PLEASE STOP GIVING YOURSELF EXCUSES FOR WHY YOU CAN’T LEAVE! 
There are shelters & agencies in place to support you and your children. The only one keeping you and your children in this abusive and destructive environment is you!
LOVE YOURSELF & YOUR CHILDREN ENOUGH to GET OUT NOW!
I hope you do for all your sakes. Sending you strength 
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Let me say this…i was with my ex husband for 8 years. He was physically and verbally abusive. I can still hear the screams of my little girl standing in the doorway of the room watching my ex husband beat me while im on the floor. My son and I wiuld sit outside at 3am waiting foe him to go to sleep. I got beat over not knowing where the car keys were…I just cant name it all because its so much. I have been through hell and back. And through all of that, I stayed for those 8 years because I always had it in the back of my head “I cannot afford to support me and my kids. I wont have a vehicle. How will i provide for them?”…until reality slapped me in the face one day and I never looked back. You know what he did with MY car that he put in his name? He sold it. He had always belittled me…even though I was working, going to school, taking care of him (he got injured offshore), taking care of his mama (she is mentally disabled), cleaning the house, cooking anddd taking care of my 2 children. Nothing I ever did was good enough. I use to always feel like they deserved better but that wasnt it…I DESERVED BETTER. and you need to realize that. I am 4 years divorced and I have a lifetime protective order in place. There is always a way out but you have to be the one to figure it out. People use to tell me “just leave him”…but it wasnt that simple. It was an emotional ride when i finally left and Im glad I did. My kids and I are happier than ever. Im praying for you and that you find your way out for you and your babies.
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There is no such thing as partial abuse. He is totally abusive. Get out before you get hurt!
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Please leave for your sake and kiddos
Get out anyway you can x
Thats what finally made me leave…i didnt want my sons to think it was okay to treat women this way and i didnt want my daughter thinking it was normal to be treated this way by a man. Get away…you’ll never look back! 
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Leave, leave, leave!!!
File a restraining order ASAP. Also please please please do not tell him you’re going to try and leave him at all. If u have to call the cops tell them you n kids are in danger and need to get to a women shelter
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Materialistic stuff comes and goes but your children’s peace won’t. You need to leave, before a vehicle or anything else. Call your local women’s shelters or contact family.
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My suggestion is start up small companies such as a cleaning company or baby sitting while he is gone or watch them in their house as well as join bomb party pampered chef or scentsy i myself is doing all of these to keep money aside no I’m not in a abusive relationship but I bring in my money have my own saving as well as have investments in different companies as I do not trust anyone when it comes to people splitting up
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My advice is to make a plan to leave. It’s only going to get worse. I’m really sad that you and your children are having to live like this. I pray it gets better for you. Good luck.
If you have family turn to them! It’s only gonna get worse and what your kids sees is how they are gonna act! GET OUT! I’ve been in the same boat and it’s NOT easy to leave someone like that by any mean! If you can try to turn for help! If you report it they will provide somewhere for you and your kids to stay that he won’t know about! Get out! You and your kids will be happy in the long run!! Good luck momma!
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Have him arrested and then go to a womens shelter
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File for child support and leave
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Get out now before you or your children are suffer anymore.
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Listen you CAN leave!! I was scared to death and I did it. My ex was verbally and emotionally abusive for over 5 years. I had 3 kids under 5 at the time. It was the best thing I could have ever done. Of course I was scared. But I didn’t want my daughter thinking that it was okay to be treated that way or my boys thinking it was okay to treat a woman that way. I went to social services they helped me so much! Eventually got back on my feet. It will take time until you get into a routine. But YOU CAN DO IT.
Now I bought a home with my boyfriend of 3 years who treats my kids as if they were his own, I have a great job and a car. A lot of these things he always said I would never have if I left him. You got this
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Tape his actions!
I am divorcing a Narcissistic STBX husband now.
Yes, I am broke but I picked up the habit of Crystals since and I sell them just to get by.
Going into 2 & 1/2 years of the Divorce!!
Get out now before he permanently disables you! I am now completely disabled because of his assault!
I have gone 2 & 1/2 years without a vehicle and we have 6 cars between us!
I’d love to throw down this cane and run through the grass again!
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As someone who’s been there i can tell you it’s not easy…but the relief of getting yourself and your kids out of that situation is well worth it.
Pack what you need …kids birth certificates , special Teddy, passports etc…take your time and make sure you have all forms of identification…remember cash. You work and youve put up with his abuse so don’t feel guilty for taking half whats in the account
Pack the kids uniforms and a weeks clothes…all of them if you can manage because he’ll probably destroy whats left.
