My husband cheated on me when I was 2 months pregnant with our son. When I found out, we separated and then he started dating his now wife when I was 7 months pregnant. There was nothing I could do and when he got visitation rights after the baby, his girlfriend was there at his house with my son, and I just had to learn to deal with it. 8 years later we get along pretty well, his wife and I
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I guess Iâm confused as to why you are taking this out on the other woman. Seems like neither of you knew about the other. And the fact remains that those other kids are related to your child. I can understand being concerned with who is around your kid but I just donât understand the extreme negative feelings for this other chick
Itâs not her fault or her kidâs fault that heâs a piece of 
. Technically, they do have a sibling on the way and they should have the privilege of knowing the baby. Why punish her and her kids? If anything, Iâd get a No Contact order against your baby daddy because you wouldnât be having a baby with him if he had been honest. He full out admitted that he used you to hurt his ex.
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No youâre selfish. You donât keep kids away from their siblings. Youâre bringing harm to your child by doing so and they will resent you in the future. Now if you get a vibe that they may be mistreated or harmed thatâs wayyyy different but youâre being petty. Youâre about to be a mother. You gotta leave the childishness to your child. You didnât know about her. He should be the one whoâs embarrassed not you. You had no knowledge
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You are insanely selfishâŠâŠ and sorry not sorry but you are extremely bitter for being the other woman. You can not control who is around his child when the child is with him. And no judge would grant you a no contact order because of jealousy. I suggest some counseling before the child is here to help you deal with your misplaced anger.
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Did anyone actually read what you said? Or did I somehow misread it? The comments here are confusing.
No youâre not being selfish. The child of the other woman is not biologically his. So itâs not your childs sibling. Although I donât think you should be rude with her because him being a cheater is not her fault or yours, youâre also not obligated to have a relationship with her or her child. Period. Heâs saying him and her arenât together so, no, you do NOT have to allow her around YOUR child. Sheâs his ex and has no biological children with him she has no business trying to be a part of your childâs life.
Selfish and immature 
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I am not going to attack you like everyone else on this thread because I actually understand not wanting someone you donât know around your child and I also understand the anger. It doesnât seem she has done anything wrong so I would say give her a chance. In your post you said you are only 10 weeks pregnant. You have 30 weeks to go. I suggest taking that time to get to know this woman. This will either prove your point or alleviate your worries. You may bond with this woman and if not, you may see she isnât a bad person and may actually be good for your child. At the end of the day, unless she is dangerous, you wonât be able to do much about it. My best advice is to try to make this as easy as you can by keeping an open mind. You will also set a wonderful example for your child by doing so. Good luck!!
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Considering itâs not the childrenâs fault on who their parents are, they deserve to know who their siings are. I understand that he lied to you but itâs now time to be adult and do whatâs right by your child. Did you know he had 2 other children? If so, were you expecting yall to be together and forget about his other children or were you expecting you all to be cumbyaing and his other children be around you when visiting âdaddyâ?
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Anyone else confused, she says his fiancĂ© but towards the end she says they are not together. 1st congratulations on your baby, they are a blessing from God. If he chooses to be in your babyâs life, thatâs wonderful but you cannt control who he has around baby ( when he has baby with him) if he is with his fiancĂ© I would try to get to know her and get along with her for your childâs sake. Remember if they are together she will probably be the one taking more care of your child when the child is with baby daddy, you shouldnât be mad at her, she probably didnât know about you when you and baby daddy were having sex, so donât take it out on her. You can only be mad at the guy heâs the one who cheated on his fiancĂ© with you!
Youâre being selfish. Iâm sorry. We are adults now. Not 19 and baby mommas. Do you want to be a baby momma or a mother?
