It’s quite a reach to believe that he would buy this shirt simply to get at you. The way he treated you has zero to do with how much he can love his child.
Yes you are overreacting, because you still Hurt from that experience.
Avoid narcissistic thinking , it prob had nada to do e you or your feelings.
And if by some odd chance it DID, why give him the satisfaction of a reaction?
Let her wear the shirt when she wants .
You better get used to it. She is going to love her Daddy & she is going to express that love. Not just until she is 18 neither. If you want to have an abiding true relationship with your daughter for the rest of your lives you will have to accept that she loves her DadThe sooner you accept that the better if you will be.
I sure hope you can find something else to be upset about because that shirt is a small thing. Did her dad even buy the shirt for her or did someone else? Wash it, fold it up and send it back with her when she goes. Love her and some day she will not even remember the shirt.
You may want to consider therapy for some unresolved issues. while i can understand it’s frustrating when you feel like they could be a better dad you’re holding onto things that aren’t healthy if this is bothering you. It’s not healthy for you and if your child picks up on it, it’s not healthy for her.
Stop wasting your energy over thinking this. Maybe channel that energy into teaching your 4yr old to read. Your daughter is going to need the both of you all the time while growing up. So do her a favor and show you love her by saying something like " I love your shirt" as it will cheer her up which is what alot of children lack these days from parents. Hope the best for you all.
I understand why you’re upset. But at least he got something for her… and knows her size even.
I buy my kids clothes that say stuff about their dad. My son got one that said, “yes I know I look like my dad” and my daughter got one about being a daddy’s girl.
And when they visit his family or him I send those clothes.
I think you’re overreacting.
Maybe he’s doing it to be a butt but even if he is it’s not that BIG of a deal.
Your feelings are valid but please don’t react in a bitter or petty way. Let her have her relationship with her dad and stay in your lane unless any actual real issues come up. You’ll thank yourself in the long run if you just let the insignificant things go.
My brother in-law did this to his baby mamma. To get her mad. But got the boyfriend mad instead. Fyi she moved on hella fast.
This reeks of extreme control issues. The little loves her daddy. Let her. Regardless of how involved he is, all she knows is she loves him and he’s her daddy. If you can’t figure out how to deal with that now, you run the risk of preventing or damaging a relationship between them in the future. Why would you do that to your child?
Being upset over a shirt that says I love my dad, is petty and childish. It sounds to me like you have some resentment towards the father and are looking for anything to be upset about. Maybe you still have feelings for him?? You are going to have to get that under control because you will be dealing with him for the rest of your lives. You want to have a healthy environment for your child so the pettiness has to go. Of course she loves her dad and her mom!! I highly doubt he bought the shirt to hurt you! At least he is trying to be in her life and buying her clothes, be thankful for that!!
I think you are overreacting, Your feelings about him are irrelevant where your daughter is concerned, She loves her dad, And he shouldn’t have to consider how you’ll take it if he buys her a shirt that states that, Whether he’s fully present or not, You do not matter in that regard. It sounds like you resent her love for him or having to face anything that directs toward it.
You need to come to terms with the fact that no matter how crap a dad or man you think he is, Your daughter loves the man that is her father.
My ex isn’t the greatest, We aren’t friends and do not get along other than my indifferent amicability at pick up and drop off, But I tell my daughter (9) all the time (when she enquires as to why we aren’t friends etc) as long as she is happy and he is looking after her when she’s with him, Then that’s all that matters to me.
Personally, I think you’re putting way too much thought into it. Don’t give him an ounce of your time or him the satisfaction of knowing I got any type of rise out of you. It’s a shirt at the end of the day.
Lack of thought on his part???.. He loves his daughter…his daughter loves him. You’re absolutely ridiculous. It’s a SHIRT. Grow up and check your insecurities.
Regardless if your daughter can’t read or not, she obviously loves her dad…rather he’s there like he should be or not. Idk why you would even be upset about this honestly. That’s just silly 
Really?! Yes! You’re over reacting! He’s her dad. You wouldn’t be upset if she were to come home wearing a shirt that says mom instead of dad. He bought her clothes! Be happy! So many parents are out there not supporting their children at all and this man is at least trying. I understand you have your issues with him. That’s not part of it though. This is his kid and your kid. Don’t pit her against him in way. Talk nicely about him in her presence. That’s her daddy! He should do the same. You’re her mama! Raise her to be better and to do better!
