Have him sign his rights away and just live your life with your perfect kid. It’ll be hard, but you won’t have to worry about that toxic asshole ever again
Yes get child support 100%
1 Like
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to navigate a having a child that my ex and his family don't want?
Military will take support directly from his paycheck. Whether he chooses to see the child is his choice. It doesn’t sound like he wants to be a part of its life and it may be a good thing.
86 Likes
Get support and all military benefits that are available. Your child does deserve it, if you don’t need the money to provide for the child, start a college savings account and put it there.
3 Likes
No, you don’t owe child support unless x becomes the custodial parent. Once child is born you should most certainly file for child support. X won’t get in trouble on the job.
39 Likes
Raise your child without a father and that family end of story. Dependent on your state if you ever need government assistance they’ll ask for the father if you don’t have it listed they keep asking until you tell them or withhold benefits then they’ll make him backpay child support. So best to get a lawyer and get those things situated first so there isn’t any problems later.
26 Likes
He won’t get in trouble unless he’s a married officer…and even then probably not. He’s afraid of the fact that the militarily will DEFINITELY make sure he pays support to proven dependents.
They don’t allow “deadbeat” parents to slide.
Prove paternity. Get support. Your child deserves it.
59 Likes
I firmly believe women AND men should never be forced to be a part of a child’s life they never wanted. Before you got pregnant, you knew his feelings on the matter, you knew he didn’t want to have a baby. You are deciding to keep the baby knowing all this. If you were the one who wanted to terminate, he would have zero say in the matter (rightfully, its 100% your choice) but since you want the baby and he doesn’t, and neither does his family, I think you should raise the baby 100% on your own.
23 Likes
I have no idea why so many people seem to think he should pay child support. This guy is 23, didn’t want a child, told her he didn’t want a child, and now she’s having a child and expects to get support? Keeping it was her choice, not his. He shouldn’t have to pay. Sorry…not Sorry.
48 Likes
He needs to pay for that baby. I read somewhere that “just because the mother of your child is successful, doesn’t mean you get to do the bare minimum” it doesn’t matter that you make more money than him. He needs to help pay for the child, even if you take what he gives you and put it in a savings fund for your child. Why should he get to knock you up and not share the responsibility. I can assure you, if he did this to you, he will do it to someone else.
38 Likes
My sons father never wanted anything to do with him since day 1 basically. Same with his family. You can’t force him to be there unfortunately. You don’t want that. It took a year after having my son to realize that his fathers side involved or not, that’s still my son and I’m fortunate enough to get to watch this little boy grow. It’s my sons fathers loss. Not my sons. Take care of that baby with or without his help. My sons paternal side started coming around when he was about 2 and sends money here and there and asks for updates even though his father doesn’t. I keep it civil. Instead of sitting there thinking this is what he should be doing, just focus on the joy of raising your baby.
26 Likes
Make him pay child support…
16 Likes
The military has incredible benefits for military children. You can sign any paper giving up your child’s rights, but the child has its own rights that only he/she can sign away. Chances are, you will be in a battle somewhere along the line with this low life, be prepared. They always change their minds. Start now and get your child’s benefits started. You may need them later on. A lawyer is a good start. Good luck!!
9 Likes
I would go for child support and move house so he can’t find you and cut him and his family off altogether. I made this mistake with my eldest son’s father. I pushed and pushed for a relationship between them and he treated him and myself very poorly. I still have problems now even though my son is now 23 years old. Move and move on. It will only cause you heartache and more problems. He still owes my 10K child support which I will never see
Don’t sign a damn thing. He is responsible regardless. He should’ve wrapped his junk up too.
18 Likes
Talk to a family lawyer and get child support for your new baby. You don’t need to stay in touch with the sperm Donner , but you do need to get something set up for your baby. It’s hard feeding and raising children on your own . Your baby deserves opertinutys yet too come. The military has good pensions and they might help you too… You’ll need prenatal care etc… if you feel you won’t be able too afford your baby you have to get this done soon…
2 Likes
My view is , you are currently only 9 weeks pregnant , you have a long way to go before you give birth , in this time things may change and him or his parents may change, once baby is here they may also decide to want to be part of the child life , I personally think it is too soon to be thinking g of child support .
3 Likes
Congratulations on your little one! I am so sorry you were pressured into an abortion. ((((Hugs)))). Your local Catholic Charities has wonderful resources for expecting mothers - legal aid, support groups, even financial assistance. God bless you!