We went to my sister but if family is not possible go to the police. Tell them you are escaping an abusive relationship and need help . They will help you to a safe place
The shelter will advise on benefits, housing etc . Dont be ashamed to accept help…every benefit you’re entitled to…its not going to be forever. You will find your feet again .
Believe me when I say his treatment of you will get worse and you can see its already affecting your children
Please take action. Gather every bit of courage you’ve got and get out now .
Youre strong enough…you can do this
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Leave u and ur kids deserve so much better and so much better is waiting for yie on the other side good luck sending strength and hugs 
Run away and never look back. If he has money the court will make him pay child support and potentially alimony. He will be forced to pay even if he is deemed unfit for visitation. I would push for supervised visits as he sounds very emotionally and physically abusive. Regardless of finances you need to get out ASAP and as safe as possible.
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I wish I knew who this question was from. To the owner of Mamas Uncut , you need to step in. You know who wrote this, you need to report their spouse.
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That’s not semi abusive!!! LEAVE !! Now. If not for you then fir your kids. Do not announce it. Anything is better than what you described.
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There is light at the end of this tunnel please believe me but you must first believe in yourself your strong you’ve got this far don’t let a man like that continue to keep destroying you and your children there is help out there please please reach out for help for all of your sakes if the poster would like to message me please do I’ve been there reach out to someone it can change your life
You need to go now. There’s no such thing as “semi abuse.” Also, even if he’s not putting his hands on you, it’s still abuse. Your son is picking up his habits and thinking it’s ok to treat others this way. You should do some searching in your area to see if there are any places that offer assistance to people affected by domestic violence. Good luck mama you deserve a better life for you and your kids
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Call family, look up resources in your area, I’ve been abused and I know how hard it is to escape. While I know you want to be anonymous, if you ever need help in finding resources, please let me know and I will research, find people to help and so on, because neither you nor your children should be around that. And I’m so proud of you for making the decision to leave!!
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Contact a local domestic abuse center NOW! Your husband will someday tire of putting holes on the walls, and you will be his next target. Get guidance from them on how to prepare for when his behavior escalates. Seek out some way to move out as quickly as possible. The domestic abuse agency may be helpful in that area as well.
survivor resource network
You need to get out my ex was verbally abusive he left me with 2 kids child support was always late he changed jobs all the time but I got back on my feet got a good job took care of my kids you can do it
pm me i can reach out to an advocate who can help you find one in your area. have a safety plan if you can before you leave, it’s the most dangerous times
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You have become accustomed to abuse. There is no such thing as “semi” abusive, although I understand where you were going with that. I am so sorry. I, too, remember the holes all over the house, and on my body. If you and your children can go without certain things to get out of this situation, I would do it. It is truly scary and HARD, but the other side of it, the life you and your children deserve, is waiting for you. Always remember that you are stronger than you think. All my love to you!
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With you staying there and letting your kids witness such events, it’s a severe case of child abuse and they only learn from the same sex, that’s why your son is acting out and your going to teach your daughters it’s okay to cop abuse and your boys will think it’s okay to hand it out 
you pack the eff up and do what’s right instead of sitting there and going over the what ifs !!!
Theres this shelter for battered woman called hope house they have multiple different buildings in different areas try to see if they have any rooms available for u an the kids
Please seek refuge with a shelter for abused women, use google search to find closest to you. Do not stay in this environment. Your children need to be in individualized counseling themselves(as should you). The shelter can set you up and help get you back on your feet. Do this for yourself and your children. Get out while you’re still alive and while your son’s behavior can be corrected. I’d file for emergency sole custody and file a restraining order against husband.
Get out get help because you are part of the problem too… your best side is you know it and you need to make a change
You need to stop making excuses to stay in this and get your ducks in a row. Get help from family. Call a local resource or shelter. I was someone who experienced this, and made excuses as well. You’re worth it, you’re capable, and it will be the best decision you make for you and your kids.
Leave now women’s refuges are where you need to be and they will help
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U really need to leave and get out i know it sounds easier said then done but trust me u wont ever look bk i left the day i found out i was pregnant with my fourth i had no friends as i wasnt allowed any and i also had no transport as i couldnt drive and it was the best thing i ever did hes made u believe that ur not good enough to do it on ur own and its bullshit its mental abuse go be the mamma u know u can be ive been on my own 9 year now and im the happiest ive ever been dont get me wrong it is hard n u still have off days but its all worth it when u look at ur kids
Go to a shelter and start again. You will meet other people, n good people. Start again, you don’t need him. He will need you , but he don’t realize it yet till your gone.