It’s a shirt get over it. Your daughter would love it if she could read.
Even if the dad isn’t the best that I’m sure that child will love her dad no matter what. Kids don’t see the bad in people and that’s ok, she’s just a kid. I say you are overreacting… but that’s just me.
Overreacting 
it’s just a shirt. Unless he gets her a shirt “I hate my mom”, just let the guy enjoy her wearing the shirt when she’s with her.
My kids have lots of shirts like “dad knows a lot, mom knows everything” and my husband finds them funny.
Separate your feelings from hers! Let her express her love for both of you.
It’s not about you. His relationship with his daughter has nothing to do with you. You might not get along together but that doesn’t mean that needs to then cycle onto their relationship together. You’re not together anymore for a reason. Yes there’s gonna be things you need to agree on. But have you considered that he probably
also has views regarding you as a parent too? If your child loves their father and is happy to wear the shirt and wants to support him/her and id say the same thing if she/he didn’t want to etc … support and love that’s all you can do
Wow I thought I was a super sensitive over thinker but you just might have me beat. Id say get over it. She’s 4, it’s a shirt she has a Dad, I mean so itll get messy, stained whatever. she will have it on at most half a day wash it and wear it on her when she goes back with her Dad. It’ll make you look a little less petty.
I’ve known kids who went with parents who came home filthy, dressed in the same clothes they had on when they left for the weekend and were not washed. So at least she had clean clothes on.
Wow! Yes, you’re overreacting. It doesn’t matter what kind of dad he is, kids love their parents regardless. Just be happy he’s buying her things and spending time with her. Wow
you are most definitely overreacting. 
would you think twice about putting an “I love my mom” shirt on your daughter??
I suppose it’s a little Catty to feel that way HOWEVER, he was most likely being an ass for putting it on her in the first place and I would react the same way. He must be trying to overcompensate for the fact that he isn’t a present dad and just trying to get a dig in at you. You returning it, clean and folded neatly, never letting it appear it bothered you is the way to go!
My step kids come over in shirts that say cool like my mom and I love my mom all the time. They have the same type of shirt that say cool like my dad I love my dad they wear them when they are with us. It’s not really that big of a deal. It’s her dad so having a shirt like that should not be an issue. And being honest your feelings on the matter are irrelevant when it comes to your child’s feelings.
this is pitiful. It’s literally a SHIRT. Who cares. (that’s coming from someone who has more than any reason to dislike my kids sperm donor and this wouldn’t even bother me). The anger and resentment only effects YOU doesn’t even effect him.
And I guess that’s why you’re divorced if your feelings are hurt that easily, really? Get over it, she does love her daddy.
He may have done it with intentions but how you respond has power. Let it go. It’s a shirt and he knew between you and your daughter, you were the only one that could respond. Don’t.l give in to his bait. Send her back in it and carry on.
You need therapy or someone to speak to. You haven’t healed, you need to self care, and work on you. He can be whatever he wants to be, you can’t fix that. How you respond is what you’re responsible for. Her wearing that shirt has nothing to do with you. You making it an issue, makes you human, but your daughter needs her mom. A better mom. Get well, she’s watching, you need you, and so does she. You got this, I promise.
Men don’t tend to put as much thought into these things as women do. Likely he just thought it was cute and bought it. I doubt he even gave a thought that you might be upset. Just remember the issues between the two of you are not anything with her. If he’s truly an absentee dad, you won’t have to let her know…she will eventually see that for herself. All that really matters is that she’s loved and feels it. I’m not saying your feelings don’t matter. I too had a divorce at one time with a child that wouldn’t see his dad for months or years. When he did see him, he’d get lavish gifts. It hurt my feelings knowing that I couldn’t do all that…maybe jealous even. But…in the end I never put my feelings out in front of my child. When he grew up, he figured it out on his own. You get the best part of life…raising her. Hang in there!
It’s a shirt… if it makes your kid happy to wear it , let her. It shouldn’t matter the issues you have to deal with if she likes the shirt & loves her dad , in the end it’s just a dang shirt
It could accidentally get stained with grape juice sit not get washed returned dirty … return in a shirt you won’t miss I’f you don’t wanna see dad shirt again. It is petty and not worth being upset over dad shirt but we are all entitled to emotions.
That’s not fair to her. Your daughter even if he is a shit dad it shouldn’t be up to you to make her hate her dad or blame him. If he is a shitty dad she will see it. She will be happier longer. That’s what matters.
