How to get my husband to dress up for our ceremony?

My husband wore his military dress blues for his first wedding and for ours his wanting to wear a pair of pants and a day to day jacket.

And we are actually having a wedding ceremony we’re he didn’t the first time round.
I asked him to wear something a little more formal even just a nice shirt and pants and I’m happy to pay half’s with him but he absolutely refuses. My dress is a ballroom style dress and the Venus is stunning.
I don’t know what to do to get him
To dresses even a little nicer for me he doesn’t have to wear his uniform I wouldn’t want that but just a black jacket and jeans would be nice
I don’t know how to address this anymore then what i have at this point

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to get my husband to dress up for our ceremony?

Go bridezilla on him😂 But seriously you should tell him straight how you feel. Although isnt day to day pants a little more nicer than jeans?

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I mean if he can wear a whole uniform the first time around how hard can it be to put a suit on the second time? Why bother if you don’t want to put any effort in!

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So let me get this straight you want him to confirm to something he’s not comfortable with. First sign your not compatible for each other. You can’t go about your ways only. Your setting yourself up for failure

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I always wanted the big wedding with lots of people, beautiful dress, and for my husband to wear a handsome suit … I ended up getting married at the courthouse with a justice of the peace with both of us in blue jeans & I had on a beautiful white blouse and he had on a white button down. 11 years later i still don’t regret it because it was very intimate with us & my parents with a small reception afterwards! Do it small, dress casually, and save that money for the honeymoon girl!

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It’s his wedding too. Don’t be selfish. How would you feel if he told you not to wear your dress? Tell him how you feel, but don’t expect him to change.

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I’m sorry, but let the man wear what he wants, a wedding is the biggest waste of money, and if you arguing now, double the cost, that is how much the divorce will cost.
Just keep it real, and happy

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Tell him to grow up! :rage:

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What’s his deal? How hard is it to wear something nice? Something else is going on here

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Just let him wear his jeans and jacket. You will look back one day and love the memory.

Omg i would be livid :sob:
Tell him what the hell… It doesnt go. Its gotta flow together nicely, doesnt he care what the photos will look like? Bribe him if you must… Tell him why is he trying to ruin everything… Today is your princess day and you need your handsome prince

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Buy him a nice jacket for a wedding gift?

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I would just like to say, sometimes a pair of nice jeans, white button up… not buttoned all the way with a sport coat/blazer is absolutely the most attractive thing a man could wear. Just my opinion. I would simply ask him if he would do that much, but if not and I loved him… I wouldn’t make a deal about it. I would also say not to compare any aspect of your current issue to any of his past relationships…they are just that, the past. Yours are as well. Nothing good comes from that. It isn’t a healthy way to think or live.

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If my fiance completely disregarded my feelings there would be no wedding. I got his opinion on style of dress he would like on me which I went with when choosing my dress and I gave him a few options on what I’d really love to see him in as it’s not everyday if ever again I’d see him so dressed up.

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I dont think you two would be compatible. If he cant even dress up nice to make you happy theres a lot he wont be doing later on.He has utter disregard for your feelings and this marriage doesnt mean much to him

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Dont marry him. Find a man that wants to please you. Especially on your wedding day.

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Doesn’t sound like he wants to get married…. :confused:

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It’s amusing the amount of opinions who are stating they’re not good for each other or he’s in the wrong. It’s his day too. Relationships are about compromise. If he doesn’t want to dress up, she should take his feelings into account just as much as you all expect him to account for hers.

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Hate to tell you but he won’t improve with age!

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Is the outfit really a big deal? If he wanted you wear a dress you weren’t comfortable in would you oblige? If you got to the pick the dress you wanted without him telling you which to pick you should let him wear what he’s comfortable in. This is just the beginning of compromising.

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It’s his wedding too. Do your part your way, and leave his part alone. Weddings should express the couple TOGETHER. I can see asking him to wear certain colors, but I think that’s about all you can ask on his outfit.

My husband is going to wear traditional celtic pagan robes, because his first 2 weddings he didn’t get ANY say. It breaks my heart to hear him talk about. You don’t want to do that to him if you really love him.

I mean, it’s his day as well…and you should understand that.

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Show him the dress go get your hair done and do your makeup and walk out in your dress and flat out say get on my level!!! Then tell him "I want you to rock being my hubby the same way I’m gonna rock being your wife! Lol let’s show these haters we got style… Okay okay maybe not THE dress but find one similar for much cheaper in a thrift store or something… Or he’ll tell him you want to go look for a second option dress and go try some.other dresses on

While it’s both your days and you want it a certain way to be special and semi dressed in the long run if you are happily in love it should be special no matter what he wears and it’s his day too.

