In my opinion I feel you are overreacting… You’re allowed to feel how you feel, yes, but you also have to remember he is a part of her just as much as you are. Now if the shirt said I hate my mom I could see you being upset. He honestly probably wasn’t even thinking of you when he bought that shirt.
Hmm I can understand your feelings considering “if he were a better, more present dad”. But honestly, you are stressing and upsetting yourself over something so small. Your (probably justified) bitterness is the culprit. Forgive, give up control, and move on. Save your energy for something of higher importance. This ain’t it honey. You’ll be happier, I promise!
I think its dumb to be upset over a shirt. I’d just not do anything petty because at least he’s around, and your child does love her dad so I don’t understand why it’s so upsetting to you.
I’m sorry but, what? Are you serious? I think it’s clear which one of you is self centered, Jesus, get over the bullshit or YOU will hurt your baby. If she could read would it matter if her shirt said I love dad? It shouldn’t but I’m sure you’ll find a reason. SMDH. Shame on you.
It is just a shirt with a saying on it! You should not even react to it basically. I was divorced and never ever talked bad or down about their father! If she likes the shirt then I would just let her wear it!!! My children found out what there Dad was like when grown up! I did not have to even tell them,they found out all on their own!!!
It’s just a shirt. If She wants to wear it let her wear it. Because while you worry about your feelings and he worries about his no one is thinking about he child’s feelings in the matter
I as a divorced woman with two kids from that marriage will still buy dad shirts for my kids. It’s a freaking shirt. I might not like him but my kids do.
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It’s her dad and I’m sure she loves him. Wow! Buy her I love my mom shirt too. Wth is wrong with women and pettiness… 
Why so much focus on a shirt. She can love both parents whether you believe he’s not deserving of her love or not. It doesn’t matter if she can read. I’m sure she even says I love you to him. Let it be. Grow up. Stop wasting energy on something so stupid.
you have some serious problems. You are absolutely being petty and childish. Your feelings DO NOT MATTER ANYMORE. ITS NOT ABOUT YOU. ITS ABOUT THAT 4 YEAR OLD LITTLE GIRL. Gfy seriously.
Men honestly don’t think like that. All he cared about is that she was dressed. There’s nothing wrong with a kid that loves a parent.
You’re definitely overreacting. It’s just a shirt. Rejoice in the fact that you have a beautiful little girl, and don’t worry about the relationship she has with her dad.
Silly! This is just fricken silly! You should be grateful that he is putting clothes on her back! And why should he take your feelings into consideration when you’d are no longer together? This just sound like your still in love with him. You need to build a bridge and stop being a Karen!!
Seriously??? You’re this upset over a SHIRT that says that she loves her dad?? Wow. It’s shirt. Not a big deal.
I threw all the “I love dad” shit in the bin. My sons never met his dad(his dad walked out on us at 10wks preg) my son is 4, he can partially read and he can write really well. He understands alot for a 4yr old.
My suggestion is (because I live in your shoes) let it be. She’s four and she knows already that he’s absent and will see it for the next 40 years.
No need to dress her in it, unless she picks it….feel free to pack it when he does end up having her.
Be the bigger person, a shirt is the least of your struggles
Godspeed 
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Clearly the past was damaging to you. I understand your feelings. But this shirt is bringing up old feelings you need to deal with. A counselor could help you with your past feelings being bottled up. It’s okay for her to wear the shirt, you need to heal so these type of things are not bothersome. Please take care and get the help to heal.
Lol next time she goes with her dad send her in a shirt that says I love my Mommy! 
First world problems 
I’m still with my kids partner and they have more ‘daddy’s girl’ or ‘I love dad’ than they do anything with mum, I obviously love my kids but why would you take such offence to a shirt
I don’t know the whole story so keep that in mind. If you are getting upset over a T-shirt Then you have some serious growing up to do. I raised 2 children with an absent mother mother. My husband’s children from his 1st marriage. She was in-and-out of their lives for their entire lives. They are now 21 and 19. I would have just been thankful that she finally contributed chopped something by buying them a shirt. You need to really become a bigger person if you are going to continue to coparent with this man. Because I really can’t think of any reason why this would upset anyone. I also wonder if you sent her back wearing it if that would create some sort of Olive branch to dad add that would cause him to be more present, instead of continually having issues with things that really just don’t even matter. Sometimes non custodial parents avoid the children because they don’t care to interact with the adult. Not saying that that’s okay or gives him a pass or that is what is going on here. It’s just the reality of it.