The Court will get you money out of him for the children. Get out now even if you have to go to the police station and sit on the steps.
If you felt the need to ask you already have an answer its toxic for all of you and time apart can help. Or just break completely. Kids dont need to grow up in that environment.
Utilize your resources! I didn’t even know there were advocates to help me once I escaped my abuser. Your area should have local DV shelters and advocates to help you make a plan. Making a plan is your first step once you’re ready to leave! God bless you!
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Contact shelters or domestic violence hotlines. They will give you steps to get out safely. They will also hook you and the kids up with therapy, help you with a job search, to find a lawyer, get a restraining order and emergency custody of the children, get you a donated car, help you hide if needed.
Take pix of holes in the walls and other damage, recordings of his yelling, pix of any bruising or physical marks on You or the kids. Send the evidence to two people you trust and your lawyer when you get one. You may be able to have your husband pay for your lawyer, but ask your lawyer.
Quietly gather birth certificates, other important papers you will need and put them someplace safe, like a safe deposit box only you have access to, a P.O. Box or trusted friends and family.
Once you are safely out of the house, let your friends and employer know the situation so they can keep him out/away from you and not reveal any information to him, prefers blocking his number.
The shelter/center staff can help you figure out what to do with your housing, depending on whether or not you rent, own, or are on the lease/title/mortgage.
This is in Northern Virginia but has good info on the web site: thewomenscenter.org
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if you leave it’s not gonna be easy but you can do it many single moms out there are capable and u r too !
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There should be a domestic violence/ladies shelter close by. Find it, go there with your children when he is not home.
If you can squirrel away some $, do it. Skim from the grocery bill, sell things on line, create. A stash.
Take all important papers with you, you probably won’t get back in the house.
Make a plan, don’t let him know. Leave before it’s to late. And abuse is abuse no matter how you look at it, it’s still abuse when you cover for him etc. Good luck!
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Hes playing you. He will never change and he adores causing harm to you and your kids. By yourself…he will have to support all 4 of you, 70% of his income. I did it and I didn’t know he was a narcissist . He tried to kill me several times and I recently found thT 1 if 4 of our kids was his target and he would beat him. I didn’t know, I was working or recovering and never witnessed. Get out
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Take. It. From. Me my. Thee kids. Won’t have. Any thing. To. Do. With me I. Stayed. 25. Years. It. Was. Hard. When I. Left. The last. Time. You r ruining. Your. Kids. They. Will. Be this. Way when. They become. Teens
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Get out, ask for help, contact battered women’s group they will help or something similar to that
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Please look for the closest women’s shelter. You and your children don’t deserve this.
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Listen to this. Woman. Run there r. Shelters. Save. Some. Money start. Getting. Stuff. Out. That. You can. Do. You have family
get the hell outa there ASAP!!! Dogs dont change there spots! n most of all get that boy outa there n into therapy fast go to family friends or local church theyll help you
Call and ask them how to get out of there and then do what they tell you. You can do it.
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That’s not semi-abusive, it’s full scale abuse. Go to your county social services office and tell them you’re in a domestic violence situation and they’ll get you the help you need to leave.
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Leave fast!! This is no way for you or your children to live. Keep in mind that when you do leave, things can get more dangerous. Let police and someone you trust know!!!
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Reach out to a local women’s shelter, churches, and get outta there asap!! Your kids will believe this is how you love.
It’s not safe and it’s not right.
Get all of you into therapy asap too. Call the cops the VERY MOMENT HES ABUSIVE TO YOU NEXT.
Your not stuck. Reach out their are so many agency’s out there willing to help.
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Get out NOW. However you have to do it. Ask for help from your family, from a women’s shelter, whatever is available. Don’t make an elaborate plan that will end up never happening. Make a list of everything you need and pack it up while he’s at work and GO.
Leave now my daughter spent 10 years with an abusive man and it got worst ,black eyes and abuses all up her arms and across her far head where he slam her head on the dashboard of the car. They have two kids he always called the oldest in the room every time they got into fight trying to turn her against her mom . she hates her dad now even remembers the things he did to her mom.
My friend your children are watching everything- and demonstrating how they see it. You need to start collecting evidence- pictures, recordings and whatnot- you also need to seek out a lawyer - there are services available. Also next time he puts hands on you call the cops. No one deserves to be hit.
