I have a feeling my spouse cheated

Trust your gut. I’d definitely have a conversation with him expressing your doubts. Don’t let him disregard your feelings. Did he cheat? Maybe. But, without sitting down and discussing it together it’s going to cause more doubt. He very well may have truly panicked and not known what to do, then handled it poorly when giving you the story as to what happened. Communicate.

1 Like

Y’all are horrible on here… you obviously spend too much time reading stories from this group, got you all paranoid about your husband cheating

5 Likes

19years….I believe u know ur husband better than anybody else. Best wishes.

2 Likes

Why don’t you believe him ?? OR… ask him for her name so you can send her a get well card ??

5 Likes

Why suddenly no trust? His story is quite plausable and the fact he told you is great. If you trusted him for so long why should it change now? Suspect you have low self esteem. Let it go unless there are other things not mentioned to consider. Talk to your husband… maybe get some couple therapy… truth would likely come out.

5 Likes

I shared this to myself in messenger because I didn’t have time to read it all before I had to pick up my kiddo. Will comeback with my input. Just didn’t want anyone to think I was an ass for sharing it to myself to read later

Why would he even tell you the story if it wasn’t true could have just told you he was too busy to call you

11 Likes

Honestly though I’d have done the same thing in his position. I have a sister with asthma, and I know you don’t always need 911 and they can stop on their own.

I want to know why you suddenly don’t trust him? That story isn’t fishy by itself at all, so there must be something else that has happened that has damaged your trust, that is what you need to figure out and then go from there. Anxiety and insecurity can be and are often mistaken as gut instincts. As my therapist would say “put your feelings on trial” list evidence for why you think he cheated and evidence for why you don’t think he cheated. Also figure out why your trust is damaged. You need to figure all this out before bringing it up again or you might damage your marriage more over possibly nothing.

5 Likes

Gut instincts are usually never wrong

3 Likes

This is a detailed event he told you about. If he cheated why would he even mention her, her motel room, or being alone together? Helping someone in an emergency situation is tough and practicality is not always our first responses.

I feel like most excuses would be less detailed and trying to skirt around that gap of time – like saying he forgot his phone, or it was in his car, etc.

He has never given you any reason to think otherwise. Talk to him and have open communication.

Asking us may give you jaded answers because people have experienced being cheated on, unless you are looking for validation for accusing him right away without a conversation.

As someone who has been cheated on, I used to look for validation from those who have similar experiences to make me feel justified for accusing good people of things a crap ex did. Also in my experience, lifetime movies didn’t help my train of thought too. Sounds weird, but as humans we are very susceptible to answers we are already looking for vs. the truth, at times.

14 Likes

Depends, are you looking for an out? You can choose to believe him or choose not to. You may never find out the truth. How you proceed is choice. It’s been 19 years. If I trusted a man for 19 years his discrepancies would have to be a little more blatant. I certainly wouldn’t like his actions and I’d encourage him to call 911 next time shit gets shady. And maybe a more watchful eye if you can’t shake the feeling. I just think we live in a world of skeptics so you’re likely to get a lot of “he’s cheating.” I’d trust that advice a lot more if it was only from women in 19 year relationships without infidelity concerns. I don’t think that’s your audience here.

Could have told you he was to busy to call you back and never said a word…your definitely making to much of it…
Why do you not trust him after all those years…
I had a husband that worked out of town and without trust it won’t work…

2 Likes

As an adult whom has had asthma their entire life, yes it is scary, but also yes, remaining calm can help an attack fade off. I have found that typically a panic attack can shortly follow which can make it seem that much more detrimental. If your husband has never experienced someone having an attack, I can see where panic may have set in and he just wanted to help. After 19 years, you should know your husband better than anyone commenting on this post. Have a talk with him one on one first and foremost

6 Likes

I think he just wanted to save a life. But anyway, your instincts tells you a different story.

2 Likes

If he was cheating why would he say anything at all.He was out of town you wouldn’t know.

