Leave him; he is looking for an out; give it to him
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Don’t be a chump, he’s playing the victim. Hope you got tested for STDs and kick his ass out!
You wont ever be able to just forget about it. I dont see how any relationship recovers from this unless both were cheating i suppose. Its hard enough trying again after being broken up and seeing other people. Cheating is such a betrayal. Couldn’t do it.
Best of luck but doesnt sound like he gives a fuck.
I feel so bad for you. Honestly in my opinion you should leave. It sounds like he doesn’t care about you and you could find better.
I’ve been there. I hurt for years. I chose to stay with my husband and almost three years into our marriage we are finally on the right page. I thought about everyday. I still do. Eventually you dont love them the way you loved them from the start. And I told my husband that. I still love him. I’m still in love with him but it’s a different type of love now.
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Men are cheaters. You just caught him out because you’re smart. Try therapy maybe. But take a long think about leaving as if he’s a good dad you need to weigh these things up as you could get another cheater and you’ve broken up family?? It’s a tough one. I know exactly how you feel. Wish you all the best.
If he is trying to put the blame on you for him cheating, then something is seriously wrong with him. Don’t let him put that on you. You can do better if he’s not willing to take responsibility for HIS actions.
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He’s blaming you to make himself feel better.Why should you leave? You’re not the one who caused this,he did.
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You are lying to yourself if you think he is not gonna do it again , he will , leave , find someone better , have some time to know yourself and understand that you deserve better than that
Girl I was with a man like this for a decade! Deep down when it comes down to it he doesn’t love you, he doesn’t care about you, and he will probably do it again. I also highly doubt it’s the first time he’s done something like this (maybe not with you but just in general). All I could do to help myself was to go to a therapist to have someone help me work out my trust issues and how to really let it go. Best thing I ever did for myself.
You can find someone who treats you right and who isn’t toxic. Might take you a little bit. But thats okay.
It’s only been a few months… it’s gonna take awhile… Counseling… some self reflection… some deep soul searching… some tequila on ice… some anger and throwing things… you’ve got awhile. And he has a while to make up for it too.
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If even he is asking why you don’t leave that’s a sign he doesn’t really love you he may say it but doesn’t mean it
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Don’t believe in the “once a cheater always a cheater” bullshit. This is coming from someone who use to cheat. I’d never cheat on my husband.
Now, if y’all have been trying to conceive and it hasn’t worked out that causes a lot of stress. His actions weren’t right and whenever a man gets caught doing anything it’s always our fault. I say stick in there and see how things get, if it happens again I’d leave.
Leave his ass. You will in the end be happier. Do not keep trying to have another child with him. It won’t resolve anything. He obviously doesn’t care about you, am sorry.
Imagine the advice you would give to your son if as an adult he was in the same situation as yourself. Take that advice.
Leave him cheater is always a cheater it won’t get any better he’ll do it again
Time for change,obviously he don’t see a problem with it .
If he really loved you he wouldn’t cheat
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That’s something I wouldn’t be able to let go. I know myself well enough to know I would constantly think about it. I would constantly think he is again, I would constantly accuse him. It would make my life hell. I would doubt everything including myself.
I would have to leave.
No question.
If he’s asking why dont you leave, I would leave.
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You are hurting right now when you put your broken heart back together you will know what to do with your husband but for now don’t trust anything he tells you nobody can tell you to make him leave only you can it’s going to take time
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I’m sorry for you. Unfortunately once that line is crossed it’s very hard, if not impossible to go back to the way it was. You deserve better, don’t forget that.
He sounds like a narcissist blaming you for his behavior. Nothing you do will ever be right and if he does it again he will blame you even more.
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2 words…
Divorce Him
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You definitely need to get away from him I don’t think that you will ever be able to trust especially after him trying to blame you that just shows that he is not even sorry for what he’s done
Sweetheart do what makes you happy. That’s the only way to look at life.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. If you try and stay it sounds like it will always be in the back of your mind. If you really wanna stay try couples counseling. But him blaming it on you that’s not your fault he is a grown man and can and should take responsibility for his actions. I wouldn’t waste another tear on that guy if I was you. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. I hope you know your worth xx.
