I got pregnant by someone who lied about being single: Advice?

She will figure it out when she sees his money going for child support lol. Id call the courthouse and tell them he would like a copy of the dna test mailed to his house

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Iv been here before. And I would just take my baby n go if I were u…

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You tell the girlfriend directly. She has to know that she’s with someone who is not just a liar but a cheater too. Your life will be more peaceful without them so let it be clear to them that you are not after anything… you just want her to know how irresponsible that man is. Every mama is brave enough for their child’s sake and so are you!:family_woman_girl:

File for child support. Hell get something in the mail, and hopefully she gets to it first.

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Tell her if you want. But don’t expect him to be a part of you or your daughter’s life because of it. My son’s dad doesn’t want to be part of my son’s life. Get child support from him and then raise your daughter on your own. If he cheated on his GF, then he would cheat on you too. You can do this!!! You are ENOUGH!!!

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Your assuming an awful lot will happen if you tell her when in all likelihood it will actually end up being the opposite of what you think. He may cut all contact altogether. She may ask him to do so. She may want her daughter to have nothing to do with yours.

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Get him to pay child support, he will get served court papers and his gf will probably find out that way

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Out him :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging:

Sophia Poulos omg im dead

Even though you didn’t know you have no right interfering in that womans life leave her alone and mind your own business which is your child

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He obviously doesn’t want you or the child. I’m sorry but this is blowing my mind. You only want to tell her because you want him to yourself, not because it’s the right thing to do for HER? I ain’t never in my life. I could never.

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Let’s face it he can’t hide this forever, your child may grow up and want a relationship with her dad, id tell the his girlfriend now! Better now than a 18-year-old turning up at his house in the future! :sweat_smile:

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What id do is focus on yourself and your daughter apply for child maintenance weather he likes it or not he helped make the child he should support the child. I would also look into sorting a child arrangement order see and see if he wants to be in the childs life i suspect when he gets bored he will fuck off which hes already done multiple times. Your child wont want a dad who keeps dissappearing in her life it will metally screw her up

I would sing like a canary.

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He doesn’t want you or the baby so just move on. His girlfriend knowing is not going to make him want to be a parent. It’s not your job to tell the girlfriend. You think they’ll break up and you can get this loser back? Also, you have to be more careful about who you have a baby with and pushing men to parent that don’t want to be bothered. You may think that if he comes around that you’ll be able to supervise all the visits. However, if he goes to court eventually he’s going to get unsupervised visits so this loser will be taking your baby that even can’t talk yet off by himself. He might also be taking the baby around the girlfriend or whoever else he dates. Sometimes you need to be glad that the father doesn’t want to be bothered.

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I was in a similar situation, even when the GF found out dad still had nothing to do with my son. Its been 11 years and my son now knows he has two dads, the man that bought him up and the man that helped make him, he does know he has two half siblings.

Honestly, yes the GF deserves to know the truth, but it won’t change his intentions with your daughter. If he was a good person he wouldn’t have been cheating in the first place.

You can do this without him, it might feel now like you and your daughter are entitled to be known about and acknowledged and your not wrong but it won’t make the disappointment and frustration you feel go away. Concentrate on being a mum to that baby girl of yours and being the only person she needs :heart: she’ll adore you for it x

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Not sure what Id do.
Its clear he doesn’t want you or the gf or the baby. Who knows how many other women hes cheating with or has.

Girl just link her profile and let us tell her.
Fr though he sounds like a peice of work and I live by the policy of if u know someone is cheating don’t keep quiet bc I’d want someone to tell me

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If I was his wife I would 100% want to know!! Regardless of what you want out of that. Tell him to tell the wife, or you will.

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If it were done to me then I’d want to know. 5 years is a lot of time to invest in someone. People are saying its not the best thing for the girlfriend and to go away but if it were my boyfriend of 5 years I’d for damn sure wanna know. :woman_shrugging:

Girl code the other woman deserves to know her partner is a cheating scumbag, and no child should be a “secret” what about his family they might want to be involved in their grandchild ect, I would ask a friend to message her so that way it hasn’t come from you

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I’m sure if you were the gf you’d want to know so I’d tell her. She may not believe you didn’t know about her the whole time but by telling her now you do know at least you know you’ve done the right thing. And your baby should never be kept a secret ever. Hope it all works out for your daughter :pray:

Get full custody first set urself up get a avo against him then tell her everything. It’s his loss and dosnt deserve to.be part of urs or ur daughters life. Secrets always find a way of coming out anyway. But protect u and ur daughter first

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I Personally wouldn’t keep the child a secret I would tell her. He wanted to cheat… so I would tell her.

