I don't think its appropriate that my daughters step dad cuddles her: Advice?

Do you not trust him? I mean I believe to the child it shows comfort/love it shouldn’t be that way if I walked in on that I would be like awwwe … did something happen with you or others? I’d be mad to if I was him bc what are you insinuating?

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…this is why step parents pull away from step children because of ridiculous things like this. Smh.

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Why can’t he cuddle them? I cuddle my kids everyday… and would tell someone to go fuck themselves if they told me otherwise.

If he has been the only father figure, why does it matter? Women are allowed to cuddle their children all the time but when a father does it, it’s wrong? You are wrong, not wanting him to cuddle HIS children. You shouldn’t be able to either then :woman_shrugging:t3:

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From personal experience… I wish I never sat with my father.
But everyone is different. He probably didn’t mean it inappropriately, unless he was touching her in bad places.

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You’re not wrong but neither is he, statistically when a man is in the home that isn’t the bio dad the risks of rape or other sexual acts goes up dramatically (like it’s unfortunate how hight the percent is)
Unless he has something to hide he needs to understand where you’re coming from.

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Ya youre wrong imo. He is acting like a father would. Whats wrong with that? If you for whatever reason dont trust him doing that, then I would rethink the whole damn relationship

As a victim of being molested by my own stepfather just reading that made me uncomfortable… not saying he is doing wrong, but not saying it’s not possible. My stepdad used to pull that shit with me! I would put a stop to it ! Especailly if it makes you uncomfortable… best of luck hope its not what it seems! Protect your daughters!

I truly hope that you’re not allowing your four-year-old to hear you talk to him. If you don’t trust him then you shouldn’t be with him but you definitely shouldn’t put it in your child’s head that he could be a molester. Just trust your mother intuition

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My partner is step to 2 of my girls (5 and 3 1/2); he has been in their lived for almost all of their lives. They cuddle, kiss, hug, etc. He bathes them when needed (they’re still learning how to properly wash themselves), applies ointments if needed, checks on them when needed, etc.

He doed everything a biological father should.

He does everything any kind of father should.

The first year was difficult for me; my now 5 year old was molested when she was 10 months by a close family member, and I was raised that men should never do anything because they’re all perverts.

So yeah. First year was ROUGH.

It took that entire year to learn that it’s okay for close love to happen.

A man being close to a female, regardless of age, does not always mean sex or arousal.

In all honesty he has done more in one year than their biological father ever has, and he is in their life very frequently and they have a good relationship.

Love and closeness is not always about sex.

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It could be that he loves the child. But I would not leave my child alone with him until you know him better.

Have you ever been sexually abused.? Tell him not to cuddle with your 4yr old. Tell him it’s not appropriate

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Why would you leave him with them if you don’t trust him? Why would you be with a man that you think might be inappropriate with your kid!?Also, why are you jumping to the conclusion that there’s anything inappropriate about him cuddling with his step child? If all is well, you should be glad to have a man that accepts and loves your child like that!

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Poor guy… I use to cuddle with my step dad(father of my little brother) and it was perfectly fine, hed even rock me to sleep sometimes. He should be able to cuddle his own babies at least because you said “the girls” which is plural.

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My mom had something happen to her so she didn’t really trust my dad( step dad) but she didn’t trust him only bc she had trauma but my dad worked with her it was hard bc she always asked did he do this or that and me being a child I didn’t understand so I always got irritated me and my dad didn’t have much of a relationship bc of that but we eventually started getting closer now we are like two peas in a pod

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Would you rather him be completely emotionally void with your kid? She’s 4. 4 years olds love to snuggle. If you think he’s a child molester then you shouldn’t be with him. I do think you’re very wrong in this situation.

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Wow… you dont want a man who is supposed to step in as a father to show affection towards the children he is raising… yeah ok… if u feel like he “might” do something or isnt safe with your kids then 1 he shouldn’t be babysitting and 2 you shouldn’t be with him. If you dont think he will do anything and hasn’t gave you any reason to believe he will then get over urself.