O wow, I just can’t even with the pettiness of this post. He is her dad and obviously has something to do with her…
It’s just a t shirt. Not that big of a deal. She’s 4 and does love her dad. The more you let little things like that bother you the more you let him win . Just be the bigger person and not care.
Your putting too much into a shirt. Would you think twice about his feelings if you bought an “I love mommy” shirt? Probably not. She loves her dad obviously so I don’t see anything negative here. This shouldn’t even be an issue.
… it’s a shirt. lol. don’t upset yourself over something so minor. if it makes you feel better buy an ‘I love mom’ shirt. she loves both of you.
Get over yourself, she has two parents both in which she lives equally.
You need to focus more on your child’s feeling than your own. Of course your feelings are important but I highly doubt he is trying to compete with you or upset you. Maybe it would benefit you to seek therapy to work through your feelings. As a mother who is separated from my child’s father, feeling like it’s competition is normal, but allowing it to control you is not.
Here’s what you should do. Wash the shirt and let her wear it back to her dad’s house. I mean it just a shirt. If my kids dad got them a shirt like that, I’m gonna let them wear it till it falls apart. I may not love their dad, but they do. Let your child wear the shirt, and maybe you need to get over yourself a little.
It is a bit of an over reaction. Regardless of your feelings, its ok for her to have a shirt saying she loves her dad. Dont be that parent that makes the kid feel like they cant express themselves without the parent slamming the other. Its just a shirt. My kid gets shit from his grandparents and aunt saying my aunt is awesome or i love my grandpa and shit. Do i like those shirts? Not really, just cuz they seem silly to me, they arent fun they are weird word shirts but absolutely i put that shirt on them when they are around the family member it represents because a shirt isnt gonna ruin my day. Hes still my baby boy no matter what his silly shirt says. Lol
You’re overreacting big time almost sounds like you’re jealous of your own child what’s a big deal that it’s a shirt says I love God and be like if you got a shirt saying I love Mom
Why be upset? Don’t you dress her in what you want including I love mom clothes? Send it back next time and let it be its about the child not you or him. My girls wear clothes saying beautiful like mom and I’m sure they wear stiff about loving dad over there what do I care. My home is mine and his is his
don’t react… to many children are without a parent due to custody issues…etc… never down her father…he’s half of who she is and it’ll affect her.
Overreacting.
My daughter came home one time with a shirt that said her name, but he put his last name as her last name and she has my last name. He’s never been very involved. Denied her for the longest. And guess what! I didn’t care. 
Pick your battles. A shirt isn’t it.
Probably someone bought it for them. I wouldn’t worry. If he isn’t the greatest dad or doesn’t have a lot to do with her then as she gets older she will see and feel this and it will be hurtful for her. So try to let her enjoy her dad while she can. If you do anything to take this away from her she will resent you as she gets older.
Ok, but if you send her with a shirt that says “I love my mom” then expect the same energy from him, you wouldn’t have the right to be upset
I’m going to be really blunt here because you need to hear this
There is absolutely nothing wrong with your daughter loving her father.
You should encourage the behavior
He should encourage the reverse.
You need to parent together because we like each other enough to make a child.
Grow up and stop acting younger than your daughter.
Send her to him with an I love my mommy T-shirt next time.
Or even better, wash this one and put it on her when she goes to see him showing how mature you are.
Mom, we all react differently to situations… I’m not going to say get over yourself as I read your post from MY point of view and I can totally understand what you were trying to say, because you did mention that you would tell her what it reads and you will send her with the t shirt on, when she sees her dad again. I, also get the part of you feeling “guilt over feeling upset” because you also mention that if he was more present in her life. Personally, to me your feelings are completely validated as it’s your personal feelings and you did not go throwing a fitting rage and make her dad out to be a bad daddy to her. You, merely came to a platform to “vent”… I, also respect everyone for saying that he atleast sees his daughter and spends time with her and even bought her clothing, (isn’t that the role of a parent whether together or not) but I do get where you coming from, I have a daughter who is excelling at her academics, her dad comes and goes but wants the “bragging” rights when I was the one who stood by her through thick and thin, I never bad mouthed her dad to her, today she is old enough to know who is and always have been apart of her life and not when it was convenient for him and again easier said than done when you not in the situation yourself… Being “petty” to me would’ve been had you taken the shirt off, had you thrown it away, or even told her that her t shirt wasn’t nice instead you kept you feelings to yourself and came to vent here and not bad mouth her dad to her or even say anything to her dad.
