I feel bad moving my kids away from my ex: Advice?

I would just move. The kids need a happy and loving home so they are emotionally and mentally stable in a good entitlement.

You should not move your children away. Visiting family sure but moving away could get you in a lot of trouble legally.

In our state you cannot just pack up and leave the father without consent …

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I know my boyfriend only had one child and stayed in an unhappy loveless marriage til his son was 19 because that was his only child.

Understandably you feel torn. You need help taking care of your family, go to your family. He can visit them. Good luck. Look at all of you attacking her when she has attempted to contact him and he refuses, she even shows empathy when there is no answer, be nice people.

How is his relationship with kids? Quite honestly it’s wrong to take the kids away from the father unless he is a danger. Oh and legally he can stop you from moving more than 45 minutes from him. If you are broke up, it’s none of your business is he met a woman. You are talking about being split up for a meager week​:woman_shrugging:t2::wilted_flower: I hope you choose what is best for your children and not your own selfish desires, both of you!

I don’t know if you were married? Here in the states, when I was served divorce papers, I legally couldn’t move my son outside of the state. And could only move no more than 200 miles within the state

Ive been battling this same exact scenario. Not moving as far, only about 45 minutes away BUT I get bad anxiety and panic attacks when I think about how my kids will go from waking up every morning to mom and dad and seeing us both every day to not having dad living with us and just visiting but in the end, their and my happiness and mental health comes first. Ive tried and tried to make things work with him and I’m to a point where I deserve to be happy. I cant he one of those people who just stay together for the kids, cuz in the end seeing mom and dad not loving each other properly and not being happy is no way for them to grow up. It is what it is at this point. We’ll make it work. 🤷🏻

Have you filled anything legally? In some states you cannot leave your state with children while separation papers have been filed.

Unfortunately, you can’t just leave… the kids are established there I am sure. He would have to consent to the move. Also, if you just leave, he can file and have you court ordered to return the children…

Absolutely make sure that it’s okay in your state. Technically i believe it could be parental kidnapping if you all don’t have an agreement. Be careful!

If he’s a hands on father don’t take your kids father away…children need both parents…if he is a partime parent and or is not around do what you please.

I would do it before he comes at you with court papers saying you can’t… but with this being said I would let him have holidays and stuff with the kids as much as he wants

Depends on where you live. He needs to be told you intend to leave with all you’re contact information. When my ex husband and I split up he worried that I was going to take the kids to Florida. I never once thought about doing that. I moved 50 miles away and he knows exactly where I am. When it came to visits we met in public so a camera could see the exchange. Sometimes break ups hurt and people can’t move on. If he’s not harming you or those kids then he should not be cut out of their lives. First thought as a mom is to feel they are yours since you carried them. I get that but think of his feelings. Sure you broke up but he loves his kids. No contact could mean many things. Is he working or is he trying to make a stable home for when he takes then for visits. I for one would never take my kids away from their father. When we went to court to finalize our divorce the judge was glad we agreed because at the time he would’ve ruled in my favor. It’s scary when you don’t have support but you have to be strong for the kids. I fought everything alone and then some, sure it sucked but mother’s are warriors and we are strong for our babies. You definitely should seek legal advice because some states can say you kidnapped them. You need to time stamp everything and keep receipts for everything. That type of stuff only benefits you. Also be very careful what you write on Facebook because some judges will take Facebook as proof for your case. My oldest bestfriend and her parents did that and because this kid came to me I got dragged into court based off what she said to me.

I moved back home with my kids too. We are now 5.5 hours from their dad. They still see him every other weekend but I didn’t feel bad because even when we lived there he didn’t see them that often…weekends if he wasn’t working and maybe once during the week if I took them to one of his jobs (he does flooring). He’s only called them maybe 4 times since we’ve been here (8 months) and if my daughter didn’t call him on messenger sometimes he’d only talk to them on the weekends he has them. There’s more to why we moved but I’ll just say, if your kids dad is a good person/dad I wouldn’t move to far from him if the move would impact any visitation with him. Kids need TWO good parents.

If you want to move fine… but then I think you need to leave the kids with their dad. You’re the one who wants to move a way and both the kids and the ex shouldn’t be punished, because of your decision.