3 Likes
I was a single mom of two beautiful girls. You can do this. Obviously we would all prefer to have the other parent be involved, but they can’t be forced to do right by their children. As for the family, same thing. If they don’t hold the men they raised responsible and help them to be better people, it really isn’t surprising that they are unsupportive or indifferent. File for child support and call the chaplain. Children are a blessing and it has been my privilege to get to raise and love them. It isn’t always easy, but it is a labor of love. You will find support from unexpected places and your child will be loved. The father is missing out. You can do this! 
2 Likes
So many things I want to say. Seek the support. Military is very family oriented, they will help you. He doesn’t get the right to say he won’t support the child, it doesn’t work that way. Speaking from experience, I have witnessed, the judge speaks for the child. He needs to be responsible. Doing the right thing, sue for support. That is support for your child
53 Likes
You are entitled to child support and the child can get an id card which means medical and commissary benefits. Don’t let him tell you no. Contact his command family support and they will help. Don’t let that dude bag get away Scott free.
6 Likes
Remember the child support is for the child, not really you. So don’t feel bad for asking for that support. Your child deserves that. As far as your ex and their family goes, if they don’t want contact with your child, that is their loss. I would suggest that if they decide to contact you/your child later on to be open to hearing them out.
21 Likes
No! You would not have to pay him child support! Do not push the relationship, they’ve already told you how they feel, you have to put your past experiences behind you. Get child support. My dad was in the Army and my parents were separated then divorced. Yes, they will make sure he pays. I think you are smart enough to already know the answers here. Bless you for taking care of your family and not having another abortion. Your ex sounds horrible!
3 Likes
There are plenty of people who will love this baby in the future even if it’s father and family don’t… no need to put you and the baby through unnecessary heartache and pain
5 Likes
He won’t get in trouble for getting you pregnant. Pretty sure he’d get in trouble for abandoning your child. They are very family oriented and you would get the support.
However, if he wants nothing to do with the baby, then you don’t want to force him into the baby’s life. It’s their loss, not yours or your child’s.
2 Likes
If he is in the military the baby can get tri care health insurance and they will mandate support
6 Likes
Paternity test and then birth father is legally required to pay support. You didn’t get pregnant on your own.
If l were you l would just chill and take care of yourself. You have lots of time to sort out relationships.
5 Likes
Petition the court when the baby is born for a paternity test. At that point if he’s in the military they will pull child support out of his pay. You can’t force him to have a relationship but he does have a financial obligation to the child.
5 Likes
Get child support regardless of him and his family not wanting anything to do with the baby. You didn’t make this child on your own. He can take responsibility and pay his fair share.
4 Likes
Definitely get in touch with the military and the child support system to make him pay for his own offspring. There’ll be big benefits for you/the child!
As for the family, especially the “grandma”, cut her off. Her first comment back to you was a massive dig when you tried to do nothing but the right thing, and you said it very nicely. She doesn’t sound like someone you’d need in your child’s life, it seems as though her choice of words are trying to provoke you in some way and were not very supportive at all.
3 Likes
- leave the paternal family out of it until they want in… support and raise solo- you’ve made it this far solo decisioning
3 Likes
You should file for support. Also eventually that child will want to know their father etc. Don’t bash or downgrade them to the child. My boys found out truth when they flew to see him & then knew the truth. They love & supported me well. I raised my 3 kids on my own & Very proud of them!
2 Likes
Clearly you said it all…Now go look after yourself, your six yr old & future child …And claim him as father he deserves to be taught it takes 2 people to make a child and he needs to accept responsibility too… So many people would love a baby please don’t abort for nobody unless it’s a risk to your life! What’s meant to be…is meant to be!!!
1 Like
At the end of the day, it is his child. Go for child support and if financially you don’t need it to raise the child, put it in a college fund. As for his family, if they support him being a drop kick, then are they really someone you want in your child’s life?
If they decide to be decent humans then sure, until then. I wouldn’t reach out. Leave yourself open for communication but let them make the effort, focus on being the best for your baby and if they choose to miss out it is their loss.
1 Like
Oh hon, what an immature little boy. If he didn’t want a child he should have wore a condom. Get a lawyer and go for child support. He’s mad because he couldn’t bully you into a second abortion. Enjoy you beautiful baby. Maybe one day he and his family will grow up and want to know it. Wishing you a wonderful future 
You have every right to not put him on the birth certificate and make him sign his rights over which he would never have any sort of visitation, never pay child support ect and you and your babies live a happy healthy life away from negative people.
