I didn't get anything for Mother's Day - Just needing to vent

Not sure where you live but dont your kids make you stuff at school? And if he is a steady provider and works hard enough that you can afford to be a stay at home mom is the lack of receiving a gift that important? It’s probably frustrating because you go and make that effort but not everyone will respond the same as you or do the same as you. Maybe he just doesn’t see the need to buy a gift for occasions innit bothers you to the point your asking the internet for advice or to vent talk to him about it rather than a bunch of strangers.

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As you have always told him of special occasions coming up , then he doesn’t have to remember as you do it for him .
When fathers day arrives, he may just remember that he missed mothers day but I doubt it . You are his diary so he has no need to remember anything .your children will be the same as your husband if you keep reminding them too. Xx

Take that card and go shopping and get yourself a spa treatment as well.

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I feel like you’re being unreasonable. Gifts don’t show appreciation. If he works hard and cares for your family and treats you well, you’re far ahead of many other households. Be happy you have a good man because he’ll be there when the gifts aren’t.

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I think you should talk to him! Just let him know that it would be nice to feel appreciated and to feel special once in a while.

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Communication is key… he’s not a mind reader…been there done that LoL

Might be a good idea to talk with your husband about what your love language is, especially since yours includes giving and receiving gifts!

I didnt either dont care focus on you.

You are a stay at home mom. You keep the house clean, and dinners cooked. Seems to me he provides you the house, food, money to pay the bills, most likely a vehicle to get around. Seems to me he shows you appreciation every day, you just fail to recognize it. Now with that being said, I know it would be nice to get the occasional gift or recognition on special days or occasions, but are they really that important in the grand scheme of things.

Skip father’s day and see what he says

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Answer: stop celebrating holidays and birthdays! That how I got through to my ex…now he is gift giving and I still don’t

The root doesn’t get the sunshine, but it provides the water.

Naaawww u have every right to feel unappreciated!

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From past experience leave him !

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i just take the kids to shops to pick me out something, or when in primary school they have mothers day stalls

Don’t take the kids to the store, don’t make a big deal out of the day and if he says anything just say, I assumed Father’s Day should be treated the same way Mother’s Day was, non existent

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I haven’t gotten anything for Mother’s Day except once out of the last 9 mother’s days. It just is what it is, and you have a right to feel bitter, but you have no right to expect anything

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Have a right to feel this way. My suggestion is do not and I mean do not acknowledge Father’s Day what’s so ever skip over it and see if he responds. If so tell him why. :wink::wink::wink:

U have happy healthy kids? A husband that comes home every night, and provides for you?? That’s the gift right there.

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All these special days, mothers / fathers day, valentines day, easter, christmas etc etc are only there for one reason. Commercialism.

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You have every right! Shame on them :persevere:

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Get out now! Don’t be like me and waste your life. Caring for someone that doesn’t care about you. With him for 35 years with 3 sons. Without any recognition or appreciation. Plus he set the standard so sons dont care either. Too late for me. You deserve to feel loved and appreciated. Life is too short. Don’t waste your time.

He will never change they get worse the longer you stay lots get abusive and hurt you

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What helped with my ex was making a list (on Amazon) on gifts I’d like and send it to him before the holiday. Told him to pick something off the list.

Your love language is gifting, his is not. Get the love languages book! It’s interesting!!

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Of course you deserve Respect & Appreciation :100::100::100::kissing_heart:xxx

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Have you mentioned to him his lack of making you feel appreciated. Sometimes men just don’t get it.
. My husband and I just tell each other what to get for all the holidays. Neither of us want just because gifts I want stuff I need or can use he’s the same. We are the same with our gift choices for our kids as well. I am sorry he hasn’t gotten you anything maybe suggest what you need or want…

You have every right to feel that way. Please talk to him and tell him how you feel. Do the boys see you giving gifts to your mother and mother in law for such occasions?