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These comments make me sick. She didnât know another woman was still involved and he slept with her for revenge on his fiance but sheâs a homewrecker? Ends up pregnant NOT KNOWING ABOUT THE OTHER WOMAN and shes not supposed to be upset about the possibility of having to immediately share her baby with a woman she didnât even know was involved with your childâs father, but sheâs selfish? The woman on woman judgment on this page is giving me a headache wtf ever happened to supportive words even if we arenât exactly right? And sheâs the one that needs to grow up? If you donât agree or just wanna tell her how much of a homewrecker she is or how she needs to keep her legs closed must be perfect fucking people whoâve never made a mistake in their lives and ya need to just move on without commenting. She said she needed advice on how to handle the situation she didnât ask if she was WRONG or IMMATURE but you know what ALOT OF YOU ARE!
Chantelle Black sounds similar to your situation
Woman up and TELL HER. If you honestly didnât know she was in the picture then you need to TELL HER. She did NOTHING wrong and you want to be that way towards her? Screenshots and everything proving your side of things.
Also NEVER keep siblings from each other. Selfish.
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You are going to be part of this dude (the father of your unborn childs) life and so is his ex. I feel like you are a woman scorned. Get some counseling. Also pregnancy hormones donât help. Why deprive your child of itâs siblings? Just get a grip and move on. One day you will find someone and want to introduce your little to himâŠjust live in harmony
Very selfish⊠It seems youâre more jealous of the other lady and her kids than anything⊠Sorry not sorry⊠but you need to grow up and get over it. Be glad they want to be a part of your childâs life if anything. Yeah he sucks by lying to you⊠But you should direct your feelings towards him and not her⊠I hope you get over and thru this soon and do whatâs best for your baby and yourself and not isolate the father put of the picture because of this
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Did any of you ACTUALLY read this?
HEâS the cheater! HE lied to her and claimed being single. HE wrecked his own home. Yâall are some toxic petty people commenting on this girlâs post with all these negative comments.
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So it kinda seems like he is a toxic dude and in all reality he doesnât have to be there when you have the baby and he doesnât have to sign the birth affidavit. Which in turn he will have no rights. But for you it means no child support or help from him.
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Do they not make Birth control anymore?
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Iâm stunned anybody is even attacking this woman considering the pig in this whole scenario is the dude. 
never mind the fact sheâs pregnant, and now on top of that the surge of hormones ETC ETC
I wouldnât want my baby around some random woman either! the end.
her head isnât in the right space currently and she still has time to change her mind and she probably will as time goes by! good lord you guys live victim shaming
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Bringing a baby into this bullshit shame on all the adults.
SoâŠ.he was cheating with you, while she was cheating with her ex, sounds like all 4 of you are responsible adults. 
Why is everyone so mean to her? Sheâs pregnant, and hurt.
Op, you have time. Just enjoy your pregnancy, donât have a relationship with him, and give him time to sort things out with his ex before you even begin to make decisions. That situation may resolve itself for you.
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Youâre being pretty immature
Do you even know her?? Sounds like youâre salty he wants to still be with her and if he does thatâs not a reason to keep his child from him/or her⊠she gonna play step mommy to your baby whether you like it or not 
#birthcontrol
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What? Youâre buying his bs? Youâre asking for a lifetime of trouble with a guy who canât make up his mind about women. STOP COMPETING. Never healthy for you or your child. Youâre bringing a baby into a stupid sick situation. Get an attorney. Nippon this in the bud now. File for child support & temporary maintenance. Go back to school & get a career to support your child & yourself.
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How about donât sleep with someone in a relationship! Problem solved
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Dont want that drama? Honey your life and that of your childâs will be nothing but drama if you font lose the attitude. First what did this woman do to you? She didnt cheat and lie. Is she a bad mother? You sound like a high schooler. This woman did nothing to you and doesnât sound like she is being a bitch cause u slept with her man. Give her a break. She might be the best thing for you
Shoudnt of been sleeping with someone who was engaged than!!!
Wow lol sounds like your just selfish and bitter because he didnât stick it out with you. Let the kid be raised and loved . It takes a village.
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He played you. Hes nothing but a prick. Just get him out of your life regardless hes tge father else hes gonna keep using you and the baby.
