My dad and I used to lay on the couch and watch movies together for the longest time. I never had anything to worry about because he is and was my absolute hero. I mean he hung the moon. It just depends on how affectionate it is. And if you feel uncomfortable with them cuddling then you shouldn’t leave him alone with that kids.
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What is wrong with a father wanting to cuddle his kids? You have issues like.
He can’t cuddle one kid and not the other that is wrong and step father or father shouldn’t matter if he raises all kids the same as equals as his own children what’s your problem?? Get a grip and let him love them girls equally.
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I am curious to why this is not ok in your eyes? My daughter and hubby have cuddles some nights while we all watch tv on couch and I find nothing wrong. Infact I’m happy they get along.
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Be thankful that your boyfriend is loving and cuddling with a child that isn’t his.
And if he was cuddling the baby and your daughter wanted cuddles to you’d tell her no?
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Does he cuddle with your 16 month old? Are you comfortable with him doing so?
If the answer to those questions is yes…then there is no reason for him not to be able to cuddle with the 4yo. Unless there is more details than what I am seeing in the original post (I didn’t scroll the comments)…I guess I just don’t understand the problem?
If the answer to either question is no…then it needs further evaluation. If she is the only one he cuddles with, then I feel like that may be a red flag…unless the 16 month old isn’t the type to let people cuddle them. If the 16 month isn’t a cuddle type kid, that makes it more complicated.
If you are comfortable with him cuddling the 16 month old, but not the 4 year old, I think you need to look at why you feel that way and maybe your own past. I have an extended family member who used to be totally uncomfortable with her husband cuddling their daughters. Thru counseling for unrelated issues, she worked thru that she had been molested as a young child by her stepfather and obviously that led to her being suspicious of any male doing even innocent non-sexual cuddling with kids.
Men (including step dads) can show emotions just the same as women. My late husband had a very close connection with his children, including his daughter. It was nothing to have his daughter cuddle with him. Men can have a “protective” Side, it doesn’t always have to be sexual. If she feels safe with him, that’s a great thing.
My husband cuddles with his daughter and our son. Unless he did something that is inappropriate that makes you worry then you need to chill. They’re kids. They need love and cuddling is very normal. Am I not supposed to cuddle my son because I’m a female? Get a grip
Firstly get yourself therapy for your sexual childhood issues.
Secondly there is absolutely nothing wrong with a dad n daughter cuddling.
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If you don’t trust him cuddling with his own kids why are you with him?
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This is ridiculous. OP needs to go to therapy and find out why she feels cuddling is wrong. She says “cuddling the girls” meaning both step child and 16 month old baby. It’s either jealousy on her part or something happened to her and she’s projecting.
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Children need afection from their daddys. This is how you get daughters with daddy issues that become whores. Looking for the affection they didn’t get from their father. Hugs and cuddling is fine. Especially at 4… if she was 14 and they cuddled on couch I may have a red flag. Let him love them. (Not saying all ladies without a dad are hoes save it).
If you are creeped out by your husbands actions then you shouldn’t have had more kids with him or leave them alone with him, since he cuddles and you are not ok with this. Might as well just go your separate ways.
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You are definitely in the wrong.
This is the man your suppose to love, and to build a family with… If you don’t trust him with your kids, maybe you should re evaluate yourself and seek some type of help.
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You my friend are sick… what the hell are you insinuating? The father/stepfather of your children is being sexual with your kids? What are you doing with him then if you think he’s being inappropriate??? You need serious help if you think a father snuggling with his kids is dirty or wrong! Grow up!!!
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It bothers me that your not ok with it with his non biological children, but are ok with it with his biological children. I spooned my babies until they no longer wanted it, but that’s OK because I’m mom, but it’s not ok for dad or a stepdad to cuddle his babies and make them feel loved and secure? If you don’t trust him, you’ve got to let him go. And if you can’t trust any man for that matter you can’t be in a relationship. Therapy would be your best option, perhaps a therapist who specializes in physical abuse as if you’re feeling this way I have a feeling you were abused at some point and need someone to talk to.
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Nooooo… I don’t like that… makes my skin crawl thinking about it!!! Noooooo, he woulda just gave to get mad!
