Either you are at different life stages or he’s too comfortable to commit to a future together. Be up front with him and share your goals and timelines for your life. You’ll find out if he wants to be a part of it or not.
He doesn’t seem to be on the same page as you and seems as if he’s comfortable with things as they are. Unfortunately, if he’s unwilling to discuss the topic he probably won’t change. You’re the only one who knows your true situation and if it’s worth continuing on. If he loves you he will have this very important conversation. I think you really need to push the issue so that you don’t waste your time and energy any further. Does he even ever want children? If he doesn’t he may not be the man for you. Best wishes. Stay positive and strong.
Sounds like you guys aren’t on the same page. He isn’t ready, otherwise, you guys could talk about that without a problem. Think about what you really want and need, but don’t waste a decade waiting on him to be ready
If you’re having these feeling after a year I’d talk to him and maybe move on. It sounds like he’s not committed
If this is what you want you need to make it plain. Because if he doesn’t want this also, you need to move on.
I say give him 1 more year. Maybe leave it alone for now. And let me tell you, as someone that had their 2nd and 3rd kid in my 30s, I dont regret it at all. I felt like you at first, but it really isnt all that bad.
It will happen if it’s meant to happen. My husband and I knew “of” each other in high school. We dated other people at the time. We graduated in 2001 & 2003. Found each other in May of 2005, engaged Christmas of 2005. Had our daughter November of 2006. Married in 2007, had our son in 2012. We knew what we both wanted through trial and error relationships. We were both hurt by those relationships in almost the same exact way. We found that we had so much in common and couldn’t figure out why it took so long. Not to mention during our high school years we only lived 2 blocks away from each other. But if it’s truly meant to happen it will. It may not be with him. It maybe be with someone else. Or your roads might cross paths later on when you can both come to terms about how you want your future to be. If your feeling like it’s not going anywhere. Your gut may be telling you to move on. If you need to ask people on the internet about what to do. Then deep down you already know.
If he’s not even wanting to talk about it, he probably doesn’t even think about it… don’t wanna burst a bubble or be too harsh, but if he doesn’t talk about a serious future with you, he doesn’t see one… I hope it works out for you 
My personal opinion is if after a year he won’t even talk about it…it’s not gonna happen and you need to think about moving on !
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My partner and I got together in August, lived together by October and we are expecting a baby in February next year 
if at a year he can’t even discuss moving in together I’d assume he’s just sticking to the easy life with no view to change it
He isn’t ready for a commitment. Simple as that. I would not even bring up the topic anymore and just phase him out.
You have to talk to him,really he doesnt have future plans and if he really means that he sees you in The future he better explain his plans to you you need to have a deep talk and demand answers on why he dont want to plan !
Why should he help pay rent/bills in a place he doesn’t live in? He stays a few nights a week and you want him to help you! No! That’s wrong. And he shouldn’t have to think about the future and marriage and kids and all that after only being together a year!
You’re never gonna have what you want if you can even talk about it. The fact that the yes or no is unclear is a huge problem. He’s owes you the respect of knowing where he stands. A conversation isn’t asking too much.
Girl don’t let a boyfriend keep you from your husband. He says he sees you in his future bc you’re convenient. If he really did, he would be willing to at least talk about the future and discuss timelines. Men know within a few months if you’re the one or not.
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Its definitely a discussion you two need to have. At about a year in I had the discussion with my bf, but our situation is a bit different. We have both been married in the past and have our separate places. I have a house with my sister and family. So I’m more like your bf. I like living separately, it works for us. I love my bf to death, been together for almost 2 years now. We see eachother throughout the week and spend every other weekend together. It works for us. Another thing that needs to be talked about is marriage. Is it what both of you want in the future. After having a bad marriage in the past, I don’t want that again. I told him up front about that. It makes no difference if you are married or not.
I’d move on. A whole year and he is still unsure. 
I feel like if you know you know, and if you dont know then its probably not meant to last. My husband and I got engaged after 6 months of dating and married at a year. There was no doubt that he was my person. Not sure if my point is coming across haha all I’m trying to say is if he isn’t into it then he will probably never be.