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Gotta love all the man haters in these groups lol. If you are as shallow as they are and you would let clothing determine your happiness versus the man that offered to share his life with you, you should do him a favor and take their advice. Otherwise humble yourself and marry the man you love instead of the outfit you like.

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What does he want to wear?

If its important to you it should be to him. You shouldnt have to beg. Maybe rethink marrying him?!

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Are you marring the right man if he can’t even dress up for you?

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So it states he’s been married before… from experience… when you haven’t been married before …as I’m assuming he will be your first husband as its " all about you attitude " you look at things as if it has to be perfect. Honey snap out of it. You are seriously going to let the fact he is part of this wedding and is chosen his own attire as you have yours, since I’m pretty sure he didn’t go dress shopping and throw a hissy fit to make you wear the gorgeous dress that you love… nothing is perfect. Realize this IS his wedding too… and being married the second time around is not as exciting as the first. You have all these thoughts come flooding back (some people do) about why am I doing this? The first one didn’t last what am I doing? So instead of throwing a fit, how about let him be comfortable? Noone likes a bridezilla

I mean honestly what ever is comfy to him then let him wear it. I refused to wear heels so I wore converse, I’ve seen people change mid reception, Ive see people wear everyday clothes. I mean at the end of the day who cares honestly. You two are happy and you’re getting married. That’s what matters

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Ask him to meet you halfway and you both compromise a little. Let him have a say, it’s all fine and well for you to have your opinion but you gotta let your man have his opinion as well. Ask him to go shopping together? You pick a few stores to look at and he can choose the outfit, just a thought

I know something you can do to change his mind… :thinking: or… just let him be comfortable and himself, it’s his day too. Not worth fighting over, someday you’ll laugh about it, congrats!

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Idk compromise.
His feelings matter do, it’s his day
In the long run does an outfit really matter?

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Does the venue have any kind of dress code?

My husband wore jeans, cowboy boots, and a western shirt, cowboy hat. He forgot to take his sunglasses off, and 32 years later, I still remind him that he wore his sunglasses.
I would not have cared what he wore. I dressed for me and what I wanted, and he dressed in his comfort level. All the people there didn’t care,
Is it really a place you want to draw a line in the sand. Learn to pick your battles and learn to compromise. Best wishes to you

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I’d talk to him and tell him I know it’s your second wedding but it’s my first and I’m feeling like it means less to you then the last. It would mean alot to me if you would dress up a little too.

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The way I look at it is as long as he is standing there with the preacher and looks good why worry about it. Be glad ur getting married to the Man U love and he loves u….

I think he should dress up if he did in his first he should in his second. My husband said whatever you want, he wore his military blues. Yeah, it’s his day too but my opinion, it’s a kinda red flag if he doesn’t met the same dress standard as his first wedding just my opinion. I would feel second best. Just saying.

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Remind him how stupid he will feel being so underdressed and everyone is the finest attire.

It sounds like your comparing to his last wedding. Maybe he was pressured into his uniform for that. He has to be comfy too and its his wedding too. Clothing doesn’t matter, your marrying the man not what he has on his back. Don’t try change him, your marrying him for love.Maybe he feels he can be himself. Weddings can be to formal, aslong as he’s there on wedding day jobs done.

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Why don’t you just let him wear what he is comfortable in wearing ?

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Get his family and friends to encourage him.

Are you sure he’s not taking the piss because you keep going on about it? Is he close to his mum? Have her make him do it lol.

“Dress up” . . . “jeans would be nice.” :partying_face:

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My husband would not go to my High school proms because he had to wear a tuxedo, When he ask me to Marry him a year later, I told him if he didn’t wear one I wouldn’t Marry him, that was 30 yrs ago, I told him he could change at our Reception into something comfortable right after we got our pictures done, and he did he wore a tee shirt and pair of shorts wear he was comfortable, and I changed into a shirt and pants, mind you I was pregnant with our second child, your fiance should understand your feelings on this, especially if your only asking him to wear a pair of jeans shirt and jacket I think that’s not to much to ask, good luck, I was only able to have my husband for 18yrs he died at the age of 42 eleven yrs ago, l would love to go back to my wedding day, I would have been with him for 33yrs, cherish each other for as long as you can whether married or not.

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Kinda jerky of him not to want to dress up! He is going to look silly and underdressed in pictures forever. I’d say compromise and tell him after the ceremony and pictures he can change into whatever he wants but you deserve a nice memory.

