This is a tough one, honestly I don’t know what i would do if I was in your predicament. I’m scared for you and your child. Any one who can be that deceitful can also be very dangerous, you don’t know what lengths he will go to keep his deceit hidden. Pls be careful.make sure you have someone who you trust and give them all the necessary information.sorry if I sound too dramatic
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Have him sign…
To give up parental rights…
He doesn’t deserve you or the baby 
Love Up You and Your Baby
Hugs
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Did he not remember he was married? I’m sorry he put you in this situation. Please file for custody and child support. He needs to take care of his kids. The kids need their siblings, and his wife needs to know her husband is a pos.
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Did you find out he was married before or after you got pregnant???
Tell his wife. File for child support.
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Take him back for support don’t drop it. If you don’t need the support than put it into a savings account for her when she’s older. Kids are cheaper and easy in the infant stage when they get older they get more expensive.
And I would tell his wife, you don’t secretly be in a child’s life you are or you aren’t. You think it’s fair to her and her child if she has any for him to be living this secret life? And I hate to bring it up but I’m sure If it’s not you anymore there are others.
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Put yourself in his wife’s shoes. Would you want to know if your husband cheated and has a child with someone else? I believe he lost the right to keep this a secret the moment he stepped out on his marriage. Don’t do this creep any favors and do the right thing for the sake of the other woman and your daughter.
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Let’s just get one thing straightened up here real quick…
If a man is afraid of you telling the truth because it’ll ruin his life or reputation that is the very definition of toxic masculinity! You’re not ruining his reputation you’re making it accurate.
Your daughter is not a secret.
I would contact his wife tell her everything and that you will be filing for CS. I’d like to give her the upper hand when it comes to confronting the POS. She at least deserves to know the truth wholly without giving him time to come up with lies or hide assets from her.
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Girl get that money for you and your kid fuck him and his life it’s about you and taking care of what’s yours
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Girl if you dont get your child support from the man for that baby!!! Fuck what he thinks!!!
Get the cs. If he won’t be a father he can be held responsible to provide for her. Open that case!
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I would wright his wife a letter and tell her
Run from this man
Gold child support
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I would tell his wife so she’s prepared for the fact he will be paying child support soon. She should know regardless. I can pretty much guarantee you aren’t the first and won’t be the last. Do what you have to for your baby.
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Do what is right and get the support even if you don’t need it.Bank it for this child. That scum bag knew what he was doing even though he was married. Stop worrying about him. HE’S A SHIT!!!
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All of the above…and next time don’t get involved with a married man. Your both to blame for this mess. I feel sorry for your daughter.
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He destroyed his own by betraying you & his wife. Your obligation is to your child. So if filing for child support is what you need, than so be it
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Sounds like you’ve thinking more of protecting the father and you than your daughter
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This is exactly what happened with my sons father, I filed for child support regardless and as he doesn’t want nothing to do with my son because “I ruined his life” I blocked him, he denied parentage and in the end didn’t do a DNA test so now he pays maintenance
File for child support DO NOT let him bully you out of it. It’s not your problem about his wife but his wife deserves to know. Living a lie hurts more in the end then hearing the truth trust me I’ve been there and A LOT of ppl lied to me and some relationships are unrepaired bc of it.
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My dad got a woman pregnant, (he was divorced) but she didn’t tell him until the the little girl was three, and then she filed back child support. He couldn’t pay it so she had him sign his parental rights over. I was heart broken, I was about 15, because I had two brothers and always wanted a sister. I’m 46 now and still have no contact with her, her mother filled her head with lies, but I think about her often. The ripples go on forever regardless. If they have other kids, I think I would try to reach out to the wife. What man deemed evil, God can turn into good.
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I don’t see this man being a positive/wonderful influence for your daughter. I see missed birthdays, tears and anguish. Love your child and keep that eye opened for a wonderful man who will love to fill those fatherly shoes. He’s out there and you and your beautiful child are worth it 
stay strong mama. Leave that trash where it belongs, the rear view mirror.