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Idk your financials. But if you apply for Medicaid or food assistance or anything like that? Then the state will send court paperwork for paternity testing. And court order him to pay support. Whether he likes it or not. Just hope she sees the mail :joy:
Just a idea.

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Ask yourself this how would you feel if a man who you’ve been with for years and had a child with and making a life with, was cheating and or cheated on you and got another woman pregnant, wouldn’t you want to know? I know my ass sure would. TELL HER. Women are suppose to have each other’s backs, this is that time. I know you don’t owe her anything and could maybe want to do this out of spite (again don’t know) but If you find a way to tell her, do it gently because she don’t deserve the gut punch that is about to come with that news, not only did he cheat he got you pregnant and tried to hide your daughter, most women would find that disgusting. Now say if for some reason she doesn’t believe you (I’m sure she will be in denial at first, possibly and he probably will tell her every lie or excuse he can come up with) then hey you tried, so then you take his ass to court for A. Child Support to help you financially with your daughter or B. For full paternal rights, because honestly chances are if he chose not to be there for the most important day of your daughters life, he will either A. Not be involved B. Be one of the pop in and out dads (which in the long run will hurt your daughter so much more) or C. Still chose not to have any type of relationship with you or her even if forced by law. In all honesty I would worry about my daughter even being around him, because one you said he has anger issues and two he may look at her as a child he didn’t want and ruined his “happy little family” and use that against her. Now from what I’m reading I don’t think you want to be with him (could be wrong) but if you do, he ain’t the one for you sis. Not only did he cheat on a woman he had been with for years and had a child with, but also he stepped out when you needed most, wants to keep the best thing if your life a secret. He’s just all around a POS. My guess is you aren’t the first he’s cheated on her with, just the one who got pregnant. so all in all it’s his loss not either of yours. She’s got you and that’s all that matters. Yeah kids need their dads in their life’s but not a half ass part time one who’s forced by law. Hopefully the other mother leaves his ass once she finds out (not saying that may be easy) but if you’re sincere about your daughter knowing her sister hopefully that can come true. Now she may be reluctant at first but if so give her time because her world is about to be flipped upside down with the news your about to give her. She may blame you. Gently tell her I’m sure you know nothing of me but women to women if I was in your shoes I’d want you to know, and I’m sorry for the pain your about to have and I’m not sure how to tell you this but so and so got me pregnant and I have his child, we had been talking for five months and I ended up almost 4 months along before I knew and I had no idea he was in a long term relationship and had a child. He claimed he would be there for me and my daughter but he disappeared, came back and said it had to be a secret, if he chose to be in her life. I just don’t think my daughter deserves that, now do what you please with this information but just know i am taking him to court (for whatever you chose) and he will be served the papers. I hope one day our children and us can meet, because I’d like my daughter to know her sister. I’m sorry you had to find out this way. <—— write it like that or whatever and maybe just maybe she will go file for child support or full custody herself before she mentions anything to him, that way his ass can get the karma he deserves. Hope this advice helps, keep us updated!

What’s her name?. Message me her name and Facebook picture. I’ll tell her.

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Take him to court for child support that’s court-ordered I’m sure she’ll find out about it

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I would want to know too but your saying her sister should know her sister that poor mum that’s been cheating on might not allow that so don’t always go in there thinking it will be allowed . I would personally want to know but I’m not sure I could let my child meet your child until she was old enough to decided because I would make myself mentally unwell having to meet up with the woman and child that the father had cheated on me with .

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I’ll tell her idk her I have no problem sending a message

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You could take him through child support recovery. I’m sure she’ll know what’s going on when he’s having to pay our monthly to you

Sounds like he’s NOT COMMITTED TO EITHER OF YOU,
MOVE ON, FORGET HIM.
I’D BE TELLING HER !

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He’ll never be 100% involved. It’s not your place to tell her… it’s his. Dark always comes to light, she’ll find out in time, but you’re the last person she’ll want to deliver the bad news.

Trying to force her child to have a relationship with yours, isn’t a good idea, especially since your kid… will always be a constant reminder of what a piece shit her boyfriend and daughter’s father is. If you think you’re going to tell her and he’ll be more involved after it’s out in the open… hate to break it to you…but you need to let that fantasy go. The complete opposite will most likely happen, and he’ll resent you and your kid for “ruining his life” because he can’t take accountability for his disgusting behavior. I agree with Julie up there and say… cut your losses and walk away. He’s a piece of shit for lying to both of you… but the reality is… you didn’t know this guy for very long at all, before you let him impregnate you. You need to take accountability for your part in this as well.

