
Finances to rely on are necessary to ensure you do not break and run back to fake promises.
PHONE:
Buy a cheap phone and a spare sim, set that up and hide it, fully charged. You will need this when you turn your main one off to ensure the abuser cannot contact or track you.
If you are being physically assaulted, text the evidence to your secret phone.
POSSESSIONS:
Start sending important items that will not be noticed missing to either loved ones, work or storage. Things like photos, jewellery, ID, passport etc. And not all at once, this is over time.
For any clothes you cannot carry in a bag, but you want to keep. Do a “clean out”, say you are donating them and get them somewhere safe.
Or ‘donate’ a bag of clothes to any friend or family member that visits
Keep your unwanted clothes at the top of the draws and the front of the wardrobe so that the abuser does not notice your collection depleting
If you can, start selling things worth value that you do not need, and will not be noticed missing; put that money in your new account.
WORK:
If you work, tell your boss what is happening so that they will understand for when the time comes, and so the abuser cannot sweet talk information about you out of your colleagues.
Some workplaces provide DV leave, or you could take it under compassionate leave.
If you work for a corporation, ask for a transfer.
If not, have your working hours randomized for a while to ensure you do not have a continuous or steady work schedule.
CENTRELINK:
Let centrelink know of your plans and fill out any necessary paperwork required for your future change of circumstances. If you are moving to single parent payments, get the ball rolling as it can take a few weeks to finalise on their end. In addition, make sure all correspondence is sent to your new secret email address.
FAMILY & FRIENDS:
You may have lost some by this point, but that does not mean that they will not try to help you. Reach out; help is necessary, especially if kids are involved.
HOUSING:
If you are currently on a lease, talk to the agent privately as they can help you getting off it.
Start looking for somewhere once you know you are almost ready, the first agent may be able to help with this.
Find donation groups to help you set up. If you put it out to Facebook, have someone else act on your behalf, otherwise it will be an easy way for the abuser to track you.
Talk to churches, salvos, anyone that helps in this instance. If you have children, you will be fast tracked.
Move in with family or friends
Talk to a refuge/shelter if the above options won’t work
POLICE:
Let the police know of your plan in case something goes wrong. They can also help you get the remainder of your things later.
Also file for a DVO but do not have it put in place until you are out and safe! However, you may require proof of one either pending, or in place when it comes to the kids school.
KIDS:
If you have kids, you either take them with you at the time, or have someone you trust have them for the day
If they are at school, you need to let the school know in advance so that the abuser cannot collect them from there, ever. You will need a DVO or AVO in place for this to be enforced
You also need to get them out of that school early and not keep to your normal routine.
Changing schools is your best bet
This advice includes preschool
“Act for Kids” will help with support
Get a custody order in place ASAP.
kids are affected by abuse, even if it is not aimed at them directly. Do not concern yourself with how they will cope with the changes; just know they will be much better off for them.
ANIMALS:
If you have pets, talk to your local RSPCA or Rehoming group, as they will find a free foster carer to care for you animals until you are settled.
PLANNING YOUR ESCAPE DATE:
I understand you feel tired, worn out and more than likely a shadow of your former self. Nevertheless, do not let those feelings consume you! That strong, loveable, independent and caring person is still within you, and you need him/her now more than ever.
Find a day that the abuser will be away for a few hours. Be nice leading up to the event, plan the weekend, dinner etc. This will keep the abusers paranoia low; they will think they have you right where they want you.
Leave now or the next hole will be your grave !!!
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im speaking from 17 years experience being in an abusive relationship (free now) !!! but it only gets worse it doesnt get better my ex use to hurt me when he was mad and put holes in our home we have 4 daughters together who he would never hurt till he one day did and then i took action had him arrested and he isnt aloud anywhere near us or even back in the city !! Get out now while you can I know its hard but dont wait until what happened to me happens to you or your kids you wont forgive yourself. Its hard to do but so worth it and leaving could save your life and your kids
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I was in the exact same situation, I held on to hope, and that hope almost got me killed, I stayed 4 months after I had a gun hwld to my head, scariest choice in the world is to leave mama, but I have that feeling you already know exactly what your doing!! Don’t look for validation to make the choice, the best thing I ever did was walk away, im here if you need someone to talk to
Ps when I left I escaped with only my baby, I had to leave my oldest kids my pets my home my job my everything, but honestly I have so much more 3 years later on my own, I have soul custody of all 4 of my children
Please if you need help mama reach out you are not alone
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Leave before he kills you. Yesterday a women in her 50s lost her life because her and her husband got into a fight. Then killed himself. Leave him NOW, you can do it!!! Sooner or later he will put his hands on the kids. And your son will grow up thinking thats its ok to treat women like this. And your girls will just expect to always be treated like this by the men in their lifes.
