Call me old fashioned but my showers were given for me by friends/family at their homes & I was thrilled, didn’t have to do anything & received gifts & had fun, it don’t get any better than that!!!
I’d say be honest. Tell her she can help you or she can do something else… it’s your baby and your shower.
it’s not her baby and for her to even think it’s OK to want to do it all is crazy! I don’t know any one who would be ok with that
Ah she may be concerned that none of your friends are hosting the baby shower, or you have no friends and family, what a kind woman.
What if you buy the decorations and help her? There has to be some compromise here. Is she so horrible that you don’t think you can tell her your feelings??
Give her a lists of likes and dislikes…or themes and guidelines to stick too.
Then she’s not pulling from the blue with things you hate but can collaborate in a helpful way.
Hey “Mom I’d love for you to help, I love the idea of Blue, Purple and Greens.
I would like to stay away from anything red yellow and Orange!”
Let’s make sure we do all Dino and animal themed, both Boyfriend and I really like the animal idea."
Pitch ideas together!
Just use basic communication skills of clarity and direction.
If that’s too difficult, it’s really not bad to say "no thanks, I really want to do this by myself because it’s super special to me or whatever…
Saying “No thanks because…” isn’t mean.
This is a way for you to become more close… include her in decorating… Tell her you’d like to work on it together as a way to get to know each other better.
A baby shower is something people do for you. This just might be a way to grow closer to your mother-in-law. Sounds like she’s trying.
She is trying to be a part of it all. I would let her do it and if you had an issue, just tell her. Or maybe while she is prepping tell her you have some ideas that you would like to incorporate. This could be a way for y’all to create a bond. Not all MILs have to be mean and rude. Put yourself in her shoes. When your kiddos have kids you’ll want to be involved. Normally the mother doesn’t have much to do with it, and other people throw the shower. I didn’t get a shower at all, count your blessings.
It’s not quite clear to me 
Did she TELL you or did she ASK you? IMO maybe you can gently get it across to her that you already have something in mind of how you want the decorations to be done but perhaps she’d like to help set things up or maybe think of other ways that she can be involved in YOUR shower for HER grand baby!
I’ll tell you why.
When our first baby was about 3 & 1/2 months old I got very ill very fast with a flu & could not take care of him that day. At that point we had never had opportunity to need a babysitter.
I was grateful that my MIL could care for our baby on such short notice that day. As it turned my brother got off work a couple hours early that day & when he found out what happened he offered to go & get the baby & take care of him till my husband got home. When I called my MIL to tell her that my brother was coming to pick up our baby, she became very angry & yelled at me “Stewart (husband/dad, not his real name) BROUGHT THAT BABY & Stewart WILL PICK HIM UP!”
& then hung up on me.
My then husband didn’t see anything wrong with the way his mother treated me. , “after all she’s been looking forward to babysitting”.
No matter how much I tried to get along with her she always felt that her opinions regarding our son were far more valid than mine because she’d “had five kids”.
It just sounds to me that this might be a good time to set some boundaries as nicely & kindly as possible.
I understand that traditions with baby showers have changed but perhaps she hasn’t thought about that.
She’s had her turn with the whole baby thing & this is your turn. 
Not at all. If she’s a decent mother in law she will have no problem with it. She just might want to just be included. Then on the other hand if she does you better start now making sure you are heard. Don’t give in and then later on down the road get mad at her for taking over. Stat now.
Oh geez. You do realize some new mothers have no one giving them a shower and you complaining is obnoxious
This could be a bridge to a closer relationship, let her know your preferences and see if she is willing to collaborate.
I always decorated my own. My pregnancy, my baby, my vision… period!! I let everyone know right off the bat what I wanted and it was a team effort to get it all done!! We would get together the few weekends before and make centerpieces together and browse online. It was a good time for my family to get to know his better. Friendships were formed and new traditions started. Don’t let anyone shame you into thinking you are being selfish!!
Let her do her place as a grand mother.are your friends and family coming to celebrate with you or look at the deco???
Is this the kind of thing you want to have conflict over with the child’s grandmother ?
