Buckle down, don’t use your words use your actions. Start saving any money that you can, even if it’s only 5$ a paycheck and work towards getting your kids back.
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There is nothing wrong with adoption. But don’t give the baby up for adoption just because other people are telling you to. That’s a decision you have to make for yourself. Where are you from? I know of a beautiful couple looking to adopt.
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What if you give this baby up for adoption and don’t get your other children back? Why can’t you have all three eventually?
Why won’t they help you pay off fines if you have a child? Just some things to think about.
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I’m not calling you a liar but grandparents don’t get emergency custody just because the child needs to go to the Dr. Pretty sure there is more to this story.
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I could make a suggestion about … but I won’t.
Stop having babies until you get your life together.
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Look this is gonna be mean but stop having fucking kids. Seriously! Get on some type of birth control and sort your life out…
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If you want your other kids back but you can’t take care of this kid…. How are you gonna take care of them? After you have this baby get a tubal. Yes they can be reversed. And keep this baby while trying to get your other ones back. That way you have evidence to show the judge that you are capable of caring for them.
But also depending on your other children’s ages and how long they have been with your parents… moving back in with you might be, for lack of a better word, traumatizing to them. Or too much for them to handle. And they might even resent you for taking them out of “their home”.
It’s a double edged sword.
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Please, Get mental health support for yourself. Clearly you know this is a life choice and commitment you will live with forever. From the depths of my heart, thank you for thinking about your baby’s life and your children.
You are in a life crisis/ struggle, that takes great personal strength,faith and courage…Whatever you do, you need the best information and guidance… you need to believe in yourself.
I am praying for you and your children. PLEASE a reach out for mental health support. Their are professional people out there that care about you, your baby and your children. Together, with hard work and resolve you can grow and find your way. Godspeed!
PS…We are blessed to be a family because two brave women loved their babies…enough to make a courageous choice…
We are forever in their debt…
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Sew that baby maker up
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If you’re planning on giving the baby up for adoption, why not just sign rights over to your parents. That way you can at least see the child and have a chance of maybe raising your children one day.
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Relax. Do what you can for this baby to feel good. Ask for help. You are giving life. Gift.the right answer will come. Give baby gift of mental physical health take good care of you.
I feel like this is definitely one of those stories where the other side of the story is necessary to fully understand what is going on.
I only say this because my “aunt” always tells everyone that the family took all three of her kids away from her. The truth was she’s an addict who choose the drugs over her kids. In and out of prison, ODs, the works. The family saved those kids.
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So many opinions. I’ve read some great advice.
Do you believe in God? If so, pray on this. Ask Him want to do. Humans are too self centered.
If not, make a list of what’s a barrier for keeping this baby. Unless there’s something in this list that you will never be able to overcome, not likely, keep her. You are her mother. Just the fact that you are so concerned with her well being that you might give her up, shows that you have what it takes to care for her.
Get help. Mental, birth control, financial, child care. That’s what it’s there for, just keep improving so you’re not living on the system forever.
Being with mom, and hopefully Dad, is the best place for baby girl. Many of us have risen up from where you are.
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Baby girl fight , ask for help ! Sign up both of you for parenting classes. And work on finances . Find a class to help with your finances. One day the kids are gonna ask questions and if you keep moving forward they will see you are stable and want to see you
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Forgive your self , get counseling for the trama because that’s what it is !
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I have 6 children. Even though myself and my significant other have been together 19 years I had contemplated adoption with our last. We live on 1 income $30,000 a year. We have a car and a 3br 1/2 double. Our kids don’t have all the newest brand name things but they have an overabundance of LOVE! Your child will remember the love you gave them wayyyyy more then a name brand pair of sneakers, or a cruise that you never spent anytime with them. Kids have needs and then their are wants, and most things in life are wants. $900 iphones, $100 cable bills, $50,000 SUVs, vacations, name brand cloths are WANTS. We have $45 phones that work just as good as an iphone, free minutes, $10 internet program, Fire stick instead of cable, a used car we bought from my hubby’s boss for a couple hundred bucks that only had 50,000 miles on it, and cloths that are on sale. We save for things we really want like Christmas. My kids don’t get toys every shopping trip, they are saved to make holidays and birthdays special. Do not base whether or not to give your child up for adoption based on money. Incomes can and do change, giving your child up can never change! It’s a done deal. And you are smarter now. You do not trust ANYONE with your child. Your parents have showed you TWICE now that you can not trust them. Any parent that would steal their grandchildren from their own child should be ashamed of their self. If I were in your situation I would keep it. You give that little girl all the love and attention that you never got the chance to with your two other children. And you either get your tubes tied or get on some long term birth control and you be a happy little family. What you can do being that your parents are never going to give up your older children back to you is sign over your rights to the two children to them. Gets you out of paying child support to children you can’t even raise!