Or you can make a motion in the court to have him pay CS but the judge might grant him visitations. Its entirely up to you if you want him in YOUR childs life. He doesnt want the baby you do. His loss your gain. Do what you think is right by you little one
No matter his choice,he has to be responsible for this child as much as you.
Know you have reached out to him and his parent’s and they have chosen to not accept the baby. Put his name on the birth certificate and apply for Child support.
My mom was a single parent in the military. She made more than my dad (who was no longer in the military and wanted nothing to do with us). She had us 100% of the time and even though she made more than him, she was still awarded child support for us.
I’m so glad you decided to keep the baby!!! He should have to pay child support he made that life and should support him or her. Good luck!!
I don’t think the reply means that the family don’t want anything to do with the child. It is a difficult situation for them, especially if you haven’t had any relationship with them previously. Theyll want to support their son but may not agree with his decisions. 9 weeks is still very early in the pregnancy. I would reach out again once the baby is born , send them a photo etc and offer a chance for them to have a relationship with the child. If they don’t then its their loss. Definitely seek child support from the father though good luck.
The only way that man would get in trouble while in the military is if he is married. He may not want that child but he made it & should be responsible for financial support should you want it. But also you are still very early & he & his family could come around eventually
Have him sign forms saying he is giving up all rights to your child and raise that baby by yourself. Not having a “father” is way better than your baby going visiting a toxic family who didn’t want anything to do with him/her and being raised thinking they’re not worth it.
He doesn’t have to have anything to do with the child, physically, that’s his decision (I personally think that’s sad but ultimately that’s his decision to make and that of his family) but he’s legally obligated to pay child support or at least have an order in place. The child has the right to be supported so I’d deffo get on that.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this, regardless of his choice, sounds like they’ll have a very loving parent x
1000% go for child support. It’s much easier to not pursue it later than it is to try to backtrack and set things up so you can pursue it. Even if he doesn’t want to be involved, he is responsible for the care of the child. And, just because he pays child support, it does not entitle him to anything.
Have the baby and petition for child support when you leave the hospital. Birth control is only 99% effective and that means that 100s of thousands of people will get pregnant daily even though they use it correctly. He willingly had sex and knew the consequences. Therefore he will have to own up to it and help support the child.
1 Like
Girl do not buy this BS about him getting in trouble with his chain of command for getting you pregnant. There’s no such thing. In fact they’re very big on making sure the family is taken care of.
As far as the relationship with him and his family and the child goes… it’s too early to tell how things will go. I wouldn’t stress about it right now because you are pregnant. Try your hardest to focus on the people that do wanna be involved in you and your child’s life
I think you have to have the fathers name on birth cert. to ask for child support .Might want to keep that in mind if you choose this direction
Get child support. It’s not for you, it’s for the kid. You should not be made to feel guilty for seeking child support. If he or his family tries to cry foul, that’s their problem. And there are lots of people who can help you fill out the proper paperwork with the military.
If you want that baby, you keep it. You raise it how u see fit. You file for child support because he laid down with you and made that baby too. Whether he wants to be in that child’s life or not, you do what you need to do.
The way you were treated should be enough… Seek support for your child regardless. You mentioned birth control but no condom, who’s irresponsible? He doesn’t want children then he should strap up as well! TWICE EVEN! In reality we as people pay for our so called mistakes no matter what the terms are… You should have dumped him the first go round! Never put your body through no more than you have 2. Children might not come so easy in the future. God Bless and keep your blessing!
Did you sign that paper saying he wouldnt have to pay support? If so, you may be screwed on that. And honestly if he was really that against having a child he should have wrapped it up birth control isn’t 100%… Not that condoms are either but that’s besides the point. Glad he’s an ex for yours and that childs sake.
I do not have any advice, just wanted to say how amazingly you have handled this and I wish there were more people like you in the world. whatever you do, know that you’ve tried and let NO guilt ever rest on your shoulders about the matter x well done you!!! x
Nah fam, that whole bull about getting in trouble for getting you pregnant was malarkey. However, him abandoning you and your child WOULD get him in trouble. So IMO I would blow that whistle on him and smack dat booty with child support. It’s entirely up to you, just how I would handle the situation
Stop reaching out to him and them and call you a family lawyer most of them give free consultations. Personally get DNA get child support and set up visitation. No mother should have to raise a child alone. There are so many options like having a middle person if you and him can’t get alone. Stop letting these men get away with dead beats.
