Presence not presents
1 Like
There is no excuse… love language or not, I would go on strike and let it be known that you have feelings!
Happy Mother’s day lady!! Hugs and blessings!! It’s a damn shame rhat so many of us have to nudge or hint at wanting to be celebrated and feel pampered for certain holidays. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel cherished!!
3 Likes
Hope you can raise your boys to appreciate their partner and make them feel special seen as though their father isn’t setting a good example.
Give yourself the day off when Dad is home and let them fend for themselves
5 Likes
Go out and buy yourself something. Nothing wrong with that.
3 Likes
It’s a man thing some of us have absolutely terrible memories with dates and events and if U mention it he probly is reminded just have a talk and ask why you didn’t get anything and how it makes U feel he probly just forgot
2 Likes
I will buy you gift on your birthday please dm me
1 Like
stop buying him anything . So when he says something which I bet he will. That when you say well I am now not doing anything because you not doing anything.
6 Likes
Remember this on father’s day
4 Likes
Since your husband is not instilling the gift idea on your kids then you need to do it. do you have someone that can take the kids shopping to get you a gift or have them pick something around the house they cAn gift wrap n give to you or have them make u a card
1 Like
I have felt this way. I always think of my family buying favorite foods snacks etc. Running the household and working. One year no card nothing. I was pissed. NEVER happened again.
I have taken my kids Christmas shopping ie pick out some pajamas at a dept store. Had the clerk help hide it and I paid the bill.
I don’t always get something for my wife and vice versa she doesn’t always get for me it’s about loving each other and not expecting something all the time
You are definitely entitled to feel the way that you do and to express your sadness my daughter has went through the same thing with her baby’s dad and it is sad yet if we don’t get the man something then I’m sure that we hear about it if I was you I would do what I told my daughter and when it comes to father’s day don’t get him anyting when his birthday is here in another week don’t get him anyting I know two wrongs don’t make it right but you know treat other people the way you want to be treated and if they want to treat you that way then treat them that way
I know how you feel.
Just something to show you they care.
Sounds like u need a sugar daddy…
2 Likes
You have to tell men and show them, remind them. Be blunt about what you like to receive. My anniversary was on Valentines and I made it clear that I was expecting two gifts. My Birthday is May 6th so Mother’s Day is right after. Again two separate gifts. It didn’t matter size of gift as long as it wasn’t pots or pans, knife set. I did a lot for them and put them first so heck yes I earned those days. If that doesn’t work then when your shopping put in an item as your gift and take that day off.
It s nice to feel appreciated. And it will be nice for your boys to start learning to compliment a lady. Maybe you can have a nice quiet talk about it with your husband. It doesn t have to be a gift. Maybe they can show their appreciation by preparing a special breakfast or nice meal. It s their effort that counts. Good luck.
5 Likes
"Oh WOW! All these comments about what a horrible husband he is. How she should leave him. Oh boohoohoo! It’s been 14 yrs, doubtful it will change, it’s just the way he is! GET OVER IT! There is far far more to being a good husband/father/man than buying gifts for his SO!!! Think about his positive features. Surely there are many or you would’ve given up long before having 4 kids…LOL. Just plan some time for yourself if needed. Whatever it takes without forcing him to be someone he isn’t.
5 Likes
Exactly they don’t so **** for us but expect and want us to bend over backwards for them
1 Like
I know a woman who circles ads and draws arrows snd says hint, hint!
Or u order and ask him to pay?
Sorry…not fair maybe w/ encouragement will evolve over time?
Ungrateful asses smh I would just disappear on birthday and holidays and do for myself…women are so undervalued it’s annoying as hell 
the kids learn that behavior from their dad smh
5 Likes
Stop doing that stop going out of your way to make stuff special for him TRUST ME … eventually he will either notice you stopped and then u can say well thats how I feel … or he will not give a crap and either way u stop going out of your way for someone who clearly DOESNT appreciate everything you offer in your family…don’t ever allow anyone to treat you as u are u invisible or required to do anything…
2 Likes
My son is 2 his dad says your not my mom why would i buy you anything??? BECAUSE IM THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILD IDIOT and yes were together and no i didnt get anything
Same here dear,u r not alone on this boat,
1 Like
This was my exact situation. I feel your hurt and disappointment to the core of me. This happened with my husband for many years and I have had many (sometimes angry, disappointed or heartbroken) conversations about it with him. Believe it or not it is getting better after 17 years of parenting and 20 years of marriage. Keep trying to teach him what you need. Gifts may not be his language. I also have tried to instil the importance of gratitude and appreciation in our children to help the next generation.
My husband is the same way! And I have brought it up many times. After 11 years he still can’t remember my birthday!