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Why are you having kids with a man you don’t trust.
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If you are concerned with the man your currently having sex with and multiple children with, being comforting to your children, then theres something wrong with you or he shouldnt have been allowed to be in the picture period… Now maybe if your oldest daughter was a teenager that was fully developed and uncomfortable with it, that would be a totally different story. I see no wrong in him doing this as long as he is being decent about it. Otherwise, why in the hell would you open your legs to him?
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Uhmmm if you’re uncomfortable with her cuddling with basically her father then maybe you shouldn’t be with him. My boyfriend of 3 yrs cuddles with my 5 yr old and I’ve never felt uncomfortable with it. My brother also cuddles with his children(3 + almost 5). Nothing wrong with a father cuddling.
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Wow…you have some serious issues that you need to go to counseling for. And if this man has ever given you actuall reason to be concerned with his cuddling (like past inappropriate behavior) then you shouldnt be with him and have him around your kids anyway! This man has been around since your oldest was 1-2…that is more than long enough for him to bond with her and her with him that would result in affection and FATHERLY cuddling! Im gonna pray for your fiance cause its sounds like he’s in for hell with you.
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This is insane. He is the father and unless you have reason to suspect he would harm them in anyway you are being ridiculous.
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I cannot even believe this is a question …my husband cuddles with my 6 year old son who is his stepchild. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that it’s being a loving father. I also have a four-year-old daughter who he cuddles with too I really cannot fathom questioning my husband cuddling with my children
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This is ridiculous. Be grateful that he loves his children.
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I guess the main question should be, do you have a reason to not want him to cuddle with a 4yr old?
At that age cuddling is a comfort… if that’s her step dad I don’t see a problem with it at age four! But if she was older of course. Now if you have a reason to believe he’d do something then sure. It would make me uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that I would leave… I wouldn’t want to be with someone I thought in the back of my mind would touch my daughter. Idk. I guess the only thing that really concerned me is that you have a problem with it
If you think that more then cuddling is going on then you shouldn’t be with him or leave your children with him.
But if you just think its wrong go get your head checked nothing wrong with cuddling on the couch with dad or stepdad its you that sexualizing it and you’re in the wrong!
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May I ask why it makes you uncomfortable? Have you noticed inappropriate rubbing or groping? Do the girls seem uncomfortable or are they going to him? Have you asked your oldest if she ever feels uncomfortable or if she is being touched in private areas? What is your reasons for not trusting him or feeling uneasy about it and if you dont like it why are you still leaving your kids with him? Just to many unanswered questions here to give you advice. I understand if your being cautious momma but do talk to your child and see if they are the ones feeling uncomfortable.
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you need help for your issues…with so many mean step parents your mad cause step dad loved step daughter…please seek help
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How long has he been in her life? What type of relationship do they have? Have you experienced anything as a child? You know your family. As a mother you have an instinct. If your instinct says no then go with that. And those of you saying she needs therapy she may very well need therapy. But the key to this whole situation is he is the step father. It’s Mom’s decision regardless. And it doesn’t make her a bad mom for having this question. Matter of fact it makes her a great mom because in the world we live in this is the sad truth. Step father’s molest their step kids and so do women and so on and so forth. I commend you for caring enough to question it.
Most of these bitches judging you would be the ones coming out on Steve Wilkos show asking for a lie detectors test. Everyone is allowed to be a little peronoid for there kids. Go hard for them sweetie.
You are so wrong. I think maybe you need counseling. If you honestly think hes abusing her or its sexual tou should leave immediately and report him but if bit you’re being insane. What kind of father doesn’t cuddle their kids? Were you abused at some point maybe and that’s why you feel this way?
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I think you need to spend some time reflecting on what specifically is making you uncomfortable. Has something happened in your own past or his that causes this insecurity? I’m guessing it’s something in your own history or I wouldn’t think you’d allow him in the house with your kids. I think working with a therapist on this may be helpful for you. It is important to work through your feelings and get to a healthy place so please ignore the comments calling you sick, etc. This is important and could hurt the relationship between step-father and your child.
