I think working on your mindset is the first place to start… worrying about everything is an issue and trust me, the birth is nothing compared to the years ahead of worry with having kids … maybe a life coach is a good start to help you with some strategies to work through this part of your life, which trust me will be incredible. Start by thinking positive and attract all the good things to come rather than the negative 
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Have you spoken with your OB/GYN about your concerns? Ask what to expect before, during, and after for each birthing option so you can get a better idea of what to expect. Taking a birthing and parenting class or joining a pregnant mommies group so you have support can help a lot as well. Automatic emails from Babycenter.com was so useful during my pregnancy and afterwards!
Here you go no sugar coating…I’ve had 4 kids and all over 9lbs no more than 10lbs 12 oz… I had all 4 simi natural. 2 natural and epidermal, everyone of them was different but the same…there is what they call the Ring Of Fire you have to push through and it hurts like hell, you’ll scream! But only till the head passes…I had contractions that lasted 4 min long and one right on top of another with my 2 girls. 32hrs my #1 my #2 was 8hrs and 100% natural they came out real alert and ready for the world and ready to nurse… my #3 and #4 were boys. Medium labour times. My boys were dangerous for me and them. They gave me epidurals for both of them just in case I needed a C-Section he was what they called a star gazer his face was in my birthing canal instead of the top of his head, the doctor held his hand in my lady parts for 2 hours till the top of his head was in my canal, no drugs so very painful. My #4 he just wanted to come early and because what happened to my #3 I was bedridden for 4 1/2 months. My boys because they both had epidurals came out Groggy and limp, I was not happy with that! My #3 epidural didnt take all the way and it left me with contraction pain the size of a soccer ball I had to wait and hour before they redrug me with more epidural drugs, I was pissed 3 min long contractions, one right on top of another …It took them a week and half to come out of it… I personally would never get a C-Section because recovery is long and hard and you have to very careful for month or 2 sometimes 3. It depends on how fast you heal, I’m very slow. and you have to keep the wound clean or face infection and sometimes even when the carefulest you still get one and than they open you up again and put a draining tube in…another thing noone told me about the Ring of Fire and the Mucus Plug, its thick and gooy and than you bleed alot when it comes out, your supposed to put on overnight pad, there will be lots of blood…I’m not trying to scare you, I just wish some one would of told me these things when I was ready to give birth. They didnt even go over it in birthing class…
I’d very much want to express to you to do your first one all natural, it’s going to hurt like hell, but there is nothing in this whole world better to experience the birth of your first baby…be strong and do the whole bare bone, the nitty gritty … it will also give you another threshold for pain( as in how far can I go pain wise, for your future life)…you can learn about yourself that way, theres nothing like it for them to put your brand new baby on your chest and it be alert and hearing your full voice for the first time…theres nothing to be really scared about.
Napis Boonngam read the comments
Lauren Heinrich-Changi
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Listen to yourself and your body. You will know what you need
Read psalm 91 always
Please pm me I have so much info to give to ease your fear and stress
I hope you do the Lamaze classes. They worked great for me 
I always had a fear that I would die during childbirth. No specific reason, just something my anxiety wouldn’t stop telling me. I had my first son on 2009 and I actually almost died. He was born fine but he was almost 10 pounds and as they were sewing me up, I hemorrhaged. They rushed me to the OR. I don’t want to go into the details but, they saved my life. I had my second son in 2019. I never thought I would have another because my irrational fear became quite rational with my first. I ended up pregnant and this time, I was even more scared. I spent the whole pregnancy fearing I would leave my 10 year old and my newborn without a mama. It was such a hard pregnancy just due to my anxiety, not to mention I ended up having gestational diabetes so, they were scared that he be another big baby. My cousin and my best friend, along with dad, were in the delivery room with me and when it was time to push we all cried in each other’s arms. We were so scared. To my shock, nothing bad happened. Everything was ok. I got my tubes tied afterwards though because the stress of the whole pregnancy was just too much.
