Calendar holidays are disingenuous…I have made it abundantly clear I dont want anyone to buy me something bc the calendar told them to…if my family wants to do something for me or buy something for me, I want it to be bc they saw something I’d like or they wanted to do something nice for me, without obligation…hallmark holidays are ridiculous, stop letting it affect you mental well being
Men don’t care for that ‘SHIT’…get your own and thank them for it 
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I’m sorry. I sympathize with you and I’m sure you are a great mother and wife. Get your husband a clue for Father’s Day. Maybe he will know how it feels? 
They do it because you let them. Stop buying birthday gifts and planning for them if they do not reciprocate. You are raising boys who will undervalue their wives and its up to you to stop the cycle. S few gift less birthdays should teach a valuable lesson.
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You have every right. I know the feeling. No holidays here😢
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Unfortunately it sounds like what your husband doesn’t do is rubbing off on your boys☹
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You’re not over reacting. Communication is #1
Taking kids to the store n having them pick something out for mom is not too much to ask for and you SHOULDN’T be pointing this out to begin with.
No one asks if you will have dinner ready by 5, their clothes washed and house cleaned. No one realizes that being a stay at home mom is actually HARD.
Being a full time mom is harder than working full time. I’ve done both and all together.
Mom never takes breaks and being at home can be depressing.
Gifts are a way of being appreciative. Even if its a small gift.
Your husband is hard working and provides just like my husband. However Special occasions shouldn’t be ignored.
Was he this way when you 1st got together? Because if he was, you kind of knew what you was getting into. No? At the same time the kids should be taught that other people matter too or they’ll grow up walking in ur husbands shoes and their future gfs will be miserable. Its actually COLD to not do a thing for someone on their special day especially if the person in question is your partner.
It’s quite late to teach him how to treat you. But them kids should make a home card for you because u r MOM!
I would feel all sorts of ways too. One thing this would make me do is look for a job whether work from home or outside the home if possible. U can’t just be the glue, love. When they don’t appreciate you they can see you less or begin appreciating the woman in their life.
Speak to your husband. Explaining this isn’t complaining nor is this toxic topic. What’s toxic is the feelings they cause for you.
Here in my home…my boys Draw their own cards or one huge card for me. That is enough for me. It’s the thought that counts.
If your man don’t starr caring about ur feelings, I see a slippery slope ahead…
Hugs. I know how you feel
If you are making them feel bad, or feeling bad about yourself bc a company is telling you that you/they should and itnis out of guilt, it doesnt mean anything anyways, it is just marketing
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SPEAK UP…your children are watching how to adult 
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Go buy you flowers! Better yet plant them! Dont rely on someone to make you happy! Find your worth!
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I am shocked by the number of women buying into this shit. Honestly
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This is probably going to sound very petty, but the year that my son was 16, at Christmas, he bought me a $5 adult coloring book. I knew that he had $500 that he had saved up. He had no bills at that time, lived with me and I provided food, housing, transportation, etc. I had a hard hard time buying Christmas for him all thru the years (his dad provided nothing) and this particular Christmas I had made an extra effort because of his age (the things he was interested in was all pretty expensive). Anyway, upon opening my one gift and discovering the coloring book, I was extremely hurt. I mean really really hurt. But to this day I am still ashamed of my reaction… I asked him; “what am I supposed to do with this? You didn’t even buy crayons for me to color this stupid thing with.” I went on to tell him I couldn’t believe that’s all he thought of me and so on and so forth. I really threw a tantrum. It embarrasses me now to share this but at the time, I was so hurt I simply could not hold it in. Well, every holiday since, not just christmas, but every holiday, my son has acknowledged me in some way or another (not always a gift) that made me feel loved and appreciated. So maybe, when loved ones take us for granted, we’re entitled to a tantrum now and then. Lol
Very sad he should be ashamed but men never feel anything
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Mothers are very very very special and he should recognize that if not you need to jar his memory a little bit and tell him how you feel maybe he’s just one of those people that came from a home that didn’t exchange gifts and he doesn’t understand. But a moms deserve all the apprention they get
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Do. Not. Take. Your. Boys. Shopping. For. Father’s. Day! Do not even remind them!!! SMH
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I told my kids dad id be happy with a pack of 
n a coffee…maybe 10 bucks n that was askin too much.altho he lives in my apartment n I buy all food n household items n raise our 3 kids. I woulda bought my own if I hadnt gave my kids the last of my $$. I’m sorry. I know it sucks. I always make sure he gets a gift for his bday,fathers day,christmas
Well, at least he does give you a gift when you mentioned an occassion is coming up. On the other hand… I NEVER receive anything from my husband not even his salary (i have work and never as in never he handed me anything nor share on household expenses aside from water bill only, i was the one who pays all even kids school fees) but he really is generous to his mistress… what a life isnt it? Well, im done and good, who needs a man like that 
What a cry baby get over it. I have 3 children and I only heard from one of mine I haven’t gotten nothing for Mother’s Day since they were little. It is just another day for me. JS
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Next time you feel unappreciated tell him in advance that you going away even for a weekend .Go away and just do all those things you love to do . Treat yourself . You deserve it. Let them feel what it would be like without you. You need to Show people how to treat you. Treat yourself sometime .
