Saying no is not rude.
Maybe like find a way to combine your ideas and make it a bonding time? Like both suggesting types of games, food, decoration discussing etc. Maybe later u would find yourself a lot more comfortable with her before the little one comes.
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Tell her the truth !
Just tell her no thanx. Be straight with her, saves both yall time.
So with that said.
I’d rather her be in charge of decorating a baby shower than saying ummm idk I need to be in the delivery room. Calm down let this be a form of bonding.
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Tell her you’ve got that part under control but then give her a task to perform so she can feel like she’s a part as well. You never know, you may end up being great friends.
You will absolutely need friends and family once the baby is here! I’d say dont alienate MIL already and appreciate her for trying to take a job off your hands. I didnt have any say what so ever in mine and you know what, it was still amazing and had me tearing up that people cared that much!
Be thankful you have someone willing to throw you a shower, I’m on my 5th baby and have never had a baby shower.
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“Aww it’s sweet of you to want to do that for me. But I am actually doing the decorations myself, but thank you for offering though”…. Personally I would say something similar to that🙂
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Just ring her and say thanks for the offer it’s really appreciated but you have started the process already and you are really excited . Maybe give her another job to do. Tell her you are looking forward to seeing her and if she wants to help on the big day it will be much appreciated. We(Your Mother) have to be ok with what you decide, it’s your baby and your day enjoy it.
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Just say you’re not sure of how you want to decorate yet so maybe you could work on it together. You will need help blowing up balloons. 
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You just politely tell her that you want to be the one doing it! I don’t know I didn’t have this problem I mean me and my girlfriend was the ones doing mine baby shower
It’s a nice suggestion but I’d let her know you’d want to be involved with the decorations also. Maybe yall can run some ideas together
If she is giving the baby shower then it should be her choice and a fun surprise for mom to be. If not, ask her to help in another way especially since she is a grandparent. She probably just wants to be included.
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Some of these responses sound like ur decorating a babys room versus decorations 4 an actual Baby Shower.
As someone else mention a baby shower is usually done as a gift 4 the expecting Mother.
There is no reason why u couldn’t give ur ideas.
Maybe say you love that she wants to be a part of the shower decor. Let her know youve been planning your decorations for a long time and would appreciate her help in recreating what you have. Find some oins on pinterest that are exactly like you want it…but choose your colors and sit down with her to go over all your pins.share them with her. Also, on things you dont mind flexibility with say" would you mind setting this up how you like, because this is one of the few things I hadnt envisioned." Oh just let her know you appreciate her desire to help (most women love to decorate for parties) and know you have particular tastes and hope she isnt offended that you already have a vision for it but rather than “being in charge of” youd really like her help in “achieving your dream”
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A baby shower is given like a gift. Most mothers have very little to no control over it. Women in the family give you a shower. I say accept the help with a little grace.
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Politely tell her that someone else is already in charge of that and give her a choice between two other things she can do to feel helpful, something that won’t upset you or her. At least she wants to help. My baby shower was a nightmare!
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Just No. If you don’t stand up for yourself she will seize every moment she can going forward. This is your shower your memories. Just be chill like “I got it. I got my heart set on a theme”.
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I don’t think it would be rude, maybe have your boyfriend tell her that you wanna do the decorating and that you already have a vision of what you want it to look like
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I’m sure she just wants to do something important FOR YOU. Let her have this and relax and enjoy the day.
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Honesty is the best policy. Tell her just that. You have the next 18+years with this lady. Talk, communicate… be glad she wants to be there(single mom of ten years alone in this battle), just guide her in how u feel. Much love and congratulations💯
Sorry but you are the queen of this shower, not the decorator, baker or candlestick maker. Sit back and let others do it all. This is a way for you & mil to get closer
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Talk to your husband an tell him you’re anxiety an see if he will help you with your stress that’s all it is just relax pray an tell your Dr what is going on with things see if he or she can help with something for stress that won’t hurt the baby or guidence
Just tell her you want to decorate it because you have ideas for your own baby, but that she can contribute in some other way (get desserts)
Well just tell her “I have already started with the theme and decoration ideas that I would want, maybe we can schedule something to meet at my house and discuss what Im envisioning, I would love an extra pair of hands” or I have these other tasks that I have pending if u would like to take over them. She’s family and maybe it would be a good time to bond a little more with her if she’s wanting to…you are blessed to have willing people to offer help.