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I would write his wife a letter AND open another CS case. F$&k his feeling and if it’ll ruin “his life” he did that to himself. Now support the child WE created. Also I’d make him sign the acknowledgment of paternity while at CS
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Um he ruined his life when he decided to cheat on his wife and get another woman pregnant. Your child deserves to know her dad…and he should support his child.
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This happened to me with my daughter. He had a whole family I knew nothing about but I’m not mad anymore bc he died in 2018 🤷
Stop thinking about him and worrying about his life and his feeling and getting him upset. Hate to be blunt but the timid part needs to go away you are a mom take a deep breath raise your head and be her voice you have to protected and make sure she is raised respectful and in a good environment you never know you what can happen financially in a few months years. At least you’ll have that child support money. You go ahead and filed child support if she contacts you well tell her if she doesn’t don’t and don’t worry about what she’s gonna think about you because regardless it’s not gonna be good because you never told her. Screw him about getting mad love your daughter and worry about her first than him getting mad. It’s his fault for cheating not yours.
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I may get hate for saying this but if my husband had a baby with someone else id want to know because i bet your not the first person he has cheated with one of these days he could end up giving her an std
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So you didn’t know anything about this man’s personal life and had unprotected sex with him… Hmm.
The past is the past but it still sounds like you are protecting him rather than your child’s future… Hmm.
Just remember that if the wife finds out you never know how she may react? She may even stay with her husband and both will have partial custody. Image the hate she would have for you. That wife could be raising your child 1/2 of the time… Hmm.
Think things through this time around because you obviously didn’t the 1st time.
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His wife deserves to know… your priority is only to your child and taking care of her not to make things easier for him.
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Fuck that as a dad myself who has made mistakes( cheating whatever) u can’t deal with ur problems without them coming to light. Also babes aren’t mistakes they are opportunity s. He needs to pay for her no matter what. Fuck him put himon cs and if he don’t want to see her his loss
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What close cs case girl do what u have to do to support you and urs. Destroying his life he shouldn’t got involved if married its his fault. Cut his ass off. She deserves to know if if was me I would want to know.
personally, id like to know if my husband had sex with someone else. i dont like lies and would rather get hurt, then work through it. but that feeling goes a hundred times over if he got the woman pregnant. i would need him to get a DNA to make sure, but if that is his child he would need to be a part of their life. same with my son, because thats his sibling, and so forth.
He destroyed his own life when he decided to cheat and get u pregnant!! U go get that child support back open. Its not about him its about the baby. His wife needs to know theres no telling how many other babies are involved
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Honey, do what is right for your daughter. He knew he was doing wrong when he played with you don’t protect his life anymore. Get what your child deserves go for CS what happens happens it isn’t your fault he needs to grow a pair and tell his damn wife what happened, you don’t need to be worrying about that. Do what is best for you and your little girl.
Way to generous with him. Do what’s best for you and your daughter. It’s not fair or right for her to be a secret because her father is a cheating coward. Go and make the life you dream of without the connection to a man who obviously isn’t worth it. Find a connection with someone for you if you desire but you are enough for your daughter don’t forget that. Absentee fathers and ones that lie aren’t needed. Trust someone who had one. They’re not necessary to have and cause more stress and heartbreak
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Hold up you didn’t know he was married?
! Now a days everyone look up someone info before hanging out with them ! This guy is no good hunni if she cheats on his wife he will do u the same and life goes on…file back CS and get over it and you don’t owe this man any explanation he needs to keep it moving and let his wife know his mess and you have nothing to say to her at this moment! Protect yourself and your baby and change your number so he don’t communicate with you! Very simple 
! If he think he can do everything in the darkness with no light then why bother flatter him ? Wish u all the best and next time Google someone before going with them 
!
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He destroyed his own life cheating on his wife. It’s disgusting he’s going in raw on females and his wife is clueless. I’m sure you’re not the first or last. His wife deserves better then that POS. She needs to know so she can get tested and divorced.
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Fuck him and his wife… file cs and let courts handle it… mean time you and baby live your best lives
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Child support to take care of the baby you need it. Stop protecting him. Your baby comes first no matter what.
