I don’t know if this is really advice or reassurance I am needing.
I’ve been with my S/O a little over 3.5 years. He’s a great guy. We were just friends when I ended up getting pregnant. We was just friends during that time because I had just got out of a very manipulative relationship a few months prior and wasn’t ready. I had plans to move out of town and thought when I got pregnant this was my sign to stay. My child is probably the best thing to ever happen in my life and I’m forever thankful to god that he gave him to me when he did. With that being said, I wanted to give my baby the chance to live in a home with his mother and father. I thought I would learn to love him in a way more then just friends. Because relationships are hard and sometimes you’ve got to fight to love someone…
When I gave birth I realized I did love him a little more because I seen how much love he had for our son. We’ve never really connected on a mental, or spiritual level which has lead to a lot of problems in other areas.
I told him a few months back that I wasn’t in love with him. I love him because he is my fathers son, and he is hands down a phenomenal father. He stepped up and really started helping me around the house and what not, but I think I’ve done talked myself out of it all. I’m not happy, I get no satisfaction in the relationship. He doesn’t communicate with me. It’s always just “ok.” It’s to the point when I’m driving home after picking up my son I’m dreading to go because I’ll have to interact with him and it makes me feel like a horrible person.
How do I go about saying I’m just done? How do I disrupt my 3 year old life when he loves his daddy more than me most days? How do I live with the guilt that he’s not a bad man, a bad father, he doesn’t abuse me, would give the shirt off of his back to a stranger, but I don’t love him? I am having a really hard time with this. I keep telling myself my life isn’t that bad. I worked my ass off to try and help him to become more responsible and get a good head on his shoulders.
Thanks guys, don’t eat me alive. I’m already doing it to myself.
Just because someone is a good person doesn’t mean you owe them your life. You both would be better off apart… able to move on. You both deserve to have someone that loves all of you, not just parts of you. You both deserve happiness. Your child will be fine as long as you both continue to show him love.
Really???
lol i dont even know how to shout at u o scold u to make u understand that u wil never get beter than him…i dno mayb u would b happy if he negleted n bashed u up everyday? asking for frend 
let him go…he deserves better and to find someone that loves him
hes too good for you
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Grass always looks better on the other side but when you get there most of the time really regret it. Think hard before you make the mistake of a lifetime and hurt a good person also. He really deserves someone that loves him not just because of a father figure but as a husband
You only have one life … go live it you and him both deserve love
Before you make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings, I think you should seek counseling for yourself.
You deserve love as does he. The good thing will be if you can keep your friendship and coparent really well. What matters most is that little boy is loved and taken care of. Just don’t put him in the middle. I have been there when you don’t love someone. Life is too short not to.be in love. He deserves to fall in love and feel it back. Good luck to you.
Just because you have a kid with someone doesn’t mean you have to spend your whole lives together… Yes its the dream to have a child with someone and be with them and have your kid all the time and love your spouse and him love you the same without having to coparent but you dont love him as time goes on your just going to be more miserable and he is going to be miserable or him think he isn’t good enough and your son will get older and start understanding and seeing this…it isnt good for anyone …you just need to be honest with him its going to be hard but if you truly dont lo0ve him you need to have that talk and figure out a co parent plan for your baby 
I wish you and your family the best
Your whole situation aside… he’s a good father. And being a single parent is HARD. Like think how hard it might be and then multiply that times 1000.
Not in any way trying to bash or insult you. But it sounds like he may be open to working on building yall a better connection and that may be a place to start before you throw your hands up and regret it later.
The father of my second child and I were very much in the same boat as you and he. Almost 100% except I also had a daughter from a previous relationship. He’s an amazing dad but probably not the best boyfriend or at least that’s what I thought bc I wasn’t feeling all the butterflies but after a LOT of work and open communication I can absolutely say that I love him. I hate that stigma “don’t stay with him/her just bc you have a baby” bc if yall are good at parenting together then I promise you can work through anything with him. Best of luck though
Give that baby to his daddy and you do you. Visit whenever you want to. That’s what it sounds like to me
He deserves better than you and you deserve one of the shitty men there are still left out there. Let him go.