Why donât you want her around your baby? You said a lot about how bad of a guy he is but not much about her and why she needs to stay away. If she will treat your child rite be thankful. A lot of children donât get a good step parent. Please donât judge her for being with him judge her for how she is with your child. If she will treat your child wrong then yes keep her away. But donât let your feelings about her drive a wedge between her and a child she may or may not be around forever.
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Just give it time, in the end you might end up liking her. Iâm really good friends with my husbandâs ex wife. We do it for our kids and put our kids first. Sure it wasnât like that in the beginning but we are adults and can make it work for our children. Itâs important for the children to know their siblings.
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I say forget them. Itâs not her baby and she has no right to it. This is your baby and always will be. For the first year or so the baby will be with you almost 24/7. No judge will allow a baby away from its mother for more than a few hours then itâs just daytime visits. Thatâs just how it is. Donât listen to idiots, people always gonna hate 
Personally I think I would block them both out of my life, too much drama.
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Why are you so angry with her? Heâs the one that lied to you. And you donât get to control who your child is around when theyâre with the other parent. That sucks sometimes but you really have no reason not want her around your child. You sound like a bitter baby momma. Donât be that person.
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You are being incredibly selfish.
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if shes a great mom then suck it up. my kids dad is a piece of work but hes there for our son and i love his girlfriend. sometimes you gotta get over it and do whats right for the kid not yourself
Personally, youâre being selfish. You know nothing on how this woman will treat your child. As a step mother, this post completely disgusts me. You sound like a bitter baby momma who is pissed that he chose another woman. If he is going to be a good father and her a good step mother then let that child be loved. You have a lot of growing up to do in the next 30 weeks. Put your child first and give it a life it deserves with 2 (or more including step parents) loving parents!
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So put your big girl panties on and this is how it goes when u have a child. When one parent has parenting time the other parent canât say how they spend it or who they see. Also why be mad at her hes the one that lied. Its not her fault. You are putting your anger on the wrong person. That man claims heâs gonna be there but honestly dear all men say that. Donât count on it ever.
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What did SHE do wrong?? Did I miss something?? Why are you so mad at her???
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It sounds like the other woman is being the better person and willing to accept your child. Whatâs wrong with that? I say the more people that care about and love your child, the better. Why is that wrong? Sounds like you are bitter against her when you should really be mad at him.
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My husband got a girl pregnant and she said the baby is not aloud around me. If u donât want her around and he chooses to be with the fiancĂ© and u want support from him and it goes thru court u are going to have to get over her being involved. Cuz she will be in the childâs life unless u cut him out
Are they good parents? If yes then why not the more that love that baby the better off that baby is going to be in all aspects in life 
grow up and take it as a blessing!!!
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My head is spinningâŠGirl I bet you wish LIFE had a rewind buttonâŠ. Good Luck.
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Wait wait wait he slept with her to get back at the fiance but didnât tell her he was in a relationship? This is her fault how?? throw the whole man away⊠raise that baby on your own and stop being a petty bitch to someone who is excited about your pregnancy, especially since she knows what it feels like to lose a baby. #dummies
He lied to you, not her. Whatâs the grudge against her ?
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Walk away. Walk away NOW! Forget this man - a father needs to be a grownup.
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So you only want to keep your child away from her because youâre mad he was engaged? Keeping her from your kid only hurts the child. Donât ever put kids in the middle! It sounds like you are only doing this out of spite and that is wrong. Maybe get to know her first? Itâs not her fault⊠keeping kids away from people because of the parents doing is not the right answer.
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Youâre starting the drama gf. For all the kids sake, grow up and learn to co parent with all of them. Itâll be much healthier than setting these absurd boundaries and acting foolish. Or just be a single mom.
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What makes you believe she will stay once she finds out about your baby? Quite honestly, your anger is directed at the wrong person. HE lied to you!
Now that youâve decided to keep the baby. You need to be a grown up. You need to think about your babyâs needs first. Your baby deserves a father! If he is with someone else, than thatâs more people to love your baby. Nowadays itâs called a co-parenting relationship.