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I would guess that you have some deep rooted insecurities based on unhealthy relationships? You need to trust your husband to care for HIS kids. If you have reason not to, he needs to go. If your reason not to is because of something that happened to you in life, please seek counseling.

Your daughters NEED his love and affection!!! For girls the love of a father figure is paramount in healthy development, and self love. Maybe even more so than the love you can give them. Please do not rob them of a healthy intimate relationship with him. If you do they will seek it from other men…

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I think its more a jealously thing on you’re part. If. He’s shown behavior that is inapporiate, why would you live with him much less leave them alone with him. Just because he loves his step daughter and shows her affection, doesnt make him a prediator or pervert

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If you don’t trust him to cuddle your daughter why are you with him and having more babies with him? Children need affection and especially the daughter to dad affection. If I saw something inappropriate (touching private’s or asking for her to touch him) he’d be in prison, not the subject of a Facebook post.

If it was harmless cuddling like how you would cuddle her, then let him love her.

I have a son who is not my boyfriends biological child and they snuggle and my son sits in his lap on the couch and I never thought anything about it was inappropriate because if I was worried about that, I wouldn’t be in a relationship with him.

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Yes you are very wrong let him cuddle them babies let him love them as if they are his own as long as he’s not doing anything inappropriate, having a boner touching them inappropriately, then ya…But if he’s just doing what your father did to you and just holding you and loving you and letting you know it’s a safe world because he’s going to make sure you’re safe…Then let him share his love.

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I wonder if he’s actually being inappropriate or if you’re just looking at things with a suspicious eye do to maybe some previous trauma of your own and if you have previous, maybe you should get some help but if there’s actual inappropriate behavior funniest part other than cuddling I don’t see why you would continue to have children with this person much less have this person around your children.

You need to step away from your trauma don’t live in it and force your children to live in it if he has two kids by you and has done nothing but nurture and raise them correctly what’s the issue? If you truly are scared why stay with him? It sounds like you’re not over personal trauma and you’re projecting your insecurities to your children

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He’s just trying to be a father. Do you cuddle your kids? Children need affection from both parents.
If you don’t trust him around your kids and think he would harm them, then you shouldn’t be with him.

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Mamas Uncut please review and remove negative and insulting comments.

She’s asking for help and advice and you say there’s something wrong with her and etc. Same on you. The world is not black and white and there’s fear everywhere.

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If there is a voice telling you something isn’t rt, then maybe you need to listen.
As far as a step parent/ parent cuddling a child that isn’t abnormal and she should not be denied basic affection.
Did you see something or your daughter say something that was odd, is she acting in a way that makes you wonder, those are reasons to be concerned. In addition if there is reason to be concerned then there is reason to be getting out of that relationship.!

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How old is the oldest and why do u have this issue? Why are u A) leaving your child with him if theres trust issues
B- ) why would u have a child and then get pregnant again with a second to him?

You obviously dnt trust this guy or theres more than this to this story!!

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I think you’re the one sexualizing it. I cuddle with my boys daily, they are 8 and 2. Does that make it wrong for me to do as well? My boyfriend- pretty much their step dad, been around since my two year old was an infant- snuggles up with them on the couch, my 2 year old on his lap and my 8 year old beside him laying his head on his shoulder. Is that wrong? No, because I don’t sexualize it. If I were you I’d be happy that your man is trying to be a father figure to your oldest. I’d be concerned if he WASNT trying to be close with her and have a bond. It warms my heart when mine is sweet with my boys, it shows he cares.

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Everyone needs to get off her. If she feels that she don’t want him to (spoon) her daughter so be it. There a different between spooning and cuddling. If she feels she don’t want him to spoon her daughter it’s her daughter listen to what you feel

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So you trust this man enough to have not one but 2 children with him but you don’t trust him with your 4yr old? I get it, you can’t be too comfortable with people these days, I completely understand but I’m just confused. Also, you’re not allowing this man who is the biological father to the one, not to cuddle his child?!?! It would be like my husband telling me not to cuddle my son because you know I’m female and he’s well a male. I’m guessing maybe you have some sexual trauma in your past possibly and that’s why you may think this way. It’s ok to seek help dealing with that, I promise. And if your stance doesn’t change with your 4yr old, that’s your decision, but don’t rob him of having a loving relationship with his bio children. That’s not fair.

