So I found out my wife has been lying to me for a while. She started hanging out with a coworker of her’s . They go for drives just together. He took her out to dinner at an expensive restaurant. I didn’t let on that I know about it. The restaurant came up in conversation and she said that she’s never been in there. Lately she has been doing her visiting family and friends without me. She doesn’t want to feel like she is tied down. She tells me that she is in her office but I find out she wasn’t even at work. She told me she doesn’t want a romantic relationship with me or anyone else. I’ve found ot that she lies to me quite often. I want to stay with her but I also want to be able to trust her. Do I just keep my mouth shut and let her expose herself or what?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I found out my wife has been lying to me, what do I do?
Somethings up and it doesn’t look good.
Time to pack up her stuff and kick her out.
Leave… she is cheating. Please don’t stay with someone like that. There is much better out there
That’s kinda up to you. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you
Why would you want to stay with someone who lies to you, is most likely cheating on you, and has told you she doesn’t want anything romantic with you? And why would you even keep your mouth shut? A relationship that is full of lies and secrets will never last.
Sorry but you’re the only 1 in the relationship, she’s checked out but wants you to break it off
You leave and you find a someone who wants what you’re offering.
Why would you want to stay with someone who says they don’t want a romantic relationship with you?
Plus all the lies.
She is cheating on you love… I’d move on.
She’s using you. Move on
She is having an affair most likely
She’s cheating on you.
You don’t deserve someone who is going to lie to you, run around behind your back, and do God only knows what with another person.
If she’s lying to you about aalll of that, what else is she hiding?
It’s hard being on the side that’s still in love and wanting to hold onto that, but it’s not worth being lied to and heart broken.
She’s flat out telling you she doesn’t want to be with you, I would separate asap
As much as it hurts just leave. She will probably beg you to stay. Honestly, run. You deserve so much better. She’s taken you for granted and that’s so messed up. You’re married. You have every right to know where she is. God forbid something happens, you know? I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. Praying for you
Move on u deserve better !
I mean… if she doesn’t want a romantic relationship with you or anyone… it’s time for a divorce
You need to just leave
U might want her but she’s moving on! U do the same!
Gather all the evidence and file for divorce. Get a lawyer too.
it sounds like she’s cheating. in which case it’s time to cut it off & move on. find someone worth your time & who wants to be with just you.
You know exactly what she’s doing. And if you allow her to walk all over you, she’ll continue to. We teach ppl how to treat us and what we’ll tolerate. You gotta think about it this way; would you want this type of relationship for your best friend, brother, anyone you care about?, no.
Yes y’all need to talk to tell the true of what you know and ask the question straight out
Kick her to the curb and find someone who cares.
Your wife is being a hoe… I hate to put it like that. She is done with you but knows she needs you for whatever reason… Leave her!
Don’t let her treat you like a fool 
trust is easy to break but hard to mend:sparkles: if I was you,I’d step back and let her be:sparkles:
That is a lot of lies. Holy crow. I boil catching someone in 1 lie, then I never trust them again.
You my dear have a lot of patience and deserve someone much much better.
Love yourself first, get to the bottom of what’s going on. If she no longer wants to be with you, you must move on. Never be a slave to someone. We all deserve happiness and we can’t force others to stay with us.
Sounds like she wants attention
Gather info, file for divorce. Probably do that before even talking to her. Then document her behavior from then on too.
If this behaviour is since the coworker I’d say they were having an affair. It’s all classic signs
Have some self respect… move on before she causes you more emotional damage!!!
Move on and leave 
don’t be one of those men that hangs around. She’s told you how she feels. Move along
Leave. She told you she does not want a romantic relationship with you ir anyone else she made that super clearly according to you.
So leave she doesn’t want to be with you.
Get some balls and get rid of the liar.
My husband was doing that stuff too but I found a picture of a girl in a towel who was paralent just a coworker I would say talk to her and maybe just leave
I would be honest with her and confront her. I would also get yourself counselling.
Remember we can’t change people and we deserve happiness , and sometimes our image of what happiness changes as hard as that is to face
Sorry sounds like you’re still in training for your sole mate when you find her prayers sent 
It’s over,just leave…
Doesn’t want to be “tied down” and “doesn’t want a romantic relationship”? To her HUSBAND? Yeah, divorce her. You deserve better. Good luck to you and sorry you’re going through this.