Ps. Ignore all these women telling you to send her info and they’ll tell her. This poor woman is already going to feel blindsided when the truth is revealed… but to come from a complete stranger on Facebook who knows about her business before she does!? Please have more class than that.

Tell her! I would wanna know! She probably suspects it but doesn’t wanna react until she knows something for sure! I’d wanna know if my husband was cheating on me! Girl code all the way!

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I’d just walk away and cut all ties than get wrapped up in the drama and BS that surrounds this guy

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Child support his cheating azz

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You don’t want to be the one to tell her so what I would do is go to court house and have him served with custody and child support papers she will find out then.

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So this man cheats on his gf with you. You have a child by him now. You are still worried about how he feels and all? What about how you and your child feels. He says he wants nothing to do with you and her but comes back around. You don’t want to make him angry because he has anger issues??? You really should step out of the box and take a look in. If his gf finds out and leaves him he will be mad or he will want a replacement that will bow down to his dishonesty, cheating and controlling. He is a classic narcissist. You should stay clear on him unless it has to do with some kind of safe visitation. Get child support started because he wont support anyone but himself in the long run. Your child and you should come first over anything and you should remember that instead of worrying about a lying piece of manipulating crap because that is exactly what he has been doing to you both this whole time.

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My opinion Do everything yourself be the best you can be do the best you can for your child and one of these days all of this will come forward but it won’t be forced and you’ll remember that you just did your part and you didn’t want an anger issue or anything else that might turn into a disaster if you force the knowledge right now

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I wouldn’t force it to much if he has anger issues no telling what he could do but I agree with alot of people telling you to take him to court cause she will know!!! My husband’s ex tried to take his rights away from his daughter and they had cops show up to give him the paper were currently fighting for his rights and she did all this cause I got pregnant and she thought it w a s for him to just up and leave his daughter out the picture which wasn’t the truth

Paternity test through your local courts and then let a deputy serve his ass for said test :woman_shrugging:t2: hopefully they share the same address so she can be just as shocked as he is. :relaxed: And yes, definitely- child support.

Sorry but he’s playing both of you and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s cheating with other girls too, file child support papers on him and move on with your life, you deserve better!

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My ex husband cheated on me multiple times. I would want to know he was unfaithful. I wish whomever my ex husband cheated on me with would have told me (he was bragging to women that he hated his wife and was leaving me and our 2 kids). You and her AND especially those babies deserve so much better than the likes of him. You’re probably not the only woman he’s cheated on her with if he’s that comfortable hiding you and your baby like a dirty little secret. The four of you could do so much better. Take him life court and make him be responsible for the baby he helped create, if nothing else. Life is so free after getting rid of a scum bag like that, trust me.

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Honestly I wouldn’t care if he knew I told her because he shouldn’t have done it to begin with. Now it is time to face the music. You gotta do what is best for your daughter point blank. But if he is acting like that he probably is never gonna be a REAL daddy to her anyway

That poor woman omg smh

Id tell her…then make his ass fight to see my kid. If he don’t, he ain’t interested. Cut your losses and move on.

I’ll tell her! DM me her info and I will gladly let her know! My boyfriend of a year - at the time - kept me and my pregnancy and eventually our daughter a secret from his parents and it hurt me so badly. Oh and he was cheating on me constantly. So yeah. No one deserves to feel like that and I’ll gladly tell that girl she’s being played. Also, you don’t need to let him be in your daughters life. Especially if he had anger issues. And he sounds like a horrible person.

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  1. Go through the legal system for child support
  2. If you are going to tell her do it kindly. She may throw a temper at you out of disbelief. But just be gentle. It wasn’t your fault it was his. What she chooses to do with that information is up to her.
  3. You cannot force a relationship for the children. Say you’d like her to be open to the idea but it is ultimately something that has to be agreed upon.
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She needs to know but I wouldn’t expect you to be best pals and both kids to start seeing each other. I wouldn’t want a reminder of my partners affairs in my child’s life. My personal opinion

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Tell her and no longer see him. So he can be single since he wants to act like he is.

I wouldn’t bother cut him out more trouble than it’s worth he can’t care that much if he wants to keep you and your daughter a secret. If you tell it will only come back to bite you later. Block that loser and move on it’s better for you and your daughter

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I would RUN!!! He will never change your daughter deserves so much better

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Worry about that kid not him take him to court he wants to lie and cheat nah think of how’d you feel if someone did that to you’re daughter.
His gf will get over it no drama has to happen unless you allow it too.

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Definitely loose his number. You don’t need to be around this man. He lied and cheated and he will continue to be issue in your life. When the girls are older they will eventually meet. But right now take care of your daughter and move on.