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Do you think he’s a pedophile? Or is there something in your history that makes you feel this is inappropriate?
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Wow.
My hubby is step father to my oldest two. Father to my youngest two.
I would never in a million years imagine telling him he couldn’t cuddle them.
That sounds like a bigger issue and if you don’t feel comfortable with that maybe you shouldn’t be together.
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Honestly. If my husband told me I couldnt cuddle my kids (boys 6&7) I’d tell him to hit the road 
Yes my first title after being myself is a wife, but as a mother I’m supposed to protect and comfort my children. Just like a father. It makes me sick that you’ve already mentioned it to him… he’s got to feel so defeated by these type of allegations…
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But you feel comfortable leaving him home alone with her??? I mean you know four-year-olds need help wiping their butts and taking baths… there’s more to your story🤷🏼♀️
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Wow… you have issues. She feels comfortable in his arms let it go
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I would just keep my eyes open. But if you don’t trust this man, why are you with him and having children with him. I know a lot of men of my 72 years on this Earth who raped not just step daughter but their own daughters. This is a evil world we live in.
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Why are you treating him like a sexual predator? You should be thankful he treats her as his own and gives them equal amounts of love.
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Im trying to understand if you think its flat wrong for a man to cuddle with his children, or if its this man specifically that has made you uncomfortable…? Usually id say go with your gut. The safety of your kids is the most important thing. But if you just think men cuddling with their kids is wrong in general, I have to say that a father holding back affection from his kids can also be very damaging to the kids.
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I would leave your perverted ass for insinuating such a ridiculous and horrible situation.
If you felt your husband was doing shit to your child, than why are you with him? Why would you leave her alone with him ever? Because he isn’t. Your a pos!
I could NEVER tell my fiancé he couldn’t cuddle our children bio or not!!!
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I cuddle with my step daughter sometimes. My husband has slept in her bed when she was sick or when she got scared. I would have serious issues if he told me i couldn’t cuddle with my step daughter if she asks me too. She is his child too. Unless you have issues because of past things he has done you shouldnt hinder them bonding.
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There has to be more to this… cuddling is a comfort think. If she was upset while you were gone what would you like him to do instead?
What in the world…
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WTH? The fact that you even have this question should tell you all you need to know 
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Ummm. I’m on his side. Sounds like there’s a problem with YOU. Pedophilia isn’t normal but it’s also not normal for people to think that just because a grown man cuddles with the child that it means they are doing it inappropriately. He’s obviously been in your daughters life for quite a while if you have a 16-month-old together, if he has a daughter of his own and parenting her comes naturally to him then it would also probably come natural to him to parent his stepdaughter. Would you think it was weird if he was biologically related to her? That’s pretty much like saying any dad who has adopted a child should not cuddle that child. I’m sorry but I think your view on this is worrisome
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What the actual fuck? Why would u be upset? I dont understand?
As a psychotherapist for 30 years I believe that it is crucial for every child to have snuggle time with parents of either sex. Imagine how your oldest daughter will feel if he snuggles with the other 2 and not her. She might not be aware now but as she gets older she may realize the difference between him being her stepdad and being the biological dad of the others. In many cases, that will lead to her feeling less a part of the “real” family. That could cause real trauma and be devastating to her relationship with everyone else.
Also, it is highly beneficial for children to have a healthy relationship with a father figure. For girls, it is the best predictor of whether she will have happy and healthy relationships with men as she gets older. It supports her ability to choose healthy and supportive relationships and avoid ones that are abusive, either emotionally or physically.
That said, it is crucial to ask if there is a valid reason for this concern. Does he have a history of inappropriate behavior with children. If so, LEAVE, because that shit doesn’t change. If he’s done nothing that would warrant your concerns, I have to wonder if you have had personal experience having been inappropriately touched when you were young. That too can lead to lifelong trauma even if you think it doesn’t affect you now. If that is the case I STRONGLY urge you to get treatment for yourself. If you cant afford therapy then there are support groups, etc that you can contact. Not dealing with such trauma could negatively affect your relationship with any man and with your kids and any males in their lives.
