I am terrified to give birth: Advice?

I have 3 horrific pregnancy stories but then I have 3 amazing birth stories, I’d rather give birth every month for 9 months then go through pregnancy again. I had no pain relief except gas and air for the last, and honestly if you work with your body, listen to the midwife when you have to pant and you should be good. I had no stitches with 3 babies and my v is completely normal, it’s made to expand and retract back to normal. Good luck and allow yourself to enjoy the experience. X

You will cope with whatever is thrown at you,why else do women keep going back. I’ve had three births all different,all with a bit of drama.Try to enjoy your pregnancy

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Not a silly question at all. Everyone is different so if someone tells you that you won’t be able to get through without meds or that it’s really painful, don’t listen to them. It just makes your worries worse. You may not even feel a thing! This is YOUR experience, YOUR body, not someone else’s. Do what makes you feel comfortable. When the baby comes, it’s going to be one of the greatest things in your life.

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My best advice: go into it without a plan. Having a plan not go as planned causes more of a panic in my opinion. Allowing yourself to let go of the control and letting your body guide you into the decisions will give you a more positive experience. Medicine these days can help prevent tears and help with soreness afterwards (DONT be afraid to ask your nurses for something!) Most women go through delivery (or deliveries) and still say “I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat” because everything ends up being okay. Your body heals, your baby grows, and you end up being just fine!

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I have had 2 c sections. Not by choice for the first but good lord I’m so glad I didn’t have to push them out :flushed::sweat_smile: recovery was a lot, but I have a high pain tolerance. The convenience of having it scheduled, and not actually going into labor was great. But recovery was A LOT. If choosing a c section is what you decide to go with, just be willing to ask for help. I didn’t, and I paid for it.

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Consider a birth doula. Birth coach. Mostly follow your own heart and your body. The only thing that I am strongly against is pitocin to speed things up.

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My mom always said the worst pain but the most easily forgotten you’ll be fine and the reward is a true blessing from God ! You’ll be so over joyed to see the new life you created that you’ll forget about the pain I had my first 10 days before I turned 20, having that new baby in your arms makes it so worth it and it’s more pressure then pain

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U fortunately either way it’s going to hurt no matter what birth u go for, c section 6 weeks of pain vaginal birth pain whilst in labour and possibly some pain after depends if u tear graze ect, my experience (Iv had 5) water birth was the best for the pain it completely relaxed me, my first I had an epidural I regret it ever since (12yeaes ago) my back is in pieces all the time

It’s not nearly as bad as some of the horror stories. If you push for about 5-6 seconds at a time you shouldn’t tear. But I’ve been told you don’t really feel the tearing anyway. I had to have a C-section and it was kinda rough but I swear I’d do it 1000 more times to have my sweet baby girl! Once the baby comes it makes it all worth while!! Just do the epidural. It’s not bad at all! I was really afraid of having a needle stuck in my back but I barely felt it!

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I slept through my labor (the dad got to sleep too as we had been up many hours for 3 days with false labor starts that would stop) and didn’t really get woken up until the nurses tracking my monitor said it was time. Was painful when the contractions started though nothing overwhelming, then in hospital I went right to epidural and felt comfortable for the first time in like 3 months and slept. Honestly, I would have had one of those truly blessed birthing events if not for a couple hiccups with some internal tearing and bleeding though all my issues were caught very quickly and tended to.

Attend a local birthing class. You will learn how to work with your body, and breathe pain away. As you learn WHAT your body is doing each stage along, you will appreciate what’s happening without fear. " EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING AS IT SHOULD"’ will be your mantra of peace and control. Working with nature will empower you with a hidden knowledge of strength and purpose.

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It is daunting to think about it but it really and truly is not as bad as what you have conjured up in your head…I have had 4 children …the first when I was 20 years old and I was also terrified…my first advice is have an epidural if you have that option…it makes the whole experience so relaxed and you are awake to greet your beautiful baby when it comes into this world…second…ask the dr to stitch things back to what they were quickly whilst you are still numb down there…arrange it with him/her before you go into labour…it all heals pretty quickly so you will be unaware of it…next…keep in mind that if it was that bad no one would have more babies…good luck and enjoy this amazing experience.