I think it’s ok to be scared and probably, pretty normal. I think alot of women don’t want to admit they are scared because they think it makes them look like less of a woman. It doesn’t. Giving birth is such a big deal and anything could happen. Just make sure you have a fantastic support system in that room, like I did the second time. Make sure you trust your doctor’s and they will do everything they can to make sure you are ok. Also, if you haven’t, tell your doctor’s about your fears. They will understand and if they don’t, they aren’t the doctor for you. Good luck mama. You will do great and in the end it will all be worth every moment of worry.
Have the pain relief available, learn the breathing techniques and do exactly what you midwife tells you when she tells you , our bodies know what to do and when you have that little one in your arms it’s just the most rewarding amazing feeling you will ever feel xx
Im the same as u im an over thinker and get anxiety I never went to birthing classes but watched a few classes on youtube I went in without a birthing plan as I knew things never go according to plan I had the support of my fiance during labour I was induced due to gestational diabetes I had a complicated birth but still had a virginal birth thanks to the doctor who cut me as bub was stuck I only had gas and hopped in the bath to help with my back pain I ended up with 2 tears my cord broke wich was quite scary but otherwise all was ok and I was happy once that beautiful newborn was put on me everything’s seemed less important. My advice do what’s best for you everyone is different with different stories you got this mumma its scary but it’s so worth it get pain meds if u need I was open to the epidural until I was in labour and realised how anxious and scared I was to get it so I didn’t just make sure u have a great support system during labour someone who can keep you calm
I was terrified too! If you’re worried about the pain you can opt for the epidural, I was able to sleep until it was time to push. If you can, avoid a c section because the recovery time is so much longer and truly I wish I could’ve given birth naturally.
If you end up with a c section due to complications, just keep up on your pain meds and you’ll be ok 
I was able to stop taking oxy 3 days after and just manage with Tylenol and ibuprofen. You’ll have to take it easy so having someone at home to help will make a difference.
Just keep telling yourself that your body is made for this, you’re creating life which is the most wonderful miracle in the world.
And I heard this a lot but didn’t believe it, but once your beautiful and perfect baby is in your arms, all the pain is SO worth it! Your love for your baby will make your heart overfill with joy.
Take classes, watch videos of positive birth experiences.
If someone tried to tell me their traumatizing birth story I politely told them to stop, and please don’t because it’s not helpful.
You’ll be great.
I was nervous with my first. I was induced and tore pretty bad. I recently had my second though, so it didn’t scare me too bad. The second was a much easier process, but I still had to be induced and tore, just not as bad. There are tricks to help prevent that from happening. It’s totally normal to be scared. It’s something you have literally no control over. But women do it daily, and often go on to have more than one…. so it can’t be TOO bad. 
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First please calm down, listen to your body it will tell you what to do, your body is amazing as is your baby, just listen to your body, your amazing, xx
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What I learned with my first is that you can’t plan your birth
Baby will come when baby wants and how they want. Just remember your body was made for this! Also I am also due in December and I’m 31 lol
Oh, and it doesn’t “ruin your vagina”. Everything goes back to how it was. Yes even if you tear, it will heal
I’m 56, I’ve had 4 children, I’m also a hypocondriac, I always think the worse, if I have a headache to me I think " I have a tumor’ it’s gotten better over the years but 30 years ago it was bad and I was scared to death of giving birth, all the things you mentioned were the same fears I had, but when it was time to give birth we turn into super woman and handle buisness! No time to even think about all that, and yes it hurts A LOT! But we can take it! Once that baby is born it was all worth it😊
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Go to Lamaze classes. Please don’t do this to yourself. Panic will cause real problems. We have we been doing this for centuries. Not saying it is easy-but deeeep breaths. You got this
Every birth is different.
If you end up having a natural birth it helps to focus on something, a spot on the wall, or something that’s important to you, instead of focusing on the pain.
And REMEMBER!! The very minute that baby is placed in your arms you completely forget everything else. Those have been the most beautiful moments of my life.