My husband is a captain - no he doesn’t get in trouble for getting you pregnant.
Yes your child will have his benefits tricare and their amazing and he pays no more for having your child on his insurance. I have 4 children and it hasn’t changed per child. Yes he will have to pay you child support . It will most likely be around 1200 plus depending on his rank. Take full custody, make sure you have all the documents that he and his family have written to you and save them in an envelope and share with your kid at an appropriate time so kiddo knows the truth. Wishing you the best dealing with your shit bag of an ex 
please feel free to PM
Go for full custody and since he doesn’t want anything to do with the child have a written letter of what you both want and bring it to court. It’ll be easy as he doesn’t want the baby, he can sign his rights away.
1 Like
The only way he can get in trouble with the military is if he is married with someone else. He can however get in trouble for not supporting said child.
The only possible way he could get in trouble with the military for getting you pregnant is if you’re a minor or he’s actually married. Do not feel guilty for seeking support and help with your child. The military will give your child free health insurance which will substantially alleviate your worries or struggles relating to Healthcare. Also, if you seek child support and he doesn’t follow through with court ordered support you can go up his command and they will put pressure on him to actually do it. I’ll pray for you and the little one.
I’d be done with them. Raise your child with the knowledge that maybe one day they will come around. When the child gets old enough give them the information and maybe they can reach out. Time usually heals.
First off you still have about 8mos before said child is here. A lot can happen in that time. Don’t give up on them yet. Also u decided to keep the child so do that. Go on about your life and do what’s right for you and the child. Their decision might change once that child is here. The only thing you have to decide right now u already have and that is ur keeping the baby.
You are in a very difficult place, and it’s double on you because it seems you are the only one in that equation with any sense. Go after him for child support, your child deserves it. Do not sign anything unless there is a lawyer present. Your children deserve support from their Dad’s, if he don’t want a relationship with the baby that’s on him. Just remember that one day that child may just have to give his old, tired ass a glass of water when he can’t get it himself. I wish you all the luck you may need.
He is oviously not a responsible person so you should have taken the responsibility to keep from getting prégnant. This looks like an attempt to keep a man who doesnt want any responsibility. Getting prégnant twice when you knew he didnt want any should have been very clear. You need to take part of the blame.
Child support. Move on with your life, seek support and love from those who desire to be in your lives.
If the family decides down the road they do indeed want to be a part of the child’s life, then great?. But be careful. Don’t share to much of your personal business with them. Sadly ppl will want nothing to do with kids then years down the road try to spitefully take them from you? It’s weird but happens alllll the time. Make sure you keep screenshot of the families texts so if that should ever be the case you have that as an extra layer of protection… no pun intended…
Oh boy, not just needing child support but have physical support papers too. For example, if there are no custody papers, he can legally take the child and live with him down the road.
Be prepared to do it alone. It can be done 
And this is the view of so many of the “pro life” people who want to take away the rights of women yet behind closed doors judge them and abandon the children that pregnant people do choose to have. It’s so freaking twisted in logic it feels like an impossible knot to untangle. You are more fortunate that these people don’t want to be in this child’s life, rather than influence it, I am sure.
Get child support and free medical for your baby. It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t want to be part of this child or that you can afford the baby without him. It is your responsibility to make certain that the baby is taken care by both of you.
I was in the same position 37 years ago. The father wanted nothing to do with the child. And neither did his parents. We were both in the military. I wasn’t going to go for child support either. But I did. Thank God. First, the father is just as responsible for the child as you are, whether he wants to be in his/her life. He most definately should pay child support and either carry medical or contribute to it. You don’t know what your financial situation will be down the road. The financial burden should not be yours alone. Please, go to the Friend of the Court and file for child support. You won’t have to deal with him, the military and the court will take care of everything. The support will come out of his pay automatically, and with him in the service, the baby will be entitled of healthcare. How he feels about it doesn’t matter. Do not feel guilty. He will make you feel as though it is your fault and it is ruining his life. He doesn’t want to be responsible. Make him. This is about both parents providing for the child you BOTH created, how he feels is irrelevant.