Gosh, my childs’ grandparents took absolutely no interest in her…never a christmas or birthday present, mostly forgot her name or bullied her outright…what I would have given for any of her relatives to want to do a single thing for her !
You’re being petty.
Show some grace.
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If its making you feel that way then perhaps maybe get her to plan one or 2 of the games you all play something like that so she still feels involved… but you do the rest of if that way it gets decorated how you want it and stuff
Easy, just tell her you already bought them. Ask her if she can lead a game or take care of the cake and let her know the theme you have in mind.
She probably just wants to be a part of the joyous occasion. Either you or the boyfriend should tell her you had a certain way in mind that you really wanted to do for decorations so if she wanted to help you accomplish that it would be great. Be honest but be kind, may be a chance to get to know each other a little. Would say “welcome your help” instead of “no butt out”. You can describe your plan to her, maybe even buy the decorations you want.
What happened to the days when your friends gave a "surprise " baby shower?
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Who is giving the shower? If she is then she should provide the decorations and food and all necessary items for shower. If you are throwing your
Own shower then you should do it all. Whoever gives the shower should be in charge of it and they may ask for input.
I would tell her I would love for her to help me with it and that I would show her my plans and let her help you do it the way you want to do it. If she was happy to be able to participate with the intention to make it great for you, How great would that be? Invite her in…
I am sorry but we already have that covered, would you be interested in doing prizes for games I really could use your help?
- you set a presidence for being firm,
- you show he she is important to you so she doesn’t feel excluded or shunned by you. You defiantly don’t want to alienate your future MIL!
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Eh…no is no. Parents of grown children whom have their own lives are acting WILD, like they still control their kids. If the relationship is strained and she can’t listen to your wishes…for your life…it would be a NO from me! This goes for any part of your life. Don’t be worried about “mom…dads…sisters” feelings because at the end of the day, they’ll have the relationship they actually want and still be doing whatever it is they do…No, means No…followed by a thank you. It’s not rude to tell people No, you do life and parties the way YOU want to💕
I love to make my mother in law to be happy whenever I can . I guess it depends on the relationship you all have . Truly I just appreciate anyone helping me and I appreciate actions more than things but to each their own.
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You are allowed to say no thank you. If she takes it as being rude or something, that’s on her. Not you.
I thought a baby shower was done as a nice gesture for u by someone else?
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Who is paying for the shower? The host is the one that decorates normally. If youndoing your own shower for yourself then you decorate. You can sit down talk with host and see if they could use some ideas you had.
It usually is the guy’s family that gives the shower in the first place, not you .You Are The Guest ! You do not decorate for your own shower.
It may be her way of trying to get close to you so be careful how you handle it. Perhaps you could suggest what you were thinking of or suggest you look together.
Why are you even involved in it… most people don’t give their own baby showers. Let her do it. Relax
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Find out what’s her plan, if you like it, let her do it; but make sure you are okay with it; if not let her know that you would like to do something different or make some changes; it depends on y’all’s relationship
You are putting yourself in a situation that will dictate the future relationship you have with her … she is happy and excited and wants to be included … I hope you pray about it … and remember she is family …
It’s certainly not going g to get any closer if u don’t let her help …try talking
Usually one does not give one’s self a baby shower…usually the friends give it…I had two showers…one given by the lady across the street and it was attended by neighbors for the most part…and another one given by a friend of mother’s …and the decorations were minimal…Mother had a wicker stork…but it was mostly a cake…and that was it…and the presents…I still have the picture of the baby the lady across the street gave me. It was one that she had from the time her oldest son was born…I love it…and still have it hanging in my living room…Baby Showers should not be big productions…these days people think that they have to have their names on like with certain stores etc…We were lucky to get a few outfits and some diapers…PS…we got married first and then had the baby…
I made some mood boards and sent them out to everyone that wanted to help so they all knew the theme it was gonna be and then they would send me pics of their ideas that they thought went with that theme
It’s okay to give a little sometimes. Why not ask her to partner with you?
Why are you involved in the planning and decorating of your own shower?? I’ve always thought showers were something friends and family did for you, not something you do for yourself.
