I am in love with someone much younger than me: Advice?

My mom is 50 and her boyfriend is 34. Hes not ashamed of her at all. My mom look good for her age and they get along alright. But 25 is pretty young in general. Im 32 and I’d have reserves about dating someone that young. Always remember most men mature much much slower than women do. It could work, but it maybe rocky. Depending on what you both really want in life.
But…if you have money or are financially stable and he ain’t I’d run! Don’t need no young guy sniffing around for an easy mommy money bags.

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Hey I look at it this way if you love eachother why care what anyone else thinks it’s your love life not there’s your both grownups so it shouldn’t matter

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I feel like he needs to be okay with the age difference before you’ll be able to move forward. Nobody else’s opinion should matter when it comes to your heart except his, yours, and your children’s. You also need to talk to him about children with him… Does he want one, are you able to and willing to have another? Those are the only 2 glaring things I see before you jump in together. Good luck!!! I hope he’s your forever true love.

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I think he cares but he doesn’t want to be committed.
The age difference bothers him more ,than the affection he has for you. Age is nothing but a number I am 39 and my husband 29 ,we have a baby and we love each other very much

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I’m always the one who tries to encourage to follow their heart and give all you can so you have no doubts you gave your all. But I’ve come to an epiphany recently after dealing with a man for 2 years that I thought I was helping heal. But turns out I was just getting all my happiness sucked from me. I’m still single and lonely. But it feels sooo good to finally know your worth and just not allowing the same man to continue to hurt you. You can’t make yourself stop caring. So my advice is to try and make yourself smile every night before you go to bed and start to see how beautiful you are. You won’t see the difference but that repetitive action will boost your self esteem and it’ll be easier to raise your worth and without even trying you will start to drift away from anyone not giving you what you deserve. The way I heal myself every night is I smoke and dance to Jamaican pop on my Alexa and dance in the mirror in my bathroom for like a good hour. It’s my time.

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life is too short to worry about what other people may think!!! Drink the wine, eat the steak, enjoy yourself.

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Move on! He’s not for you if he can’t commit. You’re old enough to know that.

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Have a talk with him and see if he will commit or leave. It’s not worth your time to be toyed with by anyone.

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Age is just a number. If your in love you don’t care what anybody thinks. Follow your gut! Not your Heart!

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You’re right, there’s nothing wrong with age difference… and if he can’t see that, and keeps using that as an excuse… I would walk away. He’s the one worried about the age difference… he’s worried what people will think. And he leaves then comes back to you when it’s convenient. 25 years old is old enough to know to handle business. I wish you the best I know it’s easier said than done but you asked us what we thought. I wish you healing and nothing but the best. You deserve a man that will do anything and everything for you and WITH you. :heart:

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I had a wonderful relationship with someone 16 yrs younger…we were married 22 yrs…until she had a heart attack and died

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If you’re in love, then it doesn’t matter what others think. Sounds like he isn’t fully there because he is letting the fear win over love.

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Your both adults. I am 38. The love of my life is 24 and I am carrying what will be his only child. Love happens how it’s happens. As long as your adults and happy it doesn’t matter. I’ve honestly never been happier and my 7 kids from my previous marriage love him. He’s has been a dad and amazing role model to all of them. No judgement here. Be happy! He needs to know that it doesn’t matter what his family thinks or what others think. If your happy be you. My husband and a family didn’t agree they wanted to choose his spouse and his life he told them NO and walked away. If they want to be in our life they will come around. If not that’s ok too.

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Forget the age difference… if he has issues with commitment… walk away!
Sometimes we women are so used to mothering! That’s what’s happening here. Every time he calls you are responding.
Forget the age!
Treat it like any other relationship.
Love has no age!

Move on and let him move on too! He’s probably using you emotionally or is stuck!
It could be painful but make this decision for your own self and his sake too!
He’s not ready to commit to a fully functional relationship!
It’s going to be very painful but…
All the best to you! :heart::+1:

Its nothing to do with age. I was 23 and married someone 19 yrs older than me. He was the one who couldn’t settle down. (Now that im 32 I see things more clearly… Oh to be young lol)
And this is a sign of immaturity. He is not ready for a relationship. This can happen at any age not just because he is younger than you… But all the red flags are there, stay away. Stand your ground because you deserve better!!

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Cougar girl he’s using you for his blue ball syndrome. You’re just his side of convenience I would actually love to say my impression is wrong but want your heart to be prepared just in case. I mean does he want kids one day? Have you discussed that ?