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Leave you can get refuge there’s plenty of places that will help. Always put your kids first.
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I don’t where you live but when I left my abusive Situation I went to a home for women called the gatehouse and it helped me get on my feet. It was guarded 24/7, had my own duplex, paid 10% rent after taxes, free daycare, grocery store on campus. It was a 2 year program but as you become successful you move up in the program and they also provide you with lawyer help.
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1st step is stop making excuses and stories. People can’t help when they don’t know.
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Leave when he isnt home that way there isnt a giant commoiton and he doesnt try to hurt you. Trust your gut. If he is “mildy” abusive one day it can end in a disaster worse than you could or want to even imagine. Especially if it is rubbing off onto your kids. You need to get away. There are different resources that can help you with housing and vehicles and all of that stuff especially sicne you are trying to escape abuse with children. Please please not only for the sake of your children but for yourself, your sanity and your life get out now before you can’t.
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Why do you have to be the one to leave?
Find yourself a job and think this through… Set yourself up and then start making moves.
Battered women shelter
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Leave. There are alot of support services out there. Police may lead you on the right track
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Call the cops on him put him out of the house get a restraining order on him where he cannot come back and file for divorce
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Seek help when he is at work, not sure where you are but look for help for victims of domestic violence please!!! He will kill you or one of your kids while in rage, trust me!!!
I am 57 now but when i was younger i had an abusive father.i have 3 brothers and 2 sister’s.my mom left my dad and she worked very hard to keep us safe.she had no money. My point is you can get out of that relationship my mom got beat up so much by my dad i will never forget it.please do the right thing leave him.trust me you can get help with this.
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you are contemplating leaving him!!! You are one thing, but for your kids to see him do this to you & them is horrible, Please think of your kids 7 leave, And please say you have no where to go, because there are places for women & if not go to your parents, friends, sisters, anywhere is better than where you are now
There are woman shelters you can call. Ask parents or friends for support! First and foremost momma you got to protect those kids and break the cycle!
Get you and your kids out before your son kills one of your girls!!!
Quit making excuses their are women shelters all over. They can help you start over. It’s not for you your kids need this move.
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What’s the matter with you? He’s abusive to you and your kids. I don’t know what it’s gonna take. You need to pack some things and go immediately to a home for abused women and children!
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You owe it to your kids to get out!! Your children will grow up to be the same…you need to save them and yourself. I know its hard. I left my husband years ago with my baby and her clothes and toys…we had no money, no apartment and no car. A friend of mine drove 4 hours to get us when my husband left for work. My friend and sister got me an apartment, paid the 1sr months rent and bought me towels, two chairs and blankets. Eventually everything came together. Its hard but there are resources out there to help. You have to make a plan( as scary as it is) and LEAVE. I would be more afraid of the county taking your kids away because you left them in this situation.
I am truly sorry you are going through this. Some men( punks) just suck the life out of ya!!
Hugs to you and your kids and bless you always 
Start doing research and develop an exit strategy. Please don’t keep yourself in this situation. You can do this, don’t let the fear over cloud your judgment.
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Restraining orders are bullshit. It doesn’t actually stop him from coming around. Only if he’s actually caught by law enforcement. Some men are very smart! And waiting until you save enough, might be too late. There should be a shelter for women and children. Free to go to. Where I live, there’s 2 women’s centers and a gatehouse. The gatehouse is for women, men and children. Who are homeless. You get a room with enough beds and dressers. They help with food by giving you gift cards for grocery stores. You pay no rent or Bill’s. You get a job and they put so much in an account for you to save. When you can provide proof you can afford it, they will give you first months rent and security. They will also help you get a car. It’s very nice! And the womans center, is for abused women. And children. There is someone in the office all hours. You get your own room. They do counseling on site. And same thing. Gives you a safe place to live for free. Until you can get your own place. But they don’t help with rent or anything. But still nice. You should have options. And you could probably get food stamps. Thing’s to help out. You have to look thing’s up. And see your options for where you live. But I would definitely do something soon! Before it gets worse. Good luck!
If you have someone to help you move away from him, then GO!!! AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!!
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Leave him and break the cycle.
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