No judgment towards her, just show that you’re concerned for her safety and you guys need to have open communication with no judgment, as well as with her friends parents. Be understanding and gracious. There’s a reason why she felt she had to lie. She needs a safe space with you guys. I definitely lied as a teen and pretty much all of em do if they’re afraid of consequences and judgment. 
good luck. I can only imagine these days in the future for me:sweat_smile:
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Give your poor daughter a break for Christ sakes because it will wind up backfiring on you guys
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I Always told my kids they would get in more trouble for lying than anything they did. I also let them know I need the truth if they need my help… As far as calling them on their phones, I let them know, it’s not always about them. Something could be going on with the family that they need to know. So pick up the phone if I call you.I’m not stalking you. Just need to know incase of an emergency. It worked out for me.
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I definitely thinki need to know her she before giving advice, if she’s like 17 that makes it way different than if she were 14
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Why did you set it up where she felt she had to lie to you?
And I’d be questioning this kid as to why he thinks tattling now that it’s over is okay. He needs to leave my kid alone. He clearly didn’t get the response from her he wanted so he came to you to force her to talk to him. I’d be talking to my baby about if she feels she is in danger not harping on her
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Sounds like she has been dating a narcissistic person… I would seek therapy and counseling to help her deal with that and be gentle
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How old is she? And if you shut her down, you will only make her sneakier at this point.
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Tell her that you really want to trust her and that you’re sorry that she felt the need to lie. Offer her birth control AND condoms. Talk to her about things she needs to know that kids often don’t know like don’t use two condoms, antibiotics causes bc to not work, etc. I don’t know if I’d ground her really because I don’t know if that’s something that would even help the situation. Obviously age matters though. If she’s like 12 then yeah… she’d be in trouble but I figured she’s at least 15.
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This post made me so angry. So what if she did that stuff! You showed your daughter that the dude’s word was more important than hers.
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Your daughter is in 2 toxic relationships, first one is with yous. Communication is key 
especially for parents and their children.
If she’s doing this to you now can only imagine what she’ll get like down the line.
Second her ex and for that, She sounds like she’s at the typical Love stage everyone goes through… she’s not going to stop seeing this ex of hers anytime soon by the sounds of things.
Let her know that no matter what you’re always there for her and if ever need to call or text. Be there for your child talk to them not the world.
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When my daughter started dating it was me who had to make decisions and not lie to myself. She was going to do all the things I did when I was her age but i wanted her to be safe so i had to wake up. She is 17. I don’t want her to be in unsafe places if I can help it.
He gets to stay over, she can stay there. I’ve met his family and been to their house. His mum has been here. I drive them to everything and pick them up. I sometimes wish it wasn’t happening yet but wishing won’t make it not happen. We have a great relationship and her boyfriend is lovely and respectful. Because they are around I get to advise on their communication etc.
Study and school are so important and they understand that.
And don’t give that ex another second of your time. He’s sour.
This is just my way of dealing with it.
Good luck with yours.
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Sit down and talk to her. Her ex is such a loser to rat her out. The fact that she’s sneaking says a lot about your relationship and high expectations. Have a heart to heart you and her. Talk honestly and not everything is by the book. There’s a reason she’s doing all of this and I’m so happy that at her young age she left her controlling ex. I mean, he was lying to you too. He was only telling you to hurt her further. I hope you didn’t thank that loser.
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Her boyfriend is exhibiting the traits of a toxic narcissist. I think you made a HUGE mistake listening to him at all, even 1 word. You have neglected to include the age of your daughter so giving any advice at all is very tricky if not impossible. If she is a young child, she shouldn’t be having “boyfriends” If she is over 16? Then you should mind your own business. At any rate it is totally WRONG to punish her for any information that came from that mentally ill boyfriend she had. Narcissists commit themselves to destroying their target. In this case your daughter. You unfortunately have placed yourself squarely in his side of the court… destroying the relationship and trust of your child. Sounds like you guys need more help than he does. I suggest you see a decent therapist. That is you and your husband.