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Age doesn’t matter. My husband is 15 years older than and we don’t notice. I know there is a social double standard that it’s ok when the guy is older and not ok if the woman is older but that’s THEIR problem, not yours, they won’t be a part of the relationship, you 2 are, if they don’t like it they can look the other way. Why do you have to sacrifice your happiness for society and community?

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Hunny, I met my husband when I was 18, he was 43. We have been together for 8 years and have a 6 year old daughter. Don’t let it bother you, age is just a number. I feared people would look and think of us in the wrong way. Do what you want!

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If he really loved you the way you deserve than the age difference wouldn’t matter. You should be loved by someone who wants to shout out to the world that you’re his!

If he truly loves you it wouldn’t matter the age or his parents or his friends.

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Move on with someone that’s not ashamed of your age he’s too young.

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Don’t settle for what you get. Aim for what you deserve. Remember that what you go through is what your children will consider NORMAL. Would you want your child in a relationship where their partner doesn’t show them off in public? EXACTLY. Always REMEMBER YOUR WORTH. :heart:

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I went through this once in my life at 41. If he really loved you he would fight for you and not care what every one else thought. He would stand with you and defend your love

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25 yr old men very rarely have the level of loyalty and commitment a mature woman with grown children deserves. I enjoy my young love for what it is, while being aware of reality. If you cant enjoy what he adds to your life without expecting a husband, let it go.

As a mother of boys, I’d be highly upset if my 25 year old son is with someone just a few years younger than me.

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If he truely loved you he wouldn’t care what others think. I have a friend who is 45 and married to a 23 year old. At first she was nervous about the age gap but gave her now husband a chance. They are a cute couple. It really sounds like he’s just using you amd wants you when it’s convenient for him.

Do the grown up adult thing and distance yourself. He needs to grow up. Let him go on with his life.

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Looks like you are his booty call… you are easy for him… sorry about being harsh but that’s the truth… if there was love he wouldn’t hesitate to show you off to the world…

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I’m 41 and my husband is 30. It works for us. He is my person and our relationship just works. Good luck!! I’m soo happy I did not let our age difference get in the way.

Life is too short! Live life to its fullest! Age shouldn’t matter if you’re in love!!

I say age is just a number. My husband and I are 18 years apart. He is 60 and I am 42. Live life and don’t worry about what everyone else thinks. If your kids are okay with it, go for it! :blush:

My husband and I are 14 yrs apart. We got together when I was 19 and he was 33. We just celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary on 7/18 and have been together a total of 24 yrs. we have 3 sons together and are also raising 2 of his granddaughters, that’s right granddaughters. But they are our girls. We are mom and dad to all 5. Best of luck hun. Follow your heart and f**k everyone else :purple_heart::purple_heart::purple_heart:

He’s young and loves to play games with your heart. You had your fun (sorry if it sounded harsh) time to move on, and tell him the same thing I said. Stay strong!

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Walk away… girl you don’t have time to wait for him to grow up and make up his mind. A man that wants you will WANT you! Sounds like you are the back up If months pass and he then calls u. Idc about the age gap … but the way he’s acting… he’s not interested period!

Don’t be with anyone who isn’t proud to be yours. :slightly_smiling_face:

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You are passing his time and making him feel good. Stop this. Unless you are 100% ok with how it is now, leave. It’s your life and your choice. Your decision to keep engaging in this energy and space :woman_shrugging:t2: I couldn’t do it personally.

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Do you want or need it to be permanent? If he makes you happy why not see it out til the relationship dissolves or not. Relationships don’t have to be forever to be good

Life is short. He’s of age and are you. If you love each other. Age is only a number ,if your both happy with each other then follow your gut and be happy.

I suggest following your heart. Who cares about age… but i would be cautious of anyone willing to deny being with you stricktly based on that. You are a beautiful woman he should be proud to show you off. He is verging on sugar mama territory right there…

Im 13 years younger than my husband and i never cared wat anyone had to say but that’s just my personality. And we are about to have 9 years together in September. U can’t help who u fall inlove with so just go with it or else u will regret it. Atleast try and if it doesn’t work out then o well u tried.

If he is not proud to he with you, find someone who will be. He’s just using you.

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My husband is 10 years older than me. We have 2 kids together and a 3rd on the way. Many of his “so called friends and family” told him it wouldnt work. I was too young for him and he needed a more mature older chick his age. We’ve been together for 4 years now. We’ve had our ups and downs but we havent doubted our love for one another. We were meant to be.

