15 years ago, were not married yet. of course u need to process this but then imo move on since he’s only showed you good in ur 4 yr marriage.
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I’d leave, but that’s me.
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Everyone’s like forget it. Wtf? He cheated and lied about it! And for 15 years at that! Can you imagine who else he cheated on you with? No. Pack your bags and leave. Can’t trust him now.
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Eh, I would feel the emotions ( I’m sure you have many ) but it was 15 years ago: not saying it’s right but it happened and you guys have lived life since. Grow through it together don’t let it eat at you
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15 years ago! You now have agreat marriage & life. Sis, let it go & enjoy your life.
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It is a deal breaker for me, but you do you…
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It depends on the mood he was in, was he angry & trying to hurt you when he confessed or was he overwhelmed with remorse & trying to get it off his chest. Not all alcohol tongues are truthful it depends on the mood of the drunk person during the confession.
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It would be much different if owned up to it and made amends. He is lying and that’s the worrisome part. Sorry your dealing with this 
Yeah I would never be able to trust my partner again and that would be it if he cheated once he definitely cheated again.
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Shit stop being a drama queen.
I’d leave. As I would continue to question everything since then.
Maybe he is just trying to let you know, I personally would tell him thank you for letting me know, is there anything else I need to know or worry about and tell him it’s ok to talk about it, don’t be mad or upset, just get it out and move on, but make sure he knows it will never be tolerated in this present moment.
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A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts. Just saying. Also I dont know how I would feel about that, he has been lying this whole time or keeping this secret. But then again if he has been faithful and true this whole time, then forgive just don’t forget.
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Id be pissed have like 1000 questions not bc he lied 15yrs ago but bc he felt the need to lie about it after confessing…
He lied for 15 years. What a shame. Either forgive him and move on or leave him and move on.
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If ur happy enough stay but make sre hes no more secrets iit could have destroyed ur relationship then but maybe not now good luck in the future
You just love problems
Cheating is cheating and you don’t joke about cheating. They say when you’re drunk you sing the truth and your true feelings. The fact that he’s lying again and saying it’s a joke is what would bother me the most. I’d rather him be honest with me.
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It’s way far in the past, he was far way from home and still a kid. As long as he has been a good husband, father and faithful since then, I’d mark it up to the GI experience and not stew over it. AS long as it hasn’t ever happened again. But I’d make sure he knows it had better never ever happen again.
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If he cheated 5 years in, not worth it to stay but kids definitely complicate things. Idk
Mmm it happened so long ago. You can choose to torture yourself over it or get on with it. I’m not saying it’s okay. But life is too short
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I think you are over reacting a bit. This happened many years ago
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That happened to me ,he even wrote home to me like he was proud.
Of course you have a right to be upset and anyone saying you don’t, REALLY! You got cheated on, doesn’t matter if it was 15 years ago. I would now be wondering what else he’s hiding and how long will he hide THAT for. I’m sorry, this is something you as a person need to figure out.
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The past is gone, the future isn’t here and today is a gift, thats why it is called the present. Take it for what its worth.
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Everyone talking about it being in the past. Because it was 15 years ago. Smfh. If the guy cheated on her like last week, that’s past. But you’d be telling her to leave him. But double standards much?
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You have to have a serious talk with a level head… this lie that he told and is continuing to tell is making all of your relationship feel like a lie now. Because you don’t know what to actually trust. Was the entire thing a lie? Were there others, he is trying to cover up? Has he continued to do these types of things?
This one lie has made all the truth in your relationship feel like lies now. And without him telling the WHOLE truth about everything, no matter how much it’s going to hurt him and you, you’ll never trust anything that you thought was true in your relationship anymore.
So he either needs to come clean about everything he’s done… or you have some heavy soul searching you have to do.
None of us here can tell you what you need to do. This is for you to figure out. But I’d start with searching for the whole truth. And go from there.
If he is worth the opportunity I will not end a relationship over something that happened 15 years ago
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Accidentally slip into it 
that’s a good one
Get over it, move on!
