Wow my husband has been a father to my 18 year old twins since they were 5 years old. You cant even tell they are not his…treats all 4 of our child the same…so its not normal …i would talk him about it.
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Go to only weekends, is He joking??? Your kids come first and if any man shows anything less than love and devotion to them you need to leave him. Your kids arent stupid, they will be picking up the vibes He is putting off and it will hurt them. There are better men out there that wont act that way.
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I think yr current partner, wished he was the one that caught you first, I feel yr current partner has some type of vengeance against yr ex husband and yr children to yr ex are reminders to yr current partner of the love you once shared with yr ex, unfortunately in some relationship some men/woman won’t look at another man’s child as his own, yr call Hun…but if yr sons already lashing out at you you’re partners got away with things yr son can’t tell u or yr not listening to yr sons cry for HELP!!!
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My boyfriend of 3 years has never said anything about my 2 children. He knows my kids are priority and being hes had kids from a previous marriage, he understands being a parent. Some people are just immature and jealous of children. I wouldn’t be able to trust a man with my children if he ever made comments about my kids like that, even as a “joke” i would rethink this relationship to be honest. He has a child with you and its biologically his and he will treat that child different from the others and that’s not ok. He should have understood that you are a packaged deal. Thats it.
If you sense it so do your kids. That’s not ok at all and will just hurt and distance them (from you) in the long run.
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He needs to live in the moment not what could have been
He knew u came with a package
Personally I would have been v clear from the onset about acceptance of my kids and healthy boundaries.
On the other hand… All kids get pesty and hard to deal with… Maybe u should discuss some ways he can get some time out while your kids are around. Like he can invest time on his solo hobbies while u invest time with your kids when u have them. Or since u busy with your other kids he can have extra bonding time with his kid. Discuss it to see what will work fir both of u
Focus on your kids! They are your responsibility! Get rid of the guy!
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If my partner told me I should let my kids go and just get them on weekends… I would literally tell him to leave & that I’ll see him on weekends when I drop off our baby for his visitation.
no no no. That’s insane. I would be so disgusted no way I could keep loving someone like that… your kids come first.
And trust me the kids feel it & they are going to start to resent you for allowing this and choosing a man that doesn’t love them
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I would have to agree with most here something wrong if he showing this trestment to your kids… my hubby loves all mine equally
Imagine being with someone who doesn’t love and embrace your children. Ffffff that
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I’m going to take a different approach than most comments here:
Sounds like communication issues going on. Sit your boyfriend down and ask him to be open and honest with you. Listen to him without any judgment. He’s stepping into the role of a stepfather, and I think people have this notion that a step parent HAS to love their stepkids. They absolutely don’t have to “love” them. But they DO have to treat them with patience and respect. Your boyfriend may have feelings around the situation that he has not expressed, and men have a hard time expressing feelings as it is. Might be good for him if he knew he could vent to you about stuff. 
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Ask him how he would feel if he only seen his child on the weekends, when he answers (hoping it’s not something he would want to happen) I would then say ‘well that’s what will happen if you ever suggest that i give up my time with my other children who are just as important as our child’.
Then you need to explain the hurt he causes by saying these things, it’s childish and heartless!! Sarcastic people understand hurting someone’s feelings too and that’s just nasty to say so it’s not acceptable. Stand your ground, these are your kids and they’re way more important than this guy who clearly doesn’t love them like you do.
Id be telling him to get over himself and id be finding someone who is going to love you AND your kids! Its A package deal buddy!
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Let nobody and I mean nobody ever treat your children like there a burden !! If you feel that way how do you think they feel !!! Children are very sensitive!!! I personally would have kicked him to the curb !! However you now have a child with him as well !! So good luck to you!!
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Stop making excuses for him, you own up or kids that you brought into the world your time and attention!!! He might be being mean to them behind your back???