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He should be a shame of himself . Don’t buy him shit. Your children should be more mindful. Don’t they have birthdays as well
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Nothing wrong with wanting to feel appreciated
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My ex husband doesn’t even like me and he ALWAYS makes sure I’m good on special days, so you have every right to feel some type of way. Some people think being a stay at home mom is doing nothing, but let them try it for a bit 
Yes! Go to the jewelry store and get a diamond anything. And then do that every year!!
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It’s the same here! I got my own gifts this year.
You have every right to feel the way you do. Speak to your family about how you feel. Tell them it’s not so much a material thing, but an acknowledgment on Mother’s Day, whether it’s in the form of them making a meal for you or a simple hug and a Happy Mother’s day.
Hugs 
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Absolutely communicate. I feel you shouldn’t have to ask for something especially for Mother’s Day. ESPECIALLY if you go out of your way to make his Holidays feel special. But if he was never the type to celebrate Holidays and you’ve accepted that over the years maybe he just assumed it wouldn’t bother you this year? You need to address this if you are feeling upset about it because that makes it a big deal.
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A gift doesn’t mean appreciation. The fact that your family is happy and healthy should be enough. Please don’t feel like our kids owe us. WE chose to bring them life. Stop sounding so materialistic and learn to be grateful for the REAL things in life.
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On Mother’s Day or your birthday from here on out, treat yourself. Go out to lunch/dinner alone! Don’t feel guilty. Just simply tell your husband that you need to feel like these days are your special days and if he cannot help with that then you will do it yourself. You deserve it.
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Ok…I can completely understand. You need ro take time for yourself. Schedule a spa day for you.
You did say he works alot to provide for your fsmily…he may not have the time to go to the store.
If it makes you feel any better…my almost 18 yo who works and is going to school didn’t do anything but say happy mothers day. My boyfriend treated me like a queen (which he didn’t have to at all) and said I deserved it, that I’m a good mom.
I have the same asshole as you 
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Theres a lot of bitter women in here. Nothings wrong with wanting to be shown a little appreciation. How hard is it for a husband to help the kids draw a picture for mom? Or clean a room? Make a special meal? … doesnt have to be all out fancy to show the mother of your kids appreciation.
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Yea that’s messed up
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I have my birthday, mother’s day and anniversary in May. They pick which one I get a gift for … I think lol
My husband and kids missed my birthday one year and I was devastated
You are not over reacting. Did you ever say anything to him. If he ignores what you say I would stop getting him anything.
Just buy yourself something nice big box of chocolates as well don’t share them xx
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You have every right to be upset,we all want to be appreciated.
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My late husband bought me unexpected, extravagant gifts all the time and always charged them. My new husband does his best, but I would rather pick out exactly what I want rather than have to return it. Case in point: one Christmas, he bought me a big, beautiful ring. He idin’t notice it was a new wedding/ engagement set. We returned it and I taught him what I like. My late husband gave me a dozen roses every week. It made me feel loved and happy. My new husband brings me flowers noe after telling him the 10$ set of a dozen roses makes me happy. Just fon’t have them delivered. Astronomical fee!. Men need to be taught how you expect him and the four kids to do for you on holiday present giving. I have written my own letter to Santa, said flat out what I want, and it really works well. Try my suggestion. He may really rise to the occasion.
