We had one meeting one month ago disputing all the details of the wedding( vintage style) and dress codes for the brides. And quote! We were told to chose a dress the fit us It can be different style but it had to be the colors of the wedding. I was ok with that! I even when to try dress with the bride and we loved one very much and it fits Well. She even replied it’s beautiful are you going to get it. I mentioned to her I have been losing some weight and I need it to wait.
Fast forward to 2 weeks after. She sends a message to the brides maid needed to chose a certain style dress because she and her wedding planner chose other wise. I ask her if the groom are going to do the same and she told me no!. I mentioned that I don’t feel comfortable with the option of dressing vintage but she mentioned that was not an option. What is your opinion? I am paying for the dress
It’s her wedding wear what she wants or don’t participate.
This is her dream day, if you’re that close can you not just grant her wish for her one special day? I get that you’re paying for the dress, but I’m guessing since she chose you as maid of honour that you care for each other. I personally would wear whatever the bride had asked me to wear. It’s not my day 
If you don’t want to wear the style of dress as requested by the bride, you have two options: 1. Step down or 2. Suck it up. 
Well it’s her wedding and if you feel uncomfortable then maybe back out cuz it’s her wedding and if she picks a style it’s unfair for you to not dress the part and I get your paying for it but again of that’s not how u wish to spend your money for your friends dream day then back out
Her wedding and her day. You only have to wear in one time.
Ask to be in charge is the guest book lol.
It’s her wedding. You do what you’re told. Don’t like it - leave the wedding party and you’re not a very good friend then
I just got married in 2020 and had a lot of issues with people doing this same thing to me. Do not ruin her big dream day. It is her wedding and she should be able to have it the way she wants not what you or anyone else want. It’s about her and her husband to be. It’s not about you. If you are uncomfortable or don’t want to pay for the dress then don’t participate but give her plenty of notice to be able to have someone else in that role.
It’s her wedding. All part of being in a wedding party. Be supportive and take one for the team. 
Her wedding, you saying yes to being apart of it means you go along with everything she says, even if it feels like she’s being a bridezilla.
Her wedding, her day
Do what you would expect your bridesmaids to do on your wedding day
She’s the bride, it’s not about you.
It’s her wedding day the day is about her and the groom. You didn’t buy the previous dress so you’re not losing out on any money or anything.
Do what the bride wants. It’s her day, not yours.
This is why I don’t have friends lol 
It’s her day! Either suck it up or lose a friend, your choice.
Its her wedding! Not yours
It’s her wedding. It’s one day. You’ll only have to wear it once. If you’re that uncomfortable with it, don’t participate. You didn’t buy the dress you said you were going to wait on, so you haven’t lost money on it. It’s vintage style, not hooker style at least. I personally argue against elaborate wedding ceremonies and receptions bc besides the bride and groom, people always make it about themselves and what they want and they could care less that it’s the BRIDE and GROOMS day. Have a little respect on HER day and make it about HER.
If you don’t like the dress and don’t want to pay for that one, then don’t be in the wedding.
See as selfish as it is, it is her day. This is the one day she is allowed to be selfish. We all have our budgets and responsibilities and you have to put whats more important first. Your friend wedding is important to her but in your case yiu have other stuff going on. Could be school, work, home life that requires that money so don’t feel bad. Just respectfully bow out. If she understands then she’s a true friend and if she chooses to backlash at you because you chose not to participate due to your own circumstances then leave her be and stay away. Wish her the best from afar.
Got to do what the bride wants its her wedding day !
It’s her day. Just wear what she wants. You’ll only have to wear it one time. And hey, you may even like it and want to wear it again 
It is her day. I totally understand not liking what you’re being asked to wear in a wedding, though. I was 7 months pregnant, in 90+ degree heat, in Texas (I’m a MI girl), and still wore the tulle dress that I looked stupid in, with white converse tennies that made me look even more stupid anyway because that was what the bride wanted. It’s only one day. Either suck it up for your friend or politely bow out with enough notice that she can find a replacement.
It’s her wedding. Her choice! BUT, changing the plans without discussing it first is crappy!
I think once a decision was made she should have stuck with it, just to be considerate. But thankfully it sounds like no one has bought a dress yet, so it wasn’t too late to flip flop. Aside from that, it’s her day, she’s entitled to choose the style of the dresses worn & you agreed to that when you accepted the invitation to be apart of someone else’s wedding. It’s one day. Be a little selfless and appease you friend.
Sorry but it’s her wedding and she has a theme so you’re either gonna go with that type dress or you need to back out of the wedding. I’m sure she is also going to ask guests to dress a certain way too so
She can pay for the dress I don’t like or get a new maid of honor. I’m not paying for a dress I hate and will never wear again.