He is definitely not committed to you and thinks of you as a “convenience”. It’s best if you end things now. As my Husband said, “A man will know within 3 months of dating whether or not she’s the one.” Men are logical thinkers. If he wanted to move forward, he would be communicating his thoughts with you.
Kinda sounds like he’s using you a bit… I’m so very sorry but that’s the instant vibe I recieved!
It kinda sounds like you two are on separate pages. Find someone on the same page. I had 2 relationships both 7+ years where it didn’t go anywhere and I finally got fed up. I eventually found a man who was perfect for me and wasn’t going to beat around the bush either (my biological clock is ticking too so to speak). He walked right into my life and knew what he wanted… we moved in together after 3 months, he asked me to marry him on our 1 year anniversary and 2 months later we got married. We are coming up on our 2 year anniversary soon and hoping to have a child together.
You’ve outgrown him, it happens. Decide if you want to keep growing or you want to wait for him.
It kinda sounds like he stringing you along.
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You never said how old he is. If he is also in his 20s he doesn’t want to make that commitment so young. Wait another year
He is getting everything he wants for free. Why should he commit to support you? Move on, he is not the one.
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Tell him how you feel, I would say pretty much what you said In the post, before you just leave but after you tell him then decide. But it sounds like you already have your answer.
I dealt with this and stayed for 11 years. Eventually realized it didn’t matter, you can’t make someone grow up. Now I’m happily married and have a wonderful family with someone who wants the same things I do.
If he is regularly at your home sleeping , eating, drinking using your amenities but not contributing. Then sorry hon sounds like he’s having he’s cake and eating it too.
Not wanting to commit or plan a future tells me he is not ready to settle down.
Sounds like he is happy free loading. That’s not fair.
girl relax, it’s only been 1 year…what’s the rush!? waww you young people these days a year probably feels like 10 now…
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Leave, men know exactly what they And will do everything they can to make it happen.
He isnt ready so stop pressuring him or move along to someone who can give you what you want right now.
You cannot push a man to do anything and if you keep bringing it up, it will ruin your relationship
It’s only been a year. That being said you have every right to tell him how you feel and what your expectations are for you moving forward…I want to be married by the time I am __…I want to have a house by the time I am __… I want to have children by the time I am __…say I understand you may not be ready for this, but I needed to be open and honest with you.
My husband didn’t propose to me till 3 monthes later on Christmas day in 2016 than we got married in 2018 and and just had our first kid almost 6 monthes ago and we agreed if we havnt started the process for babies by or within the next 3 years than we wont have anymore because he feels 30 is to old and I dont so thats what we compromised on and its working for us and we lived together atleast 1 year within of getting engaged and everything.
I’m sorry but your making everything convenient for him now so why should he move in or marry? (His possible thinking)
Your 27 sloooooow down. Nothing wrong with starting a family after 30.
Dump the boyfriend. If he’s not even open to talks now another year isn’t going to change that but you are in your youth.
The man you want is out there.
Drop him. A man who really loves you and wants a life with you won’t treat you like an option he can put on hold
If he isn’t ready to go to that level and you are,maybe you need to question what kind of man he is.Sounds to me like he isn’t ready to mature. Question yourself about how much more time you want to invest in this relationship. He doesn’t sound like a caring or committed type guy. If he isn’t real cut him loose and cut your losses.
I’d say if thats what you want in the next few years and open about it,which i get even though you are young the feeling maybe of the clock is ticking when it comes to having kids,ect…if he is or isnt he should be able to say it one way or another and adding that he’s not ready yet but I do want this in the future or i dont so you know. you have every right to know whether he is or isnt after a year. like i said he can still say im just not ready to rush into things but i do/dont want kids, I would like to be married / or dont…its not hard. people know what they want or dont. I’m one of the most slow moving people and I e always been up front when a man has said they want kids…i dont want anymore, or want to be married…i don’t right now or within 2-3 years of being with someone…i dont jump to i love you…but i know if i do or dont. I tell them im not one to say it days/weeks/couple months in and if they do i will run. If thats what you want in life and he knows if he seen a future he would atleast let you know in some way to reassure you. dont waste years on someone waiting and hoping tbey want what you want only to get years into it and he turns around and says peace this aint what i want. he would of known that and it just wasted time you could have been building with someone who wants the same even if slow moving still letting you know. I think thats one of the crappiest things for a person to do esp when the other wants kids and they dont and know it but leads them on then one day down the road says it or ends it and that person has nothing to show for all of that time and may have missed out on what theyve always wanted and put lots of time/energy/love/tears/soul into it hoping if they just hold on they’ll get there then hits a brick wall. So try to have a mature conversation letting him know honestly what you want for your future and if he can’t do the same, even if its not what you want atleast have the respect to tell you and it doesnt mean your pushing him thats a manipulation tactic to avoid the conversation. Being honest and wanting the same back whatever his answer is doesnt mean your ready to shoot out 2 kids and a dog, a huge wedding along with a 850 credit score from the coochie next week.