I have learned that over the years we all have a love language. Find out what his is. It might help you. As for your kids they should be old enough to even make you a gift.
I live this exactly you are not wrong or overreacting its hurtful and im sorry you arent appreciated or acknowledged
Sound like your a narcissist. They only care to shut you up when you mentioned what they aren’t doing . He doesn’t care . You shouldn’t be treated less that what you believe you deserve.
You have the right to feel that way.
1 Like
No u are not overreacting . A mother does want to feel that her hard work is appreciated because it is damn hard to be a House wife. This is not nice and u need to let your family know how u feel
1 Like
Have you expressed to him how you’ve expressed to us? Does he know that you feel this way? Can’t change what you don’t know about
1 Like
For Father’s Day give him the kids and go get a mani/pedi!!
7 Likes
Get out of the relationship…
He sounds like a narcissist .
Take care of you and the kids 
1 Like
Some people need to go thru an experience to develop empathy. An equal effort on Father’s Day to what your husband did for the mother of his children seems appropriate. Give him the pleasure of his 4 children on father’s Day while you do something out of the house for yourself. kt
1 Like
You are not overreacting!
You are not overreacting. I would definitely tell him how hurt you are & I would not get him anything for Father’s Day.
1 Like
Go treat yourself…use some of the money you would normally treat them with.
4 Likes
You absolutely have the right to feel anyway that you are at anytime and you deserve to be celebrated for the great mother you are on that special day 
sorry that you weren’t here’s some flowers for you x
Happy Mother’s Day. I feel your pain. I’ve been with my husband for thirty years and I to got nothing. Our anniversary just passed and I got nothing then. I’m so sorry. Your worth more. Have a great day
My ex husband still takes our son shopping for my birthday, and mother’s day and all holidays, I do the same. Teaches our son how to think about others. Your husband is a jerk. I don’t care what he does for a living, he needs to step up.
Know exactly how u feel on this!!
OMG — My ex bought me a vacuum cleaner for one Mother’s Day, a snowmobile (that was too large for me to handle, but perfect size for him) for my birthday, a trip to Hawaii for Christmas, but made sure he phoned “back home” everyday to a female “co-worker” (cough, cough), you know, just to make sure things were going good at the office, of which he was only an employee (not shareholder or anything), flowers for my birthday — 3 days late, slept with an other woman on our anniversary, a gorgeous jacket for another birthday ---- 2 sizes too small so I’d supposedly lose some weight to fit into it (haha), and the list goes on and on. Some men just “don’t get it”!! 
Gove him what he gives you on special occasions. I FORGOT!!!
1 Like
Well happy mothers day you deserve a special word
3 Likes
Happy Mothers Day! And YES! I think you deserve something. Go with a friend, get a massage. have dinner out and take in a movie.
1 Like
You’re not overreacting. You deserve to feel appreciated.
You are 100% right motherhood and marriage aren’t based on materialistic things but it wouldn’t cost a thing (other than cleaning up the mess) to write “I love you” or “happy mother’s day” out in condiments or shaving cream etc.
I know men dont think that way but dang it I wish they did. Treat yourself Ma, I know it’s not the same but you deserve it.
2 Likes
Its just a commercial day your kids should show they appreciate you every day not just a commercial day
2 Likes
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO YOU!! You definitely deserve it!!
1 Like
Then what you need to do is spend the day at the spa and get a facial. Take time for yourself let them cook for themselves for once
1 Like
You might have much different love languages. Maybe do this test together. It sounds like he isn’t the type to give gifts so maybe he does not understand that is how you feel loved/appreciated. Have you also tried to drop hints? My fiancé has not gotten me things in the past for Mother’s Day (this is actually the first year he has being together almost 9 years). I tried to explain to him how I want to feel appreciated on that day. We have done this quiz so we understand each other. Mine are acts of service and quality time (meaning I need some alone time also). SOO this year he cleaned the house for me and bought me a massage and made me take a day to myself. It sounds like maybe he just doesn’t realize how he’s making you feel because he feels love differently!!
I am not giving an excuse for him just trying to offer a suggestion that worked for me 
I also wake up often with my Starbucks now since he realized how I feel love!! 
Talk to hubby about setting a good example for the boys… tell him it would be lovely to feel more appreciated and this is important to you. Your boys are learning from him… and you. On other side when you are buying gifts for Father’s Day his bday etc… talk to them about the meaning behind the gifts… the appreciation, the love, the importance of giving and set the standard for them. As they get older they will (hopefully) practice what they have learned. I brought up my kids like this and they spoil me a lot , especially on these special days. 
4 Likes
You have every right to feel this way. Next year take yourself out for a spa day and give yourself a break. The hubby can take care of things for the day.
