You sound weird 
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Her opinion is just as valid as yours. Would you rather her be with a man with kids and want nothing to do with the kids? At least she is open about how she feels about it and thats her proactive.
I would not change my “blended family” for anything in this world. I have two of the most amazing and wonderful step sons i could ever possibly ask for. I can’t imagine a life without them in it. And thier little sister loves them with all her heart.
How disrespectful to the ones of us that have a blended family and love it. We r not second best to anything or anyone
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All of my siblings are half or step, but I love each and every one of them. And my daughter’s step father is the best thing that ever happened to her.
Blended families are great, more people to love and care for you, and the children in my eyes
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You’re in the middle of a nasty divorce, why would you even be thinking about a blended family right now. Get through your divorce, be alone for a while, and if ready, reevaluate your feelings. I’m remarried and have a blended family, it’s wonderful! However, that should not be what is on your mind right now.
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Blended families are just as beautiful. I grew up in a blended family. I have a blended family. My children love their step dad. He had no previous children but he stepped up to the plate and loves them just as much as he loves our brand new baby. My step dad has never treated me any different from his biological child. But it sounds to me like you aren’t really open to loving other children or having someone else love your children.
I used to think the same thing when my mom and dad got a divorce. So much so that my mom felt that what my brothers and I were saying were right so she never moved on. We are all now older and moved out with our own family and kids and she’s alone. She never moved on and now she’s alone and we try and visit as much as we can but I feel so guilty for doing that. I wish we would have made it easier for her and let her move on and find love again. She deserved it 
.
I highly suggest listening to co parenting past chaos. I’m with my kids dad’s but love the podcast. They talk about what they went through and how amazing it is to now have blended families that get along and are happy. Having step parents or step siblings isn’t second best. It could also be extremely helpful on helping you learn to coparent and realize that co parenting and not hating each other will allow your children to thrive with the new life they will have.
No family is second best. But ya with this mindset stay single and make sure ya stay away from single dads.
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The proper way? So stay single and alone forever. Your problem is solved however I would keep your close mindedness to yourself and not around your children.
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Idk how old your daughter is but when i was about 7 or 8 after being an only child with a single mom my mom moved on of course and yes it was challenging to learn how to share and be around other kids but in the end It’s the only family I have and I’m happy to have had this one even if it’s not old school or the right way ig
Honestly it can go either way.
My dad divorced my birth mom when I was a few years old.
He met someone with kids, she wanted him “to get to know her kids without me around so he could bond with them”
When i was finally allowed to come around I was treated like Cinderella. My dad would go to work and everyone including my step mom would treat me like shit. I was mentally and physically abused. I grew up around those people during my formative years and it fucked me up. I’m well into adulthood and I have so much fucking trauma from that shit that if I ever left my husband, I would NEVER EVER EVER EVER get with someone who had kids. I just could never risk that shit happening to my babies.
Now that’s not to say there aren’t wonderful people who have wonderful kids and their families are better off being a mixed up jungle of love and support! I just have my own baggage about it.
My dad remarried a WONDERFUL woman who was everything I wish my first step mom was. My life would be VERY different.
So I’m going to offer perspective from all angles. It sounds like you haven’t completely let go of your marriage, and often times your feelings are going to be based on your current circumstances. Blended families are complicated. Some are stressful and some are peaceful. No two work the same. I grew up in a blended family. My parents divorced at 13, my mother moved on and began a relationship when I was 17. Her fiancé had a daughter about 6 years younger then I which was the same age as my sister. Parenting her was very difficult for my mother and she never really embraced being a step-mother. I got along great with him but being older he really didn’t have to “parent me”. Regardless there relationship ended because of the stressers accompanied from blending. My father never moved on, he never even had a girlfriend. I’m almost 40, I have children of my own and a busy life, he’s alone for the most part and it bothers me a great deal. I know he certainly must be lonely more times then not and I wish he had someone to share good moments in life with. I have my own blended family we have 3 children and 3 other biological parents to contend with. The hurdles are plentiful for sure but I couldn’t imagine life without any of them now.
