If you don’t hold the same values and if your life goals aren’t in sync about how you would like your relationship to evolve then you’re going to be constantly trying to trudge water uphill - exhausting and not get very far.
Maybe you both need some time and space away from each other to evaluate what you really want and if you both have the same vision. Don’t try to force something that isn’t there.
Also, why is he so resistant to getting married. I.e. trauma from his own childhood … or he wants to keep his options open … there could be a myriad of reasons and you could explore therapy together if you felt it was worth it. But accept that you ‘may’ still come out of therapy wanting different things.
This is not intended to hurt anybody’s feelings or offend… but it seems like more and more people want a wedding but not a marriage … and when you can decipher the difference you know you want both … ijs
Marriage isn’t for everyone, that being said if you want to get married and he doesn’t then I would move on and find somebody that does. Sticking around talking him into it is just going to make it harder later on because then it’s going to turn into him throwing it in your face that he never wanted to get married to start with. You two wanting different things out of your lives is completely OK, but you have to ask yourself are you compatible with each other if your thought processes are that different.
I am this…
A fiance who never wants to get married 
🤦
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I hate saying this but i would adivse you to move on. It sounds to me he has moved on in his mind n just wants u to be the 1 to make the desicion so he doesn’t have to. It just to make himself feel better if you do choose to move on. You deserve better. I am a huge advocate for marriage but not at the expenses od mental, emotional, & spiritual health. If hed have wanted to marry you he’d have done so by now unless u 2 had a specific plan set in place n it was mutual as to when it would happen like after we get a house or a masters degree n such. But honestly it sounds like he has issues and you will not be able to help him through them he needs to do it himself. God Bless & Good Luck Sweetheart.
You should be with someone who wants the same things you do - marriage, children, support, etc. You both deserve better, honestly.
If yall are happy with way relationship is now, why should a piece of paper change that? Unless that’s a deal breaker for you then you have your answer.
If you love him and want to be with him then having a ring and signed paper shouldn’t really matter.
But If being married is more important to you then being with him then I guess find someone who wants marriage.
It really just comes down to what makes you happy with your life.
Honestly, doesn’t sound like wants to marry you. I wouldn’t force someone to marry me. Either keep it the way it is or move on 
Marriage is really just a piece of paper. If he doesn’t want to get married then he doesn’t have too. But if its what you really want then you need to find someone who wants the same in life as you
Can you meet in the middle. Have a ceremony with friends & family. Have a party afterwards with the cake but just don’t sign the papers.
You get a wedding but technically it’s not legal.
Me and my fiance are doing that. I personally never want to get married so I get it🤷🏻♀️
He has a whole double life…
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I’m not sure how I had this page on my Facebook probably an ex-girlfriend but you’re f****** questions are ridiculous if he don’t want to get married tell him to kick rocks or be non marring the rest of your f****** life
It’s just feeling I’m not saying your not enough for him. It’s just his not sure he wants it I was with someone for 5 years Didn’t wanna marry him I did tell him I don’t see anything in future with him. And his more then welcome to see outside our relationship. Only because I wasn’t settle enough to stay a family and I didn’t have the income to make a family. I moved on
I married my husband only 6 months of known him It’s about timing for most of us.
If he hasn’t changed his mind in 5 yrs he never will. I dated someone for 3 yrs and ot never lead anywhere but when I met my husband we were married in 7 months and been happily married for almost 6 yrs now. You’re gonna have to get used to the idea of never getting married or it’s time to move on.
It sounds like you both want different things and even though you’ve tried to make it work he’s realised he doesn’t want to change whT he wants and neither do you.
Clearly, they have both wasted five years, because they ignored each others’ preference in regards to a major life decision. What else about each others’ wants and needs are they ignoring? Sounds like it’s best to gracefully split.
You cannot force someone to marry. It is just a piece of paper. I have been with my partner for 7yrs before marrying last year. Only reason we did was to end our 2 babies being called bastards while our 3rd was the only seen as blessed. Since he was conceived and born after our marriage. Those who dont know us will never know and therefore none of our kids will be valued less over some damn paperwork. SMH.