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Trust your doctors and remember that in 24 hours at the most (on average) it will all be over and you will have a new baby. It is scary because you’ve never done it before. Just keep calm and breathe.
Don’t be scared! It’s so different for everyone! I think this is something everyone fears when finding out they’re expecting! I have a beautiful 1 year old daughter and I was terrified, I had SUCH a beautiful, stress free labor. And I gave birth right in the beginning of a pandemic. So everything was different for me then what most experienced. But I truly cannot wait to go through the whole process again. It was such a beautiful experience for me. I had an epidural! Which was honestly my life saver! But you just have to do what you feel is best for you! Listen to peoples stories but don’t assume your labor will go the same! Just go with the flow and breathe. You got this! Our bodies were made to do this 
I had my 1st all natural no epidural and yes it hurt but I made it through the 2nd I got the epidural as soon as they said I could and never felt a thing, had to have an episiotomy but was fine within a week. Sister-in-law had a c section and was down 3 weeks before she could really care for her baby.
Have the epidural and no pain then , try to stop worrying so much , talk to your dr and organise the epidural from time you get to hospital.
Everybody is nervous for their first and every birth is different but our bodies our made to do this just go with the flow because honestly no matter how much u plan someth I ng is gonna happen that u didn’t plan for
Try to research and think and make a birth plan. If you go into it panicking and freaking out it can cause you to not progress which is not good for you and baby so try to prepare yourself as much as possible. I’m currently 36 weeks with my 2nd and I’m going back and forth from thinking I’ve got this I can do it to holy shit I’m scared. It’s different for everyone but also normal to be nervous about it. With my 1st I was induced and had an epidural. If the pain specifically is causing you a lot of anxiety the epidural for me helped so much and I didn’t even feel a thing. Ask you’re ob/midwife about the different options of pain management you can try, different positions to labour/deliver in. Idk for me getting as much information as I can so I feel more prepared and like I can make an informed decision eases my anxiety a lot. Good luck!
Go to to your OBGYN and voice your concerns with them, they will help you. Everyone is scared I’m 31 due in December as well with baby #3 and it still scares me. Go for the epidural! I tore a tiny bit with my first and it wasn’t that bad. I was induced with both of mine and I’m so glad I didn’t try to do it without an epidural. Sounds like you have normal anxiety if it gets too bad maybe talk to your doctor about anxiety meds they help. Good luck mama and stay strong.
Your Vagay will go back to normal lol birth is painful I’m not gonna lie but after all the labor and pain you get the best thing in the world. It’s scary but it’s so worth it.
Well, if you have health problems to where you have discussed c section with your dr, may not be a good idea to do home birthing. That is only my opinion. Nothing bad is going to happen to you and your V will go back to normal. I promise once you get in there you will feel a little more at ease. I pray you have a speedy delivery and can rest easy! I remember that feeling all too well and I hate the anxiety of it all. I’ve had two c sections. They aren’t fun but they get the job done. It will go by fast! Hugs!!!
I was very nervous to give birth. I went it with an open mind, all i cared about was a safe and healthy delivery. I had my fears going in and i had the most wonderful nurse who asked me what was it that i was so nervous about. She explained everything and it really calmed me down. I didnt go to any classes because i didnt want to build some kind of expectation and then be disappointed about what happened. Everyone has their birth stories and some have horror stories. Dont worry so much those nurses will guide and help you. In the end as long as baby and you have a healthy delivery.
I am 24 and I will be having my 5th baby in Nov. I’ve had all vaginally births with epidurals. I went into labor myself for 3 my kids one I was induced with and still pregnant with my 5th lol but I barely felt my contractions honestly to me felt like bad upset stomach. When I got my epidural I felt nothing at all. With all my kids. I also have a very high pain tolerance which helps if u do to. Good luck. Every one is different. And just breath try to relax
Breathe momma!!! This is going to be an amazing birth for you. You have every right to be scared pretty sure all of us were at some point of time in our pregnancy.
Epidural is a life saver!!!