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You’re in the middle of a divorce. Stop worrying about what might happen in the future and give yourself some time to relieve the pressure and stress of your situation.
wow. this was just an awful thing to read. but if you don’t want your kid to have a step dad or step siblings on your side, don’t complain and make it absolute hell when your soon to be ex husband finds someone else. Don’t be that type of woman.
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You’re kind of being super petty & b*tchy about it. Theres nothing wrong with a blended family, sometimes things just dont work out & it happens. Get through your divorce & reevaluate then.
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Families come in many different ways saying that a blended family is 2nd best or not the proper way is crappy of you to say. My SIL has two wonderful step kids and a bio son and her step sons are wonderful big bothers and she loves them as much as her bio son. I have a 1/2 sister and she isn’t any less my sister then my full sister. Blended families can be beautiful just like foster families and adoption families.
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Wtf, this has got to be a joke? Please stay single!
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WTH did I just…never mind
Blended families are what you make them. Just saying.
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One day you shall see the light and want someone to stroke your boude girl:face_with_hand_over_mouth:right now your dealing with emotions and don’t worry you’ll be okay, but if you wanna be on your own forever it’s okay!just be careful of how you say things as most of us are ‘blended’ and 100 times more happy then with the original family 
if that makes sense
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So what your saying is you don’t want a man if he’s already got kids? That’s my interpretation of your stupid post.
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“The proper way”? What is that? I remember before my parents were divorced. My dad was horrible. Abusive. Got addicted to drugs. Lost everything. Cared more about getting high than his own kids. It was a miserable childhood.
Then, my mom met my pops. My stepdad (although, I refer to him as my dad). Nothing but love and protection and respect and all of the things a father is SUPPOSED to provide.
The proper way is whatever is best for you and your child. If that’s being single, cool. If that’s finding and marrying the love of your life, awesome. You sound very degrading. I don’t like it.
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I am in the same boat. I dont believe in people or love anymore and step parents freak me out. It might change because life changes but I would just do you girl
Far be it for me to judge, i ll give you my opinion though,blended family as you call it, can be great if you, can work through any issues without name slinging or taking sides just because you are not there biological parent does not mean you cannot show them all the love in the world,as a provider i dislike the words step or half as they make the child feel less than equal, but when love comes round again your view may be different but if not don t pretend,good luck with your future and most of all enjoy it
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Wow. I mean you’re going through alot but to say it’s ‘the right way’ and kinda call the ones that have a blended family trash is a an awful bold statement to make. You’re obviously hurting because of going through a divorce but no need to spread your hurt around. Go to therapy and get happy. Divorces happen, it might seem like it’s the worst thing to go through but maybe you’ll look back on it and call it a blessing 
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I just feel sorry for you. You seem very bitter.
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Most people don’t dream of having a blended family. The dream of falling in love, getting married and having children.
But guess what? The world isn’t perfect, people are not perfect and sometimes divorce happens. Sometimes having a child/ren without being married happens.
Blended family can be a beautiful thing. More people to love your children.
If you feel so strongly about how “bad” a blended family can be, well then you better never date or have sex again.
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The first time I read this, I was like what in the hell did I just read. So I read it again. You’re clearly hurting/angry about the divorce, which can be EXTREMELY understandable, we don’t know the terms or reasoning behind that, and we don’t need to. You don’t need to worry about blended families right now either. You worry and you and your child. You may change your mind once the dust settles, you may not. But that’s on you, and it’s nobodies business whether or not you want to be involved with anyone else again. If you truly don’t like the thought of a blended family, then don’t have one yourself. Stay single and learn from yourself and what you want in life for your child and for yourself, everything else will fall into place when it’s meant to be whether that be with a new family or not.