You should be able to talk about this… If he doesn’t want to seems he has something to hide or he does not want that and is afraid he will push you away cause you do.
Sounds like you’re just supplemental. He’s getting what he needs from you and that’s it. I know it’s tough. But you need to quit this relationship. You should be with someone that feels the same as you. Not just says that they feel the same. Big difference!
I would consider writing out your 5-year plan take some real time think about what’s going on right now and where you were really at and what you want to be doing in 5 years whether he’s in it or not and let him read it. If he asks where am I in this? Tell him I don’t know you haven’t wanted to discuss this where do you want to be? And then let it go if if he doesn’t come up with some real answers by the new year he is probably not ready and or you two or not compatible. I would let him go
I think you should tell him you want to let him know what you want in your future. He doesn’t have to respond or say a thing. Ask him to listen to you and then give him time. Whatever you tell him will make him think. He (in time) will either come to you and tell you his thoughts or he will run. If he runs…then let him go…he’s not ready. If he tells you his thoughts…then maybe that will help you make the decisions if he’s the right man for you! Just my opinion!
My fiancé and I had these conversations before we even met in person/started our relationship I feel having a conversation on what people want out of a relationship and the possibilities in the future is one of the things that need to be much more common practice so that people can know exactly how much compatibility they have with their expectations towards a relationship
Bad advice: I moved into my now husbands apartment without telling him. I mean he knew. I just kinda showed up and never left then came my furniture. 6 months later I was pregnant. Together 7 years, married for 6 in November and have two kids.
I wish you the best girl.
Move on. My husband and I started dating when I was 16.5 and I had a 6mth old son from being a dumb teenager, we started talking about our future almost immediately as I was in college and working as well. We got engaged when I turned 18, had our daughter when I was 21 and still rolling through life. Some plans some not.
Move on, he is still acting like a boy and hasn’t grown up…probably never will.
Now this is just something I read once upon a time in a magazine so don’t quote me on it. They say a man knows if he wants to marry the woman he’s dating within 4-5 months not saying they suppose to propose that fast but they know so if he don’t wanna talk about after a year or 2 maybe he thinks your not the one. I say sit down and have a serious conversation with him about what you want
Please look for someone else he doesn’t seem to like you asking questions! Move on
What do you have in common? Faith. Finances. Life goals. Moral beliefs. How compatible are you? What does his actions tell you? What do you want? When do you want it? Are you surrounded by individuals who are honest, kind snd generous?
What your communication is now is what it will be in the future. Doesn’t look good 
Men aren’t ready before 30. Do you love him or the idea of a family more?
Don’t waste your child bearing years waiting for him to be ready for a future. Start seeing other men and put him on the back burner!
Where is he living now ? Parents ? On his own ? Roommate?
Simple
You do you
Focus on you and what makes you happy
Live as you would if it was just you
If he wants a future with you he’s will follow
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Leave now. If he’s not on the same page and in the same place of life of you. It’s gonna be a real hard fruitless line to walk.
He’s being honest with you, he’s not ready
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Why are you wasting your time?
Why buy the cow when u can get the milk for free smh
You are sadly wasting your time. Dump him immediately. Life is too short for users like this guy.
