My husband has and all his co workers females and all text and call during and after work …its part of his job .even when he’s taking a day off they call to get info only he would know…its no biggie to me I know he’s faithful…you have to have Trust in a relationship for it to work
Girl you are 100% overreacting imho
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You are making a big deal over nothing. Don’t add to drama he already has. Don’t try to control or change his boss lady. If you do you are only causing trouble for yourself.
You are insecure. And thats okay. But personally I think you may have went a bit or honestly alot overboard. I feel like you might be making something a bigger deal than it is
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Im not sure if you realise this, but guys and girls can be friends without either of them wanting to be more… you said it yourself, you’re not threatened by her, she has a fiance…let it go. My husband was working in a store where he was the only male and he had every person’s number…shift swaps, issues they could help each other with, general bitch about work… either trust him or don’t
Wow so many jerks dumping on you. Clearly he’s giving you a reason to question his motives. I think you should tell him that when he comes home from work, to have a time frame of who has access to him. Sure his Co worker is young so 10pm is still early. But he should give her a time limit. Set boundaries. His behavior towards you is changing and it’s cause for concern. I hope you really communicate all of this to him. He needs to understand his behavior towards you. Good luck!
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You might be reading into this too much. Sounds like you are insecure and projecting it onto him.
You are definitely overreacting. You obviously don’t trust him. If you want your relationship to be successful you need to have trust until you’re given reason not to trust. The guy has done nothing wrong, neither has his work mate. You need to relax before you ruin your relationship.
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I feel it’s a bit inappropriate for her to be calling/texting so late but otherwise I don’t see a big problem, as you said they don’t talk anything other than work. If they did, that could change things
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Girl clearly your threatened by the fact his female co-workers are texting him especially if it’s someone who is higher up than him who he will be working many shifts with 
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I feel like if he told you it would of started an argument based on your reaction here and you being heated. You shouldnt control your husband. If he is faithful its no big deal. I would suggest some therapy for you to find out why you have to be so overpowering of everything in his life and also your insecurities. There are much worse things in the world than not telling you he has a coworkers number. There is literally a war going on. Be close to your family, friends and loved ones. Let little things go. Trust him or leave him. No need for both of you to be miserable.
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Listen. If he brings her up more than once first. That means she’s on his mind. Probably a work crush. Ask him. Doesn’t mean he’s gonna act on it the issue is they are communicating if he has a crush on any one he needs to cut them off that’s where affairs start.
I’ve had this happen 3 times now not the affair thing but if you catch this stuff early and you set boundaries it will protect y’all.
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You sounds anxious. Anxiety can play a huge role in your feelings about it. If he willingly let’s you snoop and you find nothing and it’s all work related you have nothing to worry about. I would suggest seeking therapy to resolve your issues and learning good skills on dealing with your anxiety
Late 30s, you say? Are… are you sure?
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This is coming down to your own insecurities. There are many females in the world your husband may have to interact with some of them from time to time.
They’ve only ever talked about work. You know this.
If this is how you react to something so innocent, I understand why he was afraid to tell you.
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You act like you are a teenager
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Wow!? I’ve never understood women who think like this! I couldn’t do it! Seems like a lot of work!
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My husband is a nurse…most coworkers in his unit at the hospital are females. They all have each other’s numbers, and call or text well after work. Just to discuss whatever. I honestly do not care. But then again, I’ve heard him talk about them, mention them, or I have even met and hung out with most of them myself. And this is coming from someone who by nature can let insecurities get the best of her😒…you need to trust him and not think so much of it. If you say you know him and have no worries, then why be worried? Make it make sense🤷🏽♀️.
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My partners supervisor and boss has messaged him at 4:30AM some days.
If I were you, I’d leave him, for his sake and his peace of mind. You need to trust him, he can be friends with whoever he wants and he can text whoever he wants. It’s not his fault you don’t trust me
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Omg. Why are you acting like a teenager? This is your own insecurities…very dramatic.
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This seems a bit controlling on your part. Trust your man or end the relationship. You don’t need to police who he talks to
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Bwahahaha he will get sick of that real fast. Grow up.