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I have 3 kids by 3 men…theres no half anything and all my kids dads treat all of my children very well…if you want to die miserable and alone I suppose that’s your decision…
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Wow, in 2020 and such an awful thing to read. Blended families are not second best they are just the same but instead of being made up of only biology and blood they actully want to love each other. The thing I’d blood is thicker than water is complete old age thinking. Welcome to 2020 where all families are beautiful and loving regardless of how they are made up. Open ur eyes and ears and maybe learn some things about blended families so much love involved so try not to be so degrading in future please
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There’s nothing wrong with a blended family. I’m confused as to why you think it’s “suffering?” Obviously you’d choose someone compatible so it’s not like you’re forcing them to live with a demon.
The more people that love her the better. I don’t see how that’s a problem. A blended family isn’t bad. I mean if you never want to get married or have any more kids for that reason that’s on you.
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I also didn’t want to remarry. Maybe because of how my step mother treated me. i had fun, My kids never knew half the men I went out with, which was fine, I figured if I do find the right one when when my kids are grown up, if I wanted to get remarried, I would, Never really found the right one & that’s OK, I left my husband when I was 20 yrs old with 2 babies, went back to school, & did everything I ever wanted to do when I was a little girl, And that was to be a hairdresser & a RN, & I did both I just retired as a RN after 33 yrs 
Brought my first home over 21 yrs ago & just brought my retirement home in another state & loving it No one needs a man to be or do whatever they want, They can do it all by themselves. Yes it was hard at times, but well worth it. So live your life & do what is best for you & your child & live life to the fullest If your daughter’s father is good to her, yes, let her be with him. If he gets remarried & has more kids, they are you daughter’s siblings & that also might be a good thing for her. My kids loved their father’s kids, & their mother, He was the problem Not them
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Wow! A blended family is the best thing could have ever happened to me! I have 4 sisters thanks to a blended family! Calling a blended family second best… I can’t even put into word how ignorant you sound!
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To each their own, but my Blended family is WAY better then the “proper family” as you put it ever was. This man not only cherishes me, but he cherishes the boys I came with when we met. He treats them like his very own kids, cares about their schooling and mentality more then their “father” has ever shown. He helps them grow, and because of our blended family, my children are so much better off.
They get an example of a healthy relationship. When what I had with their father was far from healthy.
You’re in the middle of a divorce. And while you’re opinion on blended families being only “second best” may never change, I can definitely guarantee you that it’s not going to change while you’re going through turmoil. Take 1 process at a time. Good luck
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I’m part of a blended family! I wouldn’t have a dad without one. #daddysgirl I thank God my mom married my daddy.
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I have 2 kids by 2 different men and am married to a 3rd man. My kids are just fine I promise you that lol. They have step mom’s from their dads and a step dad from me and they’re thriving and perfectly content with their life. You sound very bitter about your divorce and might want to look into seeing someone to help you with those feelings.
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You are still hurting very bad. Give it time and I’m sure the right person can change things for you. Best of luck!
My blended family is not second best… it IS the best. 
open your eyes. It’s 2020.
Can you imagine dying alone??? Being alone for the rest of your life, not having that life partner you can count on???
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I love my blended family. I grew up with a step father and step mother. My kids now that me and their father have been divorced for almost 10 years have an amazing step father and step brothers. Take your time on your healing. But dont knock everything until you give it a chance
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Nobody plans to have a blended family. It happens. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And I grew up in a blended family. Don’t be so close minded
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You obviously just going through a lot of hurt with the divorce, I think everyone’s first thought is I don’t ever want to marry someone again. Would be interesting to see where you are in 10 year. One day you’ll hurt less and want to feel love again. Some people chose to stay single and some chose a blended family. But my opinion, don’t think about the future now rather focus on healing and looking after your daughter.