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First of all, Birth control!!
Then, just add a “find my phone” app or some sort of tracking. We have it on all of our kids’ phones. It’s just to keep them safe. I don’t regularly keep tabs on my kids but I like knowing I can find them if an emergency arises. Even my 21 year old shares her location so she feels a little more protected living on her own.
As far as the lying…grounded is normal. She shouldn’t have lied, but it’s typical teenage stuff, don’t take it personal. If you want her to be more open about where she’s going and who she’s with, let her know you’re okay with her having a personal life, but knowing where she is is important to keeping them safe.
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Teenagers are going to do whatever they want, you can’t control them as much as you want to. You need to work building the trust with your daughter not punishing her this harshly. Being sexually active, depending on the age, is normal for an older teenager and not necessarily cause for concern as long as you’ve taught her how to protect herself. If that’s what she wants to do, she’ll do it regardless. Coming from someone who had strict religious parents and I was a fairly good kid who followed most of the rules, I still had to hide things I knew they wouldn’t be okay with because they had unrealistic expectations. You’ll just make her an expert at hiding things from you🤷🏼♀️ build trust by spending time together, doing something you both enjoy or that you know SHE enjoys. The more time you spend together, the more accepting and loving you show her you are the more trust you will build with each other. She will be more willing to share things and be open if she knows that she isn’t always going to get in trouble for everything.
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So glad she broke up with that douche bag. And still he controlling her life. Your letting him. Block him from your life also. I’d have told him to kick rocks. Because more than likely he talked her into it. Way to go for letting him continue to hurt her and get to her. I’d be getting a restraining order. And teaching your little girl to protect herself. You just opened a can of worms with that guy.
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She’s hiding stuff from you for a reason and doesn’t feel she can trust you. You’re the parent and adult
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My phone alllows me to block people–try that out.
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The line between being a parent that is too restrictive vs a parent who is too lax (more like a friend) is a VERY fine line. I had a wonderful childhood, but I went thru a few years of being a rebellious teenager and did pretty much everything you mentioned your daughter did… plus sneak out at night. When my parents caught me, they tried to take my phone ground me for longer than I (at age 14) thought okay… so I left. I ran away. And stuff got much worse from there. The more strict a parent tries to be… USUALLY the more a child will lie and rebel. I would tell your daughter that if she wants to be spending time with her bf, she needs to be honest. I personally would much rather know where my daughter is, even if its with a bf, rather than her lie and possibly need my help but not ask for it cause she is scared of getting in trouble. Honestly, her ex ratting her out like that has probably been enough of a consequence to be honest. I’m sure she feels embarrassed and betrayed. Just talk with her and come up with a game plan you both agree on. Meet in the middle. Compromise.
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She isfortunate someone told on her as she could have been in service Remember do not kill the messanger.
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She obviously doesn’t feel comfortable enough to be honest . I would say take a step back and think about how much trust there was in the first place .
And how you all can truly have open communication .
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Spend more time together. Let her know you love her no matter what and if she’s ever in any type of trouble that she should come to y’all and you won’t punish her for it. I think this could be solved with a bit of love and talking tbh
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Sounds like a sneaky Teenager " & going to be hard to trust her again "he dobbed her inn cause she broke up with him " & now doing it with a new guy " and the more you try to control her the more she will fight you " really don’t know how you can fix this " but lieing to you is just wrong "
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My parents did similar with me about my (now ex) boyfriend when I was 15.
Because of their choices, they didn’t know I was pregnant (at 17) until 3 days before I had my daughter.
I’m 20 now, and while they are very involved in my daughter’s life, I will never fully trust my mother again due to her behavior and choices when I was a teenager.