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It is his wedding too. Let him be comfortable. It is not what you wear but what you swear.

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Is this gonna matter in 5 years 5 months. Just let him be himself. My soon to be husband can wear his jammies for all i care. I know its special for you. But its not worth it. Just let him be

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Can you compromise? Jacket for the photos then it’s off and then a nice shirt and jeans?

Don’t marry him. It took me forever to talk my husband into wearing dress pants and a button up shirt.

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It’s not just about you. It’s his wedding day also

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Just remind him how gorgeous he is when he dresses up ,stroke the ego ,want hurt to try :gem::gem: congratulations

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It isn’t supposed to be YOUR day, it’s “OUR” day (for you & him) he deserves to make some choices too & be comfortable :woman_shrugging: marriage is the goal so quit stressing over things that don’t really matter so you can enjoy the day with your husband and friends and family

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I understand wanting him to dress up for the wedding. But maybe he’s not comfortable with it. This isn’t only about you. My now husband won’t wear a suit for anything. For our wedding we did for him and his best man white dress shirts ties jeans and sneakers. They rocked it. Find the middle ground with him and agree on it if possible.

Maybe a pair of nice trendy jeans and a button up for all the guys to wear?? Sounds like maybe he is being rebellious just wondering if he has any say in the planning of the wedding and maybe that’s why he is dead set on wearing what he wants??

Young one - talk to the person who is giving you away and his best man - express your feelings - and ask for their help. You - stop stressing- no matter what it is a very special day focus on that

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He’s an adult and it’s his wedding too. Let him wear what he is comfortable in. Stop comparing your wedding to him with his first wedding.

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Marrying a Marine, Good luck! I say this as gently as I can…because he was married before, don’t make it so much about the wedding itself, but the reception. See if he’ll wear khakis and a button down top. Wanna “dress it up” add some suspenders. Make it more about the two of you becoming one, not the dress, the clothes…it’s a celebration! Focus more on that, than the wedding ceremony and you may just see a shift in his mood. :hugs:

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Buy what you want and leave it out for him :woman_shrugging:t6:

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All the men in my wedding wore jeans, work boots that they already had and a button up. All my girls were given a color and we bought what they were comfortable in. Let everyone be comfortable. It’s not worth stressing out

He doesn’t want to get married

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Why don’t you get him a nice pair of new pants(I’m presuming these are what we call trousers), a nice day jacket and a nice t-shirt or shirt depending what he’s comfortable wearing for him to match the colour theme , he would be mor comfortable and you get him looking smart xx

I wanted to get married in the courthouse, in blue jeans. I had to wear a dress and we got married in a church. In the end the clothes don’t matter. Let him wear what he wants.

Is he dictating what you’re wearing to your wedding? Probably not. Let the man wear what he wants. And if you’re already talking about you will pay for half for what he’s wearing(If he wears what you say)…Yeah that part. Good luck.

Talk to his mom. Lol.

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I let my husband wear jeans and a button up. Just told him to match the color of my dress that was blue. I was 8 months pregnant and we got married on 4th of July, so i wore a blue maternity dress.

Out of respect he should definitely be dressing up for his bride to be. If he dressed up for his first wife he can dress up for her?

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Is this your first wedding? And his second? Tell him to wear what you want

Don’t Do a comparison analysis of first vs second.
Maybe, he wants his 2nd COMPLETELY different than his first. He may not want to mimic ANY part of his first marriage. Let him be. Dress as you are. Let him do his thing.

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Maybe he dosent love u as much as you think…what a simple thing you as of him??? What will the rest of your life be like …think before u get married!!!

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It’s his day too let the man wear what he wants! Would you let someone change what you want to wear to your wedding?

If you don’t know how to speak up about what you want, you shouldn’t be marrying this man. The person you marry is supposed to be your best friend… you tell them everything.

With that being said, a marriage isn’t about the dress, the tux, the wedding or the honeymoon. I’ve been married 3 times. The first two, I was worried about the wrong things. With my now husband, I told him that I would marry him under a bridge, wearing a trash bag. Two days later, we were at the court house. I wore my daughters white graduation dress, he wore black dress pants, a white shirt and sneakers. We got married, went to iHop to get something to eat and I’ve never been happier in my life.

You’re focused on the wrong things!