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I have a blended family. My husband and I each brought two children into OUR family. They are OUR children regardless of biology. We are very blessed to have the opportunity to give our kids this lifestyle
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Blended families are incredible, and be realistic in 2020 it is more common than “proper blood”. I never could understand why more love around children is so bad? I know my kids will have a step mom some day, potential siblings. As long as they’re loved and happy what else matters. & I love my boyfriends son the same as mine, my little bonus baby:heart:
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I pray that you heal
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Technically I’m from a blended family my mum had my two sisters my dad had my two brothers and my mum and dad had me and my sister, and I have never once thought of them as anything but my full siblings, I would be 100% lost without each and every one of them, I’ve then had a baby with one man and it didn’t work out and went on to have 2 more children with my partner and again its never looked at as anything other than full siblings x
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Umm? Wtf did I just read!? I don’t know what I would’ve done if it weren’t for my step dad. He is an amazing father to me. I have a half sister from my bio dad and I don’t even think of her as a half sister, she’s my sister plain and simple. I don’t know why you wouldn’t want you child to have more siblings…if you want more kids and find the right man great have more!! If your ex does the same,great! That is more people to love your child. Blended families aren’t what your trying to make them out to be…you sound like you are being petty and unreasonable. Not sure if you are angry because your going through a split or what but I am telling you there’s not a damn thing wrong with blended families! Your daughter wouldn’t have to “put up” with a step parent, she would be loved by them and cared by them. You need to re-evaluate your out look in understanding co parenting and blended families.
Your feeling this way because your going through a divorce. Maybe you’ll change your mind if you find someone else, whenever it is, and you both really love and care for eachother. It won’t feel any kind of way if you would have another baby, it’s basically just your own kids. I don’t go around saying this is my daughters half brother or half sister… those are ALL my kids they are brother and sister they came out of me. It don’t effect the kids my daughter loves her brother and sister. And if the dad moves on it won’t make any difference either with the brothers and sisters etc. If your not comfortable right now then don’t do it. But I’m just saying it’s not what your thinking. It only benefits you and ur daughter and grows ur family.
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That’s a horrible way to look at your situation. Our family is blended and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I had my son at 18 and was in a horrible relationship with his father. I never thought I would find my happy ending. Thankfully God’s plan was to give me a husband and two more children. Before I got married I was in a relationship with someone I thought was the one I was going to spend my life with- he stepped up as a father figure for my son. Sadly he couldn’t get over the fact that I already had a child with someone else and wanted to experience that for the first time with someone. Broke mine and my son’s heart into a million pieces.
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Oh god fuck off
You dont deserve a family with that view on things. I feel kinda sad for you daughter growing up and possible will share your view on what a “family” is supposed to be…
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my husband is from a blended family…i love it!!! i married into brothers and sisters me being an only child…i have nieces and nephews galore!!!
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Girl I understand pain sucks, loss sucks but that attitude will get you no where!
When one door closes another door opens! Something bigger and better is coming your way!
Just have faith God is leading you in the path he needs you in!
Hope everything gets better!
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Your feelings will change. After a few years with my step kids they finally came out to me and said they didn’t really care for me but wanted their dad to be happy. Lol. kids will be honest. And they definitely said their dad was happier. Oh and I was like a bonus parent to them… 🤷 He was a very hurt and angry man when he was alone and that affected his kids more. Not saying he needed anyone but holding on to anger shows. If your happiest alone then make sure your daughter knows that. Good luck.
Your feelings may change or they may not. Either way, it’s your personal choice
Hey at least she knows what she wants and doesn’t want I had a horrible step mom growing up . I wish she had realized she didn’t want a blended family . I love my blended family but some people don’t feel the same way and it’s good OP realizes that before entering one.
Seriously… please stay single.
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I used the feel the same way long ago…before divorce and meeting my second husband and having the most AMAZING blended family. Its your choice. But from someone who’s been there…I wouldn’t have it any other way now.
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Interesting view… I grew up in a blended family and it wasn’t the greatest at all. However, in the same regard my husband also is from a blended family he will tell you he is lucky he has 2 mothers 2 fathers and 2 more siblings. Blood wise there are 4 he counts his “step” as full siblings if you ask him he is one of 6 kids. I guess it depends on the person and the partner and how they choose to raise the family it all boils down to “the choices YOU make” as with anything you do it all boils down to what behaviors you allow. I have seen both sides of a blended family, it can be a wonderful thing if you nurture it to be
You’re just upset. You will feel differently later on. Until then, stat single and work on yourself because you have a very negative view of something so common and normal.
