Tell her to stay in a hotel and if her son doesnt like it tell him to get stay with her lol your house your child your life you cant make everyone happy
I mean you do what u want. But u had a baby with him so get use to his family. That’s the babys family too. I always say when you marry someone you marry their family… same goes with having a baby with someone.who knows it may be different with them there.
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I feel like there is more to all of this to be honest. Also it’s his baby too.
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It’s not his body going thru labor and delivery. He won’t be sore, achy, swollen and exhausted. If he doesn’t like it maybe he should stay with his family in a local hotel.
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My baby daddy tried to do this and I allowed it and now his mother is constantly overstepping boundaries with my child acting as though she is my daughters mother. Make sure to put them in their place! Stick to boundaries and let them know where they stand and that those boundaries are not to be overstepped. It’s your baby, darlin!! You got this mama 
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STICK TO YOUR GUNS HONEY! Let him be mad. He’ll live!
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Nope I would be like you’re not staying here come visit during day but out at night. The help is nice but you need to get a routine n bond with the baby. I had help during the day but I liked to be alone with my bf and baby.
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No I think it’s not unreasonable that you feel that way. His mother maybe wanted to help but it’s not reasonable to do it that way.You need to talk to her yourself. This is part of being a mom, learning tactful ways to resolve a problem for you and your child. Maybe ask she come a few weeks later after you feel physically better. She’s your family too.
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I knew my in-laws pretty well, and they were intruding too much from labour til about day 4.
Hubby wouldn’t kindly tell them to leave, so baby and I left.
My baby and nursing and naps and uninterrupted peace were what was healthy for myself and my child.
It’s quite inconsiderate of anyone to just think they can all pile in on your private and special time.
Babies don’t have phenomenal immune systems, they don’t need a bunch of people handling them and breathing on them or kissing all over them.
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They should get a motel
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It’s RSV season! I would want as few people around as possible!! Sorry…
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I see your side, but it’s his baby too, and also his home as well. If you wanted your family to be there afterward and he threw a fit, how would you feel? Take it from someone whose parents died before they got to meet their grandkids … let him have his family there with him. It obviously means a lot to him.
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I would tell them to make other arrangements. Your comfort is what matters if you’re uncomfortable it’ll be harder on you in every aspect. I’m 33 weeks and I’ve told my family that no one is to come and be with me during at least the first week after my daughter is born as I need time to adjust and heal. We will not be answering the door. If we need the help we’ll call. There’s an exception if they’re out of town relatives in town but they’re only to be there between certain times and they’re to make other arrangements for where they’re going to stay. My boyfriend is well aware of this and has explained to his mom that that is what I’m comfortable with and things might change but for now that’s how it’s going to be. She was upset because she wants to see her granddaughter but she understands that my comfort is what matters most. More then my boyfriend or her or even my family.
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I wouldn’t ask politely. I’d tell them they must make other arrangements and repeat it like a broken record until they comply. You are not required to devalue yourself to make others feel valued. “Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.”
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The boyfriend is probably fighting so hard for HIS family to be there so he doesn’t have to lift a finger to help out with the baby. Jmo
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I have been there, tell them to make other arrangements.
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Bilal Youssef I’m usually all for women doing what makes them feel comfortable but I feel like this is abit slack and is going to create a further divide between her and their in-laws, how awkward if one of us turned around and said the others family can’t stay with us
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I was so glad I didnt live close to people. And my family waited to come and visit us. We are 6.5 hours from both sides. After baby, boobs are out, hair is everywhere, sleep is all over the place. They should stay at a hotel close by or a bed and breakfast maybe. In Canada we have Airbnb not sure if you do? Honestly you are so tired and so overwhelmed with watching your tiny baby every second you need space. Having 3 extra bodies in the house would have driven me insane. My brother sister in law and 3 year old came up two weeks after and stayed down the road. After dinner I was ready for them to leave and they knew this having a little one of their own.
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It’s not unreasonable and would have caused me to seclude myself in the bedroom the entire time and post partum will already be hard
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A WEEK After she’s due she has THREE people staying in a 2bed APT ! R u fucking kidding 
I would not hesitate to say F**K NO. Sorry not sorry ,bye ! And if they are really “Family” , they will understand.