Maybe before making any permanent decisions you guys take a break and separate for awhile? Do some therapy. Live in different houses and see if it’s truly what you want. That person was right, about the grass always being greener on the other side. Id try that first, and then if you decide for sure that he’s not for you, then move on because he deserves someone who loves him for who he is.
Do what you feel is right. I went through this with my first child’s father he wasn’t as amazing to me as he sounds to be to you but he is a great father. My daughter struggles with the fluctuating households but I am now in a happy relationship with her step father who is so good to her, I have a hard time with myself for breaking her family up so early but I don’t regret leaving a situation I was not happy in. It’ll take time but things will workout and who knows maybe he will find a woman who loves your boy and you’ll find someone as well! Life is life girl
Think you guys could sit down and talk about possibly living together as friends and parents but not be together? I know that’s worked for a handful of people I know who got pregnant literally when they were just friends. Or maybe even find a duplex so you can live right next door to each other and your babe could see you both daily but you both still have separate personal lives? Like, you could have dinner every night as a family at someone’s half of the duplex and put little to bed together and then just kind of, do your own thing? Just a shot in the dark. Don’t keep making yourself and him miserable. When two people are good people there’s always a great solution. Just have to work together to find it 
You can’t help who you love, ur not a bad person hunny he’s just not the right one. Let him go. Coparent n move on.
Why do so many women in these comments always believe its better to be miserable with a man then be alone?
There seems to be a lot of self esteem issues in these comments.
Let him go. Let him have a chance to have someone who will return that amount of love he gives. Don’t cheat him out of real love.
I’ve been here!!! And worse I stayed (for the sake of the child) child is now 17 and wants nothing to do with the “good” and fun parent but realizes who supported her and did what had to be done at the expense of my own happiness because I believed her happiness was mine… Sounds selfish but it’s truly not. Kids grow up and would rather see a happy mom than a sad one. You can make your child’s life better when you are also happy. Good luck
Your feelings are just that. You won’t know how you truly feel until you leave. Maybe you do love him and won’t see it until you part ways. Or maybe you truly don’t love him and parting ways will be the right decision. Either way you’re feeling lost, either way you’re feeling like whatever it is either isn’t good enough or it’s just not him you want it coming from. Leave. Leave and your heart will talk to you. Allow yourself enough courage that your little boy will always be okay, he has you both and always will. Don’t wait until he is at a crucial age and you regret not figuring it out sooner.
There are some really terrible comments here. You all need to stop being so rude. You cannot help how you feel about someone and she never said that she didn’t appreciate him she said that she is not in love with him so by everyone’s logic here she should just deal with it and live the rest of her life miserable and unhappy with somebody that she doesn’t love
I think you two need to have a very deep, totally honest conversation than get counseling. All is not lost yet. Stop telling yourself you don’t love him. I’m afraid your talking yourself right out of being able to love him.
He sounds like a good man. Leave him and go see what garbage is out there waiting for ya 
You cant force yourself to be in love with him or anyone else. This relationship started out the same way it is now. You, him ans your child deserves better. You already dont want to go home, youre going to resent this man soon. Move on, do your best to stay friends and be amazing coparents.
Sometimes 2 homes are better than 1
Try dating each other again
Let him go he deserve someone that will truly love him and not waste his time. Unless you are willing to go on dates and getting to know him better poor guy
I don’t think it would hurt to try marriage counseling first, that way you can really say you both gave it a good shot. If it doesn’t work after that I’d split.
It sounds like you’re depressed and projecting accidentally. Get yourself in therapy, get both of you in couples counseling, and figure out the root of the issue. “I’m dreading interacting with this man who does absolutely nothing wrong at all” is a massive red flag that there is something wrong with YOU, not the relationship or him.