Leave him he won’t change!!!
If you are asking yourself if you should leave you already know the answer. You don’t deserve to live a life you have to question. Set yourself free from the stress and enjoy your life 
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Leave his ass, know from experience, it fcks with ur head constantly drains the life right out of u sorry to say. Its worse the thing that they can do in a marriage.
Nobody who cheats loves their partner! That’s the biggest lie! If you love someone you have no need or desire to be with another person!!
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Speaking from experience. My ex proposed to me while we were fighting about him having had a girl in our apartment while I was visiting my parents. Stupid me i said yes, I thought I could forgive him. I never fully forgave him and so was never able to fully trust him. I should have just left. It’s usually not just a one time thing. Also you will make both of you miserable if you can’t get passed it.
Also you could waste more years with someone who doesn’t care that they hurt that badly or you could be free to find someone that knows your worth. Life is short hon.
Leave he thinks he has rights don’t accept the blame he’s a liar and a cheater and he does not care how much he hurts you or your son, be the strong one, show your son how not to treat women show him respect,hones and truthfulness. Xx
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Pack it up sis or have him go. Get into marriage counseling to figure out how or if your marriage can be salvaged
- Get records of all your joint and any of his assets ASAP.
- Lawyer up,
- Spread the word about what a cheater he is so everyone you can think of knows why you are leaving.
- Get tested for STDs and tell him you’re doing so because of his behavior.
- If you feel like having sex with him, make him wear a condom.
- Get counseling/therapy.
- Take him for all he’s worth.
- Live your best life, love your kids, be open to meeting QUALITY men who will treat you like the queen you are.
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I had to leave. I couldn’t move on. He was cheating on me when I was carrying our high risk daughter after 3 losses. Left me while I was pregnant (underage girl then) and then came back. He was always trying to cheat. I tried to forgive and forget but couldn’t. To the point it and me angry and want to puke when he tried to be intimate with me. 11 months passed with no intimacy before I left. And only once in 1.5 yrs before that point. I couldn’t get past it. I hope you can.
Leave. He didn’t just cheat and betray you. He did it to your son too. He’s also now blaming u for his innapropriate behaviour.
The fact that he blames you AT ALL SPEAKS VOLUMES. He doesn’t care about you or your feelings. He sounds like a narcissist. Never accepting the blame. Move along. He doesn’t deserve you.
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It’s hard but leave. If you don’t the resentment will build up and spill over into your parenting.
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If you want to stay for the kids, try counseling. It doesn’t seem like he’s sorry or even cares though. If he isn’t remorseful, he’ll keep going and you will sink.
He cheats on you and then he blames you for everything !! get rid of him - pack his things and put them on the doorstep!! Document everything including everything you find on his phone so you will have it for the lawyers later. Very important to document everything!!!
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Tell him to leave once it happen it will again. He not respecting you
First stop trying for another baby. If he called you, his WIFE by another woman’s name I’m sorry but he must have been/be with her a lot. I don’t think I could just forgive and forget. Once a cheater always a cheater in my experience. His answer to you confronting him to leave is a red flag. Right now he has his cake and eats it too. A mistress and a wife trying to turn a blind eye. Maybe he really wants to be with her and that was why he said that, but doesn’t like the thought of change. Sorry t be blunt. But he sounds like a dick, find someone better.
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You will never forget. If you stay prepare to always have it on your mind. My parents have been married over 30yrs and my mom still brings up my dad cheating. I hate it and remember when I was 13 begging them to divorce. Still wish they would. She is so bitter about it even now
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Is your last name. “Doormat”
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Don’t have another child with a crap head like that.