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Fuck him get child support
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Fuck that. HE cheated. He destroyed his own life and since it take two to make a baby he needs to step up and claim his responsibility but since that’s not the case here take him for child support. Who cares if his wife finds out that’s not your problem!
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If I were the wife in that situation I would want to know! Put yourself in her shoes! She might not believe you and make you do a DNA test, but that poor woman deserves to know what a pig her husband is! Could you imagine it coming out years from now? How traumatizing that would be! Personally, if that was me, I would want my kids to be a part of that baby’s life because afterall they are siblings. If you truly did find out after you were pregnant, you and that mom might actually get along and end up close because of the shitty situation you were in. At the end of the day, you’re a mom now and you need to do what’s best for that child even if you’re scare or don’t want to. So many kids are messed up because of shitty situations or parenting these days. Rise above it and teach your kids that fuck men! You two women can come out stronger than you were before and teach those babies resilience and how strong a woman truly is 
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He ruined his own life but not being honest with you or his family. You and your child don’t deserve it. I personally would just stop all communication and move on but you have to do what’s right for you. If that’s support and time than ask for it. However keep in mind he can easily turn the tables on you and fight for custody once paternity is established.
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In my opinion you’re both adults! His wife deserves to know and your daughter deserves a father! Women up sweet heart and talk to his wife along with filing CS.
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Don’t get your daughter involved with a man like that.
Oh no. He doesn’t matter anymore. Not to sound too harsh, take this the right way, but you don’t matter either. It’s all. About. Baby! Personally, I’d file child support and have him served at home during dinner. Who cares about the fallout in his life? He created the problem so now he needs to deal with it. What happens in the dark will always come to light.
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I would NOT tell the wife, thats HIS job. File the CS. Dont let him back out. He made your daughter and he can support her. He can deal with his wife when she finds the papers in the mail, and thats between them. If you truly didnt know he was married, just stay in your lane… he can get his visitation with the CS case, up to him to show up for said visitation:
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You deserve child support to help cover the cost of the baby’s nerfs,like from diapers to drs bills! Either he’s in or out of the baby’s life,can’t just be there when he free is like it,it’s NOT healthy for the baby!
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In my opinion, if he wants to be in his child’s life, he needs to man up. Tell his wife ( she might even understand your side) but this isn’t an issue you created. You need to do what you think is best for your daughter and yourself.
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I would have told the wife myself when I found out I was pregnant. You should have told her if he wasn’t going to. If he is going to be a worthless human and cheat on his wife and not take care of his own child he deserves his “life to be ruined” as he put it.
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Youre destroying his life? What a piece of work. He did that himself when he slept with you knowing he had a wife at home. File that child support. No child deserves to be a secret and if he truly wanted to be in his daughters life he would tell his wife he screwed up had a child and he wants to have visitation. They will either work past his infidelity and she will support him or he will loose her. Thats not your fault no matter what he says to you its not. If you knew it would be a different story but you didnt know. Id file for child support and Id also go ahead and get a court order for how visitation will work. If you want full custody id go ahead and talk to a lawyer and get the ball rolling with all of it at one time. Leave him no room to try and get visitation his way. You file first with your terms and let it play out. Hell either be around or not. My guess is not.
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Secrets don’t last forever and you’re daughter pay the price if you go that route. It is what it is. The situation you’re in isn’t easy, don’t make it harder. Do what is right for you and for her. He made his choice. Don’t make her pay for it. Also you don’t have to be a single mom. There are some great men out there that will truly give you and your daughter the love you both deserve. My son is one of those men and now she is married to a great guy and has 2 daughters of her own
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Yeah you need to sack the hell up or you are going to flop being a parent.
'I’m a very timid person" is why you hire a lawyer to be the person you clearly cant be.
I’m just as annoyed with you as I am with the derpy gross husband who’s going in raw when cheating on HIS WIFE.
Stop it.
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OPEN THE CHILD SUPPORT CASE BACK UP! If nothing else that BABY DESERVES IT!
I understand you want him in her life but unfortunately it’s not in your hands ! But he can’t just pick and choose what to send and when ! Let the courts decide!
YOU AND THAT BABY DID NOT RUIN HIS LIFE ! When he stepped out on his wife he did that his damn self!