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I’m 27 and a mom of two under 3.
Both of my babies were delivered naturally with no epidural.
Everyone manages pain differently. They had to cut me a little bit with my first born and I tore with my second. But I healed far better with my tear than a cut because the muscles tear in a more natural way.
Both times I was pretty well back to normal within a week or less.

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If I was allowed the choice I’d have a 2 C Sections. There is nothing natural about the amount of pain I was in. Some people are lucky and have a quick labor, I wasn’t one of them. It was horrendous. It’s been 27 years since my last child was born and I’ve only had 2, I will never forget that pain. So if you are that terrified go for the C Section. Good luck.

I have a worrying personality too, and thought up every possible birth scenario, but on the day I went into labour I felt calm and excitement knowing that our baby was finally coming. I trusted the midwives and doctors. Whatever happens, happens. I really hope you feel at ease just like I did.

I feared this loads and it was over so quickly I’ve totally forgotten about the 15 minutes of birth I was building up for 8 months! I had an epidural due to my health condition and tbh I the recovery was harder that the actual birth. When it was over I couldn’t believe how much fear and anxiety I’d built up for something that was over in a flash, all toy can do is choose what’s right for you and make yourself as comfortable as you can.

Try the local health unit . there are prenatal classes available and wonderful counseling services. talk to your OBGYN about this too. every woman has had to deal with this struggle. your family physician can point you in the right direction.
You will be great. trust that your body knows what to do. You got this :+1:

I didn’t want to face it when I was pregnant. Didn’t have a plan or classes for breathing. Let alone be shown around the hospital. I was kept busy with everything else in life that when I thought I had two weeks to chill my daughter came early and was all healthy. Only advice I’d give is stay active it’s a massive help during giving birth. I lived on top of a massive hill and walked it everyday sometimes 2/3 times doing everyday things. It really helped! I don’t cope with any pain at all and I had gas and air which I couldn’t get enough of. I’d jump at the chance to be a birthing partner now I’d pinch the gas and air! :joy:

Being able to be in the water with my daughter made it so nice even being induced I was able to go through labor without an epidural and honestly all I remember was a bunch of pressure but my body’s own adrenaline took care of it

My first child he rip me open but it was best moment ever I didn’t care about my v how it looked or anything and when my second came I only tore little I did the iv everything will be fine just gotta believe in yourself and don’t be scared, just think you’ll have your baby here soon and you won’t care about your v and it dose go back only thing different about my body now is stretch marks

Education is key ! It helps you to prepare and understand labor a little more. Although birth is so different for each child, you still can learn and read from others experience. Birthing is my most empowering experience as a woman and it’s so beautiful because you literally bringing a human into life! Be confident and don’t be embarrassed to express how you feel during labor or if you have any oops or gross moment , trust me there is nothing they haven’t seen !

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I have 3 children and most certainly wouldn’t have done if it was so awful. It the most natural thing in the world and when you hold your little one for the first time you will never have experienced anything so wonderful.

I was highly anxious about birth/labour even before getting pregnant. Was lucky enough to see a c section with general anaesthetic (GA) and decided that I was gonna do it the same way! From when I got pregnant I had 0 anxiety about birthing my baby because in my mind, being completely out of it was the only way he was coming out.

The hospital was able to facilitate this and I just had to sign a form saying it was against medical advise as there was no medical reason for a c section under GA. They were happy to do a normal c section but the GA had more risks to both me and baby. The worst part of the whole thing was putting the cânula in my hand, the rest was fine.

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Hi! I can understand your worried but things will be ok. My wife was 31 when she gave birth to our now 2 year old boy. Very healthy and both are extremely well. She did get an epidural for the process and it helped immensely with pain. You’ll be ok. Just remember to breathe and if possible, have your partner with you. They’ll be a great asset to helping you stay grounded.

The most important advice I can give you is to please have your delivery at a good hospital. It is extremely important that you are somewhere that it anything odd does happen, and I don’t think it will, you are already at a hospital and not waiting on an ambulance. I had a c section and it was a tough recovery process, but I was also 35 and a petite person.

Don’t be set in stone with a plan… things change during labor… the only thing I had planned was to go for as long as I could before asking for an epidural… ended up with on about 12 hours into a 23 1/2 hour labor… at the end of the day the one thing that matters most is that you and bub leave healthy no matter how bub comes into this world.

