How to potty train a boy?

I’m in the middle of potty training my 2 (almost 3 in September) year old son. It’s been going well for months with the whole peeing part, but I can’t get him to poop in the potty to save my life! We’ve tried praise and rewards like stickers and candies, which worked really well with the peeing thing, and even offered to double it if he started pooping in the potty, but that didn’t work, so we went to throwing away something every time he pooped in his pants (seems to mean I know but desperate acts) and throwing away undies if he went potty in them. Nothing seems to be working! He knows when he has to poop and knows when he needs to be changed but just won’t use the potty. We don’t do the throwing things away thing anymore since that didn’t work, and no rewards seem enticing enough. He has a small potty and a seat for the big potty already…any advice?


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Punishing him for not going has probably put him back a bit. Advice given to me was don’t use nappies or pull ups, put him in pants. When they poo or pee it’s more noticeable as the nappy isn’t keeping them dry. My girl was dry within 3 days, took my boy a little longer but he was dry within a week! Just chill, don’t make a big thing if it, when he goes in his pants just say ‘never mind, maybe next time’ and leave it at that. Take the pressure away and he will get it!


You have to put the potty chair in a place he will use it. Behind a chair in the living room. Or behind his bedroom door. He is to young and back to the sigmun d Freud its a physical mental issue he feels he is doing wrong.He does know he has to go but can hold it and that what cause other issues. Dont be mad at him because you cant deal with him being a baby. 3 is still a baby.

My son was just a few days short of 3 before he was trained. Two things finally worked for me: no more diapers, just pants - he hated being wet and dirty and diapers really mask that. Second - he hated the potty itself. He said it was for babies. But he would go in the toilet. So I got him a little stool and a toddler toilet seat for the big toilet. Worked like a charm. Those things and lots of praise when he got it right, and “oh dear, better luck next time” when he didn’t. Punishment will set him back, don’t undo all your hard work. Good luck! You’ll get through it :blush:


He’s not ready. That’s still on the young side. And if he’s got peeing down, that’s awesome! When he starts to show signs of being ready, give him space and make it fun (tablet, books, etc). Absolutely don’t punish him. Freud would have a field day with this.
My son was potty trained right around 2 1/2 but then his penis touched water while trying to poop (baby sitter would put a little water in potties to make clean up easier) and he was DONE. I stepped back and followed his lead. As soon as he started showing signs of being ready again, he went naked for less than two days and never went back to diapers.


I always feel confused when people say they have been toilet training their children for ‘months’. That kind of timeframe clearly shows the child is not ready. I have 2 boys. Both of them trained within days, when they were ready, just as they turned 3. By punishing him (throwing away his things!!!) you risk long term avoidance and potentially medical issues.


Honestly I had the same issue with my daughter. She knew we were so frustrated and one night she just did it on her own. After weeks of accidents, freak outs, tantrums etc etc. She just felt ready and was good. It’s HARD but it will happen- just keep reminding him and stay on top of it if you can.


He’s not ready then. I can’t believe you’ve even thought that throwing away his things is a good idea! Poor little boy :disappointed:


He’s too young to be potty trained, in my opinion. All you’re doing is creating tension and anxiety for yourself.


I read some kids feel as if they are losing a part of them when they poop. I dont remember the solution. My kids are in their twenties so it’s been awhile. One of them wouldn’t poop in toilet because she didn’t want to get her hands messy while wiping.

Punishing him for pooping his pants sounds pretty harsh, poor guy! We had a hard time with my son too, until i put his potty in a more private area (but where I can still hear if he needed me), turns out all he wanted was privacy lol But also, he’ll be ready on his own time. Not all kids are the same


Is there something g or someplace he really wants to go to or do but he cannot go if he is not pity trained completely, like school or a campout or a sleepover to a friends house. This can work really fast if they understand the concept and are just being stubborn. A niece just would not use the potty until she came and spent a day with us and she was same age as her cousin and quite a bit older than our youngest who was training. She watched all day and when she went home she just started using the potty. She had turned three about a month before.