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I will be blunt dear but It takes a min to decide if u want to spend the rest of ur life with someone or not. Always define ur relationship from the start. Ask him what he wants and tell him what u want. Don’t be scared. If it doesn’t concise, You move on. No one is worth wasting years of your life on. Love comes with commitment, dedication and responsibilities. If he isn’t ready, don’t go flogging a dead cow. Or else u will be there another year if not more, waiting. 27years should be getting ready to settle down.
Girl you are going to be waiting forever for that man.
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Don’t drop the topic, drop the man! Not worth your time.
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Sounds like commitment issues to me
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I have been there and I would honestly just move on!
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I’m sorry but you sound like a very independent woman and a responsible one. You can do better than that. I say, kick him to the curve and go find yourself a real man.
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Why are you allowing this ?
Doesn’t sound like a man but a man child. Those take YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS IF EVER to grow up. Good luck with that.
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I would start dating again. Because it doesn’t sound like he’s ready for a commitment. If he is not talking about a future after a year, then it’s time to move on. He doesn’t have to want to move in, but just talking about a future together is kind of important I feel.
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Ur an option…(pass time 4 him) he’s waiting 4 better…
Find u some1 who deserves u💛
YOLO! Whatever feeling you have on your gut, go with it! The gut never lies 
If he’s in he’s in. If he’s not he’s not.
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Girl, cut his ass off!! Dont waste years waiting for him to b ready when in all honesty, your probably just not the one he wants to settle down with. It took a hard pill to swallow and 12 years wasted to understand this statement that i just said to u. If he wanted a future with u he would b rite there talking it out with u. He is getting what he wants without the commitment. Id say boy bye, and move along✌
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Rent he is your boyfriend not husband he’s not obligated to pay rent but let him go he sees you as a toy
Man School 202
You should listen to what Dante Nero says about relationships.
Don’t settle for someone who can’t even have a conversation about what he wants in the future.
If he can’t even discuss it then it’s time to move on. You could be missing out on the man of your dreams waiting on someone who isn’t looking for a future other than the way things are now.
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He should know what he wants by now…
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Ditch out girl, you’re being taken for a ride!
Cut the cord my friend
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I didn’t even finish reading. He is wasting YOUR time. Get rid of that nonsense.
Close the door on that relationship. He’s comfortable but probably not totally into you. He’s not looking to go further but doesn’t want to ruin his access to sex until he finds something that’s for sure better and available. That’s gonna end in you pressuring him into marriage and a divorce. Save yourself the heart ache and move on.
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I’m my experience guys like that aren’t going to change… he’s probably saying that because he doesn’t wanna talk about it.
If he’s not trying to better both of your lives it’s not worth it.
Especially if you want a family
The right person will be ready to live with you and start a family. I was in a relationship 3 years with someone exactly like your boyfriend and it went no where.
1 year with my boyfriend and we found out I was pregnant… almost 3 years now and we have a beautiful daughter and have lived together since 3 months
Dump him find someone else, you are being used
Because its already like youre living together just without the commitment of bills, a lease/mortgage, etc. I would cut off any sleepovers and simply do public outings together until he could at least have a conversation about it. Telling a man you are wanting him to commit when already giving him the price of said commitment (like sleepovers, him occasionally getting to wake up next to you, etc) is just not gonna work. Why commit when youre already getting your prize that the said commitment would give you.
I was with my baby daddy for 3 years we had a baby together and when he was about 2 i got pregnant with our 2nd son and i we started to talk about a future he was it for me and i saw us building a beautiful life and family i callef his mom mom and she called me her daughter in law…but he kept pushing of us getting a house together and i couldnt understand why ( we both had our own places) and were stable … I found out when i was about 5 months pregnant that he may have got someone else pregnant at the same time it tore my world apart he immediately moved her into his house i cried and begged lost all dignity…smh it wasnt his baby but thats how i found out about her and came to realize that he never wanted that with me he was using me and i was his comfort spot and he wanted me on the back burner and to give him what he wanted when it was always just for show…i literally had no idea but i should have. I was so busy picturing and working towards this future for us that i didnt realize if he wanted that he would of done it in a heartbeat. Not that this is exactly the same…but my point is men know what they want and will do whatever it takes to keep it if they truly want it. So have the conversation if he cant even talk to you about it and tell you upfront what he does or does not want then let it go. You should never have to force it.