Different love language… if receiving gifts is yours then tell him if you don’t buy me things I don’t feel appreciated… but if he’s the only income earner in the house then I guess he’s supplying a lot of stuff, accommodation food power water obviously internet connection clothing car and all its running costs… I guess for some everything is not enough they just want more more more!!!

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Consider him providing for your family enough to be able to be a stay at home mom being your mothers day present.

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Go buy something yourself & thank him for it.

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Overacting no way surely you’d think that this special day is an should be your day I understand how your feeling but their men they just don’t get it

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His thoughts and actions aren’t going to always match yours. You have to tell him what you need, not just be upset when your expectations of the unspoken aren’t met. Some guys do that stuff naturally, some don’t. Yours doesn’t. So he needs a little reminder that you want/need this or that token of appreciation, whatever tangible thing or action that might be. Yes, it sucks to have to ask. But if you dont ask, you’ll never receive, right?

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I know when I was married I didn’t get much or anything he was to busy cheating with other women. My beautiful daughter alway gives me a beautiful gifts, so I thank her for appreciate her mom❤️

Unfortunately dad is teaching the kids how they will treat their wives/spouses in the future and how important their roles are valued. During my divorce I was told something from a friend that resonates…she told me I didn’t know my worth …and that nothing good in life for me would happen if I didn’t establish that basic knowledge of knowing my worth…get your worth back momma! Know it!

Tell him how you feel.

Buy your own gifts…maybe he hates shopping for gifts. My husband will buy me stuff when it catches his eye but to shop? Not happening. I have the cards I buy every thing I want and sign his name. No biggy

Give notice…Take the whole day off, go out with your girlfriends, enjoy your day.

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Talk to him about it. Obviously it is bothering you. You deserve something!. A mother and wife is the hardest job there is. Pamper yourself!. Have a spa day just for you

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Its not about a gift, it’s about feeling appreciated. If your kids and hubby showed you some appreciation. Making you lunch, breakfast etc. I’d be having a chat with my family. Talking to them about appreciation etc. Tell them it’s not a gift that’s important but a gesture to say how they feel.

If you have good communication then you need to talk to him and tell him how you feel, how old are your boys, they will be learning from their father, and maybe you need to talk to your boys and tell them to talk to dad. even if the boys are too young to go shopping they need to be told that you don’t have to buy a gift to show you love someone , have them draw a picture, so some work , help make you a cake, they need to learn so they don’t become like dad

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Your feelings are valid…no matter what…talk to him…

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Me and my ex husband both worked. I was a waitress and he had a decent job, do his checks went to the bills and we lived on my tips. I would leave out how much money what I wanted was with a nore telling him what to get me. That way no hurt feelings no disappointment etc. It worked for us

I’m the mother of one daughter and 2 granddaughters. My birthday fell on Mother’s Day this year and my gift didn’t come wrapped up with a pretty bow, it came from God. My daughter was in a accident (fell down her stairs) two months ago receiving traumatic brain injuries. She is far from being herself and a long hard road of healing awaits her. Although her vocabulary consists of 4 words that only she understands the meaning of. My gift was hearing her say …I love you! Cherish what’s real, cherish what touches your heart. I almost lost my daughter and nothing bought in a store could give me the happiness I received hearing her say she loves me.

Sometimes a woman has to take the "upper hand " Make reservations or buy a gift and give HIM THE BILL! Last resort, tell your husband you want a card and gift for whatever holiday is important to you. Go with him. if need be.