5 Likes

Doubt he’d have said all that if he cheated . There are so many other things he could and should of told u if he was hiding what he was actually doing . Crazy story and should of been handled differently but I seriously doubt I’d jump to he cheated . If there are other red flags now or in the future address it and take whatever action u think is needed.

2 Likes

Honestly if he has a 19 YEAR history of being a really faithful husband I would believe him but that’s just me. Sounds like he was just trying to help a person in need

10 Likes

If he told u it was a man he helped would it be different ? This lady could be old n ugly for real . Just saying , he could have lied n told u a whole different story of why he was busy but he told u the truth.

I think it’s all in your head

3 Likes

Look at his actions over the course of this job and before… Is this outta left field or has he slowly been giving you this weird vibe? If he’s been so loyal to you for so long I don’t see him just up and deciding to cheat on you in an instant. He would have been having second thoughts and issues with his own morals before actually following through. If the other company is actually sub contracted under your husband’s company I could see how he would feel the obligation to those companies employees. If they are working for the customer and completely separate entities then I don’t see it because she’s no risk to his company. Human compassion compels people to help those in need. Has he dealt with someone with asthma? Does he know how the situation should have been handled or was he caught off guard. In the heat of the moment you never really know how someone will act. The only thing I don’t see in any of the situations that “could be” is leaving with her. There is no question of him knowing with any company policy and procedure that he should have called rescue. It’s protocol period point blank… Take a step back and evaluate his actions from before and now after and let them speak for him. Words mean nothing’s these days but someone’s actions never lie. I’m sorry your going through this hun

From what you say, he sounds like an amazing guy who does his best to make sure that you always feel secure regarding his faithfulness.
Maybe you’re feeling just a little paranoid now because any situation involving him and another female is unusual for you… Just talk to him about how you feel right now and I’m sure he’ll assure you and make you feel comfortable again. Good luck :heart:

1 Like

If you have a gut feeling then something about his story isn’t sitting right with you so you should tell him. If he’s been a faithful husband but something seems out of character in any way you owe it to him to just ask and clear the air.

Secondly a lot of people are judging cheating by his version of events, sorry but coming from someone that has been cheated on many of times they have ALWAYS had a very detailed story and sometimes it felt like they were over explaining so I would listen to your gut, the same gut that has enforced he has been a faithful husband till now and talk to him.

Hoping in any case that it is the truth and maybe he was explaining a lot because he was nervous as to dealing with being one on one with a female coworker at the time even if it was for her safety.

Best wishes hun

1 Like

That doesn’t seem like a made up story to me… how would he come up with something like that. It’s usually the unbelievable stuff that is the truth… if he has given you no reason to think that he has cheated then believe him on this .

4 Likes

A woman’s intuition is more reliable than a lie detector test… And stronger than 10 FBI agents. Gut instincts aka your " spirit " tells us if theirs danger, if someone is a creepy it guides us to be truthful or you get a sick feeling, dogs sense danger and storms etc… aren’t we better than dogs… We are human we know people, we have a 6th sense for a reason Trust your instincts if if was off to you then it was off. If u feel he cheated then he cheated your souls are intertwined together you know your partner and souls are our ever being. Your soul said yes he cheated then believe it yes he cheated. Im sorry, please don’t ever 2nd guess your God given instincts.

You dont believe him because your gut instinct knows what happened. Always always listen to that inner voice, she was having an asthma attack but she was able to walk and hold a conversation? And then the asthma atrack just went away…nope you know, deep in your heart you know. And dont ask details, you may think you want to know, but honestly, no you dont.

3 Likes

The fact that your suddenly feeling like this is out of place is what would make me think twice. If you’ve never ever had a gut feeling about something like this then suddenly you do I would normally go with gut feeling but you know him more then we do

2 Likes

If she was having an asthma attack she would have needed her inhaler sooner than she would have gotten it.

3 Likes

Always trust your gut instinct!!