I was lying and hiding information because I was scared of their reaction - and when they found out, the punishment and shaming I received proved my fear to be rational. I lied more in the 8 months that followed them finding out than I had my entire life before then and put myself in MANY extremely dangerous situations that in retrospect I"m not sure how I survived just to prove that they couldn’t control me.
You’re asking how you can learn to trust her again, when really you need to be focused on helping her learn to trust you.
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How old is the daughter?
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That’s all normal teenage behavior. It’s the parents who have to be more vigilant. Teenagers are impulsive and reckless. They lie, and they are sneaky. It’s reality.
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As a teenager that was exactly the same I’d said maybe she doesn’t feel comfortable telling you what she’s really doing because you’re not allowing her to do the things she wants to do teenagers will do what they want no matter what you do so my advice would be be more open with her and allow these things because they will obviously keep happening so it’s better if you atleats know about what she’s doing and you can offer help and give her good advice instead of her lying to you and putting herself in dangerous situations.
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Find out why she lied in the first place. Give her a safe place to talk freely about how she feels without judgement or consequences. Building trust takes time so just be patient and trust the process. Tell her how hurt you feel and how her actions impacted you.
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What did you do as a teenager?
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Life360 app for your phone shows where she is
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You’re letting her ex still contol her life I’d say you need to work on her trusting you. The ex needs gone. This is all your fault
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It sounds like there was no trust between you and your daughter to begin with, otherwise she wouldn’t have lied to you. As a parent it is your job to guide her and help her make good choices, not to control her.
Would you have been okay with it if she had asked you or told you where she was really going? It doesn’t sound like it, and the lying is very probably your fault for being restrictive and controlling.
If your daughter wants to be sexually active, you can’t stop her. But you CAN encourage that she is safe about it.
Our children are safer when we know what they’re really doing and where they really are, and you have to accept that you’re not going to approve of all the choices she makes, but being there and being supportive regardless is the only way she is going to trust you or be comfortable enough to tell you the truth.
Strict parents do not result in obedient children, it results in sneaky ones who would sooner shut you out of their life than be honest with you.
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I would start back gaining her trust and to do that you can’t be controlling her movements and making sure she isn’t allowed out anywhere.
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Teenager do this and especcially of they dont feel like they can talk with you.
How are you handling it when she has a Boyfriend?
Start with asking her why she lies and doesnt just tell you when she goes to him?
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As a teenager who snuck to do anything. I can promise you that even with grounding her or punishment if she wants to have sex then she will and also it may be worse than that next time… She may get pregnant and not feel comfortable with even telling you about it. Teenagers needs someone they can confide in not someone to jump down their throats for doing something wrong. Yes, be the parent but also be a listener and not always a punisher.
Welcome to parenthood of a teen-ager 
they put pillow,s in the bed and sneak out the window too good luck
She might not feel comfortable with y’all to let y’all know what’s going on. And I’d feel it as a stab in the back of my ex and parents were teaming up against me. Your reason for being mad is valid, but maybe her ex coming to y’all was more of an eye opener for you to open a line of communication with her where she feels comfortable instead of targeted.
So she is going to be sexually active. Instead of being against it put her on the pill and buy her condoms. And teach her about safe sex. The sneaking out part, that I have never dealt with.
So he uses manipulative tactics to effect her life ever more so and you fall for it? I wouldn’t trust you either your poor babe.
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He did this to intentionally cause damage to her in some way or another. Teenagers need to be able to make decisions on their own so they can learn (with boundaries of course). I wouldn’t suggest smothering her as means of punishment. I think a deep conversation taking the place of punishment would be better. It would open lines of communication, and hopefully a situation like this won’t occur in the future. She needs to know she has a safe space, and she can trust her Parents❤. That’s just my opinion though.
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Kaisha McManis As the mother of 4 sons and no daughters I would want to know if my son behaved like that. I would print out all the texts and give them to his parents. I would tell them that neither one of those kids is a bad kid, they just made bad choices and this should be put in the past, but you’ll take legal action if he continues any harassment. And I still don’t know how old these kids are…age does matter here.