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Be worried my cuzzie don’t let anybody hurt our whakapapa our babies r still our babies for life I never let that happen to any of my babies if I had Dem of course urs there prodenter n guide Dem on right track I live my last breathe for Dem aswell
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I would die f my childrens my cuzzie to show Dem I’m all n for em or her mama
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If you sense its wrong then it is its also very difficult to be parent to children that aren’t blood. Not saying it cant be done just harder. You should definately talk to him about it. This will be affecting your children now and in the long run. I know this as I have been in this situation and left my husband when I could see it was getting too bad. After 7 years. My youngest son became full of anxiety always thinking he was going to get in trouble for little things. So for me, it wasn’t worth that!!
Wtf is he serious? That is not right at all.
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Big no imagine your kids hearing that that is abuse.
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If he doesn’t love your kids then he doesn’t truly love you,.
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My daughter is my main priority 
someone was annoyed by my daughter then I don’t want them around period. I’m very empath so they couldn’t hide it id leave them for sure My daughter will never feel like she’s a burden. I won’t let a replaceable person in cause psychological issues on my baby thats my boundary. Were all different some moms do. But he doesn’t seem like a good fit for your family
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Did he make these comments before you were pregnant and married??? If so he should have had the door slap his A$$ on the way out!!!
This makes me sad for your kids. I think you should of thought about this before you had a child with him. How can you say you love his so much when he treats your children badly? They should be your first priority.
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I mean really! Where’s your momma bear? Your kids are priority and if he can’t get with that you should tell him to kick rocks😡
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No. It’s not normal. It’s not going to matter how nice he is to you if you can sense it the kids can too. If he’s not going to be able to step up and be a parent you need to think about what you are going to do in the future without counseling . Most problems in blended family is dealing with kids. They should come first no matter what.
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Nope. I have 2 bonus kids, and they are never a burden to me. Your kids are siblings with the child you share with him, so like it or not, he’s going to have to be mature with the past you guys & your ex have & co-parent & love those children as they are half of his own child.
So yes. You should be worried because that’s not normal.
I would sit down & talk with him, explain how your feeling. And maybe set up a day of him & your 2 older kids to establish a better relationship. All kids are a blessing, and they have no understanding why their little siblings Dad doesn’t treat them the same which they will pick up on if not fixed now as they get older.
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Kids can feel and sense things. I’m sure they can feel his resentment and that’s why he is acting out.
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Be thankful he is being a firm example in your son’s life, you’ll thank him one day.
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I’m sorry but my kids are top priority. If the vibe is there that it feels to be a burden to him, it most likely is and you don’t need your children to feed off that vibe. Let him go 
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How would he like it if you said he has to go stay somewhere else while your kids are there? No man…wait…NO PERSON in my life could ever suggest I spend less time with my children. That is selfish and disgusting.
Why on earth would you willingly have a child with someone that treats your other children like shit? Your baby will get older and he will pull the same shit! May as well leave him before he traumatises your kids.
Woman with kids =you have kids.suck it up,and grow up
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If he doesn’t really like your kids, trust me, they will know it and respond accordingly.
Family counseling to ease your BF into individual counseling to resolve his issues with your ex and children. Might take years.
Encourage BF to do fun things with your older children like amusement parks, kids concerts and plays, movies, games, story time at the library, parent and me classes, time at the Rec center pool, walks in the park, playground visits, etc.
Might also want to get counseling for the kids to make sure they know they are loved and BF’s aloofness has 0 to do with them, that it’s his problem alone.
Remind him they are their own complete people, not little clones of your ex, and he is to treat them as completely new people. Ask him about his childhood and the people who influenced him while growing up.
I have people who are not blood related but are my family. We say we are “related by love.” Remind BF your kids are related to him by love. If he is Christian, tell him it’s like how there’s a “God the father,” and how Jesus loves him, despite not being blood related.
red flag might consider moving on or your kids will suffer in the long run when your alone with 7 yr old ask him what you should do n itll be your answer
Nip this in the bud now! Actually you should have already addressed this issue! A long indepth discussion with your spouse is required to resolve/understand the isdues he has. These are your children both of you knew what you were getting here. There were no surprises especially with his previous relationship with you and your ex. This situation will not resolve itself do not put this off.
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Also, is he worried about them being a financial burden? Have a Frank talk about finances and what you can contribute to them now and in the future.
