Stop waiting for him to make the decisions. You need to make you happy. Have an honest conversation with him and if he cant commit then move on. He can commit to having sex with you but not moving forward…a huge red flag right there. Dont sell yourself short. It does not sound like he wants what you want.
He isn’t ready nor in your ballpark sweetie… sorry but if u push it even a little …it won’t end well … Ule just end up “raising “ him
Prepare yourself to wave bye bye after you quit delivering what he wants.
Honestly, it’s different with everyone. I met my husband at 16 in high school, he asked me to marry him at 22 and we tied the knot when I was 27. I’m now 30, have my own house, car and I’m expecting our first baby. Prior to this we lived with family for most of our lives. Some guys just take awhile
He likes things the way they are translated to “I don’t wanna marry YOU.”
He’s not as emotionally invested in this relationship as you are. Time to end this and find someone who wants the same kind of life that you do.
Don’t waste anymore time with him. Find a guy who is goal oriented, persistent and knows what he wants and will do everything to achieve it.
Girl run, run and don’t look back…
Dump him…this ain’t going anywhere!
Hey I feel ya here. My boyfriend an I have been together for 4 years an we lived together after 5 mths for the first 2 years now we dont an he rather stay in his dumb of a place an shows no signs of growing up or wanting more faster!
First of all everyone else needs to stay out of this. As far as the problem just make it clear where you stand and leave it at that. If it’s meant to be it will happen but it’s never good to push anyone. If given a little more time and you feel you need to move on with your life then do so.
you start off by complaining about him spending the night but doesnt pay any rent🤷♀️can you not see the wrong in that🤔
My brother and his wife didn’t get married till After almost 3 years of dating. Some people want a couple years to know it’s right and I can’t blame them.
The right man for you wont hesitate. End of.
Sounds like you “really care” for your boyfriend. Trouble is. He “just likes” you. Hes getting his cake and eating it too. I would be very.careful about how I make a real decision to stay or go.
You are being played sweetie.
Remember this quote.
“BE BOLD IN WHAT YOU STAND FOR AND CAREFUL WHAT YOU FALL FOR”
your in my prayers…
Over a year???! and he doesn’t even wanna discuss the future? He ain’t the one I’m sorry
I need to know how ling youve beem together
To give you an education opinion
#itmatters
Why rush it ya know? It takes more than a year or 2 to really know someone. My fella and I were officially “boy friend and girlfriend” after 2 years and moved in after 4 years. We’re still together and have a kiddo together. I’m happy we took our time
If he doesn’t, he won’t.
He’s comfortable. Move on!
You should not be rushing these topics, sad sad sad
It hasn’t been that long…I would feel pushed and rushed too and I’m 43
You are rushing stuff, slow down gees.
This guy"s surname is USER
Nope. He’s not the one. Time to move on. Sorry!
Im dating that type of woman. She’s at home im on my own both of us have one kid. 3 years in she still doesn’t have her own place… what’s a key to my house I said give me a key to yours… she said no… she answered her own question.
I would say chill. It’s been what, just over a year, yeah? You need to be on the same page and work at the same pace - you can’t expect him to want to just because you do. Work on your relationship and get to where you guys can make that happen if he wants that. I wouldn’t feel comfortable discussing it this soon eso when there’s kids involved. You’re going to push this guy away. Take it easy.
He’s obviously not wanting to commit to you just wants the benefits. I was involved with someone like that for 4 years so I know how it goes. If he wants u to respect where he’s at well, the least he can do is be a man and hear you out. If he can’t even do that, then maybe it’s time to evaluate your situation
I think you should decide what you want and go for it. Don’t wait and hope that he’ll want what you want because you’ll hurt yourself for waiting for him to be ready and he doesn’t get ready after 4 or so years.
You are wasting your time with him. If someone thought of you in the future and cared enough not to give you doubts they would have spoken those words. LEAVE that loser.
Been with the same woman for 3 years she ain’t moving in anytime soon! Be thankful.
Bye bye,he doesn’t want it
You’ve only been together a year. Relax.
Over a year isnt a “super long time”
Men are wirth your life decisions you move on
Actions count more than words !!