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Cut ties but also file for cs. Hes never going to be a responsible father. He proved that by cheating. The only good thing he can offer your kid is money.
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Sounds like ur letting him off the hook. He gets to walk away and live his life with his “real family” while ur struggling being a single parent. And what if this happens again. What if ur not the only woman he’s done this too??
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I would not lie to my daughter. Sounds like he wants his cake and eat it to. He lied to you, and cheated on his wife. He wants to be in your daughter’s life on his terms no formal child support visit when it is convenient. What happens when you move on to a new relationship? I would make no attempt to foster a relationship make him do the work.
Should worry about your daughter an not his marriage he knew he was married when he has sex with you. If he can’t come clean to his wife that’s his problem not yours and when your daughter comes to the age an get curious about her dad just tell the truth
I dont think you should speak to the wife at all that is his job and if she wishes to speak to you then she will reach out. All you need to be doing is provide for that baby. File and get CS have his wages garnished. The wife will find out and then all the lies will come out then. She will have to make the choice to stay with him and accept your child into there lives so he can be an active father or she will walk away. You can only control your actions. So file for CS and if his wife reaches out to you be sympathetic to her because she was betrayed and she will be going through her own life of rollercoaster.
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You have to put your children first!no exceptions!
Had that same thing happen to me He never saw our spoke to my beautiful boy we moved to Texas and low and behold we met the wonderful man that would be his forever father 
Take any money he offers.
Shut him out and walk away. He isn’t on the birth certificate. If he cares about his kid he will go to court and try to get some kind of custody,which means he will also be honest to his wife and tell her what happened. If he doesn’t, then its good riddance.
Your daughter does not need a dad who will keep her as a secret. Even if he does change that later on down the line, she will remember what he did and he will always treat her differently.
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He has a secret child & his wife deserves better — take that child support he can deal with his own problems he caused in his marriage himself
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File for custody and child support. Damn him to hell. You need to protect yourself and your child.
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You always need to do what’s best for YOU and YOUR DAUGHTER don’t worry about what’s best for him. It takes two people to make a child. He knew what he was doing when he was doing it! So don’t worry about if you’re ruining his life or not it’s not fair to you or your daughter.
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Open the child support case back up. He ruined his own life. If I was his wife, I would want to know.
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Speaking from experience here…file for child support and just keep going mama. He is looking out for himself. You need to look out for you and your baby. Focus on being the best mom you can and it will all fall into place.
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I’d just walk away… Can’t make him want to be a dad… Just let go and let be for now.
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It’s not your money, it’s your daughter’s first of all. You are doing her, and yourself, a disservice. Look at it this way… would you want your daughter to be with a man like this… have her treated this way? It becomes very easy when you look at it that way. Or it should. Ask him to terminate parental rights and move on rather than living in limbo. It’s not fair to either of you.
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Girl screw that! Your baby girl deserves that child support money whether you need it or not. Put it aside for her future. He fucked up and needs to own up to his mistake! Who cares if his wife knows! Don’t spare him for his gross decisions and lies!!!
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File for full custody & child support & let the rest unfold for him at home…orr pretend home; whichever it is today for him.
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TELL THE WIFE!!!
Then file for child support. He will either choose to be in her life or keep being a pos. Either way you’ll at least have some help financially. Kids are expensive.
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Fuck him! He doesn’t deserve to have a relationship with her! File that Child Support!!
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File for cs … do the crime do the time
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He either needs to come clean with his wife and be fully in his daughter’s life or you need to strip him of his rights. At least that’s what I would do. He is the one who fu**ed around, he doesn’t deserve anything nice from you. Honestly in this situation, I would throw him under the bus and contact his wife. He needs a serious dose of reality.
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Chicky you have done enough for that scum !!
One or the other.
Either CS or no contact. He cant have it both ways.
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Tell the wife then file for child support. It’s not about you or him. It’s about the child.
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You need to put your daughter and you first. Go for the money for your daughter’s support. Then he has to admit to his wife what he did.
He made the decision, he ruined his life, I would get cs if I was you
You better file for child support girl, it was his decision to sleep with you knowing the full consequences.