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I wouldnt take these things too personal. Gifting to other is a type of love language and everyone has a different one. You just have to see how your husband and kids show their love to you. For example, my best friends kid loves to give hugs and say I love you. But he isnt the gifting type. He gave jumped on his mom giving her a hug and said he loved her as he said happy mothers day. His type of love language is physical and verbal, just the same as me. My best friend, his mom, is a gifter. She buys things all the time for her husband, her kids, and me. But she hardly shows love in a physical or verbal way. Just because your love language is gifting doesnt mean you should expect the same back. I do think it’s a bit of an exaggeration. Especially since your kids side and husbands isnt shown. I see a lot of talk to him and treat him the same. That’s a bunch of bs. You obviously married him for a reason. He shows his love to you somehow

I would go get my hair done. My nails done. Have a massage. Get a new outfit put on some make up and hand them the bill. Tell them thank you as your walking out the door to go celebrate you. :100::dart::heart::rose::heart::dart::100:. You definitely deserve it. Reminders are good.

Easy fix… stop making things special for him and see if he notices.

And yeah ok yall have different “love languages” :roll_eyes: whatever lol look flat out tell him when he doesn’t remember things like this and do the cute gift thing… it hurts, you feel unappreciated especially when you try to make him feel special by doing those things for him like you give and he takes and doesn’t reciprocate. Odds are his love language is providing. Who knows. They come up with so many different ummm fads for so called reasons to explain things. Men are from Mars women are from Venus and all that. But if you keep doing and not feeling the same appreciation in Return I know it would make me eventually say screw it and stop doing things I do bc why bother if you’re not getting the same respect. It’s not just about a love language or any of that… its respect and appreciation and it sounds to me… you’re not getting either lately

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Some men have simply not been taught how to show love & appreciation freely. It’s not their fault but don’t raise your children the same way as u know how it makes u feel. :frowning: When mothers day, birthdays etc are approaching speak freely about it in the house & if they don’t yet have their own money give them some & teach them to buy something no matter how small. <3 You & their future wives will be eternally grateful. :slight_smile:

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She did say he never gives gifts. Is hea hard worker, does he beat you are your children?
Instead of gifts for him…save all money. Mark calenders and take a weekend getaway… just you and him…nooney or nothing in between.
Now that’s gifts you both will enjoy!

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You are definitely not asking too much. I’m sorry

Some men are just not romantic…mine is not.im in the same boat like u an it hurts coz we also want nice things sometimes y must we first fight about it.bt when its their turn we make it special

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My husband don’t get me anything most of the time. I buy the things I like using his money and its never a problem to him. Maybe men have different ways to show their love. I just get used to it. What I like about him is he takes me out for dinner or cooks food for me during special occasions :blush::blush::blush:.

Is this the first year you didn’t get something or is always the case?

sounds like homegirl need a new mans :relieved::relieved::relieved:

After 14 years he knows then say let me see your credit card go to lunch and buy something you have been wanting get home kiss him say thank you and move on with life

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time for a new man

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I honestly feel you are a little of both…justified and overreacting…yes you do have the right to feel hurt but also if you already know that your husbands pattern is forgetting unless you say something then you should have said something and depending on the age of your boys, maybe you should have given them some money and taken them to the store to pick something out for you…not all but a lot of men don’t think of things like that…sentimental things…and children really don’t understand the significance depending on age.

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It’s upsetting to be forgotten.i never had a anniversary with two marriage s my self.i just got use to it my kids always made sure I got to sleep in a little latter and they did try to make breakfast a couple times.i have every hand made mother’s day card and birthday card they made me .so was very honored to have that . If they did one little thing to help me have a good day that’s all I needed .

I would go out and do what you want to do and let him see how it feels

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Girl please, You better find your voice!! …I would have been around there neglecting all they asses. They would definitely think “Moma done snapped” I know I just couldn’t go all these years without being heard or undervalued. And unfortunately her boys been watching this behavior and will someday eventually be a disappointment to some women when it comes to appreciation :woman_shrugging:t5:. Also, my comment is not about materialistic things more so about appreciation and doing so w/out gifts, etc. Because from the sound of this letter the neglect doesn’t stop on Mothers day.
…I said what I said !