All because you want him to be potty trained doesn’t mean it will happen, especially if his body can’t sense the signs. Every child is different all because some do potty train now doesn’t mean your son is ready. My son was 3 and a 1/4 when I potty trained him as I waited until he was ready. We spent two weeks wearing pj bottoms when inside (didn’t put pressure on him when we went out to avoid panic and public accidents) He cracked it in those 2 weeks because his body was ready. He still wore night time pull ups while sleeping till he was 4 and a half, because again his body wasn’t ready.

We used rewards for when he pooped, we had little disney tsum tsums and I’d have a big box of them so he could pick one and he showed it to everyone who all ooed and awwwed at it.

The worst thing you can do is make him feel bad for not doing it, or making a mess in his pants as you’re linking potty training to negative emotions which will only prolong training. If his body isn’t ready then it isn’t ready no matter what you try. Be happy he gots wees down. Explain to him he’s in pull ups in case he poos but he can still go potty for wees and over time it will click for him but with lots of verbal praise and encouragement.


Lots of children develop a fear around pooing in the toilet, they feel like they’re losing something. There’s a book called poo goes to pooland that seems to have helped alot of children.


Punishment when toilet training is cruelty and won’t work , just be consistent and always give him the opportunity to do it in the toilet , best of luck


As a mama of two boys (now 10 and 8) they will not potty train until they are ready. All you can do is continue support and encouragement of being a big boy and acting extremely ecstatic when it happens!! I highly reccomend mattress covers and mattress potty pads. You will do a lot of washes of sheets but them sleeping without a pull-up or diaper helps immensely!!


My daughter was the same way. She was freaked out to poop in the potty. So one day i took her poop and made her stay on it while she pooped. She tried to say she was done, she tried to get off, she even started crying. I made her stay. And when she pooped she freaked out. But i started doing a happy dance and gave her a treat and she started pooping all on her own. She had a mini freak out and when she seen me celebrating her poop she stopped being scared of pooping in the potty.


My daughter still has this issue with pooping and she’s 5 in December!! She’s toilet trained with wees and she actually has been pooping in the toilet the last few months HOWEVER if she is playing etc no hope she will go on the toilet!! I’m praying she will figure it out before school next year :woman_facepalming:t3::woman_facepalming:t3::weary::weary:


I have 2 boys, and they were much older when they finally trained (like 3 1/2). I worked really hard to try to coax the older one, but it was nothing until he decided to do it. And when he did, it was like flipping a light switch. He literally had 1 accident, ever, after that. I didn’t push so hard with the younger one, and it went about the same. I’d say yours isn’t ready and may be too young.

Your expecting to much. Hes simply not ready. Dont pressure him and definatly dont punish him by throwing his toys away. That’s dreadful parenting. Not only will it upset him that uv thrown out one of his toys but he will start to resent you for it. Not to mention its wastefullness.
Take the pressure off, let him wear pants it he messes them change him and take him to the toilet and show him as u tip the poo Into the loo. Do this everytime. He will evenly understand. Just don’t punish him :sob:


I am In the same boat, and it has regressed big-time. My LO is 2.5yo, he is awesome at wees but will hold his poo until night time and do it as soon as we put nighttime nappy, so I have stepped back and let him lead again. He has just started going poo in pants now this week…so I hoping that it just clicks. Gotta love the toilet training stage I do not use a potty either just the toilets.

Please don’t use rewards and punishments. You can only lower his self esteem by doing that. Talk to him about the things he can already do as a 3 year old - wow! You can ride a bike, you can eat food all by yourself, you run so fast, you are so helpful when you pack away your toys, you are such a kind brother etc etc.

Then say, your body is not quite ready on the inside to be going to the toilet by yourself, but one day it will be. We will help you.

You have to bring your child in close, not bribe or reward. You can see it hasn’t worked, now you have to make amends. Rewards NEVER work, never!


