I honestly think you sound very immature and not ready for a child.
That being said if you want to keep the baby like you said, you either cut all contact and raise him/her alone. Or you deal with it.
It’s not in your control and she’s not a harm to your child so you won’t get no order because of “your feelings towards her”
The man is the issue here, he lied to you not her.
Personally in your situation if it was me, I wouldn’t continue the pregnancy and count my blessings I escaped this whole situation (which won’t be lasting a few months I hope you know)
If he stays involved you’re in for a fair few years of issues and dramas by the sounds of it. Good luck.
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My advice, start saving for a therapist now because that child is going to need one if this is how you are reacting already. Girl oooof
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Look guys she is emotional. Happy to have a baby yet sad and mad about the drama. Let her vent here. Hopefully she reads some comments and comes to her senses. Op, I was once infertile and had a surprise baby! It’s a gift. Enjoy your pregnancy. Calm down about her. Remember she suffered a loss and is coming back from that. You have only heard this guys side of things.
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you sound jealous hes with her and not you…grow the fuk up for that childs sake…your the one whoring around with other ppls men, yet your mad at her…hell if i was her i wouldnt want you around my kids either
At least he’s wanting to be there? You slept with a man that you obviously didn’t know very well or even mucu about his personal life and fell pregnant because you thought you couldn’t become pregnant. I won’t use exact people, but someone I’ve lived with my entire life dated a man for some odd months and fell pregnant by him. When she told him, he admitted that he was married and had a baby on the way with the other women as well. He dumped her and told her he wanted nothing to do with the baby and to not contact him. They continued to work in the same building as if nothing happened and he pays childsupport. His wife still had no idea and they continued with their life as though nothing has happened. His daughter is now 18 years old with a lot of issues emotionally because she has watched everyone around her have the love of their father and she get a very shit end of a deal. My point is, don’t punish this child because of your mistake. If he doesnt want to be with you, so be it, but do not allow your child to be emotionally torn because you had a child with someone you didn’t know very well. This isnt about you anymore, its about the baby. Meet the girl if she will be around the child and make sure she will be a good impact on the baby. The dad is willing to care for his child, LET HIM. You can find someone better for you relationship wise anyway. And its not like she knew about you either so its not fair that you are mad at her. He brought you into a situation he never should have.
Careful what you wish for
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Grow up. It’s about the baby not your own feelings. 
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I doubt she knew about you either. You’re taking You’re aggressions of on her cause you’re jealous and embarrassed because of what he did. If find someone else who is right for you and your unborn baby and get away from that mess
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You sound like an immature child that doesnt deserve a child. This is what is wrong with the world today. People like you having babies just to have something to hold over people’s heads… Babies and children are not weapons to use in battle.
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Correction…. You want the drama 
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Some y’all bitches don’t deserve kids.
Idc what anyone says, you’re not selfish for wanting to control who has access to your child. It’s NORMAL, especially considering this is something that was sprung on you. I understand and you are valid in your feelings.
However, this is the sticky part of having a child with someone. The father has equal rights to decide who is in the child’s life. So if he wants her there then there is nothing you can say or do about it unless she is a physical threat to the child.
In all honesty they might not last as long as the pregnancy, and she is not the one who deserves your anger nor does her child. Just let it all play out however it’s going to go.
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There will always be drama, buckle up…
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Yeah your a bitch, your only thinking of yourself which is what you DONT DO during pregnancy, that’s your kids siblings and dad. Get over yourself, you choose to pick a dude who obviously is a cheater, suck it up buttercup he will be in your life forever.