Yeh it’s going to be painful but I can tell u now as soon as u have ur we bundle of joy lying in ur arms for sure u will forget about all the pain I suffer ptsd and I was the same when I was pregnant with my beautiful girl but as soon as kaydee was here I forgot about all the pain good luck and I wish u all the best xxx

It’s totally normal to be scared of the unknown,I’ve had two natural births and yes it can be hard work as I have very very long labours but I learnt from my first just let your body go with it and remember to breathe, just focus on meeting your little one and honestly it’s all worth it, the minute they crown it’s all over and you forget…and yes your V will defo go back to normal! X

I have a fear of stitches… So I was freaking out about tearing… My midwife gave me fantastic advice… Having a waterbirth, softens the skin, which helps prevent tearing…she also said not to push… Pushing can tear you as well… She referred to it as being like having diarrhea…if you’re needed to go and you’re running to the toilet, you ain’t going to be pushing… But it’s going to come out regardless… :woman_facepalming:t2:
I had a waterbirth and didn’t push with either of my kids and I didn’t get any stitches or tears… A little bit of grazing, which hurt to pee, but other then that, I was fine… All the best… Good luck with the birth x

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I had all kinds of fears too the whole 9 months. Believe me pain can be managed and it’s all worth it in the end. Look around you. See all these people. They all got here the same way. If it was that bad, there wouldn’t be this many on earth. Janice Hoover RN BSN

Been awhile since I gave birth. I recommend reading anything and everything about giving birth. We did Lamaze lessons. Both my labors were short. I lucked out. No drugs. Let your body do its work. It really is a miracle!!

Go to the hospital and have an epidural. Childbirth doesn’t have to be painful,! You get so caught up.in the moment and before you know it baby’s here. Don’t let anyone talk you out of having the same medication 99 percent of the women there are having. By the way I’ve had 7 children, born all different ways, all healthy

Ok , I’ve had 3 . The first was completely natural , nothing at all for pain . I would NEVER had 2 more , if I would have felt it was a life threatening situation . I would have gotten my tubes tied right then , and there ! Not going to lie , and tell you that it doesn’t hurt it does ! I will PROMISE you that it is sooooo worth it ! That being said , get an epidural ! That is the most wonderful invention on the planet ! Honey I’m 61 , and I still think that if I hadn’t already gone through the change ; I could still have a baby , if I had an epidural . I would be one of those mothers that would carry , and have a baby for a daughter , if they could not have done it ! Everything goes back like it’s supposed to, no problems there either . Oh by the way ! I had my last baby at 38 , and she was the easiest of the three . Age was not an issue . Congratulations on your sweet little baby , and on the fabulous experience of being a mommy !

Having a c section takes a lot longer to recover from and you you wouldn’t be able to do a lot after the baby is born. I really wanted a water birth with my children but wasn’t able to have one. As a nurse though my advice is to get some relaxing soft music to take with you. Good luck

Child birth now days is almost painless, just thank God you didn’t give birth 50-80 years ago.
Relax, there is no going back now, it will be worth anything you may ( but probably not go through) have to endure.
Women have being giving birth for years

My advice: dont go in with a huge plan. I went in without a plan. Just the thought that all I want is my baby to be okay. If I need to get an epidural then okay. If they need to do what they need to to help me bring my baby into thia world then okay. Do speak up for yourself though if there is something bothering you. The nurses are going by what you want mama so if you feel uncomfortable don’t be scared to voice it. The nurses do put you at ease though which is good. As for the tearing, push when you feel a contraction. I had zero tearing from just pushing when I needed to during a contraction and I counted 10 seconds as I did it. Regardless even if you do have tearing they will help in answering any questions. And your V will go back to normal eventually. It doesn’t stay that way. Honestly, as soon as you hear your baby you aren’t even going to worry about these things.

You need let your body run its natural and trust your instincts. I just gave birth last Tuesday. They induced me Sunday afternoon and till Monday morning i was still 2cm dialated, which ended up in an emergency csection. Epidural wasn’t in my plans at all but i was suggested that if i see that i’m in pain and not progressing, TAKE IT. Which was the best decision i made cause i was pain free till the csection. Listen to your own body cause every birth is totally different. I don’t regret a single thing that happened :slight_smile: Don’t be scared of any type of birth you’ll be having

Normal feelings that we all have. See a therapist. We all get thru it. The fear and pain is real.