Tell your son to go follow daddy in the bathroom… Kids mimick their parents especially their father. My son was 11 months old if he could say poo, pee and no it was on and popping!! He watched his dad and no accidents slip up or overnight boo boos! People saying you’re a dreadful mother can kick rocks doesn’t sound like their helping you either. My opinion is to daddy take him and show him especially since he’s the one with a penis and sit a potty chair next to the real one and y’all go together!! Hope everything works out for you guys :kissing_heart::kissing_heart::kissing_heart:


I have potty trained 8 kids. I always take them when I go and if someone else is here I get them to take them to we use a potty to start and ours always says good job when they go. Plus I always tell them they have done a good job weather they did it or not. Tell them it was a good try and we can see if your body wants to later. All were trained and could wash their hands and wipe by 2 and a half or 3 at the latest

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Some kids don’t like the feeling of the poop falling. I know that sounds weird, but if you are using a little potty, try opening a diaper in the opening of the potty for him to poop into, to help transition.

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Our son was the same way. Every night I’d put a pull up on him he would poop in it. I’d change him and he’d be dry all night. No accidents ever. Just wouldn’t poop in the toilet. He turned 3 and overnight he started pooping in the toilet. We asked him why. He told us that at 3 you are a big boy.
So in his little mind he had to be a big kid to poop in the toilet :woman_facepalming:
Hang in there momma it will come.
Btw he’s 12 now😁

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I had the same problem with my son.Until one day after he pooped his pants I got the majority cleaned up and then handed him a wet warm wash cloth.Hw looked at me like I had lost my mind and said it’s yucky momma.I told him I know and I didn’t want to touch it either.:joy: He was horrified because he hated getting dirty.So I made him wipe his own butt,he thought anyway,there wasn’t much to clean.But he made a huge turn around after that .


My granddaughter just turned three in June and in Middle of May they started training her. It took accidents both kind and all of a sudden she got the pee and runs to potty herself. Poop took a while longer. She would hide and go but tell you after. Then one day while playing you could see she felt it and recognized she needed to poop ran to pot went and has gone since. We gave her a few little things from Targets dollar section but we also she was excited and so were we. She is now fully trained. It comes to them give him time and unfortunately accidents come with training. When it clicks he will be so excited because he knows that is what he’s been trying to learn for him and you. And yes boys are a little harder. I had both and girl was easier but both were trained right after turning three. Some people start to early and just like puppies their little bodies need to develop. My doctor told me to start when they wake up dry that means their bladder is developed enough.
Keep encouraging him it will come.

My boy would never use a potty, he was a big boy he used toilet like mum and dad


Please don’t throw stuff away, you will traumatise him. Psychiatrists say our problems start at potty training. Just keep him wearing pull ups. Encourage him, don’t make a big fuss. Trust me , he will succeed. Hugs.


I stated training my babies as infants. After they ate I sat them on the potty. They learned to grunt and let me know they had to go. I had to use cloth diapers and I didn’t like to wash dirty diapers. They were in training pants at one year olds. They didn’t like to pee down their legs. It worked for me. If moms had to wash dirty diapers they would find a way.


The best way, is to keep the potty in the bathroom for 1 , bc honestly putting it anywhere else causes issues too , but I’d you throw cheerios or fruit loops into the toilet , and tell him to get the cereal works like a charm, I did it with both my boys and they were both potty trained by 1 , and pull ups at bedtime until they wake up dry , good luck :heart::heart::heart::heart:

Boys seem to take longer than girls. I wouldn’t fret over it. Give him lots of love and more time

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My grandson took forever , but eventually he will. He use to crawl under the table, and I would go get him and put him on the potty. I have no idea why boys do that. When my daughter was little, she never had any problems. He will do it when he is ready. For some reason boys take longer. Good luck

My oldest son went through something similar when we were potty training him. My great nephew did as well. He is probably not ready quite yet.

My son is 3 and hes still not fully potty trained because he isn’t completely ready yet. He uses the potty about 80% of the time but there’s days he slacks and doesn’t tell me at all that he has to go. He will learn at his own pace just because one kid done it at a certain age doesn’t mean they all do!