Im going to try not to bash you or be rude…so please don’t take it that way. Believe me ive been in your shoes to a degree situation wise. First of all, a protective order or no contact order (at least in my state) will not hold up in court unless you can PROVE that that woman is a danger to your baby, has made threats toward said child of which you have proof (not what you think she may be saying or telling other kids. Second, your CHILD is not a pawn to be spiteful in what im assuming you are attempting to get said no contact order so father of baby has to visit baby without his significant other around. Third, do you know this woman? Do you know what kind of mother/caregiver etc she truly is? If yes, do you have physical proof that you could prove in court that she is unfit to be around your child? If no, you need to set aside your own bitterness and selfishness and give that person a chance. Lastly, be GRATEFUL for goodness sake that he is willing to step up to his responsibilities as a father and care for the baby yall made. SOME CHILDREN ARE NOT THIS LUCKY TO HAVE THE OTHER PARENT ACTUALLY BE A PARENT!!
No. Dont believe he will be there, honestly. He lied to you in the first place when you slept with him. As for the fiance or whatever she is, sadly you have no control who he will take the child around if he fights for his rights and gets granted visitation. No woman wants another woman around their child, it’s normal. But it’s also something you have to come to terms with if you arent with him and he is with someone else
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Well, unless he is unfit, he has rights as the father. You do not have any say in who he chooses to be around the child when the child is with him, just like he does not get the right to choose who the child is around when the child is with you. It may be unfortunate for you and I’m sure it is hard, but that is just the way it is
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U can be more mature.
You’ll deprive your kids from a step mom, a farther, and siblings out of spite?
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I got pregnant by a married man who he then later divorced for me. I didnt want my child around his wife/ exwife. But if she loves my child like her own n treats him good then i dont have a problem with it. I felt the same way u did at one point. But my son needs to know his siblings all his siblings. The more the merrier.
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You don’t have a choice who hes around if the father has visits
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How is it her fault for what he did though? You sound so vindictive towards her because of his actions. If she’s good to your child, why wouldn’t you want a healthy coparent relationship for all? They sound like great parents from your post. I don’t understand the pettiness and the only way in my opinion that someone would even question or say something like this, would be from someone completely immature and naive. Most of us would die for a healthy relationship, regardless of the situation.
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He did wrong, yes. But baby deserves to have a relationship with his/her dad. And him cheating, is not on her so I’m not sure what she has did to you. Nothing in your story lays the blame at her feet for you getting pregnant.
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Honestly it sounds a little selfish… that’s the baby’s father and rather it’s her or someone else, another woman will eventually be in that child’s life 
if you allow him in the baby’s life, then you should allow her and her children in it also until given a reason not to. Not just to be petty. It’s not her fault he lied to you and their relationship isn’t your business as long as it’s not affecting the child. It sounds to be like you’re being petty about it. And her children are technically having a sibling rather it’s a step or half or whatever if they stay together… as long as she’s not causing drama and problems with you then why act like that? Either keep them all out and act like you never met them or let them all be a part of the baby’s life because right now they are a part of the fathers life. And as I said, rather it’s her or someone else eventually another woman will be in the picture.
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I mean honestly why hate on anyone that is willing to love your child and do things for your child a child can never have too much love. As long as she is right by your kid you shouldnt have no issues with it. I mean technically she did nothing wrong by you and your just trying to make it difgicult for your childs father to be a part of their life and that is fucked up
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You’re mad at her for something that she has no control over. I wouldnt say you’re being selfish as much as you’re being childish and naive thinking you can tell him who can be around when your child is with him. ITS NOT ABOUT YOU!! If your child has one extra person on their team loving them and looking out for them then suck it up and let it be. Unless she’s abusive or hateful to your kid then you need to grow up. He left both you and her to deal with the consequences of his actions. Your anger and vindictiveness is pointed in the wrong direction.
Try to be more mature. Think of the child. He has every right to the child regardless of his relationship status with you or anyone else. Also, you can’t control who the child is around when it’s his visitation time. Just by writing the things you did, you sound scorned. Not the child’s fault.
Don’t be spiteful. Very immature way of thinking and dealing with this matter.
