He already moved on. You should too. File the papers. Also, secretly remove precious items he will fight you for in the divorce process, and hide them in a storage locker or your moms… and if you have a joint account, empty it asap
4 Likes
Leave right there if my husband of 14 years says he wants to go live his life fine see ya bye the constant staying out locking his phone and chatting to women girl you need to divorce him ASAP
U go start the divorce before he get u sick… value yourself nobody is gonna do it for you or find somebody too 
3 Likes
Leave him! Asap. Don’t let 14 more years go by and realize you could have left for a better life long ago!
2 Likes
Release him. Tell him if he isn’t happy, he can go get what makes him happy. Tell him how confused you are and that it’s enough. If he wants to leave, he can leave. He shouldn’t drag you down with it.
3 Likes
Go ahead and free up his future for him, do yourself a favor.
3 Likes
Leave. The rest of your life begins now. Don’t prolong misery.
He wants out but he doesn’t wanna make the first move ! You can try counseling but honestly if you can let him go do it ! Don’t let a man tell you twice he doesn’t wanna be with you !
2 Likes
Kick him out! He can’t be married to you & talk to other women, meet up with other women & disregard you. YOU matter! He needs to go!
He’s literally playing mind games with you, he wants his cake and to eat it too. He sounds like a child, and he’s never going to grow up. It’s better to leave the relationship because it sounds like he doesn’t care anymore. I’m sorry you’re going through this, you are worth so much more than what he’s treating you to be.
2 Likes
He has lost the right to making any decisions about YOUR life. It’s on you now. Continue to be his safe place, while he plays, or decide to make yourself the priority. Find your strength
2 Likes
Your his house keeper. Daycare. His safe zone,
He wants his cake and eat it to.
2 Likes
If he never worked late nights before til this all started you got your answer. Him changing all this pass codes recently and sleeping on the couch, not talking to you ect. Is clearly saying he’s talking/ seeing someone else. When you mention divorce and he comes back with your just throwing it away, he just don’t want it put on him as the divorce happened cause he’s a cheater, he still wants you there as his back up just incase whoever he’s talking to don’t want him anymore. Get out while you can.
3 Likes
No way , don’t put up with that
Let go. Love your life be happy. Only time your wasting is yours.
Leave. He wants you to end things so he doesn’t have to.
1 Like
Um …No!!! Be done with that sweetie! Life is too short and again …NO! Love yourself enough to let that shit go! There is so much life out there to be living to settle for that!!
I’d hire a PI and take him for everything he’s got! If he’s got anything!!
& I’m so sorry your going through this. Sounds like he checked out 5 months ago. You deserve better!!!
1 Like
You will survive
You are a woman
Be proud
You don’t need this shit
Put all his stuff by the curb, send him a pic and say Lawyer up buddy. Depending on your state, you can even sue her for it…
either way, leave him he ain’t worth it… You are Worth so much more!!
4 Likes
Live your life too. His actions speak volumes.
I’d suggest stop asking him what he wants all together. He clearly doesn’t know or doesn’t want you to know right know. You need to decide what you want for you.
He’s gaslighting you!!! He wants to make you feel like your not good enough or your not trying enough GO GET THOSE PAPERS BE HAPPY MY LOVE!!! You do not deserve to be treated that way
2 Likes
I walked away after a 27yr marriage because of cheating. No way I could get over and I always said that’s my do not do it thing but he still chose it. I could never trust him again so divorce is in the process. It sucks to start over but it is what it is.
2 Likes
It’s called abandonment, file, and file for spousal support and child support now
1 Like
He has to pay 50 of bills
Sounds to me like he wants to move on but not allow you to do so. That’s no way to live. Everyone deserves to be happy. I think it’s time to talk to a divorce attorney.
2 Likes
Get a good divorce lawyer, a PI, and take him to the cleaners!
Now! Don’t wait!
You need to get mad!!! Do it, and don’t look back!
