I didn't get anything for Mother's Day - Just needing to vent

Stop buying him shit

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Is it your birthday Joy. Happy birthday.

Buy something for yourself and tell him thank you for it. That way you get what you want and are never disappointed. But if it’s your feeling appreciated that you want. Tell them, tell them all. “You know what mommy wants for mother’s day, to go out and eat breakfast or spend the day at the beach or park. Daddy can take yall to the store so yall can pick up something that you think I want or you can make something for me.”

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That’s just plain outright b.s. They ALL are taking advantage and taking for granted. Nope, best sit them ALL down together and clear their minds of this thought process.

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I gave my husband a list of things I would like from the youngest to pick from cause i know mybhusband and know i wont get anything otherwise. I wish hed think to get me something without me having to say something but i know he wont so i say something and try to avoid the even worse feeling of it all being forgotton. I still ended up having to mass clean for an inspection mothers day because he wanted to procrastinate but thats anseparate issue.

Does he tell his mom Happy Mother’s Day

I would be pissed also. But mostly hurt and i would also feel very much unappreciated. This holiday is wll advertised, no excuse is acceptable. I would definitely give him the same treatment for Father’s Day , as difficult as it would be for me. But I truly believe that is the only way he will understand what it feels like for you

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You could go on strike. Lol. Wasn’t there some movie where the mom’s went on strike? :person_shrugging:

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Your feelings are valid but does he show love and appreciation in other ways. everybody has their own love language. yours seems to be service and giving presents, his may be physical affection and providing. learn each other. as for your kids its not their fault, nobody is teaching them your needs. your husband obviously doesn’t know then and as you’re an at home mom doing everything for the kids they think that’s your role and they don’t need to do anything, teach them differently. maybe they only know how to show love through good grades or chores or saying they love you. with kids you have to spell it out.

Oh my you should feel some type of way…i agree dont take the kids to buy him anything for fathers day… :pensive::blue_heart::sleepy:

No one can read your mind ! Have a sweet talk , and say it ! One of the reason relationship become cold and broken , if we do not say what make’s us happy ! Communication, is always the answer !

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Awww, Sweetheart!! I’m so sorry! You deserve to at least get a breakfast, or clean up or SOMETHING!! Your husband is setting a bad example for these boys. You are as well, not teaching them to be thoughtful or appreciative of ANY one, especially their mother!! This is awful. I would NEVER put up with it.

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No longer buy him anything for any occasion, including his Birthday. Also, I’d suggest getting a full time job yourself so that way you’ll have some independence for yourself, your husband will have to learn to adjust to your absence as well as learn to pitch in in raising his sons’, and also, you’ll make your own money so you can go buy yourself something nice for whatever holiday you want to celebrate for yourself.

I’d also sit him down and let him know how you feel; let him know he isn’t setting a good example for his sons in how to treat women… as showing important women in their lives that they are appreciated is vital to a healthy relationship, and that you expect things to change immediately. If things don’t change after a year, I’d suggest filing for divorce.

You deserve waaay better. Set your standards and values high, and if he can’t meet them— then you will find someone who will. :heartpulse:

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One day do nothing especially on mothers day and see how they feel husband didn’t grown up in a loving and caring environment doesn’t hurt to remind him of holidays birthdays etc some men aren’t built like that teach him honey

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that is not right your husband knows

what he should be doing for you. . one Christmas i bought my husband a coat I charge it he had me take it back said we couldn’t afford it.The next following Christmas he got nothing for that act! The next Christmas he made sure i bought him something . pay back can be affected!!

Do the same thing to him when father day comes ! Maybe he get the hit don’t buy anything for the boys when they want something just a thought or talk to them about it

Next year on Mother’s Day get up early and leave the house. Spend the day taking care of you. Go out to eat, to a movie, a park, a spa. Leave a note letting them know that you are giving yourself a day off for you.
Enjoy and make it an annual event.