My son did the same around 3, he peed just fine in the potty but would poop in there for another 6 months or so, we just let him do his thing, let him take his tablet in there with him and before too long he was going like a pro, he’s 4 1/2 now and has never even had an accident and we have no issues

Fit a child training toilet seat onto your toilet. Worked for ours. Good luck.

Most boys are at the age of three when the are ready. Be patient.

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Patience and persistence. My son was the same at that age, it wasn’t until around 3.5yrs that something clicked and always goes to the toilet for last few months. I didn’t do anything different, all of it must have just sunk in at that point.

Have you talked to him? My son has been very vocal and well spoken since 2 1/2. Ask him what bothers him about pooping in the potty. Read books? Make up a craft about pooping that makes it silly or a treasure hunt or something. I know I may sound crazy but maybe the silly may break the “scare”. I haven’t had this problem lucky due to my son being very much against dirtiness on him in anyway.

I had this issue with my daughter, instead i put the child seat on the toilet and she just went on the normal toilet, it made her feel so much bigger than going on the potty, try to make a game of it

My son turned 3 last week, isn’t potty trained at all. Any advise? He doesn’t seem to know when he needs a wee so I’m assuming he isn’t ready? Anytime I’ve tried without a nappy he ends up weeing on the floor :woman_shrugging:

Get a smaller toilet seat that fits the bathroom one, been there ourselfs takes patience as soon as we told ours its time to be a big boy, lots of encouragement know his routine and get to a big toilet. Good luck.

I cried once when my youngest wouldn’t go on the potty. I just brokedown out of stress. He got it within a week. He didn’t want to upset me like that and it broke my heart. He had accidents here and there after but for the most part he got it down. It’s a muscle thing I think. Little kids have to learn how to use those muscles and how to feel it coming early enough to engage those muscles. We adults don’t think about it because we go all the time on the toilet. But your not born taught how to use them and there’s no guide on how to. I’d say just Time and talking with him each time.

First Remind yourself he won’t go to college not potty trained.

Then accept he will do it in his own time and any pressure regardless of how well intended/ disguised as a treat will only delay.

Kindly, Veteran Mom of 4

I worked at a daycare, and we literally had this kid who was almost 4 and all of us teachers and his parents were trying to get him to poop on the potty. The ONLY thing that worked was we once made him clean it up himself (wipe himself up and put his pants in a bag, we helped a little) but it grossed him out and he was on the potty fully like less than a week later because he just didn’t want to deal with his own mess.

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Had same problem with my son. We stopped using diapers and got him cloth underwear. Plus we bought him hot wheels as a reward, that he got to choose from after he went poop. Never punish him for having an accident, you will do more harm than good.

It’s developmental, some kids don’t till they’re 4/5, keep praising him when he does go and don’t stress when he doesn’t

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Find him a toy he really likes but give it to him ONLY when he pops in the potty

Every time u go have him go sit and try. That’s what we did and worked perfectly. Don’t punish. Encourage. Another thing that helped is while he sitting on toilet tickle his lower back. Idk why but some days when my son would refuse to go that did the trick.

He’s not ready to do it, when he can’t stand his own poop on him, he will be ready.

I had a similar issue with my daughter. I left her in underwear and threw them our if she pooped in them. ( I wasn’t cleaning that up or putting that in with the rest of the laundry.) Didn’t make a big deal about it. Just said, Oh well, poop happens. Found out, she wanted privacy when she pooped. I left the door open a crack, gave her a board book to look at and sat out in the hall. She eventually got it under control but right before she turned 3. Poop is harder for them to predict because they usually only go once a day. The sensation is different than pee. I did give her a big reward though because her nursery school wouldn’t change diapers. She had to be trained or she couldn’t go to school. So, I get where mom is coming from too. Every child is different. I’ve heard of children being trained at 2, especially if there is an older sibling around. I’ve also heard of children taking until almost 4 with the bowel movements. If he’s got the pee down, he’s on his way.