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While I would tell her what she was doing was wrong, I would try to build a trusting relationship between the two of you. I guarantee she will need your advice at some point. Set boundaries. Kids need to know you care about them and their safety.
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You should probably quit conspiring with her ex to figure out what she’s doing. That’s just a starting point.
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Girl, wtf is up with her ex? He sounds crazy. Protect your daughter. Put his little ass in place
I would be more concerned about the ex contacting you and trying to drive a wedge in your family which is exactly what he has done. What you don’t know won’t hurt you and you didn’t know until that fuckwit opened his mouth and caused trouble.
Instead of punishing your daughter for the ex causing trouble ( which he took part in also being dishonest with you guys too by hanging out with her instead of letting her be with friends) I would have open and honest conversations with her about healthy relationships which start at home and how trusting so freely with others can come back to bite her.
Essentially you have taken the ex’s side and punished her for something that happened in the past. I would be fuming for taking his side and as a teenager, that’s more than likely how she would feel.
Don’t be naive or ignorant about what teenagers do or think your child won’t be one to do those things because it’s part of the process of growing and with growth comes lessons and you guys as parents are there to guide and nurture not punish and lock down. Your daughter is growing up and learning lessons, give her room to learn these mistakes now but guide her to make the better decision next time. Respect is a two way street, in order to gain it, you have to give it.
Good luck, I’m hoping my advice sticks for me when mine are teenagers
For starters, take your daughter’s side. Yes she did betray your trust! But, u found out via her ex boyfriend who was trying to cause trouble for her and hurt her. If she was ever going to confide in u about what she had done he stole that away from her and made it worse by coming from him as a nasty revenge to get back at her. Msg her boyfriend and tell him to stay away from your daughter. Also tell him how dare he break your daughter confidentiality during their relationship. Turn it back on him and make him feel that by telling u these things he’s made himself look like a salty loser!
Then, talk with your daughter and tell her she has no reason to lie and she can tell u anything. Tell her that she should have come to u about anything she was dealing with because u could have helped her and there is no better protection or love like a parents for their child.
Teach her that SHE comes first no matter the situation!
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It’s normal teenage behavior. You were young once. My advice is get her birth control and talk to her about safe sex. Explain that she can’t run around like she has before. Make sure she knows education comes first above everything else. Don’t try to keep a reign because she may rebell then you will lose her. I’ve had to do that myself with my daughter. And it’s worked out. I allowed her to be a young adult. And in return she stayed in school. Has her master’s and working on PhD. And no children yet
Only time will tell whether or not you’ll be able to trust her again. She’s going to have to work at earning it. Regardless, I would put her on birth control asap, unless you want a grandchild. Try counseling. She needs to know you have rules because you care. Good Luck.
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The focus needs to be on this boys behavior. What your daughter did is normal teenage stuff what he is doing is not okay. Print out screen shots get his parents involved and if continues I would also involve the authorities
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And this is how women are taught at at young ages to stay with abusive partners. You’re literally going after her because of her ex boyfriends harassment. It’ll make her feel isolated and like she has to keep the guy happy so they can’t go against her. You’re her parents, you should be ignoring him and focusing on the harassment she’s facing. Kids make mistakes, go figure.
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Soo… You let the ex get the result he wanted? Now you can’t trust her? I would say she will never trust you. You handled this in a way that she will now try to hide everything from you.
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Dumbass. You pretty much fell for the exs plan there.
Okay, there’s a few things…
Big factor is her exact age. If my 21 or 17yr old did these things, it would be a big deferential vs a 14 or15 yr old doing them.
Second, he’s wrong for airing her laundry out of bitterness and I would not give him the time of day. He didn’t care about her sneaking when it was with him!