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You teach people how to treat you. If its unacceptable, make it known. Loud and clear. If it’s OK, stop complaining.

My ex never got me anything for Birthday’s valentine’s day Mother’s day Christmas or any other day but I was supposed to do something for his Birthday that is 12 days before mine I treated him like he did me

You should be appreciated if I hadn’t known better o would have thought I wrote this myself

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Make yrself feel special…as for me i dont wait for my birthday i dissapear by myself…go somewhere by yrself sometimes

I’m sorry. Yes you have a right to be upset.

I totally understand. Stay at home mom. Been married to the same man 21 years. I always get him gifts for every holiday. I even get him things at random just to show my appreciation because he does work hard and pay the bills and take care of us. But it still hurts that I buy him things all the time and he only gets me things when I basically beg, and then complains. I have no advice. Just deal or leave. I’ve dealt with it for a very long time . Though occasionally he will surprise me with something nice. Like once a year if I’m lucky. I’m sorry you’re dealing with the same. Just know your kids see and they appreciate you.

Don’t get him anything…if your boys are old enough, let them do their laundry, clean their bathroom, etc

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You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate. What’s good for one is good for all!
Fathers day would be cancelled and kids wouldnt be getting bday presents in my world!

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I know the feeling. The whole time I was married, my ex said “you’re not my mother, why should I do anything for you?” Never mind when our kids were little, they would try to do for me and he wouldn’t help. But he did expect to be acknowledged on Father’s Day.
This past Mothers Day, I spent alone. With my dogs… My girls called, but my boys, still haven’t heard from them.
It’s hurtful…

Your feelings are justified

You said you’ve been sad and feeling bad
you said that you’ve been married 14 years and that he’s never bought you a gift on his own accord, unless you tell him to.

So… don’t expect him to just magically change his behavior

I understand the frustration

But, really you should have told him what you want, be direct

Order yourself something nice a month in advance so you get it in time for mother’s day and
Tell him you want him and the boys to make you breakfast for mother’s day

You need to take care of your needs, which means talking to him and telling him directly what you want him to do for you
Give him a chance to do what he normally does, but you can’t hold his behavior against him if you’ve allowed it for 14 years
You can also make sure your children are doing something too
Don’t take advantage of how things are all the time to make yourself feel worse
Do you… Buy yourself something you really want like jewelry with all of your birthstones or whatever you like
But don’t hold his normal behavior against him because you would like him to be different :person_shrugging:

Take advantage of his noncompliance and do for you :sparkling_heart: and don’t feel bad about it

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Been in that, I don’t have a job, so I’m not worthy place.The place would fall apart if you left… I don’t care how much he works, it’s one time a year. Taking the kids out to pick a bunch of weed flowers and putting them in a glass is better than nothing… Letting Mom sit while they serve her breakfast… ( even if u made it) you don’t have to spend money to be nice… But remember you are setting an example for the kids, you need to tell the kids what you expect, even if your husband doesn’t. You are teaching them what to do when they are adults…

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Gee that sounds like my relationship. I stopped buying for my partner cause I thought what’s good for one is good for the other.
I work myself to contribute to my house hold and if he can’t repay the decency then he gets the same in return. But my children are old enough now to be able to buy gifts for me.

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Your boys need to be taught way different then how their dad is and there’s no better time!

Read 5 Love Languages…and ask him to do the same. Gifts is obviously one of your languages, but not necessarily one of his. This book will likely teach you something about each other…even after 14 years.