I moved from cali to texas. Best decision ever. Move girl especially if theres more benefits to be home with your family

Get child support asap
File for public aid
Get emergency housing
Get tanf
Then once you are settled, get on Virginia Works program. They will pay you to learn a trade. RN, LPN, CNA, Welding, HVAC etc

Take those kid’s an go home where you get support an love he will find a way to see them babies

You were with this guy for 10 years and don’t know his parent’s phone numbers??

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He’s seeing another woman after only a week? I would go & not look back. Y’all can work long distance visitation out

Most courts won’t allow children to be moved far away from parent. We just went through this with our son and grandson and indeed courts stopped it.

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Check your state’s laws before you move… Some states require that it be filed through the court before you move and some states will even order that the children be moved back to the parent who did not agree that the children move… If Dad is on board with the move and you just feel bad, get something in writing and get it notorized and that can hold up in court… If he doesn’t agree, you could be looking at a sticky court battle… Definitely check your laws! I also see that you mentioned he isn’t responding to you at all… Keep ALL communication and start your documentation now… You will likely need it… Him ignoring you, especially to discuss the kids is not a good look for him and can help you tremendously if you happen to get involved with court… And to answer your question, he can still see them, but distance may make a normal routine impossible… Depending on their age, the time can be split up throughout the years in various ways… Skype and facetime is great for communicating with the parent they aren’t with at the time… Good luck… This is a big decision

Since u said provinces…id assume youre in Canada.
Get your ass to court now and file!
Dont tell him shit. And do NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES phone him
ALWAYS TALK TO HIM IN WRITING FROM NOW ON.

The both parties has same rights it’s a matter of parental agreement

Gotta do what’s best for you and the kids. Pack up and move and don’t look back. If he wants to see the kids he will contact you. Always leave the opportunity open.

If you have them primarily, then you need to do what’s best for you and your kids

In some countries, you wouldn’t have been ALLOWED to move far from him, and rightfully so! :woman_facepalming:t2: If you can’t handle them on your own (definitely not judging), split custody 50/50!

If they have a good relationship with their dad…and he is a good father and a decent guy…(except for his relationship with you, evidently)…I don’t think you should move right now. Children need good functioning moms AND dads. I would pay close attention to who else he is letting into their lives. If the situation changes you can reassess your decisions. If he’s not a good daddy then I would move.

Always 2 sides to a story, him meeting a new girl doesn’t involve your children.

I could’ve moved back closer to my dad and family but I’m not going to put my kids through pain of being separated from their dad. It’s not fair to them. I moved about 45 minutes from their dad and eventhoigh its even further from my dad and relatives I know that my kids are happier because they still get to see their dad regularly.
Only because you and your ex don’t get along anymore doesn’t give you the right to take away the children and to remove the dad from their life. It’s petty and immature. Who cares if you don’t have anything here… your kids come first. Many people start from scratch, sounds like you’re not even trying and just want the easy way out even if it means that the kids can’t see their dad anymore… grow up.

Why is it that you guys encourage the mom to just move away and take the kids. If the message was about the dad taking the kids and moving away with them, yall would complain But because it’s mom yall all for it and act like the dad is suppose to fight to see his kids and ask the court for visitation, when in reality it is HIS RIGHT to have a relationship with his kids. He has been in their lives why is he now suppose to fight to see them only because mom wants to be a selfish bitch.

I’m in Tn and can’t move outside of 45 miles without going back to court and getting permission.

Do what you need to do to take care of you and your kids. If you can’t find him then he’s on his own. Let him find you you don’t need to be looking for him.

Take care of the kids he can come see them it would be different if he was wanting to coparent like a true Adult

He’s more than welcome to pack up and move closer. It works both ways

If you feel you need to move chat to your kids about it. He can come and visit where ever you are and vise versa

As long as you know he has your number, so he can contact, communicate, do what’s best for you and your children. He can make effort to visit them and you’ll allow it but you’ll need advanced notice.

Y’all been together 10 years and you don’t have his parents number? Girlllll…:roll_of_toilet_paper:

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You need to consult with an attorney before you do anything.

Clearly he has moved on & found someone else. You need to stop worrying about him & what he’s doing. It’s none of your business at this point if the kids aren’t going over there. If he doesn’t have any interest in the kids that’s on him doll. It sounds like he doesn’t have a stable head anyway if he “just met a girl” & moved her in. While there is no court order I say move where you have support. If he decides he wants visitation rights, but by the time he gets a hearing you will be long gone. The judge will tell him he has to file a petition where the kids are living. Stop doing the work to keep him involved & let him show the interest in his kids on his own. My ex isn’t involved & I am not crying about it. It’s on him not me. I’m not about to chase him & make him grow up. He has a dangerous lifestyle anyways & is mentally unstable. It’s better for all of us that he’s gone.