I get it, it’s not about materialism. Even a handmade card with crayons would be something. It’s not materialistic to want a modicum of appreciation from the people in your life. Some of the best gifts I’ve ever received from my husband were simple things because we were broke at the time. But he still thought of me. And that’s where it’s at. Its being thought of, being valued. For those are saying is materialistic to want to be recognized on Mother’s Day, don’t mind them. In my opinion sometimes it’s easy to take for granted somebody or something that is always there. Maybe be less “there”. Go rent a hotel room for one night just for yourself. Leave them a note telling them that you’re fine and will be back the next day. Watch whatever you want to watch, go to the spa, the fitness room or whatever the hotel has to offer. Let them deal with two days and a night without you doing all the things that you do. If after that they still don’t appreciate you, I don’t know much else you could do
Boycott them for the year. No cards, no gifts. It is an important lesson for them to learn. And take yourself to a spa day.
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So when Father’s Day comes I would just act like it’s any other day. Don’t go out of your way to get him something when he can’t even get you a little card
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No ur not overreacting. You sound like an amazing wife.
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I really hate the idea that he is teaching the boys to be the same way!! If you want your husband to listen… Tell him how you felt.
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it’s not about the amount of gifts you receive, I was blessed to receive a hand made card and a plant. My children spent the day looking after me as I’ve just come out of surgery. I find that more important value than anything else.
I live with one like this as well. I know it hurts your heart and soul. I try to just do something nice for myself
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You have every right to feel how you’re feeling. Since you have been vocal about the lack of appreciation your feeling with no result…just stop. Simply do the basics that you should do, but stop doing the extra things that make him feel special. No birthdays, holidays, nothing and he will definitely take notice. Next, treat yourself. It’s perfectly ok to make yourself feel special and do the things he doesn’t.
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Take your husbands debit card and give yourself a spa day with nobody else around or maybe a close girlfriend of yours. Pamper yourself hun.
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IMO, there’s NO excuse, NONE!
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I would be guttered too
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When you started your own family, it means you can set your own traditions and rules. I came from a very toxic and dysfunctional family so when i had my own i always talk to my husband of all the things i wished i want in ours and one of them is celebrating and acknowledging every occassions and events even in simple ways because i see it as a way to keep each other connected and bonded. it is your own family so have a right to make what you want and teaching your husband and son to have appreciation not just for you but for all of you is a must.
Girl I think we have the same husband. 
men have such a one track mind tho its like the need step by step instructions on what to do
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Stop Buying For Him & Stop Doing Things… Glad He Is A Provider But Dang Girl… You Need Something… Flowers, A Spa Day. Something…
You have every right to have your feelings. I understand completely. Hugs and love
Just take yourself out or get something for yourself.
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You are not over reacting and if you have to point it out to them there is something seriously wrong.
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You are not over reacting. Its strange that we as mothers, try our best and it does hurt when no one seems to notice. Am sorry but I feel your pain cos same here for me.
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Had one like that guess what he is not teaching his family appreciation of you I feel bad for you well next time it’s a birthday holiday etc go buy yourself something you deserve it
Men can’t think they have to be told give him three hints three days ahead
You have ever right !! My bf gives gifts a “just because” he saw it and thought of me. There is no excuse for special events !! He should buy you things ever now and again… Have a talk with him let him know how this makes you feel. If he makes a effort then great I’m happy for you if he doesn’t then that’s a different choice. Can you deal with him not being considered of you ? Good luck !
Stop getting him things. I know it seems petty but let’s see how he likes it. If my husband and kids didn’t do anything for me I’d stop doing things for them so they can see how it feels 
Take some time off, like for a wk. Let them see ur value.
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You are showing your kid’s and husband that it’s ok to treat you like that. The kid’s you can teach them to know better, the husband needs you to spell it out. DON’T MAKE THEM COMFORTABLE DISRESPECTING YOU LIKE THAT. IT’S AN UGLY LONELY WAY TO LIVE. FIX IT, AND STOP BEING A DOORMAT, NOBODY CAN READ MINDS.
Communication is key to a relationship, just tell him how you feel exactly what you said in your post.
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Know your man. If he doesn’t realized it’s a holiday until you mention it. It has been this way for 14 years. Don’t get hurt now. Mention all holidays. He is not a mind reader and most likely doesn’t own a calendar
Learn each other’s love language 
This is so very important to know your partners so you give them what their heart needs
Your love language might be time spent with your hubby and a gift, but he could think because he works so hard that is like his gift to you and the family daily. Yes, I know it sounds crazy, but the best advice I have been given is to learn what your partner’s love language is
Most times we give or do what we think our partners wants, when in reality we are doing what we would want done for us.