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When I was married to my ex husband he did the same thing. I never got a gift for any occasion. I was so hurt and would express that to him but he never changed. Eventually I started buying my own gifts with his money because I too was a stay at home mom. I didn’t go overboard but would happily show him what I got me for Christmas, Valentines Day, Mothers Day, etc. I’d have a dozen roses in a vase when he’d get home from work and say Look what I got for Valentine’s Day! I have a beautiful white gold Mom pendant necklace I bought for Mothers day when my daughter was a baby and still wear it every year on Mothers Day with a proud grin. She’s sixteen now and I remind her every year how special it is to me to be her mom and that necklace reminds me how strong of a woman I was to buy it for myself with or without his approval. You deserve to be rewarded for all your hard work. If he doesn’t appreciate you then show him how much you appreciate yourself for all the great things you do. :sparkling_heart:

Stop remembering him , he will notice

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It’s our jobs as men/husbands to make you feel appreciated for the hard work you do, sometimes we need to be reminded but that’s a long time to be feeling unappreciated. Your feelings are definitely validated, take some of these peoples advice and instead of holding it against him, express your feelings to him and your children but don’t expect them to change overnight and definitely do something for yourself. Maybe make plans with your family when possible, to take a day for yourself every now and again. Just you! Take yourself out, or whatever it is that you enjoy. You’re in charge of your happiness too!!

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No sweetheart you are not overeacting you just being human and honest it have a lot of WOMEN out here who feels like same wau

Sorry, that’s sad. Going forward…give ONLY hugs as gifts. Give hug and kisses coupons, they’ll get the point soon.

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Why the need to be bought for?
It’s mothers’ day, why not do something beautiful and fun with the children ?

You are not overreacting! You deserve to be appreciated for the work that you also put in for the family. It’s very important to talk to your spouse about things that bothers you. Communication is key. Happy Late Mother’s Day. You are a wonderful mom. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. :yellow_heart:

No. You’re not. That kind of crap gets old real quick and you need to quit holdin it in and letting them off the hook.

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I’d be upset. We need to be appreciated and we SHOULD be appreciated. Every single person. I bet he could’ve had the boys pick you some flowers and you would’ve been happy about it. He should lead by example and teach those boys to appreciate people esp their mom, a good woman. You’re teaching them that. He should too. Let him know he needs to step up… On another note… I got nothing as well. :woman_shrugging:

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I have a similar problem with my husband. He makes sure to get a small gift or something, or he’ll take me shopping and tell me to pick something out. He has never taken the kids out to buy mom a present for anything. Once they got jobs, they buy me stuff with their money now. He does make a big thing out of my birthday, and valentine’s day.

Same at my house its sad

And this is one of the many reasons I am a single full time parent. Never again will I allow another man make me feel used and unappreciated. Rather do it all by myself. But I have no advice for you other than to teach your boys to be better.

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Give him what you get- nothing on Father’s Day lol. That sucks

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You treat people how you want to be treated. It sounds like gifts is apart of your love language. I’m now a direct person and so I usually tell people what I want or need but it was something that I had learn and work into my habits. If you don’t tell people how you’re feeling then they aren’t going to know how you’re feeling.

I will say loudly “I’m anxious”, “I’m frustrated”, “I need a hug” and “I’m happy”.

My boyfriend actually taught me how to do this so that he knows what’s going on inside my head.

Next year yell out “tomorrow’s Mother’s Day and I need all of you to make feel loved and appreciated. It’s important to me.”

I rather get a surprise gift or visit when I least expect any day but Mother’s Day. Worse day of the year to eat out.

No you not over reacting. Been there. It does not feel good not being appreciated.

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No! You are not overreacting!! Try skipping a year with buying things for your husband on Father’s Day. I know that’s easier said than done. Maybe he will get the picture. I’m single but my 12 year old daughter will order me BBW gift card for me. She doesn’t have a way to the store to actually but it. She will also make me a card/picture.

I didn’t get anything from my kids at all not even a Happy mothers Day mom instead they gave me a hard time and there 13, 14, 17, and 20 wouldn’t even go get me a soda out the fridge thats sad but my sister and her husband did come by later that night and her husband got me a ring and both got me a lottery tickets and a outfit because they know Im taking care Of my kids alone and have been all there lifes and I never get nothing so Im thankful for my sister and her husband for thinking of me

That was this year for me too. I already felt unappreciated, and now it’s just worse. I would have been happy with anything that showed me he made the effort to make me feel special and appreciated. It really isn’t about money. It’s about being recognized. Putting effort into showing that we deserve something special. It’s a horrible feeling to not feel appreciated.