Is this for real? I mean… what? A child isn’t allowed to love their father now? Good grief.
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You are completely overreacting. Period. It’s a shirt and she DOES love her father, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you.
You’re not overreacting, he did it on purpose. Unfortunately you do have to find a way to not let it bother you. Say nothing to him because he’s waiting for your reaction. Never doubt your own feelings on something.
OMG get over yourself! She loves her dad and probably loves a shirt saying that. Deal with your issues before you transfer them to your child! Holy cow!
My ex treated me and equated all SAHM like an UNEMPLOYED BUM but my kid still has a shirt that says he loves his dad. Has always had a shirt like that for BOTH of us. I dislike the shirt BUT the best part I BOUGHT IT FOR MY SON… and i specifically send him in it to his dads. Cool story mom, move past your feelings. Its a shirt.
Your relationship with your ex is completely different and separate from your child’s relationship with her father. It can be hard depending on the circumstances, but if you don’t separate the two relationships then it will become toxic and your child will suffer for it.
Yup. You are overreacting. If you aren’t in a relationship, it isn’t his job or responsibility to consider your feelings. Its hard after initially splitting to not let the little things irk you. However, if you want to be happy, you’ve got to let the resentment go. For your daughters sake. You have to find peace, so that these things don’t bother you. Because if you let it, that resentment will eat you alive and destroy your ability to ever find peace or happiness.
As for your daughter, she’s going to idolize him regardless of his presence. She’ll unfortunately be disappointed later in life due to his absence. For now, let her be happy and think he’s the hero she imagines he is. Why crush her little heart. He will do that all on his own.
I promise your daughter loves her father despite everything. Please don’t ever make her feel guilty for that. You are projecting onto her bigtime
It’s just a shirt. If she truly loves her dad, then stop making a fuss. She’ll love her daddy all her life. Don’t be jealous. Be glad he has at least a semi active role in her life. Don’t ruin the potential for good co-parenting. You MUST get along with him. For your daughters sake.
She has a right to love her dad as well as her mom, you said she loves him and it’s not about you . Yep overreacting
The shirt isn’t the issue. Ask yourself why this action upsets you. He is seeking affirmation that he means something to his daughter. Maybe you could verbally affirm to him that he has been doing better stepping up. Time to think today abs tomorrow and not letting history guide your feelings
She’s lucky that he’s present even if it’s once and awhile. My x died and my son doesn’t even have one. Have her wear a shirt that says I love my mommy next visit. But I see where it would make sense to be a little upset but she loves you no matter what any shirt says yah no.
Please seek therapy at this point. Buy a shirt that says “I love mom.” This isn’t about the shirt, this is about your unresolved kssues
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Wow. I’m honestly so embarrassed for you. There are so many things you can legit be upset over in this world, a shirt that says I Love Dad is not one of them. Get over it.
In my opinion you’re are overreacting a wee bit. Regardless of how present he is or isn’t, that doesn’t change the love they have for their father. When y’all had kids it is no longer about you or how you feel.its about them babies. Let them wear the shirts, what’s it gonna hurt. Let the children form their own opinion about their father as they grow up. Don’t be that mom that poisons her kids against their father because a shirt made you feel some kind of way.
I went through the same thing and no matter how present he was or wasn’t or even if he ran out on child support, I never interfered with their relationship
She was able to form her own opinion of him. She is now 23 and tells me all the time how much she appreciates me for not bashing her dad (although he bashed me) Even if you feel your ex is taking a dig at you, be the better person. He wins if he knows it’s getting to you.
What…. I bought my child a “My mommy is my hero” shirt and I still send her to her dad’s in it. Whatever happened between you two, does not have to affect your child. She can still love her daddy just as much as you
she did say she was feeling guilty of it, and I highly doubt she acted upon her feelings towards the tshirt. if anything she was looking for positive reinforcement smh its one thing to not sugarcoat your opinion but for someone who dislikes how she feels about it im pretty sure she can do without all the harshness.