You’re in the wrong. You either think hes a pedophiles and you’re still with him. Or theres a history of abuse with your child that your not sharing with him (if hes around your daughter this much, he needs to know). Or you did tell him about a history of abuse and he doesnt care and you’re still with him.
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I think u need some mental help. Seriously…i cant believe what i have just read…
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Why would you have your children call him dad if you don’t let him act as such? Completely wrong
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It’s good you are not ignoring your instincts. Why do you think it is inappropriate? I wouldn’t be guilted into changing my mind if I was you. Love can blind women. It great that you speak up. Is your daughters father in her life? If he was and not comfortable not wanting that then yes I would honor that combined with your instincts. We have them for a reason. Catching them full on spooning when you are not there is a little odd. Too many women cover their eyes and ears to tiny signs over and over then before you know it their child is molested or raped then sit around crying they had no idea he was a great man blah blah blah. I dont think its wrong to always be cautious around a man that is not the father but he should also know that not being the father subjects will come up. They may not always be comfortable subjects but if he loves you and your kids he will face them and maybe you can get through it together just fine. It may be something it may be nothing but if you dont handle it it will ALWAYS be something that worries you.
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That’s his daughter too, step or not. Imagine him telling you he’s not comfortable with you cuddling her
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Either you feel that he is a pedophile, in which case, you should not be having babies with him, or you were molested and are projecting, in which case you should be getting therapy for yourself.
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I hope she is joking!!! She is mad because her fiance loves her daughter as his own?! I hope I’m not reading that right lol Annonomous… You need to be grateful that your with a man that loves and comforts your daughter as his own. You clearly have some issues that need to be addressed if something like this makes you uncomfortable. It’s completely normal for a parent, biological or not to cuddle with their children. If I were your fiance, I’d leave to be honest. How dare you make him feel like he’s some sort of pedophile and if you think something is going on shame on you for staying!!!
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My girls cuddle with there dad and me all the time there’s nothing wrong with it.
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If you feel like he may hurt them leave him now. Kids thrive on affection. She is 4 not 14… that’s just ridiculous to ask of him.
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My husband cuddles our BOYS. Kids that young love to cuddle. And theres nothing wrong with that. Maybe your mind is just sick?
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My husband cuddles my daughter. He also gives her medicine when she is sick, tucks her in to bed sometimes, picks her up from school, plays, sings and laughs with her. And I do the same with his daughters… he is another parent. He is hers just as much as I am. If he didn’t do these things… I would worry
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This is crazy. My husband cuddles my daughter. She is 7 and everyday after school she wants a hug. Hell he will be in bed ( works nights) and if he isn’t up to give a hug she climbs in bed to get the hug. His son gets hugs from me. Both kids have been cuddled up in bed with him. Guess what he is dad. If I wasn’t completely comfortable with him being involved with my kids than I wouldn’t be with him. She gets hurt or upset she runs to him. Mommy is for when she is in trouble. Dad is for everything else. Why be with someone you are not comfortable with? Secondly does he do the same thing to the other daughter? Are you jealous bc she is cuddling and you aren’t? Did you get abused? Lastly if you are this uncomfortable with him around your oldest than leave. Have the police investigate him. I mean there are other children are they not allowed to cuddle with dad either? Bc if it’s just because he isn’t her bio dad get help. Bc that means you want him to treat the kids differently. That isn’t fair to her.
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Stop thinking of it as something bad. You’re sick in you’re head, if he isn’t touching her or doing something inappropriate you are making a big deal for nothing. You should be happy that he wants to cuddle your children and love them that way. You’re selfish and you better think about that. I think you would be more upset if he wasnt giving any of ur kids attention. So stfu and be happy you have someone who is loving. Dummy
I think depends on how he’s cuddling her because there’s cuddling but then there’s groping, as a mother if you’re uncomfortable with him being pressed against her in a manner that seems sexual then okay father or not there should always be boundaries built among men and younger girls, I remember when I was younger I wasn’t allowed to sit on anyone’s lap especially a males lap because my mom wasn’t okay with it and I’m thankful for that, it’s nothing against anyone she was protecting and preventing something but end of the day do what you feel is right.
She’s 4. I think you may be over thinking things.