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When me and my kid’s dad split up, I always gave his “girlfriend” a chance to be a step mother to my kids until she gave me a reason not to. Now they haven’t seen my children in years but with good reason. If there’s no reason other than spite, then don’t keep the baby away from them. Nobody likes their kids around another person like that but it’s what happens when people don’t stay together and move on. Sometimes those people are the best people for that child. My boyfriend is amazing to my kids and always has been and has gave them an actual father figure that they needed. You can’t make every decision because you don’t like her…
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Unless she has threatened you or your unborn child then your just being bitter. If he has other children he claims as his then those children are your childs siblings … dont deprive your baby of those relationships just because its a weird situation. Lay down some ground rules, but be the bigger person.
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It’s not her fault that he’s a grimy person.
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you selfish asf boo.
Your gonna stop your child from having more people to love it because your jealous. You can say your not, but that’s exactly how it reads. He played you AND HER! So it ain’t just about you. He did her wrong to.
How do you know anything he’s saying about her is true? It could be all false and they could be still together & the whole “sleeping with you because she moved her OG baby daddy in” could be bs!
Because YOU said later on in your post that her kid calls him dad & the bio dad isn’t around? So your story doesn’t make sense either.
You sound like a spiteful, jealous woman. Grow up.
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Why would you deprive your child of more people who love and care for them? You’re being very immature. The more the merrier.
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Extremely selfish. The father and siblings have every right to be in the babies life. You all sound immature …the whole situation is crazy TBH.
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You’re being immature and spiteful. All that should matter is how this woman will treat your child. When this child is born…if she loves and treats your child well, great!! It takes a village and the more loving, caring folks a child has in their village, the better. If, when the child is born, the woman treats him/her badly, then you make the decision not to have her around your child. All you’re doing now is causing unnecessary drama and conflict out of spite & that’s not cool.
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How is it the other girls fault technically you slept with her man and now shes the bad guy… I dont think so. Your problem should be with him being a player she did nothing wrong and you couldnt be anymore selfish .
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This is going to sound harsh but you are being extremely selfish and bitter. Unless she has done something to you, you have no reason other than jealousy to not allow her to see that child. I would only hope that if my husband and I divorced that he would find someone amazing to help love my children. A child can never have enough love!!! And it takes a village to raise a child.
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If you dont feel comfortable talk to her and get to know her while your pregnant. After you have the baby and getting tl know her decide your next course of action from there. Let her know your boundaries and lines you dont want crossed. As she is already a mother she should know how to show respect to you as your babies mother.
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Depending on the state that you live in and get custody right you will have a say i ha e went threw it with my oldest
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I don’t think legally you’ll have any say…if father pursues visitation/custody…he will have the final say
You opened the door to let that woman in your life when you opened your legs. Be a real woman and deal with your life choices that brought another life into this world.
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I hated letting the ex’s gf around my baby as well, I dont think any momma wants to share their baby. But until she gave me a reason (or 10) there was not much I could do about it but give her a chance. Once she proved a danger then I put a stop to it quickly and permanently!
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Your lucky she didn’t beat you up but instead she’s openly excepting your baby. To me your being selfish
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You have every right to keep the girlfriend away from YOUR baby… its also your call about the dad… but don’t let anyone tell you, including him, that the GF has any rights here because she doesnt
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If he wants to be a father, you can either let him or try to prove he’s unfit and get sole custody. If he wants to take his child around his ex, he can. Don’t deprive your child of a father unless the father is trash. When my sons father wanted to take my child around his now ex, I would have allowed it IF he had let me meet her. If she’s good to my kid, that’s all that matters. If anything, she shouldn’t want to hang out or be around you bc you were the side chick who got pregnant by her man when she couldn’t. Bottom line is you can’t control him and you can’t get a no contact order bc she, I assume, isn’t stalking or harassing you. If she does, then you can file, if you can prove it.
Your extremely immature and spiteful. If she’s not taking care of her kids and she’s just an awful mother then I would understand having some concerns but it sounds like you don’t even know her well enough to anything about her. Maybe try growing up and meeting the woman who will be around your child. Your blaming her and taking your anger out on her that you have for him.
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Sounds like a child with a child mentality having a child.