It’s a shirt? Get over it 
how is her wearing a shirt that says “love my dad” any different than her wearing a shirt that says something like mommy’s girl or whatever? I swear some moms really be reaching with some of the crap that pisses them off. First world problems for real.
I’m thinking you’re assuming things and not considering your daughter and her dad’s feelings, either. It is an innocent shirt, and a true statement.
If he is a good dad or not is irrelevant, that little girl doesn’t know or pay attention to that stuff yet and still loves him AND you like y’all are best people on the planet even if y’all are not.
Also it’s not his job to take your feelings into consideration anymore, his only job is to be there how ever and whenever he can for his daughter. Do the same and stop reading into things that have nothing to do with you.
Roll your eyes about it and move on girl. It’s draining so much energy from you that you could be using to be an even better parent.
Plus you sound bitter and childish, so LET IT GO.
Chill out… Get and I love my mom shirt. So will you freak out when she makes fathers day things in school? Calm down mama it is a shirt. Have a nice drink and be thankful he bought her a shirt.
Well that’s a level of petty I can’t understand. Just pack the shirt with her every time she goes to spend time with him. Sounds like you haven’t let go of past hurt and you’re rolling it over to their relationship. Separate situation. It’s clear you wasn’t going to buy her a shirt acknowledging her dad so what’s the real issue?
It doesn’t matter if you feel he’s not a present dad, HER view on her dad is what matters. You’re not wrong for having feelings, I won’t invalidate you. But at the end of the day HER feelings are what matters most.
As a divorced mom I have to say, if he is buying her things and spending time with her, you are way ahead of some of us. Believe me, it’s way harder to look at your daughter and explain why daddy doesn’t want to see her, let alone spend any money on her food, clothing, housing, or feeding. Be happy with what you have.
Your overreacting…
why would it hurt you that she’s wearing a shirt that says “ I love my dad?” What is the harm in that. Sounds like a jealousy to the dad IMO.
Hell, I wish my kids dad bought them a shirt that says that. I mean they are 12 and 14 now, but I still wouldn’t mind them wearing a shirt that says, they love their dad!
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My daughter wears one that says “daddy thinks he’s in charge… that’s so cute” and I let her wear it when her sperm donor has never met her. She does have an adoptive dad and he’s always working on the road so we hardly see him too but even when it’s just me I put the onesie on. You’re overreacting. Try sending her back in it.
ok send her back with it on. … not being mean, but seeing i have dealt with 4 bio moms ( thanks to 2 marriages… 1 currenting in and all kids are now adults) dont sweat the small stuff like this. now i would be more upset if it said something but … my mom is good but my step is better… omg i would flip…
Honestly who cares. She will decide on her own one day and she will be old enough to know that her dad is non present and a dead beat and she won’t be caught dead in a shirt like that.
This is so ridiculous. Your reaction is probably EXACTLY what he was going for, hoping it would get to you. Just roll your eyes at the shirt (not in front of your daughter obv) and move on lol.
Just send her wearing it when she goes out with dad. Doesn’t have to wear it when she’s with you. ‘Dad day tshirt’
this must be a joke…your daughter can’t read and you need to build a bridge n get over it, just cause your relationship went down the shitter doesn’t mean that negativity needs to be passed onto her and her dad’s
Hes just as important to her as you are. Most kids don’t see any difference until there much older.
girl get over it. it’s a shirt and she loves her dad too no matter how present he is or not
Instead of getting mad over it instead do something positive and every time she goes to her dads put her in this shirt. Show kindness over frustration.
Gosh some of you woman are brutal. I understand why she feels that way. Sure its silly, but she’s a committed mom and from what she said, he’s a dad when he feels like it. When I’m having a rough patch with my kids dad, I have moments like this too. I’ll be shopping for kids cloths, see something I like, then notice it says something like “daddys girl” or “cool like dad” and I won’t buy it petty or not, its human nature. And when you love someone so intensely like your children, feelings like this happen.