1 Like
I personally would cut all ties. I will never force someone to be apart of my favorite persons life. Maybe it’s selfish but if my child would ever want to reach out, I will not deny them of who they are or their information but I would definitely warn them that they may not receive the response they’d hoped for. They are the ones missing out & honestly, you don’t need that headache if this innocent child isn’t worth it to them.
I only read half of that but I’ll tell you what I would tell him to go screw himself and then I would go and get on some kind of help with money and housing and then I would sue his butt for child support and get every cent that you can get because what an AF wouldn’t that wouldn’t want to child
Seek child support. Then leave the option open for a while as the child isn’t here yet it may change when it arrives so see what happens when baby arrives and take it from there. For now concentrate on keeping well and getting prepared with things and lots of self care 
I think you should ask for child support but IF YOU DO, know that he and his family will probably become involved in the life and raising of the child and custody issues may arise. The child will also be allowed to spend a reasonable amount of time with the father/family, if he chooses. Many things to think about…
1 Like
He won’t get in trouble, unless he was married when he got your pregnant. Even then, he’d only get in trouble if you went to his CO/XO about it. Since he’s active duty, the child you have with him is eligible for Tricare… And you should 100% take his ass to court and have it court ordered that HE provides insurance for the child. Also, he’ll definitely be involuntarily paying child support unless you refuse it. My husband had to pay $850/month for one child in the state of Texas. Court ordered paternity test would be ideal as well, because he’ll no longer be able to deny anything (if he tries to even start).
Sounding to me like you should just cut ties completely with these people as well. Your ex seems to have inherited his uncaring attitude and I’d be more concerned at this point of what kind of cold treatment your child would receive from a father who did not want them and grandparents who felt the same. Sounds potentially pretty damaging to the child to me.
The only way he would get into trouble with the military by getting someone pregnant is if he is married and the person he got pregnant is not who he is married to. Likely trying to cover his a**.
Get 
your baby’s support it’s not the ex you should feel bad for why should your baby miss out because the ex couldn’t wrap it up too! Get that support and put it away for the future x
Have the baby, go for child support, and do not have sexual relations with him anymore! Make the next serious relationship with someone a lot less flaky and untrustworthy.
He doesn’t want you or the baby but it’s not his body nor his choice so make him pay right cuz even though you both made the baby only you get to decide how to proceed. Score. Don’t push this family if they want to they’ll come around.
My ex pulled something EXTREMELY similar. I just left him off the birth certificate makes things 100x easier for me. Different states have different rules, but this way I never have to try to find him to sign off on stuff and if I want to get my son a passport or take him somewhere I can just do that without trying to find that douche canoe. The only downside in my state was if you don’t seek child support you can’t apply for any government assistance so I had to work a lot of overtime when things got tight, but it wasn’t too bad. (I believe you can get around that if you claim not to know who the father is, but I was never comfortable doing that) Also now that I’m married (6 years later) my husband wants to officially adopt my son and we want to give him the same last name as us and his little brother which is also a WAAAAAY easier process without his sperm donor on the birth certificate.
Yes you should absolutely get child support! If him and his family dont want to know the kid then thats their loss. Just dont let him get over and not have any responsibility
Wipe your hand of all them they made it clear they don’t want anything to do with u or the child and u said u r ok with that then b ok with it and let it b. When the child is old enough and asking questions then let the child know and the child can make its own decisions on what to do after that…don’t ever push a unwanted child on someone cas it will not end well for u or the child. Just love with all u can and b honest
Seek a lawyer’s advice and file for support asap. KEEP EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF CORRESPONDENCE DOCUMENTED! Every text, email, anything that you can get in writing or recorded. His attitude and disregard will work in your favor. Best of luck
He said he’d get in trouble and lose his job….sounds like he is married!!! Adultery especially with proof (conception of child) That’s punishable under UCMJ. She can force his hand for child support (he will likely get demoted or kicked out, so CS is going to be nothing) or just let it go. You cannot force anyone to be an involved parent or grandparent. So do what is best for you and the child, provide them with love support and a happy healthy home.
You have two options:
A) establish paternity after birth and seek child support, knowing if this is the route you take, he will be entitled to have a relationship with his child at any point and to any degree because he is declared the father and providing support. Both him and/or his parents could change their minds down the road. It happens a lot.
B. You can agree not to seek child support from him and sign whatever documents he wants, and in return ask him to relinquish his parental rights (legally). You can never collect if you change your mind in the future but he will also have no rights to the child. In this instance, if he wanted to be involved later, you could allow him to be, but it would only be on your terms.