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Omg, overdramatising much! My hubby talks to loads of people. I don’t need to know and neither do you. You’re on a fast track to ruining this relationship with your own insecurities. You clearly don’t trust him & believe that controlling him is ok. If I was him, I’d walk away now. You’re behaving like an insecure and immature teenager.
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I stopped reading after about a minute, it’s his job grow up and get over it you sound more dramatic than the people he works with
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My head hurts reading all that I hope you feel better getting it off your chest 
he hasn’t done anything wrong 
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You sound exhausting
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Phewww, anxious attachment. 
Seek therapy or this will eat you alive.
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You’re 37 but act 16. It’s that or you’re extremely insecure. You need to work on those insecurities and grow up. He’s a grown man with a job. If he can’t speak to coworkers without you acting up then that’s sad. It’s work, it’s a job, it’s good he has one. I’d be afraid to tell you as well with how you behave. That relationship will be doomed if you don’t grow up and work in the insecurities you’re taking out on him. That high school drama at his job is nothing next to how you’re acting. You’re a grown woman, do better for yourself and your relationship. I have made coworkers and if I was ever told they couldn’t talk to me because of another’s insecurities then I’d open that door and let them out before they threw anymore of those on me. I’m guessing you don’t believe in opposite sex friends as well. If you continue this then I hope he leaves and does better for himself. You have no right to control anyone but yourself.
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Damnnn! You need to relax
You’re an i8iot. Why’s she worried about yours when she has her own…? Her spouse isn’t her subordinate employee and vice versa.
She’s his supervisor. Damn right she’s being bossy and telling him what to do vs asking.
Dippy do da
Your 33 it’s time to grow up a little bit.
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Wow couldn’t even finish reading. I don’t think your man has to tell you which superiors or co-workers has his phone number.
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Listen, I wouldn’t be happy if my boyfriend exchanged numbers with a woman and didn’t at least be honest and tell me. Before anyone talks about my relationship I’ve been with him for 5 years if he was gonna leave he works have already. I feel like it’s my business who my man is friends with like he knows who I am friends with. He knows who I talk to and vise versa. You all need to leave her alone. You don’t know her past or why she’s like this. Could be an abuse survivor. She could have been cheated on a lot, lied too, men could have been cruel to her and it’s messed her up. I am not afraid to say I do have insecurities and they show a lot in my relationship. If he wants to leave he knows where the door is
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Wow if the person training him was male and they swapped numbers would you be going on about it? Get over it, the way you have reacted and behaved no wonder he hid it and he will probably again in the future.
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Sis, all you did was contradict yourself left and right. I don’t blame him for not telling you they exchanged numbers. You sound like you’re 17 not 37
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Ok, I am going to be honest, I stopped reading after this part right here. (circled)
Girlfriend, you are possessive not “protective & loyal.” Someone on here mentioned “anxious attachment” style & that is worth exploring w/ therapy. There are healthier ways to manage your feelings, for yourself & for anyone that you enter into a relationship w/.
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You seem like a damn headache.
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You say you aren’t threatened by her but would u he acting this way if it was a male coworker? Girl you are clearly jealous and need to get over it. She’s engaged. And they aren’t being inappropriate
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If they were flirting then yeah but they clearly aren’t
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You sound like a crazy nut. 
way too controlling. Making something out of nothing.
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From your post, what i was able to get from it is…
He’s starting a new job. Those first few weeks of training depending on the job are brutal! There’s soooo much info going in that you’re expected to retain. At night getting home is “processing” all that info. I can see how giving her his # could have really been something he didn’t even think about.
When I’ve trained, I’ve given out my # as “if you have any questions, please reach out to me” because at the end of the day I’m responsible for the person I am training and I’m responsible of making sure they understand, feel comfortable to perform heir job duties, etc.
I have to keep tabs on my guys on hours worked because we generate reports based on hours worked to ensure we’re not overworking them. So I can also see it from her perspective as a manager. Especially if it’s all work related. From what you’re saying, it’s all been work related.
It’s a rough transition starting a new place. Let him acclimate. Don’t add to his already heavy burden
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You should stop. You’re looking for an issue and their isn’t one.