I’d be ensuring she was on birth control. Then there’d be the talk about sneaking. We have life 360 and extremely clear cut rules for this reason. A loved one was once assulted for being in a situation she said she was not going to be in. It happens and we a parents have to do our best to keep them safe. It sucks HOW you find out, but now you both can move forward
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The fact that y’all are punishing her over conversations with her ex is gross. If she did those things it’s done. Let it die. Just like your communication with her ex should die. It will stunt her in the future.
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You just made yourselfs and your daughter victim of abuse. You tell your daughter she is loved and tell her too please please come too you for anything and everything.
I bet this boyfriend held a lot of things against her too do what he wanted her too do and now he just turned it around on her…
This is a hard life lesson but tell her had she been honest you could have made sure she was safe sooner and she wouldn’t have to go through this alone
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How old is your daughter? Can she be honest with you? Remember, if she’s a teenager, they make stupid mistakes, it’s Parr of being that age. I would make sure she’s on the pill & having safe sex! Try to open the lines of communication. Make sure you & dad don’t gang up on her
She confessed and told you things that he didn’t even tell you. Right there, is a sign you can start to trust her again. Who knows how much he manipulated her while they were together considering this is what he’s doing to her after they broke up! Seems like the only time she lied was when it was involving him… and he’s now out of the picture!
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That is a type of domestic abuse. Don’t let him manipulate. U fell for it! Let his parents know they r having sex too. See how he likes it. She’s probably probably dirt on him as well. She’s She’s teen eventually they will have sex. It’s time to get on som birth control .
I’d be more concerned about her trust in men and future partners. The ex sounds like he is on track to be an absolute abuser.
She sounds perfectly trust worthy to me and needs her families support not criticism.
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He sounds super controlling and manipulative and just wanted to get back at her. So really he could have been pressuring her to sneak out and made her feel like she had to. Instead of punishing her I’d be supporting her and talking to her about trust and also toxic realationships and keeping the ex away from her
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Well shit, she might as well run away:woozy_face:
sound like y’all not parenting well
That’s her responsibility… let her know that
I wouldn’t wait until he harasses her again. Contact his parents and get a no contact order. What he is doing is NOT okay. Why does she need to lie to spend time with her boyfriend? It’s not okay that she lied but at the same time she shouldn’t have felt the need to.
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Why not keep your nose OUT of her business!!!
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I see why the trust is broken. I think it’s could you asked her and she confessed the truth. I think she needs to start telling you where she is going and when and with who and being honest about it. If she’s going to see her boyfriend tell you guys. You know she’s sexually active now so ask her if she has been using protection, talk about birth controls and sti’s and where to get tested.
Like above, truly depends on her age.
Hopefully you guys can be more open with each other so she doesn’t feel the need to lie. Such a safety concern not knowing where your kids are. I hope to keep that level of communication open not saying let them do whatever they want just so they tell you but they need to understand how dangerous things can be when you don’t know the truth.
I’m glad you guys have already thought of what to do with his harassment. That is nuts. I’m assuming it’s a teenage boy too. I hope it involved cops and his parents
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I get what some ppl are saying in here as far as the ex but I don’t think obsolving here of all responsibility is right either. She’s been lying and sneaking around for some time and that shouldn’t just get swept under the rug. I would prob try and find out why she felt the need to lie in the first place.
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Ignore the ex. That’s breaking her trust with you, you are her parents. What she did was wrong but it’s not the end of the world. There are worse things she could have been off doing. Start by being open and creating that open relationship with her. She didn’t tell you for a reason.
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How about just talking to her. Also the ex should have never been entertained by her father. You just gave him what he wanted and now she can’t trust you. Good job
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She has to be able to trust you guys to be honest with you… it goes both ways. If you restrict and control she will only find ways to be sneakier. Stop criticizing and start listening to understand. We were all teens at one point, we know how this goes. Teach her how to be safe and support her and tell her you hope she makes the right decisions. We all fail and make the wrong decisions but learning from them would be easier if you weren’t criticized about them the whole time. She is going to have to start making her own decisions and deal w the consequences. Give her the trust and give her the confidence to make the right ones without it being behind your back. Not only will she not feel she has to sneak around but it kind of makes things like sneaking out and partying not that fun. Give her a safe space to spend w her significant other and a safe space to tell you guys things and ask for help. Restricting only makes them want to do those things more.