How come it is alright for men but not woman?
Hun my grandma and grandpa were 12 years apart, my aunt & uncle 11 my cousin and her husband like 20. Me and my baby daddy 9. Age is just a number. My grandparents together till the day he died, my aunt and uncle, same.
You have to find happiness were you can. Life is to short to worry about who is going to care. Let them judge if they want. If it is love than it’s love. People can’t always understand. The only people that need to understand it is the two of you. No one else.

After like 21 age is just a number. Emotional maturity is much more important than age. I’ve dated men older than myself my whole life and 75 percent of them were still less mature than I was.

Take care of yourself and set boundaries. He is using you. Stay strong for you

My aunt and uncle were 20+ years apart, when my aunt was born my uncle was on his second tour of duty in the navy during viet nam. They had children and a long full life together as my uncle passed away at the age of 82 a few years ago.

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Age doesn’t matter it’s the connection, love and respect that does, I am 41 and am in a relationship with a younger guy, first partner I’ve had younger and its the best relationship ive had, we have been together over 1 1/2 years now and at the start he was funny in public with me were it hurt me and I stood up to him and told him if that is how he is going great me its over I deserve better than that, he changed and owned up to our relationship and now he pretty much lives with me and my child and has no problem in public or telling anyone I am hes Mrs, it all comes down to if he loves u he wouldnt care what anyone thinks and would be proud to have u by hes side were ever he goes, u need to respect urself love don’t let anyone hurt u

I’m 41, my husband is 29. happily married for 5 years, we’ve known each other for 9. I brought 4 kids into our relationship and he is the very best dad ever!! We even own a business and work together now. We are very best friends and we are pretty equally yoked which is the biggest plus. We serve together too💕

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My boyfriend is 23 years older than me. He’s walked away once from fear of me walking away from him. But I told him if he did it again he would be too unstable for me to date seriously.

I have been in a committed relationship with my so for 9 years. We have an 8 year old son too. This man, tells me every day that I am beautiful and that he loves our family. Is it easy? Of course not. But what relationship is? By the way I’m 19 yrs older then my bf.

Give him an ultimatum either he is committed to you or he is single. You have to love yourself first and I know that’s hard walking away from someone you love …but hun he is clearly not getting the picture…good luck your stronger then you know :+1:

It’s not the age difference that’s the issue. Unless he stands up for you and your relatuonship, pushing through with it seems not worth the heartache. Is he planning to have you as his hidden girlfriend? For how long? Are you willing to endure that? For how long? You deserve someone who’s proud of you.

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My parents are 17 years apart and have been married 38 years. (my dad was 35 and my mom was 17…) crazy. So it totally can work but both parties have to be comfortable with it. I wasnt around obviously when they first got together but they never had issues.

Sister, you’re his dirty little secret. A man who enjoys you yet isn’t proud enough to acknowledge you isn’t in love. He’s just enjoining the ride. Dismiss him and invest your time into someone more worthy or even better yet yourself!

Girl… take the age difference out of the equation.

This man is ashamed to be with you around his community and family. BYE BOY!

Now you know that you deserve better than this. You need to fall back in love with yourself honey. This is NOT THE ONE!

Sorry beautiful but Don’t let your “boyfriend” keep you from your husband. He is wasting your time and his time, only difference is he has time to waste and you not so much. (No offense) he’s either all in or all out… I just went through something similar, he is gaslighting you. You just need to leave and never look back. I wasted five years on a man who fathered my child on the last year. I went through my entire pregnancy alone still thinking I could forgive him and love him and he tried to convince me I could too. Enough was just enough, my baby is now 18 months and I just got engaged to a man I’ve been seeing since she was 3 months old and we are about to get married.( Covid kind of messed the original plan up) If a man wants you, he makes you his, regardless of what others may think. He’s keeping you as an option when you should be a priority. You don’t need us to help validate what you already know :woman_shrugging:

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Move on, three years? He is an immature young man.

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Well my husband and I have been married 38 years in September. I am six years older than him. Six years or twelve years really doesn’t make a difference. If he is mature enough emotionally and financially and so are you there should be no problems. God bless.

Give him an ultimatum- put his big boy pants on and introduce u to his family as his girlfriend or stop wasting ur time. I’m 33 and my husband is 55. Age is just a number- we’ve been together for 10+ years, married 4, have two children together and he has other kids that are closer to My age range. My family of course had worries and so did his family due to the age gap- I was more hesitant than him at the beginning but then it came to a point when I just didn’t care and it worked out well. But, like any relationship there’s obstacles that u have to overcome together, We’re very happy together. Good luck and follow ur instincts.