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Politely/rudely/very rudely tell them that you are looking forward to easing into being a family without having to feel the need to entertain anyone. If you have pushback, go full on Mama bBear and say you’re not ok with it and their choice is to stay elsewhere or not see the baby. Girl, you deserve to have your peace when you get home… It’s honestly the hardest transition my husband and I have ever had.
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Stick to your guns for sure, I couldn’t even imagine what recovering from birth would be like around strangers, especially as a ftm
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I’d compromise and just have his mom visit. The boyfriend and his little sister can visit after a few weeks but I would definitely not have them stay. Having some help will definitely come in handy. Good luck.
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not selfish, postpartum is a time for bonding and adjusting with your new baby and rebirthing yourself as a mother.
I think it’s more selfish to make a new mother uncomfortable especially in her own home 
I read a good book called the fourth trimester which helped me with boundaries during this time! good luck mama
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It’s not like she’s asking to live with you , or even be in the birthing room with you … I feel like this is just being selfish tbh 
I could never - and my partner I don’t think would like me very much if I did 
neither would his mum #JustBeingHonest
Alsoooo - if your mum is around . Put yourself in his shoes . Your mum lives out of town - only sees you when they can & now you have a chance for her to finally stay with you and your family & your partner turns around and says they’re not welcome to stay …
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If you’re not comfortable, the baby won’t be. He needs to respect your wishes, especially being a first time mom…& honestly if they aren’t trying to communicate or get to know you, I’m sure they would prefer to stay elsewhere as well. But it’s a give & take.
Just have the mom & sister visit. To try and compromise.
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Stick to your guns!!!
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The last thing you need after having a baby is visitors.
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If it was me, he can be with his mom and sister …I’d go stay with my mom AND THE BABY would be with me.
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Honestly nothing worse when you sore tired bleeding and leaking while trying to bond with a tiny crying leaking wee human.
If you have people there you won’t rest you may not always get the bathroom when you need it and if your trying to breastfeed then you don’t want near strangers watching while your learning.
Tell them they can stay elsewhere or you will go stay elsewhere.
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If you aren’t comfortable then ask them to stay somewhere else. Your comfort matter most right now during the pregnancy! You don’t want to stress you or your baby out
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You are entirely in the right to tell them to make other arrangement and schedule visiting times. The fact that he would even think about expecting that is obsurd. Definitely set aside time for them but not overnights & in short bursts. Your hormones will be insane and you need time to bond and rest! Not entertain!
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I’d put me foot down. It’s not unreasonable and they will get over it.
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I’d ask them to make other arrangements. And anyone that is upset with it can birth a child and be working through recovery and no sleep, and then have a say in it. It’s a hard and stressful time and you deserve to feel as relaxed and comfortable as you can in your own home. You’re not saying they can’t visit, just that they can’t stay with you and that’s reasonable. Especially for the size of your apartment.
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Try it, if it doesn’t work tell them to LEAVEEEE lol
It’s ok for them to visit you and the new baby at the hospital after delivery. A new baby needs time to acclimate to the outside world and you need time to get in tune with each other. There are too many illnesses that could affect your child at that stage-plan a big party or a christening when the baby is a couple of months old.
Stick to your guns girl.
Stick to your guns you dont need the extra stress maybe they can arrange some other accommodation and visit you, you don’t want lots of ppl holding or breathing on bub as is can make them very sick you’ll also need some down time for yourself and bub to rest and bond
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Stick to your guns. I don’t agree with most post this page post but this, 100%
As someone who suffers from anxiety, house guests are something I can’t handle. My bf’s sister came to visit after my daughter was born, she didn’t stay with us but the visit was all about her. I was expected to cook lunch for her and her kids, they weren’t there to help. A baby shower was planned and it was hell. I was still healing from a c section, hormonal and expected to be ok with people I didn’t know passing my newborn around. Honestly, my daughter is almost 7 and we haven’t seen them since.
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Stick to your guns, there’s other times they can stay/visit but you don’t need additional stress after you’ve just had a baby Xxx
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They need to make other arrangements. You’re the one having the baby and doing all the work in caring for it. It’s your decision. You need privacy and time with YOUR baby.
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That first week is HARD! You will be trying to figure out nursing, sore, tired… i have done with and without family and they both have their perks BUT It was my parents & sister who were here and they were helping with the older 2 because baby was born and kids still had school. It really gave me time to stay in bed, nurse and bond. If his mom is coming to wait on you hand and foot and allow you to enjoy the transition into motherhood then I say go for it. If not, they can wait a week or two before they come visit.