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See here’s my opinion on this matter ! A SIMPLE CONVERSATION! On this simple issue is the best remedy for the future wellness of a strong family line for your child! Selfish parents want to love there child exclusively but selfless parents dont mind to those none beneficial traits there worry is the living harmoniously with both sides you feel me!?¿¡
She might be trying to make amends or just really trying to make you upset figure out that before hand
Just tell her that you don’t want to be rude or sound mean but you had plans to decorate your own baby shower and had something in mind already. Tell her that you would like for her to be over food are something. I would give her something to do just not decorating
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Oh, I appreciate your offer. Bit i had already gotten it all taken care of. It there another way you’d like help?
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My mom and my ex mom teamed up after I told my ex mom that my mom was doing it but she could get with her and they both could. She was OK with that and understood. Just be polite about it and explain why. Best of luck
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If she offered to give you a shower, its her choice. If you had chosen to do your own shower, its your choice. Ask her if you can help her so both are happy.
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Say that one of your closest friends is organising it. Take it out of her hands.
First of all… Whos throwing the shower?
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Be gracious and humble and except her sincere wishes to do something for you.
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Well, tell her just that! You would like to do the decorations and she is more than welcome to help you!
Welcome the help and explain what you would like…communication is key.
Let her be in charge. A good way to get tnow her
Tell her to help with food instead
Maybe just say it would be lovely for her to help you out with the decorations as you want it a certain way so it would be lovely for the help n arrange a dag to go get decorations and tell her how u want everything then maybe ask if shed like to be incharge of like the food or something, just include her but gently sayin you want it a certain way so u will still be in charge x
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If your not married to the father, do what you want.
Just tell her you already planed on doing it
you are going to need this lady 
Baby showers are given by people and you absolutely don’t do nothing except show up eat open all your gifts and mingle and say thank you to everybody
You can tell her that she can help you because you already have a theme in mind. This will also allow you too to get to know each other better. This will also show you her taste in decorations if there are any future events that she may want to decorate which may allow you to feel comfortable then. You can also tell her that if she doesn’t want to help you then she can be in charged of something else that you are comfortable with letting her run.
Either tell her no or let her do it. Simple
Whew. All of yall are way nicer than me. I’d just tell her and she gets mad that’s a her problem not a you problem.
Have two showers
Or
Decorate the nursery in the shower theme
I would be straight up, tell her you I’m sorry but I appreciate the offer, but I already had it planned out a certain way and it’s taken care of. Then ask her if she has like a certain cake idea and see if she might be interested in being in charge of food and her ideas on that. Just be honest and tell her you already had something set for a long time.
When I was with my ex his mother wanted to plan my wedding, and tried telling me it’s a 2 year prosses. And that she had the perfect thing because she didn’t get the wedding she wanted and blah blah blah. I had to tell her straight up, my wedding ideas are already planned it’s not going to take 2 years and it’s my wedding not hers, she is doing to me what others did to her that.she didn’t get the wedding she wanted and then told her that, everything that needs to be done is by the maid of honor and the maid of honor is either my sister or my best friend, not soon to be mother in laws. I never got married. That was over 10 years ago. Now my ideas have changed so much. But I am not getting married any time soon.
Hey mother in law don’t worry about the decorations… I got it … But I do need help with this… Try it in sweet tone that way you don’t offend her
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I don't want my boyfriend's mom being in charge of my baby shower decorations: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
O boy! You’re starting on a good footing with your maybe future mother in law!
Tell her to fuck off
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No it’s not rude at all this is bout you and baby…
Stand up now if not it will get worse
Just No now is the time to defend yourself.