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Posting from my wife’s account (other comments from her are hers).

As a stepfather of two daughters, 8 and 16, I would NEVER consider spooning with either of them. Both have sat in my lap at times and I’ve held them when they’ve cried. But not for one moment would I consider it appropriate or reasonable to spoon them.

Additionally, if my wife expressed any concern whatsoever to me about my interactions with our daughters, I would cease that behavior immediately and discuss the behavior with all parties.

If this mother has concerns about her fiancé and her daughter and their interactions, she should definitely intervene and get to the bottom of it.

To the mother in this thread — trust your gut! That’s your daughter and don’t let anyone else on here shame you for being concerned!

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As a child abuse survivor get a cam and talk to your kids about body safety and it’s ok to say no, it’s better to be safe then sorry always always follow your instincts, I wish my mom did

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You married the man, had another child by the man but don’t trust him to act like a father to your other child? :joy::joy::roll_eyes: If you feel that strongly he’s “in the wrong” why do you keep leaving your kid with him? Take your kids and leave.

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I am a step mom to a four year old boy and we cuddle all the time. He’s always in my lap, and when he sleeps in our bed he is practically right on top of me. If he hasn’t actually shown that he’s doing something inappropriate then I don’t see the issue? He’s being a father. I’m 23 and still go to my father for hugs and will sit on the couch and lean against him. If you don’t trust him with your oldest, why would you have two more with him?

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YOU’RE NOT OVERREACTING, I don’t give a shit what it’s about, listen to your motherly instincts, we have them for a reason, it doesn’t matter what trauma you have been through,( if at all, he should understand and want you to be ok, period, regardless of the reasons), his ass would be out if he wasn’t respecting my way of parenting, idc how many kids are his, if you feel some type of way, if it’s him or something else, he should respect your feelings

Ignore all the negativity, trust your gut. Sometimes it’s the people you least expect and you have every right to set boundaries for your children. From the outside it is easy to say he wouldn’t hurt them, but only you know what kind of person he is, and mothers intuition is almost always right. My mothers most trusted friend would molest me while she was in the next room and the door open, and I just saw yesterday on dr Phil, a little girl was being molested by her dr in front of her mom. Unfortunately this is the world we live in and you can never be too careful.

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Why you having more children with someone you obviously don’t trust? There nothing wrong with cuddling.

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This is my daughter with my boyfriend, her dad walked out and my kids ADORE him.
If there’s no trust in the relationship you guys should not be together or consider slowing down your relationship… He is choosing to love your daughter like his own!! You are for sure over thinking UNLESS she has mentioned some darker insight… Give him a chance though!!
For sure talk about why you’re uncomfortable, but remember ANY good step father will love your babies like his own and treat them as such!!!
If it comes down to it seek couples or even family counseling
Best wishes mama!!!

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So would you allow him to cuddle with your 16 month old?
If yes then you are completely alienating your older daughter! Would you be ok if he dad is cuddling with her?
Do you not trust him? If that is the answer then you shouldn’t be in a relationship with him and you should have his kids!!

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You are 100% wrong and such a liberal. You should be happy you have someone that loves your kids and is showing them they are safe and protected. I remember being young and afraid of someone trying to break in so every night to fall asleep my dad would lay in bed with me and I would clutch his arm because I knew nothing would happen to me if my dad was there. I was 6. He would sneak away when I would pass out. Maybe something bad happened to you as a child but to take away that security blanket of a male figure making them feel safe is 100% wrong. He should leave you for sexualizing that shit.

I’d be so fucking pissed with you! Mad world when you see something wrong with the man you love and trust enough to have kids with can’t even hug his daughter :rage: how cruel!

My husband cuddles my oldest. He’s not biologically his. If I had even an inkling of a feeling that something was wrong I would leave.

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Trust your gut. But my boyfriend who I have two children with snuggles and cuddles with them and my two oldest girls from a previous relationship. It’s never inappropriate and they all lay together in bed watching tv, doesn’t bother me. I think sometimes we don’t get love and affection as children so when we become parents we’re either the same or overly affectionate. (We’re both very affectionate people) But if you think it’s inappropriate, it’s inappropriate. Period.