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You are gonna throw away 20 years over something that happened 15 years ago? Don’t let negative bitter people allow you to believe that he’s a good for nothing, from some of the comments I’m reading here. Are you willing to start all over again with someone else ??? Don’t let 15 years ago, destroy what you have now. Communicate with him and sort it out
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I don’t know how I’d feel, TBH! Communicate, tell him just that. You are not sure what to do or even say. It’s a start. Best of luck!
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Some people on here staying for her not to throw away 15 + years for something that happened in the past but excúseme what?? If anything, HE would be the one throwing it away no matter how long ago it was. It could have happened again sometime in between. We need to hold people accountable for their actions
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You have a right to be hurt and upset. For him it happened 15 years ago, so he has moved on from it. For you it’s like it just happened. You haven’t had time to process all of the emotions that come along with, not only finding out you were cheated on, but also in the manner of how it was done. If it weren’t weighing on his mind, than he wouldn’t have said anything. Talk it out and tell him that if he has anything else to tell you, that now would be the time.
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He did what he said he did
If it only happened once, 15 years ago, and he hasn’t cheated again, then you need to work through it. If he told you about it when he was drunk, then it has been bothering him. Think about what you have had and how he has treated you and your children.
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Lmaoo who cares … it was before you … bet he had a great time!
I would let it go. Now if something else comes up later then I’d be concerned.
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Forces personnel deployed far from home in stressful situations for a length of time…im guessing many of them make use of prostitutes. Doubtful they admit it when they eventually return home tbh.
He got drunk and told you. He probably has worried about this since it happened.
Hes a good husband ?
Hes a good Father ?
You have a good relationship?
Hes not given you cause to think he’s cheated at any other time ?
Personally id let it go.
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You weren’t married then. If you are truly happy, forgive and move on
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I don’t think I could let it go, I’d probably leave him. If he can cheat and then lie all this time about it , i would feel so betrayed
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Why ruin what you have now for something so far in the past.
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I would process my feelings and deal with the hurt & would make him discuss it with me. He definitely should had told you sooner, like then. However, he didn’t… I would definitely have a talk about honesty, open communication & explain how it impacted my level of trust, but I would also try and stay more in the now with it… you get along great? I mean it is quite possible that he now is mature and in complete MATURE love with you… that takes growth and time… it’s possible that he needed you to know to remove guilt… if y’all work TOGETHER threw the emotions/feelings… y’all may even end up better, closer, and stronger. I’d be more upset that he took the option of forgiveness off the table that long ago and hid it, but like I said, he told you… I can’t tell you to forgive him or not to forgive him. I can tell you either way your choice is justified and wouldn’t be wrong. Neither way will make you any less of a person. While deciding though- please make sure at NO point in 20 years have you leaned on anyone (man) outside of the relationship-then marriage for sex, or even worse emotional support, and didn’t tell him. Big or small. Sexually or emotionally, bc it’s all the same and hurts the same. Take your time, process it and then make whatever decision is right for you and your family
15 years ago is not worth leaving what you have build . For you and your children it’s one of those situations where you can say I forgive but I don’t forget . As long as he has never gave you reason not to trust him
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You can feel how you feel.
It is new and fresh to you. Even if he’s had 15 years to think about it.
I am so sorry.
Red flag is that he’s going back and saying it didnt happen.
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eww… they call it liquid courage for a reason 
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move on - it was a long time ago - joke or not!
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Sit down and talk with your husband. Explain your feelings, whether it was a joke or not does not matter he still said it. We open and honest with each other about it. As somebody served in the Army Reserves, knowing people who have been reservist and have been full-time, or change the hell out of you. There’s so many things going through your mind and you really don’t know what could’ve happened. It’s best that you and your husband talk it out and work it out. I am not gonna defend someone who does that. That’s why state talk it out because there’s so many things that go on there could be any kind of factors figuring it in. Just talk it out.
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That’s pretty filthy. For me - I’d leave.
