No. It was a shitty selfish move. He disregarded his safety, the safety of others and your family. It’s not the first or last time. As well as it will happen in other ways. This us serious. You are valid.
You’re opinion matters. What he is doing can kill him. Make his baby grow up without a father because he’s either in jail or dead. Show him how serious you are about this. Just because it’s an off-road vehicle, doesn’t mean he can’t get a DUI. It’s time for him to grow up and think about his family first. If he can’t do that, there are several men out there who will! He thinks he’s irreplaceable.
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Make sure to record this kind of behavior, because if it goes to court for custody, that is huge leverage for you.
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Hes absolutely in the wrong. Hes acting like an overgrown child.
You Do not talk to your wife like that or endanger oneself while living as a family unit and tell your other half to “mind their own business”. You have a child together and this man is discrediting your concerns in favor of some boys and bars out of sight.
Unfortunately you came to the wrong place for good advice, you’re going to get a lot of “pick me” type of responses. Rest assured you’re within your rights to be upset about this and he needs to recognize his error and work on being better.
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Then I would remove myself and let him take care of his business…legal fees and all!!!
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D and D is always a no no. If he acts like a child, treat him like a child. Every wife worries about her husband, especially when they are doing something stupid.
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You are right- because when he gets a DUI it will affect you also! Keep records and videos.
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Your not wrong ! But when he Is in a better mood if I havent already explain it in a compassionate way if u havent and do it in a calm tone or hes gonna feel controlled.
But your not wrong at all
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But if he were to get arrested for this would he be singing the same tune or would it become your problem then? 
lol of course it’s your buisness!!
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He needs to grow up!
Unfortunately it will probably take an unfortunate situation that will end up being costly or affect the whole family to get him to wake up and act like the grown ass man he claims to be
I don’t GAF who’s around I will call out ANYONE who drinks and gets in a motorized anything! You have every right to confront him, he has so much to loss, plus he could cause himself or others harm!
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No, you are NOT wrong. Your husband is being childish and irresponsible! Sounds like he needs to get his testosterone in check! If he drinks and takes off in that again, call the cops on him. Let him deal with his stupid choices and the consequences. He sounds immature and ridiculous. He should be thinking of your 4 yr old child not having a father around because of his stupid choices.
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Next time he does it call the cops and see if he cares .
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I would be upset as well because his consequences affect you too!!
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If he wants to throw a tantrum and act like a child, treat him like one. If you can’t be responsible enough not to drink and drive, I’ll take your keys.
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That’s a tough one… anything you do to try and correct him will result in an argument. Confronting him while he is intoxicated is never a good idea. He is a grown man and if he messes up it’s on him.
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My Ex let me say this again MY EX use do this to me only he would flip me off driving away as I stood watching! He was a deputy and thought he would get away with it! When the highway patrol would try to pull him over and follow him home lights on he would just drive home like nothing! Girl get out! He’s selfish! It’s not worth it!! He’s not caring about you!
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You sound controlling. I agree with him. I know you’re worried about him and it effects you too but you gotta give a little. Husbands don’t want mothers. They want wives.
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I’d verbally warn him and then after that, his behavior is on him. No—I’m not bailing you out. No—I’m not putting money on your books. Call your drinking buddies for that.
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So when he gets in legal trouble tell him you will just worry about yourself and he is on his own 
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I’d pack that man child’s bag and throw them out along with his sorry ass. Failing that I’d report him to the police
Sounds like you both need to grow up and talk about it!! Seriously if your not happy you do not need to look for a reason.
I had similar issue. We are divorced now.
I would be throwing his ass out, and serving papers,!!! We are done!!! , women do not have to live that way, if we don’t love our self, and are children. He doesn’t care about you or his child, and a drunk do you really want your child around him, ? Don’t you think you and your child deserves much better???
He’s wrong but you also gotta remember that’s what alcohol does to people
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Get good life insurance on him and buy him lots of beer . And you will be alright
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Your not wrong but if he isn’t going to listen stop mothering him and let him suffer his own consequences we can’t control anyone no matter how much we love and care for them. He will either figure it out on his own or he won’t and that will be on him. You’ve done what you can at this point
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Sounds like a potential drinking problem…
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Let him come talk to my 13 yr old daughter, we will show him the effects of driving under the influence of alcohol and drugs! My daughter was the only survivor of her accident!