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You’re wrong by turning it into something sexual when it’s not. She’s 4 for Pete’s sake. She’ll be too old to want to cuddle soon anyways. Let them have her bonding time.

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If you don’t trust him enough to cuddle with a 4 year old who is absolutely seeing this as just love and not anything sexual than you shouldn’t be with him.
When I first started reading this I thought you were talking about a teenager, that would be inappropriate but a 4 year old I don’t see a problem with.

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The spooning thing, I don’t think you’re wrong for questioning it… But, I can’t help but wonder, if you don’t trust this man’s actions, why do you continue to A) be with him, B) keep having more children with him, and C) leave your kids alone with him.

If he is a predator, you’re leaving your kids vulnerable to an attack.

If it’s just regular cuddling, and he does it with all the kids, and you’re only concerned about the step daughter, I’d say you’re wrong and blowing it out of proportion. But, the way you described the cuddling does seem a bit iffy to me.

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Spooning is sexual, the fact that he’s ignored your request is inappropriate on many levels. You can cuddle your child without being sexual.

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It sounds like you are wanting to exclude your daughter from another relationship. If he can’t be dad to all 3 there’s a problem. Of course be alert. That’s a great mom to have a watchful eye. You are going to push your partner away and your daughter will do the same.

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If you see any different behavior than yes but otherwise there’s no problem at least of what you told us !

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I’m raising 6 kids 2 stepdaughters and a stepson and 2 sons and a daughter of my own, my husband cuddles with all the kids. Not so much the older ones now that they’re teens, but he did. If you’re getting mad at him for showing his kids affection it sounds like you don’t trust him. If that’s the case, why be with him. I have never once thought yeah you shouldn’t be cuddling her with my husband. I think Awww look at them together.

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See this is very hard because I can’t see whats going on so I cant 100% analyze but I feel like my own thoughts have already been pretty much mentioned earlier so I’ll summarize:

  1. cuddling kids in a normal parental way is not wrong, bio or not, you adopted the kids so they are YOURS
  2. if the TYPE of cuddling seems inappropriate that is a red flag, bio or not, bio family can be abusers too
  3. if you suspect dangerous/inappropriate behavior then get out, wtf.
  4. finally, if nothing is actually inappropriate (big “if” right there) and you just don’t want your SO to treat all the children equally then you’re gonna alienate the shit out of your oldest and that us messed up.

Just forcing daddy issues on your girls from a young age :roll_eyes: maybe if my dad had cuddled me I wouldn’t have become a drug addict (Who has now been in recovery for 5 yrs btw) or seeked attention from men of all ages starting at a young age… at least that’s what my psychiatrist has come to conclude.

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Would you let her bio-dad cuddle their 4 year old daughter? Maybe you should leave that man and let him go be a good daddy to someone’s else’s kid who will let him love their kid unconditionally.

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If you don’t trust him with your kids why are you with him?

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Love and affection from a father figure is extremely important to children, especially girls. let them build a bond, unless hes given you a reason not to trust him?

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It’s completely upsetting seeing people shame her for a red flag that’s she’s clearly questioning herself. Growing up I had several male friends of my moms be inappropriate towards my sister and I and no one told me it was wrong. Who the fuck tells a 12 year old girl they have DSL lips?? Pay attention to the flags your gut sends off. However it isn’t fair to say he can’t cuddle all the babies, acting one way towards one kid and another towards the other will only cause issues later. If she was a teenager ya I can see spooning being inappropriate but with a 4 year old ? What makes me mostly concerned are the other “certain acts that’s are just not ok” SOMETHING has these flags going off, not just the cuddling.

I think this bond is important. You maybe over sexualizing the situation, but then again we don’t know your past. If you feel uncomfortable then it’s more of an in depth conversation that you need to have with yourself and then with your spouse.