This is not okay. Your kids will feel that they are not welcome in your home
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Yeah thats not good.
Your Children come first! Kick his A-- to the Curb!
Your kids come FIRST! ALWAYS!
Your kids are top. You should have left his ass before you had a baby with him. Its good that he displining but he shouldn’t be doing it a lot. Ive had exs that left it up to me to a point to displine. You are the blood parent. That bring said He shouldn’t be just negative to them he should be doing positive things as well. Kids are a packaged deal. People need to be ready to be a parent figure, not a whole parent but a figure when they get with a person who is a parent. I would sit down and express your feelings. Those kids need him to be positive too not just negative. He should definitely not make comments like that in front of the kids. He should stop that all together. Kids are stressed enough when they are in a split home. If he doesn’t want to change then bye. The past is on the past and you have kids. He either accepts it and enjoys what he has with you now or again bye
You have to make it clear to him that your children will ALWAYS come first and that if he has a problem with your kids then he has a problem with you. Deal with it now. It will only get worse!!!
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Kids are number 1. Get rid of him
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I think he could be just overwhelmed , I would talk with him and see where his head is at …
No and your kids know they are not welcome ! Kids come first
Not good! This is the beginning of a big problem! Your children always come first!
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Okay so I’m going to go out on a limb here and NOT scream OMG YOUR CHILDREN COME FIRST LEAVE HIM ASAP … because you just had a child with him and that child matters too.
I will say, from EXPERIENCE, I have been there and a nice long, vulnerable talk with him about how you feel and really listening to how he feels can make a big difference. No, your children should not go to your ex and he needs to realize that if you’re sensing annoyance, the kids are most definitely sensing it also, though they might not be able to name it. I would tell him he needs to work on his feelings of annoyance/whatever it is and learn to love your kids and not base his feelings on your children off of how they act because kids, well they are usually fucking annoying. If he loves you enough he will take a serious look at his behaviors/attitudes in the coming months. If not, then you leave. People deserve a chance.
No questions asked…if I ever felt like my kids were a burden to someone, I wouldn’t be with them. Ever.
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I can only imagine what your kids feel if you are saying there’s clear annoyance. I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t want my kids to live with us permanently. I’d want nothing less than excitement and love. Maybe try family counseling. Also, a lot of kids act out when they feel unwelcome in their own home.
It’s sad that some women are so DESPERATE for love/attention from a man that she’s willing to be with one that doesn’t like her children. If you notice he doesn’t like them, guess what, so do they. That’s probably why your 7 year old is lashing out. Are you that dense? He has a baby with you and he wants YOUR kids gone. To answer your questions YES you should be worried and NO it’s not normal. Since having this 
in your life is so important, maybe you should let them live with their dad full time and you get them on the weekend. Situations like this NEVER end well for the kids. I just hope their dad has a woman that will love your kids as if they were hers because it’s obvious that he’s more important to you then your kids. 
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massive red flags ,when it comes to comments on custody time.
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I’d get rid of a man for being mean about my dog never mind my kids!!! Also he’s a parent now too so he must know how much you love your kids and that they will always come first… He sounds very immature to me
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So u dated a dude that doesn’t like your kids and you let him knock you up lol ok 
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Ew.
If someone told me to send my kids away…… I’d kick their ass before kicking them right out of my and my kids life. Fuck that.
Why would you date a man then get knocked up by a man that doesn’t really care to much for your kids? You have brought this all on yourself you should be ashamed! Poor kiddos!
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Time to move on
You and your kids are a package
Be very worried …
Believe people when they show you their nature, the first time.
You and your children come first is this matter
They aren’t happy and you aren’t either
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Why are you still with him? Kids come first period.
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The answer to your 7 year olds problems…?.. HE KNOWS!!!
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Honey, it won’t change it will get worse. For your children’s sake get out.
I would sit down and try and talk about what’s bothering you when it comes to your children! That man should NEVER make your kids or you feel like they are a burden to him and you should never accept that he does it!