If you can’t trust him, and think he’s a pedophile then you obviously need to leave. I can’t imagine why else it wouldn’t be appropriate. My daughter cuddles with her dad.
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U sound jealous…
Im on his side, ur in the wrong
She’s four, not fourteen! There’s a difference between cuddling and inappropriately touching a child, I pray you know the difference.
Um why can’t he? Do you not trust him? Think he’s gonna try something with her? If you think he’s a pedo you shouldn’t be with him in the first place, let alone have 2 kids with him if you don’t think he is why can’t he show affect to her? Maybe she was having a bad day and asked him to cuddle with her since she can’t with her dad as he ain’t there 
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I’ve heard too many stories in my life to not take precaution. Of course we never want to think that people we love would do things to hurt us however, history has taught us different. History has taught us that the people closest to us are the ones prone to hurt our children. I’m like you. Although I trust my husband and other men in my life I would get uncomfortable if they were “spooning “ as you put it. Laying down next to each other perhaps but spooning would make me uncomfortable as well. I disagree with other people saying that you are projecting. Thank God nothing has ever happened to me, and I feel the same as you. While I can always appreciate a man trying to be a father figure, at the end of the day he is not her father and spooning is not acceptable in my eyes. Stand your ground. She’s your child !
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I think it’s cute. You’re overreacting in my opinion and it’s a little absurd. Kids love to cuddle and it makes them feel loved. There is nothing inappropriate about it I don’t think
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Yes you’re wrong! If you’re willing to make two more babies with him then you obviously trust him. If he’s being a daddy to her why stop his love? My husband’s cuddles all 4 of our girls! The oldest 2 are his and I’ve always cuddled them. It sounds like you’ve been traumatized in your life and your going to push the dad raising your daughter away.
Is the OP seems like a victim of previous abuse? That could be why she lacks trust.
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My brother is a step dad to two kids and he loved on/spolied the little girl more than the boy. She saw him as dad and I cuddled with my dad a lot growing up. I don’t see anything wrong with showing affection to a child even if it’s not biologically mine. I’d be thankful someone loves my child as I do. Not everyone is sick. Have faith. Obviously you love and trust this man to keep having kids with him. I’d be upset if someone saw my affection towards a child in a bad way too.
If you trust him to be alone with her, then why do you say he’s inappropriate? This is the problem with women. You claim he acts “inappropriate,” but still allow him to be alone with her. If you were that concerned about your daughter then why the hell would you let them be alone together?! 
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Umm. So 1) a father figure cuddling his child no matter the age is ok. My daughter is 5 and her stepfather cuddles on the couch with her and my 3 year old son while watching a movie. I have never had an issue. 2) if for some reason you don’t trust him with your daughters then don’t be with him at all.
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Can’t believe how unkind some of these responses are.
We don’t know your background, or if you’ve ever been a victim of child abuse or not. That being said, I’m not sure if that matters in this situation anyway.
A step parent is still a parent. They are choosing to be a caretaker with you. You have two children with him. Speaking objectively, he would be trusted with your daughter by you. Your daughter would have confusion as she gets older why her siblings can have certain levels with him versus herself.
My advice though is to look within yourself. Why do you not trust him to behave solely as a father? Maybe it’s what your mother would have done. Or maybe your intuition prevents you from feeling okay with it. Only you can figure that out, and it’s very important for you to be raw and honest to yourself.
The assumption here is that if you are happy to bear his children you should trust him around your other children. But if you are weary of him, again, you may have to find the answer within. We must protect our children but we cannot blame innocent family members. Good luck my dear
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No you are not wrong at all . I married a guy when my daughter was four , he started molesting her when she was six but I didn’t find out until she was 15 because I worked 7 days a week and 16 hours a day. One day I came home early and caught him with her, I called police right away , long story short , he’s now in prison and I remarried. She is 38 now.
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Nope not wrong…at all.
cuddling is ok sometimes but not over doing it
If you feel like he is being inappropriate LEAVE.
As a child who went through sexual assault by my step father without my mom knowing for THREE years- get him out of there if you feel like he is a danger around your child. Most importantly, I’d ask your daughter. And whatever she tells you, BELIEVE HER.