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Maybe it was the way he was taught or showed while growing up and if so that,s sad just hope he is good tó you in other ways and his kids too

happy mothers day to woman who only knows how to take care of her kids and of course her husband very submissive wife hope someday one of your children will greet you a happy happy mothers day with warm embrace and hugs and kisses and then says the they really appreciated you the most for being their very sweet and loving momma​:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::beers::beers::beers::icecream::icecream::icecream::icecream::heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes::birthday::birthday::birthday::icecream::icecream::champagne::champagne::rose::rose::rose::rose::rose::rose:

Sounds like your husband and you just speak different love languages. Maybe sit and communicate that those gifts would like to be how you are appreciated.

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I am sorry , that is not the way to treat a woman or mother Period.

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Have you thought about your love language vs his love language? If he doesn’t do ANYTHING for you I would def think there is a problem but maybe material things just aren’t something he values? Communicate your wants and needs. Let him know you’d like for him to take some initiative.

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I always try to get my husband gifts for Father’s Day, but he doesn’t do anything for Mother’s Day. I just try to pretend it doesn’t matter.

No your not I feel ya. I wish iw ohld get flowers every now and then but its life.

U r not over reacting! You need to stop and give him things. He does not appreciate you. If you need to say something for him to buy you things then I suggest u leave him! You are sad hurt and unappreciated he could be cheating who knows

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Bless your heart…I remember those days. I cried a lot. Got a vacuum for Christmas right after the birth of our first child.
My heart needed something that showed a little bit of love and appreciation.
So…buy yourself something you don’t normally!
A candle…a new nightgown…something and just tell him …your bought xyz for yourself for mother’s day. Done. I know it’s not what you wanted…I get it
But you do deserve it!

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I dont even know you & I want to get something for you for mother’s day… Sit down, have a conversation with your man and the boys. :sunflower::heart: Quality relationships are built with difficult open honest discussions. They need to be raised to treat a woman right. If they don’t do small acts of kindness for you, they won’t for anyone else either. Even just a hand written card or doing the dishes for you. Have you talked to them about this and told them how horrible you feel?

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You have every right to be upset, angry and hurt. They just don’t get it.

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If you are getting Love than that matters if not then they don’t care

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You know what you do & you should feel good about yourself if he doesn’t get you anything don’t let it make you feel bad that’s on him you know what you did & you should feel good inside

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I am in the same boat as you.

Honestly. I don’t expect anything. But I’m still upset if it is nothing. I mean a card would be enough for me. I’m like you, and go out of my way bc that’s how you show you appreciate someone. However not everyone has the same language per say. Voicing it is your best option. Bc to me…it doesn’t matter what holiday or day. You are feeling unappreciated and that will turn into resentment. But he’s not a mind reader. Voice it, in my opinion.

Stop getting him things for holidays and birthdays etc … cook what you like and want to eat and if complains point to the kitchen and tell him to make his own meal … so tired of men only thinking of themselves and being selfish … he would be sleeping on the couch as well

Enough

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Idk… it seems he’s been this way from the start and it should kind of be expected. I understand feeling unappreciated but I think I’d be more concerned if he had done things before then just stopped. Just my opinion

guys need to think about flower for they lady every know and then and they dont shame on them

The gift is in the Mothering… Expecting a full roll out for a Hallmarks Holiday is a little on the childish side of Christmas expectations.
Never put value in a holiday invented to sell cards …

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Totally overreacting.

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It’s OK to feel this way but you also need to convey those feelings. I work from home and recently took custody of another child my man works his ass off. I have to tell him exactly what to get me, sometimes I send pics we’ve been together 12 years and we love each other. Sometimes that gets lost in the day to day chaos. Communicate respectfully.