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Mind you’re own business
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I was in the same situation my ex would do this all the time ,I waited till he was sober to talk to him abt his behavior I remined him of our children and that one day they be driving it might be him behind the wheel drinking and he crashes into them or worse kills them. It was a Sober moment but I got my point across
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Just take out life insurance on him, save your breath.
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So you’re more concerned that he was driving in the dark and an illegal vehicle? What about the fact that he was drunk and 100% could have harmed or killed someone? That’s the real issue here. And honest to God if it were my husband, I’d have called the police the minute he left my property whilst drinking and driving. You don’t knowingly allow behaviour that puts others lives in jeopardy or you’re just as terrible/guilty as he is. As far as I’m aware you’re not even allowed to ride a bike while drunk.
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Ahh my bad I read drinking as “driving it’s dark”
You need to really talk to him when he’s not drinking and point out your most important points
You aren’t wrong, bad decisions effect our partners.
im telling it to you all straight. men are going to do what they are going to do ESPECIALLY under the influence of drinking or substances. you can only control what you do and try your best for your children/dependents. you can shout, scream, throw a tantrum-he throws a tantrum, but its just going to make more mess.im sorry you are going through all of this. if he is really in a mess of states, lock up the house and dont let him in.
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Call the cops , have him breath tested. Maybe then he will learn a lesson
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Saying something when he had been drinking was probably not the right time. Maybe the next morning, while eating breakfast, calmly explaining that if he were to get caught, it is expensive, you are worried, let alone the child you have. Timing seems to be key. I’ve learned over the past 20+ years.
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Try talking to him about it when he’s slept ot off. In my experience, trying to talk to men when they’re drunk gets you no where
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As his wife HE is your business, grown ass man or not if something happens to him you have to pick up those pieces for yourself and your children. That’s not ok
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Eh, you were awake and active and saw he was at a bar, were you sober? I would’ve communicated that you can pick him up when he’s done. And the importance of not drinking and driving. Instead of letting him drive home and giving a drunk man a lecture. A manslaughter charge wouldn’t be good either.
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I would have called authorities and been that bitch to inform them of his plans and what vehicle he was driving. He obviously needs to learn a lesson the hard way. His behavior was childish, and he isn’t a grown ass man acting that way. The bad choices will eventually catch up to him.
He is not respecting himself how can he respect you ?
Never try to talk to a drunk person you wait until they’re sober.
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YES, that is DISREPECT to the MAX. Thats shows no care or responsibilty for you or his child.
THROW HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR THAT !
Grown a** man is gonna be a grown a** divorced man.
Price to get back in.
BE CLEAN and SOBER no more reckless endangerment.
MAX OUT his life insurance, and house insurance, pay off a funeral plan.
He broke the LAW all over the place on that one AND as a married couple YOU are LIABLE too let alone if he had manage to kill himself and left you a widow with your fatherless child.
NOT AT ALL OK.
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Any husband that is willing to possible kill himself or others or end up in prison for the sake of “having fun” is not a real man. My husband and I both go out with our friends and act as each other’s dd. If he goes out I tell him to call me to pick him up no matter the time and he does the same.
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If he didn’t act Immature you wouldn’t have to act like a mother he needs to grow up party time is gone
He is disrespectful to you and his 4 year old. But you can’t make him not drink and drive. He clearly is going to do his own thing. Why bother worrying about someone who doesn’t care about your peace of mind?
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Well thats not gaslighting saying he’s a grown arse man BUT on a more important note he wants to play stupid game he can win stupid prizes. Call the cops next time. He could have killed someone by swerving out infront of them or himself.
And having to track him and watch on cameras is a huge trust issue.
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l get paid over $157 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $16547 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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When you get the call that he’s been picked up by the police for drinking and driving a non street legal vehicle, you just go on and keep minding your own beeswax and y’all can talk about it when he gets home from a night in the slammer 
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Report him next time…Noone and I mean noone should get behind a wheel when they had a few.
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That’s a sober conversation. There’s never any point in addressing issues with someone under the influence of anything. You’re going to get responses you don’t like and they probably won’t remember half of it. I’m dual sided about this because in the one hand, a person you love’s safety is being tested, but in the other hand they are adults and they need to make the hard choices. You need to establish boundaries at sober moments and consequences of what you will do if the boundaries are crossed. That person needs time to sit with and process so it can sink in to their inebriated conscious. Essentially you can’t control another person or their actions. You can only control your own actions. If you don’t want to have a life with a “frat boy” then respond accordingly. But hiding behind words without understanding of the condition just says “I don’t like to lose control over this person”. Sounds like he’s gonna live life with or without you. Decide where you want to be.