You need to talk to her about
I’m sorry but those aren’t just little lies. Those are big red flags. There’s probably more going on… I think you’d be best with moving on.
She told you she doesn’t want a romantic relationship with you. There’s your answer
You need to leave. If she doesnt want a romantic relationship with you then she will go out acting single. She has obviously proved over and over you cant trust her. I cant see anything changing here at all. All that will come from you staying is you will be prolonging the hurt shes causing you. Leaving will hurt too but least you can then move on and she wont be able to hurt you more
Yea I’d agree with the other cheater cheater. She will prolly deny it if u confront her about it but if u have the hard core evidence of her with him out somewhere or something. She is shooting u a ton of bs
If she told you she doesn’t want a romantic relationship with you it sounds like she’s over the marriage and you should start moving on. All of her actions point to not wanting to make it work
Dude, she has already moved on 
You are concerned for your marriage she’s not. Confront her actions now. What are you waiting for? Don’t break your own heart hoping someone will all of a sudden change their ways. I would suggest you suggest marriage counseling and if she doesn’t want to do that or try to work with you then you may need to think about a separation.
No u call her on it!!! Communicate!!!
That man ain’t her friend, that’s her boyfriend.
Leave her. If they do this once and u stayed with her. She will continue to do this. Who wants to be with a liar? Sometimes you lose trust in a person and u never r able to trust them again
You leave with some dignity.
do yourself a favor and let her go.
Your only hurting yourself by turning a blind eye to the truth thats right in front of you. Trust is a big factor in relationships. If the other is lying theres no trust and it takes alot of time investment to gain it back. If she cant be faithful and finds time to seek out other men…its time to walk away.
Your “wife” doesn’t want a romantic relationship with you or “anyone else”?!
We treat ppl how to treat us by what we accept. Don’t be her doormat.
Please leave. You deserve so much better. Choose your own happiness.
You are only hurting you if you stay. Be bold and walk away. Someone will treat you much better than this🙌
She’s wanting attention. & I’d move on period because it’s going to mentally & emotionally screw you up. She wants to act single she mind as well be single. My ex husband did this exact stuff only to find out he cheated way more than I thought. Your better off without her.
She literally said she doesn’t want anything with you, it’s time to move on!
Leave, she’s stated she doesn’t want you and without being a bitch she’s dropped the hints
She’s cheating on you sorry to say don’t do that to yourself you deserve someone who does love you
That’s incredibly sad. I’m so sorry you are through that. Have a talk with her and tell her how hurt you are by all of it. If she doesn’t change then you need to leave her. You do not deserve to be treated like that. You are her husband and should be treated with love and respect. I’m sorry but I have no respect for anyone who treats their spouse like that.
Tell her you know and walk away
I could live with seeing family without me. But i do not get along with my mother in law.
The biggie for me os the lying about being at work. At some point that effects the martial finances.
I would do one of teo things. 1, file for divorce 2, tell her you know about the lying and you are ready to leave the marriage
I wouldn’t put myself through all that to be completely honest. If she has said she doesn’t want a relationship with you there’s your answer. You CAN NOT force someone to care for you or be there for you. It sucks, but I think you should let her go. She’s already stepping out of the marriage and quite frankly I would bet she wouldn’t go to couples counseling either. She’s just not there any more.
What part of your “wife doesn’t want a romantic relationship” do you not understand?
Save yourself the trouble go your seperate ways and find happiness with someone who wants tobe with you and do things with you.
She’s been lieing and probably been cheating, if she isn’t cheating shes trying to reposition herself so shes avaliable when the person she’s got her eye on is ready.
Let her go.
You deserve better. Call her out on her Bs. One sided love is not worth fighting for. Chin up and walk away
Expose and leave. Sounds like she’s having an affair. Time to move on dude. Sorry your going through this.
You deserve better…time to leave her and find someone who is 100% in love with you and treats you the way you deserve smh shame on her, if she was unhappy she should leave before cheating 
You deserve better, let her have what she wants.