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Umm if you dont trust him amd his intentions why have kids with him ? Clearly he loves his step daughter as his own that’s what most people hope for . But if you feel like he has dark intentions then I would let him around any of kids not just the ones that arnt his …

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My girls dad’s cuddle them all the time they prefer daddy cuddles more then mommy cuddles (I think it’s a daddys girl thing) but I have 100% trust in him hence why we decided to have kids together in the first place

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So what you’re really saying is you don’t trust your fiancé?..

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Every man is not a child molester.

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Let me guess, you were touched inappropriately as a child, perhaps molested or raped in your youth? I don’t know why you think it’s ok to have sex with men, and babies with men, if you don’t trust men. Go to therapy. Get help. Then try again. But don’t you shame this man for showing affection to a girl who needs fatherly affection if you expect her to turn out more well adjusted than you, unless you’re absolutely certain he’s the issue, and not you, or unless your daughter mentions he did something explicitly inappropriate.

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Then you shouldn’t be able to cuddle your kids either!
I cuddle all my boys and you best believe I’m not gonna stop and I’d knock a mother fucker out if they ever suggested it was anything more!!!

You’re definitely over reacting :woman_facepalming: my step dad has been my step dad since I was 3 years old, I’m 24 now and I could still walk in my parents house and go cuddle my daddy on the couch :woman_shrugging:
Unless he’s given you other reasons not to trust him (in which case why are you still with him?) let him be daddy and do what dads are supposed to do, love their children.

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I think maybe you should look into why you feel this is a problem. He is being a father, and showing love and support to a child. Children crave love and affection. I really think you should seek help and figure out why you feel the way you do.

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If you have to question your current fiance by showing your daughter fatherly love and affectionate I dont think you should be with him. Your gut and heart are telling you something ! I have a step dad and I cuddled with him at a young age and never did or tries anything with me . This is something you need to look further into your relationship amongst yourselves and not punish the child by not allowing him to cuddle with her if you allow it to happen with his biological children. That will cause hate and friction in your relationship with your daughter. She wants to feel loved too dont take that away from her if you do take it away from all the children not just her. And follow your mother intuition !!!

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You are the one with the wrong mind if you think that your fiance being affectionate to your children is wrong. My fiance isn’t biologically the father of any of my children but emotionally, physically, and financially he is their father. My youngest is almost 2 and she comes in and lays down in bed with my fiance during naptime and has him put on lilo and stitch. She’s a daddy’s girl and he has to get a nap in before work, EMT with 24 hour shifts.

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There’s a psychologist, SF. Who had said women look for a man who reminded her of her dad and that women are jealous of their daughters. Something like that, because the daughter is a younger version of you. It could be your hormones, or worried he would be doing something inappropriate with her, it could be jealousy or a mix of it all. Do you trust him? My mom was jealous of me around her husband, my step dad.

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Would you feel the same way if your daughter was a son? Would you as the mom of a son not cuddle up with him ? I am just asking because I cuddle up with my son’s and No it is not sexual or weird to me but each person has different. Does your husband do this with all the children or just this one? Asking because it might be a problem if he seems to favour and be overly affectionate to just this one child

I always say follow your gut BUT my daughter is almost 8, her step dad came into her life when she had just turned 3 and they are very close, my daughters father is in her life but has never had her over night, and he isnt very touchy feely so she doesnt get that physical touch type love from him and shes very affectionate physically, because of me and my mom. I dont mind when she wakes up and wants to go sleep with my husband (he works nights so he sleeps in) she’ll do lay next to him, they dont spoon but they generally lay face to with her arm over him and he’ll usually caress her face or hair which is what she likes best. It doesnt make me uncomfortable. I chose to trust him and show her that she can love him like a father so why would I try to stop that? Especially now that we moved away from our hometown and she will be seeing her father and then other men in her life (grandpa’s and uncles) less.

Sounds like he’s being a normal dad and accepting of your daughter as his own, and maybe the problem lies in you. Positive touch is very importany for children.