Drop the loser. He’s only in it for the easy sex.
This is coming from a mama of two. My children are in their 30s and I would give them the same advise. DONT WAIT. live your life and look for someone who wants what you want. You only have one life.
On both sides there’s nothing wrong with your ideals.
However, if you are not on the same page, heading for the same goals, now is a great time to walk.
If you aren’t compatible in your future goals you may as well end it now without any resentment or ill feeling.
If you wait it out till he’s ready you will end up resenting him.
Oh Girl. Whatcha waiting around on him for?? You better dump him like a bad dream and move on. You’ll never get anywhere like this and 5 years down the line, you’ll still be waiting on his lazy ass.
He doesn’t need to be your BF anymore . Run
There used to be a time when people dated for awhile, got engaged, married and then moved in together . Maybe I’m getting old.
Break the relationship with him !
He’s not the one, if after a year you guys aren’t on the same page then it’s time to find people who are.
I wasted almost 4 years with someone who I thought I wanted a future with. I kept trying to talk about kids, marriage moving in together, his answer was “when the time comes it will come”. Finally after being together for over 3 years he moved in. I kept trying to get answers he wasn’t interested. He didn’t seem too interested in me anymore so after a few months of living together chance after chance I told him kindly that we weren’t right for each other and to please leave. He left & now I am with someone who loves me & wants a true forever with me. My point is don’t waste on the guy who doesn’t want to love and be with you properly. You will have regrets and you’ll waste your time.
Your already committed to having multiple children and this guy can’t even commit to talking about one. You two are not even close to being on the same page
Do you just want to be married and have kids just to do it? Or do you want to do it with someone you want to go through life with? You mentioned being with him for a year but no reason of why you really want to plan a future with him.
Omg! You have been together for a year. Relax !!
Your both just not on the same page of what each other needs or wants, seems you want more than he does, with that being said just let things be and don’t bring it up to him anymore the more silent you are the more it will make him think
I dont think he wants the same as you id say its time to move on and find someone who shares your dreams
Are you trying to convince us or you or did you want a specific answer? Seems like you already know what you need to do.
Give it time. Y’all don’t even totally know each other yet. My husband & I have been married for 5 years, together for 11. The time will come to discuss those things.
He sounds like he is hesitant because he is uncertain of things between you two. Don’t push him and think about if this relationship is going in the right direction for you.
Time doesn’t matter if it’s the one. I met my now husband in December 2017 and moved states and moved in with him July 2018. Only seven months. And we had only talked a month before we started dating. We just knew. I know it doesn’t happen that way with everyone. But if he won’t even realistically discuss your future and make plans, he doesn’t want a future with you. If he cared, truly cared, he would make it known. If he feels embarrassed to talk about his relationship with you in front of his family, then what is he hiding? Sounds like he’s just comfortable and doesn’t want to hurt you and likes the pace where you are now but doesn’t want any more than that. And at your ages, (I just turned 29) if you don’t have a plan for the future, you’re not gonna do much. Especially if you have a significant other. If both of you were in the same page about not getting married anytime soon and not wanting kids anytime soon it would be different. But the fact that you want to move forward and he won’t,… well. I’d say have a big sit down and reallly talk it out. But it sounds like you can find much better honey.
Move on. A man knows within 6 months if he wants to have a future with a woman. its been a year and he’s not sure? no, just move on.
You are wasting your life on this guy.
If he’s not even comfortable having a discussion where he thinks the relationship is going, he’s definitely not the one. Maybe he’s not ready to move in YET, but if having a mature conversation about it and saying if things go… then maybe … he can’t even do that. He either isn’t that into you, or it’s possible he cares to some extent but has no intention of settling down for several years. You have to decide if this guy is worth waiting for IF you think he may eventually settle down. It’s a risk, he may just not be into marriage/kids and be unwilling to have that talk because he knows that’s something you want.
He isnt a man he is a boy playing house with you and will do it as long as you allow. What if you do have a child? Will you pay all the bills and pay for the child and still be ok with it? He is showing his true colors do not be shocked they dont change when you really need them.