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I’d do to them what they all did to you on mother’s day

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I have never really cared about gifts but if I did I’d go buy myself something nice or do something for myself for every holiday. Cut out the middle man. Plus you know you’ll like your “gift”. I’m sure y’all have had the conversation before especially over 14 years and he knows when major holidays are. Treat yourself

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Truth: if you feel neglected or unappreciated by your partner, 99.999% of the time they feel the same way. If you start doing things for him to make him feel special, more than likely he will reciprocate.

I know you said you already get him gifts for Father’s Day etc but clearly this is something that makes you feel special, not him. Someone else mentioned love languages. Gift-giving obviously isn’t his, so it’s not going to register too much with him. Find out what his is and start doing those things.

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Can he afford it? It’s pretty expensive to provide sole financial support. And i know you likely don’t see this… but being able to stay at home and raise your kids and know you have food and shelter is way more valuable than a card and a bunch of flowers. Most have to hand their kids off to daycare or a relative and go out and work. Not missing half your kids young life is priceless

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Use his card book yourself a spa or hair appointment or get your nails done or something, buy a new outfit and phone a friend to go have lunch with or something, TELL your husband he is staying home with the kids to parent them while you celebrate a belated mothers day don’t give any option just go out and enjoy yourself and if he is tired from work etc tough I’m sure you have been tired many many times when he hasn’t helped with the kids etc so take a break and no it is not selfish or anything else to expect respect, if gifts arent affordable running bath for you, cleaning the house , and other chores and saying they love you or making hand made cards are all free as are a nice family walk and lovely words. Zero excuse covers making you feel unloved on such a special day I’m sorry that happened to you x

I kinda feel like you raised them that way and allowed this in your house…cleaning it up is a whole nuther mess…either start all holidays…or stop them…no mothers day? = no fathers day no birthdays no Christmas…you allowed bad behavior…let them all know how you feel when they have to fend for themselves on mothers day…take a weekend off…go enjoy…no allowances for that week…after all…theyre paying for it!

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I would forget about Father’s Day!!!

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tell ur fam/husband how u feel and don’t assume nothing that’s how ur feelings get hurt i learned this but communication is needed.

Nope not over reacting…every woman (especially those raising kids) deserves to feel loved and appreciated. Even a simple card or some flowers can go a long way. I am lucky in that my husband is an amazing gift buyer and always makes sure I am spoiled on holidays, my birthday, Mother’s Day etc. I’ve been married 20 years…in my opinion you NEED to tell him how you feel and how it hurts you when he doesn’t even try…

Is this stuff real, or is it made up? Seems every time I see this site it’s a story like this?

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I didn’t get anything material but got greetings from my kids. I’m satisfied with that. Motherhood is not being recognized for what you do for your kids. It’s seeing them grow into decent, respectful and kind human beings. That’s more than enough for me.

One’s presence is greater than presents.

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Buy yourself a spa day package with the kitchen fund. Let them know you appreciate yourself. Ask the family to take care of this in the future. Your boys need to know how to treat a wife in the future.

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You need to remind your family over and over weeks in advance and that you need some special gifts!!! Insist! insist! And if they don’t give to you… withhold all kinds of privileges. Guys don’t remember those Holidays. You need to remind!!! Mary Ann

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Dont get him anything for Father’s Day same as he got you… I dont and his birthday Jack crap too

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Stop cooking. cleaning laundry and etc. for them and explain to them if you can’t think off me on a special day , then take care of yourselves. I bet they will learn fast. If not I think I would have a serious talk with the husband.

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Everyone loves differently. Maybe his way of showing love is letting you be a SAHM and providing for you and the kids. After 14 years you should’ve communicated your feelings already, but its never too late. Send the kids to a sleepover for a night, have some drinks with your hubby and have a heart to heart ! :heart:

You have every right to feel the way you feel. Starting treating them the same way, and if they ask. Let them know your only putting out what you’ve been taking in.