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Let that 
go baby……
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It’s probably true. Say what you need to say to him about how you feel personally and whatever feelings you have about prostitution etc. and then just forget about it. It was obviously just a one time stupid mistake and who knows the surrounding circumstances. Glad there weren’t any STD s involved.
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If he was drunk at the time, how in the hell he remember shit from 15 years ago.Ive been drunk and couldn’t remember last night or how my ass i got home.Ask him why did he do that and if he has an answer his ass wasn’t drunk
Of course you have the right to be upset about that. You should also get tested for STDs that may be present without obvious symptoms. If he hasn’t cheated since, I don’t think it’s worth throwing your marriage away. But it’s definitely something he should take accountability for and apologize to you sincerely. And he needs to give you the time to process this new and hurtful information, without rushing you or shaming you
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Take it at face value and move on
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You have every right to feel hurt…. But at the same time it was 15 years ago and he’s been a good man to you…
I would 100% be mad that he’s backtracking and trying to lie to me now though… 
That’s the part that would piss me the fuck off… 
So…15 years ago he had sex?
You definitely have a right to be upset. If he can easily lie to you for 15 years, what else has he lied about? I wouldn’t be able to trust him anymore.
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Long time ago…let go…but long as not happen again!
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Why are you digging up worms let it go
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I’d forgive him but I’d still wanna know why he didn’t confess sooner, probably because of guilt.
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15 years is a long time to carry a mistake and lie. But this is new information for you, so even though this happened a long time ago you need some time to get over the lie and betrayal you feel. Hopefully you can accept that he made a mistake once and that it’s not worth ending what you have had together all this time since you feel you have had a good marriage.
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I promise you, he wouldn’t let it go so easily. it’s obvious bugging you and can’t let it go. do not brush it under the rug or he’ll assume what he did is ok and you had no care for it happening people that say let it go usually like to be blind folded to all the foolishness partners do. But I am not one to be played with to be foold for more than 15 years I’d be livid
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You absolutely have every right to be upset. You guys had been together for 5 years at that point. That’s more than enough time to figure out that you’re in a pretty committed relationship. The fact that he’s held onto that for 15 years makes me question his morals as a husband/partner and would have me questioning what else he’s kept hidden from you. Just because it’s been 15 years for him doesn’t mean that this isn’t brand new information to you. He probably views his actions as ‘in the past’ and somehow ‘in the clear’ because it was so long ago, but for you, it feels like it all just happened recently because he kept a potential deal breaker from you. At this point, if it was me, it would depend how he handled it from this point on. But he seems to not really want to be sincere and take true responsibility due to the fact he tried to brush it off as a damn joke.
What is done is done! Forget it. You have been together for 20 yrs. Let it go
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I let it go if it was that long ago
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Just make sure he still not doing it
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Let it go. He doesn’t want you to be hurt move on he married you not the prostitute. Ladies of the night know what they are used for she never thought of him again and never gave you a thought. So move on and be happy you have a husband.
I’d leave. If you have no honesty aside from when you’re drunk, real trust can’t exist. He’s a cheater, and he lied about it. Do yourself a favor and get out.
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Try these first.
. , . . !
Typed conversation ISN’T ONE SENTENCE.
Take him to take a lie detector test.
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Im pretty sure hes telling the truth I’ve had several army friends and their wives had went through Similar stuff because they get lonely and of course horny out there and it really does mess up relationships. That’s not cool that he kept that from you lied all this time what else is he lying about in my eyes. Theres usually more, I would tell him how you feel and then make him take a lie detector test and if he doesnt do it then make your decision but actually follow through with the test because he can call your bluff
How many other things have happened over the last 20 years you don’t know about?
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It was 15 years ago for Pete’s sake. Move on.
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If you have a good married, now st it go
Not only did he cheat, but the big issue to me is that he lied for 15 years. Even though it was so long ago you cannot tell me he hasn’t thought about this and it didn’t weigh on him. How disturbing and how disgusting. He could have given you an STD.