Make sure that you get the pain killer drugs you need. Also, in order to make sure that your doctors are respecting your wishes, make sure you have someone with you that isn’t on the medical team. Preferably a white man.

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It is normal to be afraid specialy the first time, do researsh about births, read , learn what to espect but remember no birth is the same every woman is diferent, don’t hear stories about how painfull or you will be more nervous, try to be calm and remember God give us the power to bring life, that is a miracle and soon you will have in your arms the greatest gift of all.

I got cut and I had the same fears! But once you hear you child cry for the first time you kinda forget what you just went b through…or atleast I did…I couldn’t believe how much I stressed myself out before I had mine…

Honestly, the best thing for me for my first pregnancy was thinking the worst. Turns out I was worried for nothing and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be… good luck!

Honey you will do fine . mother nature gave us women the ability to do this. Don’t stress . that could harm your baby . your V will be back . its cool

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I always looked as birth as I’ve got no choice and the after effects of it all will be worth it so I didnt worry at all on either. Just try to let it go and think of the other side

From the time I started my appointments with my midwife I was asking for an epidural or a C-section. They kept saying no , on the day of the birth I was asking for an epidural and a C-section. they said no, I was absolutely petrified of giving birth, and this consumed my mind for the last 4 months …

Listen, I’m not gonna say it was a walk in the park… I didn’t get a C-section or an epidural. They gave me no drugs when I was screaming for them all.

Ask for the drugs… it will all be over before you know it. I was 19 and had no idea what I was in for and I think that’s best sometimes…
sometimes it’s best not to know what you’re in for.

I pushed 5 times, in 11 minutes and he was out … I tore. I didn’t know until they examined me after my son was out. My V is as good as it was before… my husband said there was no affects left whatsoever.

You’ll be surprised at the super human strength you get when you need it :muscle:t3:

Good luck :crossed_fingers:t3:

I’ve got 3 beautiful kids, that fear was there for all of them but at the time you do what you need to do and the reward is beyond worth it.

Ive had 5 babies, each labour was different. Concentrate on your breathing as much as possible through your contractions. Your midwives will try and help you as much as possible but also listenen to your own body. Goodluck xx

Epidural 100%!!
I went into labour not wanting one at all, I was terrified of the needle to get it done and the fact you can’t feel contractions and more likely to tear…
But I was induced and my contractions just got out of hand! So I opted for the epidural and hands down it’s the most amazing thing!!! I used gas and air through getting it done and didn’t feel a thing… My labour continued for another 20 hours and I literally slept through the whole thing :joy:
You can also ease it off at the end so you can slightly feel contractions and when you push xx

You can have a plan all you want but it hardly ever goes that way. I would have loved a water birth as it’s the best on your body but because of my epilepsy I couldn’t. I had three vaginal with epidurals.
And as far as your v not going back the way it was, it actually goes back to like it was when you were a virgin :blush: just follow the advice of your health professionals

I wony tell you the full story but I had an emergency c section & the recovery was very so & very very painful. I missed most of my daughters baby weeks through being so poorly. You know your body, you do what ever feels right for you. I remember feeling the exact same way as u. I was a size uk 6, no hips, no bum & should of had a planned section as it turned out I would never be able to give birth naturally. You’ve absolutely got this :muscle: what ever you chose will be the right choice for you & baby. Wishing you all the luck :black_heart::black_heart::black_heart: xxxxxx

I’ve had 4 natural births with just gas and air. Everyone experience is different. Speak to your midwife and talk to her about your worries. Xx

Speak to your midwife i feel your pain and worry! My first birth i was scared too so much that my body went into spasm because i wasnt controlling my breathing. I was guided through it by the midwife all all turned out fine. Ask for pain relief , it is painful but its all worth it when you get that beautiful bundle of joy at the end of it! We are all different x my second birth was traumatic! I had a prem baby who had to stay in hospital 2 weeks but all was good! I went on to have a 3rd was still scared but got through it! Xxxxx good luck you got this girl x

I was afraid of the pain of childbirth as well. What I did was go to lamaze classes. I did everything I could to prepare myself for the big event. And then I put it in perspective. I said too myself, this is one day out of my life (two days at the most). And I can do anything for one day. They are not going to let me suffer with it any options for pain control. I can change my mind and ask for more meds if I want. And it’s just one day. And I can do anything for one day. You can too.