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“proper way” is whatever provides love and the necessary attention for your kids and family to grow and feel loved.
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How dare you call us second best you sound bitter
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My family is blended best thing ever and you will change right now you are just going through a divorce and there is nothing second best about us
I hope you find peace for that hatefulness you’re clearly showing, and I really do hope this is coming from a place of pain considering you’re going through a divorce. And I really honestly hope you heal from this and I’m sure you will and maybe your views on blended families will change.
And if not then that’s your personal choice, be single forever or don’t have more kids with whomever you do end up with but then your kid will still have a stepdad and then boom. Blended family. 🤷
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You are just going through a lot right now. Take the time you and your child need right now. I was a single mom after my divorce for about 7 years. I focused on getting myself together and making sure my daughter was taken care of. Her dad was remarried 2 yrs later. Fortunately she has a good step mom. I’ve been remarried now for almost 5 yrs. it was huge adjustment for us both after it being just us for so long. My husband says we have secrets lol. He’s been good to my daughter but he had never been married before so he don’t understand having an ex to deal with, we get along good for the most part and let each other know if something serious is going on like with our health and such. My husband and I have two daughters together, 2.5 and 3.5. It’s been a huge transition for my oldest daughter with all the changes and we do miss the things we used to do just us. But I don’t feel like she’s suffered at all. She has a nice car that my husband helped her get. She’s 17 now, has a job and will be graduating early this year and starting college next year. She has a life planned out for her that won’t always include me so I’ve done my part getting her ready for that.
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A blended family is better then no family!!!
I guess I understand. Me and my bd were together for 8 years with 2 kids. I always wanted to make it work because that’s the “American dream” right? To be with your child’s father and have a family only with them. But sometimes things don’t work out like that. I am currently in a relationship with someone who has 2 kids of his own and we blend just fine. I was sceptical but it worked out for the best. My boys still see their father every other week and we do great co-parenting 
give it a chance
I grew up in a blended family I have a older half sis on my moms side and on my dads side I have a older step sister and 2 older step brothers
I am in a blended family now my fiance has 4 kids from his 1st marriage i have 1 kid from my first marriage and then we have 4 kids together
You sound like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum:joy: “if I can’t have what I want, then I’ll have nothing!” Ok, have nothing then 
and why are people so hell bent on ‘the right way’? It’s 2020, get with the times:woman_facepalming:t2:
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I’ve got 4 kids. 2 of them from prior relationships and 2 from my marriage now. My oldest son couldn’t be happier with his stepdad(who gives him time unlike his bio) and his 2 little sisters and little brother.
My husband and I both are from blended families and I have a child from a previous relationship… we have a son. It does not change how he feels about the boy that isn’t “his” and my oldest has an awesome bonus mom. If you go into it thinking it’ll be horrible then it will. Before anything you need to work on yourself. My children are 8 years apart and absolutely love each other. My oldest also has a sister through his dad. I have several “half” siblings and they are my siblings regardless. My husband is the same way. It took a long time to be okay with having another child and not worrying about the out come.
Maybe your feelings will change once things get settled and either way will be okay as long as your child knows they are loved by their parents. Good luck!
feelings may be hanged once settled. a blended family just gives your.children more people who love them and.more support. always stay positive
That’s a horrible way to look at things but I think it’s just because you are going through a divorce and you just loss what your idea of a family just ended. So I’m sorry that happened but it can be better with the right spouse… I had a picture perfect way I wanted my life and then my sons father left me after 9 yrs. But now i have my bf who we plan on marrying and i have two great step kids and my son who was an only child now has siblings on both sides. So it ended up working out…
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Girl it’s 2020 most families are blended. You probably have some emotional attachment to your child’s father (understandably so) and that’s making it harder to move on, but that will pass with time. One day I pray you see the bigger picture, and that regardless of if the family is blended or not - the more people that love your child and are involved in making their lives a better place and shaping them into good individuals is most important. 
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2nd best!!! Are you serious. There’s no wrong way to have a family!