I was with someone for 5 years, wanted the marriage/kids and all… we lived together and everything. After 5 years I got tired of it and I left. I’m with my husband now, we have been together nearly 5 years, married almost a year and 2 babies… if he wanted to get married he’d do it. The fact he’s thrown the “I got you a ring months ago” in your face would ruin it for me, on top of the ultimatum…. Im sure you deserve better.
My now husband and I have been together for 12 year this October, we were engaged for 5 years and had two children before we finally set a wedding date, we will be married next week 3 years…
I would worry about retirement. In some cases (more often than not) a women’s social security is less than a husbands. I was a stay at home mom for 15 years. My SS will not be much but will draw off my husbands. Just a thought if you have been out of the work force for a few years.
If after 5 years he’s still keeping his personal problems from U then I don’t think the relationship will be much different in 10yrs, and U still won’t be married.
He does not want to marry you. If that is what you need in the relationship, find someone who does. you wanting to be married will not change him.
Move on if he loves you he’ll come to his senses dont fight or argue just simply move on
Sounds like you both want different things and you’re trying to force this to work when fundamentally you disagree and aren’t on the same page regarding a huge life decision. You don’t try and sway him and he should respect how you feel enough to be an adult and clearly tell you he’s not going to give you what you want and be VERY transparent.
Is is possible he’s already married to someone else and doesn’t want to sign the divorce papers on that person and keeping it a complete secret
You shouldn’t have to force someone into marriage. After 5 years if he doesn’t want it and you do then it is time to move on
If he did agree to get married then took it back after an argument, I’d question wether he agreed for the right reasons or if he’s the type to hold something of value from you as punishment from an argument. Neither are good signs. Definitely seek counseling to figure out if this is really what he wants and get him to understand the gravity of how he made you feel by dangling a ring in your face and taking it back. Thats definitely a kick in the chest and a tad manipulative.
This reminds me VERY much of the 90 day fiance couple Sumit and Jenny. If you’re asking facebook… Its probably for confirmation of your own decision.
You need to walk away. Don’t settle for that , the right man will not hesitate to make you his wife !
Stop wasting your time. He doesn’t see it like you do. Which is ok. But if this is ultimately what you want than your love is still out there.
Stop wasting time with people that don’t share your vision. Life is too short. Leave and find that happiness you deserve.
If he wanted to marry you he would have married you. If you need to get married, move on but if you are happy with this man, let the piece of paper go.
You either settle for him with no marriage or move on. Forcing/pressuring a man to marry you won’t work in the long run.
It ain’t worth getting married anymore. Divorce is at a all time high. Ask if he would want you to sign a prenup.
If you want to get married get out. It’s only five years. It could be ten. Get out in my opinion
Maybe you need to see where he sees the relationship in 10 years
Doesn’t seem like he’s your fiance. Considering someone your fiance doesn’t make them your fiancé.
Why did you make HIS problem yours? It’s his problem!. He owns that problem. After 5 years its time to cut your losses. There are other guys out there that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You’ll need some time to build a little treasure chest to have funds to move out and be on your own. In the mean time…give home one last night of fantastic sex and then cut him off. Tell him no more until you walk down the aisle.
Leave… he sounds controlling… he’s blaming you for his problem…it will get worse. He’s holding marriage over your head to make you conform…give him an ultimatum…he grows up, knocks off the abusive behavior or your gone. You are there to please him, there for sex when he wants it ( Doesn’t have to go find it when he wants it, makes it easy for him) leave while you can!
If he doesn’t want a “legal” wedding, have a Commitment Ceremony instead.
In all honesty i doubt you’ll ever get him to marry you legally. He probably just bought you the ring so you’d get off the subject. Now if you guys truly love you each other and wanna make it work then maybe a paper saying your legally married doesn’t matter but if it’s something you want in the future and he isn’t going to change his mind than maybe you should rethink your future with him you already have 5 years in…if he never changes his mind and neither will you do you want to invest any more time into this relationship?? I had a friend who was engaged for over 2 years. They had a long distance relationship at the time and she was even working on moving to be closer to him even if it meant losing a great job opportunity…in the end …they ended up breaking up because she wanted to set a date and he just kept prolonging on top of other problems.
