Let her do it! After all, it’s also her sons baby
You’re being totally rude get over yourself
Tell her that you already have it planned
Introduce her to my uncle Guido.
Who is paying for everything???
Who’s paying for them?
Just be grateful. How bout dat
Well,in the name of friendship and good relations,let her be!
You too, will have your turn:smiley:
Let her be in charge of the games…she would enjoy that
The position is already filled…
Say no
Rather
Learn how to say no.
U should let her help she wants to b helpful. She in your life
Learn to let go. Don’t sweat the small stuff (hint hint: it’s all small stuff)
Why not team up with her? This is the beginning of a long term relationship, for everyone involved.
Its a chance for you to introduce who you fundamentally are.
You need allies.
Open your heart, be honest. Be kind.
Be open minded. Comprise on the things that will make great memories.
Don’t let decorations be whats important.
God Bless your new family.
Be thankful she’s helping I say
Let your mother in law join you… Open doors for her, dont be selfish
What’s the big deal. Its just a party. Focus on the nursery
No it’s not rude at all… people need to stop acting like no is a bad word… People need to learn to respect someones wishes and not through hissy fits…
Tell her no and blame your rudeness on the pregnancy
Be up front it’s not rude, you are allow to say no
I don’t think as a rule we give our own showers !
Don’t turn loving help away
Who’s paying for the shower? They should decide
Just let her decorate…
I’d tell her your theme and that you appreciate any and all help being offered. Then just add that you aren’t really looking to delegate jobs but would appreciate her assistance.
Could just say no ty
Dear boyfriend’s mom, While I appreciate you wanting to help with my child’s baby shower, I’d like to organize it how I’d like to have it. You’re very kind and generous to offer but this is something I’d like to do on my own. I do want to thank you in advance for understanding!
If you don’t set the boundaries with your mother-in-law now, you will have lifetime of issues with her later. You were around to interfere with her when she had her baby showers back then so she shouldn’t interfere with your baby showers now.
WHOSE BABY IS IT? Make your life all about you so you now so you won’t have unchangeable and irreparable regrets later!
You first everyone second if ever at all.
Nip it in the bud, if you relent now it will never end
I see a broken family coming already ! Sad.
Pick your battles. Sometimes it just isn’t worth it.
“Oh. Sorry. I already promised that job to Xxx”
Baby showers my arse what a load of shite
Basically, you don’t trust her.
Jus tell her that you want it done a certain way and will appoint someone who will respect that, but you are welcome to work with them!
Include her but tell her to reach out to your family for h we lp try to convince her to be a team with both side of family
Thats your Job not hers no
Just say “yes, thank you” and appreciate her support. I’m sure she’s thrilled about the future grand baby!
Just tell her that someone has just been in contact and has all the decorations already
How about, “I’ve already got that covered but would you like to take care of…?”
You could say thank you so much but I have that part handled. I could use your help with_____ if you’d like.
Tell her what you have in mind but let her help put it together. Maybe this is her way of trying to become closer.
Just thank her & tell her you have it covered but how you would appreciate her doing the treats cause of great bakery skills said by her son!!
Allow her to help you!! Explain what you have in mind for decoration. It’s nice to show up open presents etc… not have to plan or do anything. Your family n friends also could help. Have someone you trust?? Let her deal with shower!! Enjoy and relax. You have more to look forward to.
Tell her you have the decorations all picked out but, would be happy to have her come decorated using the ones already purchased.
well the decorations are done already by someone else u say!! thanks for the offer but you can help out when you arrive we have everything picked out already…this is not rude it is common courtesy that if you are asked then you answer…she is being rude by suggesting to do the decor…she can offer another type of help if not she can just come and enjoy the gathering besides she is not related shes BOYFRIENDS MOM…no relation there!!
Why not team up with her? This is the beginning of a long term relationship, for everyone involved.
Its a chance for you to introduce who you fundamentally are.
You need allies.
Open your heart, be honest. Be kind.
Be open minded. Compromise on the things that will make great memories.
Don’t let decorations be whats important.
God Bless your new family.