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This sounds like my story except she was a very close friend, in my wedding, god mother to my middle child and he did it with her for 24 years of our marriage. I loved him but not more than I love myself!! Marriage is hard and goes through stages and we didn’t cheat. He’s no prize!! It’s not your fault it’s his insecurities that lead him to cheat. Do not have another baby with him. He will do it again. Go see an attorney and run do t walk! I left and it wasn’t easy but a lot easier than staying with someone that never loved you, valued you or respected you!! You will never trust him again!! HE WILL CHEAT AGAIN!! Mine did!! Good luck!!
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I had to leave. My ex husband cheated the night of my step son’s birthday party. I stayed for 2 more years and was miserable. I could never let it go. I never trusted him again and I just couldn’t deal with it any longer so i left. It’s one of the hardest things to move past. Some people can and some people can’t. You have to do what you feel is the best for your happiness
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An infidelity is forgiven if the other person shows regret and the intention to change, the fact of being married and with children does not mean that you have to be anyone’s carpet.
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If a man cheats, he has zero respect for you and no love. I’m sorry, if you love someone you wouldn’t cheat 
it’s time to get up and go.
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“Why dont you leave me if you know”… theres your answer! 
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Leave. You’ll NEVER trust him again.
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I would totally run, he isn’t worth your time… I couldn’t easily forgive and forget… once a cheater always a cheater in my eyes.
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I think you already know the answer
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Sometimes we have to take care of ourselves. I know this hurts, been there. Will you be able to trust him again? I asked myself that question and the answer was no.
Leave … you don’t deserve it he doesn’t love you that’s BS when he tells you how much he loves you if he did he wouldn’t have an affair with another person .
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Leave momma. The trust will never be there. And even if one day you feel confident in him the next day he will do something to make you doubt him. You will drive yourself crazy.
It’s a hard Choice you have to make but you deserve to be with someone you can trust and you deserve to be happy the fact that he doesn’t seem to be sorry for his actions says it all know your worth and don’t take anything less that being said it’s hard to let go only you will know when your ready if you feel like you can’t stay do what is best for you because he isn’t thinking about you or your son he is being selfish and that comes with consequences hugs to you my dear
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If your husband is chasing an ugly other woman, it doesn’t called “womanizing” its called “hunting” cheer up hun! u might be in a hard situation right now… take a break… everything will pass
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Try and make it work that’s want marriage is about and if it doesn’t work thin leave but always try before leaving I’m sorry this happen to you and you will never forget it but you may live with it and it’s not your fault if he doesn’t want to try thin don’t you 2 need to talk to a private marriage counseler
You know in your heart you deserve better.
He shows no remorse, he thinks you’ll stay and if you don’t think he’ll do it again you are a fool. You need to put money away if you have a job if you don’t have a job go get one if it means he has to pay for daycare I’m sorry you need to do it you need to put money away to get a place of your own until then I would start packing.
Honey leave! Get your baby and run!!! He is a manipulator he didn’t even apologize, what changes has he made? In order to forgive and potentially forget he needs to change he needs to prove himself and all he has to say is if you know why don’t you leave and plays the blame game with you like oh sorry I slipped and my weiner landed in some else’s vagina how dare he do that to you and at such a special time your baby’s bday. Leave babe don’t have any more children with him find someone that appreciates you sees your effort and that can give you loyalty. Without loyalty and mutual respect I’m sorry to say it’ll just keep happening and every time it does you’ll lose a piece of yourself and keep on causing yourself unnecessary pain.
You gotta move on !
This “man” doesn’t respect you.
You deserve better.
Stop wasting time on someone who is using his time on another woman. easier said then done but you can do it you are strong 
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I dont understand why you would stay with a man who has cheated on you. I would not give him the time of day or forgive him he laid his bed when he touched another female. Do yourself a favour and leave him only way you will be out of pain
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Don’t u leave run his ass off if u have a kid he leaves an pays the bills
You’re excepting this as ok, as long as you do that he will keep doing what he’s doing.
You have a choice.