1 Like
I don’t think you are overeating I can understand the hurt but as another person mention it’s a commercial holiday as are many others. Do your kids show you appreciation the other days of the year?what other ways does your husband show his love? does he make sure you have a full tank of gas etc.
I didn’t get anything from my husband either but truthfully I didn’t expect anything because he shows me he appreciates me in other ways. If I do want something I usually have to let him know and after 15 years I’m ok with that.
I’m not trying to dismiss how hurt you are because I truly get it but I hope you can find comfort in the other ways you are shown love and if you aren’t then that’s really the problem that needs addressing in my opinion.
Communicate to your family how it made you feel and let them know in the future how you want to be appreciated
.
2 Likes
Don’t buy anything for him seriously just don’t than maybe he’ll see but he could be one of those people who think this stuff isn’t important and its just another day
1 Like
Definitely not over reacting . Sorry had a bad mother’s day. Hope the kids and husband wished you Happy Mother’s Day.
Stop buying him stuff when it is an occasion go buy yourself something with the money you would spend on him
2 Likes
Yes you are fine to feel like that.
Those boys will learn to treat their own wives like crap… rude!!
2 Likes
My late husband could be the same, I suggest you do the same to him, I also wouldn’t bother giving him hints either… he’s an adult and if he can’t be bothered to remember why should you put yourself out to remember… kids are a bit different depending on ages… a card and flowers isn’t too much to ask for… at the very least… 
Yes you have a right to vent, you’re not just a stay at home mom, and if you were to go away for a few days your family would realise that too! Why don’t you put a large board up that everyone can see showing anniversaries, birthdays, Mother’s Day etc, and also another board showing things that you would appreciate as a gift, maybe your husband doesn’t realise that you want some sort of recognition for all that you do, I would also talk to your husband and make him aware, because, god forbid that nothing does, if you had an accident and wound up in hospital, they most assuredly would be lost without you. So talk to hubby and the kids and get them to pull their weight around the house a bit more, you’re not their slave after all. My vent over!
I didn’t read the previous comments but I feel you! He works first and I am second shift and I still have them all day and prepare dinner while luckily working from home while he falls asleep and we’d have twins!!! And I only took on second shift because daycare is too much in our area! Hang in there! (Hugs)
1 Like
Give him reminding notes if he forgets and talk about it if you don’t feel good about it and don’t rely on big gifts. He could easily just make a lovely handwriten note or a card or if the kids are not that old make a painting etc… With the kids. It doesn’t have to be an expensive gift. Even if it’s only a hug or kiss with some words.
1 Like
I’m in a similar situation… I dnt take it seriously as it’s just different for some ppl and…
I do suggest you take it upon yourself to celebrate and spoil yourself on these days… it really works
4 Likes
Happy Mother’s Day. Hun, go out and buy yourself something with his money! Hell, while you’re at it buy something from your kids too.
2 Likes
You need to tell him all the things that are important to you. He does not place value on Mothers day/Fathers day and you do. You are hoping to get a gift of appreciation where he could probably care less. I know how I always thought it takes away the value if I have to ask, but if you have the conversation this year for all important holidays, then it will feel like it was his idea next holidays. I hope this helps.
2 Likes
Stop cooking. And then he will pay attention 
1 Like
You do need to speak with him. This is not setting a good example for the boys and with him being the father, he is the role model. He needs to lead them in a different direction. I would take the credit card and say I’m going to go do this or that for Mother’s Day, smile and not feel bad. When the next holiday comes up, say oh by the way, we are celebrating this year… just as you will celebrate Father’s Day for him. I would be pulling those boys aside right now, saying, what are we going to do for your father? Get things changed around… this is about nothing except acknowledgment and respect… and you deserve it
4 Likes
I would just sit him down and express how I feel
1 Like
Happy Mothers day Dear be blessed abundantly… Your husband probably thinks you’re ok and that’s why he married you because you’re different from other women who likes gifts for every occasion… 
Do the same thing to him. Tit for tat. And while you’re at it, go spend his money on yourself, go shopping for yourself, get a massage, get your hair done etc…
2 Likes
Nice when someone goes out of their way,makes you feel appreciated and wanted,card only would be nice! Definetly not over reacting! Its the little things that count
Your not overreacting. I never got to see my son or my grandkids on mother’s day. Apparently they had more important plans to do. Mother’s day is only once a year, you would think mother’s would be able to see their kids on that day. I can tell you one thing, I would never ever do that to my mom. 
Sorry this happened to you! I know exactly how you feel. Shame on all of them!!!
True material things are not everything but being shown appreciation is. Your husband is not modelling that behaviour for your boys. Just because he’s gone all day working should not diminish your work at home, either.
Even if they made you a homemade card and made your fav dinner.