What exactly do u want?? U seem to have a good man that loves u and the kid u have together and u wanna walk away cause u dont feel some factitious cloud 9 love all the time?? Then when u get out there and discover ur not gonna find another man like that ur gonna be singing a different tone. First good men are hard to come by let alone a good man who’s also a good father. U sound like u have a good life and a good thing going if ud get ur head together…I’d suggest counseling for urself and finding out why u feel the way u do before u go exploding everyone’s lives.
Everything can be learned. Even love.
You sound ungreatful…I could show you a shitty babyfather…mine lives around the corner and isn’t seen mine in a year…twice maybe in two…you don’t even know you got a good one…how sad…make it hard for the rest of us being beat and abused…
Let him find someone who loves him. Co parent. You’re going to have to have a long chat and maybe some family counseling
The best way to start out is being friends, the love will creep in. I was good friends with my husband 57 years ago, he was very thoughtful and we had so much fun, then we just began to realize we really loved each other. Been married 58 years now. Terrific family!
If you have found someone else that’s a different story. The first blush of passion wears off, but friendship and caring continues.
If you’re still “friends” and can handle being in the house together, I would recommend an open marriage.
Tell him exactly what you just said. This raw honesty. You guys hopefully can stay friends and coparent amazingly together.
The way I see it, you made a commitment before God. I’m not sure if you’re religious or not (not trying to project my religion onto you, but you asked for advice so this is what I would tell a friend). Go to counseling, go on dates, reconnect with him. Marriage isn’t always “love.” Many days I feel like roommates with my husband. It takes a lot of work to feel a partnership.
Love is a choice that you make every day. “Butterflies” and all that is just hormones, not love. I recommend couples counseling and counting your blessings.
Write one thing positive down about him everyday.
Write one happy memory with him down everyday .
Watch what happens…
Think the romance is gone. Make that real again. U lucky to have a man that is all that. U need to heal from ur past relationship coz that is causing this projection. Do some self healing first before u disrupt ur sons life. Sudden changes will affect him later on. Good luck u got this.
Looks like you’ve made your mind up already
Give him the freedom he deserves and let him have custody of your son. You have a long time ahead of you to work on yourself to mature and have more confidence and respect for yourself.
You disrupt your 3yr old because you want him to see what a healthy relationship looks like. So they learn that you don’t have to stay in an unhappy situation for someone else. Everything you do is a direct example of what you are telling your 3yr old, is ok. I went through this same thing a year and a half ago. It’s hard and it will hurt but it is the best thing I ever did. Honestly, my then 1 and 2 yr old actually thrived without the tension.
If you didn’t ever “love him” idk why you married him… but I would leave now so yous can be good friends and coparent before you resent him. You both will be much happier!
You and the boyfriend had unprotected sex, which made a precious child. There is no abuse. A child needs both parents. I’m sorry, but you should grow up and lie in the bed you made. Made a good wife and parent.
I think you should give counseling a try, try to do all the fun things you did with him as friends… once a week, plan a date night just you and him. Make sure you have a babysitter
Remember these strangers on the internet don’t know a dang thing about you. Take their advice with a grain of salt. Mine too, The MOST IMPORTANT thing is your happiness and your child’s welfare. Your child deserve to see their mom happy, and deserves to see what a happy healthy relationship looks like. When you’re miserable your kids feel that. Take it from me, who stayed in an abusive relationship, so I didn’t have a broken Family for far too long. Don’t stay for the kid. It never works that way, and you’ll just prolong the inevitable. Get it over with while he’s young. Take care of yourself, so you can take care of that baby.
If you don’t love him move on… life is too short to be unhappy!
You can’t find happiness in others until you find it in yourself… Reading your post I feel that you have forgotten how to love and respect you… once you do this… other parts of your life will fall into the correct place…
Have you thought about counseling? Sometimes time and space is something you need?