1 Like

You don’t believe him because the story is super extra. Why would he risk his job instead of calling 911? He went into elaborate detail without you asking, which is weird. You also don’t believe him because a lot of actions were out of character.

8 Likes

ALWAYS listen to your gut I have just gone through similar situation and had I now followed my gut I would have never known my partner and father of my children cheated on me. Not saying this has happened with you but all I’m Gona say is follow your gut. Also if she was having an asthma attack it doesn’t just “ go “ away you deffs need that puffer sooner then she got it

2 Likes

Keep in mind… this group is biased about cheating. Look how often it pops up here. Nothing about this sounds suspicious to me, and your 19 year history with this man should have more weight in this than the opinions of complete strangers who do not know him.

14 Likes

As someone who has asthma and has had several asthma attacks, I would honestly say just to ask him if you are concerned. Although an inhaler does resolve an asthma attack immediately, as it is known as a rescue inhaler, my doctor personally has taught me breathing treatments to do to open my lungs back up without the inhaler when I don’t have it on hand (now I always keep a spare in my purse and my car just in case the breathing treatments don’t work). It is truly possible that she was able to control her asthma attack without the need of the inhaler. …If your gut feeling is telling you he cheated, I would openly ask him if something more happened.

4 Likes

I think your hubby is nervous overall. Not wanting you to stress. He was honest about a girl. Asma attach ect. He could’ve lied and told you a completely different story, but didnt. So maybe dont overthink it

5 Likes

I would believe him. That is what men do. Automatically,if a good man, would help! Believe him.

1 Like

You’ve obviously never dealt with anything like it. You do panic and you don’t think clearly. An asthmatic without inhaler can be life threatening. Would you rather her let them sit there and die waiting? That’s some serious shit to have on your shoulders. He could have easily not told you about it, or not mentioned they were female. Either way, I think you’re over reacting.

When people over explain, they’re usually lying.

10 Likes

I don’t know I believe his story

2 Likes

Listen to your gut…trust me when I say this.

3 Likes

I would get her name and number from the company or see if she’s on fb and ask her her side of the story

6 Likes

Even I don’t believe him

2 Likes

If he was cheating he would’ve said he was busy working…
Also he didn’t risk his job, he’s in charge and I guarantee no one would bat an eye at him leaving for a short while especially helping one of the workers

10 Likes

There is way too much detail in that story. Go with your gut.

4 Likes

U should know him by now Ans why people automatically think cheating is annoying u been together 19
Years do u not trust him is what it comes down too doesn’t mean he is cheating maybe trust ur husband if there is no other signa

1 Like

Idk why would he feel the need to tell you anything at all? He could have just said something like I was asleep or involved in a time consuming work project. And people can panic and go above and beyond necessary to help someone. Maybe he’s telling the truth? Sometimes we want to believe the worst… Because it’s easier than accepting the truth. Maybe he was genuinely trying to help and he didn’t cheat. You have 19 years of history, don’t jump to conclusions talk to him

2 Likes

Sounds normal to me. People also do out of character things during emergencies too. If this is the only instance of weird in 19 years i would chalk it up to a weird incident.

2 Likes

If you have a gut feeling “”" its mostly right :white_check_mark:

7 Likes

I wouldn’t believe him either - lying!

I didn’t think asthma attacks can just go away on their own. Also sorry but people who aren’t use to lying tend to put too much detail in the lie. He was overthinking. Maybe he didn’t sleep with her but maybe he’s not quite telling the truth.

13 Likes

Trust the gut.
Now, if you love your husband let it go. If strange things continue to happen then you’ve got a decision to make.

5 Likes

The question is, IF you find out that he has cheated, what’s your next move? Can you forgive him? Work on your relationship? Leave him for good?

5 Likes

For him to tell you that story he could have said a man!! Maybe he is telling the truth or maybe she is really cheating. I dont know

4 Likes

You should believe him
Men are so gullible he probably didn’t even realize she was coming on to him. She could tell he wasn’t interested and didn’t start anything with him. Trust him, if he’s never cheated before he didn’t this time either.

