You wanting to go shopping with his money isn’t you buying your son’s school supplies. Sounds like he’s a responsible dad and gets this 1st.
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He’s paying for the supplies, she’s not working so he’s providing for his kids. What’s the problem? Maybe he wants to make sure the money is actually spent on school supplies instead of on herself. I’d do the shopping myself too if I were paying.
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So what do you want? Your cake and eat it too??
You’ll be there for the first day of school.
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I would be happy because most dads do nothing now days for their kids
He cant get him what he needs for school if you dont provide him with the supply list…just saying…
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Tell him you all 3 can go together and your kiddo can pick out the supplies
I always let my ex buy whatever he wants , and whatever he doesn’t get, I get . I figured its like always, I go behind him and insure my child has everything she needs on the list and then some. Its no big deal. I usually get personalized stuff backpack lunch box etc
I don’t see why your Mad unfortunately you don’t work right now and he is that’s why he said he’d buy the stuff …
Ugh reading these comments has me thinking my boys father is not that bad after all…
I would try to sell some things on marketplace and then you can say nevermind!
Hes the dad maybe he wants to do it as you have the kid all the time and he wants to feel special to.his son
Why don’t you ask to take the trip together? Like. Him saying he’ll get what your son needs isn’t unreasonable, it’s responsible. And there’s no reason he should miss out on this, milestone either. Share it instead of debating who gets it.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am upset I do not get to buy my sons first school supplies: Advice?
Maybe he wants to spend HIS money doing the same thing
He’s buying the school stuff so who cares, be grateful
Why not just tell him how you feel about it?
Get as much as you can with the money you have, and whatever he buys (if he buys) will be extra
Go after child support
Brian Rudolph shiiiiiiiit, you got school supplies when Beau goes to school?? By all means I will not stop you 
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Maybe you can go together.
Just get him the school list that way he buys the right things.
Give him the list and a be very appreciative because lots of dead beat fathers dont help.
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And these posts are exactly why the world is mean and full of bullies. It’s sad to think that so many of you rude people have kids. Why attack her? Geez smh This isn’t about your crappy situations with your baby daddy’s. A whole lot of you took this personally. Stop it.
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Maybe ask to go with?
So you’re not working, and obviously not on maternity leave since you have no income and you’re mad that he is buying the supplies🤔. Girl do you realize how many moms don’t even get a return text let alone an offer to buy the supplies? Be grateful especially if you’re not the one working to provide the things.
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Just be grateful he’s doing something
You JUST HAD a Baby 
& Now all of a sudden you wanna go school shopping with HIS MONEY:face_with_raised_eyebrow:
Please spare me
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When sharing custody of children each of you will experience not being there for the first of many things to come. If your child lives primarily with you I assume you will be there to drop off on the first day of school. He likely want be due to work. If he is providing for your child and in your child’s life it is a blessing. Picking your battles is best and I don’t feel this is one to be hurt over. Try and write your feelings down. Less likely to be interpreted and may get your feelings across better. Just remember to be civil. You are both parents. Tearing each other down will only hurt the children in the long run.
Could you ask if you could shop together?
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Let him do it. There’s plenty more firsts.
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Why don’t you both split it?
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Wow. This is what’s wrong with the world. A man actually wants to support his child. Maybe he doesn’t want his money micromanaged. And you’re upset. Unbelievable.
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Wow sounds to me like you are just being bitter 
let him buy the stuff. Its school supplies not really all that important. If you want to go buy stuff then get the money another way
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So he going to buy it. And your upset. At least he’s willing to go buy the supplies.
Look at the long game.
Did he get to go help sign y’all’s kid up for kindergarten or did he miss out on signing y’all’s kid up?
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Let him have this one. Tip though. Save some money ahead of time and go shopping for the second child schools supplies. That will be ur first time.
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Why don’t u ask your new baby daddy to spot u some money if its so important to you …??