I had all c-sections not alot of pain. No issues. But I don’t think you can choose c-section. Has to be medically necessary I think. I maybe wrong though

I’ll tell you how my OB told me when I had my first child. If it were that painful people wouldn’t keep repopulating. It’s manageable, fear is normal because it’s unknown to you.

This is something that we aren’t talking about enough IMO. I had my first at 19 and I was terrified of the actual birthing process but acted like I wasn’t because it seemed like everybody I knew never was scared. I’m
now 45 and have 5 kids. Each birth was different. Ive had 1 induced with an epidural, 2 all natural and 2 c sections. I recommend you talk to your OBGYN as to what would make you most comfortable and less fearful. Ask all the questions you want even if they seem silly!!! Also I second anybody recommending a doula :+1:t3: Their sole job is YOU, not the baby. I loved my doulas!!!

There’s not 1 labour in the world that will be the same as the 1 you are about to have so I’m not gonna tell you that’s it’s all sunshine & roses that shit hurts like nothing else you have ever been through BUT your body was made to do this it’s what we’re built for and let me tell you it is so worth it!!! So expect the unexpected during your birth but KNOW it’s worth every second… good luck n congratulations xx

My advice is DON’T listen to all the bad experiences and let them scare you. Enjoy your pregnancy and cherish it. Maybe start a journal so you can look back on at a later date. And remember God gave you the body to carry a baby and he will see you through the delivery. If you can walk every day. It is the perfect way to help build those muscles to help through childbirth. My labor and delivery was not a bad experience at all. And when you hold your precious little one you will forget all about everything else. Good luck and enjoy this new experience.

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It is normal to be scared. I did a water birth with both of my boys, last one was born a little over a week ago, and I didn’t tear with either. The water definitely helps with the contractions, but I would also suggest taking a birthing class. Learn about different types of births and strategies to help during the labor and delivery process. Every mom has fears. My fear was having an epidural. It totally freaked me out, so for me, water birth was the best option. I wouldn’t change it either time. I chose to have my births in a hospital vs at home or a birthing center just in case there was an emergency with baby or me.

I was terrified all throughout my pregnancy, the time came and I went to the hospital… the contractions hurt I’m ngl but I was given pethadine then gas and air then I chose the epidural which was the best thing ever :heart_eyes::heart_eyes: if I ever had another I’d definitely go for it again, was a breeze afterwards! Xx

I have two kids, both all natural. It’s really no biggy. No reason to get worked up. Stay calm and a good mind set and you’ll be fine.

My OB assured me that if it was that painful we would all be only children…no siblings. She made me feel much more confident about it. I had my babies before epidural were an option and my first labor was long, ended up getting pitocin drip since I wasn’t progressing, and he was big baby and turned but second one was so much better…almost didn’t get to hospital in time! So it wasn’t horrible at all.i wouldn’t give up experience of child birth for anything! Once you hold that baby you actually forget about that pain you went through. Well worth it.

My best advise is to not let them tell you to push while laying on your back this was the worst position for me I wish I stayed standing or knealing over back of bed

I was terrified too, but I ended up having a c-section because my baby was breech. It was the easiest surgery I’ve ever had and it went perfectly. What helps is to have a good support team, both at home and at the hospital.

I was the same way for both of my pregnancies. I know telling you not to worry about it won’t help. I will tell you that I got an epidural for both of them and that everything went perfectly fine. You’ve got this mama :heart:

I had my1st baby 51 yrs ago. Things were very different then. Didn’t know what to expect. Only words I got was my sister telling me it wasn’t bad, just felt like someone pulling a belt tight around you. Let’s just say…bull sh-t. Yes it hurts. It is scarey. It’s amazing. It’s unbelief able. You will be fine, it’s wonderful, you will not regret it. Bless you and congradulations

I had a c section my baby was little so the incision was only about 4 inches had staples out the next day and the recovery was a breeze but as mentioned everyone has a different experience my sister had vaginal and she had stitches and longer healing time

45 years ago I had the same worry when I was pregnant with my first child. An old friend at that time assured me that (while in labor), if they needed to cut off my leg, that I would immediately scream to “DO IT”. I went on to have 4 more children, all natural births and would not change a thing. GOOD LUCK!!!