If you don’t say anything nothing will change. You will know where things stand after that. The pandemic is also not an excuse for not showing you appreciation as a mom. Like I said a homemade card, a meal made for you, chores done, family walk. Yes, they also need reminders, especially if this sort of thing did not happen in their home as a child. Did your husband acknowledge his mom?
1 Like
Just send him a link to this post. X
Don’t buy him any thing when its his turn… Dont even go there just forget… Just get the kids to make a home made card… No pressie… And not even a card from you… Will he even notice… 
Growing up my dad was always always busy with work and he would often forget birthdays and occasions but he would somehow remember last minute and try do something nice whether its dinner or food or gifts.
And is the most giving.
Stop making extra effort for him …not in a mean way but giving and receiving works both ways
My ex family was jevohas witness…I’d only give him gifts if he made some sort of effort or wanted to. Otherwise if he doesn’t believe in this…then nor would i
Working hard as a husband and a father doesnt give you a free pass to be a douche to ignore mothers day.
I know the feeling been married 22 years been with 24. If he don’t get me something I make sure I buy myself something that is great of deal of money like $500 to $1000. If he don’t like I done it maybe next time will go get me something I tell him.
3 Likes
Youre just asking for consideration. Remind him of that and express that youre understanding of everything that must be on his mind, as the provider, that could make it difficult to remember. Just try to communicate your side, while also considering his. Hope everything works out for a better mothers day next year
Definitely a conversation to have with him. It’s unacceptable. Even a card can show SOME appreciation. He’s not setting a good example for the boys.
2 Likes
Yes you are.He is a hardworker you say …well thats you gift.
2 Likes
I have never got anything from Mother’s Day from any husband or kid
From now on take the boys to pick a gift out for YOU and don’t do anything for him. I’ve actually done it myself.
3 Likes
You are not over reacting. Just don’t buy him anything & let him know what it is like not to be appreciated.
3 Likes
You and your husband are unintentionally modelling for your boys the type of man they will be in their marriages. They don’t show you that they appreciate you in the way you’re looking for because their father doesn’t either. They will go on to do the same things with their significant others cause they see that you have accepted this. And they will continue to treat you this way as well.
2 Likes
How old are yr boys . Wld they know its mothers day and ask dad to get you something . Do they not make cards in school anymore
Sounds like me! I accept it and go but myself what i want and really cherish it! there are many of us out there!! I know they love me and yes it would be lovely but they show in different ways.
Just make sure you teach your boys better!
No your not over reacting,its annoying when you don’t get appreciated for the thankless task you do.
2 Likes
You have every right to feel the way you feel. It isn’t anyone’s place to tell you to feel differently. I’d recommend taking the time to have a sincere conversation with your husband. Try not to get emotional or come across as angry. Simply explain how you feel. You aren’t asking for lavish gifts or anything of that nature; you would just like to be acknowledged and celebrated on those special occasions or maybe just a random day (I like those even better). If you make him aware of your feelings and he continues to dismiss you- then that is a completely different issue that would need to be addressed. I wouldn’t avoid recognizing what he does for your family because at the end of the day, you want your children to experience a loving and giving parent too. Remember, they are learning from your behavior too. That is just my two cents. Please get the book, the Five Love languages “- it will also help you understand him. I wish you luck and hope he begins to show appreciation and begins to speak your “love language“.
1 Like
You are not alone sis. A lot of women go through that exact same thing
3 Likes
Siobhan Corcoran mom ranting again ? Noirin Corcoran
Communication is key👌
Stop doing everything for them and buying them gifts for every occasion and maybe just maybe he might wake up. He’s a dumbass.
5 Likes
I completely get it Hun! My rule for mother’s Day and my birthday is I don’t expect a gift as such but on those days the role reverses (as much as it can depending on the day). I have a day of no bum changes, no cooking, no cleaning and my other half takes it all on for the day. My oldest kid becomes tea bitch and my cup is never empty. If I do that every other day of the year those 2 days are not alot to ask for. My partner gets the same on his birthday and father’s day and ok the kids birthdays they have no chores xxx
Men are not mind readers. You need to tell them what you want lol
2 Likes
Dump him ! Or go treat yourself !!!
Everyone has a right to feel what they feel. On the other hand, it won’t get better if you feed your resentment. Best to find some way to talk it through with him, explain why it matters to you, hear why it doesn’t to him, see if you can find a compromise. Maybe choose your battles, pick just maybe two special occasions per year rather than asking him to remember all of them?
1 Like
I think all mums would feel like this and a lot don’t get anything.
4 Likes
I remind my son and hubby. You know tomorrow is Mother’s Day Works every time
Yes you are ok to feel that way. It doesnt take much to put some time aside to show appreciation for anyone! You also do alot that needs to be noticed and acknowledged.