Your option is to not participate if you don’t feel comfortable with it.
Her day, not yours. You do what the bride wants with the dress or lose a friend and step down. Ball in your park.
If your the one having to pay for it, I’d tell her your happy to be in the wedding party but you want to step down as maid of honour
Honestly, you chose to stand up to support her so you should wear what she’s asking you to.
We all have closets full of hideous bridesmaids dresses. It’s what we do for our friends. Deal with it.
I think it’s annoying that she said you can chose any style and then changed it however it’s her wedding and in most cases the bride chooses the exact dress and you pay for your own. At least she’s giving you the option of dresses with in a style so you have room to make it suit you. If it’s your friend/family you suck it up for the day and go vintage.
Her wedding!! Wear what she asks you to or respectfully step away and let her find a replacement.
I differ in opinion. If she requires something far out, then she should pay for it! I would politely decline and wish her well. When you pay for something you get what you want and have the right to request that, but when it’s someone else’s money and budget a little consideration is required, bride or not. People shouldn’t be expected to buy expensive clothing that can’t be reused. Bride sounds a little wishy washy to me. That’s my opinion. I believe we paid for both shoes and dresses, plus hotel rooms for the bridesmaids and some other guests at my daughters wedding. And the bride got what she wanted at no one else’s expense.
It’s ok to be uncomfortable and not participate. It’s not ok to expect her to change her wedding because of your feelings. It’s her wedding day.
It’s her wedding she picks the dress. Watch 27 dresses, go get the dress or tell her you’re not in it.
The thing is… it’s not about you
The compromise of friendship 
it’s her day let her have it and just show up with a smile and energy.
When you agree to being in someones wedding party, you also agree to whatever choices they make. If you don’t agree with the dress, the price or the theme of THEIR wedding, be respectful and decline her invitation to be her maid of honor.
Honestly, being someone’s maid of honor is a pretty big deal. You were chosen as her most valued person and there’s a lot of responsibility that comes along with it. If you’re upset over one of the first decisions they made, then it probably won’t be your cup of tea anyway. But if you can put your own feelings aside and remember that she chose you for a reason, it could end up being a really beautiful experience for both of you.
Its wedding etiquette for the bridesmaids to purchase their dresses and to purchase a dress within the chosen theme. Even if you will never wear the dress again.
You don’t agree to being a bridesmaid/maid of honor for yourself … you agree because the bride is your friend and you want to help her have the perfect day. You do it for them, not a single moment of the experience is about you.
You will ever wear it again (I had a closet full of bridesmaid dresses) so let the bride enjoy her wedding!
It’s her wedding otherwise don’t be in it.
Her wedding not yours. Deal with it or step away.
It’s her wedding. She’s allowed to do that. Lol
It’s her wedding she’s allowed to pick what she likes
Her wedding. Your choice to be in it or not, but her choice on all wedding details.
The only thing you can do is back out of the wedding party it is the bride who gets to decide what she wants her girls to wear it’s her wedding and hopefully the only one she will ever have let her have it her way
Just go with your the maid of honor remember it is not your day when pictures are all done and you want to enjoy the wedding change out of the dress
I kinda want to see pictures of the different dress options! Lol
Look for the dress that fits the theme at thrift stores.
You pick you buy. Her pick she buys
Let her pay for it simple, no way my money paying for what I don’t like
Etiquette is, she picks-you buy. It’s her wedding, her day- not yours. You agreed to be the maid of honor, that’s part of the deal
It’s her wedding.
Now, if you don’t feel you look right in what she picks, take her with you so she can see it. If she sees you don’t fit the style, she may give a bit and rethink the dress.
If not, kindly back out.
What it comes down to is that you chose to be a part of this wedding and wearing what she wants how she wants comes along with it… you’re there to support her ESPECIALLY as the maid of honor…Being a part of a wedding is not cheap it’s very expensive…. You pay for your dress, your shoes, your make up and hair (unless that’s part of your gift) And literally wear your hair and the kind if dress she wants you to do how she wants you to do it. If that’s not something you could do then you need to back out now while she still has time to have someone else take your place especially as her maid of honor.
It’s her wedding, you wear what the bride wants for her special day. Otherwise, don’t be in the wedding. Bring another dress, and change out of this dress after the ceremony and photos are taken.
Maid of honor usually doesn’t quite match, so maybe try to come up with something that compliments the other dresses and you.
It’s HER wedding. Why would you be entitled to say what she wants her bridesmaids dresses in. This makes zero sense to me. I would never…
It’s her wedding, not yours. You have zero say in what they want, regardless of if you are buying the dress or not.