I understand. Mine doesn’t usually send her back in the same clothes I send her in, so I try to send her in all her dad shirts to his place to get rid of them lol. I try not to send the kids over in “I love mom” shirts cuz there is a level of intentional disrespect doing that. But at the end of the day, it’s a shirt, man. If you’re worried about it or it happens often, bring a backup change of clothes and change her when you get her. No reason for anyone to be petty or upset. Especially when, by your own words, she does love him. Most dads want to show their kids off, too. Long as your baby is healthy, fed, and clothed, no reason to get upset. Let him do him, and you do you.
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The thing is… it’s not about you. So long as your daughter feels loved by her Dad or wants to exhibit love for her Dad, that’s what matters. Does it play a part in filling up her happy cup? If yes, then leave it be and suck it up. Even if your daughter wears it for spite because you told her, “No,” about something, suck it up. It’s important for her to develop her own perceptions about the norms of her and her father’s relationship; you don’t want to make negative comments about that relationship cuz she will remember that and blow it even more out of proportion. Let her discover her own feelings about the man, and unfortunately, as the adult, you’ll need to either suck it up or bite your tongue.
Def overreacting. I sent my son with a shirt about mom on when I dropped him off to his dads fiancé. I thought for a second if she would be upset about it, it was laundry day for me, and the only short sleeved shirt. Then I thought “If they go anywhere everyone will think she’s his mom” and I stopped myself and said “oh who cares if anyone thinks that, it’s a silly shirt and my own abandonment issues aren’t going to control this” boom done and done. Plus she’s his step mom, and helps him and myself so much! Same with the dad situation. I wouldn’t be offended. If anything I am sooooo grateful both my kids have amazing fathers who love them more than anything. It’s something the kids, mothers and fathers should all be able to show it proudly however they want! 
Why does it matter what the shirt says. At least her father is in her life many kids would wish to be able to wear that shirt and have a father figure. You are over reacting plus sounds like you have controlling issues. If every little things upsets you how can someone think about what will or will not upset you. They would have to walk on eggshells
this child about to have a long, toxic childhood…
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Definitely overreacting. This is super petty. She could be wearing dirty clothes with holes. I’m sure there are other things to worry about…
Really your definitely over reacting it’s a dang shirt that he obviously thought was cute. Seems your just taking it the wrong way.
I really really do not like my chidrens father…but i wouldnt care if they wore that shirt …hey at least she got clothes
This is ridiculous… she loves her dad… why can’t she wear a shirt that says it? Grow up… this is the most childish thing I’ve read 
I don’t care if I get deleted off this site or not because this shouldn’t of even been posted it’s absolutely stupid.
Really? I buy my kids shirts with those phrases cause I like the shirt. I don’t even think about their deadbeat dad.
WOW… This is worse than over reacting. This is complete and utter nonsense… she has to be joking, she’s joking right?
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From my own personal experience, as my parents split when i was around kindergarten age… since the dad isnt really around, same as mine. He’s prolly just trying to make himself feel better, make himself feel/look like he’s actually a (good) dad to her? Whenever my dad would come around he would always take us to do things that my mom didn’t/couldn’t. Not as anything against her, but just whatever made us like being with him because he was never around, & thats if he even showed up to get us. Very often he would be a no-show & not even call. Dont take it personally at all, let him pretend to be an awesome dad & let your kid enjoy it, she will grow to learn who was always really there for her, you.
Um. You are way over reacting OR misplacing your anger. I think what you are really upset about is that he is not a present dad so focus on what you’re going to do about that and forget about a silly shirt.
At least she sees her dad, grow up and get over it
Sorry to be blunt but seriously 
I think that if you were together it wouldn’t bother you as much.
It’s the same as wearing one that says I love my Mom. Try not to be upset I don’t think that he even gave it a second thought and didn’t even think about it upsetting you. He obviously loves your daughter. I would definitely have her wear it when she is going to his house.
Ermm yes you’re overreacting,you’re actually making it out to be like its all about you are your feelings,seriously get over yourself its a t-shirt ffs
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Oh no honey! Your resentment towards him is yours and yours alone. Both parents play a very important part in a child’s life. You should want her to love her Dad and her Dad to love her. Your relationship should not drive a wedge between her and her father’s relationship. That’s really not right to do. Encourage them to have a healthy relationship and leave your feelings for him aside.
It is not about you. She loves daddy let her rock it get a shirt that says I love mommy and let her rock that too.