He’s not committed. Wishy washy. You can love him all you want, stay, possibly waste your time for years, give up your dream, & he’ll leave when he wants to. Worse that way imo. Keeping secrets about why he changes his mind isn’t good either. Ask him directly to open up. But to me it sounds like he doesn’t want to be tied down to you long term “just in case” he decides something different later. Sorry.
Navigate an exit. He has told you exactly how he feels and you’re not listening.
Get out now 
what’s the point of being together if marriage isn’t the end goal?
Sounds like he just doesnt want the legal commitment of papers. If he was raised in a rough family with a messy divorce it’s understandable.
He’s not a fiancé if you’re not getting married. He’s simply a boyfriend with extra letters.
Sounds to me that he’s probably cheating, if you find out and leave he loses you…with a marriage he loses half of everything
Move on girl . After five years if he hasn’t changed he ain’t !
Find another fiancé, don’t waste another minute of your life! Caulk it up to difference of option and move on.
If he wanted to marry you, he would…
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Dont marry someone who doesnt want to be married
Maybe he didn’t like the reason you gave him for wanting to get married.
He’s done. He checked out a long time ago. Its time for you to move one because he already has.
Find someone who wants the same things you do
So he wants you to play wifey and not be wifey. Is someone else in the picture?
Navigate right on out that door. Find someone wants what you want.
Move on, there’s other fish in the sea that won’t give you the runaround
Lol I am engaged and don’t wanna get married. Period.
Did you pressure him into marriage ?
Then he’s not a fiance… move on. Don’t waste ur time
You can still have a proposal and a wedding without having to sign a contract. A wedding is statement in itself
Leave. Sounds toxic. Stating he bought you ring months prior but now doesn’t want to? All because you had fight. Toxic. He’s playing games he knows will hurt you and this isn’t right for you. Leave him to his miserable self and find yourself a decent man who loves you. Relationships shouldn’t be so hard
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Marriage VS long term relationship.
Marriage gives you the ability to make decisions if something happens to either of you.
Marriage in the eyes of government makes you both responsible.
Long term relationship means just that accident sorry you see them in the hospital, can’t make decisions, can’t go to bank and make financial decisions, can’t talk on thier behalf.
But you have never said what his reasoning is for not getting married,
How does one become engaged if didn’t propose a marriage?
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He’s just not that into you. Detach.
Get married cause that’s what you want .
Get rid of him.He has to grow up.
I was with a man 5 years had 2 kids n never married. I left him now I have a husband was with him 1 year he proposed a year later married n we just celebrated our 1 year anniversary. A man that’s wants to spend his life with u knows by 6 months. 5 years is just wasting ur time
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My fiancée doesn’t want to get legally married again(really bad first marriage) so we are compromising well have a wedding without signing a marriage license. I’m going to change my last name and we will be power of attorneys over each other. My biggest thing over marriage is to have legal responsibility if the other is unable to at a time. We’ve been together 12 years “engaged” for 5. Legally We are already power of attorneys and eventually I’ll get to planning a wedding lol it’s about what you are and are not willing to compromise on. My situation is after many years of fighting about getting married. Since we both loved each other we comprised. We worked thru it.
I was with someone for 6 years before he proposed then said he didn’t want an actual wedding. 5 more years passed and I kind of talked him into it because my mom had cancer and I wanted her to see me get married. We made it 6 months before it fell apart. We weren’t great from the start anyways but the marriage made it worse somehow. Marriage puts a lot of pressure on people for some reason. Now I’ve been with someone for 4 years and we’ve talked about marriage but there isn’t that pressure. The right person will express what they want better than this. If you want marriage then he might not be the one for you if he doesn’t. Or you have to decide to not get married and be happy with it.