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I feel like he’s either in EMS or is a firefighter lol
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If you weren’t threatened by this female and the situation you wouldn’t have written a novel about it.
Get over it and get over yourself.
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I just wanna know do you use a baby wipe or flushable wipes when you change his diaper and is he still on the tit or bottle fed do you burp him too? Like shyt y’all got to murch going on and mom you need to pipe down and let him be an adult or rather coach him into being an adult!!! Whew Chile this is tragic and not healthy at all….
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Ohhhhh IDK maybe there’s actually a difference between personal property and an actual human you choose to share life with… Micromanaging at it’s finest… Does personal privacy disappear just because we’re in a relationship? Sounds like trust issues to me. I’d like to keep my individuality, privacy, and so on and would also love and respect my s/o to also keep theirs… But that’s me… Jesus, I’d be exhausted if I was expected to list and describe every interaction I’ve had that day to the person I’m with… Imo 
but I’m also NOT going to be with someone if I can’t trust them, soooo there’s that … She sounds like his mom asking what his day at school was like SMH ctfu:rofl:
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I understand being upset him hiding it I mean why hide it if it’s nothing but other than that it sounds work related and maybe just talk to him about it but I feel this is something u need to work on yourself…
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That poor man!!! Just stop
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Don’t overlook things too much, forgive and forget the small things before they become the big things.
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Think you should keep tabs here and there. 
He may feel the same if you had the same going on with a guy work friend. Might want to make that point. Good luck! 
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Girl you are okay. It completely understandable when it comes to your relationship. Everyone reacts to things differently then you would yourself. But let’s try not to let little things like that come in between you and your man. Yes your not gonna like it but you can’t show beauty to bitch in seconds. You’ve voiced your opinion if it continues then do something about it. My inbox is open. Feel free to qss. Your not alone
Yea. You are overreacting about most of this, but her texting at 10:30 Pm caring if he worked a double is weird.
I honestly do understand how uncomfortable it is when your significant other is inappropriately close to female coworkers.
My ex had really weird relationships with all his female coworkers, and they would flirt and hangout and talk all the time outside of work, and he would always say how hot they were.
The guy I’m with now even has this secretary who they would send heart and kissy faces to each other in texts, and just extremely uncomfortable texts about dreams she had of them together. Just really inappropriate for work. When I asked him to stop texting her in that way, he just told me that he’s known her longer than me and he wasn’t going to change the way he talks lmao.
So basically, not trying to be rude, but you are extremely lucky you have a guy who is straight up with you, doesn’t engage in any inappropriate behavior outside of work, and is a good guy.
As long as he’s not engaging in anything back, I wouldn’t worry about it.
Leave it alone… u sound like you are a little jealous… if it’s work then leave it alone … just let him know to remember to tell u… my husband and I are the same… however I don’t get mad about him adding a co worker into his phone on work cases and forgets about to tell me… it’s called trust…
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If you feel some sort of way in your gut confront her…not him. Nip it.
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He omitted…that’s wrong.
I text male coworkers and classmates. Just cause they’re friends doesn’t mean they find each other attractive. Calm down
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I stopped reading after my eyes crossed after 30 seconds. Move on
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You’re entirely too jealous.
To me it sounds like she’s just got a big head and likes to feel like the Boss.
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1st, yes you absolutely ARE trying to to control him. You can say you’re not bothered, but this novel of a post, proves that’s a blatant lie. 2nd, SERIOUSLY???
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You are overthinking and you are the cause of him hiding things… He doesn’t want to fight so he’s hiding things… Treat him good so he can appreciate you more rather than unnecessary quarrel… If we get back from work we Don’t need sht like this… Keep yourself busy instead of thinking how you gonna make his life miserable… Been there!!!
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oh my gosh!!! I’m not in a mood to read a book right now:joy:
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Im sorry but… this is something most people in a secure relationship wouldn’t even worry about. Kinda questioning it I get actually… but turning it into the big ass deal it is in this post? Whooooo. If you found out they had each other’s snap or something maybe then I could justify it but I don’t really feel the need to tell my fiancé that the person who trained me has my phone number incase anything happens… she doesn’t give af who has my phone number lol. I know Relationships are different but… this just seems a little obsessive!