I’ve sent a shirt i got for my daughter to her dads. It also said daddys girl. I didn’t mind but I wanted the shirt to be at his place for when she’s there. No big deal if it comes back, send it back again next time lol
Well she should love her dad, so it’s an appropriate tee. Get her one that has your mom phrase on it.
You’re over thinking this. She doesn’t have to wear it when she’s with you.
Not even gonna put this nice grow up! Its a shirt and your child love her dad! Get over it
It’s a shirt. As long as you are doing your part, it doesn’t matter what shirt he gets her. A little over dramatic for me.
If she’s acting like this over a shirt, just imagine all the bad mouthing about the dad she does in front of the child. This woman needs therapy. I have a pos baby daddy, yet, this wouldn’t have bothered me, my kids are now older and my oldest at 12 seen him for who he really is all on her own and hasn’t talked to him since. All things like this does is mess up the child and push them away from BOTH parents. Just let it go and move on and seek therapy.
How you feel towards him should not be how she feels towards him. Same as how he feels towards you is not how she feels towards you. You being upset by a shirt allowing her to express her feelings for her dad, whom apparently isn’t as present as you would like, is not worth the stress and aggravation. When she gets older, she will see who was there for her more. Just enjoy spending the time with her. And love her unconditionally. Which means don’t be upset over her shirt unless it has swear words on it or an inappropriate image. Her love is not a competition. You both should just love her and allow her to love you both. That’s the part of parenting. Regardless of how you and him feel about each other. Teach her to be civil and understanding, by being civil and understanding.
If it still bothers you that much, go buy a “my mom is my best friend” shirt, and she can wear that next time he has time with her. Either way, I really don’t think as a male, he is doing it to upset you. He is probably just enjoying time spent with her. As you should be doing as well.
Get over it , she loves her dad and he probably didn’t intend to hurt your feelings. She was with him while wearing the shirt
At least she’s clothed? Like it doesnt matter whether you love him or not! You said she loves him so why cant her shirt say that?
This is childish 
. If it bothers you soo much Children’s Place is always having a sale & they sell I love mom, mommy is my bestie, etc shirts in multipacks. This really shouldn’t inspire frustration though.
- It’s a tshirt.
- She’s allowed to live her dad whether you think he’s worthy or not.
- Her wearing that tshirt doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love you as her mother nor does it mean he’s saying she doesn’t love you.
Get over yourself 
Being a divorced parent is tough. Just ignore the shirt. You are going to have a lot more important battles to fight. Save your emotional energy for them.
You are definitely overreacting this is the silliest thing I have ever read, it’s a shirt that says I love my dad, so what🤷🏻♀️ I mean seriously?? It’s not like she came home with marks and bruises on her. You need to swallow your ego and suck it up.
I feel you! I’ve felt that way being a single mother and having to be only care giver. I wouldn’t buy anything that said anything with dad in it bc he wasn’t involved and ignored his kids for such a long time. But now iam okay and my children’s dad grew up and we are on good terms.
It’s good that she loves him. He will always be her father. You picked him, so what did you expect? She’s:
4
Impressionable
Will have a lot of her self esteem rooted in him, good or bad.
And you can change.
The time will come when she will decide with neither one of your opinions weighing in
So what can you do?
Love her
Do not put down her father
Do not fight with him in front of her
Do not tell her she can’t see him (that’s for the courts to decide)
Teach her to be a strong, bright, and intelligent young woman who will make good choices, because you can’t make them for her.
I speak with the voice of experience. I had 2 daughters with different fathers. One was a Disneyland daddy, the other just absent with a “bring her across country to see me, pay for it all, send her alone even tho she’s only 3” attitude.
I could tell you nightmares each of them went through: if you tell them bad things about him, fight with him on the phone or in person in front of them or tell her she’s just like him. But carefully read the first half of this post. Don’t do what I did. Don’t have her base her self-worth on what you think of her father.
I married one superman of a husband when my girls were 3 & 5. Best thing for all of us. He wasn’t my type. But he was exactly what I needed.
Good luck.
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Yes you are over reacting. Just put short on when she is going to dad’s, and don’t let her wear it around you if it bothers you so much. That’s probably why dad got the shirt on the fist place, to bother you.