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Everyone is going to say pack up and leave, which is a good thought but it’s not that easy for everyone. You’ve already made up your mind that you want out which is great that’s the first step! Will any of your friends or family let you stay until you get some child support set up so you can get your own place? If you don’t have anyone go to your nearby churches, there is some amazing people in the world that will help you without a second thought you just have to ask. My sister was in a similar situation and she filed for emergency custody of her kids and put a protective order on him. She and the kids got to keep living in the house (he had to leave) until the divorce was settled and she was stable enough to get her own place. I really hope you get out soon, I know it’s hard. 
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Leave…call life crisis they will help you. I dont know your state but they should have some kind of place you can go to escape domestic violence.
Please leave, PLEASE. 
Get your affairs in order, take all the important documents to a friend or family member for safe keeping. Move your most important things a few at a time so he won’t notice. And sock away a little money where he can’t get to it. Then contact a shelter representative to help you get out. Don’t worry about money and stuff so much that it keeps you stuck in an unsafe situation. You deserve respect and safety. Get a protective order if you can. Women are most at risk when they try to leave. The abuser may escalate to life threatening actions when he realizes that he is losing control over you. Document EVERYTHING. Take pictures of your bruises and your walls. You don’t want the courts to give him unsupervised visits with your kids or deny your protection order. You can do this. 
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Call the womans shelter hot line. Good luck
Get out of the situation. It’s not healthy and will cause years of trauma for you and your children.
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Run to a shelter or find a chruch that will help you
U really need to decide what’s best for ur children in a situation like this,
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Been there done that. Was in an abusive relationship for over 10 years with 3 kids. It will never get better. They have programs that help. But you’d probably have to press charges and make sure you do not drop them! No matter what he says. Get out!!! And don’t look back!!
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No just no love is never supposed to feel that way
Just go pack the kids and go,dont reason,question or try to defend it,pack and go
I spent a month hoarding things. Like birth certificates, socials, money, etc. Small, but important. I didn’t even bother with clothes.
When he’s at work, go to the local PD and make them aware. They have resources for shelters. They will also be there so you can pack and leave safely.
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Stop making excuses for the holes in the wall… If he can’t defend his actions to other people then he probably shouldn’t be doing it. You definitely need to leave. I know it’s not always that easy…but sometimes it is. Do you want your children to learn that this is how a healthy relationship looks? If your daughter was with someone like this…what would you tell her? Better get a move on
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If you leave you will still have your sanity. Plenty of places that will take women n children. Or maybe a family member…as far as a car there are other means of transportation you are staying for all the wrong reasons. Just look your son already picked up bad habits … you want your daughters to think this life is ok and go thru and accept abuse. You have to think more of them than yourself… leave believe me someone will help
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Sounds like a narcissist, it doesn’t get better. My kids and me endured it for 17 years
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Don’t overthink this - it’s not a question… Prepare a plan to leave, and with all your children in tow. Execute as fast as possible. You won’t see things clearly until your miles and months away. Many, many resources to help you. Save your children further trauma.
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LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!!! First stop is the police station to protect yourself and your children…they HAVE TO ACT ON YOUR REPORT They will help you get an order of protection and a safe place to stay. Your children deserve MUCH BETTER!!! Good luck.
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You will survive better then the kids not having a mother and left to his devices , the kids will end up screwed up from him so leave while they are young and more damage is done . Go to a shelter get some help other mothers get buy with out a car . Stuff living in fear
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He’s not semi abusive. He’s just abusive !
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get out asap. with all your important papers , go to a shelter tell them what is going on . they will help you . the kids deserve better and so do you
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You are teaching the kids how to behave by NOT getting them OUT of there.
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I left an abusive man when I realized my son saw him hit me .that ended right there. Get to a shelter for your children’s sake ! It is abuse to them !
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Leave now before it is too late.
First of all, there is no such thing as “semi abusive”. He IS abusive and you definitely need to get you and your kids out of that environment. There should resources available locally that you can reach out to and receive help. Please do whatever it takes, abuse only escalates as time goes on.
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Look, I’m just going to be blunt if he has been to counselling and still hasn’t changed he never will. You sound like you know what you need to do and there are lots of services that can help you and your children. Nobody is judging you but get out of there before you are another statistic
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Find a domestic violence support group and attend. They’ll help you put today safety plan to get you out of there safely. Good luck!
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I hope you have a mom to go to, or a sister or someone.
I grew up in a abusive household and I hated my dad for it, I resented my mom for not leaving him sooner, although she did when I was 15 and it was like a breath of fresh air.
Don’t be scare, plan something and do it.
Then go back for half or more plus child support.