Sorry I didn’t even read this whole thing cuz you need help. Talk about insecure.
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My question is do u wanna ruin the relationship you all have based off of a phone if he’s respectable reliable and dependable as a man paying bills helping out with the children if you have any
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Honey you are repeating yourself over and over in this post… please don’t be jealous calm down… he picked YOU! You just said he’s one of the GOOD guys… I don’t really think he lied to you…if he had something to hide he wouldn’t even tell you about it and he would not of said you can look at his phone anytime. Just tell him how you are feeling because your feelings are valid and hear his side of the story…. I do think that 10:30 pm is a bit late, but yet not sure what his work hours are… but have him set boundaries with her…
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There’s no reason to have to tell each other every single little thing and there’s no reason to have to make rules about who can and cannot have his number. It’s weird to block or delete people from your (her or whoever the OP is) life as well just “out of respect.” Respect for what? Lol just say not interested if if you’re being hit on but you don’t have to be extreme and block or delete people. Definitely not emotionally mature.
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for all of you saying she’s just being controlling and insecure what will your advice be if in six months she came back after discovering they were having an affair sometime your intuition is right
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I’m not reading all that but I’m happy for you or sorry that happened
You need to breathe. And communicate w him. But I would recommend less words than this was.
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Whether or not he does something bad, worrying about it only takes away today’s peace. If you find out he’s lying or being untrustworthy, leave him. I don’t understand why people feel like they own their SO’s.
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He should take a picture of his schedule. Send it to his trainer and say I already have my copy on my phone. End of conversation. It’s should be that easy to avoid unnecessary conversations with her . He stated she’s a gossiper. Maybe she’s fishing for something to gossip about in his personal life.
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I mean i may be missing the point but if hes never given you a reason to doubt him, then why are you doubting him? You worrying will cause bigger problems. Itll take over your life.
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Wow. Just wow. You’re possessive, jealous and toxic.
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Everyone else is saying you’re toxic and controlling but clearly the woman is being too far into your relationship, his life, and his business.
She’s texting him a LOT, about irrelevant stuff too.
Texting him at 10pm when she has no reason to, and why is she asking if he’s working a double if they don’t even work together anymore? She seems to be finding reasons to text him.
I wouldn’t be too concerned right now, but I would voice it to your husband more about hiw it makes you uncomfortable.
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It’s not him she’s worried about. It’s her. I know the kind of supervisor he has, been there done that. With men supervisors messaging me like this, to the point I would respond saying “thanks, I have it” (meaning schedule) & end it there. I did this bc there’s been too many to little by little, start off like this, then furthermore start randomly messaging to vent to me, see how my day’s going etc. It has literally ALWAYS ended up being that way with men, as my bosses.
SO THAT BEING SAID- SHE ISNT BEING TOXIC. HER INTUITION IS SHOWING HER WHAT THIS WOMAN WILL BECOME. ESP BEING A 23 YR OLD IMMATURE G.I.R.L! 
She is older, with more wisdom and more mature and loyal than anyone just calling her toxic and jealous. She knows what she brings to the table and the boundaries she is comfortable with. Doesn’t mean she’s toxic. It’s NOT normal or professional to have your boss message you at 10:30pm, unless you work nights or have a bar/restaurant etc kind of job.
This day and age people act like it’s totally normal for your boss to cross boundaries and it should just be accepted or else your TOXIC. 
Plus, as she said, it’s the principal of “I didn’t tell you bc you’d be mad”— not the fact that his boss and he had to exchange s. If you don’t see or comprehend what that means, or you think it’s okay to hide things bc ur partner would be mad- then you won’t understand this woman’s p.o.v.
My husband would never, so I’m not even looking at it that way---- but since I’ve been in her man’s shoes when it comes to my previous bosses, it’s 100% justified to be bothered by this shit. I’ve never not told my husband when a boss acted this way and he’s never been mad, bc I’ve been honest. But as a woman who sees the unprofessionalism and whose also seen it grow into some bullshit- THE SHIT HIS BOSS IS PULLING ISNT CUTE. WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT THE 23 YR OLD NEW SUPERVISOR IS TRYING TO BE. I was one of those “I’m just going to be nice and put up with it for the sake of my job” women- & it’s ended in sexual harassment more than once. SO - NOW I make it clear that I don’t do all that or go for that.