1 Like
So you already know what he’s doing but for some reason you need hundreds of strangers to tell you so?
4 Likes
His cheating and his holding you ‘hostage’ by saying that ‘your throwing it away’.
He wants to keep you around till he finds something he likes.
Leave or kick him out.
4 Likes
He has moved on, perhaps you should too. Just don’t move out of your house. See an attorney about your rights.
5 Likes
Leave him and be happy and at peace.
1 Like
He gave you his answer. He wants out! Get yourself together and move on! The marriage is over.
1 Like
It is time to end it. If he hasn’t cheated he is ready to
1 Like
He’s getting his next woman lined up. Get yourself protected ASAP
It takes two to tango. It will be hard, but you should leave him. It sound like he’s just waiting for you too…sorry
Stop talking seek a lawyer!
LET HIM GO GIRL & GET ON W YOUR LIFE! he doesn’t love you any more or he wouldn’t be seeing her!!
1 Like
Hire a private detective and get the proof…then as you divorce him…you won’t get shafted.
1 Like
Id give him the divorce he wants. You already went 5 weeks of being without him
4 Likes
Sis, he’s keeping you on the back burner in case things don’t work out with this lady. I’d contact her. Does she evwn know he’s married? If so I’d drop all his stuff off in her yard. Let her have him. You are worth more than that and deserve better.
6 Likes
He is done. Don’t try to figure it out. He wants to be with other women. He has probably already cheated at the very least he checked out of the relationship. I know it will hurt but lawyer up.
3 Likes
if hes’ not cheating, what is hiding? Counseling, consult an atty (some do free consultations). gl.
You told us what he wants, how he feels, and he thinks you are throwing it all away… How do you feel? Is his behavior okay with you? Is it something you are willing to accept for the rest of your life? In my opinion, he is the one throwing it all away. So unless you are willing to continue living like this, feeling like you do, then you need to start preparing to leave.
3 Likes
If I was you I’d do whatever I could to get proof of cheating and then file for divorce…
2 Likes
He trying to get you to leave. So he won’t feel guilty if he leaves first. He trying cause you to blow up and cause a good show. So he tell everything you want to hear
2 Likes
Don’t leave your house just pack his stuff and have it setting by the door when he does finally come home but speak to a lawyer first cause sounds like not talking to u amoung the other stuff he I s hoping u will get to tried and knave and he can say u abandoned him so wise up and speak to that lawyer wish u good luck 
2 Likes
Get a private detective and take his ass to the cleaners cleaners!
marriage counselling maybe this way u can both talk freely and ask the counsellor to allow you and he to speak freely 8n places of rhe meeting with him her only stepping in with prompts when need be as some cna just take over and get u saying this that and the other. have a firm knowledge in your head what you wish to find outnir talk about etc and go from there. having the mediator may help to have that person in between to curve the curveball so to speak to ge this talking if he doesn’t wanna do this then get a best friend and partner to sit in the room at home . go to their place if they will let so neither of u at eon your own ground so have to behave a bit more as in your friend’s home. they know u well enough tk ge tu talking too and know when u need five mins to.calm the situation down. if he not sure oj divorce maybe suggest he move out to fmaily or friends for a.month or two then ge thim to come back and rediscuss how it made him feel. did he miss u. tell him he must not contact or see any other woman while he away from u in that time. and make sure u have someone h trust who could maybe keep an eye on him while he is having separate time to u. bless u not nice at all. hope u don4 have chosen in middle of all this. if u do may be an idea tk let them have sleep holiday foe say couple of weeks and do a two.week separation with hubby. put kids first always. and keep this out of their reach jntil they need tk find out whether u will separate or not if he feels he needs to separate don’t go straight for divorce unless there is violence int he marriage if their is then get u and the children to safety. if there isn’t then have a longer separation but say each Friday or every other Monday ke a night ge together in restaurant have a meal and talk. see where it goes if he suggest going to a hotel to u know what if u feel this is what u want gk with it but don’t le tit just be he gets his cake and eats it and leaves u next morning high and dry each time. this isn’t marriage its just him getting his needs filled. bless u if the night together goes well though tell him u still love him etc and say if u wanna come home and we wi tey to work theu it then again go ahead. the children if teenagers may help with this and remember don’t get them to take sides. don’t jnfluence them by saying daddy done this daddy done that. marriage where children are concerned isn’t a game. they need stability either as a family living together and or living apart. try to keep it amicable for their sake. even if u have him or u drop the children of don’t have fight awhile handing him over etc take care and sew where it goes . just don’t jump on this to quick give it a couple of months at least 4o see if u can reconcile if not then u have your life to get on with
Chances are he’s seeing this woman and keeping you on the back burner in case it doesn’t work out. Been there done that. He doesn’t want to ruin his marriage per say by moving out and filing for a divorce, because he’s not ready to walk away from you if he doesn’t know how it’ll work out with her. Essentially he isn’t ready to be lonely.