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This is literally horrible.
Its not suffering in my opinion, especially if you find someone you “click” with. But obviously you can’t rush these things, it takes time to get to that point on a personal level let alone add others to your life. Maybe one day you’ll have a different view. For now work on you and what you have now.
My son would disagree with you! My family is def not second best! He loves his sister at our place & his brother at his dads. & they are NOT step siblings!! Their siblings thats it! He also loves having my husband & his step mom. If someone loves your child like their own idk why you would think thats not good enough
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I have 3 kids from my 1st marriage and 3 from my current and forever marriage. We are all as close as I could ever ask for, including ex. It’s about maturity and making the best life for the kids not your ego.
Theres no such thing as “blended family” theres simply just FAMILY😘
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I can see why your divorce is so nasty. I’m guessing you’re the one making it that way.
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I am part of a blended family. My step dad is more of a father to me then my real dad. I have seen for 11 years what its like for a child to not have a father its better to have a step dad then no dad. If this is your mind set then stay single, let their dad find love so that way they have extra love to receive.
I agree with you. Xx
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No one goes into parenthood wanting to raise their children from a broken home.
But you deal with the reality that it does happen.
And if you don’t want a blended family, Then don’t have one. Stay single, and be the best you can be ALONE.
I was single a LONG time after my first divorce, Then I met a wonderful man who was a full time father, I had a child too. And we’re married now, Raising our kids not as “step kids” we just call ourselves a family…
It does get stressful when the other parents are in and out but in the end you do what’s best for your kids…At the end of the day, Raising well adjusted, Capable, loving and compassionate children is all it about single or not.
That’s the wonderful thing about this life…
YOU CHOOSE!
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I hope when your daughter gets a step mom she does not look at your child as second best. Smh. If you dont want a blended family dont have one stay single forever
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Yeah, I get u have this opinion but saying a “blended family is second best” was not cute at all. Whats wrong with a blended family? Seriously, its more people/FAMILY to love, care and support ur child.
The more the merrier, im blessed to have a blended family, my oldest has so many people that love her. Granted ur divorce is nasty, but don’t let it make u bitter and judgmental and never say never. No one knows what the future holds, u could very well have a very happy blended family one day and ur look back at this and know that u were wrong
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Its 2020, most people have blended families… I was born in 1991… and came from a blended family. It never once. Changed my outlook ever.
Although a blended family may not be exactly the way u had it planned it doesnt mean it’s always a bad thing! I wouldn’t have the 4 children that I have if I didnt have a blended family and i wouldn’t change it for anything! It may not be ideal in some cases but you dont have to make it a bad thing my children dont suffer and my oldest 2 have 4 loving parents and extra birthdays and christmases etc…
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You have to be kidding me… no blended family is a second best family! The more people that love your child the better! I can see why you are getting divorced
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If you love someone than you love their children also. You wouldn’t call it a blended family it would just be YOUR FAMILY.
You’ll feel differently once you meet the right person and get to know their child(ren) 
it’s just too fresh and you can’t imagine the future right now!
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I have one kid and have my tubes tied. Also I dont want to be with someone who has kids. I’ve accepted that I’ll probably be single forever.
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Heal from this relationship and then reevaluate how you feel.
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I totally get it. If my man leaves me I will stay single. It’s perfectly fine if you have a blended family but I certainly dont want one, I’d rather be single. Theres nothing wrong with wanting either or tho. It’s all preference.
I see where you are coming from. I’m 28 and have been with my husband since we were 16 and have two kids together. If I ever got divorced I don’t think I would be with anyone else because I feel like that would be to hard on my kids. I may feel differently if that ever did happen (which I pray it won’t) but I understand what you are saying.
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Blended familys can be rough but blended familys can be great as well it’s just what kind of effort you put into it really and if u find a man u love and he has kids u will have to live his kids as well I think u will change your mind maybe one day but I’ll be honest i myself said I would never date someone with kids again …prayers
I have step siblings and a step mother… i consider them no less than blood family… having more people to love you as a child is never a bad thing
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