Side note there’s literally a country song about taking a tractor to the bar. LoL.
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He sounds like a real jerk.like he is just another kid your raising. I think its pathetic when men feel its ok to act as if they are a child too. I’d let him do what he wants,as he’s said"he’s a grownman" let him face his own consecinces.
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You have controlling trust issues with whole tracking him and camera thing and he’s got an alcoholic problem and then you confront him about it only makes it worse it’s a conversation to have about boundaries and relationship when he’s sober not drunk both in wrong honestly
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Well I don’t think you should feel disrespected. Disregarded? Yes! As he IS a grown man and the only person going to jail or dying (
) would be him. We suffer the consequences. That’s about it.
First of all, your husband lied to your face about drinking. Second, it’s nighttime and the go kart ain’t street legal, gone for that long, I would be worried too. Third, the fact that he says “he’s a grown man”, says he still needs to grow up bc he don’t ACT like one. You have every right to be upset. Honestly I would be pissed. Ask him this evening how would he have felt if you did that? Make him really feel how you felt.
If you feel disrespected then do something about it. However he’s a grown man and capable of making decisions for himself. You weren’t in harm’s way so whatever happened would’ve been on him. I don’t understand couples who track each other. There’s no way I could glorify a justification for that and I’m happy my man sees it the same way.
It’s fine to be worried but stop acting like his MOM
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First of all, never argue or discuss anything with someone who has been drinking. They don’t care and they won’t ever be in the wrong 
. So it could have waited until he sobered up. And second, you b ought it way too aggressively. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Use neutral, 'it was worrisome that you drank and drove, I worried you could have gotten hurt, I thought we agreed that doing X is harmful.
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He entered into ur marriage. Ur responsible for each other. He he is in the wrong. YOU BOTH WILL B PAYING FOE IT WHN HE MESSES UP.
What an idiot. A family member of mine crashed their car age 60 and ended up with a DUI and breathalyzer on his vehicle. Thousands of dollars in fines and equipment and he can drive just has to blow into the breathalyzer first.
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Tell him he’s grounded, little boy. No toys for you!! That’s how he’s acting !! Time for a sit down conversation.
Is he not allowed to have fun? Why marry a man that drinks and has fun with the boys if it worries you? There are other men who dont drink and dont party, go be with them. Totally calling him out for having a good time is gonna piss him off you should’ve known that, he doesn’t care about riding the sxs to the bar because its close, he knows the route and its night, less traffic and easy to spot a car. Im sure he’s perfectly capable. Its okay to be worried but its not okay to control and try to scold him like your his mother like tf.
Not so much as disrespectful more of him just being pissed off at how ever old he is he still gets shit when he wants to cut loose with his friends.
You have every right to be in his business. Whatever happens to HIM affects you and your child also!! A friend of mine let another friend ride their atv this weekend and he ran it into a tree and he had a few drinks as well. It can happen. Don’t back down because it could save his life.
Sound like he has no respect for ya and honestly you can’t negotiate with a drunk person ever. The conversation should have waited until morning. And you get what you put up with so I would definitely be having a conversation about respect and boundaries. If he chooses to go that route again. You already warned him of the consequences so 
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Apparently he doesn’t care what you think
I think this is where many wives think its their job to be a man’s mother. Your job is to be a wife. Not boss him around. Sure, you can express your concerns but that doesn’t mean he has to do what you say. And I’m sure many women will disagree because they also like to control their husband’s but at the end of the day - still not your job.
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You’re not wrong, he was being an inconsiderate asshole.
Remember you’re his wife not his mother. When you speak to him the best time isn’t when he’s intoxicated. You’re absolutely right for feeling the way you do but you’re taking the wrong approach
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You’re better than me, I would’ve called the cops myself:woozy_face:
You live and you learn, Mama. You deserve so much better. 
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If something happens life insurance or maybe even medical insurance won’t pay for any damages, you are just as liable as he, you will also suffer consequences of his actions. Hopefully your name is not on that vehicle. Unfortunately you cannot control your husband’s actions but you can make the vehicle unusable during times when people are drinking and don’t have reliable judgment. Good luck.
You guys are married with a child so his business IS your business. Sounds like he’s incredibly irresponsible & he needs to wake up. That was stupid what he did and he can’t justify it at all I would be mad if I were you too.
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I mean he could also kill someone else driving drunk then be in prison for murder plus having to live with that… I’d get rid of it if my husband didn’t listen. Ppl can say I’m mothering him idgaf, he will be alive.