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Get a copy of the 5 love languages and leave it on his favorite chair or his night stand. If he doesnt see it, move it where he will.

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Sometimes it is what they do rather than what they say that counts, your man takes care of you and your kids but, in saying that, your kids should have done something for you

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You feel what you feel and you are being taken for granted. After 14 years, Hubby should know what makes you happy and what does not. And ACTIONS still speak louder than words. Tell him or write him ONCE: I expect a show of affection from time to time. I work my ass off every day to keep this family and household running properly. I should NOT have to ask for appreciation, IT SHOULD BE A GIVEN. This employee is over worked and underpaid, under appreciated and tired of asking. If all you can muster is a date on a calendar That I Remind You Of, STOPMAKING ME TELL YOU! Get a damn calendar in your truck and GET A CLUE before I declare a strike. I deserve better than I get and I am currently deserving better THAN YOU! Not your Mommy. I was supposed to be your partner but here I am mostly ALONE. Thanks much. ~~~ Then pick a date and destination and go off for a weekend by yourself and don’t file a flight plan. He needs a big wake up call.

This was how it went for me. I finally got fed up and bought my own gifts and told him To feel free to do the same . My kids were old enough to earn money and buy if they wanted to though .

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You absolutely have that right

I literally had to send a necklace to my husband and say buy me this.

If you would have mentioned it, you would have gotten something…my husband is the same way and I am unbothered. He just bought us a house! Tomorrow is our anniversary but with COVID and being busy, we won’t do anything special. If he’s not the type of person to take initiative on gift giving, then tell him want you want, like you’ve been doing.

Me either. My husband is a dick and is i considerate a d never gets me anything for birthdays anniversary or mother’s day. It hurts and it sucks because I have always gone out of the way to do for him.

Stop buying him stuff. And I’d use the money that you would have spent on him on urself

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Sir him down and tell him how you feel

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I’m sorry…how old are your boys?. Maybe have a little chat with them as well as with your husband…

If you want something tell him,maybe he never went to Hogwarts and don’t know magic🤣im the same so before mumzy mentions it ,i will do better to just do that shit before she says,lol

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Don’t take the kids to the store for father’s day see if he notices anything. :person_shrugging:

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Treat him the way he treats you and see how he likes it. 14 years is long enough to remember these important dates. Not knowing how old the kids are… they could be reminded too. Or find crafts you guys can do together on Mother’s Day or for your birthday. If it continues to go unacknowledged then just plan a day to pamper yourself. Best of luck to you!

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I get done the same way im. Divorced but my grown kids never acknowledger
Me I get nothing’s Christmas for birthdays or mothers day I hate those days cause all I do is cry

Completely unexceptionable… how hard is it to pick up a card or give a hug of appreciation. That is just selfish of all of them. Happy mothers day from me to you

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I had high Hope’s of seeing my daughter. My sister bought me a small bouquet of flowers and a card for my grandsons to give me. I got the flowers and card. Neither took the time to sign the card. I did get my steak and shrimp I bought for myself. They also had steak. I am used to it. This year they will get the same. It’s time to teach them a lesson. My husband is gone 9 yrs. He always remembered me. Oh well. It is what it is.

Just throw the whole family away!

I’m the same way, there is a certain person that I’m close to and they don’t think birthdays/holidays are a big deal and I have always felt they are. So if I don’t get something special, they don’t either. I pay close attention to the effort that is given and if it’s not there I don’t return it. :woman_shrugging:

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Look up the 5 love languages. Your husband’s may be different from yours. You want and show affection. Maybe both read the book or look into it together. It may help.

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No you’re not overreacting. Part of having a relationship is knowing you are obligated to show emotion, express gratitude, respect & love for one another. I wonder how things would change if you treated him exactly the way he treated you.
Wemon are so easy to please, we don’t all require expensive jewelry or vehicles, boats or any kind of expensive materialistic things… a little thoughtful gift means a whole lot of love.

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