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Umm. Let her breathe. Your just pushing her away
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Communication- honest, open, using “active listening “ skills. Remember to Momma you were young - but times are way different and dangerous. Remind her that your purpose is Not to let her live her life - but to help make it safe and help prevent mistakes that can make her life harder. Let her know you are a woman too and understand the urges but not being impulsive to them. -
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The ex just exacted his revenge…be aware now but we all have lots of things we didn’t tell mom n dad…just have a heart to heart about honesty…and also be prepared to swallow that honesty and to also allow her to make her decisions…by standing by her…ur reaction sets the way she deals with what she tells u from this point on…don’t stress what she did over doing it will make her continue to keep things from u…oh yeah glad they are not an item anymore clearly his loyalty is non existent especially cause he probably manipulated her to lie and sneak around
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So you just again gave him the feeling of power and control over her her life and her happiness and well being… wow also how do you regain her trust she is your daughter and you just allowed her ex to manipulate and control your home…
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Sounds like me. Make sure she’s using birth control and safe sex preventing unwanted problems. You couldn’t change me then and that’s the direction I went.
She’s just going to sneak out
The ex boyfriend had no problems running to her parents to rat her out in an attempt to get her in trouble, I say take all these msgs to his parents now so everyone is on the same page.
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So you let the ex get exactly what he wanted. The better question is how is your daughter ever going
To trust YOU again
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So you’re going to punish your daughter over her toxic ex that’s still getting his way with her? Nah
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First off thats what all kids do and stricter parents make sneaker skids
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Well the ex wants you to punish her that’s for sure.
Your feeling are hurt because of your expectations.
So you going to give tough love… Where is she going to turn to?
I presume others.
If it trust you want, you have to know what you are asking for and not demand.
Been through this with my only daughter and I left the communication open.
I am here for you if you need me to hear 
you not judge you or threaten you because pass errors are a lesson both ways, but listen .
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I hope you put her on birth control. The trust won’t be back once it’s broke. But if you don’t get her on bc you’ll be Grandparents.
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I think what needs to be adressed is why your daughter didn’t feel 100% confident and supported that she could be honest. Lies and hiding information is a huge sign of a breakdown in the parent child relationship… fix that first because a child that doesn’t trust their parents with the things they are doing has no guidance in the choices they are making.
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You’re worried about you trusting her? I’d be more concerned on why she doesn’t trust you and finds it necessary to hide her life from you.
It might start that you’re listening to her EX, who’s only intentions are to hurt her. This guy kept quiet while he was here getting what he wanted.
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Her
Ex
Is
Stalking
Her
Jesus. So what, she will get up to stuff. She will make mistakes it’s her life.
But damn don’t punish her for it and saying she’s lost your trust?
She needs support. Once she feels this, she will stop hiding where she is going. She will communicate openly with you.
Her ex is trash. She has to be able to trust you to tell you things it goes both ways. How old is she?
Honestly I would just have a talk to her about how important it is for you to know where she really is, for her safety if she needs you to come get her or if there’s some sort of emergency so you can contact her, don’t punish her over an ex being a rat just talk to her about it
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From my own experience, the stricter my parents were, the more I wanted to rebel. Go to the exboyfriends parents and talk to them. Take away what you think is best, but don’t push her away. Let her know she can be honest with you. I couldn’t be with mine in fear of getting screamed at. You don’t want her to fear you, you need her to trust you.
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How old is she?
Super strict parents create sneaky children.
Cut her some slack & she’ll communicate better with you.
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As a parent you should take a step back and consider all of the reasons why she felt the need to lie to you. Sometimes realizing our children don’t trust us enough to confide in us is a harsh reality we have to face.