And if you can ride the alimony horse do it as well.
Take his ass to court, men like him will abuse you until the day you die if you don’t put a stop.
Call your local dv shelter. Get a safety plan. Only you know when it’s safe to leave, and how. They understand that. I work for a dv, sa, and trafficking shelter. We don’t tell ypu what to do. We offer help. Like many should. There are options. PM me if you would like to chat
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This isn’t even a question. You have already said everything that need be said on the topic. It’s affecting your kids. Get out. Now.
And he isn’t “semi abusive” there’s no such thing as semi abusive. He’s abusive and uses HIS anger as an excuse. He made the CHOICE to abuse you and now your children have seen it. What happens if your son does something terrible to one of his sisters cause “dad did it to mom” no! Get out now.
My father was physically abusive to my mother and I ended up in a relationship with someone just like my father and I thought it was normal. Give your children a chance. Please.
Be safe. Make a run for it with the children and don’t ever look back. Praying for you.
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Hmm does he have a life insurance policy? Watch more Dateline.
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Find a local domestic violence shelter and go there. They’ll help you with the rest
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LEAVE! You staying is teaching your kids that abuse is okay. Please find a battered mom home to go. They will help you.
First things first find someone to stay with tell them about your situation and what happening and why you and your kids need to stay. Second; get a protection order for this you’ll need evidence texts voice mails anything you can use to get that order. Third; file for divorce and custody of your three kids and include your protection order in the divorce again you’ll need proof he’s a danger to your children to get full custody of them because it’s hard to get full, they’ll make you go to mediation and all that. I’ve been through it and it’s the steps I took but first things first you need to get out of there pack up nonchalantly say your storing clothes away and once you have the basic needs move quick while he’s away at work.
Leave now.
Get a job in the school system
Janitors or lunchroom. And add bus driving to it.
You’ll be off when the kids are and they can, etc…
You can have your paycheck divided up over 12 months instead of 10
Get Foodstamps, etc,
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Quit making up stories to protect him. You aren’t fooling anyone.
Sounds just like my dad. I wish my mum left, I’m still messed up over it. It’s taken me years to learn that that wasn’t love. And tbh I’m sort of mad at her for putting up with it and teaching her daughter that this is how men show “love”.
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I am willing to help any person that are stuck in a domestic violence situation.
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First of all stop covering for him regarding holes in the walls. Contact your nearest women’s shelter they will help you and the kids to develop a safety plan. Wait until he is out, pack yours and the kids stuff and go to the nearest shelter.
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Honey, get out. I was there, once and promise you, you will give them more struggles if you stay.
Contact your local domestic violence program and use that program to get on your own.
Its scary and feels daunting, but remaining stuck in the familiarity has much more menacing consequences. 
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Go to a shelter immediately. There are women’s battered shelters they will help you get on your feet. If you need to talk please reach out and I can help you find resources.
You definitely need to get your kids and yourself out of that toxic situation before it gets worse. I have a friend who married her high-school sweet heart and was together until she hit her 30s. He was physically and mentally abusive to her so much to the point that he shot at her and barely missed her. They had two kids together a girl and boy. They lived with us for awhile and I remember the boy always punching his sister when he got mad. Fast forward to now and he is almost 21 and in a relationship for I’d say a year or so now and they have a baby who is 10 months old and they fight constantly and I found out he has been talking to her the way his dad always talked to my friend and im sure he puts his hands on her behind closed doors. They grew up seeing their dad behave the way he did and now the son acts just like him 
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LEAVE NOW!!!
Cautiously Google woman’s resource centers there are some in each city and or a woman’s shelter. They’ll keep your identity confidential just in case….
Best of luck
It is hard to explain to older kids why you didn’t leave sooner. Talk to churches, assistance programs ahead of time and get all the help/support you can get Praying for you!!! Private message me if you need to talk. I’m not even sure how I did it now, but it’s a lot of reaching out for help
OK sweetie 1st off I wan to start by saying there is no such thing as semi abusive Even if he abused you once or twice or 9 or 10 It’s still considered abuse and it will never go away I know you’re in a tough spot but there is help out there please don’t let this go on any longer your kids are picking up that’s the way you’re to be treated as an adult Stand your grounds and look for help There are plenty of abusive centers that are willing to help Please do not let your children get any older And think that this is OK You are a grown woman and you know it’s wrong to stay in that relationship So no butts or ifs Just do the right thing and seek help trust and believe me get out before anything worse happens this happened to me I did get out and now I’m so happy God-bless you and your little family may he always watch over you all good good luck
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