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Personally taking care of your sick kid is more important then going out of town. And if you had done that you wouldn’t be in this situation. I don’t care what my plans are how long I have had them I will drop them to take care of my kids it’s my responsibility as their mother. Yes it’s ok to go out and do things my husband and I go on dates from time to time but kids always come first especially if they are sick
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God works all evil for good and sustains us as we go throughout each day. All babies are blessings. Maybe God knows how much you need this baby more than you understand yourself this moment. It won’t be easy, but is anything worth having easy to come by? You got this, mama.
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Well, there’s a lot to say here, but I’ll keep it short. Grandparents do not have rights in SC and it’s very hard for them to get that; however, if the situation u were in was that bad then they had a right. But FIRST, I’m proud of you for not wanting to abort your baby bc of your struggles, and choosing adoption instead. That says a lot about you as a mom…just my opinion, don’t everyone come for me lol! If you’re doing all you can, don’t worry about the rest. God knows what you need and he will always provide, you just gotta ask. I was a first mother at 19 and it’s hard, but you get through it. They’re resources out there to help you. I would get on some assistance too. If you need help with anything or to talk you can dm me.
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I have been in your situation I gave my son up for adoption to a family that could not have any kids I knew them so I always knew where my child was I kept in touch over the years and when he was 16 he chose to come and live with me but I did what was best for him at the time and that is what you should do what is best for the child especially if you do a private adoption and you know who has him if you could do that it is very hard but I had to keep reminding myself it is what was best for him you are not in any shape right now to raise another child and you can get your other children back once you have cleaned up your act the courts will give them back to you don’t give up
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Let your parents take your new baby you obviously haven’t learned your lesson
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God will help u to do the right thing n please maybe u should not have any more babies, stop hating your self n start thinking more about what’s best for your kids, they r what’s important after all
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first of all, if even if your parents have custody of the other two, that means you signed them over, Even if the state/county was involved, meaning some sort of social services, they would rather the kids go back to the parents, unless, again the parents sign the over, You can always get a public defender to help you, Now if there is some issues, trust me, social services has already notified all local hospital to be notified once you deliver. If that is the case, If not, you can keep your baby, but it does sound like your parents will also go after that one too, Again a public defender to help you, Now as for given your baby up for adoption, that can only come from you, And it is a very selfless thing any mother can do for her baby, I am a RN & have seen this very often over the yrs, It is not an easy thing to do, but very unselfish act for one’s baby. Don’t let anyone talk you out of this, nor talk you into doing this, This has to be your choice, But I will say, the FOB also will have to sign the papers for this, unless you are not too sure whom the father is. Again no matter what you decide, I wish you the best all around
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Please get on birth control after this. Get control of your life, go to vocational school & learn a trade. It’s a hard world out there for poor folks & there is no social safety net in place.
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After a family member got custody of my older kids I ended up pregnant with a lil boy that I had talked to my sister about her adopting at birth because i didn’t know if I could mentally handle keeping him. BUT let me tell you that keeping my son and even going through the biggest fight of my life against said family member try to get custody of him I still have my son who will be 2 when I give birth to his baby brother later this year. MY SON SAVED MY LIFE AND GAVE ME REASON TO NEVER GIVE UP.
Keep your head up and pray on it hun.
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Keep your legs closed. Feel sorry for the kids.
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First off , if your kids are sick it’s YOUR Job to take care of them , not go to a concert ! 2nd of all I doubt your parents got your kids just because of what you stated . 3rd why are you not using protection to prevent from having anymore kids when you don’t even have custody of your others ? Unless you get on birth control and take control of your life and get an education this is going to be a repetitive thing . Good luck to you.