I dont have any children, but my mom raised all of us 7 sisters 1 brother and helped watch the neighbor hood kids , so the parents didn’t have to pay for a sitter , I remember with my neices and nephew she did this thing when we was all about to go to the store or the park, anywhere . She would say " ok everyone were gunna leave the house everyone go use the restroom b4 we go , and all of us older ones new the drill, that she was making it like a game, we would go pretend to use the restroom , and laugh and make a game outta of it, the younger children would smile and laugh and wanna participate, ne t thing you know they would be in the restroom saying " I’m all done grandma Susie, like everyone else". The whole town called her grandma , she was a lovely woman, I miss her much , I hope maybe this might help .


I sat my kids backwards on the toilet, they could put their hands on the sides and felt more secure that way . Didn’t take long to train them .

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Try putting his poop in the toilet ans showing him that’s where it goes and we do it on the toilet maybe let him flush the toilet try to make it has fun as possible while using the toilet. Maybe let him pick out his own toilet seat if he didn’t do it already so he will be excited to use it. Maybe put him on the toilet when he usually poops like in the afternoon or put him on the toilet every 2 hrs if he still pee still encourage him still too poop. U don’t want them to be scared or fear it or pressure him to much about it. Maybe ask him every 2 hrs if he needs to use the bathroom. If he gets scared it can take even longer for him to be potty train good luck hope this helps

I found using a toilet seat with steps really helped my son, you can get them from amazon, argos etc…

Mine pees only in potty no number 2 but i dont take anything away i actually reward him for asking to be changed when he goes number 2 he always says thank you after we change him or help him hes 4

If its been going on too long talk to your doctor, there maybe more at play here than what you realize.

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2 is too young…I didn’t poop in the potty till I was 4…
I was playing outside and another little girl went in to poop a d I watched her and did it from that day forward

My son was like this. He was using the toilet from 18 months then all of a sudden stopped so we decided he’d be ready in his own time. He’s not long turned 3. He still has the odd accident but he goes to the toilet now. It helped that when my husband went for a wee he’d ask our son if he wanted to go with him so it kinda showed him that this is what you do. Just has lots of praise wverytime he goes. He refused to use the potty so we got him some steps with a seat that goes over the loo so if he needs a poo he puts that on himself.
Try not to push because it’s more than likely going to put them off. They’re all ready in their own time :heart:

Get a book and read it to him everyday and show him the pictures & when you go tell him so he knows it’s not scary and you do it too

My mom always said boys.are harder to train than girls. go for the. Summer don’t

By Fall things will be.different

My grandson was over 4 before he could poop in the potty.

It is his poo, not yours. He has the final say about it. The fact that you punished him for pooing his pants is just tragic. He resents you for what you have done and will prolong the pooing to get back at you even if he doesn’t totally get that is what he is doing. He will poo in the potty when he is ready and not a day sooner.

Pooping takes much longer for children to do poops on the toilet.
Just keep praising and be patient.
It will happen.
My son was toilet trained at 2 with wee and out of night nappies by 3 .
Saying this he would not do a poo on the toilet.
He used to tell me when he needed to do a poo and I would have to pit a nappy on him to dogs poo.
This went on until he was 6.
I took him to a paediatric doctor.
He said some times and mainly with boys this can happen.
I never went mad at him and had to wait until he was ready.
He was so proud after he did it on the toilet the first poop and never looked back.
He is 18 now and when I tell him he says WTF lol.

You’ve definitely made things worse for yourself when you started throwing things away, traumatized the poor kid

Just leave him to it such an achievement to have got the peeing part. The pooping will come in time he won’t like the feel of it and just do it himself. My 31/2 year old daughter has only just come out of nappies like ur son got the peeing part straight away pooping took about a month. Sounds gross but I scooped it out of her pants with a wetwipe and she came with me to flush it and say goodbye as that’s where 'poop goes she got it in the end and stills waves goodbye to it lol he’s still so little xx

If you have a man around let the little guy go in with daddy when daddy goes and daddy can explain that he doesn’t like messy pants and he likes a clean bum. You all should re enforce that that you like clean bums and teach toilet paper use. That’s why I call it training.

Boys are slower at this skill, and you just have to maintain, persist and love em.