Contact the woman, see if she knows he’s married, get the proof you need. And if you can’t get it there hire someone. A private investigator will get you proof you need so you can take him to court and divorce him
3 Likes
Make your own plans for a better, healthy & happy future for you.
He’s probably wanting to record you flip out on him. He’s a MAJOR POS
Start divorce proceedings and see what he does certainly pack his suitcase
It’s over. Tell him you aren’t happy and
You going to live your life. He is no good.
Boot his ass or leave. Don’t hang around to see if a man still wants you or not. His actions speak quite clearly.
Get rid of him and move on you are better than that
1 Like
That’s what you call
Having your cake and eating it to.
Puts you on the back burner while he is out doing his thing and if it doesn’t work he’ll have you a fall back. Go get that divorce.
6 Likes
Something did happen. He contacted another female(s), even by text, for a private dinner and whatever else is on his mind—don’t let him gaslight you by saying this isn’t cheating; his intentions say it all.
Never live your life ignored, that is emotional manipulation, especially after weeks of it. I suggest counseling for YOU to sort yourself out. And a consult with a divorce attorney. If you need more info or closure, I’d think about contacting her—calmly… she might not even know about you or that he’s married.
Always know you deserve way better. 
7 Likes
Whats the use if he doesnt even consider you. This will slowly kill you
Kinda sounds like he’s throwing it away while leaving himself a security blanket
1 Like
Bullshit, he’s with her same thing here, ended up oh they fell in love!!! After 25 yrs! Baaaabyeee!!! You blow up kick him out an he can blame it all on you. Kick him out anyway!!! You’ll b better off,
He wants you to make all the decisions so he doesn’t have to take responsibility for the marriage breakdown.
3 Likes
Start dating casually. That’s what he’s doing already.
2 Likes
He is seeing other women and gaslighting you so nothing at home has to change. He’s the one “throwing it all away” by doing what he’s doing.
YOU take the first step…file for divorce and get rid of him.
1 Like
File your divorce. Most times we know what to do but are afraid to pull the trigger. Divorce him and find someone who gets excited about being with you again.
3 Likes
What are you confused about ? Kick his ass out. Find your self someone that that treats you with some respect !!
Girl go live your best life if he wants to be acting that way I would go and do the same thing he’s doing and living my best life
Ask yourself do I deserve this ABSOLUTELY NOT…It sounds like he wants it his way on his terms and screw you…I would tell him to pack his bags and head on out…Why would you continue to be with a man that one has moved out of your bedroom(First Red Flag) second want even talk to you and third says he needs to live his life…
Make copies of all your financial information. Have him served with divorce papers at work. Inform him he has 30 days to get out of your house. Don’t be nice. Start enjoying dinners out with girlfriends, make plans to attend concerts, take weekend trips, join a gym and stay out of the house as much as possible til he’s gone. If you don’t plan to keep the house, list it and let him come home to a for sale sign on the lawn.