Ok so I feel like I can relate to this on some level. This brings me back to my younger days when there were some pretty all around perfect boys that I totally loved as friends but couldn’t get past the friends part. They were literally everything a girl would want in a boyfriend but the fire just wasn’t there for me. I knew they would grow up to be amazing husbands and make someone very happy, just not me…. I don’t think your doing anything wrong. You tried, you wanted to love him, you wanted to make this work but the desire is not there on your part. THATS OK!! But what you do from here is the important part. Don’t lead him on, don’t lead yourself on. You both deserve to be with someone who you love and loves you back, who you desire and the spark is there. I mean hey I give you props for even trying but you can’t force love as you now know. I suggest you have a serious conversation with him, tell him your feelings and be honest with him. If you think this is beyond couples therapy then I suggest you start planning your life without him ( place to live, car in your name, phone in your name…) your son will be just fine. He will adjust to having mommy and daddy living separate, he will be ok. It’s going to be tough at first for all involved but honesty is the best medicine! I’m sorry you are going through this and I wish you the best
It’s better to have loved and lossed than never have loved at all.
“if you love someone, set them free; if they come back to you, it was meant to be… if it continues to fly, let it soar, and have faith that God has something better in store.
You have many options but both of you need to agree if you choose any that involve staying together.
Open Marriage: sleeping with other partners
Polyam: dating other people (many different styles of polyam)
Separating but living together
Divorcing
Etc
My husband and I are poly (but claim open on fb due to lack of fb choices to explain non monogamy) and it’s great. It takes a lot of work and commitment just like monogamy and isn’t for everyone. Your husband is going to need to learn to communicate for it to work. We had a great mono relationship (no scandal here) but polyam has been great too! Mono was honestly easier lol but we’re enjoying the challenges and getting to know ourselves and each other/others separately
Don’t make any fast moves just separate and see how you’re feeling then…maybe even be involved with someone and then see if you miss what you have or are really just done…you may get a taste of the wrong guy and feel different about your husband
Sorry but your first mistake was sleeping with someone you didn’t love.
Sometimes, love just takes more time than we are willing to admit. Give him more time. Be willing to expand your love for him. I took my boy and left years ago. The best choice I ever made, was going back.
Girl of you don’t love that man move on with your life so he can and find a women who would want every thing you don’t since u just see him as a friend
Should be fckin your “just a friend” 
If he is all that sometimes it’s better to be loved than to love
I’d as ise marriage counseling but I think you’ve decided No.
You can’t fix that unless you want to.
Frankly, I don’t think you healed from your last relationship and before you can even think about one, you have to work on you.
Maybe a break will work bc I’ve seen couples get back together & be truly happy. But, again, that’s a choice and I don’t think you want to so, just be honest and go.
Tough decision. You’re not a horrible person for feeling how you feel. I don’t mean to get personal, but something must have attracted you to him enough to have sex. What created that spark?
What qualities did/does he have that makes or made y’all be friends?
Imagine y’all not being together as a couple? How does that make you feel? Would you feel jealousy if he moved on? Ask yourself those questions. Maybe seek couples therapy and try to get perspective on your feelings. Then you can say you tried everything and it woukd help with some of the guilt you feel.
Damn girl. If you dont love someone, you just dont love someone though. There’s gotta be a reason, but does there have to be? If you don’t, you don’t. You do have what sounds to be a great man, but let him go so he can find his person and yours too. Baby will be alright. If he’s a great dad, that won’t stop him. He may hurt for awhile but it could be a blessing too.
If there no love there set down and start planning to go y’all ways it would be better on the child to have two family than one family and no love
Sweetheart you just got out of an abusive relationship and seems this man is great. Maybe try to go to a psychiatrist and see if they may help. Maybe it is you pushing him away because you do not want to be hurt anymore and you are trying to mentally prepare…
You guys really need to sit down and lay it all out. He needs to know though. I mean wouldn’t you want to know if he was in love you or just with you because you guys have a kid?? I think you would want to know… your with him because you guys have a kid and you want him to have the perfect family life. But an unhappy mother and a happy father can’t equal a happy and healthy family. Tell him because I just found out today my husband isn’t in love with me either… he didn’t even tell me I saw it in a conversation with his ex. He stayed with me because I got pregnant and he’s with me just for the kids. It honestly shattered me and I broke down because I’m madly in love with him and I don’t want to break our family up. I wish he would just be honest with me instead of pretending and feeding me daily lies about how he truly feels. Yea it’s going to hurt but don’t drag him along.
