He needs anger management
1 Like
I was in a similar situation for 38 years, too scared to leave , scared of being alone with 2 kids scared of staying. Nobody can tell you what to do on here but I will say if you stay your children will be damaged. No child will grow up easy accepting mothers are treated like this. It will affect their self esteem for the rest of their lives. As for you, you are already damaged. He wont change, no amount of therapy will change him. There is another life waiting for you, but you need to be brave.
5 Likes
if you’re around for it to happen again, make sure you call the cops. press charges and immediately file a restraining order. that will physically remove him from your home.
I understand not wanting to break up the marriage, but YOUR SON IS CHOKING YOUR DAUGHTERS! This is not something to gloss over anymore! YOU MUST LEAVE. You can still attend counseling if that is your will, but at this point your kids are being negatively affected. BEST THING YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR KIDS AND FOR YOURSELF IS TO LEAVE! 
7 Likes
Get out now before it gets even worse
Hes not semi abusive, he is 100% abusive. Take your babies and run.
4 Likes
He isn’t just semi-abusive. Your life is at stake.
“Victims who have been choked once are 750 percent more likely to be killed by their abusers, and choking is considered a strong predictor of homicide.”
https://apnews.com/article/dc9066892be14b7f8cf234468a83f170
What your daughters are seeing will stick with them for the rest of their lives.
I speak from experience as a woman who grew up in a family of violent men and didn’t realize I needed to get the hell out when I was in the 12th grade and my boyfriend left a bruise on me because abuse was just so normalized by that point.
If you won’t do this for yourself, do this for your kids. You don’t want your son to batter women and you don’t want your daughters to become battered women.
3 Likes
Get out now! Before you end up seriously injured. Talk to your family they will help you find your local lethal aid for helpfilling divorce papers and a restraining order as well as a parenting plan/custodial papers limiting his time until things are settled. Call the non emergency police number they can connect you with other resources. I regret not telling my family the abuse was as bad as it was. My ex beat me up one night injuring my back bad enough I was approved for total disability in less than a year after applying.
You need to be able to have enough faith and confidence to leave for the sake of every one involved. This type always reverts back, and will never change.
Where there is a will, there’s a way.
Get involved in a womens abuse group and stop making excuses for this terrible man.
Please leave…I just left a 13 yr marriage like that and I might be struggling but I’m the happiest I have ever been in my life! If you need help, please message me!
1 Like
Get out…contact a domestic violence shelter. They will help u get out. Do whatever u have to to get away from him. It only gets worse as the years go on.
3 Likes
It sounds like there is much greater risk to your lives by staying than by leaving. There are programs all over that help in these situations. However, I am acknowledging that it’s easier to say that as an outsider. But please just leave. If there’s a Salvation Army or something around, I think they typically have shelters.
LEAVE!!! Go to a shelter house! They will help you! It only gets worse!!
I am a little further in this game than you. I was in the same situation for 7 years and I am now in the process of a divorce. I will tell you, leaving can be harder than staying. That’s when he will put up a fight, that’s when he will make your life hell. People are going to question whether or not you are just being dramatic, and you will start to even doubt yourself. You will start to tell yourself that maybe you are just being damatic. Maybe it wasn’t that bad. Momma, call it what it is. Bad is bad. Hold your head high, and gather your strength because when there are children involved you have no choice. You have an example to set for them. You need to show them that abuse is not acceptible. To give it, or to take it is not acceptable. Remember you are modeling for them how to be an adult, and put a lot of thought into what kind of adults you want them to be. Then you will know what you have to do, and when you know don’t turn back no matter how hard leaving gets. When you finally decide to do what’s right, the pain will not last forever, and things will get better.
12 Likes
Look up places for domestic abuse for women they should be able to help you with leave. Have family or friends help support you leaving
It is the hardest thing to leave an abusive relationship, especially when there are kids. You need to find the strength to do what is best for your children. I had very little and i fought for my kids. You can do this but you must do it fast and clean
I am going through this now
You need to get out
If CPS finds out that he is abusive and you are staying there you can risk losing your kids
Get an order of protection and then he will have to leave…
You may be even allowed to keep the family car due to the fact you have kids
This happened in my situation…. We are staying in the house he owns and he has to pay for it and he can not come in here
If I did not take the actions I did … I would have had my girls placed in foster care
7 Likes
Reach out to Domestic Violence shelters. They will help you get on your feet, to be independent. I’ve been where you are. I left on Nov 9, 2020. My sons and I are currently moving into our first “own” place! It’s an amazing feeling! You will find happiness you’ve not known for years! Life will be better!! For you and your children! I know many people don’t think counseling works, but I’m not sure I would be as far as I am without counseling and support. Good luck! I will keep you in my prayers!! 