You could say something like, “I am so grateful for your offer, but I was really looking forward to doing the decorations myself and have already started the process!” And suggest something else she could do to help
I’m a little surprised that you’re doing any of the decisions for this….unless you’re throwing yourself a baby shower…?
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Just tell her you already have a theme in mind and what you want to do. If she wants to help with that then by all means help.
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Just let her do it. Baby showers are done for you. You have no role except to show up and be adorable. Your boyfriend’s mom is investing in you and that’s a good sign that she wants to foster a relationship. However, if your boyfriend, in general, doesn’t stand up to his mom there will be mounds of trouble later on.
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Baby showers are hard work if she wants to just let her less work for you
Arnt baby showers ment to be done for you not you do it your self x
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Have two showers - her throw one and you have yours
If you don’t put your foot down now and speak up this is going to be the Rest of your LIFE !! you don’t need to be rude about it but it’s YOUR baby. Your shower. Your decision. Speak up !! Your gonna be a mom! It’s time to handle your business
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I don't want my boyfriend's mom being in charge of my baby shower decorations: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
Imagine your son growing up getting married his wife having a baby I bet your going to want to decorate that babyshower someday your mother-in-law wants to be a part of her Sons baby’s life just let her 
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When I threw my daughter in laws shower, I really did it up cute. She loved it. You don’t know what your mother-in-law has planned for you! Maybe she will really make it pretty for you! I would discuss what you want with her, or the colors you want, and then she will know. Tell her to get a special cake if nothing else.
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I would do as many suggested and let her know you had some ideas, and would love to work together on the decor.
On the flip side, it was so nice just to be able to walk into my shower and not have had to do anything for it. I walked in, enjoyed myself, visited with people, open presents and then when I was tired the host pulled me aside and told me to go home and rest that she and her sister (both my friends) had clean up. My mom brought all of the gifts to my house for me. It honestly was the very best day.
I wouldn’t worry too much. She is probably excited and this is her way to try and build a relationship with you.
Another thought- maybe you have a friend/sister who can be in “charge” of the shower and can work with you mil on the decorations. This way you still get what you want, but someone else is doing the planning.
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I would just let her know that I already have someone decorating, but it would be so helpful if she could do “insert thing here.”
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Is your relationship strained? Or just not built up to closeness yet? If it’s the first one, I’d politely tell her decorations are already covered but give her something else to do. If it’s the latter, let her know you already know what you’re wanting for decorations but you’d love her help to bring your vision to life. Gives her a chance to bond with you. It’s her grand baby so she is probably excited.
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Let her do it! But send her some ideas of colours and styles you like. She seems like she’s trying to be helpful so give her a chance.
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Decorate together and get to know her. She is going to be a part of your life forever and it would be great to get close to her for your sake and especially for the baby’s sake.
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Sorry but why are you giving yourself a baby shower! Usually one of your good friends gives it for you! Never heard of one giving herself a shower! Let your boyfriends mom decorate! Maybe you need to be alittle bit nicer to her!
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Wow things have really changed since I last helped with a baby shower. You are the honoree and should not have to be concerned with the plans of your own shower. Aren’t the hostesses supposed to take care of it all including the decorations ? Same goes for the future grandmothers. Why was the bf’s mom calling you about it ? We always acknowledged grandmas as special guests along with the future mom Are you giving your own baby shower ???
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I just had my baby shower and my sister in law was in charge of decorating. She asked me what colors or theme I wanted. I sent her inspiration photos from Instagram and she handled it from there. It came out better than the inspiration pics and I couldn’t be more happy.
It’s all about Visual communication with what you want to the people who are decorating. The more visual picture description the better.
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Tell how kind she is to make this offer, but it’s really something you need to do for yourself, maybe you could give her a job to do, so she does feel included.
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I’d say let her as she is trying to get closer to you and help out. It’s nicer to just let her. However maybe you could send her some pics of ideas you like to help inspire her. Hopefully she will find things similar to what you wanted.