Just politely tell her you already planned on how you want it and ask her if there’s something else she would like to help with
Pick your battles carefully. Most baby showers are planned by good friends or relatives and the expectant mother is supposed to just show up and enjoy it. Is it really worth possibly causing a rift in the relationship? Let it go and enjoy opening all the adorable presents.
A shower is a gift. You should expect what you are giving. Just make out the guest list and sit back and enjoy
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Ask her what she has in mind. Say maybe you two can work the details together. This might be her way of trying to get close to you.
I thought baby’s showers were thrown for the prego mom not the prego mom do anything they just go? Or am I wrong
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I’m sorry but just let her decorate. Who cares if it’s hideous, it’s one day. You get to decorate the nursery that will last for years.
Don’t be like that. It’s his mom. Let her have a part in it. It’s a small and simple gesture you can allow her.
Why are you throwing yourself a shower?
The hosts are supposed to do all that.
Pick your battles L etc. Her do it this time. You might be pleasantly surprised.
It’s your baby shower so u decorate then. If u r not close maybe this could bring u closer . Meet and brainstorm.
Why have a baby shower at all?
If your friends and family want to.give you gifts tell.them what you could do.with.
Baby showers arecan American idea and tbere is really no need for one.
I helped with my daughters and daughter in laws but they were still asked what they wanted as far as decorations and food. Why wouldn’t you? It’s their baby shower after all.
Be truthful but kind. “I would love you to help me do it the way I want it done for my baby”.
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Just tell her you’d like to do it yourself because you have a vision of what you want. If she throws a fit then she was always gonna throw a fit. Nothing to be done but it is your party.
Who is paying? Who is hosting? Take all the help that is being offered. The MIL offered to pay for the decorations, let her! And relax
A baby shower is supposed to be thrown for you. We dont throw ourselves a baby shower. That would be weird. You are not supposed to do anything except show up and look pretty. You are the guest of honour not the host. Many people pitch in but it’s usually who Evers house it’s being held at that is in charge of that. I mean I guess there’s no rules to that but just sounds off that you would decorate your own shower. Just saying… it still doesn’t mean she (the mother-in-law) gets to do it either.
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My first thought was aren’t baby showers thrown by other people for you. Why are you involved in the setup and planning.
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Just tell her you already got someone handling it but if you need help you will most definitely reach out to her. And offer her like food or games or goodie bags to do
Yeah I agree with Gary! The fact that she wants to help says, she is excited for that grandchild to be born and wants to be involved. Also who is throwing the shower because that person is in charge of the shower
If you want to be close to her let her do it, woman hold grudges.
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Let her do it. ….Don’t stir any hornet 
nest…no matter how far u think the troubled nest is from u. Constructing & nurturing our relationships is why we were put on this planet. & Most of all….enjoy being surprised & pampered at yr Baby shower 
. Congratulations 
Thank her for her offer but tell her it’s something you really want to do yourself.
Youre not sure what to do or tell her but you lay it out on social media.
Tell her what you want, you already know what you want to say.
At worst she may not like you but will respect your backbone.
For all she knows she think shes taking a load off of your back.
Talk to her, and dont be afraid to ever.
Do it your way. Dont let her then she will come in and take over and you will regret it.
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Your baby shower your rules explain to her that you have thought about baby shower decorations since you were a kid and really want to go with your vision of how it should look
Just say you already have them picked out but would she help set them up.
Why do people have to make judgments on both sides? First no one has one clue about the marriage situation. Maybe the girl alrighty feels intimidated. Maybe things need to be worked out with the girl and her mother in law.
The point is that no one has the right to judgment and name call. And yes some things have changed.
Just tell her you already have plans or even purchased things. Then ask her for help with something you just can’t do without her…
Who’s in charge of the baby shower? Politely tell her that she would need to talk to that person about the decorations. It sounds like she’s trying to help out. If your throwing the shower for yourself then give her a picture of the theme you want. Say it in a nice way. You will have enough big battles to fight in the future. You never know she might be picking a theme you like.