9 Likes
I wish we could get follow up statuses on a lot of these posts. I feel so badly for them and would love to see a wonderful update
1 Like
Pack your stuff and leave. Why are you waiting for him to hurt you even more?
Trust your gut.All the signs are there that he is cheating.You deserve better…but You already know this.
1 Like
Maybe he picked up a bird watching hobby and is embarrassed to say anything because you will tease and ridicule him! Ever think of that! No you didn’t did you! Now he’s chatting with other bird watchers who understand him and he’s living vicariously through these winged creatures. Shame on you all.
3 Likes
Honey empower yourself by knowing you deserve better than this and leave. Or do the same thing! Start giggling at your phone and dressing up and make yourself feel amazing!
2 Likes
Listen to advice frim these posts and then make your decision.
Yes honey it’s time for a divorce. He threw it all away when he started talking to another woman and moved out of your bedroom.
3 Likes
He’s cheating. He’s bored after 14 years and thinks the grass is greener on the other side. Put a tracker under his car. It is completely legal. I assure you he doesn’t stay late after a 12 hour shift. That will be proof. When he goes somewhere other than work you can show up and verify. Screw these head games.
3 Likes
Throw away the whole man. He doesnt want to say yes for sure to breaking up or whatever in case the relationship with the other women dont work out. Throw it awaaaaaay
1 Like
Is it possible that you’re dead and a ghost ?
Why are you waiting for him decide what you’re going to do with your life? You teach people how to treat you and your teaching him that it’s OK to cheat on you because you’ll be there when he gets back. Cut your losses and move on!!!
5 Likes
When did we forget that actions speak louder than words
2 Likes
He’s already left the marriage, he just hasn’t moved out yet. Don’t let someone who doesn’t want you keep you in emotional purgatory.
6 Likes
Get a divorce. Youre sitting there everyday showing him this behavior is okay and that it’s fine to treat you this way.
1 Like
Get proof. Car tracker, hack messages and print off etc. Take to lawyer and file first. Get alimony for his cheating ass and go live your best life boo boo
Get proof that he’s cheating and the court will rule in your favor to keep everything when you file for divorce.
2 Likes
Wakey wakey. Be nicer to yourself
Divorce him. He’s already gone.
1 Like
Time to give him a taste of his own medicine. Pick yourself up and live your life.
But first, get all your proof!
3 Likes
Go with your gut if your gut tells you he’s cheating he’s cheating
2 Likes
This seems to be a recurring issue on this page. Stop questioning if you should tolerate disrespectful men! You deserve loyalty, fidelity, respect, integrity, and love. His indiscretions are NOT reflective of your value.
8 Likes
Do women these days have no pride???
1 Like
Divorce him you need to move on
You should divorce him immediately
Divorce his sorry self and move on. It’s his problem that “he doesn’t know what he wants”. It’s not your job to sit and wait for him while he’s “living his own life” just because your his wife. Life goes on and he can either work through whatever this is WITH you or you can decide you deserve better and stop putting up with it. Either way sitting there spinning your wheels waiting is doing you no good. You know it, he knows it, we know it… Stop letting him hurt you more beautiful. You don’t deserve this!
6 Likes
He already is gone. Go file the divorce because he isn’t even trying, he’s going to keep on cheating. Hire a private investigator, get all the proof you can and court will rule on your favor.
6 Likes
Divorce his ass!! You definitely deserve better!
Sounds like the love is gone . .
A person will do to you what you allow… He won’t speak or communicate???but does not want a divorce… he does not know what he want ??? But don’t throw it all away… moved out the room…but don’t throw it all away…is that not what he is doing??? You don’t treat people any kind of way and expect them to be your biggest fan …speak life love and happiness over you …it’s time to focus on you and decide what you want …he a grown he know exactly what he doing and why he doing it…you got this
Are kids involved? If so definitely get him out!!! kids are learning this behavior is ok… and being disrespected is ok… either way love yourself girl move on… get separation papers live your life right under his nose!!! Haha good luck
1 Like
Divorce him you deserve better then that.