I have 3 kids and I felt that way EVERY time! Totally normal
Try to relax. Inform yourself. The nurses will guide you every step of the way💕 you CAN do it.
I had both of mine without epidurals. I went through labor super fast (my second one I had within 15 minutes getting to the hospital). However I walked a lot with my job and that helps. With my first I tore and didn’t even feel it. I just kept chanting in my head “the pain will pass” and focused my mind elsewhere. The first child is the worst because you don’t know what to expect and it makes you nervous/terrified. After that the next one is way easier. Good luck!
I’d take some birthing classes they can answer all your questions it’ll help calm you down. Most hospitals have classes right there I believe. Whatever you choose to do to give birth (C-section, vaginal, water, home, natural, epidural etc.) It’s your choice and none are going to be the “wrong choice” it’s whatever makes you the most comfortable. As for the V question it’s an incredibly flexible part of the body and if you tear that’s ok I tore in 4 places and everything is fine, as for tightness normally the V will go back to it’s usual size prebirth despite what guys think you don’t become a canyon after birth 
especially if you do your kegal exercises after birth it’ll help tighten you right back up.
Not having a plan other than bringing in a healthy baby is probably best for someone w anxiety. Don’t need extra pressure to try to “go w the plan” trust me I did this. lol. Make decisions as you go. Home birth probably not the best if you have had to discuss c section.
You will b ok! 
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Its not going to be near as bad as your mind makes it to be. And you get a beautiful baby!
Your body is made for this. Your v will go back to normal, there is medicine for pain… just listen to your body… and if you have a c-section, there’s medicine for that pain as well.
I’ve had 2 c-sections and I’ll be having my 3rd on Tuesday…
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I was very scared to give birth. I was scheduled to be induced and I cried the entire weekend before going in thinking of every possible terrible thing that could happen. Deep breath mama! I had my daughter in a great hospital. I got an epidural and felt no pain! Your natural instincts will kick in to have that precious baby! I did tear pretty badly but didn’t feel it bc off the epidural and the healing from that was honestly worse than the birth of my baby lol. But the pain is just a blip in the story of your child’s birth! You got this!
First of all, if you have health problems, I would not go with an at home or water birth because that makes intervention more difficult. Also, I had an epidural, had a second degree rip, which mean through the muscle and I didn’t feel it when it happened really. It healed completely normal. Recovering from a vaginal birth is way easier than recovering from a c section. A c section is a MAJOR surgery. If I were you, I’d attempt vaginal in a hospital setting, with an epidural (it also relaxes you) and if you need intervention, then get a c section. Maybe also take some birthing classes
I wanted to do all natural but decided to do the epidural
And it a was a smooth sailing from there
I was terrified to give birth as well. I was afraid of the pain. I had my son unexpectedly at 32 weeks. Honestly for me, the contractions were the worst part. By the time we got to the hospital there was no time for an epidural. While it hurt, yeah not gonna lie even at 3lbs. 15oz. there’s so much adrenaline running and then it’s over.
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You will do FINE. I had my son at 32. I WORRY abt. EVERYTHING too. Everyone is different, I had a Easy Delivery. Yes its Pain, but they can give you something for the pain. Honestly I thought the pain would be worse. I had my son Natural with no meds etc. You can do this…you will be FINE. Good Luck!!
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I’m a first time momma and was scared too. It’s normal, pregnant with my second now. Anywho, I had gone in for pains at 35 weeks and 5 days pregnant and they said yep your in labor. 36 hrs of labor and my daughter was still breech and I finally was at 6cm dilated, my doc decided to do a c section. To be save. I had an epidural because I couldn’t have done it honestly. I was so exhausted 
everyone’s experiences is different and unique and important.
Try to ease your mind and think positive thoughts. Your v will go back lol you’ll be okay 
Get an epidural, easy sailing from there lol
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Just breathe the more you get excited the baby will get excited. Go the the hospital and Get an epidural. Have your partner or your best friend there with you. You got this girl congratulations 
Girl I felt the same way! I was so scared of the epidural and it wasnt no where near as bad as people made me think it was going to be and I’m horrible with pain. I had a vaginal birth and had to get stitches! Still wasnt bad, sore but not horrible!! You will do great and forget all about the pain once your little one is born!! Good luck!!