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If you have no valid reason for it, i.e. she is abusive or an addict, etc… then you are being unreasonable. I commend you for keeping the baby, but you have to face the fact that even though you didn’t know it at the time, YOU were the other woman and SHE did nothing wrong. For the best sake of your baby, you need to get over it and make it at LEAST a cordial relationship because if dad is with her, she WILL be in that child’s life. Don’t be that baby mama.
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I’m sure you might feel embarrassed that he used you as a botty call to get back at his ex but that is not her fault that he isn’t a decent guy. I feel like you have growing up to you do before you become a mother
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Oh man. This is a recipe for disaster. Are you young?
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All 3 of you need to take a step back and stop thinking about yourselves. It doesn’t matter what you want. It doesn’t matter what he wants. He doesn’t matter what she wants.
You are all childish and the only ones getting hurt are the children.
This whole post is a ‘pity me’ cry. Don’t hook up with someone you don’t know if you aren’t able to be an adult after things like this happen
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I’m not understanding the animosity towards the fiance. I mean she didn’t cheat, he did.
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Lmmfao GUESS WHAT??? The courts don’t play that shit, he can go get 50/50 and trust me he will get it unless he had a massive jail record or crazy and you will have to prove it… Your baby will be allowed to be around her, this is childish af, no baby should be kept away from the father because of another girl…
That’s his baby too. You sound so unreasonable and stupid. Just like having a baby from a man that doesn’t want you.
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Lol. That isn’t your choice, nor yours to control. I’m gonna give you some advice, and it may or may not be a hard pill for you to swallow: Control what happens on your end, and let the rest go. Be happy he wants to be in your child’s life, there are so many children in this world who don’t have a present and willing father! And not only that, the girl he is/was with is accepting of the situation he put you both in, and has a big enough heart to love your child as her own regardless of the conditions it was conceived. They don’t all do that. That shows her character and what kind of person she is, and if you ask me, you could do far worse in that department. Worrying about everything isn’t going to do you or your child any good. So let it be. It is what it is. Control what you can, and leave the rest to God. You dont even know what’s true and what’s not true right now. All you have is what he’s said to you, and his track record is abysmal. Don’t make your life harder than it already is.
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Ok the man gf didn’t do anything and yes she has a right be a step parent when they marry you don’t even know her maybe its hormones
You sound way to immature to be having a child. I feel sorry for the life growing inside your womb. Just know whatever YOU keep from this child will never truely be hidden and the truth will come out and YOU will look so so so stupid. This is not “protecting your child” this is PROTECTING YOURSELF!
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Why would you be the one who’s mad at her when you slept with her dude? It takes a village and if she’s willing to love your child you should be grateful unless she is like a drug addict or abusive you have absolutely no reason to say she can’t be around his child. It is not just your kid you created a child with that man and you don’t have a say in who he brings into that child’s life. If there is suspicions of abuse you need to take it to the courts and have them work out custody but no judge is going to say that he can’t see his son unless his girlfriend moves out. That’s selfish Petty and honestly it’s really childish.
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So what exactly did she do to you, for you to dislike her so, so much? I think a bunch of us are missing something here, and if so fill that part in…because right now you sound so god damn pathetic…be mad at him for not being honest in the beginning. Don’t be so sour towards her for the shit he did to the both of you. And to add if you’re embarrassed about anything it should be for how childish you are🤦♀️
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You don’t want drama … your casting more drama, then not by acting like a god damn child! Even if this child was an “oops” he still has every right to be the child’s dad and be in its life if he’s a good guy! And sucks for you, but if she’s a good mom to her other children, you truthfully should t be so spiteful! Hell my kids father, met his now wife while she was an inmate and he was a correction officer! Guess who didn’t get a say, who was around MY boys … when you play stupid games, you get to deal with the end result and have to grow up a bit
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Unless she gives you a reason to allow you to not want her to be a part of their lives, then it’s not your say. He is the father, you chose to sleep with him too, as well as choose to keep this baby! Do not punish his fiancé because you are bitter 
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Yea you do sound selfish and petty… and your upset with your baby daddy’s FIANCÉ your literally the other women and your butt hurt… grow up!