Have you called your local domestic violence women’s shelter? They can take you in, get you linked to resources you need to start on your own and help you navigate the legal aspects, like custody. It also goes on record that you sought help, which is very important. You need a support system around you. For US citizens, you can start by calling the number on the attached photo. It is safe, secure, and private. Get help and get out. 
sending you strength to do what is best for you and your little ones.
1 Like
RUN!!! GOD’S GOT YOUR BACK! Have trust in him. I would look for help, a woman shelter something. I would no longer allow that man to do this to not only you but your children. Verbal abuse is worse then actually putting hands on. I will pray for you hun. Please DM me if you need to talk.
1 Like
GET OUT NOW! There is a place for you, a job for you, a car for you. Just go
1 Like
Dumbass bro. Excuses excuses your kids choking the other kids and your worried about money. Tf you will.make it !!! Dont be afraid to leave cause of the negative focus on u and the kids
There are apartments that pay for you to live there…
There are so many agencies out there that help abused women and children.
1 Like
Don’t make excuses for him.
1 Like
Please find the courage to leave. Call family, call a shelter. If not for yourself, think about your sweet babies growing up this way. That is not the life you want for them. 
2 Likes
It sounds like he’s got angry man syndrome. Look, I was married to my ex for 32 years, had three children together.
I was a naive 21 year old when I met him. He was so nice to begin with and treated me so well. I fell in love quickly and couldn’t picture not having him in my life even after the manipulation and control behaviour started. As I’d never been around or knew of any relationship like this I thought I deserved it. I was a bad person. He convinced me of it. Physical, mental and verbal abuse. Insane as it sounds, I stayed with him, got married and had as I mentioned three children. Eventually the abuse was also directed at them as they got older. I left him once with the kids and he manipulated them over the phone. They were petrified of him. I couldn’t handle being a single mom with all of the stress and pressure he was putting on them and me. This story could go on for a long time but in the end he had an affair and that was it. Thank goodness. Two of our kids (30’s now) don’t speak to him at all and the eldest barely holds a relationship with him. He remarried a year after our divorce and now he’s divorced again so what does that say. Men like this have issues. They try to blame others and take their anger out on the closest people to them. Usually they have no idea how to love another. I’ll leave with this. If a marriage is void of trust and respect, that is not a healthy marriage and never will work. For your young son to be behaving that way towards his own sisters, you really need to end this now. Best wishes. 
Children learn from example & I’ve always said they only become bullies from a bully or bullies at home.
Reread what you wrote here.
You have to decide what to do,no one can make up your mind but you.
2 Likes
For all those saying to just leave it’s really not that simple. And I’m sure she feels enough guilt for having her children in that situation, she doesn’t need anyone shaming her for staying or asking how she could put her children through that. As a domestic abuse survivor my situation became even more dangerous once I left and things snowballed. I’m lucky my son and I are alive.
All of that being said, I stayed at home and only worked a couple days a week also. Since we had a joint bank account, little by little I began putting money away without him knowing. I had a thousand dollars saved when I left him. It wasn’t much but I had to get out. It’s a good thing I did that because when I left he completely drained our bank account leaving my son and I with nothing. Do that if you can, open a separate bank account if yours is joint.
When you leave, immediately file for a protective order, emergency custody, and child support and alimony. My courthouse had domestic abuse advocates and they were angels. If you can get in contact with one, do it immediately. They have so many resources to help you. The domestic abuse hotline can also help you with a safety plan to get out. You are not alone. Feel free to reach out to me if you need help or have any questions. Please be safe.
7 Likes
Run . Counseling for you and the children. Your som is growing up thinking this is normal and your girls will think this is acceptable from a man. Go to a shelter or call and have your husband arrested. Get a protective order. File for child and spousal support and stay in the house. Show the cops the holes in the walls etc. Get you and your children OUT NOW
2 Likes
LEAVE! Stop wasting your life living in violence! Save your children and yourself get your son into counseling! Do you want some other woman to suffer the same fate as you? Cause by allowing this behavior you are condoning it for your children. This is making you an enabler. LIVE
Call your local Domestic Shelter, they will help you and your kids with everything. Realize you & your children deserve the best in life. Good Luck
1 Like
You can go to any firehouse, hospital, police station for refuge.
No such thing as semi abusive. Don’t make excuses for his behavior you and your CHILDREN deserve better. Please leave and update us. Ring the Police and they will help.
3 Likes
Stop making up excuses!