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It’s OK to be afraid do not try to do a c-section just because it’s an option try for vaginal birth it is a lot fast recovery its going to be scary no matter what you do try for no epidural but if you decide to do it that’s OK to I said I would do it without until I actually felt my contractions and I got that shot lol no matter how you do it just be safe and do what’s best for you and your baby
I’ve given birth vaginally 6 times, epidural each time. I had an episiotomy with my first that wasn’t needed but it only required 3 stitches so no big deal. I had to be induced with #5 and #6 due to pre eclampsia. Both deliveries went smoothly. I never tore from pushing. I tore from my ob sticking her hand all up in there to remove my placenta with my 5th but it wasn’t too bad. Quite a few of my friends and family had to have c sections and they all recovered nicely. If you already have anxiety issues please listen carefully when it comes to the epidural, don’t let them add any extra meds or doses to your epidural. I did it with my last 2 and it caused major panic attacks. The best thing you can do while in active labor is to stay calm, close your eyes and breathe. Good luck!
I had my one and done when I was 26 I was scared as well. The unknown always scares us specially birthing a child I had 3 epidurals and spinal block my body wouldn’t accept the meds all the way. I kept telling myself it’s ok we got this
By time it was 3:45 I was being prepped for a c section. It saved me & my son he was having complications in the canal.
Get an epidural!! They had to wake me up to push pushed 4 times and she was out. They are a gift from God. 1000000000%
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Its not a disease, it goes away as soon as you pop that kid out. Push like youre pooping . Calmer the faster … natural process, dont over think .
If you get to choose I wouldn’t do a csection. It’s major surgery and long recovery and yeah it’s pretty painful for a bit. That being said we don’t always get to pick and if you end up with one you will do just fine. You will do fine no matter which one happens. You can do this and they can do pain management like with an epidural.
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Yes it will hurt a human is exiting a human but you’ll forget that pain the second you hold her and about 2 weeks in you’ll want another. It’s not such terrible pain that people only have one child and stop because it hurt so badly, even most women that have birth trauma go on to have another. The fear of the unknown is normal but you’ll quickly forget the pain and panic and focus on the panic of being a new mom.
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Start working out and doing squats if you were already a bit active before you should he okay. I did alot of walking and squats and my babies flew out like butter 
its when your completely sedentary is when they get stuck well at least thats what my grandma says lol
I had a c section i was in a lot of pain recovery was hard on me I was in bed for a week 
I couldn’t hardly do anything that 1st week it was miserable so do have somebody there to help you. If you have health concerns c section might be your only option you gotta do whatever is best for you an baby Goodluck
it’s normal to be worried, my only advice would be don’t let it stress you out, and trust in your doctors, they’re are gonna do the best they can to keep you as safe and comfortable as possible. you’re a women and you were built for this momma, best of luck
I am a planner. I need to know everything. I was terrified of the pain and all of the horror stories that I had heard. Just imagine being 32 weeks pregnant and your sister-in-law comes home from having a baby and she can’t walk because she tore 
. My best advice is to take a lamaz class(at your local hospital). You will get so much helpful information it will calm some of your fears…congratulations and I pray that you have a safe and healthy delivery and baby 
…
You’re gonna do great mama! My first time I was TERRIFIED. It’s absolutely natural to be afraid. Some people don’t even tear, some people sail through it too! You never know! And at the end of it all, you’ll hold that beautiful baby in your arms! Start slow on epidural if you decide to have one. And try to go for vaginally, you’ll be on your feet quicker.
I was so nervous too when I was induced with my daughter about a year ago - my first time giving birth. My family couldn’t be there because of COVID. All I can say is, everything will be okay. It will hurt, but the SECOND you lay eyes on your baby, you will forget all of the pain. I promise.