Did he ever say he wanted marriage, other than to compromise for you? Maybe he has tried to explain this the entire time, but hoped to keep you even though it was against his life plan. If he never wanted marriage and he got you a ring out of trying to meet your expectations, this may not be the right relationship for either of you
Doesn’t matter his reason why. Its enough for you to know that you don’t have the same end goal. If you absolutely want to get married, then stop wasting your time with a person that has told you that isn’t what they want. I personally don’t believe that the government belongs in my relationship. My partner believes the same, that doesn’t make our commitment any less. Figure out what you want for yourself, and do that.
He dosent want to be a husband plain and simple.
Hes been showing you and your just not comprehending it because you want a real marriage.
The ball is in your court, you have to ask yourself if this is the life you want to live or do you want to move on and find somebody who does want to be a husband??
Trying to force someone into something like that is never right and will not turn out well for you, he will always resent you whether he says so or not.
So stop pushing on him and search yourself for the answers on what you need to do from here.
After a certain amount of time enough is enough but only you can decide how long. It’s a hard decision to make and will more than likely be permanent, so be sure that’s what you want.
From his comments, it honestly sounds like he’s looking for an out, but he wants you to be the one to walk away with using his refusal to marry you as the reason, which is a cop out, if that’s what it is.
There’s nothing to navigate through. You know already what needs to happen. You can tell yourself all day that you want to marry him but you deep down, you know that you don’t, you just don’t want the last 5 years to seem like a waste. He will resent you if you keep trying to pressure him into something that he’s told you from the beginning that he does not want. A better question would be, why do you want it so bad? If you truly love this man, just be happy being with him and let things happen as they will
You can’t force marriage on someone.
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Love is many things. It varies… One thing it is not, and can never be. Is Unsure.
You’re not compatible. Move on with your life without him.
If a man wants to marry you it will not take 5+ years for him to figure it out. Realize you’re worth it and move on.
Time to move on without him.
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Respect his decision too, if you force him you might regret later. He’ll act like he married you as a favor
Do you love him? If you really love him, then it wouldn’t matter…if you are together, you’re TOGETHER, a piece of paper shouldn’t change it…BUT, if you PUSH him into marriage, it’s not fair
Try and move on. If marriage is want you want and need he isn’t the one.
Why get engaged if you(meaning he) don’t want to get married???
friend, it’s ok to have standards
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You sure you aren’t the side chick in this? Maybe he’s already married to someone else.
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Why he/she a fiancé if the goal is not to be married
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Doesn’t sound like he wants to be “navigated” through.
Sounds like he’s made it clear and your using time and your wanting to as your reason why you should get married.
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Why is he so hung up on things being legal and signing papers…is he already married?
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I don’t even know how a woman wants to marry a man that doesn’t want to marry her. He’s not your finance, you’re not engaged. Find a man that wants to marry you today. So many of them out there. Best wishes❤️
This is such a strange situation. And why is he giving You and ultimatum?? And asking You where you see yourself in 10 years?? Obviously married to him?? He’s the one who sounds unsure. And as much as you may love him, you deserve someone who is sure about you. It’s not fair for him to go back and forth. And then throws in your face that he bought a ring but Still Doesnt Want To Marry You??? Like what kind of game is he playing? If he doesn’t want to get married and you do… find someone who wants the same thing as you. And preferable someone who isn’t going to throw stuff in your face because you had a fight just to hurt you.
He’s not your husband or hubby if you are not legally married… an he isn’t your fiance if he has zero interest in marriage. The ring is to shut you up. Get over it or move on you can’t force someone to do something he don’t want…
I think it’s time for you to move on if you’re wanting to get married.
Do you really want to force someone to marry you, I don’t think the marriage would last if it happened that way.
Time to move on. He wants different things from you and you both will end up resenting eachother if you don’t follow what you want
My guy and I have been “engaged” for 9 years, with no intention of getting “married.” We have been together 13 years and do not need a piece of paper from the government to prove our love from each other. I honestly don’t think it has i do with the fight all had, h may just not feel he need to get married on paper. If y’all love each other and want to be together that’s all that matters.
If he is your fiance, didn’t he already propose with a ring??
Um simple, leave him. You obviously have different wants.
Leave that man and go find your husband sis 