2 Likes

You’re not crazy and if he says you’re over reacting. That’s all the answer you need.

He told you because just the action of leaving with her made him feel guilty and he felt better telling you. Do not over react or accuse him of anything because this will make him close up and not tell you anything in the future. Keep a tab on this incident and stay aware. I dont think there was any funny business or else he probably would not have said anything. My husband always tells me about small interactions with other women eventhough i dont think he should have to but i like that he does so i always keep it cool and asks questions if needed. Good luck to you!

9 Likes

Uh and he didn’t call 911? He’s lying

Even coming from a super toxic past with men…I don’t know that I think he did anything wrong. You say he wasn’t responsible for this person in any way-but If someone’s life is in danger and you’re trying to help them, your job isn’t the first thing on your mind. And if he had cheated on you, it seems he would’ve made up a story that didn’t trigger you to think he did. He could’ve just simply said he was busy if he didn’t want you to know what he was doing.

12 Likes

I don’t think he would have even told you a story about another woman if he cheated. This one I think legit happened. Trust him.

6 Likes

Trust your gut feelings. Talk to him. Ask him directly if he did anything

Listen to your intuition

He cheated.
They usually make up the most bizzare stories.

1 Like

You sound Insecute and definitely should get counseling for it. If he’s working out of town he wouldn’t risk his job for a quickie when he has a whole hotel room he could fill up with girls after work. If he is stupid enough to cheat on working hours he probably would have just told you he was in a meeting and not make up a story about a asthma attack and most likely if he were to make up a story would use a male instead of a female just to appease your insecurity.

5 Likes

TRUST YOUR GUT. That man is lying

I believed he explained every detail so you did not to jump to conclusions mens brain dont work like ours. He for sure bought up every detail so you knew everything and nothing could be used against him at a later stage. I suffer from asthma, mine have gone away on their own depending on severity, especially if someone is there to help calm me if i dont have my inhaler.

3 Likes

He helped someone out. Move on from it. If you can’t, leave him. He explained to you what had happened and you still don’t believe him?

4 Likes

I don’t think he’s cheating. He was helping another human out.

6 Likes

Paranoia is bad enough and all you woman on here feeding into it are the wrost

5 Likes

Gut feeling will tell you the truth

So wait…he didn’t call you back within a few minutes but an hour later? I am pretty sure he could have made up a much simpler story if he was indeed lying.

10 Likes

As an asthma sufferer and asthma attacks JUST Don’t STOP…:woozy_face:

NOT EVEN ON A SLOW DAY .
And you’re right… If I don’t have my inhaler it’s an IMMEDIATE ER visit for me.

Lawd dogs and they fleas…

9 Likes

That’s a lot of detail. Wait about a week and ask him face to face to tell you again. If he’s telling you the truth, the details won’t change. If he’s lying, the story will be different. Liars can’t keep the little details consistent.

12 Likes

They don’t just go away . It takes a few hours. I know I have asthma

2 Likes

Just because he told you doesn’t mean nothing happened his guilty conscience got him and so he told you but left parts out of it so he will feel little better.My ex husband would do that and few other friends husband’s do it as well.My ex told me he gave a prostitute a ride across town because she had no way home but he was gone for 2 hours going 10 minutes away so that was his story he said nothing happened BUT later found out it did happen. I would definitely go with your cut you know him.Keep your eyes open.

Why do I feel like you are reading in to this? He told you what happened bit by bit when if he cheated he could have never mentioned anything and you would have suspected nothing?. Idk just my opinion. Maybe you are a bit insecure and need to figure out why? Bash me idc

3 Likes

looks like your husband was just helping … i work as a construction worker on job sites i am a female … if i was in a pananck i be looking for the supervisor helmet hoping he would have something like that or a bag …

2 Likes

An hr for an asthma attack is pretty normal. 10mins there 10mins back. Plus looking time.
I feel that you make be looking for a problem or you don’t trust him. Is there something your guilty about?
You need to talk.
Maybe talk to her.