If you had to attend his funeral tomorrow, would you feel the same? If yes, proceed with divorce.
Yea that’s a tough spot to be in. Just pray about it for awhile and then u will get an answer of what to do.
Try couples therapy. I think he’s not opening up to you because he’s scared to rock the boat because you will leave him. And then If you still want to leave the therapy can make it better for both of you…
End things and move on, let him find someone else that wants to be with him. Work at having a good co parenting relationship.
Honestly, I know it’s not what you want to hear but I totally fell out of love and even in hate with my SO and after couples therapy ad LONG HOURS AND MONTHS OF CONSTANT COMMUNICATION, the bond really fell into place. I couldn’t see my life without him now. Couples therapy can do good for him too, and help y’all either decide together to stay and fight for it, or give him closure that you are really done and did everything you could! Hope this helps.
I feel for you … Personally your post sounds like a chapter in my life !! I just sacrifice for my children knowing they won’t be little forever. Then i will be rid of this unhappy situation . I look forward to when my kids are adults and on their own (empty nest) Hopefully my true soulmate awaits me 
Be honest. Don’t drag it out. Both of you deserve to love and be loved by someone else.
Don’t waste anymore of his time. Be cordial
Maybe he doesn’t communicate with you or just says “OK” because he doesn’t want to upset you. You did tell him you don’t love him like that, so I’m sure that made him distance himself. People stay in unhappy relationships for their children’s happiness, but that’s not what’s best for the child. A happy momma makes a happy baby! You need to sit down with him and tell him how you feel, have a heart to heart. It’s unfair to both of you, and your baby to stay in a relationship that you’re not happy in! Good luck!
My husband told me he loves me but hes not in love with me 8 yrs ago. We live like roommates but not i can do it anymore
Sit him down and lay it out. Don’t beat around the bush. If you leave your going to have to still have a coparent relationship so don’t make it worse between the two of you.
It is really in all fairness best to move on. I did something similar on the rebound was dating a guy and got pregnant. I stuck around for 17 years and then told him I wasn’t happy and I left him. I know now that my kids at the time were devastated as at the time they were only 11 and 16 years old. The whole time he never communicated with me which was the worst thing about us being together. I only knew him for about 1 month when I got pregnant and was in love with him, but as my pregnancy moved along I fell out of love very quickly. I tried for 17 years to love him, but failed. I wish I had of left when my kids were a lot younger. When I ended it things got viscous and very bitter. Well that’s the truth of what I went through and in hindsight after the birth of my first child I should have just moved in with my parents instead of wasting 17 precious years. You’re better off leaving now as you will come to resent him as time passes and it will not turn out well.
Need to have a good sit down with him not fair to any of you. I hope things work out.
Move on, the man is a good person like you described, you are abusing his emotions. Don’t keep his child away from him after your break up and don’t try to come back here yelling about how he just got into a relationship and didn’t tell you. Don’t get upset when he moves on and becomes happy without you. Sometimes, we are the abusive ones. You can try getting couple counselling sessions with a professional if you want to stay back.
Okay so your husband was basically your friend turned rebound that you only married to have a complete household. That’s what I’m getting out of the start to your relationship. That’s not a good foundation to build a relationship on. Especially coming out of an abusive relationship. This situation is not fair to either one of you. You can do one of two things. Try couples counseling if you think you could possibly ever fall truly in love with this man. But he has to be willing to put the work in and you have to find out what he truly feels for you. The second thing, if you really believe you could never fall in love with him, end it while your son is young and can adapt more easily. And I don’t know your financial situation, but tons of couples break up and still love together and are able to coparent. So that’s an option if neither one of you are physically able to move out of your home, until you ARE able. But you have to stick to it. Don’t have sex out of convenience or anything lol. And if you are able to leave your home or he is, try to keep to your child’s schedule as much as you are able between 2 homes. Your husband seems like a good man and a good dad. Let him continue to do that.