Seems like she already checked out of the relationship you guys are more of like roommates I would get evidence and proof of everything cuz you’re going to need it for court and I mean I guess talk to her about marriage counseling but I would say more than likely you’re looking at a divorce sorry man
You better stand up and get the truth out of her. It will be worse if you ignore it. Divorce her unless it doesn’t bother you.
You have to talk to her
Expose herself…She already has if you know, and YOU DO KNOW…SO CUT HER LOOSE.
But, you can’t trust her…bc she’s a liar, and sounds like a cheater. That’s not a you not wanting it (to trust her) enough situation that’s a she’s an untrustworthy person deal.
It would be interesting to catch her… I know I’m petty but, then what would she say?
#1 you DO NOT trust her and with good reason. Leave. Trust and loyality are everything in a relationship.
Call her out that’s massive red flags, spontaneously ask to see her phone, if she’s got nothing to hide she will let you look. Good luck
She’s cheating. Time to boot her ass
I myself would just kept letting her play her game & let her hang her self…
Document as much as possible so when I did divorce her she wouldnt get half of any thing …
What is your gut instinct?
She’s telling you what it is. You’re better off alone
She’s obviously takin the piss out of you .
Grow a set of balls and kick her ass out
Get out won’t change
Ummm. Her behaviour is yelling to you to let her go. Get out while you can with everything in tact so that she doesn’t take you to the cleaners. Contact an attorney ASAP.
Do you have children if so I’d get it out in the open and try to settle it , if not I’d confront her , move on
Just ask her. Depending on her reaction…you have to decide what you want to do
I couldn’t do it . I would leave
You must TRUST all of us or LOVE us more. You know what to do and you know the answers. You want sympathy. You better man up, get PROOF and take her to the cleaners. That expensive restaurant might cost her a lot more if you play your cards right. Keep quiet, get a lawyer, get a PI. Be done, you’ll never overcome, you’ll never TRUST HER
As we get older we sometimes grow apart. I don’t know the whole story. However, as a female I can say if she’s made the comment(s) she doesn’t want to be tied down, doesn’t want a romantic relationship she’s mentally not there in y’all’s marriage anymore. She & her coworker may just be friends & go out to dinner with nothing else going on between them. Then again she may have also cheated. Unless you have proof don’t be confrontational towards her about it. Just talk to her.
Also, if y’all have space at your house move your stuff into a different bedroom. Give her some space. Have your things in one room & away from hers.
I also recommend the book 
Love Dare from the movie Fireproof.
If you want your marriage to work. To set an appointment for marriage counseling for both of you together & separately.
I will keep you in my prayers.
No, you leave
She will figure her stuff out
You need to ask why you are willing to sacrifice so much for someone who hurt you (hopefully) unprovoked
She’s already exposed herself, and she told you what she wants. Cut her loose and cry it out. The right one won’t do all this to you. Your wife isn’t ready to be a wife, she’s not even emotionally available.
She doesn’t want a romantic relationship with you, she is (at a minimum) having an emotional affair with her co-worker, and she is lying to you. I would say that’s really all you need to know. She has checked out. If you are ok being in a relationship with someone who has checked out that’s one thing but if you want more (which I’m guessing you do based on the question) you aren’t going to get it. Based on the question I’d say you already know the answer and are just looking for someone to validate whatever choices you’ve made or you want someone to choose for you.
She doesn’t want a romantic relationship with you? Her husband? Then honey move on, go find a woman that won’t keep her hands off of you.
Why would you want to stay with someone you don’t trust? If you know for SURE that she is/has lied to you about whereabouts and other things, then trust has been broken. #2… why would you want to stay with a wife who doesn’t want a romantic relationship with you? Doesn’t want to be tied down? Then set her and yourself free and go live your best life somewhere else!!!
She told you she doesn’t want a romantic relationship with you so it doesn’t matter that you want to stay together. Your relationship is already over and she’s moving on. You need to move on too.
The only thing you should truly be focusing on is your self worth and self respect. Your wife has told you, and shown you how she feels. You’ve found out about her infidelity. It’s time to leave. You have more than enough reasons to. Choose yourself. Respect and honor yourself enough to know you deserve better than this. Your relationship is over.
Dude, she said she didnt want a romantic relationship with you or anyone? That’s your queue to move on.