If you live some one it dont matter how old you are my dad was 8 years older then my mom but they loved one another but stras do it all the time women always oder then some man but older man with younger woman tell him how you fill he loves you dont matter what people say who cares

Well everyone has to live with their choices regardless of what others think or believe-it’s you who have to answer to yourself-and no one else-same with your friend-ppl will eventually get over it and look past the age gap-just like we finally look past color and interrelationships-but I also believe that your friend is that insecure with himself to look past it to and is missing out on an AWSOME relationship that he could have with you-eventually you will tire of this

My 25 year old son has an older girlfriend. She has 3 older children. They love him and he loves them. He is a great stepdad. We love her and her children. She is great for him.

I have been married for 35 years and he is 10 years younger than me we get along just fine tell him if he loves you it don’t matter

Love knows no age. If he truly loved you he would not care what others think.

If he can’t see how you feel by now, then it’s time to let him go. He’s not emotionally ready to be in the kind of relation you want. The maturity level is huge, he may act like he’s okay with the age difference, but in all actuality, he’s definitely not. I’ve been in your shoes, but only for 3 months, but it was very similar. Good luck…

I have friends with 25 years age difference, yes she is older. They just celebrated their 29th wedding anniversary! Enjoy sister :heavy_heart_exclamation:

He is just using you when he has no one else, and you allow it. I personally wouldn’t date that much younger, but that’s me. As long as you allow it, it will keep going on and you will never find someone to enjoy your life with

Age is just a number. I was 18 when I met my husband and he was 35. We had several who made comments or disapproved. But we had so much in common and I was mature for my age. We have been married now 18 years and together 22. We never cared what others thought.

I recently have been listening to podcasts I am addicted to Oprah Winfrey soul searching podcasts. She recently said. “You are in charge of your own race… just like you were your own shoes no one else does. You do. Own them”

My cousin is 10 years older than her husband and they have been married 33 years. 15 years when the woman is older might be a stretch but not impossible. The thing that stands out is that you keep getting hurt, and after 3 years, you both should know where you stand in the long run. An old country song, “If It Don’t Come Easy,” by Tanya Tucker was my motto. The right one is out there for you.

Angel gage is right im 61 my wife is 30 we r best friends even before we got married she wants to spend every minute we get together age don’t matter to us he has a problem with it

I would go through the pros and cons of the situation. Ultimately you need to do what’s best for you. If you already have walked away for the above mentioned reasons and things don’t seem to change then it sounds like you already have made a decision.

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My fiancé works with a guy who’s in his thirties and his woman is almost 60. There happy. I mean if you both seriously want it to work then you have to remember that at the end of the day people are going to talk about you no matter what you do or who your with. What matters is whether y’all make each other happy.

You’re not gonna like this but I’m just being honest. As the mother of 2 boys in their early 20’s a woman your age would never walk again if she ever attempted to be with either of my sons. You’re getting hurt and he’s not wanting this relationship out there because you’re “old” to a 25 year old. You think 25 is mature? You said it’s been going on for 3 years so he was 22 when it began? And you were 38? Come on be serious. Did you really think this was going to work? Set the little fella on his way and you find someone your own age. You’re both wasting time.

Sounds like he wants you to love his insecurities away, almost in a maternal sense. But WHATEVER the reason, if he isn’t willing to commit to being in a relationship, all of the aspects of a relationship, then you are better off investing in someone else.

Back off if he is to afraid to come out about the relationship then you don’t need him. Regardless of his age he should want to tell the world about you and how much he loves you not hide it. So it sounds to me like he is using you for a convenience date where he loves you when he wants too

My thought is he is 25 and you have grown kids and grandkids. He is so young what if he wants kids? Are you willing and able to do that? I think men have it easy. They date young women no problem because their sperm is still capable at any age :joy: maybe not the best swimmers but you get my drift. Plus he is hiding it after 3 years seems sketchy. Proceed with caution for your heart :heart:

My husband is 14 years younger then me I too was 43 and fell in love but I was very lucky to have had him give his :100: percent to me I don’t question anymore the fact I’m older the only thing that does scare me is I am getting a lot older and no he never gonna catch up to me so as u grow older if course comes all the things that follow and that means I can’t keep up with him​:weary:in any shape or form so I would suggest if he already worrying about what people think and won’t really commit to u then there is a problem I would say move on​:weary:and try to think about ur gonna grow old and he never gonna catch up​:persevere:this is just my experience good luck :grinning:

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Hey I met my mam when I was 39 and he was 33 and we love it other so much and been together 20 years now and he 50 and I’m 57 and we still together :grinning:

I am a 28 year old woman I have been with my husband (55 years old) for what will be 8 years this dec 6th I initially thought what would people think what would they say etc but when you love someone you just know :heart: tell him to make a choice follow his heart whatever that means to him and if he can’t do it then move on.