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Yeahhh not ok. You should send him away rather than send your kids away. Partners come and go but your kids will always be your kids. They should always come first and before anyone else. If he can’t accept them then don’t accept him.
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If he wants you to spend less time with YOUR kids because it’s more convenient for him…… throw him away. You are their mother. Put your kids first. Who cares how he treats you, how he treats your kids is everything. Leave him. Leave now before your baby grows up and he gives that child all the love and attention, and treats your other kids like shit.
Nope… My now husband loved my daughter from previous marriage from day one… He’s always made an effort to spend time with her and he always refers to her as his daughter (even though we have 2 more daughters now that are biologically his) He never makes any difference between her and our other two kids. He loves her just the same… I would have never married him if it wasn’t like that to be honest…
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Girl I didn’t even read the whole story I just read. “I feel like my BOYFRIEND doesn’t like my kids” and all the red flags went up. If you FEEL it. That’s your intuition. And my best advice is: Your kids are always going to be there. You can ways find a new man. You will never be able to replace your kids. Your kids need to be your number one priority at all times. Why would you even have a baby by him???
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I’m 44 and I am going through this with my father girl friend.my dad has allowed her to get in between us and it still hurts even as an adult so I would tell you to nip it in the bud now and if he doesn’t accept the kids or start to change.then he is never going to.it affects the kids alot trust me
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Hey I’m not saying your partners in the right for making you feel this way, because that is not on at all! But the fact he’s giving your son a time out, when he’s behaving badly/disrespecting you… I don’t see a problem with disciplining bad behaviour or disrespect, even at a young age if it’s done the right way, not harshly.
(The part I didn’t understand was ‘he will talk time my son’ I couldn’t make that out sorry.) but if he’s only letting him know not to disrespect his mother, then this is good thing. The fact he believes your ex ‘stole years of his life’ and you made a family before him… is a problem he himself has to deal with, it’s a weird jealousy thing he needs to get over- that’s definitely not yours or your children’s fault and definitely doesn’t make them a burden to him. That’s just his distorted view… that needs to be corrected.
They’re your children at the end of the day, as much as you love your partner, he needs to know his place and not to be making sarcastic remarks to you about your kids if it’s hurting you, he needs to know this whether he’s a sarcastic person in general or not 
. He’s just had his own child with you, he should treat/respect your children as if they were his own, and have more time for them where he’s not annoyed.
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Dump him. ALWAYS choose your kids. ALWAYS trust your gut.
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That isn’t normal and not okay. If he can’t start treating the kids better, then it may be time to think about other options…couples therapy or maybe even leaving, if it’s feasible
Hopefully getting into the father role with his own biological child will help him see what he’s doing wrong… who knows. I wish you the best and hope it works out!
No, I don’t think it’s normal! These are things you should have talked to him about before having his child. It’s up to you, but I would walk.
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I think you need to talk to him about it all. What he is saying and how it is coming out could be totally different. Yes, he should treat them like their his own. But, it could be a jealousy thing of the past that he has to work through. I would just talk to him.
Get out of there before you waste any more time on him. He wont change. I was in a similar situation and gave way too many chances. It was the difference between night and day how he treated his kid to my kids
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Get rid of him. Ur children come first end of story
Always put your kids first, no matter what. You shouldn’t be wedging a boyfriend in between you & your kids relationship.
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Not ok. At all….I would never want My kids to feel like my husband disliked them.
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That’s not okay at all.
You should have figured this out before you had a baby with him Make sure he doesn’t abuse them
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Same story except he raised my older 3 for 3yrs they were btwn 9months n 3yrs old till we had a child of our own son. Then b4 our son’s 2nd birthday he left. He’s reason the youngest 2’s behavior he can’t handle n it’s these 2 he started rejecting due to them being my actual grandkids n wanted them to go to their drug addict parents. He knew I had them from birth but my kids is all happier now ND Its now 4yrs later and I’m raising them all by myself. He still pretty much ignore the kids he raised for 5yrs in all but I’m content. He on the other hand looks miserable n losing out
Should you be worried? Yes girl, that is crazy…. Kids come first. I’m not sure why you didn’t see these signs before getting pregnant but that is concerning. You need to be blunt and have a one on one serious conversation and get everything on the table. If he can’t accept your kids then he shouldn’t be with you. If you have his baby and you are with him, he’s going to treat his biological child better and it will be clear to your other two. Don’t let that happen. A real man will love your kids like they are his own.