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I think adoption is a beautiful and selfless act. I support That decision bc sometimes it really is what’s best for baby. I would consider this though. If you are leaning towards adoption you can consider letting your parents adopt her. This way she will be raised with her sisters and you have a chance to get some type of visitation. Also know there are different types of adoptions there is open, semi open, & closed adoptions. That said if you choose to keep your baby my advice is to apply for assistance. Housing (income based), food stamps, medicaid, WIC, & parenting classes. Get yourself on your feet so you can be the best mother you can be. Then you can take steps to get your older 2 children back OR at least some sort of visitation schedule.
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Man as a mother myself I would love to snag ur babies and raise them and allow u to be a part of their lives and help u get ur life together I’m so against ripping families apart …u need some positive love and guidance 
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I say condoms should be on your list of things to consider. Smh
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Please me. No judgements.
I would reach out to Abby Johnson. She has an organization called loveline that could help you in any direction.
Get your tubes tied take birth control til then
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Think of the child and what is best for the child
We will gladly adopt your baby
One you don’t need emergency custody to take a child to the doctors. It’s just sounds like you aren’t ready to be a mom honestly
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No. Baby belongs with you.
God does not make mistakes he blessed you with this baby so keep your baby sweet heart. Pray and ask God for help and strength to get your other too baby’s back.
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Send love n prayers and all the blessings with positivity for you and all your babies 
If you do decide to adopt we will adopt her. 
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You can either take this chance to prove to this baby and your parents that you are not the same you and have changed your life around give this baby the life it deserves or if you think your life would be easier without it place it for adoption and do everything you can to keep going forward in life but me personally even if it was for the best I’m sure it’s gonna be hard to deal with the fact you placed your child up for adoption
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on your decision
I havent even finished reading your story yet but I stopped at the part where u said your parents took emergency custody to take your child to the doctor? That doesnt make sense. Grandparents can take their grandchild to any urgent care and dont have to be their legal guardian to do so. And taking emergency custody is a process. So I dont understand but I’m going to finish reading now and maybe it will come together…
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That is a hard situation to be in. It would be in best interest for you to put her up for adoption and get your own life together, for yourself and for your children. I’ll pray for you girl.
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I would not give up your baby. Raise her if you are capable and show the courts that you are trying to get right and if you do all the proper steps then the courts will most likely give you custody back. Your parents sound controlling. Keep your baby and raise her and consult a free consultation type lawyer
Also try contacting your local social services and I’m sure they can advise you. Good luck. Dont listen to others. Listen to your heart. And if you are clean and able, and can get government assistance temporarily to help you get on your feet, then I would raise your baby and show them all that u are capable
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It sounds like you want this baby 
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This is no one’s business but yours. Trust YOUR instincts for YOUR situation
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You could always consider an open adoption, but there are lots of resources for parents who are struggling- check out Catholic Charities or First Visitor, dm if you need help with contact info, and yes check out free legal services as well!
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If you are not mentally stable yourself keeping this newborn would only create more stress/depression. I would do what’s best for the baby and give her up for adoption.
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Hugs. It’ll be ok. Whatever you decide. No decision is easy. Any advice comes from personal feelings towards it not based on you. You can make that decision anytime right now focus on you since either way the baby is gonna be born focus on your health and welfare. If when you give birth you feel you need help with the decision that’s ok. Just don’t tell anyone now or you’ll be red flagged due to your past and you won’t be able to just have the baby. If you decide after the baby is born to give it up that’s one thing. But give yourself time. Telling people now you want to give it up is like putting yourself on a chopping block from the start. Just be pregnant eat those cravings and everything will level itself out and the way it is to be it will be
Hugs
Just
Hugs
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Join the group
Adoption; Facing the realities.
All your baby needs is you and your love.
Read: Primal Wound
The Body keeps score
“I’m not as dumb as I was when I was 18”
Maybe not, but after this baby is born, you really need to use reliable birth control until you are financially stable enough to actually raise a baby.