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Whats her number I will tell

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Maybe get some therapy as to why you settled for someone with anger problems, and a liar and a cheat. File for child support and full custody. BTW, with this jerk it sounds like you will be lucky to see a cent. Be more responsible and get on birth control. Next relationship do your due diligence and research who he is before sleeping with him. Expand your support system to help you care for your child from now until forever. Make good choices and good luck!

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Gross tell her and let him be single

Birth control. Get rid of him. You can do it on your own.

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This is why safe sex is important ladys an gents lol

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And you would want this lying, cheating, ghosting “man” in your life why? Go through the legal system for child support, the girlfriend will find out.

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send him a birth announcement with his name on it :skull_and_crossbones:

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You don’t. You take your baby and walk away. Don’t let him in her life. He is a grown man and can make a choice not to be sneaky. But he didn’t. Don’t play these games. It will only be fights, negativity, and mind games that will affect your baby. It’s 2021, a lot of children don’t have 2 parents. Furthermore, if his name is not on the birth certificate… and you meet someone and fall in love, and they fall in love with you and your daughter. It will be easier for her to be adopted and have a real daddy. Not a sperm donor

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Send her an invite to ur baby shower

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His gf deserves the truth! Not only is he hurting you, but her as well. You wasnt the only side piece let’s face it and don’t tell her for any other reasons but just tell her like she’s your best friend dealing with an asshole. You’d tell your bestie in a heartbeat right?! STOP NORMALIZING CHEATING AND STOP IT!!! Tell her and give her some fucking peace! Stop being a scared lil girl. Stand up for yourself damn. Don’t expect anything from him. Especially a family since he can’t even be a father to his first kid. Take YOUR gift and baby and move on for the love of GOD. btw…I been the “gf” too. I would of dreamed of having a REAL woman come to me with tears in her eyes spewing the truth in my past. Don’t be that bitch to keep HIS secrets too :cry:

File for child support. Forget about him. He’s not what you want!

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You just take care of yourself and your baby. File for child support if you feel inclined to do so. It’s not your duty to notify his other baby mama. That would be bad karma.

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Anger, cheating and bouncing? Sounds like he’s doing you a huge favour.

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File for child support

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File for a dna test to establish paternity and go for child support. She’ll find out and your daughter will be better off.

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We lal make mistakes, I just can’t believe these kinds of mistakes. Why do a lot of women fall victim to guys like this?? And why a lot of women allow it?? I dont understand. Its really sad and damaging to the kid.v

My second kids baby daddy did the same thing. You know what I did? I messaged his whole family and told him about his son so whether I get help with him or not at least they know he exists. My son is now six and still does not know his real dad or his now younger brother

Move on and don’t look back

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Send her a picture of the three of you in the mail with no return address. Type a note and return address so he cant tell it’s your hand writing

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Definitely tell her because she deserves to know but honestly he doesn’t sound like a good guy to be raising your daughter around. He is lying, cheating and has anger issues. I would tell her, put him on child support and be done with it. I know being a single mom is scary but you can do it! Just do what’s best for your daughter

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… girl! Between him lying to you about being single, cheating on a long term girlfriend, not wanting her to know whatsoever, and putting your daughter on the back burner + wanting to keep her a secret… you should be running far, far away.

  1. If he truly liked you, he wouldn’t of lied to you in the first place

  2. Why would you want to be with a boy that will likely cheat on you?? :woman_shrugging:t2: he had no issues cheating on someone he’s been with for FIVE YEARS

  3. He doesn’t have the balls to own up to doing you, his girlfriend, and BOTH of his daughters wrong… sweetie, he’s a boy.

There’s plenty of us on here that will gladly message her to let her know. Not even in a mean way but she definitely deserves to know for herself and her daughter. The four of you deserve better than to be put through his lying shenanigans

Tell me his/her name and I’ll be the messenger for ya :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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My first x his financee found he was a dad when he got served court papers. He I lived with her and her family. She was standing behind him when he got served lol.

Me personally I’d file for DNA and child support. He’s doing you a favor by leaving right now anyway.

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Move on. Make choices that are best for you and your daughter. File for child support. He legally owes that. Sounds like you are better off without him. Safer for sure.

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Do you guys have a mutual friend? Or do you have a best friend? :thinking:
My ex lied to his first girlfriend after me about our kid saying he didn’t have kids.

  • a close friend hit her up and said “you know he has a kid yeah…?” She immediately messaged me.