In both circumstances, you can continue to be open towards his parents participating in a relationship with a child later on, should they choose.
You would never owe him any child support unless he shared custody of the child, even then it would depend on the percentage of time he spends with the child, so possibly you would pay $0.
There’s no reason he would ‘get in trouble’ that’s asinine. File for child support. You won’t owe him anything because you are the custodial parent
Cant make him involved. He told u he didnt want it. Just go to court after its born. Establish custody and support. My kids dad and his fam wanted nothing to do w my kids. Leave it alone. Im glad they chose that bc the dysfunction they had wouldve been bad for my kids. I was a single mom for 10 yrs. I would fo it again.
File for child support, you may also be able to have veterans health care for the pregnancy and delivery. The child will be eligible for military medical care. That paper you signed isn’t worth the paper or ink. If he never wanted kids, he should have a vasectomy.
If he’s not going to be a present parent then you should seek at financial help. Your other child father does his part so support isn’t necessary but this guy wants to contribute nothing to the child he created so at the very least he can help you financially
My main point was, you may meet a wonderful man in the future that wants to be dad to your child. If the biological father had rights, and didn’t want the baby to start with, he could cause you problems in the future. Just saying!!!
Have him terminate his rights or go after child support. That baby is another man’s blessing and you never know if he’d adopt your baby. Do what’s best for you and baby.
Unpopular opion but if he has told you more then once he didnt want kids and you were trying not to get pregnant then he shouldn’t have to pay for a child he didnt want. I raise both my kids with no support from either of their dads. It’s hard but it’s better. Some men if they have to pay will ask for custody also and they can be NO FUN for the kid.
Sue him for child support. Put the money in a college fund for your child if you do not want to use it . Raise your child on your own and be happy. Do not let him get away for being irresponsible with his ejaculation . His responsibilities is to help support your child .
Honey…heres some ole lady advice… F-them----F THEM! The asinine ex didn’t grow up in a vacuum, he learned to be an ignorant ahole someplace. And now you know the place was dear ole moms knee. Keep the correspondence to give it to your child when they are grown, or in case your custody is challenged if/when they pull their heads out of their a**. Then proceed to raise your baby. BTW he is still on the hook for support but it might be worth skipping it to not have his and his families toxicisity around your child.
You can’t force him or his family to be a part of the child’s life but you are entitled to child support from this man. Don’t sign your child’s rights to support away.
The military frowns heavily on NOT supporting your child. . please know that in some states if you do not seek child support he can come in the childs life see the child and not pay a thing.
First the military, he would be in trouble for cutting you off and acting like a douche bag. He will be made to support your child and receive military medical support, he obviously doesn’t want to have money taken from his check, you can go to JAG and they can tell you were to go, or his company command. He doesn’t have to have any contact or relationship, unless he takes you to court, you will have full custody.
Second, your coparenting and child support would only change if either of you went to court, but you have 50/50 every thing so I don’t see why you would think differently.
1 Like
Just raise the baby on ur own less heartbreak in the future when he could want to come back and try to take sole responsibility
You are over thinking this situation.You are 9 weeks pregnant. Your ex has moved along that quickly? Let it rest. Take care of your 2 children and allow life to happen. Do not reach out to new baby daddy, hold yourself back. Do not reach out to his family, either. Time will heal everything. Now, you will have 3 different children with 3 different men? Time for a permanent solution, tubes tied or long term IUD. Don’t say you can’t because of some stupid reason. It kept me pregnant free for 12 years between my 1st and 2nd child. I don’t know your situation but, being a single mother of 3 kids is hell. Do not depend on his family because of your mother’s situation. It is irrelevant. I know when the baby is born, people tend to change their minds. Take care of you and your 2 children, stay away from men for at least a year, it is not going to kill you. Get new friends, go to church, change your life. Time will tell and if you keep your mouth shut and be respectable and responsible you will succeed. When you succeed, your children will, too. ( I am not telling you not to seek child support. This is a situation for a time far, far away.)
and the only reason you would ever have to pay child support is if he was the custodial parent
Simple. Raise the child on your own. Be happy. Go after child support he is the biological sperm donor. And don’t worry about his side. They may or may not come around once the baby is born. But that shouldn’t matter. I’m sure he told his parents lies. Maybe not but you don’t need people like them in your and your kids life good luck