I hope this makes sense!
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Wanting recognition on Mothers Day, especially as a stay at home Mother of 4 who doesn’t get to “clock out” is extremely understandable! You are NOT asking for too much and, in fact, it sounds like you’ve been accepting too little and doing too much for long enough to become unappreciated. We teach people how to treat us. Yes, he financially supports the household, but YOU make that household run! You care for and nurture his children, literally teaching them life skills, morals, and giving them the tools and experiences they’ll use and remember their entire lives. And you do it without a break. I was a single working parent of 3 children(all grown now)and I know the value you bring. One day I hope you realize just how immeasurably valuable you are!!
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Mothers day is a scam
Everyday of the year should mothers day and fathers day
But expecting a gift is kinda stupid
The biggest gift is that you have your kids and husband with you
Some people dont have that luxury
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Really sorry about that. But it’s ok to let him know you want something special. Remember that those type of men are not mind readers. Don’t matter how many years yall been together he won’t automatically do that you have to ask. And if you don’t like it, address it. Tell him that little gifts is your love language. When I first met my husband I was up front and said I like gifts. It don’t have to be expensive. Heck, it could be hand made. But the thought counts and it’s really important to me. And ever since then, he’ll remember special occasions and get me a gift or take me out.
I have 3 kids, 2 step kids and 5 grands and I didn’t even get a happy Mother’s Day wish.
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I always say to match their energy.
You deserve to be appreciated. Maybe it may not always need to be material things but you deserve nice things done for you. Problem is you let this go on for 14 years??? Have you ever said “hey I’d like it if you’d think of me on these days?” “I feel ignored when you don’t do anything special on these days”? Did it go on deaf ears? Does he know. If you’ve never spoken up its part of the problem. If you have and it’s ignored it has become a problem. A woman will treat a man the way she wants to be treated. When that doesn’t work she will ask the man to treat her the way she wants to be treated. Then she’ll demand. Then she’ll just start treating him the way he treats her. What stage are you at? I’d go on strike if I were you. They can make themselves pb&j sandwiches and clean up after themselves. When they see how much of their lives revolve around you they may become more appreciative. You have to say something though.
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My sons mother and I aren’t together, but I make sure we go get her things for Mother’s Day (son is seven) Or even make things for her. I think it’s important for fathers to show their kids that making their mother feel loved is something important. I want my son to grow up and appreciate his mother and future mother of his kids if he goes that route. Talk to your husband and let him know how you feel.
Communicate. Remember this: You teach people how to treat you. So communicate your feelings.
I’m sorry you’re hurt. This was wrong…he should make attempt to appreciate you
Take some time off from them. Maybe spend a week at your parents and will see how it turns out for the boys 
You have the right to feel as you do
I would love someone to care for like that
Go take yourself mother’s day shopping!! And then show him what he bought you.
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The first Mother’s Day after I was engaged I bought my Mother-in-law a present. For me it was normal, as I had always done this for my Mother. She cried and said it was the first present/card she had ever received. I was stunned. I had always bought for my Mother and had never thought twice about buying for my future mother-in-law. I could write an essay on this, but suffice to say, this was a son who had never cut the umbilical cord, yet never felt the need to show his appreciation at Christmas, Birthdays or Mother’s Day. He carried this attitude over into out Marriage. All for him and nothing for anyone else.
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I just get myself something then tell them thank you and tell them what they got me
Treat yourself and stop giving so much!
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Hunni… get his debit card and go get yourself something nice. I rather than anyway, bc you pick your own gift and it will prob cost more.
Or at least that’s what I do…
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I agree with you…on the flip side maybe he just didn’t learn that growing up
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If you have been with him 14 years and have 4 kids together you obviously think he’s a good guy and he is obviously not a date keeper. Buy yourself something nice and don’t get caught up in the hype. Teach your kids to help more and relax and enjoy being a mom every day.
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Married 20 years. Husband went out of his way once to get me a gift. And i am ok with that. He worked our money is joint. He always said if i want something just go buy it.
Shit u better then me bc i would have been out for mothers days … Left tht house at 12am leaving notes on pillow bathroom mirror fridge n front door since yall dont appreciate shit im taking my day off see yall tomrw and would turn my phone off … Take ur own damn day … Shit but after 14 yrs u settle for being treated tht way so thats what u going to get
That was how my ex was. He made excuses up why he didn’t. I like the people that go on about saying communication is key. These are the folks you can talk blue until your blue in the face. Communication doesn’t work for them. Clearly she has said something about to him a number of times. So the talks don’t work. Over all, things won’t change at all.