He lied to his boyfriend after the girlfriend and said our kid wasn’t biologically his.
A old coworker both of ours asked their JOINT fb how the visit with our child went.
Ex boyfriend messaged me too…

But you and your daughter shouldn’t be a secret. Just know at the end of the day you are doing all you can for your baby. I have a half sister thars only 4 months older than me. My mom had her do a dna test. Turns out she is my half sister. We aren’t close really because my half sister’s mom resented my dad and had her believe she is competing with me…

And or file for support and leave. Up to you

It’s not about him, file for child support

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Why did you get pregnant in the first place was it on purpose? Do you not know about the pill? Who will win if you tell, surely not the children and about the child support that will also give him visitation rights with other woman if she stays with him. Start thinking.

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Put your big girl pants on and raise your child on your own. Leave him be. You made the choice to keep your baby and you can be a damn good mom with out him.

You have to live your life for you and your daughter, his gf life is not ur problem. If he cant commit to you or his daughter then end it now because trust me it will hurt her more through out the yrs of her life. Empty promises and no shows will start to be what she feels and she doesn’t deserve that heartache

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Some women get pregnant on purpose to hook a man , so there’s that and also downright evil …

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To me it sounds like you want her to find out so she’ll dump him and he’ll come running over to you…

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I would tell his girlfriend so she can leave him and if I were you I would leave him aline too. Hes trash.

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I know it’s hard to do it on your own and you want to make a family for your child. But you don’t need someone in your life who lies, cheats and has anger issues. That’s not a way to live especially with a Child. You both are better off with out him and if you want the other mother to know just go to her and tell her up front she will appreciate you telling her and maybe you and her together can make a happy family for your children with out the man.

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Leave the other girl out of it. She hasn’t done anything to hurt you except get used by this creep, and so have you.
She is not going to thank you and I certainly don’t think she is going to want to be friends even if your children are half siblings. He has fooled around on her with you, so what makes you think that he won’t fool around with someone else while he is with you?. I am sorry if this comes across as being so hard, but he is not good Dad or Partner material. If he has a bad temper then think of your poor child who is going to have to put up with that crap. No child should have to go through that and neither should you. I would let him go and enjoy your baby and your new life with no stress from the Angry Cheater. Wait for a few years till he is out of his GF life, because she will find out and she will dump him, then maybe you can gently broach the subject of the children sharing the same Dad.
Good luck. I hope that your strong enough to make the right decision for your child, if not for you.

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I wouldn’t even worry bout him. You need to find someone better. If he’s willing to cheat during a 5 year relationship then he’ll just cheat on you to. I would just be honest with the girl and let her know how her child has a sibling. They should be able to have play dates and grow up knowing each other even tho their dads a jerk. Be honest with the other mom about everything that’s been going on.

Sounds like you purposely want the GF to know your having his baby. Why? Because if she leaves him he will come running back to you…

Just move on!

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I had a relative that was in this situation once. She did the SMART thing and left that man alone. She supported the child, herself, until she found a real father for her daughter. Don’t push yourself and your kid on some dude that doesn’t want you. Also, leave his girlfriend alone. You don’t know what’s really going on in their home. His relationship is NONE of your business. He used you for easy sex, and you thought you could trap him with a baby. Accept reality and the consequences of your choices, and move on.

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I can promise you, he will not be 100% involved if you tell his girlfriend. If you think that, you’re definitely wrong and need to reevaluate. He’s not going to come running back to you if his girlfriend does break up with him. Also- if he did it to her, he will do it to you too so I don’t even know why you’d want to be with him :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Whatever you decide to do, I hope you realize this is not a quality choice of a man. I’ve raised 2 boys on my own dime, working 2 jobs, nearly 80 hrs a week at times. It’s doable.

Just be straight up with her… Maybe you guys can raise the kids together and cut him out completely. She don’t deserve that and either do you.

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Child support. You don’t have to tell her the papers will he should be responsible financially if nothing else. It doesn’t mean you will get what yoy want but what your child needs.

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What a bxxxxxd. He is vile. Cut all ties with him, once a cheat always a cheat. If you tell his gf and she dumps him, if he comes to you he will cheat on you. And you will have to live with the thought that he only came to you because she dumped him. Don’t be second best. Build a life with your little girl, you are both better off without this lying, cheating rat.

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A. It isnt your responsibility to tell her. She will find out who he is in time.
B. Doesnt sound like the kind of guy i would want to be around my kid. I wouldnt even try to keep him involved.
C. Yes he COULD be involved but is choosing not to be. Respect yourself and your kid enough to let him be gone.
I would let him go to her and live his life. That kid doesnt need him and neither do you.

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Tell her. She deserves to know

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