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How about you go to the store and ask the store manager to pick out the stuff and put it away with the father’s name on it. Then take a pic of the total and send it to him to go and pick up. If he still doesn’t allow this then he is a real @$$ and I can see why you avoid him🙄
Yes, it socks you miss out. Genuinely. But it doesn’t suck that he is prepared to pitch in. As so many have pointed out, silver lining is he’s prepared to contribute. Take it.
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I know he’s an ex but can you do it together?
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Why not ask if you can go with him to help. Just tell him you are excited about it and that you appreciate him getting them, but you would like to feel included.
So, you’re mad he’s being a parent and making sure he has everything? I’m confused! Kindergarten didn’t just sneak up on you, you knew it was coming so why didn’t you have money put back? You can’t be mad at him for doing what you can’t do! Be appreciative, say thank you and see your baby off to school! Don’t cause a fight when one isn’t needed. You’ll probably need him to buy school clothes when your kid has a growth spurt 3 weeks after school starts! 
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I say this not mean at all, but you may take offense. If you can’t buy them, why are you mad he can. You can’t get them, you asked him, and he said he would get them… my kids haven’t even seen their dad in 5 years! Gosh ladies… be grateful, YOU ARE BOTHERED he won’t give you the money you don’t have! WTF is wrong with ppl?! No offense then you should’ve been able to somehow get money yourself.
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If you think he won’t actually buy his school supplies, start saving now just in case you have to take him yourself.
Yeah, you’re wrong. If you want to be able to do it then you would have needed to have the money to pay for it yourself. Unfortunately the dad can chose to not just give you money and go buy the supplies. If you had a better coparent relationship maybe it would have went differently
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Does he pay child support? If the answer is no, time to file for it.
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Is this about you? NOPE! If your child has what they need you should be thankful the other parent is being responsible and handling it. Very selfish of you to be concerned about how it makes you feel instead of keeping the focus on your child. You gotta pay the cost to be the boss so if you want to pick it out go make some money and stop asking your ex. Ask for help then complain about how you get it makes it pretty easy to see why he isn’t there anymore. Grow up and focus on your kids. Bringing another kid into the world when you can’t properly support the one you have, then you wanna complain about how dad steps up? SMH
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I will literally pay for the supplies for you. I’m sorry you came here for support and that is lacking. You are totally normal for wanting it to be you.
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As a mother I would like to be the one to choose the supplies for my kids, the first time is special for them and we want to be part of it. Do you have family that can help?.. your parents, sisters?.. maybe create an amazon wishlist with some of the supplies your family can get one or two for him, and Im sure some of us can also contribute with one or two items. The dad can also buy them that way without giving you the money.
See, I get that you want to be the one to do it. I totally do. But if it’s his money provided, you aren’t the one who’s getting the stuff. Physically you are, but it’s on someone else’s tab.
I’m going through a divorce with my kids’ father and the biggest piece of advice I can give you is: pick your battles.
You have at least 13 more years of firsts coming up and unfortunately divorce, or a split in general, means some firsts are going to be missed. Believe me, I know firsthand that that’s a fact that sucks.
There’s a lot of parents out there that couldn’t care less about whether their kids have school supplies, or even clothes on their backs. This father not only wants to pay for it but wants to get it. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but this is a win. Take it. I hope things get better for y’all. At the end of the day you both have to remember it’s not about the parents feelings but the kids and at the end of the day, whether you bought them or he did, your child will have school supplies. That’s what counts.
Good luck.
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Based on your income didn’t you just get $900 on the 15th of July for 3 kids under 6 years old with another $900 a month coming to you every month the rest of the year like everyone else with kids because of the covid child tax credit thing? That should buy a lot of school supplies.