Let her decorate! Don’t be so petty, I wish I had a mil to decorate. Your boyfriend and kid needs her. My husband mom died when he was 9. This is super little to argue about. At least she’s not picking what outfits you’re wearing daily. Grow up and let her be involved with her grandkid especially if she’s throwing the baby shower.
Consider yourself lucky that you are having one thrown for you. Sit back and be thankful. Not every lady has enough people who are wanting to do such nice gestures.
Tell her when you have the theme for the shower you would love her to help with decorations she is excited also. In the long run you will not really remember the way it was done but she will remember how she was a part of it and how she felt helping.
Honestly I had no baby shower for both daughter’s also both mother inlaws were never around to support and my mum had passed let her do it u haftooooo. ur gnr hv baby every single day let hr do something special for her grandchild ,
My baby shower was a suprise party
It’s a baby shower, just let her do it. There are way more important things you are going to have to put your foot down about with her in life. This shouldn’t be on of them
Ask her to collaborate with you. Talk to her and tell her you have an idea on what you want, and see if she’s willing to work with you. If she’s not then tell her flat out no and state the reason. Beating around around bush and being subtle won’t help. Be real, be honest, and don’t back down, and if she hates you so be it, but it could also be a starting point for you to become closer.
Be honest. Your baby shower, your decisions. It’s as simple as that. Let her know you already have a specific theme and that’s what you’re going with and even though you appreciate her offer to help you’d just like her to come, relax and enjoy herself.
I stblet her do it. At least she wants to. And it matters to you now but ifnyou
Make a big deapmofnit you’ll fee silly later
Let go of your need to control everything and let someone else surprise you. You have a lot to learn and she’s been through so it let her help you.
There’s plenty to be done. Assign her to something else. Be nice
You don’t give yourself a baby shower!!!
Pfft say no if you don’t want her to. You don’t owe her anything.
It’s your day. Be polite when letting her know you’d rather do it yourself.
No ma’am this is your shower, your day. If she loves you and respects you it shouldnt be a problem. Her feeling may be hurt. But so will yours, as you look back on this day for years to come you’ll be thinking only about how you just wanted this day to be what YOU wanted…
Are you planning and throwing your own shower? My kids are grown so I’m a different generation but in my day, friends and family threw the shower. I just sat back and relaxed. They asked for my preferences and then handled everything. Based on that and my experiences, I say pick your battles. The shower is a small event in the grand scheme of things. This woman will be in your life for a long time. Is it worth alienating your child’s grandmother? Someone else said let this be a bonding experience. I agree. Use it to get to know her better.
The host decorates and it will be perfect no matter who decorates , they are celebrating a new life, not competing for decoration awards! You sound ridiculous!
are decorations really that important? Is it because it wont be insta worthy decor? At least someone is throwing you a baby shower. I would just be grateful. At the end of the day the only thing that will matter are the people that show up for you and your baby. Not the decor.
Just say I’m sorry i already have plans and ideas for what I want🙂
Are you throwing yourself. Party? If she is not the host it’s not her place. She can bring a dish or plan a game, etc.
How can you two become close if you don’t let her do something for you. You’re going to have to spend the rest of your life dealing with her. She’s the grandma
You should probably try and learn to let go of the need for control. Or even loosen your grip a bit. Parenting is going to be difficult if not nothing goes to plan and even when you think things are going smoothly it can be 5 minutes left of said situation or event and bam all hell breaks loose .
Also be thankful you and your new little family have a willing and ready to help support system . Embrace the help while when and where you can . This isn’t all about you now its about you and that baby . This sounds like you’ve locked yourself into a controlling power struggle with her & she doesn’t even know is happening I wish my in laws had even tried to do something for our kids .
Just tell her what you would like and show her examples and ideas if not just let her know you prefer to have say in the decorations.
You are lucky to have a Mother in Law wo wants to do something special for you . Dont take her for granted .
You could have a monster in law but instead have a woman who is thoughtful and wants to do something special for you
Its not like she’s trying to plan your wedding
Why cant you just tell her the theme you want and have her go off that. Be thankful you have that kind of support. How else are yall supposed to get a close bond. be thankful and grateful
Don’t let u future mother in law to rule u life.