You can get help from women services if you don’t get out DHS will take your kids wether he hurts them or not
Make the move life is to short for that behavior there is help out there for you find the courage to leave him good luck God bless you
I just want to let you know that you are justified in calling his actions abusive. You don’t have to say semi abusive. I understand this is incredibly hard and I am proud of you for taking the first step by reaching out here. I hope you are able to find good advice on here. Stay strong and stay safe.
2 Likes
He should never touch you.
And your children sound like they are becoming a product of their upbringing.
Leave. Like last week. But it’s not always that simple.
Maybe start here, but document/take pictures of your wrecked areas and holes in the house. Bruises/cuts on you. Threats in texts(screenshot them and send to your email). Get a PPO. Good luck, mama. 
Get out! From experience, I would leave n always go back because I thought I couldn’t do it by myself with 2 kids,but I got tired of it, the 3rd time he put his hands on me and almost killed me, I told myself I would never look back again, and I didn’t, I haven’t saw that POS in 10 years best decision of my life! I had too built myself up, do what was best for my kids, you have too have that mind set, yes it’s scary but it’s better than living in fear for the rest of your life. YOU GOT THIS! Keep your head up!!!
2 Likes
What is “semi abusive“?
Please ladies: there are 2.5 billion men out there. The second your man disrespects you in the tiniest way, leave.
Also: never allow a man (or woman for that matter) to control YOUR money. I lived with someone for a decade, we both worked and each had their own bank account. The house didn’t belong to me, so I paid my share into the household from my income. We don’t live together now, but we are still in a relationship. Because I always kept my own money separately, I was able to leave when I had to.
Stay independent. Always.
LEAVE, you can rebuild, I promise, things will get better
Don’t minimize it and say he is semi abusive. He is abusive and you are enabling him by not calling the police when he hurts you. Your child is mimicking his behavior, do you want your child to grow up and be abusive towards his family and loved ones?? 
LET’S DO BETTER FOR OUR CHILDREN
Hun find somewhere to go that’s not right down the road and easy to find you. It may take some time and planning on your part to actually put the plan into action but it’s worth it in the end. Until then you slowly but surely put things you need away and narrow it down to the essentials for when you leave. Wait until he’s gone to work or away from home for awhile and just go. Don’t look back. Apply for the injunction and get it on file once your away. Document anything an everything you can that happens between now and then. If he puts his hands on you call for help. Don’t back down when they ask about charges. In some cases you can reside in the home until court has been done. My mom did when her ex husband pulled a gun on her. Jobs come and go. Vehicles come and go but you and your children’s safety is what matters. As a mom you’ll figure it out. I promise you will. I’m a domestic abuse survivor and God was I scared when someone said the same thing to me but I took the leap of faith and my life and kids lives are so much better
Start hiding money away. Even just quarters. Then plan your escape. Do it in secret. I wish you all the strength. You CAN do it… when your ready 
Call for help before it gets worse. This behavior is what your children think he is doing is normal to do. I am sorry he is treating you bad and being so mean. Start a new life good luck.
I understand… it’s easier said than done. But you need to dig deep and pull all your buried anger, hurt, pain and every emotion you have and turn it into strength, determination and motivation and take that first step. Call your local Domestic Violence and tell them EVERYTHING! Don’t leave out anything! Once you make that first physical step you and your advocate will make a plan and everything else will fall into place. I promise you that you will be ok. Don’t think about what your gonna lose cuz nothing’s as bad as losing your life. Stop the cycle right now! Don’t waste another day with your kids in this kind of environment. This is learned behavior and I don’t think you want your kids holding onto this pain or the memories. You can do it!
4 Likes
Praying for you , and stay strong for your babies. I know how hard it is to leave, your scared but your not alone
1 Like
Need to get you and your kids out of your house.
I would talk to a domestic violence agency in your area… they are 100 percent confidential. They can help you plan a safe exit and provide you with resources. I would be more afraid to stay than leave. It might be scary to you but if he is capable of hurting you he is capable of hurting your kids. It is only a matter of time before this escalates. You shouldn’t wait for it to get worse or hit a point of no return.
3 Likes
I’m sure you have family or you can Google women shelters …… you need to get full custody of your children and a restraining order against him. While doing that a divorce need to be done as well. You don’t want to be 6ft under and he is left to raise your children.
1 Like
He does not semi abuse you, he is abusive. I have been there, my kids were like 2 and 3. I was afraid to leave until I heard that subjecting kids to this violence is child abuse, even when they are not being hit and that was on me. I made plan with the help of a womans domestic violence center, I kept a log with dates and times of incidents and I left. If you din’t wanna leave for you, leave for your children.