He probably isn’t really feeling a future with you. Men know what they want. They know if they want to marry you within the 1st 6 months. Men will be more than ready to move in with the love of their life in a years time. They will discuss future plans and where you fit in, as well as where they want to be with you in the future.
red flag, you are wasting your time. as a woman, if you want to start a family in the next couple of years and he wont even discuss it, you are not on the same page and you need to get out NOW and find someone that wants what you want.
The harsh truth of the matter being is that if he is building a future that doesn’t include you. Where you are only dating, and although you might love him wholeheartedly, you both clearly have different future plans and if you are looking for something more serious or even marriage, then you need to step away from the current relationship and find it with someone else.
Time to make a change
Coming from someone who moved in after a few months then got knocked up, I don’t see it as pushy. He obviously isn’t ready and sadly he may never be. You know what you want, do not settle! A man that sees a future with you openly talks about ideas and dreams alongside the woman he wants without hesitations.
It’s ok to not be in the same place as him and vice versa but it’s also ok to walk away peacefully and find what you are looking for and be fulfilled!
If your really not trying to rush, then you won’t be having babies before 30, not with someone not even willing to talk about your future together yet. That gives you 3 years, if your planning on doing it “right” so moving in first step, engagement next, then marriage before children, you need a lot longer then 3 years. So that being said, you should now ask yourself if he’s the one you want to keep going on this journey with, if your answer is yes?, then you need to slow your role and let him come to these steps himself, when he’s ready. If your not willing to wait for him to be ready, because let’s be honest, if he isn’t ready, then your both going to regret jumping into something permanent, you need to leave and find someone who’s in the same place in life as you are and also ready to plan a family! Good luck!!!
Red flag girl! Don’t waste your time. Put up boundaries and see how he reacts. It sounds just like a guy I tried having a relationship with and ended up wasting 2yrs of my life. He’d come over, eat my food, spend the night and yet not once did he ever repay me or help out in anyway. There’s someone better who’ll treat you right and respect you. If he’s not willing to talk about a future with you then move on.
You don’t really know someone untill you live together. Good luck
Where does he live? And how many days or nights does he stay at ur house? Does he spend any money towards you? (Not that he has to) just wondering if your always paying for things… take out/dates?
Omg I lived this exact situation before. It sucked so bad. I finally got out of it after 3 years.
If he’s not willing to really talk about future, he’s wasting your time… you can’t say “I see you in my future” but not take any steps or have an active conversation about what it will look like… sorry darling …
sounds like you guys are not even close to the same place and you are wasting your time with him. If you want move and yet a year in he doesn’t even seems to be thinking about it? Sounds like a red flag. I think you should get out and not waste time you could be investing in someone who has the same end game goals as you. There is nothing wrong with ‘not wanting to get married’ or live with someone if that is not what he want, but since it’s not what YOU want, you two are not compatible as a couple. Don’t keep investing in a relationship hoping ‘he will change his mind one day.’ or ‘he will wake up and want what you do’ You will just become bitter, and at the end of the day have nothing to show for it. He however will be able to say it was your choice to stay knowing this is all there is.
Keyword boyfriend u can leave
Sweetie first off life doesn’t happen on your terms - putting that pressure on yourself and partner only results in unhappiness. Second -metaphorically- why should he buy the cow if he gets free milk from it.
Third - He apparently isn’t ready and sounds kind of immature for you kiddo. If you two can’t communicate now - you won’t later -
Put your foot down.
Stop doing wife things with the title of a girlfriend.
Don’t have him sleep over. That’s very convenient for HIM.
No rent, he gets to hook up and spend the night.
Wanna hook up? Ok. Hook up and leave at 12a, 1a, 2a…
Make him feel it.
Why does he get to wake up holding you after a good nights rest?
Wth come on now
If a man wants to be with you… He would be
Move on, sounds like you’re the side while he stays available
Honestly you two had a lovely time together but you want different things. Time to move on and find someone who shares the same life goals
I don’t even have to read all of this to tell you stop wasting your time on what might happen. I was in my last relationship 6 years and we have a son. He would never commit. Now I’ve been in one 2 years and we live together we are enganged and he treats me with nothing but respect. Sorry honey hes not ready to grow up.