Sit down and talk to him. Be honest about it. It’s not fair to either of you.
Trust me, it is so much better to leave while your son is young so he doesn’t understand as much about what happened and will adjust to the new life much easier! He needs to see you happy, you will be in a better place to bond with him and truly be yourself! If you wait until he is older and he knows you wanted out earlier he could resent you from messing up his home, right now he won’t remember much , if any of how life was at 3
So ignore the “predictive judgements” of how people on the thread apparently think you’re going to act lol. I think you are asking yourself the right questions. I also have to appreciate that you were honest with him. It’s always better for a child to not see a couple stay together for the sake of them, they need to see what real love is. I also appreciate that you focus on his (husbands) qualities, it doesn’t sound like there was a spark in the first place. You both can still coparent and find people eventually that make you both happy. Make sure you tell him the things you told us here too, that he’s a great guy, he’s just not your great guy.
This too shall pass-live together as parents only, openly and move on separately cohabitating, leave ASAP and still coparent under different roofs, or stay stuck and miserable. You have only one choice to make. Talk it over with your friend. The 2 of you will do what’s best for the child. good luck…
Firstly, I want to commend you. At least you TRIED to broaden your feelings for him - that takes a lot for a person to do, especially when their previous relationship was abusive. But sweets, some things are just not meant to be and that IS OKAY! You did all you could do for your baby and for him. Just because two people do not work out romantically does not mean they can’t become great coparents/friends. Please do not be too hard on yourself and whatever you do, do not consider yourself a failure because you are not.
I would sit down & talk Maybe do counseling.
Leave him. If hes a good man he deserves someone who loves him for real and will be happy with him. And you deserve to be happy as well. I have had a similar experience where I stayed because he was a good man and he loved me. Dont do it if you don’t love him you will never be happy and in turn neither will he or your child. Trust me, if you dont love him by now and after all the good he is to you more than likely you never will. Let him go.
Unpopular opinion but im going to offer you a different perspective. The chances of you finding another man better than what you have are slim. Im talking about the type of man who is a great father to your son and is good to you.
Regardless of whatever
Man you decide to bring into you and your
Sons life, He can never love your son like his biological father can. The grass is not always greener on the other side.
You may find a man and fall in love but what if he doesn’t meet your expectations of a step father to your son? If that happens, Are you going to choose the “spark and high” of being in love over your own childs welfare? You really cant answer that question Until youre in that situation personally. People will marry and steparents are introduced into their childrens lives that dont treat their children right all too offen. We become blinded by the high of love, its a dangerous thing. Right now, your son has everything he needs, and it sounds like this man treats you good with the exception of some minor faults, but people arent perfect.
The problem with society is that we are quick to break up homes and families because of our own selfish desires.
Does he abuse you? Does he not take care of you and your son?
Did you know that approximately 60% of men who grow up in a single mother household end up either incarcerated or addicted to drugs? If the main problem you have with your sons father is that he responds “ok” … count your blessings. As youre aware from being a victim of a past toxic relationship, you know that things can be alot worse and there are women out there who end up with men who abuse, neglect, manipulate, cheat, lie and verbally/physically abuse them. You should count your blessings that he even acknowledges you because alot of women struggle just to get their man just to listen. A lot of people out there jump from relationship to relationship searching for that high again, the butterflies and excitement of a new person but when that fades away and life begins to get real, people will run & start looking for that high again with a new peroson instead of working through it. True happiness starts within yourself and until you have that -no man will be able to fill that void for you. My advice is to seek thearapy both individually and together. Don’t throw in the towel until you have done absolutely everything possible to avoid having your child grow up in a broken home. Theres no abuse or toxicity around the child.
There are So many mothers that would give anything to have what you have. The problem lies within your own head. If he thinks that this relationship is worth saving, he will put in the work.
Sometimes you have to let people go before you realize that you dont want to live without them but Dont break up a family until you’ve exhausted every solution to make this work between you two.