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Everyone going after a mom who just had a baby . You all are disgusting . Who cares how you feel . Literally try and make her feel better or shut up . People are disgusting 
Your child is just starting school there’s plenty of years for you to buy for him just be grateful that he’s going to buy it some dad’s don’t care rather their children need things
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First I’d like to say that I do understand your excitement with school supply shopping (minor to some but not for me). Second, get your child’s supply list, visit a few supply giveaways in your area, and mark off what you can from the list. Considering it doesn’t cost you anything but your time, it is pretty rewarding. Plus, the giveaways are usually attached to some family time event for the kids. You’ll forget about who bought the supplies as you’re crying your eyes out seeing your little off on his first day! And remember dads like those times too. Hopefully dad continues to help like this because eventually you’ll get tired of store hopping for 50 “3-pronged, plastic folders with plastic name label” and 10 “picture-story composition notebooks” and all of the new outrageous supplies lol
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I’d just be so grateful to have the extra help. I raised 3 solo and had to work 2 jobs in summer for supplies. I understand your disappointed but be grateful. It could be so much worse, like him being an absent worthless POS.
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Let me get this straight… You asked your child’s father for “help” to buy school supplies and he said " he will just buy them" and you are mad???..no wonder he doesn’t want to deal with you. So are you mad that he won’t give you extra money ( besides child support) for your kid(s)? He is literally doing what is best for the child. You can not afford school supplies, so he is buying them. This man cannot win…SMH
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I usually pay for either my son’s uniform each year or the stationery, and alternate between years. For things like school camps, I pay half. For clothes, I usually pay for the most essential things. This is on top of any child support I pay, and what I already provide when he is in my care.
There are only 3 to 6 times a year when I stress about it, mainly for big one-offs that are unexpected, but they’re always taken care of. As I don’t smoke, don’t do drugs, don’t have excessive debt, don’t live a ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ lifestyle, and don’t buy into mass consumerism of junk, my son’s needs are always met (or what you would call an equal share). Soon as my son was born, this is how I’ve been living life - it’s far more rewarding seeing him happy and thriving, than indulging in pleasures that are only temporary.
If you’re in a financially challenging situation, I’d say just let him pay for it. There will be another ‘first’ opportunity you can do the same thing for - perhaps supplies for your kid’s first sports team, their upcoming birthday, braces, glasses, etc.
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Love your child more than you dislike your husband. Your child will not remember who bought the supplies. Be grateful your child’s dad is involved and willing to help.
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You have every right to your feelings, stupid as they may be 
You want to buy the shit - get a job. And should’ve put him on child support. Now ya know for next year to plan ahead.
If you can’t afford to buy them you shouldn’t have a problem with him buying them smh
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Perhaps ask dad if you can go with him since it’s the first time. Or split the list so you can still be apart of it.
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On one hand, I get you wanting to be the one to do the school shopping…it’s a nice memory. On the other hand, does it really matter who gets the supplies if your child has what they need? There will be many other “firsts” that you’ll get to experience with your child. Be grateful that you have an ex that is willing to do for your child…there are a lot who don’t have that…and look forward to the next “first” that you’ll be part of.
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Go to a dollar store for some things if you can afford it and just be happy somehow the child is having their needs met. Focus on the positives.
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Does it matter WHO gets the supplies? As long as they are bought. I’d be going with him to buy the stuff too.
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Why not ask to go together? He could be trying to help, not take away. Maybe he’s offering bc you just had a baby?
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You may want to look into Postpartum it can make your emotions go crazy. Be glad he is helping I dont get any help but from my husband and my kids are not his .
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Wouldn’t it be his first time as well? Maybe he’s also excited ?
And I dont understand the end of your post… can he not buy things on the weekend …?
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Not sure if you have any legal aid where you are but if so, getting guidelines for your ex to adhere to; such as expenses like clothing for different seasons for instance, school supplies each year, school trips, graduations, basic needs…would allow this kind of upset and stress to be relieved. Even your ex would benefit from it bc he would know what was expected from and by him and there wouldn’t have to be this control and back and forth negotiating each time something arises.
As it stands, it sounds like he gets the last say, if that’s what he wants. Unfortunately you are at his mercy until you get something legal in place.