Take that money you spend on him and buy yourself something nice

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Sounds like you need a date night to re-kindle the flame. Get a baby sitter, make reservations at a nice restaurant, get a hotel room and act like you did 14 years ago. GOOD LUCK !!!

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I didn’t get anything either :confused:

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You saying “for once” you want to feel special sounds to me that your husband puts no effort. I think you should sit down n communicate with him and let him know how you feel. You are not considered and its the simple considerations of recognitions can go a long way. Good luck to you and HAPPY LATE MOTHERS DAY! I think its time u do for you 1st!

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It is nice to feel appreciated. Either by a card or even as simple as an hr of kid and husband free. I would talked to him about it. And let him know your feelings

His Love Language is different than yours. You know how he works. Tell him exactly what you want for Mother’s Day just as you would for Christmas.

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Communication is the key… Meaning both talk and listen… Dont just talk at him , but with him…feeling unappreciated is one of the most hurtful things.

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Divorce him or deal with it.

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Talk to him…dont let it fastor. For to long. U have a conversation…

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Dont feel bad ive had numerous bdays without any of my family saying anything. I dony expect anything from ppl.

Throw the whole man away.

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People on here seem pretty heartless.
You need to train your children & your husband to do nice things for others. No money needed.
My 15 year old cleaned the house for me (I think that was my best gift).
I did get tons of flowers. But I picked out & bought myself a watch.
I also remind my family how much I love flowers & I can never have too many.

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I always do what he does . If he doesn’t get me nothing for my birthday or Mother’s Day he doesn’t get nothing either on birthdays and Father’s Day . Oh well it is what it is . Have him feel how it feels to not get shit .

EXCEPT YOUR LIFE AS IS
OR
MAKE NECESSARY CHANGES…

                      (#2iscorrect)
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I started making my own plans for mothers day and my birthday after years of disappointment… beach day or weekend and I’ve given my kids 20 bucks or my debit card to buy me surprise gifts… should it be like that? No, but they get to give and I get to receive so everyone is happy! I highly recommend booking a beach vacation if you can swing that! Already have my deposit for next mothers day :woman_shrugging:

Yeah fathers day is coming up forget bout him let him see how it feels I was over looked this year to but it didn’t bother me for some reason

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You are not overreacting , some men are just really insensitive. But in your case just be thankful that your husband is responsible . .

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You have every right to your feelings. Stop buying for him!!!

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I haven’t received a Mother’s Day gift since my kids quit making their own when they were little. So a good 10-12 years! But I don’t expect gifts from my children. I expect myself to love and respect them, and get the same in return. They are kids. The husband though? I don’t have any advice.

U dont have wait no hussy to get u anything u could buy yourself something for your self I no u hurt just forget and move forward

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I feel you girl. When my kids were babies I once asked my husband what he was getting me for mother’s day and he told me nothing because you are not my mom. I was so hurt back then. Now my kids are older and they give me flowers and gifts. It’s okay to speak up. Tell them how you feel.

There is a reason mother’s day is first. If you get nothing, he gets nothing.

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Definitely not overreaching!! I say throw the whole man out on next rubbish day .

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Never apologize for how you feel. You feel a certain way for a reason and feelings are never to be ashamed of.

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You are not overreacting
And you deserve gifts for every holiday just like everyone else
You should sit him down and have a conversation with him about it
What a horrible example he’s setting for your kids.

He not falling for the commercial part of it. Good for him. Did you know the woman who got mother day to become a national holiday in 1914 later fought to have it no longer recognized as a holiday because it became commercialized? She only want people to simply say thanks mom, not spend money. Get over yourself

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Enrico Nysschens a must read :eyes:

I use to take my daughter shopping and point things out I love like. She was great. Remembered everything too. I always got something I wanted