I mean this is just my opinion , because men tend to drag their feet 
in situations like this , he sees you as a convience as in he don’t have problem laying in your house 
eating 
in your house , having sex with you in YOUR house but when it comes to big things then he gets cold 
feet 
, everybody does grown shit but when it comes to common sense , it’s a continued development in a persons mind. Idk 
You keep saying you’re in no rush and you don’t want to jump into anything. Yet you said you are clearly on a time line to start having children before you’re 30.
So that would mean that you need to get pregnant next year. I’m not saying your boyfriend won’t be ready for these things with you, but he is definitely telling you he isn’t ready to make plans anytime soon. Let alone ready to act on plans, if you set those out.
Sometimes not having a discussion and paying attention to what someone isn’t saying needs to be answer enough.
It just depends how much more time you’re willing to wait and see if your ideas align on your future.
The next step for him maybe living together in another year, possibly?However it’s doubtful since he won’t even discuss that as a long term goal. But I don’t imagine that even if that is the case ,that he thinks the next step would be marriage and kids right away.
I would put off living together and give yourself 6 months to a year with him and then let him know that you are ready for more and if he’s not ready for that then you should probably go separate ways so you’re not wasting time and hurting each other. But if it were me, if I gave him more time whether it be a year from now or six months I would expect an engagement. Don’t move in together. That would just be another stall to wait more time.
Time you don’t want to wait. So then find someone who wants what you want. Just know that if you do wait, you’re basically committing to that indefinitely.
My fiancé said move to Charlotte and I showed up 5 hours later at his door. 5 years later we are engaged and have 5 kids collectively. I had 1, he had 3, we had 1 together.
Haven’t been apart since day one. He still thinks I’m insane though. Respectfully.
But yeah uhh when you know you know and your boyfriend doesn’t seem to know. And after a year there’s no way to not know.
Move on, carry on. This isn’t the man for you. And for the love OF ALL THINGS do not settle for more than everything you want in a man, you’re gonna end up with someone who keeps the thermostat at 78 and then he’s gonna marry your best friend when you die.
Just be transparent. It’s now or never, baby!
Say what you typed, listen to his response, may the odds forever be in your favor
If he is not ready he is not ready period stop pushing it.
Let’s cut the chase
He does not love you enough to openly honestly discuss never mind commit
You are being used, being a man this is the fact.
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He dont want to commite or pay bills.time to go.
I mean I’m kinda like your boyfriend. I just enjoy having my own space. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to get married or have a family with my significant other. We’re having a baby and Im still pushing off him moving into my place.
Honestly a year really isnt that long and moving in together is a huge step. It really sucks that he doesnt want to at least talk about it though
Relax, a year is not a long time to be with someone. Give him some time.
You are the red flags of the relationship. Lol if he isn’t ready to talk about those things or move to that step why are you being so pushy? You can’t expect someone to do that just because you want to that quickly.
You cannot expect someone after a year to want all of that. On top of it you can’t have him paying rent just because he sleeps over
You can’t base your love off of someone not wanting to completely jump into living with you, and starting a family. The way you’re acting is fr a major red flag and I hope he can see that.
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Run now!! He mooching off of you and wasting your time.
If this was me
I would aim for some independence, starting straight away.
Like if he comes over every second day…
Say no.
Not tonight.
Go out with friends or not but do not be there for him at his whims.
This is not too hurt him it’s too enable you to feel out the situation another way.
Watch his reactions.
There’s an old saying…
If you love something, set it free…
If it comes back it’s yours
If it doesn’t it never was!!
Its seems he wants his cake and he wants to eat it… but no commitment at all!
That’s not a partnership that I would try to keep.
Love is love…
It sounds like he loves you but not enough to commit to you and make a future together.
That kind of love hurts you more in the long run!!
Life’s far to short waiting on the wrong man!!
Well, its only been a year
4 years and 2 kids and never had the discussion or lived together. Broken up almost 3 years and now we talk about it.
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It’s only been a year how bout wait to you get to know each other cause right now I can promise you that you don’t