Personally I prefer normal with no epidural. I have three girls. With the first, the nurses literally pushed the epidural on me…30 min later I had to push. It was the longest of them all because I was so numb I didn’t know what I was actually doing. With my second I was able to push through without epidural but was a very long process because I got induced. Third child was the easiest. This time I was determined to do my research and listen to my body. I recommend 100% for anyone to research hypno birth. Its all about the body and mind. Our body’s are meant for this we just have to listen. I stayed home until my contractions were like 3 min apart. DO NOT tense up. It will be so much harder. And lastly push with every out breath after you take a deep one. Everything will be okay and you will feel like nothing ever happened as soon as you hold your little bundle of joy! Good luck mama you got this 
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Well the baby has to come out somehow. I definitely would not have a csection unless it’s absolutely necessary. I’ve had three. The recoveries weren’t terrible but for some people they are. And your body takes a lot longer to heal. Your body was made to give birth. You are stronger than you think. Don’t go reading horror stories about other women’s births. Yes there are risks for all of it and there can be complications but you shouldn’t go into it thinking like that. If you can’t take the pain get an epidural no big deal. All that matters is that you and baby are both safe and healthy! Good luck
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Go to church and pray God will see you through it
I was scared too! And when it comes down to it all your worried about is your baby being healthy❤️ you got this
It’s normal to be scared…if you could avoid the c section than do it because the recovery is no joke
Honestly I was the same way I was scared of pain I was scared of room full of people seeing me half naked but honestly if you’re calm and you can breathe through it it’s not going to hurt that bad I’ve had five children naturally at this point without an epidural without pain medicine and my lady went back to normal and my guy says it’s even better than it was before I had kids and I have a lot of kids so there’s nothing to worry about but if you’re worrying that much your blood pressure could go high you could get eclectic and it could be bad if your panicking it the way you say you are so you need to calm down I need to breathe you need to relax everything will be fine
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I’d highly recommend finding a hypno birthing class/course in your area.
Birthing children can be a very empowering moment. Listen to your body. No one is more in control in that moment than you. I have had two water births and would recommend them to anyone! My first was back to back 12hr labour. My second was 3hrs. Both from first contraction to birth. You are in control xx
I was the same with my first born… I was TERRIFIED !!! But in that moment I promise it goes away and all you think about is doing what you need to do to get your baby out 
… It will be OKAY… But until you go through it you’re going to be terrified… Also definitely epidural if you can !! And are willing!!..
As soon as u have that baby in your arms mama , you’ll forget it all
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Lol do natural birth but have someone in the room who is going to push you. I had epidural my first time and could barley push the baby out, luckily my mother got me through it, I still was torn and recovery time sucked with that fluid in my back. The second I did it naturally without pain meds of any kind, HURT like a f*cking b BUT after I felt amazing, no tearing and I felt like I had a power rush after. Totally recommend doing ! Hospital staff will ask you over and over if you want a epidural say noooooooo.
PRACTICE BREATHING TECHNIQUES! And get an amazing doctor for delivery
Its horrible! But your body knows what its doing. Almost every birth goes well. Just expect a lot of pain, but a beautiful reward. Your body will do the rest.
If your that worried my best advise TAKE THE DRUGS!! They help
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Don’t be a afraid. Im 4’5 I’m short and small. My belly was huge and I was worried that the baby might not come out. The doctor made me comfortable. I had no epidural and had a natural birth with episiotomy to a 6lbs baby boy. Once your in the stretcher laying down all you will think about is pray and pushing out the baby safely. The healing after the episiotomy wasn’t bad as I expected. Took 2 weeks to heal. The after 6 weeks of healing my husband says still feels the same even with episiotomy. As for epidural I didn’t get it because I was told it would take longer to push out the baby because you will feel numb. Without epidural I knew when to push because I can feel the contractions. After 30 min of pushing I told them just do episiotomy with anesthesia and the baby came out right away.