Nope you are not. Stop cooking for a week and doing your “womanly duties” and see how that lasts.
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No u are not over reacting
U are entitled to your feelings
People have different love languages and u sound as tho yours is recieving gifts, there is nothing wrong with that & there is nothing wrong with wanting to be loved in your love language. The best advice I can give u is to have a sit down with hubby & communicate how u feel & what u need from him, some men truly are clueless depending on the age of your children u can always express how unappreciated u felt.
If that fails maybe just stop doing all that u do for them so they can see how much u do. Best of luck to u.
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Stop buying him things. Match his energy.
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I know a mother like that Bs
After 14 years of marriage, he should know by now that you like thoughtful acknowledgments on special occasions and you absolutely deserve that. How you choose to resolve that issue is entirely up to you, however, you really need to address it and find some resolve in moving forward or you’ll grow resentment, because he should definitely show you more care in that area.
Welcome to my world. I get nothing for easter, xmas, birthday, mothers day or any other special day. I’ve been with my husband for 22 yrs. I use to take him to the shop with the kids and tell him to let them pick stuff out for me but it ended up too hard for him with 3 kids so I stopped doing it once the kids got to school. If your hubby won’t take your kids shopping ask a friend or family member take your kids shopping to buy you presents. Hubby may feel guilty for other people taking his kids shopping to buy you stuff. My kids schools had mothers and fathers day stalls so kids can buy stuff. At least I got mothers day presents while they were in primary school. Once my youngest was about 8 I took all 3 kids to a local chemist that know us and I would look at the sales tables and tell the kids to pick something each from a certain table and then I would turn my back so they could pick and then pay themselves. Once the staff realized what we were doing they came over and helped the kids. The staff even gift wrapped the presents for the kids every time we went in and the kids picked presents. As for hubby well he no longer gets any presents or participates in any special days. It’s just me and the kids. He is especially bad xmas day. We have our own xmas grinch. He won’t get out of bed until lunchtime now. When the kids were younger he would at least get up by 8 to watch kids open presents. His whole excuse is those special days mean nothing to him it’s just another day. He hates getting or giving presents. He is horrible for dates to the extent he forgot my birthday 2 yrs in a row. I reminded him days later the first yr only cause I found something I wanted that I knew he didn’t think I needed it. So I rang him to tell him I was getting it and got the whole “you don’t need it” speech so I said " well I’m getting it for my birthday which was 3 days ago." and hung up. The second yr a cousin was talking to us and mentioned my birthday and hubby said oh yeah its coming up. The cousin said " no she already had it a week ago" I buy my own presents. I wait til a special day is coming up and then buy stuff hubby thinks I don’t need and when he says anything I tell him it’s my present to myself for whichever day is coming up. I bought a mulitcooker for valentines days this yr. It works great now I still get presents but I get what I really want. Now my kids are teens they go buy me presents by themselves. If your hubby won’t buy you stuff at least teach your kids to still give you gifts for special days or they may end up like hubby thinking presents aren’t important.
Tbh i havent gotten anything nice after going in debt 10 thousand taking care of my wife and our family feeding and raising 2 children that arent mine but well loved after 11 years… but because im a man its not expected… Seeing all these take his card and treat yourself crap is straight garbage… But nevertheless everyone should be treated equally so go get a job split childcare with your husband and treat yourself
Man I’m so over mothers day, I feel you girl. I’m done TRYING to celebrate it. I’m gonna take myself out, and treat my self 
That’s sad. But if he’s never bought you gifts, he’s not going start now. You just have to accept it.
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Yes, you have every right to be upset.
No need to spend much, a card, even a homemade one, a single flour and a sipmple breakfast is not to much to ask for
This breaks my heart! We as mothers do so much and sacrifice so much and everyone just expects us to keep doing it. I have felt the way you’re feeling. You are not overreacting. Everyone wants to feel special and appreciated. Everyone.
He has a phone. Put your birthday, mothers day and anniversary in it with memo reminders 3 days before the date. If that doesn’t work stop buying him stuff.
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I know exactly what you mean. It would be nice to be appreciated and feel like you are special and loved once in a while. It’s not that difficult to show some respect for everything you do.
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