How old is he?
And you can’t force him to be ready for those things. If you have your life all planned out, good for you, but it doesnt sound like he wants his life planned out yet. 27 is young still no need to rush things.
Take living together out of t he equation. It does nothing towards a future it just complicated your life and is no guarantee of a solid future in marriage if he’s not ready quit pushing or you will have no future. You need to be more concerned with falling in love, then the rest will take care of itself. Having sex is not love.
Why would he get married when you’re already doing everything for him?? He’s not going to settle anytime soon…move on
How about stop sleeping with him? You will then get your answer.
Never give a man more than a year without a ring. Next
If Hes not Able to Talk about it Hes not Mature enough for You Hes just Enjoying the Intimacy.
I didn’t even read it all. Dump him😂
Leave girl. Don’t waste another day. Life is too short and you aren’t gonna ever be any younger than you are today.
A project not a partner.
Doesn’t sound like he’s committing. He is just using your house and food and stuff . Tell him if he ain’t comfortable with moving in together then there are no sleep overs and coming over to your house much
I would just keep myself in the dating scene. That way you will find someone with the same interests. Your boyfriends not ready and you are better moving on.
QUIT WASTING time move on
Don’t waste your time move on find someone that has the same interests as you. He has told you he isn’t looking for a long term relationship.
Its a tough one but at this age (I’m 27 too) I think the way you both feel is normal. You might just not be on the same page and if so, you have to decide if you’re willing to compromise. If you’re not, and with babies and women it’s hard, then even if you love eachother maybe it just not your time together. Good luck x
From my point of view he seems to have an avoidant attachment style to you, where else you are looking for a secure attachment and know what you want. Simply put, you’re not compatible in a sense of what you’re looking for. Avoidant people tend to be very comfortable living on their own and cannot fathom why you would want anything other than basics. I hope you find someone who will share a comfortable, happy life full of plans and love.
I would not live with someone unless I had been with them for a year minimum… I think you need to decide what your pace is, if he isn’t up for your pace… then you have to move on… or accept your pace won’t be met.
Similar situation except we lived together. I would bring up kids and marriage saying it’s something I wanted for the future, he’d always brush it off. Until finally he said he doesn’t want it and moves out…he came around later saying he changed his mind, but jokes on him because I have a wonderful family now with the man of my dreams. A man who truly wants those things with you will not hesitate to make it known.
Sounds like he isn’t mature. I just recently left my ex of three years because he just wanted to be a child and not an adult and live an adult life. Even though we do have two kids. He wouldn’t work, wouldn’t save when he did work. And the person I’m with now, has a job, wants a future (thankfully we both are done with having kids) but after a month and a half he already SHOWS me what he wants and what he plans for our future! Trust your HEART
Seems a lil one sided u can wait and hope or u can move on to someone who is ready for the same things that align with you.
Always focus on if their vision aligns with yours or if your ok with their vision. More importantly you are young af and it’s ok to alter a plan but mindful u don’t have to live together. Set boundaries
Ask him straight up…
Do you ever see a marriage…
Do you want kids?? If so with me?? How many??
Tell him your not pushing but even though you live him you don’t want to waste years on someone who doesn’t want same things .
If you want few kids and are close to 30 but don’t want to start then obviously you are close to being ready .he’s not even willing to move in together you two are in total different levels of life…
Be honest…speak up and ask before you waste your youth
You can’t force anyone into something they aren’t ready for. If you haven’t been together very long then maybe you’re trying to move to fast. You can “plan” your life but sometimes things don’t happen the way we want. A relationship is a two way street…a partnership…it won’t work if one person focuses on their own needs and wants instead of their partners. You are ready for the long haul but he isn’t. He may be scared or skeptical. Give yourself a decent sized limit (ex.a year or etc) and leave him alone about it. If he doesn’t bring it up or the conversation doesn’t come back around by then you can decide to wait further or cut ties.
He comfortable the way things are and that is unfortunate. Sounds like he has the best of both worlds , why would he want any different… just sayin
Stop making it so easy (no pun intended)
Call me old fashioned, I don’t mind