Have you considered having a doula attend your birth to help as a support person? They can be an amazing resource to help keep you calm and centered. Just a thought! It’s normal to fear uncertainty and labor and birth is just that sometimes. Maybe sit down with your OB and make a birth plan or discuss what might work best for you. Attend a birthing class that discusses all resources available to you at the hospital/center/facility you will be delivering so you are aware and feel more in control sending lots of good vibes your way!
It will be the worst pain you could ever imagine…but all of that goes away once you hold your baby for the first time.
Giving birth was absolutely one of my biggest fears. Coincidently so was having an epidural. I ended up getting an epidural and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. My son is one month now and we are both doing great. Goodluck
It’s not that bad
Just relax 
But in all seriousness, if it was really that bad, people wouldn’t be having babies left and right
Take the epidural and you will be fine as soon as it’s done you are done. The pain the discomfort everything
Get a doula if you can! They’re huge helps to make everything as easy and smooth as possible for you and to help you in labor and birth. I just gave birth to our 8th child this past Saturday (the 10th), and I am also a doula. If you want to message me and ask questions and such please feel free to. I’ll gladly answer any questions you have and help try to put your mind at ease. Thinking about birth can be scary even if it isn’t your first birth. It’s completely normal to worry.
Wasn’t as bad, I still think a broken bone is more painful than that. Didn’t bother to get epidural, thinking about that big needle going into my spine I was like “no way” I’ll deal with the contractions and there wasn’t really any time for pain meds because my babies came fast. 
Just given birth to my second baby 4days ago!!! Everything went fine and well nothing to worry about try to block them thoughts or you want enjoy you’re pregancy it’s a amazing experience to give birth there will never be a day in you’re life like the day when you’re baby was born😊good look
Once its started & your body takes over you’ll be surprised how you handle it… our bodys are strong
I assure u, I was the same. Ended up with a c section and no pushing. If only I’d known what I know now. Ya just never know how it’ll go.
Not silly at all. I was dreading the actual moments of giving birth. As it turned out I ended up having an emergency c-section because my stubborn girl wouldn’t come the regular way. I was very happy with the outcome . Talk to your doctor about your concerns.
Hi, I was in my 30’s when I had my girls. They were wanted more then anything. They were giants babies. (9+ lbs., high risk pregnancies) My advice about a c-section, don’t have one unless you need one, it is major surgery.
Your concerns… or rather what you are stressing yourself out about…
Giving birth IS bloody and painful, but you can do it. It is natural and I am sure you will be in good hands be it in a hospital, with a doula at home with a water birth or whatever you choose.
IF you tear you will heal easier and faster then if it is necessary to be cut.
You can manage your pain though various means, breathing, epidural, your own tolerance… I chose to wait until the last possible moment for an epidural (I tried for natural but couldn’t hang) but believe it is also why I was able to only have to push with 4 contractions I could still feel but it dulled the pain enough that I could function.
I promise that as soon as you hold your daughter in your arms none of what you went through will matter anyway. Everything you you endured will have been worth it.
Have faith in yourself and your ability as a woman to do what comes naturally, you will do fine Momma. Just breathe and enjoy your pregnancy and baby.
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5 kids, all vaginal births, had an epidural with all of them, induced for 3 of them. You’ll do fine love. If anything, opt to be induced because that way you can ensure your pain free for the majority of all the parts where pain would be. Honestly. Push like you are taking a big poo. Seriously not joking
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Your v will definitely go back to its original size… do kegel exercises as often as possible, it’ll lessen the chance of you tearing, but even if u do, get a water bottle you can squirt the water on your private area when u pee, it helps alot! Also, they do have a numbing spray u can spray down there too which also helps. C-sections do have a longer recovery time but I’ve had a few friends have one and they did ok with it, I had an epidural with my vaginal birth and it definitely helped. It’ll hurt but I promise you’ll get through it ok it’s perfectly normal to be nervous about giving birth:heart:
I was very frightened too at 30 until I read that some women give birth in a field, rest a couple of hours, and then wrap the baby around them and continue working. So how bad can it be?? I had a light epidural both times and it was a breeze. Labour was 5 hours with the first and 3 pushes she was out. Two hours labour with the second, but had to push for 27 minutes as her head and shoulder came out together. Six weeks after each birth I was as right as rain!! No worries!!