5 Likes
Get out now before he kills one of you go to a shelter
where is your family or some friends that could help, check out Social services
Honey where there’s a will there’s a way. Your kids will grow up thinking this is normal. Document the abuse and get out now.
5 Likes
First: He’s not “semi abusive”. There’s no such thing. He’s abusive. Don’t sugarcoat his behaviour.
Second: LEAVE. Now. He’s not going to change, no matter how hard you try. In fact, he will likely become worse. Then your kids may be in danger. LEAVE.
Third: Reach out to family, loyal friends, work associates, and domestic abuse hotlines etc for help. He’s purposefully put you in this dependent position. Don’t let him win.
1 Like
Staying in an abusive relationship can and will get your kids taken from you if the wrong person finds out
1 Like
Take your kids and go to a battered women’s shelter.
They will help.
5 Likes
Please leave your not teaching your sons anything but to verbally and physically abuse our daughters:cry:
2 Likes
Babe please leave and save your babies before you can’t.
1 Like
Its time to go do u have any family or friends that u can go to untill u can get up on ur own … praying for u
Allowing your children to live in a household where abuse occurs IS CHILD ABUSE. You are their mother. It is your absolute duty to protect your babies, even if that means leaving the “comfort” of your home. If not for yourself, do it for your children. Good luck
2 Likes
Go to a domestic violence shelter. That’s where I went when I left my abusive ex husband. They helped me get my own apartment and everything. Good luck xx
8 Likes
No such thing as “semi-abusive” he IS being abusive! Verbal abuse is a very real thing & you and your children shouldn’t have to live like that. 
1 Like
Esther leave him or put up with him it’s your choice.
1 Like
Half of whatever you have is yours. Just because you are a stay at home mom doesn’t mean you don’t own half of the assets. And you might be entitled to spousal support as well.
2 Likes
No such thing as semi abusive. Please call the domestic abuse hotline.
Just do the right thing for your children and yourself! Get the hell out!!! It is only a matter of time before this escalates. One way or another, you will survive on your own. There are organizations in most cities to help women in your situation get out. I grew up in a loveless household (no violence) and it has affected me my whole life, I am now 63. Get the hell out, worry about the logistics later.
Put your husband in jail when he does this crap
3 Likes
Run there are many places to help you check out battered womens shelters in your area
1 Like
Go to a women’s shelter. They’ll even help you get a lawyer to get custody. Also, seek therapy for your son. But if he is already getting those habits, you need to leave. Look for HUD housing, section 8. There is government assistance. There’s always ways to leave that type of situation. It just depends if you’re willing to go through the struggle of leaving.
2 Likes
Try to not think of all the ways you “can’t” get out and think of why and ways for how you can do it. Convince yourself. “I can do this.” And nothing can stop you. You have 4 reasons you need to think this way. Your self and your children. Mentally get your mind in the right place to know you can do it. No one ever accomplished anything with “I can’t”. Good luck 
you got this.
Get out of that relationship. Go find some kind of help.
1 Like
Get out now before he kills you
2 Likes
He’s teaching his son it’s okay to treat his future significant other this way while teaching his daughters it’s okay to accept abuse from their significant other.
Call around for a local women’s shelter, call a local college campus (some of them can point you in the right direction), talk to your doctor.
Do his parents know what he’s like? If they visit and ask about the damage to the walls, have him explain how it happened. If he lies, maybe one of the kids will speak up.
Get out of there any way you can.
Do you have family members or friends you can stay with? Is there a battered women’s shelter in the area? The 1st step is deciding that you will and giving yourself ways that you can Instead of reasons why you can’t. God bless!
WTH is semi abusive ??? Abuse is ABUSE 
you are raising your son to be just like his father and teaching your daughters that is ok to treat women and themselves like this !!! RuN !!!
6 Likes
If you don’t provide protection for your children than you are just as guilty when it comes to the abuse. I’m sorry to say but that’s how the state will see it if something happens to them. You have to leave immediately please before y’all leave in body bags. This definitely isn’t a issue to play with. First if u have family that’s where u need to go. Second U need to file a order of protection for all of u. Third make sure he’s taken off all school records and is listed as a red flag in the school so he can’t get to the kids and take them. U also need to file for emergency custody. All these things can be done w a probono attorney which u can get thru the state free because u are a victim of abuse. Please feel free to message me privately and I can give u more information. Please move quickly for all of your safety. Also try and leave while he’s at work. Make these plans silently and move fast. Also any access to cash u have including bank accounts clear them out. Take everything u can but definitely everything of necessity.