I’m still trying to figure what exactly it is you’re mad about. Is it really a shirt that says I love dad? If it is, you need to grow up and stop being self centered. It’s not about you, it’s about your daughter.
I mean she DOES love her dad…despite things. It no big deal and just a shirt. You’re definitely overreacting. How’d you take it if someone came at you bc you’re daughter had a “I love my mom” shirt knowing she DOES love you? Lol…
It sounds like you have some feelings to unpack. Don’t project those feelings onto your daughter.
Let her wear it when she wants or when shes with her father
It’s a shirt. You admit she loves her Dad. And you can’t tell me she doesn’t have some sort of mommy tshirt. It’s just a shirt and yes, you’re over reacting.
I had an ex boyfriend’s exwife send her kid with a fuck you thunder buddy t-shirt
She was supposed to come from a respectable “Christian” family
LMAO
I sent her home with a kindness t-shirt
It’s ok to be upset and you did the right thing by venting here… Don’t let the other comments bother you!!! Saying that I will just send her back in it is huge of you!!! Cry a good cry and just know you deserve better!!!
Your daughter loves her dad. Simple as that. Your feelings about it don’t get to ruin that for her.
It’s just a shirt it’s no different than a mom putting a child in a shirt that says i love my mom etc hell be glad he bought her clothes most don’t
The fact is she does love her Dad and that’s healthy. Wash the shirt and move in. No big deal.
It may well have made you upset and you’re feeling like the father did this as some statement especially by letting your daughter home with the top on. He is petty but unfortunately you are being aswell. Now the best response to the father would be, packing the t-shirt in your child’s bag on the next visit and if you want maybe add a small note saying, I think you forgot something. Also do you supply clothes for your child when the have their visits? If yes then ask again note form for the father to dress the child in the clothes you have provided when dropping off the child. If father doesn’t supply the clothes, maybe sent a "going home outfit " so the child can wear the outfit back to yours after after visit.
hey mama’ don’t feel bad at all. you know your truth, you know the story*** we don’t. i persoanlly get it’ one of my son’s dad is the same and i think its sick’ like they get a kick out of shit like that. and i didn’t see anywhere she stated she was upset that they didn’t workout??? so why are some of ya’ll throwing that in her face?? like moms, we gotta stick together’ we know how some of these dad’s can be, and we all handle our trauma differently. some of ya’ll are missing the point on how she feels. clearly something happened for her to expreess this. gosh the way some break down the orher person is just sick.
Overreacting for sure. My daughters have left wearing shirts saying my mom is my hero and have come home saying the same of their dad, I’d encourage the relationship and leave it at that.
Is your name Lauren by chance? I swear this has to be my husband’s ex because you sound exactly like her! Get over yourself, seriously. Making a freaking mountain out of a piece of sand🤦♀️
I’m really failing to see any issue whatsoever with the shirt or the fact that he bought it and sent her home in it. I don’t think it had anything at all to do with you. I honestly think you’re just in your feelings right now. Which is understandable, we all get in our feelings sometimes. Guess that’s why we have groups like this to vent to and ask for advice. But anyway, if I were you I wouldn’t put any more thought into it. It’s not that serious, and I really doubt he meant any harm by it.
Yes you’re overreacting very much, you’d better learn that you shouldn’t expect your relationship failure to transfer to the relationship between your child and their father. You aren’t trying to win the child’s love, or win in the relationship with the ex any longer… live your life and let him enjoy the relationship with his child for fucks sake!
Personally ask much as your offended by it he is her father. The best thing to do is pretend it dnt bother you. He may have done it in spite but dnt let him know it ruffled ur feathers.
Over a shirt? Your def overreacting… its a shirt. And just bc it says she loves her dad it doesnt have any effect on your daughter and your bond. Have her make a shirt that says i love mom w her hand print and stuff. But theirs def no reason to be upset over said shirt.
Lmao
Just wait until she’s about 7 and says she hates you and wants to live with dad because you have issues and she can’t take your crap anymore.
I’m being nice saying 7, your jealous over a frigging shirt I’m sure she deals with a lot more from you, so more likely around 5
Am I overreacting to this shirt? Yes, yes you are overreacting. As for the lack of thought on his part as you say? Really? He bought his daughter a shirt, plain and simple.