If you’re going to be traumatised, go for the c-section option.
Its not the ‘easy option’, it has risks and takes longer to recover from.
Don’t let anyone shame you into thinking you’ve failed if you do :heartpulse:

You’d be surprised…it all just happens naturally and kinda just flows and you go with it. We’re made for this shit!
And yes, I totally suggest epidural!

Remember to breath and listen to your body! Go in with an open mind. With my first I was terrified of the thought of possibly having a c section, but then I told myself that if it needs to happen then so be it, its what’s best for me and my child.

I made myself miserable all of my 2nd pregnancy. It was a 5 hour labour with just gas and air. Please dont worry xx

I’ve had 3 births with very large babies, torn a bit,cut to save tearing and stitched up after, and I’m fine, vagina works fine, I won’t have another because I’m too old and my last baby was 11.11lb!

First off there is nothing wrong with being scared.

There are SO many options and things to think about that can be overwhelming. My best advice ( coming from a mom who has only giving birth once, but was in your shoes about being scared) go to a birthing class, it doesn’t sound fun at all but it actually helps! And alot are free, do some research but they are out there, and your ob or midwife should know of some. Second( they are most likely going to tell you this in birthing class) but have a plan A ( the one that sounds the best for you) then have a plan b.

Keep in mind at the end everyone is looking out for you mama, and the baby. I mean that by they want you to be healthy and the baby healthy ( which I know that’s yours too)

So with that said nothing the wrong way. No one is going to judge you about how you decide to give birth.

You got this mama!! And congrats!

Labor is just that - hard work IF you learn to work with instead of against your body. Please look into Lamaze training and educate yourself as much as possible. There is a fantastic book, “Thank you, Dr Lamaze” by Marjorie Karmel that I used to have my son in 1967. LaLeche meetings used to have wonderful educational programs as well but that was a long time ago. Hoping this will be an awesome experience for you!

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I have had 3 kids and all my labours were different my first I walked through the contractions until they got too much and opted for the epidural and everything went smoothly with the birth. My second I did the same but when the pain got to much it was too late to have an epidural so made do with gas instead and yes it was a lot more painful but I got through it and my son was born. My third I walked into the hospital and asked for epidural as soon as I got there as I knew how painful natural childbirth can be, I had the epidural but as soon as it went in I wanted to push and my son didn’t like the drugs much, I couldn’t feel where to push and I needed help with delivery via ventuse, but he arrived safe and sound too. My advise would be to listen to your body and do what feels right, if you have a plan on how you want your birth to go it may not turn out that way. It’s amazing how your body knows what to do and when, and when you hold daughter for the first time the pain will just slip away.

I think pregnancy is one of the scariest, stressful times of a woman’s life. The births themselves were way less scary to me than actually growing the baby inside me for 9 months. And although your body won’t ever be completely the same as it was before you had the baby I have never personally met anyone that had something horrible happen to their vagina caused by childbirth. The worst part is that every birth is different so no one can tell you what to expect. I just hope that you can have someone in there with you that you trust and that will be supportive. That’s all you really need beside the Dr’s and nurses.

Every woman feels the same way. My labors were difficult BUT my daughter had her three without any medications at all. Some back pain, enough to make her wince and she sailed through it easily. I was so jealous. Lol. So just know you are normal and like all of us, you will get through it. As soon as you see that baby you will know that you would endure anything for it.

While labour totally sucks - as long as you listen to your body and go with the flow - it’s actully not the worst thing I’ve ever done. I’ve had two natural labour’s - one where he got stuck and I required help and stitches and one where I delivered her myself because it was so fast - I listened to my body and just rolled wigh it and I didn’t hate it.

Not silly at all!:purple_heart: First major props for talking about this and wanting to process these feelings. I will say pregnancy hormones will escalate things like anxiety. I’m currently pregnant with my second. First child I had an emergency c section after a failed foley bulb induction. I wish the dr went that route first given my own medical issues. Bring a support person, I have my husband. Definitely talk to your OB about this. I have PTSD and was terrified at first. I practiced a lot of coping skills like controlled breathing, talking to a nurse and my husband to keep me grounded. I basically said hail Mary’s over and over again during the c section until it was over.