No advice- just angry for you. Not sure what I would do 
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It was before you were married. Let it go.
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It’s hard as a women to let go of things like that because ones that trust is broken it’s hard to let go and it makes you wonder if there has been other lies.
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Honestly it messes with your head which eventually causes the relationship to fall apart. He wasn’t honest till now because he was drunk when he should have confessed a long time ago. Why hold it for so long knowing how major deal it was/is.
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The backing out of saying it is what would get me the most. Take accountability especially when the cat is out the bag!
You have the right to feel however you do, but you have a choice to make how far you drag it out after expressing your feelings. Do you believe he has integrity, that he would do the right thing without someone looking now? If so, find a way to process and move on. If not, maybe evaluate why he’s there.
Well you are hurt, whichis a normal feeling, you were not engaged or married, Let it go or beat it to death your choice.
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Oh so the cheating happened x amount of years ago so it’s null and void? Didn’t know cheating had an expiration date as long as their partner didn’t know 
Naaaahhhhhhh…… I mean what else has he been withholding for those years? …. I’m sorry but I’m good. I would lose all trust in anything he’s ever done or said. That’s me tho… 
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My personal opinion if you 2 get along great and are truly happy let it go. I mean I would be upset too but I wouldn’t let it destroy my happy home. It happened 15 yrs ago true you just found out and it probably feels like he just did it but come on punish him a little while and move on. Tell him to stop trying to lie his way out of it now and to help you learn to deal with it. Prayers for peace and love
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Let it go your happy it was long time ago I no it has hurt you .but please don’t give up on happy marriage .maybe he did maybe he didn’t but try to put aside before it destroys you .listen to your heart .not too others with very harsh comments .
Leave it alone or go to couple counceling untill you feel right about your trust. Most men do this when overseas tho. It’s a different life then.
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Shake it off that was 15 yrs ago:woman_facepalming:t2:
You have every right to be upset. Infidelity doesn’t have an expiration date especially if you’re just learning about it.
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We’re you all dating or engaged or what then ?
It would honestly change the way I saw him if it was me, I couldn’t forgive cheating because id be paranoid forever.
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Yes you have the right to be upset. He still cheated, doesn’t matter if it wasn’t recent. And if he did it then who knows if he did it any other times.
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If he hasn’t cheated since you got married you might want to let it go but not easily, make him suffer enough so he feels the sting of that pain every time he glances at a hot female whether he contemplates coitus or not. Pavlovs dog his ass… 
Well he definitely shouldn’t have done that but you are allowed to have your feelings and feel the way you do so maybe just try talking to him about it and tell him how you feel
I think I’d be more upset that he made the confession and is now lying about it. If things are good between you then move forward, looking to the past you can’t change will only bring hurt. But I think you need to tell him this.
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It’s called the military…do you know how many military men have? Especially in Korea
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He definitely did it. If he owns it, sincerely regrets it and hasn’t cheated since, consider it a 1 time stupid thing. You have a right to feel betrayed though and I don’t mean to trivialize that. Given everything else being good, I could eventually get past it but I’m older and have been married 30 yrs so I see things differently than I would have earlier on.
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I mean if it happened before y’all got together you technically don’t have a right to be upset about his past his past is his past for reason, don’t continue to make it the future by getting mad and causing arguments about it because he happened to tell you one night while drunk.
Sorry, couldn’t resist. In my experience, I’ve always heard the truth out of a drunk person.
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The fact that he remembers for this long kinda tells me it’s haunted him. When my husband and I were dating he cheated it was about 6 years before we got married, I found out about it pretty much immediately and he did what he had to do to gain my trust back but it was hard. But I remember more details about it then he does. So I just feel like it has ate at your husband for this long I highly doubt it’ll happen again. I’d move forward if everything is good and if he’ll admit it sober and quit lying
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There is no point in getting upset over spilled milk that was decades ago.
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It was 15 years ago and you weren’t married. Put it on the back burner
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