Stay or leave 
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I could never touch him again knowing he had sex with someone else
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Yeah don’t stay. Yeah you can go to therapy but I truly believe once a cheater always a cheater because every guy I’ve witnessed cheating on their spouse they’ve done it multiple times. So I don’t think staying is going to help. & it’s gonna give you horrible anxiety just thinking about it over and over again.
Leave
He is not worth your time.
Take your son and leave.
You deserve better
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Your husband doesn’t love you; he made you his second option. If he truly loved and respected you, he would have communicated what he was feeling to you and worked thru it like an adult or he would have ended your marriage because cheating hurts more than what a break up does and wouldn’t have ever wanted to inflict so much emotional trauma onto you.
You don’t need him, no woman ever needs a man. Leave him and take your pride and dignity with ya. Know your self worth and find your happiness without him. He literally asked you why you haven’t left him yet… If that’s not your answer that he doesn’t have any guilt and doesn’t love you then you’re blind.
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his already given you your answer re read what you just wrote he doesn’t love you if he didn’t he wouldn’t have said just leave if you already know? and cheated it’s sim9le you will never forget what he has done an it will slowly eat you away
Bye Felicia. That’s it.
Kick him to the curve, go out with one of his friends!
Infedelity is the one reason it’s okay to divorce…so love yourself enough to let go because he doesn’t truly love you if he cheats
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Please god dont bring another baby into that mess of a marriage. I hate to be so blunt but it’s very true.
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You need to leave, he said it. Listen!
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I’m so sad AND mad for you…
I’m sorry you’re hurting, I truly am.
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Don’t walk…RUN. And the fact that he blames you at all is just messed up.
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If you choose to stay he needs to be 100 percent transparent. You two should seek marriage counseling. It will take more than a couple of months to build back the trust and security. He also needs to accept that he caused this bs in your marriage and be patient with you. You will have ups and downs trusting one minute and feeling insecure the next. He has to be willing to comfort you and deal with the downs. Also, eventually you will have to find a way to kick it out of your mind. I’m sorry you are going through this ordeal. Maybe it is a blessing that there isn’t a new baby involved in this. Good luck sweetie.
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First, everything aside, if you’re never going to be able to get over it and move past it, then you need to leave. Not saying you should get over it-just if you dont see your self being able to. It doesnt matter if he got on his knees and begged for forgiveness. Your relationship will not work if it’s something you cant get past.
You are going to mentally drain yourself worrying about what he is doing 24/7. Take a step back. Process the situation. You’ll know what is right.
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Pack up all his crap when he’s at work. Call a locksmith, and let him come home to all his crap locked outside the house.
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Ok… wow. I don’t understand y’all. Were you abused growing up? Do you feel at the core of your being that you are worthless? Are you afraid to be alone? It must be something, because why would you allow a man, or YOURSELF, or your history of abuse, or fear of confrontation, or fear of never being loved again allow you to 1. Feel like you should be over it after a few months?? 2. Lie about how you feel. 3. Not stand up for yourself like you don’t believe you have a right to change your mind about how you feel?? Look, if you get cheated on and you never let it go, that’s a problem and it’s unfair to your partner as mistaken or unkind as they may be. But a few months?! Come on. I’d say by the 1 year point, you can still feel some kind of way, but you can still punish your partner for it. But girl, you still in the punishment - kick him in the balls phase! And you should be! You need to get personal counseling because YOU have an issue within yourself, and you need to be in couples counseling for which if he is unwilling to go, or unwilling to do the work during, he needs to go. End of story. Tell him you thought you were over it and you’re not. Then tell him how it’s gonna be, all in or get out. Nothing in between right now. He made his bed. You have a right to make him sleep in it. Get help. Your children will grow up just like you if you don’t. And no new relationships until you love yourself and your children more than you love your relationships. Period.
Your trust has been broken by the man you trusted to safeguard your heart. Honey, you’re NEVER going to let go of the images that creep into your thoughts and dreams. He has bestowed upon you a memory, a feeling, and a lesson that will be a part of your life forever. Every man you’re with after this will be judged by what your husband did. I think you know what to do. His punishment will be visitation, child support and knowing what a piece of shit he really is.