Tell her you guys can work on that together. Tell her you already had ideas and she can help you if she wants but you already know what you want to do.
You all are rude as hell. Being pregnant is hard enough without having a bunch of strangers coming for her just because she wants to decorate her own baby shower. I see nothing wrong with it. These are going to be photos her child looks back on. She wants it to be how she envisioned it. Again, there’s nothing wrong with that. I would just politely tell her you already have it planned out and that you really appreciate her offer. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad.
Should’ve just said you’ve already brought them!
Say “oh! I appreciate your eagerness to help, actually if you could do “xyz” that’s where I could really use your support!”
You might love what she does.
If your MIL really wants to help, let her. If u have something in mind u would really like, tell her u will send her pics you’ve had your eye on for inspo…
Tell her what plans you have and ask her to help out. This may help your relationship.
All I can say is that I was against having a baby shower and having my fiancé’s mom plan it. I didn’t like her, she would talk shit on me and I didn’t want to be around her. My fiancé begged me to let her throw it because it’s her first grandchild, which all good grandmas want to help with, so I let her. Guess what? I was very happy and it was really great time. Everything was beautiful, just get through whatever problem you have with it and let her have it. She wants to be included, give her that.
Call and tell her this is what we are doing if they do not like it too bad
Go with her so she knows what you want
Suck it up and let her do it.
Rather uncool to give your own baby shower. Why not just ask for money and get what you want.
Either tell her what you would like
Or say “I would prefer to do the decorations myself but you are more than welcome to help I’d fully appreciate it”
Something like that
Just say you haven’t quite decided on decorations yet and would like to do it yourself but if she wants to help she could …… and give her a choice of other jobs/tasks that would help you x
Be thankful, don’t sweat the small stuff
Someone is giving you a party. That’s what it boils down to. This will cost the hostess a lot of money, but she wants to do it. That is wonderful and should be celebrated. Whatever she does, in terms of decorations, you should love and be thankful for. Is it at her house too? Honestly, be thankful and go with whatever she does and be thankful she cared enough to do that for you!
Things have certainly changed through the years.A shower of any kind was supposed to be a surprise and not given by the person who they were honoring.
Back in the day, showers were surprises and not preplanned by the person being honored.
Go with it! Life is too short to fret on decorations
Maybe ask her to sponsor a shower with her and her son’s friends and let her do it all. Sit back and enjoy. She is going to be a grandma, she will have her own relationship with the child, now is a good time to practice letting that happen.
Let her do it. Shes obviously excited about the baby. You can call the shots some other time
Just b honest with her…talk to her like a grown up and tell her how u feel…tell her that the decorations are something u want to do and why its important to u … and hope that she wont b upset…if she is she needs to grow up…its ur child and there nothing wrong with wanting the party the way u like …give her a list of things u need help with…but also dont talk down to her b nice…that’s my take on it…
Just tell her with a big smile, maybe take her hand & tell her you already know what decorating you want. You have been planning it for awhile & are excided to do it…Add that there are so many other things you need help with that you are glad she’s there for you
It sounds like, you are all about a photo opportunity??it all has to look “perfect”. It’s about the day. The coming together, to celebrate this new precious life. People coming together to join in this celebration and you are only seeing the decorations.? Making me a little sad in people. Let her do the dang decorations and enjoy them wanting to be there with AND for you. I had lambs (funny looking lambs:laughing:)at my very first shower from my great-aunt throwing it and it was one of the GREATEST memories I have and it was beautiful.
Just say, I would love to have my decorations like this or that. And see if she sides with you. And if she don’t, tell her you don’t like it. Be true full.
It sounds like maybe she’s trying to get closer to you. Ya know keep your boundaries forsure so not having her involved in all the decorations is a good idea for you and your happiness but maybe involve her a little bit for her happiness as well? If she’s not a total butthead lol she’s probably just trying to help n get closer to you?
If it means so much to you I would just be honest and say that you really wanted to do the decorations but ask her if she would be kind enough to help with something else so she can still feel part of the preparations and involved. Communication is key.
Just kindly tell her that this is something that you have been looking forward to doing/planning your whole life. If you want, you can offer that she can help but that you’re definitely in charge