Do what is best for you to be the best for YOUR children. An adult parent can figure out how to get to kids IF they really wanted to! Period.

How does his meeting women make things worse unless you expected him to chase you ? …

If you have NO help how are you depending on your ex. Move home where you belong

I would absolutely go where I had support. No hesitation.

Hmmm are you married? I’ m wondering if that makes any difference?

Is this group open? Why are there so many men commenting that aren’t in the group?

And if he’s not answering your phone calls or texts, is he sticking to a schedule for seeing/taking his children? If he’s not, then you should be allowed to go where you will get help, if not by the one person who should be morally and legally obligated to.

As shitty as this will possibly sound… He could walk right into court and possibly make it to where you can’t take the kids outside of a 50 mile radius. You’d have to prove why it’s better for you and the kids to move.

That girl he met yesterday could become a potential care giver for your children. (Shitty, I know) If there is no court order, I’d move and before he hits you with court papers. YOU as a Mother need to be happy. However, I have no idea the laws where you live so I would highly suggest checking with a local court.

If he wants to see his kids then he will come see them. You do what’s best for you and your kids.

What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. The I will understand your decision later in life. Prayers for you.

I think you should feel bad :woman_shrugging:t3: I wanted to jump ship and start over when my sons dad split but the bottom line is he had a good dad and I wasn’t going to take his son. They’re are SO many fatherless children for many different reasons- if he is willing and able, WHY would you take your kids from their daddy?? Sorry as hell. My husband works out of town and my kids still cry for him at night. I could not imagine moving them away from him even if we did split.

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What you need to do is file for child support

Do what’s best for you and your babies.

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He seems well occupied. Do what’s best for you and your children.

If he cares he’ll follow or he’ll have to come see them…

You can’t sacrifice yourself for your kids happiness. I tried.

Do what’s best for you and your children.

Move girl. Take care of your kids and get the support you need.

I would go home to your family with your kids. You need them all. I wish I would have done that.

Being the kid who grew up this situation. I’m still not over the fact that my mom literally up rooted us from our lives to move cross country because she wanted to and that was 14 years ago. So think long and hard before you do because Then I didn’t get to see my dad at all because he was 20hrs away and realistically children can’t be hopping planes every weekend and not everyone is made of money to drive that drive every weekend to maybe get 12 hrs with that parent. If he’s a deadbeat dad does nothing for his babies id understand but if he’s part of their lives and just ignoring you because it’s nothing to do with the kids then you need to stop and ask yourself what’s best for them because they are the ones who are truly effected by this.

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Your kids relationship with BOTH parents should be the priority.

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Me personal I’d go. My kids would have a miserable mother if i stayed. Wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do

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At the end of the day… you have to do what’s best for you & ur kids… I had to move mines away from 1 father … I moved mine closer to another father … if u have help there & ur having a hard time making where u are at now… them kids come first

He clearly doesn’t care about you guys. Take him to court so it’s official that ur moving provinces and pick times of the year he can have them if he chooses. But if he doesn’t want that get full custody

Go. They can keep in touch through email, FaceTime, Facebook, phone calls, even snail mail.

People on here are real life $tupid giving her horrible advice. You DO NOT need that parents permission to move with your children unless a judge has ALREADY come up with a previous arrangement. And no judge is going to force you to live in the same area, they’d simply help you come to an agreement on when kids go to dads to visit

My ex and I split up when my daughter was 2. I took my daughter out of state. He was living in a friend’s garage and was not in a position to care for our daughter. I had to leave and he agreed. But he has since moved to my state to be an active role in her life. She is now 12 and I wouldn’t move her away from him now. Also, you’ll need to check what your local laws are. There are laws against just picking up your kids and leaving if there isn’t a safety concern. It’s called parental kidnapping. You have to get permission from the courts to move and if approved, there will be requirements for you to make reasonable accommodations for him to see their dad. Yes, I took my kid from her dad without involving the courts and he didn’t fight it but he absolutely could have and it could have put me in a lot of trouble.

