“I’d really like to decorate my own baby shower, if you’d like, I could really use some help putting things together.”
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Just tell her it’s something you were looking forward to doing and ask her if she can help you with ideas. It doesn’t have to be a big thing!
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It’s rude of you …when the shower is given by others …they choose.
Tell her you already have someone who is helping you.
Maybe that’s her way of trying to get close? Be the bigger person and let her.
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Typically the person having the baby doesnt do her own shower. A little tacky. Let her do it, it will be nice. It’s her grandchild and she is excited. After all it just decorations! Lighten up
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Choose your battles… say thank u and be grateful for the help in having the shower. Be grateful not hateful
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No one is going to remember the decor - appease her.
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Go shopping with her and you pick them out
I would just say thank you so much. I’ll send you some ideas of what I had in mind. Then send her stuff you like and offer to help her
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Let her do it. She isn’t asking to decorate the baby’s room.
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You are lucky someone is doing it for you. I’ve had 5 babies and never had a shower 
I’m sure it would be nice.
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“I would love that! Thank you so much for wanting to do this. I was thinking some X, Y, and Z would be great ideas/look really cute. Did you have anything in mind?”
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Let her do it like it or not she is part of your life now and forever it is her grandchild.
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call her up and just say hey! i really have a certain image for how i want so i was thinking maybe its something soecial we could do together. if she still tries to take over after that then get a little firmer but yall finna have events for 18 years together and it can be awkward if you dont like each other. my fam didnt jive with my exes and it led to 2 bdays every year and 2 christmases and it was exhausting
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Tell her you have them handled and ask her to be in charge of something else
I hate to say this but be grateful you even got that. With my eldest sons pregnancy, my ex mother in law was the only person to throw me a baby shower. She was the only one who wanted to and actually did it. Now that I’m on my second, no one has even bought one thing for the baby, let alone offered to do my shower. I’m almost half tempted to opt out of a baby shower this time because no one even seems interested. Be grateful, I get you may want it a certain way. But pregnancy isn’t always about us mommas, the pregnancy matters to the people who are involved. Your partners mom is excited to be a grandma, be grateful for that and appreciate her efforts 
xoxo
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First time moms 
its cute. But by your 3rd you wont care about anyyyyy of that. Lol pick your battles especially with an inlaw and by all means draw your boundries. Just dont over think the small stuff. You have a human to grow and raise. I promise you the decoration at your baby shower wont matter in 10 years
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Be greatful and appreciate that she wants to do anything for you. I didn’t get a baby shower because Covid hit right when I was supposed to have it. But I would have been so greatful just to have the shower and anything anyone wanted to do for me.
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I can see a post in your future ( my boyfriend’s mom never includes me and my kids in anything I don’t know why she doesn’t like me)
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Why not just the 2 of you work together on it
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Isn’t whoever is throwing the baby shower in charge of decorations??
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while it feels like a huge deal today, in a few years that day will not be so important, but she will remember how you made her feel about wanting to be included. You can choose to let her help and be excited about and try to love her ideas or you can say no and things will always be that you are a “control freak” bc that’s what she will think.
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Do it together! Let her be part of helping.
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You say to her I’ve hired someone to do it I don’t want anyone to have any stress on the day
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I just showed up to my baby showers. I didn’t know the mom-to-be was supposed to be involved in the plans.
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Roll with the punches lol you don’t know it yet but you are gonna need a babysitter and breaks so pick your battles and you’re hormonal right now in a few months you will be thinking why was it such a big deal
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Get ordering stuff and tell her that where it’s a very kind offer, you’ve already sorted the decs as you already knew what you wanted
Just tell her the theme you want and blend what you buy and she buys .
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Tell her that decorating is already taken care of but you would love it if she were to do cute themed food, bake a cake, etc…whatever different assignment you want to give her.
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This is your baby shower so just tell her you don’t mean to be rude but you are going to be decorating your baby shower and you appreciate that you want to be helpful and let her know that she can do something else. Stand your ground and make it known if she doesn’t like it.
Tell her about some of the ideas you have and see what she and you agree on
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I had no say in the decorations for my baby shower, I didn’t know I was supposed to. I thought the person having the shower did that.
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Say yes you can help.
Be gracious. Say thank you… stop being a control freak.