Its tough but thats his mother. He knows her. So what if you guys havent warmed up to eachother yet. Ya know? Regardless everybody wants to help and visit their parents.
Ok so similar situation. My man and i dont like having company. Honestly i dont like it much when my own mother comes over but i much rather have my mom here that her bf too.
Just today her boyfriend asked if they could come stay a couple days.
We have kids we both work. Saying she misses her grandkids which is totally fine. But why does he have to come?
In some situations it is normal.
But if my man straight told me no my mother couldn’t stay with us. I would have serious questionable thoughts.
You dont want to create these problems they escalate. An make bitterness.
I can see it in my mans face that hes not totally comfortable when my mom comes over. Were not used to it and its the same way for me when its his mom.
The thing about love is riding out your feelings for the happiness of the person you love. So i appreciate that hes willing to sacrafice a weekend with just us. When my mom does come over.
It shows how much he cares even tho its not what were used to.
An its really a beautiful kind loving thing to do.
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You need time to heal and bond with baby . Tell them to make other plans .
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Make other arrangements 
stick to your guns!
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Have them stay somewhere else!! Recovery is hard after birth whether it’s your first or your 4th !! Your emotions will be all over the place and if your breastfeeding it’s a very revealing process those first few days and weeks , your sore and trying to find the best way for you and baby to be comfortable and I know for myself I went without a shirt for a couple days when we first got home and was only in my bra because my hormones had me feeling like I was on fire !! And not to mention the bathroom … all the pads and everything that goes along with that after care … it’s just not going to be a very inviting stay for them because of everything and hopefully your boyfriend will understand before you ever leave the hospital how tired you both will be and not up to entertaining guests !!
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They need to stay elsewhere if you don’t feel comfortable there. End of story.
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I always had my mum , my mother in law, my sister etc come stay with me . I would work it out as one leaves the next one comes. I loved it , what I found is that they didn’t take away your bonding time , they helped with chores and housework and cooking etc and actually gave me more time with the baby. I also bottlefed so I would do the last feed early at night and go straight to bed , they would do the next one , leaving me only having to get up once during the night . So I always got more sleep as well. This could be a real bonding moment for you and his family as well.
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Your body your baby your moment. No one comes before you and your babys comfort.
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Your not wrong at all, tell them to go before it causes problems for you and your man
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This is you, baby and baby daddy’s time to bond. He should have discussed it with you before any plans were ever made. You need to set boundaries in your relationship from the get go, I’m sure he would have wanted you to discuss it with him if the tables were turned. And to top it all off, you cannot have all those people near a newborn.
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A new baby and healing from giving birth is stressful enough without people who are going to disrespect you in your own house. You aren’t selfish for not wanting them there because the mother especially seems really disrespectful. Stick to your guns, keep them away from the house if you can. If you can’t, then hopefully you have friends or family you can go to that won’t try to disrespect you.
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Actually it’s incredibly inconsiderate of them to even think this is an option.
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I can actually understand both sides
Fuck that your the pregnant one labor is messy and demoralizing after yiu bleed for 2 mf months straight you want to have your baby and your home
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Okay, everyone saying that it’s his baby, too, which is true… But, honestly, I would be annoyed af.
If I’m a FTM, I’d want to take that time strictly for me to bond with my baby (and S/O as a family). That’s just me, though. I don’t like people invading my personal space, especially after a baby.
I’d let them visit, but they wouldn’t be staying at my place.
Edit: And if my S/O knows I don’t feel comfortable, then I wouldn’t expect him to be pushy about it, because I would respect his wishes, too, if it were the other way around.
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No, they need to reschedule
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Have them stay somewhere eles he is being selfish how u all gunna fit and a newborn baby is hard enough let alone that stress
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Id take the help. The first weeks hard. Be grateful she will be there. Be careful boys will always pick their moms. If you dont try to build a relationship with her you’ll be a single mom in a year.
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Put your foot down. If it is his first then your husband may not realise the physical and mental recovery required after labour. In that first week or so you need to feel safe and comfortable, you do not need an audience. If he refuses to listen to your fears then I would get as many supplies ready as I could and lock myself in the bedroom away from them for 99% of that first week!
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All I want to know is what is the reason for them staying?
Also have they ever been rude to you?
I was lucky enough for my mom to take care of me for the first two months. She cooked and washed for me. If they are not going to help you with self care then dont do it
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Stick to your guns!!!