Sounds like you’re taking anger out on her…she’s the victim in all of this, it’s not just YOUR baby🤷🏻♀️he has just as much rights unless you can prove otherwise
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You cannot stop it. He can choose who helps him parent his child during his parenting time.
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You are only 10 weeks and experiencing a lot of different emotions , which I get . This isn’t the ideal situation , he lied to you . Either way if it wasn’t her it would be someone else in his life . Unfortunately You don’t have a say who he brings around the baby, as long As he is a fit parent . You will have to be mature about this situation and remember there is no harm being done to your child . She will receive extra love , maybe not be how you want it 
.
I hope you start realizing that baby is also his. So who ever he is with you don’t have much say in it.
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ALL of you need to grow up. I feel sorry for all these kids.
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Fuck that. That’s your baby not hers and honestly I would not put that dude on the birth certificate. Ditch him and his baby mama drama. Do you. You got this. Keep your kid, away from THEM. He sounds like a total douch bag.
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Unless you have a valid reason I would think once you have the baby if the dad wanted some type of custody he could have it. And you can’t really control who he goes around. Assuming the gf doesn’t have some crazy violent past. Fathers have rights to.
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What if they get married? She will legally be baby’s step mum? I know your probably scared because bringing a baby into the world isn’t supposed to be like this, but dad still has the right to live his life. If you restrict contact because of her and if they get back together, you will essentially be restricting your bibs father. He may end up going to court about it which will take some of your control away. Best to come in from a neutral position, so if you need to in the future you still have the control.
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Wow really?! 
my sons sperm donors oldest sons mom is this way. She REFUSES to let our boys meet bc she doesn’t like me — GET OVER IT … i dont care how rude that sounds. It’s NOT about you or your feelings anymore.
Yes he’s wrong for lying about it all but her kids ARE your child siblings whether you like it or not …
Just speaking from experience, she can take you to court for visitations for her kids and your child. They will probably be supervised but she does have legal grounds to make sure her kids know their sibling
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I’m missing the part where she and the kids did something wrong… if he has taken on the father role to her children that is their sibling!
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Take this from someone who is the stepmom without choice… I had no choice or a say when my partner had a baby with someone else. He’s only 5 days old and I thought that I’d be ok… It took nine months for him to be here and it kills me every single day but because I love his dad I stayed. That was my choice. Consider other people’s feelings she’s going through hell as it is. I cry every night wondering why I wasnt good enough. Seeing pregnant people and babies was something I adored now it’s something that breaks my heart. You have every right to keep your blessing just as much as anyone else. But consider everyone in the situation it’s a hard place to be. I’m stuck in the middle of a situation that causes me pain and and I have no say because I’m not the parent. I’m just a step mom.
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Consider yourself one of the lucky ones! Your situation could be MUCH worse than a man stepping up to be a father to your child AND his fiancé (whom he cheated on) accepting your child. Take this time to really think about your situation and what you’re being bitter about.
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“I feel like she’s saying…” GROW UP. Talk about a whole mess of projections and insecurities.
It’s more love for your kid not less than you lady. If she wants to be involved in your kids life just get to know her. The nicer yall are to eachother the more love and support for that baby.
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Please be more mature. The more people that love your child the better. Sadly these are the cards you have been dealt. It sounds like your being bitter because he had a fiancé. I can understand that but your issue is with him not his fiancé.
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I mean, what has his fiance (or ex-fiance or whatever) done wrong here?? I can understand being hesitant to have anyone you don’t know around your child, but you’ve just got to accept it if you’re choosing to have this child. She hasn’t done anything wrong to you. Now, all the other drama with the Dad of her kid and with this guy that got you pregnant - that’s all for Maury to sort out. I can’t even begin to sift thru that. Ultimately, she hasn’t done anything to warrant a no-contact order or restraining order. A judge would laugh all of this straight outta court and tell you guys to grow up, and figure it out. I get that you have done nothing wrong here, and that it sounds like they are the ones with the issues, but if you’re going to have this child and he wants to be an active father, and at the same time is a father to her kid - then you’re going to have to figure out a way to come to terms with your kid at least at some point being around her. If the two of them stay together then the child will be around her a lot. If they don’t remain together, and he indeed remains active in her child’s life, then she probably wouldn’t be in your child’s life as much.