This seems to be his second marriage, It’s not about the size of the diamond, though many women will disagree, nor it’s about the biggest most expensive gown we wear, Be HAPPY you are getting married, If I ever got married again. i would have been very happy in a plain dress, a few guess (my kids :slightly_smiling_face: ) & even if it was at a barn or at the beach or on a boardwalk, It’s about you are spending the rest of your life, hopefully with the person you are madly in love with, not what they wear :slightly_smiling_face: And you are right Venus is stunning, I see it in the sly almost every night. It is beautiful

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Obviously this event isn’t high on his list of priorities. No effort says a lot

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If you have trouble getting him to dress up for his own wedding…just wait til you’re married!!! Yeah, I know this first hand. :anguished:

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Call off the wedding! Then he might understand!

:triangular_flag_on_post: :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:…….

:white_flag: :white_flag::white_flag::white_flag::white_flag:

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Do you love the man or the clothes?

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All you people saying leave him, call off the wedding what is your problem? Y’all think not wanting to dress up is a reason to call off a wedding but don’t see a problem with her calling off the wedding over clothes? SMH, he’s in love with this woman not her wardrobe and I would hope she’s in love with him and not his wardrobe. It’s one thing to give opinions on how she can get him to dress differently but leaving him is not going to accomplish anything close to that! To the bride, let him wear what he wants as long as his clothes aren’t dirty or falling apart what difference does it make?

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Enlist his friends to tell him he’ll regret it if he doesn’t give a little on this. He’ll want to look sharp in those pictures that’ll be framed and looked at often. And he’ll regret making his wife cry on her wedding day. Clearly this is not his first marriage but it sounds like it’s yours, so he should be cognizant of that. Ask him if he’s not that serious about the marriage too.

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No effort speaks volumes

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Don’t be ridiculous let him wear what he wants

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Let him dressed how he wants, he gets a say as well, it’s his wedding too.

Red flag! If he can’t do this for you now, you got a long life of him being bare minimum!

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All eyes will be on you. If you are wanting formal wedding pictures- maybe do them before the wedding. Is he aware and supportive of the venue? Is there a specific reason why what he is wearing is wrong- and did you explain it? Thought- if one can’t compromise on attire- what happens during the really big issues that come along?

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Sounds like he doesn’t want to even get married

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This is what ignoring red flags look like. He doesn’t value you or your input. But his ex wife made sure to make that your problem. Good luck. I wouldn’t do it but you will probably give in and accept the behavior.

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We had a beach wedding And I wanted the guys to wear the typical white shirt and khaki pants but they werent having it since they never wear those anyways and. Wouldnt again so we compromised with nice blue jeans and blue button up shirts. And they could wear anything “decent” to the reception after the pictures and our dances. So basically picked out something they would wear again but looked nice.

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Even though our wedding was my husband’s 3rd wedding he still dressed up for it. He was involved in all the planning too. Sorry to say your man doesn’t sound like he even wants to get married. I would really consider wither or not he really wants to marry you

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Did you choose your gown ??? Then why shouldn’t be be able to wear what he feels comfortable in to the wedding.

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Is it really that important what he wears as long as he shows up ready to say I Do!

So he won’t compromise for your special day? And what do you think will happen in your marriage ? Run now!

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Talk to whatever family member he is closest to lol, I get it you have been dreaming of this day and you should get that few minutes.

Girl he probably doesn’t fit in his military uniform.

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It’s his wedding too. :woman_shrugging: maybe the first wedding he was forced into wearing what she wanted. Maybe he never wanted a second wedding but because his new woman does hes going along with it. Why is a man standing up for what he wants to wear a red flag? So if he said something like :thinking: ya know you’ve explained your dress and it seems too fancy I think you should wear what I want. Should she have to? Or should she get to dress how she wants on her wedding day? Or would everyone be telling him RED FLAG she won’t do what you want. Run now. :roll_eyes: probably not it would be its your day screw him. Well it’s his day too.

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It’s his wedding too. His consent on what he wears matters too.
Marriage is 100% about working together, not changing each other. What he wears matters so little in the long run. He deserves a say and body autonomy too.

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I want to know what a day to day jacket is? I mean a windbreaker? An actual coat like jacket? I don’t know any men who run around wearing suit style jackets on a day to day type basis …as long as he looks handsome, cleaned up, and not wrinkly, then he will probably look just fine! I’d rather my man wear jeans and a button up or whatever than have a shaggy beard or hair for pics, so as long as he’s cleaned up I mean, have at it with your day to day jacket. Lol

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I’m confused why you aren’t happy with him being himself? Who are you marrying? A picture or the man. Get your priorities straight and stop comparing your relationship ship to his previous ones.

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Love these responses. If he doesn’t BOW DOWN then clearly he’s going to abuse you. :roll_eyes:

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My husband and all the males in our wedding wore jeans, vests and boots.

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