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Pretty sure you need to relax, you are jumping to conclusions before even knowing this woman.
The guy that got you pregnant is the biggest arsehole in this scenario.
Imagine how sheâs feeling!?
Drop em both. You deserve better. You donât have to put him on the birth certificate, but you wonât be able to get child support. Ainât worth it with all that drama anyway! Heâs a jerk. You deserve better. Do you have any friends or family a state or more away you can disappear to for awhile? I suggest that if you are able. If not, well⊠consult a lawyer. Iâm afraid itâs the only way.
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He is a father. You have no say.
She didnât do anything to you. And sheâs already accepting a child from a man that cheated behind her back and sheâs giving him a second chance and it sounds like whatâs really bothering you is that he wonât choose yâall over themâŠhe should take you to court and get his own visitation and his own paternity established. He doesnât have to parent his child on your terms. Both of you laid down that is his child as much as it is yours.
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From an outside perspective, it sounds like you still harbor feelings for the babyâs father and donât want to admit you want to be with him. If he wants to be involved in your childâs life, you have to come to terms with everything he brings to the table. It sounds like there was deceit going on from every party, but if sheâs willing to put it all in the past and accept your child as part of the family, you should do the same. All it will do in the long run if you donât is teach your baby that itâs ok to shut someone out without reason.
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What he told you about her may have been a lie just to hook up with you but even if what he said is true she has done nothing wrong to YOU and unless she is a danger it is the fatherâs decision to have his&your child around whoever he chooses to be around just like you wonât let him decide who you have around his&your child. Why do some women think it is totally up to them? Itâs not. And thatâs not my opinion itâs the law. Several states are now splitting custody between parents BC a child deserves both parents.
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In todayâs world you were hooking up with him and didnât stalk any profiles or look into his life at all. Yeah no girl we ainât stupid he chose her not you now you mad. Get over it the more people to love and protect your child and you mad about it. Looks like the dad should be taking the kid from you. You already trying to manipulate itâs life like itâs yours Jesus
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Technically the kids are in fact getting a sibling and he is the father. If you had been together and separated the same thing would happen. The details are different but the outcome is the same, at stepmom. Keeping the baby from him without a valid reason for the welfare of the child is wrong.
I would have just never told him I was pregnant
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Youâre in a thrumple now
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A child has every right to make the life it wants as well. All you are meant to do is love , protect and teach.
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Lol sheâll probably leave his unloyal ass anyway once she finds out her partner got someone pregnant especially since they were trying to have a baby. So donât stress.
Honestly, I wouldnât stress about either one of them. These things have a way of working out. Their relationship sounds rocky, at best. Probably would be best to go to court after the baby is born and set up visitation and child support.
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LookâŠI donât know who you areâŠbut donât you dare listen to these awful people in your comments. They clearly all need therapy. You donât owe that man or his ex ANYTHING. Period. Not a relationship. Not friendship. NOT A SINGLE THING! He was the one in the wrong. Not you. Not the other woman. Him and him alone. Heâs clearly seriously toxic. And, like I said before, although I donât believe you should be being mean to the other woman about all of this, that doesnât mean you owe her a friendship or access to YOUR child. That decision is yours. Not his or hers. And certainly not any strangers on the internet.
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Petty, selfish, self serving. A few other words, but you get the point.
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I think you need to accept their strange situation, like everyone needs to accept yours. It takes a village bAbe and itâs a blessing to have one. If she is toxic or a bad person things would be different.
I love the ending, âI donât want any drama.â Sis you have drama endless you cut them both out. Why do you hate her so much? If youâve never even met her? Sounds like sheâs being very mature about the whole thing and everything else you know is hear say. At the very least go have coffee with the girl she could be the one youâd trust with your child, even over dad. Nevertheless if you want no drama Iâd leave the âfatherâ portion of the BC blank⊠or learn to live with her.