With the kids established in that home and if you move them you could get into trouble if he files on you. Its been a week and honestly you need to take a breath and actually think about everything. It took me 7 months to decide to move my kids and I made sure to have an order in place when I moved with my oldests dad. You need to find the laws of your area about moving children away because I’m telling you if you just move with them it will come back to bite you in the ass.

In the states if you up and leave from where you lived 6 months prior …the other parent stays and wins custody of those children to remain where they were. You’re lucky to leave

If you two split and he left then move. Then file for placement when you get where you are going. That way something can be put in place so that way you can not get into trouble. Make a good life for you and your babies. He can always (if he wants to) see them long as he puts in the effort to do so. Always do what is best for your children and best for you to take care of them. Relationships fail that don’t mean you have to fail.

Why would you feel bad for going back to your support system? Kids need to see you happy too.

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Move away, start over. Don’t be petty.

Pack up your stuff along with your kids stuff and bounce. Your kids need you healthy with a clear mind. Sounds like he has obviously moved on so you should do the same. It will hurt but your kids need a father not a deadbeat.

Is he there? Like does he do his part for the kids? Because taking the kids from him just because you’re not happy isn’t okay. Now if he’s a deadbeat who doesn’t do shit is one thing. Idk have you talked to him about it?

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I’m assuming you’re in Canada. Idk about your country. But in the united states you can find legal trouble if you move your kids.

How far is home,
You always do whats best for the kids, and your now family set up. Can he not visit weekends or forenights ? You need family and support in order for you to be the best parent you can be, can you set up a agreement on shared parenting ? :+1:

No no. Do whats best for you and your kids. Hes not answering because he doesn’t care. If he cared he would at least see what was going on and answer.

Depends On your reasoning

Dude, no offense but he sounds like he doesn’t care. He’s clearly not interested in you and moved on. He’s not even paying attention to his kids. So be happy you and ur kids are getting a fresh start. I did that with my daughter and it’s been the best thing ever! We have no worries and when her dad chooses to be here, then he will be. But you can only control what you chose to do not other ppl.

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Move, do it. Do what’s best for you and yours. If you’re snooping that will be all that you do rather than focusing on you. Move and start over. He will just have to make more of the effort to see his kids. If he’s an awesome dad the kids can have the summer with him.

He can fight u moving of he wants to. I would talk to him first

So he doesn’t help with the children?

He can visit or y’all can come up with a plan

I love how everyone is an expert on the law :books:of a place :sunrise_over_mountains:they dont live in. Must be making the big bucks​:dollar:

Who cares who he’s with if you want to leave do it now once you start the child support

Most people will say stay nomatter what because they can’t do change/ move away… honey do u …

Well obviously he will be fine when you move

They’ll understand when they have kids! Put them first. If you’re not okay how can they be? I say MOVE!!! :star_struck::star_struck::star_struck:

I moved 8 hours away with my son,no custody agreement or marriage

Just move. He’s proven what his priorities are

Stop worrying about a man who just don’t give a dam

MOVE eff him
Meet halfway for visitation, you should still make it available for him to see them but he’s not helping yoy with bills, you do what you can to make ends meet

I went through the exact situation a year ago,it taught me a lot of things I wish I would’ve never learned and I’m right back where I began in the first place. Do what’s Best for you and your kids,if he don’t respond, better off leaving it alone. Out of sight,out of mind(that’s how most men are in that case so do the same) and please don’t go searching for what he is or been up to with whomever, it’ll destroy you and you got to be strong,I wish you all the success and happiness in your journey

Shes in Canada not Murica. Fathers have actual rights in Canada. You cant take the kids away from their father without his consent. If you try he can take you to court and even get full custody for parental alienation…

I didn’t see my dad for years but, I was surrounded with so much love. My mom did the right thing by leaving.

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It’s not your job to make him be a parent, take him to court for child support and custody/visitation rights

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Your kids may not be as unhappy about leaving their dad as he hopes!

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Okay am I the only one who’s set on the woman who “just met him” already has access to answering his phone and just hung up on the mother of his children? What if it was a emergency? Who does that. Like seriously we are adults not children but that woman sounds childish and already a problem.

You don’t need anybodys permission… do what you gotta do for YOU and them babies… he don’t seem too worried if he’s already messing around. Don’t worry about him or his feelings… do you mama!:muscle: there’s ways they can still see each other

You ever thought about letting him have primary custody and YOU making an effort to make long trips to see your kids? If not then fuck off and tough it up. If You wouldnt like it if he did that to you dont do it to him