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Unless he has ever made you feel some type of way of never trusting him around the kids then you don’t have to make shit weird your lucky he steps up as a dad an does what he is most fathers an step dad won’t even show the love he is and why keep having kids with him if this is such a concern to you ?? The children deserve time to cuddle with dads too I know my sons would kill for that because they don’t have that just me so be thankful some one loves your children as much as you do … stop making it weird if there is nothing happening stop looking for a reason if their isn’t one

If you feel like he’s a child molester than leave him but accusing him of wanting to is BULLSHIT. You’re being rude

Chyna McClinton :expressionless::expressionless::expressionless::expressionless::expressionless:

I think you might have something wrong with you by looking at it like a sexual act. I’m not sure of your past, but sounds like he’s trying to be a father figure and not a sexual predator. If you really think that he would hurt your child, why are you with him and having his baby? You might need to seek counseling for these things because you might need to unravel some layers to find out why your thoughts are leading to this…

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Why have kids with a man you can’t trust to show your children love & affection

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NO NO NO your not wrong that should not happen whats he going to be like when the girls are 13 or 14 thats when trouble starts put a STOP to it right now or you will regret it for ever good luck xx

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You all are a sorry peice of shit for judging her. You never know what someone is capable of and they do something you never thought would happen to your child you can know this person for years bottom line go with your gut feeling and no you are not wrong how you feel ask your daughter a few questions when it’s just you two and tell her she is safe with you

If you don’t trust him around your child you shouldn’t have had kids with him…

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You are so wrong. Stop sexualizing cuddling. I LOVED cuddles with my dad. It’s healthy. Just because a man is cuddling with your daughter’s doesn’t mean it has to be wrong. NOT EVERYTHING IS SEXUAL. He has every right just like you do.

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4 year old should be put in a pre-school maybe. I don’t know what ‘spooning’ is. Doesn’t sound good though. What I can say is teach her ‘just say no’ and explain to her. OR get a child’s book and sit with her and go through it. Be aware. How long has he been around? A couple of years at least. There are good stepfathers then there are the ‘others’. Our family got the ‘other.’ My sister was sexually abused. Your fiancé should abide by your requests.

Why are you taking away a bond that is forming! Unless its sexual and i doubt it if you re with him.

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Wow you have issues. That is not inappropriate touching.

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It’s okay to cuddle with your daughters… would you cuddle with your son??? What’s the difference? If you don’t trust him then you should most definitely not be with him or keep having kids with him. I love seeing my husband and our daughter cuddled up. I never had that with my dad and wanted it desperately. I actually get mad when he’s not around her that much :woman_shrugging:t2: let him be a father/father figure to her unless you feel that there is something going on that shouldn’t be, then I guess you better just get your butt out of there. Otherwise I don’t feel like you have any valid reason to be upset. It’s sweet he treats her like that. A lot of step parents wouldn’t.

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Honestly have you talked to your child about Inappropriate touch? How does your daughter feel? Does she feel uncomfortable when cuddling? I’m not saying you’re wrong, but if you can’t trust him why have your kids around him?

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If a father doesn’t touch their child the child will not know how to touch their own children.

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Hidden camera just to quiet your doubts… ask your daughter about it… but how are you suppose to leave your babies with him then… i feel your fear is comming more from your past… really odk… but if it issssss that he is going to far and because of it you end up protecting your daughter…then better safe than sorry… but… your going to have no fiance, no dad step dad… you are going to end up alone… idk… good luck w that

I’ve read a lot of the comments.
There are A LOT with good points.
The truth is there’s not enough information.
What other acts? Is he a registered sex offender? Was he accused?
These are things that were left out. Either because the other acts were completely parental and there’s no history.
Or you’re afraid of being judged…and yes. If that’s the case. If you’ve stayed. Continuing to have children and leave your children with him…you should be.

Going off what was written alone…
You need to take a step back and take a breath.

  1. Describing them cuddling as spooning says more about your mind frame then his actions.
    My 2 year old woke up and My husband brought him into me at 2 am. He wouldn’t go back to sleep or settle down…until i let him lay on his side with me behind him. He used my bottom arm for a pillow and my top arm was wrapped around him. His feet were propped up on my leg.
    This wasn’t a sexual thing. It was comfort/security thing.
    It was also a good position to get up from without waking him up.
  2. You one chile and another on the way by him. You’ve been with him for at least 2 years. You continue leaving your children alone with him. This is not the actions of a woman who truly doesn’t trust her partner…who is suspicious that there’s some kind of abuse going on.
  3. So the question is. What’s really bothering you? What is the root cause to your discomfort.
    Were you abused as a child and now projecting that onto your own and demonizing the man you CHOSE to be with?
    Are you (as others have suggested) jealous? Either of her affection for him or his attention to her?