Love has no number as long as age is very legal. If he doesn’t own up to being with you there is definitely another woman in the picture. End it or own it is his option!!##

If he truly loved you it would not be a issue. I’m sorry to be blunt but girl it’s been three years and he still hasn’t made you public or official, he obviously still has the mind set of a teen age boy! If you ask me he wants his cake and to eat it too​:woman_shrugging:t4::roll_eyes:

My boyfriend is 16 years older than me. There has never been any shame about it for either of us with our families or friends. A healthy relationship doesn’t involve shame.

My late husband was 27 years older then me and I’m remarried to a guy that is 15 years older then me,as long as you love each other and are happy that’s all that matters.

Move on I’m married to a man 12 years younger than me but he is the one that told me I was being stupid to not let us be together. I finally gave into the relationship and we’ve been married 12 years and have a 9 year old son. If both of you are not fully in then time to move on.

If it really didn’t bother him, he would be with you regardless of what society thought… my SIL is 16 yrs older than her husband. They have been married 25yrs. He is 3 months older than her son.

He is a child. Not and age thing. He may still be a child when he is 50. Find a grown up.

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When you are 61 and he is 45, he will look for a younger woman :sleepy: Right now you still look young, but in 20 years people will think you are his mother​:sleepy: Sometimes these situations work out, so I don’t mean any disrespect or hurt feelings​:two_hearts: Just my opinion​:two_hearts:

Me an my Man are just a year apart…theres no big age diffrence…but ive realized…if you truly love someone you Will fight w.e issue there is…me and my man are going on 7 Years togethor…and my family doesnt like him but we can care less…when IT came to my past relationships…they all ran…but of he truly loves you he Will lobe you for YOU and not care about Anything else

I am sorry babe but he sounds like he is using you if he says he wants to be together then says he don’t know what his family would think. Hold your ground girl. You deserve better. Like you said age is a number.

I’m 40 and engaged to a 30 yo, he’s never hidden the relationship or the age difference. If you guys aren’t together, it’s because he wants you when he wants, and he knows you’ll be there when he wants you next. It’s not the age difference at all.

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There is 19 years between my husband and I and I see it this way, if you both are happy then no one else matters. If they don’t like so be it. It’s not there relationship it’s yours and his

I’m 41 and I’d never date a 25 year old. Mostly because I’m done having kids and I’d feel guilty that I would be taking that possibility away from them. If he makes you happy then be with him. If you have that many reservations about being with him then you need to just end it for good and move on.

I’m 38 my fiance is 29. I say if you’re happy who cares. This sounds like he’s only there when it’s convenient for him though. I would step away. Sounds like a bunch of red flags.

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If he truly loves you he would not have an excuse. Move on. He is too immature for an adult relationship.

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I have a friend who is 24 yrs older than her husband. He has never hid her or their relationship from anyone. They have been together for close to 10 yrs now. He is pawpaw to her grandchildren and is happy with the decision he made not to have children of his own. If this man, truly loves you, those are questions you need to ask of him and yourself. Doea he see himself wanting his own children? If yes, then let him go, otherwise he is just playing with your heart.

I don’t think you two have a future together… He already doesn’t want it to get serious because of community and soon he will start to feel for having a baby… Can you give him a baby or babies? Stop hurting yourself and focus on someone with who you can really have some future.

If the age difference really didn’t bother him then he wouldn’t care what anyone else thinks. My husband is almost 18 yrs older then me. I never cared what anyone thought. He just wants you when it’s convenient for him.

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If you love each other it shouldn’t matter. But if he can’t accept and ignore what other people will say .He may not be as in love as he thinks he is .

I’ve been on both sides. My first husband was 13 years older and my current husband is 8 years younger. We’ll be married 13 years this year. Yes I like being married to a younger man almost all the time. He keeps me younger. Lol :joy: but he never brings up our age difference. Except when we compare grey hair. If he is worried about what people and the family thinks then he’ll never get over it. Stop the heartache There’s a lot of age difference to overcome. Don’t keep hurting yourself.