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Tell her you have already picked out your decorations and ask if there is something else that she could do to take some of the burden off of you. Make her feel needed.
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Are you throwing your own shower? Everyone I’ve gone to is decorated by the host who offers to throw the shower. But if you want to do it tell here what you really need is help with the food or stuffing and addressing invitations. That would be nice so that you get to spend time together.
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Let her know that the decorations have already been handled and tell her you’d love for her to help you out with something else (mailing invitations, food, etc)
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Let her know you have a decor in mind already and ask her to help with it. As long as she is financially able to decorate the way you want.
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is the decor really a big deal? Are the people coming for that reason? Its a blessing for you and your child. She just wants to be a part of it. I don’t see it being that big of an issue. Only the shallow people there will care.
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It’s a baby shower not a wedding. Don’t stress over the small things. No one will remember or care about the decorations but they will never forget your attitude
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By inviting her to do the decorations you could become closer. Support her and compliment her on the results. In other words have her back and you could have a lifetime of close relationship. I didn’t know the person who the shower is for is expected to make any of the arrangements at all.
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I always thought that the person giving the shower does the decorations so are you giving it?
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Thank her for wanting to be involved and mention to her that the decorations have already been purchased.
But, you would love for her to help you with…
At least she’s offering to help. Who knows maybe she’ll turn out to be someone you are close with in the future. Best of luck.
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“ I would like to decorate my own shower “ bam done
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This is an absolutely absurd “problem” you’ve created. A baby shower is given to a pregnant woman. The person or persons throwing the shower are in charge of all things with the exception of asking you for a wanted guest list. You should be grateful for the thoughtful people in your life. Not insulting the persons trying to gift you presents and love. Who cares if it’s not Pinterest perfect that’s not the point.
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Don’t sweat the small stuff. Just communicate your desire for decor themes what ever. She is Grandma. Try to get along.
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“Thank you so much for your offer to decorate but this is something I’ve been really looking forward to and really want to do it myself. However, I’d really appreciate your help doing…”
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You are not supposed to be in charge of your own baby shower! This is a pretty simple thing to let go of to help establish relations with your Mother in Law.
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I don’t understand decorating for your own shower. I’m 58, old I know lol but back in the day, moms, sisters, cousins, or friends of the mom to be hosted the shower. And they were a surprise. And you were grateful. No registries. If you’re that set on decorating, tell her decorating is already taken care of. And ask if she could help with desserts or favors.
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It’s a baby shower, put it in perspective.
Are you giving the shower? If so, the decorations are your call.
If your partner’s mom is planning and giving the shower it is her call, then relax and enjoy the day.
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It is a baby shower not life or death. Let her help and enjoy the party. Is the party about decorations or people?
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Anyone who threw my baby showers (I have had three) has done the decorations.
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Who is hosting the shower? This is a big factor. I assume you aren’t but not entirely sure … some responses below will cause you a world of trouble and in truth are just plain mean. The etiquette books actually say you shouldn’t be holding your own shower anyway, therefore, you would not be decorating. Here is this “Grandmother To Be” offering to decorate your baby shower … that is a nice gesture. I assume there could very well be a wedding in your future? Guess what? Then, you get to do everything YOUR way. Quite frankly, I have never heard of the Mommy-to-be having anything to do with her shower, other than show up.
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I had a picture in my head of how I wanted and let me tell you my cousins did a way better job then I could of ever imagined plus it was nice to relax and just enjoy the day I say let her do it it gives you some relaxing and helps maybe form a little bond between you and your child’s grandparent
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Baby showers are usually done by someone other than the baby’s mom. It is a gift to the mother to be
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You will regret not including her later in life. Tell her you are already planning it a certain way you had in mind and tell her you would love for her to help maybe she wants to purchase them . In that case send her those links …
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Be thankful she offered, and gladly accept her offer. The gesture of including her will go a long way toward your relationship with her in the future.
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