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When you have a child you put aside those differences. He chose to stay with her. That means she will be around. If you donât want drama then donât cause that drama.
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Anybody else feel like she gave too much detail on the other female?? Like lowkey I felt it was disrespectful. She could have just kept it about her and the baby father, why air the other womanâs dirty laundry?
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Sounds like your in a
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Please, when you go to get this No-Contact order based on your sole reasoning of ânot wanting the childâs siblings to know theyâre going to be a brother/sisterâ post an update. 
This cannot even be a real post.
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Wow. Um. If you are not the the father you do not have a say about who he is with. The whole situation is a mess and you all need help. Your child does not deserve a mess of a life due to your poor decisions. Sorry itâs blunt but holy shÄ«ĆŁ 
You literally have no choice in the matter. You canât dictate if his fiance is around the baby when he has visitation.
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Shes probably just some innocent woman who had no clue about you and got cheated on and youâre gonna treat her like that? What if she actually wanted to meet you and talk because she felt betrayed and heâs just full out lying to you about EVERYTHING LIKE ALL MEN DO.
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How is the fiance that you didnât know about and that probably didnât know about you the enemy here hun? Isnât he the one that betrayed you both? If he chooses to be with her and he will also be in your babyâs life then you donât really have a choice about her being in your babyâs life at some point in time. And honestly, it seriously takes a village!! Unless she personally has wrong you or your child in some way then why not welcome more ppl willing to love, help care for, protect, and be a safe person your child?! If she is going to be in your babyâs life I promise there will come a day that you will appreciate her. I would truly say, meet her, get to know her, see if she is a healthy person to be in your childâs life. If it turns out sheâs not then have a discussion with dad, ultimately you and him are the protectors of that baby and need to make decisions and talk things through, ONLY in the interest of the child.
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Maybe donât sleep with men in relationships. When the courts are done your child will be around this woman and her children if the father is with her. Donât be petty.
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Pause right there. Iâm super sorry but Iâm 90% sure youâre actually a side chick
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The more people that love your kid the better. Youâre being selfish. Deny your baby the rest of their family youâre denying them the love they have to offer.
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You knew dam well he had a fiance. And now your bitter he has chosen to stay with her. If what you say is true this⊠woman is a victim and no harm to you. Grow up
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Wow!!! How immature are the pair of you. I donât think the kids should be with either of you. You and this man had sexâŠresult = a child on the way. A pregnancy loss doesnât mean you wonât conceive. Hooking up with people without contraception is one thing but what about STDâs? Use protection. This man is playing around on both of you. He is getting sex from two women and this âsex to get back at someoneâ just shows how young and stupid the behaviour is. A child is not a possession. It is a blessing. You supposed adults need to grow up. You need to realise that children need to see adults getting along and that means adults caring for children and their wellbeing and safety whether they are blood or not!!! These other children are part of his fatherâs family and as such interaction is going to happen or all you are continuing to teach children is hatred and division.
Sounds like you need to grow up.
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I think youâre ridiculous. If sheâs willing to love your baby why wouldnât you want that. In the end youâre making it harder on your child. I hope you grow up before the baby is born.
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Everything about this is a hot mess. But if the dad has your child around her during his time, nothing you can do about it.
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Why donât yâall just ask her what her reasoning Is? She said she didnât know he was in a relationship??? Like people can LIE and be vindictive as hell.
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Protective over what? Father is gonna be with someone whether itâs her or someone else! Youâre being selfish! I get that youâre hurt, but u need to come to terms with this.
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She hasnât done anything wrong so why hate on her so bad? Itâs him thatâs the bad guy
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How old are you? I feel bad for that fiancĂ© sheâs gonna have to put up with you.
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so selfish. your baby has someone else to love it. why is the woman an issue. sounds like you messed up by having unprotected sex with someone you didnât know. and donât get upset about these answers. you asked, we answered.
His fiance will be around weather you wish her to be or not. You chose to lay with a man in a relationship and ended up pregnant. Time to put those big girl pants on and do whatâs best for your baby and not for you. No need to bash her. She wasnât the one who caused this mess. Sounds like your jealous he left you. The side chick for his girl.