You need to be comfortable for the baby to be comfortable. If they don’t respect your wishes you could trap yourself in your room so they can see the baby and you can have your time to be you and baby as it should.
I wouldn’t want to have to care for others when I’m trying to heal and learn my babies needs and life with a newborn. They can visit for a day or in a few months possibly stay but not right away
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Not selfish at all! That’s too many people in too small of space. Esp since a brand new baby will be there! Babes needs to get adjusted to you guys and the smells of the apt. Not adding 3 bodies to that. Your man can get over it and will thank you when they’re not there while sleep deprived w a baby. Congrats and good luck!
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Hell NO! They need to reschedule their visit and he needs to be considerate of your wishes and needs during this time. If he doesn’t like it he can totally get over it! This is a sensitive time that is about you baby and dad bonding and healing. I didn’t allow visitors for over a week other than family and they were considerate enough to not stay over an hour.
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Stick to your guns, he isn’t giving birth, you are. It takes a lot out of you.
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Stick to your guns. He’s being selfish and manipulative. If he pushes the issue, I’d say I’m not going to be there if they are. I’m not trying to hear about how that’s his family. You’re his family now & you & the baby should be the top priority
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I feel you girl…I myself don’t like no one to stay in my home…I was raped at the age of 8 and I’ve never felt safe nor comfortable people staying at my home…IDC if its family or close friends…I fear for my children…I know you may not be in the same situation or been close to the same situation I been through but I get you…you don’t really feel they should stay since you don’t know them very well…in my humble opinion I believe your boyfriend should respect your decision…I remember having relatives coming in and out of my home and telling me how to handle my child because they were so called mother experts…HA!!!..no female is or was ever a perfect mother to their first child…everyone makes mistakes…trust me no bueno for them to stay because believe me girl they going to be on you like a hawk…
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I had my mom stay with me when I had my second child, my husband works days and I’d be up all night with my daughter, she stayed with us for 2 months I loved the help and so did my husband. I also had a 4yr old son. There 21 and 17 now
Stick to your guns, it crazy that they even thought that was ok.
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Oh hell no. You stand up for yourself. His behavior is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE.
Call and talk to her directly. Tell HER your concern and tell her directly your concern since he obviously doesnt get it.
Mother to mother…if she is a real mother she will understand completely.
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I would ask them how long are they able to stay?! Look she’s the grandma and she’s gonna get her love in while you get to sleep lol
Could be a huge blessing!!
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My opinion from just having gone through this. It was very uncomfortable having people over after just giving birth. Let alone my boyfriends mom and brother stayed with us the following weekend after I gave birth. And they stayed for the whole weekend. While it was uncomfortable and I would have rather not had people there. It was also nice because the first week was hell. I got literally no sleep. So having the help was very nice and I got to sleep and take naps while his mom watched the baby. And it actually did bring the family closer during that time. So I’d say if you’re uncomfortable. Tell him. Be honest with him and stick to how you feel because yes it is your time and you need this time for you. But also be open minded. Because his family could be there and could actually be very helpful and it could be a good bonding experience for everyone. So there’s kind of some good that could potentially come out of it. And don’t be afraid to speak how you feel even if you decide to let his family stay over and then it becomes uncomfortable later or they don’t help and they’re more in the way speak up about it and tell him. Or even tell them how you feel. Don’t ever be afraid to say how you feel that’s most important. Your emotions matter before anyone else’s you’re the one who’s going to be going through so much during this time. You come first.
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No way in hell!! Frankly your mother in law has been in your shoes as she is a mom herself. Even if bf is just naive She knows EXACTLY what she is doing!! Do NOT let her walk all over you because it will just get worse. By only speaking to her son about pregnancy just says it all. Guaranteed she will overstep once the baby is here. You need to stand up for yourself now. They can stay in a hotel… plus your a first time mom. That’s just crazy !! If he wants his mom so bad he can stay in the hotel also.
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They should stay in a hotel. That would give you some space and would be a middle ground.
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You are having a baby so these people will be some part of your life for the rest of your life you can either suck it up and put the effort to get to know them and hopefully make friends or you can set the tone for the rest of you relations ship with them by sending the message they are not welcome think about their feeling along with your boyfriends. I’m not saying your being selfish Im just saying to think about how you want your relationship with them to be.