So far as putting the baby up for adoption: that is a decision only you can make. It sounds like your parents will try to take custody if you choose to keep the baby. They might have pretty solid grounds depending on how the custody arrangement with them is now. They could argue that all the siblings should be together. On the other hand, they could also argue that they are already raising two extra kids and do not wish to raise a third. That said, how do you think you would keep this information from them if you put the baby up for adoption? Are you not seeing your other kids at all?
Whatever you decide to do, set your feelings aside, look at the issue objectively, and do whatever is best for the future of the baby.
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Im adopted. #1 THING…
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
Leave a detailed medical history for your baby!!! This so so important!!! No names need given just a detailed history of your family and the fathers if possible!!!
I CANT STRESS THE IMPORTANCE!!!
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I’m so sorry this is happening to you 
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OP please reach out to Saving our Sisters. They’ll help with this baby and your other 2 as well.
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It sounds like you want this baby, trust your instinct and don’t let what your family or anyone says influence a decision that will solely impact YOU for a lifetime, no matter what decision you make it’s YOURS to make. Praying for you
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I honestly think you need to do whatever is best for the baby. If you don’t have the means to financially raise another baby then maybe giving her up is best. If you decide to keep her then I am sure you will find a way to work it out. This decision is not up to your family it’s up to you. Do what you feel in your heart is best and don’t worry about your family. Ultimately it’s not up to them whether or not you get your daughters back.
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Keep your baby…show the onlookers you can take care of this baby…if the time is right after that let your babies know you love them and what the grandparents did…Take care of you…How far away do your children live? Get food stamps and get help from housing section 8. .you need support…Healthy support…Ask the lord everyday for strength and directions in your life…
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Seems there is more to story…I don’t think your kid can be taken because they have a cold
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Dear Heart,
I don’t know where to start.
I know there is so much more to your story than what you shared in this paragraph. A lot of back stories that we don’t know.
Until you get YOUR life together through therapy and involving yourself in parenting classes, you need to not have any more children.
Wanting to adopt out this child to “pay off fines” is so wrong on so many levels. It just goes to show that you have no regard for a human life.
I assume your other children are in the best place for them. At this point in your life, no judge will ever award you custody of your two children.
Do not listen to people on this page who want this baby. Go through a reputable adoption service to place this special soul up for adoption.
Get yourself in a good place, stay on birth control and stay away from men who don’t help you encompass your WORTH.
I KNOW THIS IS A LOT TO TAKE IN AND I AM JUST ANOTHER PERSON WRITING IN THIS FORMAT, BUT KNOW MY HEART IS BLEEDING FOR YOU.
TAKE CARE OF YOU.
BLESSINGS!!
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Much love to you momma.
I pray your situation is resolved
You are both in my prayers (hugs)
My husband and I met a woman in a similar place as you early in 2021. She and her baby’s father chose us to adopt, through a friend. We all four worked together during the pregnancy. But when the baby was born, when it was time to sign, they couldn’t go through with it. They were willing to do anything it took, to give their baby the life they could give him. I’m telling you this because I think it’s important for you to know you can change your mind, even that close. You will have time, both during the pregnancy and after. I can’t tell you which is better, but I’ll be praying for you. (And if you’re in North Texas,message me and I’m happy to help in any way I can. Lots of love 
)
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As someone who has never experienced this…. The only advice I can give you is make the best decision for you and your children that you can live with. No one else is going to walk in your shoes, or face whatever consequences either way for the decision you make. I encourage you to talk to someone before making any decisions. Just my thought. I wish you and your babies the best of luck with whatever decision you make.
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You need to get your tubes tied. No children should keep suffering because of your mistakes. I’m not trying to be rude or mean but you have a lot of excuses. These are human beings not puppies or kittens.
Put that baby up for adoption and for the love of God go get your tubes tied.
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The fact that everyone telling you it would be easier to go the route of adoption but it’s the opposite of what your gut is telling you… listen to yourself and keep the baby.
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My daughter and her husband are wanting to adopt but the wait is so long youre baby would have a perfect life so full of love and given everything she would need and then a lot more they have a beautiful home and so much love to give my daughter thinks it’s never going to happen I pay she is wrong please help them thank you so much for listening and if you need to talk just give me a text I’m here for you if you need me:heart:
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Join this group! This group mostly consists of people who have been adopted and they are in fully support of trying to keep families together they may have advice and recourses for you.