You got out of a horrible relationship and into this one too soon. You weren’t able to recover and grow and make many decisions before you got pregnant. Since you were planning on moving away, maybe you have some resentment that you are tied to this town and what it does and does not offer, and you are projecting that onto the dad. You may also be suffering trauma from your previous relationship that is preventing you from committing to a new one with the dad or anyone else.
Please figure out what kind of birth control you can manage for now so you don’t have any more surprise children with this man. The more children you have, the more difficult it is to be a single parent. Right now you need to focus on you.
Get some therapy to discuss your past, present and what you want for your future. Maybe he isn’t such a good guy except in comparison to your manipulative ex. A professional can guide you to finding the answers you are looking for.
Separating when kids are young is easier than when they’re older. Children will adapt. But I still would recommend play therapy for your son for a while after you separate and divorce if that is the path you choose.
Take advantage of any mental health/therapy/counseling options you have, just for yourself so you can heal and create a vision for a happy future, whatever that entails.
Also, you sound like a great mom who stepped up to be a great and caring parent. Now you have to focus on yourself, because as they say, “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t NOBODY happy!”
You cant help that you don’t love him on a “dating” level. We’re all human and love should never be forced or “tried.” You wanted it to work but you really never loved him as a partner. You love him as a person and father to your son. If there’s no connection, there’s no bond. Don’t stay in a place that makes YOU unhappy. You only live once. He’s a great guy but not for you. I don’t see anything wrong with that.
First of all, quit sleeping with “friends”. Second you don’t deserve him and he doesn’t deserve what you’re doing to him. Get out of the friendship co-parent your child and let him find someone that loves him. You’re just hurting everyone!
The grass may not be greener on the other side ! It’s your life your decision, love that child no matter what !!
Trust me its best to get out now its not fair to your young son kids can sense when things r wrong… just remember u said he’s an amazing man and father so don’t keep him away from his son have an amazing coparenting relationship show your son even tho mommy and daddy aren’t together they both love u very much and want whats best for him
I’d be honest with him for sure…I’m not sure what I’d do, but be careful. There just aren’t to many good people these days. There are lots that put on a great fake front, but turn after so long. It seems this man is really a good person, if you still see good qualities after all these years. I’d think it through really hard. You wouldn’t want to leave someone who is good to you and he is your sons dad to find someone who’s not his dad and would treat you or your son bad. Just be careful and blessings to you and your family.
You can’t make yourself feel something that you just dont feel. Talk to him.
They’ve done studies and people that had arranged marriages and people that married for love are on average equally happy after 5 years.
Marriage (marriage with children) is more than romantic love. Are you guys a good team? You said he stepped on and started helping. Idk about you but if my husband didn’t clean, cook, or take care of our children, I wouldn’t care much for him either. Maybe try counseling?
Relationships go through many different levels of love/friendship/distance overtime. My friend who has been with her hubby for 30+ years says it has never been a very amorous or sexy marriage but it has been solid, kind, supportive, he is her rock and she provides him with the courage to spend time with people etc. He has been a good father and a good husband. He has also let her down sometimes and she has done the same. There have been times when they only spoke to each other via email. When I asked her how and why she stayed she said " it can’t be rose tinted glasses all the time, we both have each other’s back, we both want to provide the same loving home for our children, we both are heading in the same direction and sometimes we get tired, we get a little lost, we annoy each other. Now they are entering a new stage as their kids are young adults and they are getting to revisit each other in another way. Their friendship will keep them together and there is a genuine love there. It just isn’t the fairytale type.
The best relationships are based on friendship.
You sound as if you are sure…are you ?
If you’re sure then talk to him. If hes not communicating maybe he feels the same way . Maybe there’s a way to save the friendship, stay in each others lives…but move on with your lives
Try for counselling and be open and honest about your feelings but don’t stay long enough to cause resentment and ruin a good friendship…you have a child together and its important you can both work together for the child’s benefit even if you can no longer stay together as a couple