Its your shower you do it your way, she can do something else if she has a problem she aint invited
U don’t throw ur own baby shower. A friend or relative throws it for u. U turn up, say thank u they even bothered, and be grateful u have ppl who care. Not get all bend out of shape over decorations.
Why y’all scared to say what u feel never be afraid to speak up it’s its for you not them speak your mind but do it gently
Truth us the best option. Let her know that is something you want to do and that you appreciate the offer but would prefer it to do it yourself as it is something important to you. Although, in reality you shouldn’t be doing anything as it is a celebration for you and bub.
You may know what other strengths and abilities she has where she could feel like her contribution is important. Remember you are carrying her son’s child and as a mother and grandma she wants to be part of it.
Tell her you want it planned a certain way. Things like these should be up to the owner cos everybody has a dream event
Tell her you are going with a certain theme and have already purchased items you need.
Usually the people hosting the shower decorate for it and the honoree and the baby’s grandmother have nothing to do wirh it.
Just tell her how you feel in a nice way. Be honest in all things with everyone as you would want them to be honest with you. Tell her you don’t want to hurt her feelings and would like her input and possibly help but you really want to have a say in the shower if you are paying for it. If she is paying then it is a different matter. Maybe two showers?
You tell her no. End of story. She doesn’t like it? She can pound salt.
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I think people have forgotten what a baby shower is about, people are just wanting that inta gram party. This is a opportunity to get close with family.
I would be honest and say…I really appreciate the offer , and the involvement , and I was looking so forward to doing this myself. But if you would agree to let me put up x y z …you could handle the rest of the decorating.
Are YOU throwing your own baby shower???
Just say I’m Particular on how I want it to look but I would be happy if you could help me decorate
Tell her a theme you want maybe that would help even the colors
Are you throwing your own baby shower??
You should not decorate your baby shower. The person or group of persons hosting or giving the baby shower are in charge.
Have you discussed this with your boyfriend Maybe he can get thru to her and she’s probably excited to be involved unless she is a controlling person Then we’ll thats another issue You asked!
Tell her that best friend or whatever was planning to do shower and already bought decorations
Tell her, “Thanks, but it’s already been handled. Would you like to help with ___________instead?”
Why would you be decorating your own shower anyway?
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Be honest and tell her you already know what you want done but if she wants to help you with your plan she would greatfully be welcome to help you
IMHO it is bizarre, not to say incredibly self-centered to basically throw yourself a baby shower and be the baby momma equivalent of a Bridezilla. How about you are the guest of honor not the host so let your MIL throw the shower and decorate it as she wishes? Consider someone else’s feelings and imagine she is trying to give you and your soon to be baby a loving welcome. Your position seems mean and unkind and does not bode well for future family relations. Who knows, one day you might welcome and wish for this woman’s help and support and you aren’t doing a damn thing to build a nice connection. This woman will be your child’s grandma, and will always be your husband’s mom. How much smarter, and nicer, to be warm and welcoming to her.
“Start as you mean to go on” is a great guide. And please God don’t throw a “gender reveal” party- no matter what they are TACKY. God willing you will have a happy, healthy baby. Play nice.
Be honest and let her know how you feel. She’s most likely excited for the event and wants to help as much as she can. I’m sure she’ll understand. Maybe consider splitting the task, work together with your vision. It’ll be a nice chance to bond.
Tell her no. You have an idea about the decorations and want to do it. I suggest you stand firm on this.
Just tell her you bought all the decorations already
They are just decorations! Will this really matter in 5 years? No…
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You dont decorate for your own shower. This could be a bonding event
Who’s paying for it? If she is,she should be incharge, but it would be nice for input on your theme.
She’s got a bare faced cheek. Where is the boyfriend in all this? Hope he is not as spineless as he seems? I shouldn’t pissy foot around her. If she won’t accept your baby, your baby shower, tell her to go forth and multiply.
As long as you get to pick your theme and colour scheme then let her have at it!!! One less thing for you to worry about!?
Would you feel the same way if it was your own mother🙄
Why not suggest doing the decorations together?
Be thankful be humble n b kind tell her we could do it together … it might b a bonding experience 
b thankful u have someone who is wanting to help n b there even if it feels like a pain
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