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I asked my daughter in law what theme she would like. Open up a conversation with her. I went with the baby theme for our grandsons room for the baby shower as well. Just bring it to her attention of what you are thinking. She sounds like she may be excited about the baby and really wants to be involved. Communication is the key:+1:
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Back off the control issues… she will be in your life for years to come. Tell her your theme and ask her to
Keep to that. Its a baby shower not the nursery.
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Must be nice to get a baby shower I wouldn’t care the theme
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The mom to be is Not supposed to be giving herself a shower. Let grandma do it. Wow. Wish I had problems soo easy to solve
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I just had a baby shower for my daughter. My daughter’s opinion on decorations mattered to me. She helped me pick them out, I ordered them and his Mom and sister helped decorate. Nothing wrong with including them.
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Tell her to pull her head in,
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Tell her that this is something every mother to be looks forward to doing thats it
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Well since you guys aren’t close mayby you and her can decorate together and get to know each other.
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Let her do it! Give her one thing you would like and let her go with it😊 maybe it will help you two get to know each other better.
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Well I’m mother in law I would like for my daughter in law to be happy and what she once is better and if she ask me too do something else I would be happy with that and I also like what Ms.Brennan said that would be good too good luck to you
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Just be honest with her
Tell her what kinda theme you are going for. If someone is nice enough to throw you a shower you should be thankful!
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Its just decorations. Let her have that…tell her the theme you like, and ideas you have. Maybe you can work together.
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Who is throwing the baby shower? That person usually does the decorating
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Let her help. She wants to help. They are just decorations. They may not be perfect to you but atleast she is trying. She will be excited and just wants to be a part of this.
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Let her do it. I bet it would far above what you would you might do. Especially If this the first grandchild if you kudos with the mother-in-law from someone who has been married 58 years. I think sometimes daughters in law build walls and not bridges. They try and pull the son away from his family. No that didn’t happen to me. Why? Because I kept my nose out of their business. But safe to say I think letting her do it will build a bridge.
Always thought the one giving the shower pick a n d did decorations .i remember my 2 my neighbor and a lady from church all we had was cake,chips,dranks.mints,which that was in the early 80’s I was quite happy .U didn’t have a mother to give me one age got her angel wings when I was very young.The in laws didn’t offer to give me one bit it didn’t bother me,botheresy husband but not me.Im just that way happy go lucky
Just tell her you are going to plans it, but you can help
Actually …you should not be throwing yourself a baby shower!!The person throwing the shower usually does the decorations. ( To throw yourself a baby shower is seen as begging for presents and with out class.) When I threw a baby shower for my step-daughter I allowed her to choose the decorations as it really didn’t matter. It’s not about the decorations anyway…it’s about people wanting to help you welcome your baby into the world…You really should have NO SAY in the decoration!!
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Enjoy not having money for your own shower. Save that money for your baby and to purchase things you don’t receive as gifts
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Why is it so important to you? Decor is just that Decor!
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Just tell her you want to do it but would appreciate the help
Its rude, you have an an grateful nerve
Ask her to help you and then send her ideas for what you want. You van control the situation while still being kind. Shes excited too. I’d love to have a MIL care enough and give a hoot about my kids
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So tell her thank you and remind her that the nursery is going to be whatever you choose. That at least will give her your thoughts
Take her shopping for decorations and show her your theme (pictures of what you where thinking). Go for coffee get to know her.
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Let her help. Send her pictures of what you like or want as inspiration and let her help. She’s probably just excited and wants to help out sometimes grandparents can feel excluded when it comes to things for the baby.
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At least she wants to be involved. My ex’s mom showed up to the shower for my son and just talked shit about her son(my ex)to anyone who would listen. She wasnt invited to the one for my daughter and didn’t give a single rats ass. So I’d just be happy she wants to help and let her do it.
It was all prepared for me too.
Sounds like she’s trying to get close and your being a bit frigid.
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The Mom to be is NOT in charge of anything about the shower other than provide a guest list for invites…
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No one is there for the decorations… Trust me. They want free food and dessert.
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Say no and ask for other help if thats what you want to to do it.
Don’t be like that! Let her do it and be appreciative! Be thankful she wants to help and be evolved.
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Allocate workfor her.
You are a person who like to be in controll! Who is giving this baby shower anyway? They should be handeling this. Let her do it.