7 Likes

He would just cheat he’s smarter than that ask him and u will know if he lying end of story

Always trust your gut.

1 Like

Lol I wouldnt either. The more detailed the “explanation” the more practiced and rehearsed the lie was

9 Likes

Just saying from someone who has asthma severe, that doesn’t seem far fetched. Actually I have had my coworkers have to do this this for me. But I do understand

6 Likes

He is lieing omg is he wow what a liar

1 Like

You should believe him. He would of never told you all that if he was cheating. He would of said something dumb and short.

7 Likes

H9ney i know nothing of you but always go with your intuation that gut feeling has never led you wrong has it ?

2 Likes

As an asthmatic, I can say that they don’t just :sparkles:stop​:sparkles:, but they will loosen as I calm down… however that does take a 1-3 hours at best. Normally I do still need my inhaler.

I do lean forward when I have an asthma attack because it releases pressure on my lungs.

Also as an asthmatic I have witnessed others go into a dead panic trying to help me And they come up with some RIDICULOUS solutions that are not really helpful.

I’m not saying whether or not he’s lying, only my experience.

5 Likes

I’m sure he could have came up with a story to tell you, he’s got a good imagination if he’s lying

1 Like

What did you pretend to let a human being with asthma ?

I feel for certain that if he was doing something that his cover story wouldn’t even involve a woman at all. He would have come up with something much better or nothing at all. I definitely think you’re reading way too much in to this and are looking for something that just isn’t there. Separation can make the mind run wild sometimes. He sounds like an honest guy.

13 Likes

He was upfront he may be telling the truth hun

4 Likes

I’m just wondering why he couldnt still pick up your call and at least let you know he was in an “emergency type situation” :thinking:

4 Likes

No way in hell she would have made it 10mins back to the hotel and again looking in her car she would be in a serious condition by than this is fake in real life ambulance on seance and she would be rushed to hospital
He has lied and cheating now please don’t believe this leave him

I don’t get cheating vibes from this at all. Men evade when they cheat and only cook up stories when they’re sure they’re caught. I think some crazy thing happened, and he panicked and handled it as best he could in a panicked state. Kinda crazy that after 19 years you would assume he’s cheating. More so when he’s willing to come forward with so many details

7 Likes

hes innocent and youre a nut job

14 Likes

Yes they’re are questionable circumstances but I feel like if he cheated he wouldn’t of even mentioned another woman. Has there been any circumstances in the past that has made you wonder if he’s cheating? I’m just wondering if this has had a leading cause or just came from nowhere after 19 years you don’t just randomly think your husband is cheating

3 Likes

Have You Cheated, on him, just trying to turn the tables? You Need to quit asking these Crazies, on Facebook, you know they might try to stir the pot…

4 Likes

I feel like he would not have risked his job by leaving the job site, had it not been an emergency… That being said, I think that story is WAY too elaborate to be made up.

10 Likes

Did you do something that you’re guilty of? Because no feelings should come to you to make you feel like that with a story like that unless you are. Maybe you’re jealous that he is away?

4 Likes

I would trust your gut. Mine was right.

7 Likes

Is this a womans only site??because I’m seeing Alot of ignorant responses from men on here.Mama trust your gut and your instincts

4 Likes

I have asthma. My attacks usually stop after I relax & it takes 15ish minutes until I can breath again. It depends on what triggers it.

4 Likes

If he swears nothing happened that would raise my eye brow alot :thinking: RedFlag

2 Likes

My husband has asthma and I know what it’s like to not be able to breath and if she panics it only makes it worse. Really bad attacks can be fatal and if he’s like my husband panicking sometimes happens I honestly don’t think he cheated. I think this was serious and he just panicked and couldn’t think straight maybe.

3 Likes