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Maybe let him get his supplies you get his clothes… or say you want to get his backpack at least it something along those lines
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All schools provide a list give it to dad put a smile on and remember to take pics of your child on the first day of the rest of his life. It sounds like you’ll be the on with him on that first day.
Just let it go. You will have a chance to maken plenty of memories.
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My God, let Dad buy some things and you go to the Dollar Store and buy a few notebooks and pencils if it’ll make you feel better. This is not a detrimental thing to be upset about!
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don’t be made or upset…help you son pack his back pack for the first day.
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Maybe he will lose interest in the idea eventually and just give you the money? I was excited getting my kids first school supplies as well.
It’s his money not yours. Let him spend his money on your kid. Smh you’re blessed to have him help out. I never ask for money simply for my kids dad to buy him the things he needs if he can. That way there is no question about what the money was used for. Or go together if it’s that important to you
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I can’t deal with some of the cr@p that gets posted in this group
Your ex is offering to help. He doesn’t have to give you the money. He had absolutely no reason to give you the money when he can buy what your son needs, himself. Instead of having a boo boo about it, think of all those kids who don’t get anything of their fathers.
Just be thankful he is helping!!! Makes your wonder if the OP wants the money for something else
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Remind me to never ever to turn to this page when in need of support.
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Hell I would be kissing his butt in thanks
My kids dad does not buy anything for my kids … I do it all
I could only wish he would just buy a pencil let alone all of it!
You should be so so GRATEFUL
His money, his choice.
Wtf? You should be grateful.
Stop whining. Sooner then later he will stop buying any things
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You have a right to your feelings, but your ex isn’t obligated to cater to them. If he is the one paying for the school supplies, he absolutely has a right to be there when they are bought. If you two have a semi-good relationship like you say, perhaps you can ask him if you can all go together to pick stuff out. That way, both of you can be involved. Seems like a win-win.
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Maybe try talking to him & asking if you can go with him to get the stuff? That way both of yall get to pick stuff out for your son and you both get the experience or excitement of doing it.
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That’s his money and you asked for help so take what you’re getting 
if you don’t feel he’ll even get what’s needed then that’s on you to figure that out.
You could ask if he could include you ? If he says no oh well…
Does he not pay child support? I would think school supplies are something child support would pay for so you wouldn’t even have to ask him for money.
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Don’t you get any child support?? If not, why not?
Bring your son to the store, take pics of all the stuff he wants, and text them to your ex. Dads usually don’t care about those kinds of details and you’ll make the shopping trip easier on him while still having the experience with your son.
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Uhhhhh get over it. At least hes helping. Just cause its not ur way doesn’t make it bad or something to fight about. If we buy my steps school supplies we take them ourselves, we definitely dont just hand money over to his ex. Even more so if he already pays child support.
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Look at it this way, it saves you a trip from having to go to the store and your son’s getting what he needs.
How about dad excitement. At least he want to do it
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So why not u both go shopping 2gether?
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If you’re asking him for the money to buy the things your guys son needs for school then he should have the right to go buy them. If you want to go shopping then just ask him if you can come along because you’d like that first time experience also. But really if he’s the one paying for things just take it as it if he says no
Ask if you can go with him to help him get everything on the list? If he says no…Otherwise let it go.
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Be thankful he gets supplies. It’s not anything to be sad about.
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Maybe he feels same as you…maybe he don’t want to miss out too
Maybe you can meet him at the store and do it together. That way the kid feels both are doing it
Go to the dollar store to get some goodies if you cant afford more. He might feel the same way you do.
Or Lizzie Lambert they could just buy thee packet the school offers…easy
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You are being Petty! Period. Let that man father his child, let that man also get in on those awesome moments of wanting to shop for your son. Why in the hell does she feel entitled to take the child just because she’s the mom? Do dad’s not deserve that as well? You have a man that is actually wanting to do things for the child and be apart of things and you’re being this petty over him shopping for school supplies. Honey get you some help because I feel for him if he has to deal with that.
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Having 3 kids and many many many years of buying school supplies, be thankful.
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