At least his shirt doesn’t say “Best Dad Ever!”… she does love him and that’s it. However… I am a tiny bit spiteful and probably would just toss or donate the shirt and not send her back wearing it. Maybe the shirt has a bleaching accident 
. Lol… I wouldn’t waste your energy bringing it up. Your daughter will see the truth in her own time. You’re only job is to continue being a killer mom and co-parenting as best as possible. That’s it… no point spending time and energy on something like this.
If he sent her home in a filthy nasty shirt I could understand, but this is one of those times where you need to realize your emotions are affecting your maturity.
I believe you are very much overreacting here.
If you say she loves him then why is it an issue to wear a shirt that says so?
Buy her a shirt that says “I love my Mom”.
Its factual information and if she is spending time with him and you admit that she loves him there shouldnt be an issue.
This sounds like more of a “you” problem than a problem for anyone else.
Work with the Dad to bring her up in a loving environment rather than be jealous or upset. It isnt a competition. Its a human life.
You dont have to like him which is why you arent together, but for the sake of your daughter. Put your differences aside and work as adults to be role models for her and show her that love is important.
One of more important things in life is teach your kids Genuine love is not a love that uses other people or just has people in their life , where they can make a profit from them. Genuine love forgets the self and is fully present for the other, for the sake of the other. Genuine love gives of its time, effort and energy for the sake of the other, not for the sake of the self. In genuine love, you care for the other for the sake of caring for them. People are present in your life because you care about them and their well-being. Genuine love is patient and understanding; it approaches the other with love. It does not have a usury mentality. It is tender, merciful, and encouraging, even in times when it offers constructive criticism. Genuine love never points back to itself, but always points back to the one who is loved. Genuine love does not just have people in their life for self-promotion, or to better their self-esteem, or for their own self-interest or self-worth. People who genuinely love others have the people that are in their life because they care about them and love them. People who genuinely love each other show it, express it, and cherish it, without expecting something in return. They give of themself merely to give of themself. They do not have ulterior motives. They are genuine and true. They are authentic.
So, in a consumeristic culture, how do we become more genuinely loving? A shirt don’t make you less mom or dad 
PLEASE tell me you’re not serious? It’s a shirt… she’s going to outgrow it anyway and if she loves him, who are you to be upset? Like check yourself as to why that bothers you so much and why you can’t be happy that he’s at least trying and putting clothes on her? Seriously…
Don’t make it a thing. My husband still ticks me off and he’s my kids dad.
Why would this even hurt your feelings? Don’t you want your child to love her dad? And her dad to love her?
I guess I can’t figure out why this would upset you.
leave it alone let her where the shirt its not about u or how u feel she love him an thts all
This is just my opinion…you are entitled to YOUR feelings regardless of what people on the internet think. Don’t look for understanding on here. You know those feelings are there, whether right or wrong. Now it is up to you to handle YOUR feelings in the best way possible for your daughter. You don’t need people, especially strangers, to make you feel worse about yourself then you probably already do. I have been there myself. NO ONE will understand YOUR feelings because no one else is in YOUR situation. No one else is in it now or previous to the split. It does get easier though. I wish you peace.
Well, would you rather she hated her dad? Do yourself a favor: don’t get inbetween your daughter and her love for her father. Don’t speak ill of him in your daughter’s presence, ever. She needs to think his is Superman right now. He’s not - no dad really is - but for her security and stability, let her think he is. If he falls down on the job, she’ll figure it out. Eventually your daughter will thank you. Go the other route and she may end up with him.
I’m just here to say I understand. Maybe it is overreacting, but I dont think so because you never said anything to your daughter about it, didn’t take it off her or tell her it was bad or something. You just have some PRIVATE feelings about it and you can’t help that. I understand because my girl’s dad is the same way. He likes to play the awesome, loving dad with gestures like this (always where people can see and comment on it because society praises and rewards dads for even the most basic involvement) but is completely uninvolved in any real aspect of her life. He often complained when we were together that I never bought these kinds of shirts, but he went clothes shopping with us and he could pick out those things if he had any interest in helping, but he never did. It hurts to see your partner putting on this little performance when you know the truth. But you didn’t show any of that to your daughter, you came to a place away from her to vent your feelings and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.