Cuddling is one of the BEST parts of being a parent. Its important for a healthy bond. For both the parent and the child. It helps them feel secure and actually helps them develop independence and autonomy.

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Do not sexualize a bonding relationship between your daughter and her step dad you need to pull your daughter aside privately and ask her if he makes her uncomfortable or if he touches her in her private areas and listen to her. You need to communicate to you spouse why you are so upset and apologize in my opinion healthy male father figure relationships are EXTREMELY important especially at this age she watches y’alls relationship to gauge her future ones. I feel as if more communication is needed here with your daughter about why YOU are uncomfortable and why YOU are upset because all she can understand is that shes not allowed to bond with her step dad she doesn’t understand YOUR point of view

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My dad is not my biological dad. My mom had the same issues you do, but my dad loving us both and wanting to stay in our lives respected her decision and did not. The only time he would was when I was upset he would hold me but never cuddle me to sleep unless she was around. As i got older she got more comfortable but he respected her decision. And yes she had two other kids with him.

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This is absolutely ridiculous. Shes 4 years old. You should be happy that he loves your child like his own and that she feels comfortable enough with him to snuggle. Sounds like you dont trust him which is confusing to me considering youre marrying him and have 2 other children with him. Honestly i feel sorry for him. It must really suck to love someone and their child that isnt yours biologically yet get treated like a child molester. I cant imagine how that makes him feel. Maybe you should look into therapy or something bc it seems like there may be an underlying issue here that maybe stems from something that happened to you as a child. My step father came into mine and my brothers lives when we were very young (i was 3 or 4 years and my little brother was 6 months old) he raised my little brother as his own and even after he and my mom broke up he still saw my little brother every weekend and even now that my brother is 25 they still have a close relationship. Same with me. I still talk to him, my daughter calls him grampa. When i was a little kid between like 3 and 7ish he always played with me and treated me like his own. Shit i think we even cuddled on the couch a few times when i was really young. Not all men are child molesters.

Reads to me like you may have some unresolved issues. Not all men are molesters and I feel like you are treating your husband like he is. Unless your child has expressed that something is wrong or she doesnt like it I dont see anything wrong with it. You are having children with this man and expecting him to love all your children the same and provide for them, i think its selfish and your own issues that has you are shaming him for being a good dad. If you cant trust him to cuddle with your daughter you should have never had children with him or started a relationship. It’s unfair to him & has to be heartbreaking to know his “partner” sees him as a predator. I just dint see the need to tewat him that way if there is no legitimate reason other then “you dont like it” makes you sound jealous and kinda shitty…just my opinion though.

Is it inappropriate? Has he done something to make you feel this is wrong? Were you abused? Not enough info but from what I read you’re over reacting a lot. Does he cuddle his child? Kids need affection lady

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There seems to be something else, maybe a gut feeling you’re having…? Follow. you. gut. and do what you need to. It’s your daughter,it’s your call.

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Would you let him cuddle with the one that is biologically his…

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Is this real life? If you are 100% wrong. If I were him, I’d be really cautious with you.

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If it wasn’t for my step dad I wouldn’t of had a dad, I’m all grown now and STILL have time for a hug, since when did it become wrong for a parent or step parent to show affection for the children they are helping raise!!! I have 2 step children as well as 4 of my own and I treat them all with love and affection!!! If you don’t trust the man as has already been said, why on gods green earth would you have babies with him!!! He has every right to be mad!!!

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Why are you having kids with someone when you don’t trust them and think he’s being sexual when he’s just cuddling ?

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Ur trippin fr smh if u think its inappropriate there is something wrong w you NOT him !!!

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Opinions are like assholes everyone has them…but trust me if your child is being molested and your oblivious to the changes in their behavior than you obviously don’t pay attention to your child! Ppl are so ignorant

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