Def feel disrespected
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Leave him and tell him to mind his business when he asked why you’re leaving☺️
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He’s acting like a child. While he did disrespect you it feels like there is more going on with him. Make a nice dinner, put the kids to bed a little earlier and have a romantic dinner and just talk. Find out what’s got him stressed out and maybe work together. Sometimes their actions tell you more about what’s going on with them than they will because a lot of men are brought up in a society that doesn’t really care about their feelings. They are told to stomp it down and suck it up. Keep trying. good luck.
Sounds like a normal jackass man! Dont know that you can change that! I guess he could be alot worse.
You are 100% with your feelings. I would be pissed too. Yes, he would be the one to deal with any consequences but so would you. This is totally your business. If he’s been drinking I wouldn’t have addressed it then but I sure as hell would have today and his his keys!
Yes, he was wrong. Yes, you’re wrong. Get over it. While you have every right to be worried, he IS a grown man. You’re not his boss or mother. Although being his mother is irrelevant seeing as he’s, again, a grown man.
This is obviously abnormal behavior. If it persists, then think about permanent/long term solutions. As long as this stays this one incident, sthu and back off.
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No you’re not wrong to worry but on the other hand you can’t make him do or not do anything. Like he said he’s a grown a** man. When he gets into trouble he’ll have to pay the price but unfortunately so will you. I’m so sorry you’re living this. Been there done that. The best thing you can do is act like you don’t care. Otherwise he’s going to feel like he has to prove a point. Also drinking is the first time for confrontation 
I don’t think your an necessarily in the wrong about worrying about him but he also like he mentions is a grown man which means he is responsible for his behavior. My husband gets kinda dumb to when he drinks with his friend and I hate when he does dumb things but in the end it’s him that pays for the consequences of his actions.
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I don’t think your an necessarily in the wrong about worrying about him but he also like he mentions is a grown man which means he is responsible for his behavior. My husband gets kinda dumb to when he drinks with his friend and I hate when he does dumb things but in the end it’s him that pays for the consequences of his actions.
I think you should mind your own business and when he ask why you stopped caring tell him to mind his own business you have every right to be mad you are a lot calmer than I would have been
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No you’re not wrong. If he gets arrested and it costs thousands of dollars in lawyers fees, he loses his job etc… it affects you and your child. It IS your business. And he was disrespectful, because he obviously wanted to do his thing, f you.
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He may be one of them husbands that just gotta learn the hard way. Takes most men longer to grow up
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Get rid of him now, it will only get worse.
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What I’ve learned from experience is not to confront him when he’s drunk. You will never win. You have to open his eyes letting them know all the concequences your family can go through if he crashes or gets stopped by the law. He will think about it better sober.
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Sometimes lessons are best learned the hard way
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It sounds like you need to prepare yourself for single parenthood. He’s right when he said worry about yourself. He’s irresponsible and his actions are not paving the road to a stable happy family life. Want to spend your life wondering if he’s going to jail today and having him call you to bail you out when he does? So he can pretend to be the man of the house. His drinking is affecting you. You could go see if Alanon is right for you.
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Yeah, sorry - his business IS your business. Period. And what he did was disrespectful, reckless, and childish. You deserve an apology and assurance it won’t happen again. Also, he needs to apologize for his general attitude toward this situation and for gaslighting you. Not cool.
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My best friend lost her partner because of a situation just like this. He went out on off-road vehicle and then crashed and passed away. My best friend found him.
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I don’t think he’s being fair. It’s dangerous and it’s not really about him knowing his limits. If he doesn’t care about himself well that’s his problem, but hes endangering others by getting behind the wheel and that’s never ok. He’s extremely selfish and if he’s a grown a(@ man then he should grow up.
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You can’t be his mother he is an adult he can make his on decisions and he will pay for his mistakes not you but you can’t tell him what he can and cannot do that is not the way it works y’all can talk about things and let each other know your opinions on things and some time you have to disagree to agree but you or him neither one need a mother or daddy figure y’all are grow and you both will make mistakes so hunny drop it don’t blow it up it ant worth it
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Throw the whole man away.
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Sounds very, very immature. Prolly a fun friend but kids and wife should come first.
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He’s definitely in the wrong but I don’t think “confronting” him is the best way to go about it, especially while he’s still under the influence. That should be an in the morning discussion and not a confrontation. Confrontation is only met with confrontation.
He may feel that you’re approaching him as a parent and not a partner.
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