We are very open with our kids. We want them to always be able to come to us. We want our home to be their hang out spot with their friends. And so we treat them like we would want to be treated. We’re honest with them about everything and when we mess up we sincerely apologize just like we ask them to. Some people call it being a “friend” instead of a parent but we don’t see what’s wrong with it. Our kids are decent with good grades, they are respectful and understanding. We hardly ever have issues. And IF there’s an issue they do have co sequences and restrictions like any other kid. But if they aren’t needing to be disciplined why can’t we treat them as “friends” (I mean bummy friends since I pay their bills and feed them and they don’t work 
but friends!)?
So again just try and take a step back and figure out why she didn’t come to you truthfully in the first place? Step into her shoes.
I don’t think punishing her or even restricting/grounding her is effective in this moment. She’s being punished in the way of her ex getting exactly what he wants; a ruse out of you. I think you should consider being there for her emotionally right now. Yes it was wrong for her to lie but it was wrong for him to violate her too. She needs comfort from her parents right now, not stern glares.
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If you want trust restored then you need to talk to your daughter about how toxic that man was and red flags so that she doesn’t fall victim to that again. You didn’t have your trust before and you need to earn it as opposed to the other way around.
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Sometimes as parents we need to think back when we were teenagers and what we got up to. I lied to my parents about where I was so I could see a boy. I told them I was somewhere else when I wasn’t. It’s all a part of growing up. And at the time you don’t see the danger or think about the consequences. It’s only as an adult you think "OMG, how did I get away with that. " When my girls got up to mischief, I would reflect back and remember that I was a bit of a rat bag. I tried not to be too judgemental but would have conversations about behaviours, impacts on others, consequences and what they could have done differently. I now have a strong and healthy relationship with my adult children. I only wished my parents had the same conversations with me. But of course a different generation, with different attitudes.
As for the ex boyfriend, don’t let him put a wedge between you and your daughter. In 2 months you will be saying “who was that boy?” but your relationship with your daughter is forever. Made it a strong one now .
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Thats what kids do at that age I wouldn’t take it so much as to not trust her shes young thats what they do if you are to strict shes jus going to rebel and push further away
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Her ex boyfriend just got EXACTLY what he wanted. You dont like he harasses your daughter but she is in all sorts of trouble and getting back lash for what he has told you, you’re letting him win, period… Now please call HIS mom & let her know he’s texting you inappropriately and that hes been sexually active. Also, Instant grounding instead of open communication and dialog with your daughter? He was probably so controlling & is still finding a way to control her. Yikes!
25 Likes
I wouldn’t punish her to much, the more you try to control and punish, the more she will lie and retaliate and the relationship between parents and child will diminish. Teens these days are bound to be sexually active, I’m 25 and was at 14. Just speak to her on how to be SAFE, and give yourself to someone WORTHY of it…giving your body away is something intimate and you can’t get it back, also educate on STD, HIV, AIDS, AND talk about birth control and condom use! I wouldn’t take her away from her bf…but I would let her know lying is wrong. It’s better you know if she wants to spend time with her bf than not know where she is JUST in case she needed to be picked up or was in an intense uncomfortable situation so it’s not so awkward 
4 Likes
You need to take her to an OBGYN. and get her on birth control and have a talk about the issues. Second be thankful she did not get pregnant by that Rat of an Ex boyfriend.
4 Likes
I’d be more worried about WHY SHE DOESNT TRUST YOU!!!
15 Likes
Strict parents create sneaky children. I can speak from personal experience.
23 Likes
So she breaks up with him and you believe everything he has to say … really
Just talk to her … … what does trust have to do with it … all kids will do what she did … maybe she did or she didn’t … but I would talk to her … maybe give her some space and time to grow
11 Likes
Cut her some slack… ur clearly dealing with a very toxic individual who probably brainwashed the shit out of her. Prayers through a healing process!