Adoption: Facing Realities
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Your family shouldn’t have taken you kids. They should have supported you. Anyone wanting to adopt your kids rather than help you keep them is not your friend. You need to find help to help you get all your kids and help you keep this new one. Try to get government assistance. Join Adoption: Facing Realities they may have lots of advice.
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I have always wanted a girl. I got lucky with five boys but always missed spoiling a baby girl. I have granddaughters but no daughter.
It’s a sad situation for you and your family. Seems like you have a lot going on. As for the unborn baby as much as you want this little girl, sometimes it’s better for the baby to be with a family that can give her the world. Just my opinion as a mother and grandmother. God bless
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They have hotlines to call for help call one,helps out there find it,most States Social services will put in an apt with your child and help you get on your feet.If you aren’t a danger to your child they will help you.
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Keep ya baby and prove everyone wrong
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Why r u considering adoption? Because u could get help with your fines and a lawyer?
Let me just say this, nobody really knows how to take care of a baby all on their own. You just do it…sooo your parents taking custody of two babies while you went to jail and your boyfriend (played video games? ) I’m sorry I don’t know what he did b/c that part is kinda vague, but people don’t lose their kids because they went to a concert or even jail… I would advise you to get your tubes tied regardless of what you decide with this one. Some people just aren’t made to be parents. That’s not saying anything bad about you, just like some people aren’t made to be quarterbacks, or teachers you know? Find your strength and passion and do that. Good luck
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There are so many who would love to adopt a baby and give her a great life.
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Some of you people commenting should have been aborted. You all are seriously awful people.
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You don’t have to be wealthy to be a good mom. Being present, showing up and loving your child makes you a good mom. There are so many resources for you to help meet your babys needs. Adoption isn’t always the answer so make sure you follow your heart.
I would recommend you consider preventative care after this one. Get your life together and make sure you are in a better place before deciding to have another.
Get fixed, stop having sex and use protection. Kids don’t get taken away for no reason! Please give that baby up for adoption. Also if you don’t since you are in the system you are Flagged and the baby will be taken . I and my sister work with foster kids and hear this story way too much ( my kids were taken for no reason) there is ALWAYS a reason.
Parents don’t get custody to take a kid to the doctors.
Sorry no.
I think there is a reason they are taking care of your children and if you were to keep this baby the same thing would probably end up happening.
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Some mothers can’t have children and you can choose who adopts your baby or choose an open adoption j think if it was me I would focus on getting my oldest two back and giving the baby a family who can love her and will treat her as there own because they can’t have a child. I lost 6 babies to miscarriage in so lucky I have my girls but if not I was going to adopt and may still one day if I ever and not broke. Mentally I know it’s hard but from the sound of it seems like it’s the best option for the baby to have a better life prayers!
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Consider birth control
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I would focus on getting yourself together. Get into therapy, stop with the boyfriend ( he doesn’t sound like much help) get your life on track. Maybe you should adopt this baby out. There is a reason why your children are with your parents and it’s not because you went to a concert or to jail. I’m guessing there are a list of issues that got your children taken from you.
Here’s the thing, since your other children are nit with you, you fet pregnant again and you do nothing different. How are you getting a better life for yourself and your children that you are needing to get back?
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Wish all that were not wanted were adoptioned I was may make a lot of people mad be mad have a great life and my wife and me have 48 years w ith each other we had 3 boy and now we have grandkids that is great and yes I knew my birth mother after my mom and dad died. To me both were great in different ways but Loved them both
Honestly it’s your decision but think long and hard about it you sound like you really do want her ,your always going to have mother’s guilt about your other two children but focus on being involved in their lives as much as you can and also getting yourself together sometimes having a child does put everything in perspective.ive been in a similar situation with an older child.maybe this time just focus on being the best mom you can be and be very mindful of family they can be so manipulative my mother did the same to me with custody using the Dr as an excuse, you only need to speak to the Dr and give consent. Just think a lot about it and pregnancy is always a challenging time especially with emotions try to relax and consider your different options.