I went through this. I found out he was with his wife the same week I found out I was pregnant. The only difference was he told me to get rid it. I obviously did not. My daughter is 15 months old and the only contact we have had is when I contacted him when she was 5 months. I wanted to go through the process to sign off rights. I don’t want anything from him I just want my daughter. He pretended to care for a week to try to get back in my pants (didn’t happen). Then I found out he was still with his wife again. Haven’t talked to him since. Sometimes it is easier to walk away. If he really wants to be in their life he can take the appropriate steps for visitation or man up and tell his wife. Do not enable a cheater.
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He cheated on his wife.
I’d be filing for child support and having a conversation with his wife.
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My son’s father has kept him secret from his own family and he will be 2 yrs old in March. I get no financial help. Has not seen him since he was 6 days old. I figure when my son is old enough to realize something seems weird he can ask his father. That man can sit in the hotseat and answer for himself
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Girl you got do what’s right for you unless you’re that stupid and gullible. Prove me wrong.
If you were on the other side of the grass wouldn’t you want to know if your husband has a “ secret “ child on the side ??? women like you piss me off. You’re literally saying it’s okay for him to have this secret life, you’re enabling his actions by agreeing to it yet at the same time complaining about him ? It’s females like you as to reason why it’s so much easier for men to cheat and lie to us !!
Idgaf kick me out of this group ! Females like this get be fucking mad !
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Be fully done with him. You’re daughter deserves more than that
I would not bother with child support unless you actually need it. Your child needs a loving peaceful environment, and that’s what’s most important to have.
My dad was not present in my life, but I am glad that he wasn’t. There would be a lot more stress in my life had he stayed with my mom, they were just incompatible and fought a lot. Sure, he could have been involved in my life from a distance, and I don’t know what I missed out on, but living in a stressful home is quite unpleasant and psychologically damaging. If that’s what having child support means, then it’s not worth it.
And I would not tell the wife. I would not want to invite that drama into my life. That’s not my problem to solve. I’d do what’s in the best interest of my child, and imo raising her in a loving environment would be a top priority.
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The wife deserves to know. Put yourself in her shoes… I’m sure you’d want someone to tell you if your husband was keeping a big secret from you.
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Just be mum and dad you don’t need him or his money
Honestly he sound like a scum bag. I would definently file for child support. I would then cut him out completely.He’s married,so he is a liar and a cheat. And honestly could you imagine how it would make her feel when shes older. Daddy doesnt love me enough to to tell people instead shes secret to be hiden and ashamed of never to meet any grandparents or other family. She better without him dont put her thru the the emotional bullshit.
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Cut all ties now !!! When his life falls apart with his wife he will come after you and ur child !
This is the story of my own birth. Dad cheated on his wife with my mom, had me, came to see me once a year. My mom never told his wife, but she told me the truth when I was a tiny bit older. When I grew up a bit, I eventually asked him myself. He was dodgy and sketchy-and made me realize I never needed him.
My mom found an amazing guy and he’s my dad. So, from personal experience as that child, I’d say it was worth everything to be able to call out that deadbeat myself. Hope that helped a little.
As a mother, your daughter comes first! He strayed, he needs to man up if he desires a relationship with his daughter!
He doesn’t have rights unless he goes public. Then he will have to prove it!
Get on with your life! There really are great men out there! Just dont go looking and the good ones will find you and prove their worthy!
I would straight up tell his wife 
she needs to know what kinda trash ass man she’s with so she can make a decision
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File for child support…you did not ruin his life…the issues from his infidelity are his. Your child deserves more than being some scum bags dirty secret.
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Wife deserves to know. Tell her. File for child support. & cut other contact with the loser. Why tf do you want a man that treats his wife like that to be there for your daughter
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In my opinion either bring it to court or walk away from it completely.
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Do what is best for your child and when she is old enough tell her
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No you’re not wrong. Idk why you’re so nice to him by not making him pay child support. He’s literally not doing anything else he’s supposed to do. The very Least he can do is help financially… kids aren’t cheap.
Also, I his wife deserves to know! Wouldn’t you want to know if your husband had a child with another woman?
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