So what it sounds like is you’re jealous…and I mean that in a kind way but you can’t change what has happened but being bitter towards her is going to do nothing good for all of you. Yes you don’t want her around your baby and if her and the father are not together you can kindly ask him not to take the baby around her. Otherwise if they do end up back together you can’t do that. It’s not fair to the Dad(even though he’s in the wrong) and clearly that woman didn’t know about you either so there shouldn’t be bitterness toward her…more toward him if anyone.
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WOW really, I feel bad for the baby your having… GROW UP and quit being so immature.
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Sounds kind of spiteful of you in my opinion. Your attitude will affect your child in the long run. Remember that.
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Forget her! Focus on your baby.
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So I did I miss the part as to why you don’t want her around your child? Because if she’s done absolutely nothing to you, then you are being completely selfish. You should be thankful if she’s willing to love your child like her own. It’s not her fault you where with her man.
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I’m willing to place a wager that she is going to end up somehow being your saving grace at some point in life. Probably with childcare at some point. Doesnt sound like she has done anything wrong, and actually seems like she is supportive of the situation. The dad, however, sounds like a real piece of work. Keep firm boundaries, of course, but also remember that whether you like it or not, she is part of this situation. Just my opinion.
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You are the side piece. If anything the fiance shouldn’t want you and your kid around 
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I think the fiance women sounds like she is willing to help ya out. Single parenting is difficult and trust kids need their fathers just as much as their mothers. You need to step back. Check out how Tom Brady, Gisele and Bridget. They do an excellent job of co-parenting. His son is surrounded by love and gets to have a relationship with his mom, dad and step mom. Besides when the baby comes having extra help is great. You need to step back let go of your anger and do what is right. Maybe you will become friends if you give her a chance. And next time I would suggest getting to know the person you are bonking a little better and use protection. Let go of your pride.
Can I say DRAMA! Poor baby
So basically there’s a woman who’s willing to accept and love a child that was conceived through her being cheated on and you’re not ok with that?? I’d give anything if my ex’s new girlfriend was willing to have my kids around instead of going out of her way to make them feel so unwelcome they haven’t visited their dad in 2 years, but you know, that’s your business.
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You are already a part of that drama. Keep your legs closed please. I feel bad for these innocent kids.
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Oh God help this child. You legally won’t be able to do any of what you want to do. You’re not just being a protective mother. You need to learn how separate your personal feelings from what’s best for the kid. And this nonsense is going to give the kid major psychological problems. It takes a village to raise a child. And your child will probably be over the moon to have a “sibling”. This girl is not the problem, by the way. The man is. If you go to court, DON’T ask for this crap, you’ll look nuts.
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You sound crazy. It could just be the hormones…or you could be crazy
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Yeah you are just going to have to get over that. You and him made the baby and obviously he was still with his woman you were just a side piece. Now with the baby if you want him in the picture I am sure she will be in the picture as well. He as made it clear he only wants something to do with you because you are a mother to his child and nothing more he is not going to be there for you he will be there for his child and I don’t think you have separated that situation in your head. Anyway good luck and wishing all the best
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Do you not want your kid around him because he is with her? Like if they were not together would you be okay with it? There’s one baby mama I do NOT allow my kiddo around because she threatened her life as well as my life. Now that’s a real reason. Kiddo can be with daddy whenever but don’t have babies around those who mean ill intent. I don’t think you should keep him out of the babies life completely. Can you and the fiancé be on good terms or?
He’s the father and you don’t get a say. If he gets visitation, he can take the child around whomever he wants unless something happens and they are a danger to the child.
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Wake up you. You and the father stuffed up and the fiancé is the one attempting to make a positive out of a crap situation, be happy she wants to help you with the baby and not make your life a living hell.
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