If you get the epidural its a breeze! I was also very anxious, its just the fear of the unknown. I gave birth 8 months ago and the contractions start off slowly so its a gradual build up and once I got the epidural it was so nice sitting there, chatting and laughing, no more pain and felt nothing until the pressure (not pain) of baby coming down and pushed her out no problem with a few pushes. I did get an episiotomy but didn’t feel it and I also expected recovery to be so sore but it wasn’t! Everything I was nervous and anxious about ended up being way bigger in my head. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Remember your body was made to do this, you will be fine!

I have 3 children and all very different experiences with birth. With my first he was 2 weeks late and weighed a very healthy 8lb 1oz, I slept through my labour only stirring for contractions I kept repeating in my head this is the last one to get me through it- he was then born and tried to enter the world like superman so I torn horrificly when they midwife had to put his arm back in. Child two was a c-section and that pain after was worse than my whole childbirth experience the first time round I couldn’t go from laying down to sitting up when my baby cried without help, And overall the experience was not one of ever want to have again if possible. My third was a vaginal delivery again and yes the pain of contractions felt bad but manageable I just had gas and air, but only one tiny tear and within 5 minutes of birth I was up moving around and having a shower. The blood and all that isn’t really shown to you and if you don’t have epidural or anything then pretty much should be able to have a shower/bath straight after. If the pain was completely intolerable then most women wouldn’t go back and have more than one! You’ve got this mumma!!

Im just going to be completely straight forward, it hurts, Jesus Christ it kills infact! But meeting your baby soon makes you forget the pain. Don’t fight your body, let everything happen naturally and whatever happens can be fixed 99% of the time. It’s natural to be scared, anxious, worried but I promise it will be worth it. Enjoy it, every single second of it :heart:

It’s the weeing that comes after birth that will be more painful I had an epidural and fell to sleep lol would highly recommend :sweat_smile: first thing to remember is every single birth is different, I was in labour 14 hours 32 mins but it was an easy labour to be honest I would love to do it all over again the feeling you get when you first hold your baby is something else it’s unreal time just seemed to stop n you forget what just happened I had stitches and an injection to get the placenta out I only know this from what my partner told me in that room right after birth there was just me n my baby nothing else mattered good luck!

Whe i gave birth to my fist son. I went to sleep and woke up with my water breaking. It is like being constipated. Once bubby is born you forget the pain.

It will be ok, don’t stress yourself out over thinking about it because that’s not good for you. second, your V like all other women will go back to normal, I had 2 c-section and 3 regular deliveries. We all get scared, tell your OB what you feel and ask for their medical opinion of the best choice for you. Most of all don’t stress and cause yourself panic, take a bit to breathe and relax

Ask for an epidural. You don’t want to decide when you are already in bad labor. They won’t give you it at that time. My niece decided only when she could anymore take the pain but nurse said too late

Just remember, this whole planet has been populated by women who gave birth from day one.
You can do it. Your body is capable of doing what is natural.
My personal experience, I had an epidural at 2 measly centimeters😅… nursing shifts at the hospital were about to change and I didnt want to wait for a new shift of nurses to get situated and come in once it was too late …easily one of my top 10 best decisions of my life)… anyway. Got my epidural, didnt feel guilty. I wasnt trying to be a pain martyr🤷‍♀️…
You Can do it. Be blessed❤.

I’m mum to five and its totally natural to worry,I did with each birth,but there are painkillers available to help take the edge off the pain,labour pains feel like bad period cramps in my personal opinion,c section is quite a big surgery and will take longer to heal,is there a chance you could try hypnosis to help lessen the anxiety

You’ll get through it!! I’ve had 2 vaginal deliveries and a csection and if I ever did it Again and I had the choice I go vaginal delivery, the risks are less, recovery is easier, it’s better for baby and mom in the long run! If you can avoid an epidural please do, I’ve heard long term back problems can arise from them, but I tapped out during mine and opted for the epidural! No shame in needed the drugs lol Women have been doing this since the dawn of time, your going to get through it and then have a beautiful baby :heart::heart:

You sound like me a couple months ago!
I gave birth just over 5 weeks ago, I was so scared! And honestly? It all went so smoothly. I wanted a natural water birth, with as few drugs as possible. In the end I had to be induced so no water birth. I ended up asked for an epidural and thank god I did it was amazing! I told the anaesthetist I wanted to kiss him :joy::see_no_evil: I got a 2nd degree tear too.
The worst part of giving birth was peeing afterwards! That stings like no ones business so make sure you lean forward and pour water whilst you do that!
My best advice would be to have an open mind, and trust in your body, and that the midwives have you and your babies best interests at heart, but also don’t be afraid to say no if something is not what you want or doesn’t feel right!