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I feel the same way about my kids paternal grandpa. Not saying he is a bad person, but you are the mother . Trust your instincts. Most abuse happens from a person who is in the home and trusted. Better to protect them than to find out 10 years from now that he was fondling them. Don’t listen to all of these idiots commenting negative things. They are the reason that so much sexual abuse goes on for years in a home. Trust nobody when it comes to your kids.
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But he can cuddle is biological kids? But you can cuddle them all? If he does it out of love n not sexual why are you saying he can’t snuggle his kids?
Yes! Youre treating that man like a pedophile. If you see him doing something like that to your kids you shouldnt be with him and if not you are wrong for that
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My husband is my older 2 kids step dad and he used to cuddle with them when they were younger. They would grab their blankets and cuddle me or him to watch movies. I think its purely innocent.
All my daughter wants to do it cuddle with Daddy when he gets home from work. She cuddles with him so much when he gets home it’s like I’m invisible after being with her all day:joy:
. I think you’re overthinking this. If you think something inappropriate is going on then why would you leave them at home together? If your trust issues are out of wack due to something that might have happened in your past, maybe you should see a therapist who can help you work out how you’re feeling.
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If you think that little of him you should leave. There is nothing wrong with a step parent cuddling a child
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Uhm. Hm. My husband lays with our 3 year old daily because she asks him too. If you honestly believe your fiance would touch your child inappropriately you shouldn’t even be with him.
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He’s doing nothing wrong. Be glad he sees her as his own and loves her just like he does his other kid. You can’t have it both ways . you’re gonna cause him to distant himself from her and then he won’t have anything to do with her . if you can’t trust him why have more kids with him?
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What is roung with it ???
Stop making it sexual. I mean be cautious but if youre that uncomfortable about him being cuddly with your daughter maybe you shouldnt be with him, my soon to be 4 year old loves cuddling with her step daddy, she feels comfortable and secure, its no where near sexual and I love they have a bond. I’m not worried nor paranoid about them cuddling. My daughter is very open and will say anything if something were to happen, she knows bad touch etc.
If that worried, put cameras up in common areas.
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You’re wrong imo. I cuddle like that with my daughter sometimes too, especially when it’s late and I want her to lay down and calm down before we actually go to bed. It kinda sounds like you dont fully trust him with the kids.
Why did you marry a man you dont trust with your child? She’s a very, very small child. Hes probably been around for awhile, at least since she was two. She sees him as a father figure.
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If you don’t trust him there is either something wrong with him or you. But either way your relationship needs emergency help. If you have a church I’d suggest getting counseling there if not seeking out a counselor today cause it takes months. In the mean time seperate cause if he’s doing nothing wrong other than loving your children then he deserves better while you seek help.
Wow.
Unless he’s given you reason to think he’s a pedophile, that’s messed up that you would think like that…
And if you cant trust him to cuddle with your 4 year old then why would you trust him cuddling with the other 2?
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Why would you have children with a man if he’s not allowed to cuddle them? If you have a son will you not cuddle him? Women can be pedophiles too and that’s how your treating your husband which is extremely messed up, unless he’s given you reason to do so… I have a 2 month old daughter with my boyfriend and id be mad if he didn’t try to cuddle with her and love on her, kids need affection from their fathers too!
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Trust your instincts.
Would you think it wrong for a woman to cuddle a boy? Kids need love and affection to feel safe and connected to their family. If he is helping raise her and she looks up to him and feels safe enough to let him cuddle her that’s a positive thing. I think your own personal feelings are affecting your judgment. Do you have any reason not to trust him? And if you do then why continue to have children with him. As long as nothing inappropriate is going on just plain snuggling/hugging and him holding her should be ok and is healthy for her.
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WOW. That’s all I can say
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Absolutely nothing wrong with it at all. If it makes you uncomfortable maybe you have some underlying issues that bring this feeling to light for you.
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I see nothing wrong with him cuddling his kids. Do you have some PTSD you need to deal with?!
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You got some serious issues if your not wanting your daughters step father to show her the same loves as the others .
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Well you shouldn’t be bothered by them showing each other affection, if you are bothered by it something is not right.