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What in the dr phil�
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âi DoNât WaNt DrAmAâ
The whole situation is drama. SMH! 
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This relationship sounds exhausting
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If you donât want the women in his life around your baby then also keep men in your life out also. You will both be separate and alone. Its a 2 way street. If there is a real reason you donât want her caring about your child then deal with that.
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Okay I was with my daughterâs dad for a little while and wound up pregnant no sooner than I get pregnant he went and moved 16-year-old in with him and he was 30 something he denied my daughter for the first year two days before her first birthday he was told by the attorney general that he was the father so he came to her birthday he went and bought her some stuff and stuff like that took me to buy the stuff he paid for it well he started getting my daughter but when she went I went cuz she was just a baby and me and the other girl was friends in the end hey would come pick his daughter up take her back to his girlfriend leave to go out and do drugs and alcohol as the years went by I come to find out about him leaving her there her brother would go too even though he wasnât he is my daughter and son was actually brother and sister and cousins so they were all from the same family well this girl she was a big girl well the more and more I get to know her and his family visiting her that was their only second granddaughter one son had no kids one son had two boys and in her last son had my daughter so that was the first granddaughter in a long time because his sister had a boy a girl and a boy I believe so they were the only two granddaughters well I found out that I was being all hateful toward her and in the end if it hadnât been for her I donât know where my daughter would have been because he literally picked her up and dropped her off with her my daughter can still tell me at one time he pulled up while she was with this other lady and turned around and walked back out the door leaving and the girl had to chase him trying to make him stay with his daughter and he still wouldnât do it so sometimes these women thatâs on the other end of the deal turned out to be better than what the father is my daughter lost track with her sheâs 30 now when she was probably 11 or 12 this woman got tired of the abuse and left to another state my daughter was heartbroken because she had left but she was in an abusive relationship so my daughter was pregnant with her first daughter around 18 19 and she sees this womanâs brother at a gas station after all these years and she called her found out where she lived drove there the first time she had seen her and all that time she done had a new life with a man in a son that wasnât he a hers she could never have kids ever since then weâve all been together no one each other and where did her daddy end up in prison for the rest of his life I know itâs a long story but it just goes to tell you that sometimes that other woman is a better parent than what the man is my sonâs daddy wasnât worth the crap either because he was never there for my son from that time he was about to on heâs 32 now and his daddyâs never been in his life all heâs had is me and he says itâs his responsibility to take care of me so sometimes you just got to get to know people before you make a judgment about her the baddest part about her father was the fact that when she got up in her teenage years and filled out as in a girl he was hurt making the statement to someone about selling her out to men so see this man turned out to be the devil and she turned out to be the saint she helped me so much when my daughter not to mention he kept quitting his job and owes me over 56,000 in child support
Yeah, youâre in that drama, like it or not. Heâs your kids father, and sheâs his fiance. She has done absolutely nothing against your baby and no judge is going to give you a no contact order because youâre being petty and spiteful. Sheâs going to be in your kidâs life.
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Love should be multiplied not divided
You keep saying âMyâ child the child is both of yours and you really donât have a choice to whom he is with if heâs not with you and I think you sound a bit crazy to go as far as she canât hold the child clearly you have an issue with her for some reason other then your having a child with a man that was her boyfriend at the time if your going to be a parent itâs time to grow up a little the baby is a person not a Possession.
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If heâs the father heâs got rights to see that child. And if heâs with her or around her, she too will have access. You canât get a stay away order because youâre petty, there has to be a legitimate threat and it sounds like the only implied threat here is to your ego. Why would you want less people to love a child? Regardless of who lied about what and how this messed up family dynamic is unfolding, just be happy that your child will be loved.
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Yup sounds like you still have feelings for that asshole which is making you bitter and jealous that heâs with her. I think itâs wrong to use children as a pawn in a childish game.
You should direct your anger at him not her.