I had two babies with no pain meds whatsoever. I did tear, you don’t feel it there so much pressure down there. I attended a few months of hypnobirthing classes. It gets your mind ready. I would highly recommend. If your scared and stressed your mind will be working against your body, making it more painful and a longer process. Nothing wrong with opting for an epidural. Pregnancy does change your body, it’s different for everyone.
I’ve had four, all vaginal births. First and last no epidural, two in the middle epidural. Induced with first and third. Second and fourth came early on their own. I’m not gonna lie and say it isn’t scary, because it can be. My first was born not breathing right away, but was fine after a couple minutes of nurses attention. Second came 11 days early on his own, he was perfectly healthy. Third was 10 days late, induced, she was perfect. Fourth was born 16 days early came on her own, she was breathing too fast so she had to spend a few days in the NICU, but she is perfect now. I will say it’s a lot LESS painful with an epidural. But my births have also always been really fast (last one I wasn’t even in the hospital for an hour and she was born). Try to create your own plan but allow for the possibility that your plan may not be able to happen exactly as you want. You will do great momma!
It’s normal to feel scared. I’m due with my third in Oct and still get scared I think it’s fearing the unknown. But honestly, when the time comes everything will be ok! I get the epidural and after that it’s all good from there and the epidural isn’t even scary at the moment because you’re in so much pain from the contractions that you just want it! We got this mama! just so you know none of my labors were super bloody, only painful before epidural birth didn’t even hurt, and my experiences were not traumatic. Don’t overthink it mama!
You will do fine. Lots of options…trust and keep a positive attitude!
I remember a few weeks before my son was born, it really felt scary and I kept telling myself that millions of women have done this…and I can too! I gave birth to a beautiful 7.7 pound boy!
Honestly the best advice somebody gave me was it’s like taking the biggest s*** of your life lmao!!!
When they tell you to push, push as if you’ve been constipated for a week and need to get it out
It only took me 10 minutes of pushing after knowing that little fact and it was over before they even came up with any pain medication at all 
I remember having these fears.then I decided not to worry about it In till the time comes.that worked for me.and I was 17 yrs old
You will be fine. I promise. They can fix any tear and I didn’t feel anything down there because you only feel contractions which hurt but you’ll be fine. I had no painkillers with my first and only 4 hrs of labor. Your body knows what to do and as long as the baby is healthy it’s all good
Every birth is different, but I had my son at 21, the contractions aren’t fun but they’re not unbearable and the initial birth, I found wasn’t as bad as people had told me, just remind yourself that any pain you experience will be over soon, once the head is out the worst part is over. If you need pain relief then take it! You’ll be fine! Good luck x
I had the emergency C-section after hours of labor. It relieved all my fears of a watermelon coming of a hole the size of a lemon. Worked great for me I was almost 30. Labor pains are no joke if you are comfortable with pain meds use them. My daughter had two boys with an epidural she had tearing but her v shrunk back to normal. My advise is do what you feel comfortable with and educate yourself on what to expect. God bless and good luck.
Completely normal to be afraid. My first one was an emergency c-section because he was breach and I was knocked out for it, my second was a c-section as well but I was awake for it and my 3rd child I was able to have her naturally. By the time that I decided to have an epidural it was to late. The pain is hard while you are in labor and delivery but the moment that baby is here, it is gone if you have naturally. The c-section pain lasts for a few weeks at least because of the incision. I would say do it naturally if possible, maybe an epidural. Everybody is different, talk to your dr about your concerns so that you can decide what is the safest for you and your baby. Best wishes and congratulations!
I had my first at 28 years old 33 weeks. emergency c-section. Blood pressure was super high. Everything was good. 2nd kid 31 years old planned c section. All was good! The epidural was a lil scary and hurt but other then that I was sore for a few weeks after both births. I also breastfed both my children for a year.