I’ve had 3 kids. Each time as it was getting close I would think no matter what, the birth would be over in 24 hours or less. I figured I could do anything for just 24 hours.

I’ve had 2 babies 1 natural and one c section and my natural was by far the best! I did tear quite badly but u didn’t feel it happen my adrenaline took over its a great natural pain relief. You vagina won’t go back to normal no woman’s does after giving birth keep up with your pelvic floor exercises and you should be fine though. Yes it’s painful but not unbearable and.you get through it, I had just gas and air with a back to back baby. But there is gas and air, pethidine, epidural and other pain relief options you’ll do just fine. Just remember a c section the recovery is much much longer than a natural birth. My recovery from c section to being relatively normal again took 5.5 months nearly a year later and I’m still not 100% just something to consider xx

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Don’t overthink it, I was like that and just decided to relax and let it happen naturally and go with the flow. Don’t listen to horror stories and enjoy your own journey

Breathing! It’s so important, breathe through the contractions really deep, sharp inhalations, hold it for a few seconds and let it out, just concentrate on this every time a contraction comes, also listen to your body . Walk around and change positions , do what is most comfortable at the time to get through it, I did this and got to 8 cm dilated at home before going to hospital and getting the epidural , once I got the epidural I was relaxed enough to nap and eat jelly lol, I felt absolutely nothing after that, not even when pushing not even my contractions , didn’t feel the little tear or stitches I got either, it was totally numb. I felt maybe like a weird light pressure (nothing painful) and that was it. You have got this!!! They were right when they said it’ll be all worth it and you’ll forget the pain and do it all over again! This is why people have more than one kid , I was afraid as well beforehand and annoyed at myself I got myself into the position where I had to do this, but I would again now no doubt. Good luck!!

I’d recommend a hypno birthing course … I went on one and it filled me with so much confidence that basically it’s what my body is made to do!
I had gas and air for my first (and so far only baby) which the mid wife took off me because I was sucking it too much :laughing:
And yes it hurts but was no where near as bad as I expected!
Good luck it’s the best thing ever when ur baby is placed in your arms !! Xx

I have had 3 births all with an epidural. I figure if i don’t have to feel the pain why would I. I am due in september with my 4th after a 14 year gap. My birth plan is go straight for the epidural. Buy Ural to take after the birth to take the sting out of your wee (incase you do tear) i had an episiotomy with my first. Best of luck to you.

Women have given birth forever you’ll get through it same as the rest of us. Dont plan go with the flow and your Dr should tell you what to expect.

I desperately wanted a natural birth and I was abit scared. I was more scared of the contractions than pushing. Obviously you don’t want to year or be cut up but believe me in the moment you’ll do what’s in the best interest for you and your baby. I had to be induced and couldn’t handle the contractions after 1.5 hours. A part of me felt bad or weak for taking the epidural but I honestly couldn’t handle any longer. Once I got it things were amazing! No pain at all, but I developed a fever and the shakes so had to be out on antibiotics. I progressed quickly after then and was laughing and having a blast until the delivery part. Unfortunately my baby was in distress and they had to use forceps and do an episiotomy. I didn’t feel the cut at all and my daughter was born healthy. Now I don’t want to scare anyone but at the moment I wasn’t even worried about tearing and the pain so much. Alli wanted was to birth my child and I was willing to do whatever even if it didn’t align with my birth plan. So my advice is try your best to relax and do breathing exercises. But if you can’t handle the pain then by all means take the epidural, it’s knocked out all the pain and you can focus and relax until you have to push. Our bodies are equipped and know what to do and you’ll do amazing!! :heart:

I highly suggest reading Ina May’s book Guide to Childbirth! It really helped me work through fears and believe in my body.