When you adopt a child out, they cannot pay you any money. They may be able to reimburse for rent for a month or two and the medical but you don’t get any money to help with fines or anything else. That would be baby selling. Saving our Sisters …on Facebook. They also have a website. Contact them they help families be able to keep children sometimes they can help with legal assistance as well. If your parents have guardianship and that’s all then once you can show you are stable for about a year you can petition the court to have the guardianship dissolved. Most of the time you can get attorneys paid for by the state to do that.
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So the facts are. Sooner or later if you adopt this child out they will find out they are adopted. They will also find out there are siblings who got to stay with the family. The adoptee will feel very hurt, and mad and sad and will carry that for a lifetime thinking they weren’t good enough like the other two as the other two got to stay with family. They will be mad they weren’t raised with their siblings. They will be sad that they lost that lifetime relationship. Sibling relationships are so important.
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Keep your baby. Get new friends!
Pray to God for guidance and dig deep into your soul for an answer to this question, What is BEST for your children?good luck
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Your responsibility is way behind,get fixed.
If you do an open adoption then you have more control than if you just give up the babies to an agency. When I found out my daughter was pregnant at 15 I found a very nice couple through my sister to adopt her child. I insisted on an open adoption so I could see my grandchild and know how it was. One of the best decisions that I made and yes< I made the decision because she was only 15.
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Think long and hard about this. It sounds like you really love this baby and don’t want to give her up. Don’t do something you’ll regret. Things have a way of working out. (((Hugs)))
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I rarely take the time to read long posts but I did read this one entirely. I’m absolutely not trying to come off harsh but truth is truth… first you have to look at yourself… you’re still making bad decisions in the fact that you allowed yourself to get pregnant again before you got your life together and got your other kids back. Health depts can help with birth control. Secondly…it’s a very tough situation. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows when a child goes up for adoption. Not all children are adopted, instead they spend their lives being passed from foster to foster never living a quality life. Your other children were lucky they didn’t get thrown in the system and they’re still together as siblings. With your continued bad decisions (getting pregnant again) you’re not only in a terrible situation but so are ALL your children. You can keep this baby and hope for the best (but good decisions also have to follow) and try to get your other kids back or you could give this baby up and get your other kids back but always have the guilt of giving this baby up. Either way…a ton of better decisions need to be made in your life before its going to get any better. Sometimes the truth is a hard pill to swallow but it needs to be told. After this baby. Please get on some kind of birth control before bringing anymore children into a dysfunctional situation that they never asked to be a part of.
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Māmā what do YOU want to do? Forget about everyone else for now because their opinions don’t matter a jot. A baby won’t care that you’re broke and struggling so long as she has love, food and a safe haven it doesn’t matter how much money you do, or do not have. If you feel like adoption is your only option in this situation then by all means go for it. Just whatever you do, make sure it’s a decision YOU can live with and not one you’ll regret.
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Don’t do it! keep your baby. You will regret it for the rest of your life 
I just had my fourth child and even though he wasn’t planned I am just so happy and complete . My husband said “ God only gives us what we need” and he is right. He(my son) is just so perfect, I’m so glad to have him! Things get better 
Honestly I’d think keeping this baby and proving you can be a good mom would actually help you gain some type of custody back to your other children. Put the new baby up for adoption in my opinion only gives your parents more proof that you can’t handle raising children. 
Also In my opinion it truly sounds like you want all your babies and that your only considering adoption out of guilt and fear that she also might be taken from you. Almost like giving her away on your own accord would hurt you less somehow…but I don’t think it will and i kinda think you will regret it later.
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If you can’t keep this baby you don’t need the other either. They are probly better off with your parents . I would never pick a concert over my child
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I would happily adopt a child. I couldn’t have kids and I’d love to raise one. The baby would have a big brother to.
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Legal aid might be able to help you get your kids back/ It’s worth a try.
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If you are seriously considering adoption Adpotion Options is an amazing agency that has open adoptions. Please educate yourself as much as you can about the process before committing. Also know 100% that this is what you want to do. The families adopting give their whole hearts to these children and a mother changing her mind before the 1 year is up is heartbreaking.
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