Fuck that guy. I’m sure it’s hard but you are worth way more than to be treated like that. Find strength in yourself because at the end of the day, YOU are the only one that is ever truly there for YOU!
Him blaming you and him telling u why don’t you leave me makes him glout and deep down inside you can’t let it go. That trust was broken you need to seek trerapy or counseling.
Nope, the trust issues will turn you two toxic towards each other.
Once a cheater, always a cheater! You can forgive but it does not mean you have to stay. Given the same circumstances, he will cheat again. I have been through it, I followed him, I checked up on him, just to make sure. I drove myself into a nervous breakdown.
Trust is a major part of a relationship. I would say maybe try marriage counseling? Infertility is a big cause of divorce, went through this myself. If you want to save it you both need to work for it. And maybe hold off on getting pregnant again just for now
Sleep with his best friend!
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Unfortunately from reading what you’ve wrote … it doesn’t sound good and for as much as you love your husband and want for him to stay and be the family you thought you had … it’s more than likely not going to be … and you will only resent your husband for the pain and upset and the insecurities/mistrust that will now sound your mind … your husband isn’t sorry and to be honest the chances are it will help again… the heart and the head are impossible to part when it comes to love … I hope your life eventually gets sorted out
shout it out at the top of your lungs “I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOES NOT RELY ON A MAN WHO DOES NOT DESERVE MY LOVE” then your mind should be clear enough to make your decision whether you wanna stay and pray or leave and get you on track
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Oh Hon leave or have him leave easier on your son. Legal separation until you figure what you want to do as far as divorce. Change locks on your door. My husband never changed. Go to doctor to check for STD’s. Stop trying to get pregnant . I know the pain. You are a strong person don’t need this!
Has he said he was sorry, but if u want u family to stay together u have to tell him how u feel, your hurt, he needs to give u time to heal, but u also have to be able to forgive him and not talk about his mistake, if thats truly what it was, forgive for yourself or it willl drive u crazy. Im mother and this what i would tell my children, life is to short to hold angry in, being mad doesnt help anyone, much less yourself or u kids or the two of u, dont make any decision why u mad, cause if u do it will be wrong.
Happened to me also. He took no responsibility for it. It was my fault he did it. 20 years of his drinking, belittling, lies, staying gone all the time and raising his two demon kids from his first marriage. It was my fault. We divorced over it. He dated a lot but was miserable. I was seeing someone else that I cared about, but it was new . I woke up one morning to a please take me back text. He promised to be different. So I did. For the most part he did change a lot. But so did I, and he’s not crazy about it. I don’t trust him, it’s always in the back of my mind. I’m not a doormat anymore. I speak my mind, and he knows if he wants to go it’s fine with me. I’m not going to fall apart and beg him to stay ever again. I will be just fine. I love him but it will never feel the same.
If he is willing to go to counseling, you can go that route. However, you said you don’t know why you stay with him-so that’s your answer. He doesn’t sound like he’s still in your marriage. He can still be an awesome dad to y’all’s son, but he isn’t being kind to you and you deserve better.
If he shows zero regret, I’d leave.
I’m sorry but when He said “why don’t you leave me” you should have LEFT!!
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Girl kick him out period once a cheat always a cheat
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THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You are not to blame for HIS actions, nor are you to blame for having a difficult time conceiving. Sorry, but what an asshole. You deserve better. If you don’t know why you stay, then LEAVE! I know it’s easier said than done, but you can do this. And you don’t want your son to grow up thinking that kind of behavior and emotional abuse is okay either. Someone out there is waiting to find you and meet you and love you for every part of you. I know you thought it was this man, but it doesn’t sound like it is. If you truly want to try to forgive him and understand what happened and work past it, I would suggest marriage counseling. But the way he doesn’t seem to care at all that he hurt you like this… that would be all I need to know before walking away and beginning a new, better life. You can do this! Love yourself more!