Put a loo light in the toilet it faster them to spend time in there encourage him when he dose strait up hi 5 yes boy u got this make a big deal bout if between u n him did this with my son hope it helps

I have 3 boys the first was easy it took a week. Than number 2 he was probably 3 and 1/2 he had his own agenda and thank god it finally happened.

Ask someone else to tell him no poopy in the big boy underwear :woman_shrugging:
Someone outside of your house but someone you both trust so he doesn’t get too embarrassed about going

Just chill! Not many people haven’t trained by their teens - it happens

He’s not even 3. Don’t push him. He’ll do it in his own time regardless what you do.

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We got him white underpants and Superman underpants…we had him wear the white ones and if he could keep them clean and dry for a period of time, he could wear the superman underwear. If he messed those, it was back to the whitey tighties. Gradually the clean times lasted longer and longer.
One of my sons was anxious to see his poop flush away…so we started waving goodbye as it flushed away and told it to go find the other poops to keep company with…I know that sounds crazy, but it finally worked. (There was some psycho babble about the child losing a part of himself…idk…it just worked)

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Get him a pot that makes noise or 1 that looks like a toilet (2 hype him up) get a box of fruit loops & turn it n2 a game & tell him lets go shoot some fruit loops & see how many colors he can get like how many purple or reds or yellow…or if that doesn’t work (you’re a dad or a mom with a lot of time on her hand) do the same thing but this at the toilet (dad)put fruit loops in the toilet & u play shoot the fruit loops with him (mom) get a water bottle & fill it of course & u play it with him until him wanna play by himself…i did the same with my boys YEARS ago

Just make sure when you type the title that you check it has 2 x o in it or the hate police will be around

Get a training seat for the normal toilet and step to get up, hes still young let him do it in his own time, there is no age limit, no point in getting angry and frustrated, just let him decide when hes ready, be patient, because you still need to clean him anyway,

Have you tried that when he needs to fo sitting him on the big toilet and distract him with a video on your mobile

He’s not ready, and you’re punishing him for it.

He will train when he is ready. Punishment isn’t the answer. Have patience.

He’s only 2…he will poop when he’s ready, what’s the rush?

Back off until he is ready.

Outside. Have them tag along with dad or a male figure. There’s something about bushes and guys.

Punishing him for pooing himself isnt going to help!!! Give the poor kid a break! He will get there when hes ready

I’ve heard that some parents make their kids wash their undies by hand if they poop in them. :woman_shrugging:. I’m not sure how effective it is.

Throw Cheerios into the toilet as targets! Make potty time fun!

Your doing a great job. Be patient. :heart:

Keep offering but he will go when he ready too like his wee

O yeah…or u can play swords with him with the pee😉 u know his pee is a sword & your pee or water bottle is a sword

Your doing everything right just keep at it

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He will do this when he is ready, don’t push him because this will send him backwards.

My daughter did a wee wee in the potty and toilet straight away from potty training. Pooing took a little while longer, we just had to be understanding as getting cross with them isn’t helping. It’s a massive thing and needs time. Punishment isn’t the way forward though (I get your frustrations and not being judgemental) just understanding and compassion I think will get better results x
Good luck! He will get there :slightly_smiling_face: 2 is still very young! X

Spank that butt a couple times and he will be all trained

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Now don’t get mad… but it’s not much different than house training a pup. For a few days keep tract of his schedule. Then start putting him on the potty around that time. Try to keep him distracted until the deed is done


Omg! We are just starting and now I m scared lol

That’s one way to traumatize him and get him not to trust you.

When mine was young, I made a big thing of saying ’ I need a poo’ ’ I need the toilet’ whilst holding my bum and dancing around, ’ I can feel’ ’ I can feel it coming’ and take my son with me whilst business was being done. I set up a purely psychological association with needing the toilet and that he whole family did it. Make it fun, silly stupid. This worked for me! We never used a traditional potty, he went straight onto the big toilet with a toilet potty chair. This way also depends on the family views of bodily functions and sharing the fact you are going for a poop! :joy: get everyone in on it.

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