You’re overreacting. Wash the clothes and put it on her the next time she goes over there.
You are over reacting!!! He bought the shirt for her and she was wearing it at his home … Just send her back in it! I mean this is beyond petty!
Ughhh irritating I know. And as far as lack of thot I’m sure that happened alot before In Your previous relationship before this shirt incedident with you kid. Big breath and brush it off babe. Definitely have her wear it back on his time so he has it tho. 
This is the pettiest thing I have ever read. Regardless of how present he is that is her dad and she loves him.
I wouldn’t be mad… he let her wear a top that says I love my dad. Its her dad… as harsh as it is you jsut gotta deal with it. How would it be if it was the other way round
Your daughter loving HER dad shouldn’t bother you. If he’s an absent parent then she will eventually see that.
BUT
You seem to have some serious issues with this, you need to look at yourself or go to therapy or something before it causes problems between you & your child.
I think your nit picking tbh. Nothing wrong with it at all.
If this upsets you, you likely need therapy. I’m trying to be kind here, but it reads like you could possibly be jealous of your daughter having a relationship with her dad. Either way, it’s very unhealthy for you both…especially since children pick up on a lot of things earlier than you’d think
Sometimes my step daughter wears a sweater that says “mommy is my bestie” because for some reason it’s at my house and it ain’t that serious
Sounds like something even a teen mom wouldn’t have a problem with UGH
Whether she can read or not it’s just a shirt let it go. Send her back in it next time. I roll my eyes to because mine is also a party time parent but I don’t let it effect me because it’s not about what I want it’s about what my son wants and needs.
Oh please get over yourself! Was it clean? Does it fit appropriately? If all answers are yes then who cares if it says proud big brother. It is not your exes job to consider your feelings before purchasing an appropriate shirt for yours and his child…grow up
If you’re letting that shit upset you, you’re going to have a difficult time until she’s grown.
You really sound selfish. Definitely Overreacting. You’re not the only parent in your child’s life. A shirt isn’t going to change your child’s view of you unless you become too controlling about the smallest unimportant things. Move on. It’s not healthy for you child. Not everything is about you.
Maybe he should get a t shirt " I love when my dad is there and doesnt buy me t shirts to make up for it" lol
You’re overreacting it’s a shirt from him to her have to remember she has feelings too she goes over there to his house with things you bought it goes both ways not one sided
No he probably wants to hurt you, so dont let it.put it on her when she goes back to him.No reaction means he doesn’t win!
Don’t let it get to you. My ex did the same and now our daughter is 22, happy and never felt she had to choose.
Definitely over reacting, it’s a shirt. Buy her a “I love my mom” one and move on
I read this as a joke and then as I got further into the paragraph, realized how ridiculously insane this is. Whether he was being spiteful or not, get the fuck over it. Why do you even care if he was trying to hurt your feelings? Even if he actually was trying to, he’s won because he got to you. Grow some tougher skin and move on 
This is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard!! Actually the dumbest . How old are you? This is very immature to be upset over a piece of clothing.
I think the reason why you’s went separate ways is because you expect more!
Grow up.
She can love both parents. Why do people get offended by a shirt? Be glad he’s alive to put it on her.
Well how else did she get her? How do u know 1 of his family members didnt get it to piss u off?
Seriously? Get over it!!! There is absolutely nothing wrong with the shirt. If this is what triggers you, when something bigger comes along you are going to snap!!! Life is complicated as is, but you are making it worse. Take a chill pill and be thankful that your ex is actually in your little girl’s life at all!
Just because the past with him don’t mean she don’t love her dad I don’t see a problem with that shirt
Someone is butt hurt like hell. Its her dad. Newsflash you may not love him anymore but She does. Keep the hate to yourself and away from their relationship
I can’t with this post. If it’s that serious you could have just changed the shirt and send it back next time. This is so juvenile🤣
I wish that my main life problem was a freaking i love my dad shirt🙄
My baby daddy does that all the time and we do not have a good co parenting relationship at all…if it really bugs you take it off and put on a new shirt 
You can be petty and send her in a shirt saying something about mommy…or be a grown up and not let little things get to you. Your choice.
Why should that be upsetting to you? She should love her Dad! And I’m sure she does unless other grownups warp her mind against him! As long as he cares for her and doesn’t abuse or neglect, what’s your problem. I’ll say what I heard Judge Judy say, you should love your child more than you hate your ex! Get over yourself!