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Be happy and enjoy it because I’ve never been thrown a baby shower! I’m about to gave baby #3 and I don’t have anyone to throw me one. I’d be excited and thankful if I had a mother in law that wanted to do it!!!
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Whoever is having the shower, should be the one deciding who will do the decorating
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Since when do mothers give their own baby shower?
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How it is unclassy/tacky to plan your own baby shower some people just don’t have the support system. Or their support system can’t afford it. I’m VERY grateful my in-laws and my parents together threw me a surprise shower. BUT I have been to numerous parent thrown parties and now once every thought wow that’s tacky or not classy. Be nice people! Jesus.
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I say suck it up and let her do it, Hate to tell you, but you won’t regret it. Our parents and mother/father in-laws won’t to be here forever and you will make her day! Also, you might be surprised and it will be a great memory for you and your little one. Plus, she will always and I mean always be doing the little extras for you because of this one kindness. Think about it!
This would be a good time to get a little closer with her … let her do it … let her know what you and your boyfriend have decided on for the nursery to give her an idea of how to decorate for the shower … just don’t be rude maybe this is her way of saying she would like to be part of your life too since it is her grand baby as well
I kind of feel sorry for your husband.
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If its ur boyfriend. Baby daddys mom, just say when you talk to her that you have “been thinking of your own ideas for a long time and now you can really do them” but that she can help by helping you pick up a certain thing or make a food dish or to comfort her a touch buy like a cute baby onesie that says i love my grandma or something…good luck
Tell her yes as long as she follows your colour scheme/theme or just be happy that she is willing to do it for you, because most people don’t have a MIL nice enough to even offer.
Who’s throwing the baby shower? That’s who should be in charge of decorating.
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Listen don’t do it I let someone be in charge and the whole shower you could tell it was what they liked, my other 2 showers were great though 
Ask her to come up with a game or two and she can decorate one or two tables. Let her know that others want to decorate too. Always be thankful! She is trying to show love in her own way.
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“Oh that’s so sweet but that part is already taken care of. Thank you for being so sweet.”
Ask for something else.
But she’s the grandma … You should probably try to be close.
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Jan Myers is right. Pick your battles.
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Why not agree but it is KNOWN you have final day on everything less stress on you and you both win
Just say “thank you and I appreciate but i already picked out the decorations but I can use help with “ whatever you want her to help with .
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You’re not supposed to decorate your own shower… kinda weird & definitely controlling
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Y’all are mean. It’s just a question. There is more to her story than a question. Some of y’all didn’t learn if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say it.
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Don’t let her do it, my fiancé’s mom ruined both of my baby showers and it got really bad.
OR why not give her the theme and color scheme you’re wanting, have her call you when she sees or finds something to make sure you’re okay with it and like it
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Depends, is she throwing you the shower or are you doing your own?
I threw my own baby shower, and I didn’t want anyone decorating but me either! I had a theme and had been dreaming of this for many years… I do not think it’s selfish in the slightest to have the shower you want! Just politely say you have a vision and would love to create your dream shower 
I had my sister’s and mom in law do the food and helped me decorate with my themed stuff it was great! 
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Have her in charge of games and food and you can set up the decorations then you both win and it can be a bonding thing you guys do together
It sounds like she just wants to be a part of something… so give her something…
Maybe ask if the two of you could do it together? Then you could get to know each other a little better too. In my experience (I should add though, I do NOT get along with my mother in law) when it comes to a special event, hurt feelings can end up ruining the whole day a lot more than decorations you dont like.
Are your throwing your own baby shower??
Whoever is giving you the shower is 8n charge of everything and can delegate.
I would allow her full artistic license to decorate the baby shower. Such things build bridges of friendship. Please enjoy your decorations and admire them even if they’re not exactly to your taste. Congratulations on your pregnancy and have a wonderful family life. 
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Just let her, wow!
You won’t regret it
Also add a few that you want.
Big deal
There are far bigger battles with MIL’s then this🙄
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Could it be possible that you don’t take these kind of things your mother does for you for granted and show her some appreciation for being involve instead. How would you feel if your kid did that to you someday. Your breaking her heart. I wish my mother did something like that for me. Some don’t even have a mother any longer, so while they are still here, love them and appreciate everything they do for you. Let her bc one day, you won’t have her doing anything for you.
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