If she’s not his boss or anything, why is she texting him? If it is clearly work related, I wouldn’t worry about it unless you have a real reason
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I completely understand and i agree with you. How long you been together?
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Omg, the man is working and paying the bills. Relax! You’re being ridiculously jealous over nothing.
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Jesus that was a lot of typing to say you have trust issues. Chill
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That relationship sounds exhausting
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Listen I’ve been the girl at work that the guy has to put Al in his phone instead of my full name because the wife will freak out if female coworkers are in his phone. This seemed asinine to me at first considering we needed to text each other throughout the shift for part arrivals etc but I had a wife call me asking who I was and why I felt the need to tell her husband the racks are ready, I explained I fill the speaker racks and he picks them up and takes them lol.
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I think what you’re most uncomfortable with is that his job not only requires 60 hrs weekly of him, but it doesn’t stay at work. You seem to like firm bounds between home and work. Since his new job is demanding more of his time, you’re losing time with him.
I’m unclear why he’s still there, but I only have your side of the story.
From your account, you resent him spending so much time and energy (dealing with the gossip) for this job. I suspect there’s more to this? Maybe you’re feeling a little abandoned for a seemingly toxic and meaningless job? You two definitely need to talk, but be sure to discuss the problem, not the symptom. This woman texting him is merely one symptom.
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This is a controlling and insecure relationship !!! Omg!!!
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If you feel this way y’all should split up instead of becoming toxic and controlling. You’re almost 40 I feel like you should have already reach maturity?
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Dumb! You’re too old to be worried about what his co-worker is texting him about work for… Darn,.he let u read his text, take his phone and each text was work related…GET A LIFE!
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The fact he hid it is worrying you and that’s not fair. Yeah maybe you are reading too much into this, maybe not but you know him better than we do and it’s concerning to you. Before I owned my business I didn’t tolerate anyone from work texting me after 7, neither does my husband so that’s a bit off. Does he directly work with her or just for training? What kind of emergencies would she need his number for if I’m sure the supervisors have his number? Try setting some positive boundaries and explaining your side without getting angry. Calmly explain which things he did bothered you and what you don’t mind, then come to an agreement. Best of luck 
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Aren’t you a ball of fun.
You are not ready for dating. You are that person we women run from in a relationship.
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you sound very controlling, that poor guy.
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Both of you need to talk and communicate, because you both have some fault, need to talk and work on this situation before you lose trust and the relationship.
I would never stay in a relationship so controlling that I had to tell my “partner” any time I exchanged phone numbers with a co worker / manager.
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You are acting like a child, give him a break
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Sounds to me like you DO feel like she is a threat, otherwise we wouldn’t be reading this. I say if you trust him, you have nothing to worry about. I understand being upset that he hid that from you though.
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you’re being dramatic. this was terrifying to read. i’m scared for him.
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I wish I could pay her bf a lifetime vacation away from this 37 year old teenager lordy
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This is a joke… Right?
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Maybe he enjoys her text because they are right to the point
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I feel like it’s a work situation and the bigger deal you make of it the worse you’re making it … almost literally pushing him to her.
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She’s trying to strike up a dialogue with him to get something started. Follow your intuition. Put a stop to it immediately or this bossy girl will push her way into his life. Sometimes men are clueless to the sneaky plans of women.
I wouldn’t be okay with my partner micromanaging who I talk to or text. That would be exhausting. It would also imply they do not trust me. Sounds like you need to have a conversation and figure out why he felt you were going to react poorly to him adding a co-worker’s number.
The texting him late at night is a little off putting for sure but if nothing inappropriate has been said then seems best not to jump to conclusions. Your expectations might be pushing him away because it sounds like you are smothering him and do not trust him.
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lol so what ! 
let him be dummy
You’re worrying about nothing. Unless it’s sexually. What are you worrying about? Do you feel threatened by her? As long as it is work related, don’t think too much otherwise of it.
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