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Wow sounds like you both have alot of issues to work threw. Should have thought about all this before starting a family. If you cant talk to him not it will never work out
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Um, No ma’am he’s being the selfish one. His mom, being a mom should know better than that also.
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Stick to your guns. The baby is coming out of you. Make yourself and your wishes known! I literally just wrote a huge novel about this on my personal wall. I got post partum depression really bad after my daughter because I wasn’t listened to!
Not selfish at all. That’s selfish of him to not consider your feelings and what you’re about to go through!
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You are NOT selfish! It’s hard enough without people (almost strangers) around you. You need time to adjust to a whole new level at life… He’s gotta man up and support you!
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Always stick too your gut feeling/instincts or you’ll wish you did!
I see a few issues with this scenario… 1. Given the partners family dont communicate with you but rather thru ur partner is a red flag for having them spending such a time in ur home. 2. Is ur partner going to be there the whole time or is he leaving u to deal with these people and a baby. 3. If u do allow them to stay make it clear to ur partner if they overstep or it gets too uncomfortable for you they hafta go. 4. What is the purpose of their stay? Are they there to help u and ur partner with domestic duties while u settle in with bub or are they planning on making everything about just their son and the baby? Id be making it clear u will be spending quality time with baby and ur partner with baby and u dont need nor want them taking over with the baby stuff like feeding bathing and nappy changes. Ur having a baby, not a play thing that can be passed from pillar to post. Its your home and your rules need to be respected. Hopefully their dates are set in stone that theyl visit and bub doesnt come to their party so it becomes a non issue. Good luck mumma
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No, no, no, no, no!
I would need my privacy at this time.
When I had my daughter and I was first time mom it was a lot to take in! Having a baby and all the healing and emotions. You do not need to worry about pleasing and worrying about others. You need to heal and adjust to your newborn. He is wrong but he is a man so he doesn’t understand. Let him know you want time alone with him and the newborn and need time to get back to yourself. They can visit or reschedule. I remember having my daughters fathers whole family visit and it was a week after I had her and I absolutely hated it!!! I couldn’t handle it at all! They wanted to hold my baby and stuff I just wasn’t comfortable. Its different when it’s your first baby and your just learning all these emotions. If he don’t like it then don’t deal with it
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You need to speak up now, you also have to be ‘selfish’ if that means looking after yours and your babies interest. You will have midwives and health visitors around talking about personal things. This is a time of bonding and peace between the three of you. You do need to speak up but also do not be bullied into doing something your not comfortable with
Stick with your instincts.
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Stick to your guns. Your feelings are valid. A good compromise is to have them visit & see the new baby but that’s as far as I would go. Don’t let these ppl make you uncomfortable or ruin the 1st week home with baby. He needs to respect your boundaries.
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I would pack my bags and get a hotel room.
From your post. Your bf dont care about u or your feelings or the safety of your child. Sounds like time to move on to a real man not a little boy who still needs mommy
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No he’s the one being selfish your the one having the baby and need a peaceful and stress free recovery .
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Sounds to me he is being selfish putting you in a situation where you are uncomfortable and refusing to acknowledge your feelings. How you feel is how you feel and is definitely normal . Let him pout and be upset. If he can’t let you heal and bond properly with your new baby he needs to find other accommodations too and be with his family. You can have the peace and quiet that you and your new baby will need. 
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I would say you don’t feel comfortable with people around
Mama’s boy needs to man up and put you first! Go ahead and advise them of need to make other plans,you owe no one your health and well being
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Stick to your guns momma! This will be harder for you than any one else, and you need to feel comfortable in your home with your new baby!
Create a boundary…let the mom in law know if you need her help then you will let them know. And then kindly decline their ‘help’ at this time and say thank you
You didn’t just marry your husband, you’re marrying this man and he comes with family just like you do. Maybe his mother feels like she will be some help to you and can bond with you during this nurturing time. Give her a chance and if it’s too many people or too over whelming then ask them to give some space.
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Stick to your guns that first week is important and you don’t want thm all over the baby as it will make it harder for u am 36weeks and my partner is the same with his lot I havnt even met hi Mams husband and thy think there coming the hospital stuff lucky for me thow I already have 2 girls so I know how am goner be with this little one and a know how a go with baby’s and all thow am 27 and keep my mouth shut when it comes to my baby’s am not so a know thy will be fire works but use woman need to stand out grounds gd luck xxx
They can make arrangements