When a girl gets with a man she better be ready to love those kids as much as her own… when a man gets with his girl he better love those kids like they are his own too… that’s how it needs to be.
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It’s been 3 weeks …. I’m sure your both very tired and stressed. Maybe spend some time with each other as a blended family and have some fun
Kids first…always!!!
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel like my boyfriend doesn't like my kids, advice?
Id ask my kids how they feel about him (in a kids convo kinda way) if they feel unhappy id have a word if things dont change id leave him…no mans worth making u or your kids feel like that 
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I think any parent would say things like ‘it’s going to be a long 14 years’ when kids are acting up / being naughty because attitudes just get worse with hormones etc until they get better. I wouldn’t say that’s him thinking they are a burden, I think it’s him learning to parent a 4 and 7 year old.
Speak to him about it if you are concerned
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If you can pick up on it so can they, he needs to start treating them like part of the family unit and making effort to connect with them or they are going to get hurt
Sit him down and talk to him but make sure he knows that ultimately your kids will always come first
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Easiest way to calm all your worries is have a sit down with him and communicate, guys aren’t the easiest to understand so open communication with one another are always the best way to understand each other.
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If you can see it and sense it then so can your kids. You need to talk to him and hope he changes. If he doesn’t then you have to think about the effects it will have on the children.
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Sorry but that’s not fair on your children they come first no matter what and for him to say that they should stay with their dad and you only have them part time just says it all really. They will always feel the resentment he feels towards them and that’s not fair on them at all.
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Bloke needs to grow up. Can’t hold a grudge against kids, it’s not their fault. And as for the being mad about “wasted time”, he should only be mad at himself for not shooting his shot back before you got with your ex.
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The sly comments shouldn’t be happening so sit him down and tell him how it’s making you feel. Tell him you all come together or not at all and if he can’t accept them as a family then he can have his child in a weekend like he expected you to do. The other stuff in regards to talking to them and discipline for disrespecting you is actually a really good thing tbf. Try and suggest to him to take them out for a few hours somewhere so they can build a relationship
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He needs to get therapy to get past his beef with you having had a life before him, and if he can’t then dump him.
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Yes! I’d be worried. There only young now but they will grow an feel resentment then you will pay for it years down the line when you have to answer to why you stayed with a man that made them feel that way in their own home. They will fully blame you for bringing them up with him just because he was good to you. An the feeling they weren’t enough will be very evident. Also his own child is t causing him to say it’s gunna be a long 21 years is it. They will no the difference an they will blame you for that.
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Tell him straight your kids come first!! And if he can’t handle it then he’s not worth keeping
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel like my boyfriend doesn't like my kids, advice?
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Kids come first. If someone isn’t treating them right it won’t ever change! He clearly is harboring resentment for the situation and is trying to push your kids out for “his family”. Girl you better draw a line in the sand real quick!
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I personally wouldn’t be able to be with someone who couldn’t accept my kids as their own. My kids are everything to me and if you’re going to be with me my kids are included, we are a package deal.
I think if he can’t handle the fact that you have a past (like everyone pretty much does) then he needs to reevaluate himself.
I was the child from the other relationship who was treated horribly and I can honestly say it will affect them their whole life. They will always wonder why he wouldn’t accept them. Why they weren’t good enough. They’ll start to hate him as they get older and it will cause issues in your relationship
I would address this with him sooner than later
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Drop him. The fact he’s saying it’s going to be a long 14 years as If after kids turn 18 they aren’t ur responsibility anymore is wrong and ridiculous. Kids should always feel like they can go to the parent or parents even after they’ve became adults so him saying that nasty comment along with whatever else he says is enough to walk away and be the parent your children need not the parent that chooses a bs relationship over her children for her own selfishness
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