4 Likes
Make a plan, YOU get counseling to get strong for your children. Prayers
When I lefty’s my ex-husband I had 4 dogs 2 kids and school was going start soon. I had no job no way to pay rent but I kicked him out lost everything but gained my life and freedom back. I was being yelled at hit and whatever else he was dishing out that day. You will leave when you have enough it took me 8 years.Just keep your head up and stay safe.
Take pictures of all the holes in the walls… pack about 3 changes of clothes, all important documents… take ur kids and go to the nearest police/sheriff’s station… ask them to help you get to a dv shelter asap as you are now fearing for yours and ur kids life. Putting hands on u is a no no regardless… it’s never easy to leave but it’s only in the beginning. Your 7yo needs help and the first step is to get yourselves out from that situation. I can’t say where to go or names of places as it can compromise many others that were in the same boat as urself. But there is help and there is places…
1 Like
LEAVE, if not for you do it for the kids.
1 Like
You need to leave asap and put all of the kids in therapy. Your son will turn out like him and your daughter’s will date men like him and they know it’s ok because mom deals with it and it’s what they are used to seeing. If you love your babies you need to get on a phone and call an abuse shelter and leave and do ńot go back because they don’t change. And then your kids will want to know why you love him more and keep going back. DON’T LET YOUR BABIES SUFFER ANYMORE, GET HELP NOW!
Women’s shelter ! Now , don’t look back . Take the car till they repo it. See if you can get more hours at work and look for a full time job.It will be hard on You . The kids will adjust , and so will You ,it takes time. This part of your life is for your kids. Your time and prince will come a little later. Much love to You and Yours. You can do this !!!
1 Like
There is no such thing as “semi” abusive. Abuse is abuse. Period. And he IS abusive. You need to get you and the kids out and the kids need therapy.
2 Likes
Divorce his ass and make sure he helps pay for you to get on your feet. Go stay with family or friends. Get out before it’s to late.
I would ask every friend and every family member for help because your life and your kids lives are worth any form of shame that you might feel.
Your son could end up just like him and your daughters could end up with men like him and that in itself is SCARY. Do not be afraid to ask for help, tell your circle what’s happening, tell local law enforcement what’s happening and find out what resources they offer around you.
1 Like
Please leave. Get help. Maybe counseling for all of you
He needs to be checked for mental health problems or he is just reflecting how he was raised and u need to run
If you go into a shelter with your children they will help you with affordable housing and guide you to becoming independent, getting back your self esteem and taking care of your children. Good luck.
2 Likes
Get in touch with a DV agency NOW! It’s the best thing I ever did for me & my kids. Good luck! You will recover from this.
3 Likes
Private message if you can please , there’s definitely hope. You don’t want the kids to think this is okay sweetie
2 Likes
Leave while you still can. Go where he can’t find you. Where there’s a will, there’s a way:pray:t2:
1 Like
You calm a domestic violence advocate and let them help you plan an escape. And get the kids into therapy ASAP! You document every time he hurts you, make a report if you can without pressing charges. Back up all of your evidence in a safe place with a safe person that he doesn’t have access to. And you can’t do counseling with an abuser they just learn new ways to better abuse you. It didn’t help Bc he didn’t change himself he just stopped for a little bit so you’d stay and be his good little victim. Start purging stuff as a way to pack up some of your things and get them out of the house.
Make escape a priority! The next time he put his hands on you could leave you dead and your kids will be with him full time. And when your gone he will start physically abusing them.
2 Likes
Don’t worry about the vehicle thing. That’s not important. Worry about yourself and your kids and get all of you out of there, whatever it takes. Everything else will fall into place. The hardest part is leaving.
2 Likes
Smh why don’t women leave men like this who hurt them IN FRONT OF THEIR KIDS?! There is many ways to leave and to get assistance with things. You simply just don’t wanna leave because all I hear is excuses
1 Like
Women’s shelter. Take it from someone who was in a abusive relationship for 12 years, it will only get worse. Leave before he kills you!!! Any friends or family that can help also. Make sure to get yourself and your children therapy.
1 Like
Leave… it gets worse!
1 Like
You can get help, child support and aid. Don’t stay
1 Like
Please get out ASAP! Use every resource you can please please please! Not only do you need to get out for yourself BUT FOR YOUR KIDS before you ruin them for seeing what they see! That kind of stuff is so traumatizing! And as soon as you land on your feet please get yourself and your children into therapy!! YOU CAN DO IT MAMA!!
5 Likes
Kids first theres programs to help you get housing and a vehicle get out while you still can
1 Like