It’s not your wedding her wedding her choice
That’s bc the bride and groom are having every little detail done as they’re getting ready to walk down the aisle and wait at the altar. Her wedding planner is on a schedule and budget, your style/color dresses are always put into the wedding planning asap so they can work on making everything as smooth and easy as possible for the bride/groom and their wedding party. It’ll be your turn to give orders and say what’s fair when you get married. Until then, either go w the dress you tried on w the bride together, let the wedding planner choose oooorrrrrrr recuse yourself from the wedding party. This is why i have like 3 bridesmaids and a MOH.
I went w my best friend . We picked together . A color I’d NEVER wear. Does not suit me.
But it’s her day and I’m wearing whatever she wants 
It’s her wedding I’ve been in a wedding where I got 50$ shoes I hated cause that’s what the bride wanted
If you care about her enough you won’t have an issue but you obviously don’t have to be in the wedding otherwise
Unfortunately when you agree to be in a wedding, you have to go with the flow of what the bride/groom want. It’s their wedding, their choice. If you’re uncomfortable with it and they’re not changing their minds, you need to nicely tell them you can’t be a part of the bridal party. But be prepared to possibly lose the friendship. Some people this is a deal breaker…
If she wants to play dress up with actual real life people for HER wedding, she should be paying for it…
It is her friends wedding but I think things should have been set and not randomly changed. The bride even asked if she was getting that certain dress and now to change it. My stuff was planned out and didn’t change. I feel it’s rude to encourage someone to buy a dress and then change your mind. What if she had purchased it before she changed her mind.
Her wedding, her choice
I’m confused did she change the style dress from what was chosen previously?
In the uk , the bride pays for the bridesmaids dresses so it’s not usually such an issue. Find out exactly what she means by vintage style . She could envisage a hideous 1980’s puffball sleeved thing or an elegant 1930’s dress . I’m sure you could find a dress you liked once you know the style you’re looking for xx
She should at least pay for any difference in cost.
Thats part of being in a wedding, you dont get to pick the dresses… the bride does that. If the dress is such a big deal you can opt out . Or just wear the dress your friend picked for HER special day.
Have you ever been in a wedding before? The bride decides, not the bridesmaids.
I wasn’t picky with mine and my friend who was supposed to be my maid of honor changed her mind. My aunt had to fill in.
Her wedding. She gets to pick the theme and dress code.
People get so caught up in the silly details. In the grand scheme of life none of these things matter. Your friend should value you enough to let you wear what you want to feel comfortable and what fits in your budget. I would personally be honest and say that.
Have you ever seen 27 dresses? No matter how ugly you wear what the bride wants. When I got married the bridesmaids wanted short dresses, but I wanted long and that’s what each one wore.
If she changes her mind like that then she can pay for it. It says alot about her as a person and friend that she doesn’t care if you’re comfortable wearing something or not though. Tell her no to being in the wedding if you’re not comfortable. She can figure it out from there. Don’t wear something you’re not comfortable in just to please others, wedding or not. I’m sure she wouldn’t like if someone did that to her.
I had a 50s themes wedding and my wedding party was told the dress code and I provided anything that would tie everyone together. While it was no one’s style other than mine and my husband’s everyone involved happily obliged
It’s her wedding. Either wear what she says or step down from being maid if honor. That simple.
I’ve been in 5 weddings as a maid of honor or bridesmaid and now I’m preparing for my wedding.
I’ve paid for every one of my dresses and now as the bride my girls are buying their own dresses.
It doesn’t matter what you’re comfortable with. Trust me, I’ve had dresses I wasn’t comfortable in. It’s not about you in the least, it’s about the bride.
Do yourself and everyone else a favor and don’t disagree with her on things as minuscule as the dress you wear.
Her wedding, her day. Not up to you. Also not uncommon for the wedding party to pay for their own attire. Don’t want to then don’t be in the wedding. Pretty simple
Should be brides choice even if your paying if your her best friend you will do just to make her day special
Ffs imagine being upset over something this petty
It’s not your wedding…she wants HER wedding style. So accept it, or bow out. You have no say.
Brides Day. Her choice. Also if you agree to the honor of being in it you pay for your own dress. At least that’s how it was when I was young n in friends weddings. If you can’t afford it or don’t want to , just say no thank you. It was once thought of as an honor to be asked.
If she wants you to wear a certain dress SHE should pay !!! SIMPLE x
Its her wedding
When I was maid of honor for my bestie I could wear a dress or jeans & boots. I went with jeans & boots as it was a country wedding but I did wear her favorite color top that matched my hot pink boots. It was beautiful. As for my day, my colors were navy & black. I asked my maid of honor & bridesmaid to wear a navy dress (any style they wanted) as long as it was navy colored. I helped the bridesmaid get hers and we went to Ross. That way they could wear the dress again on dates etc which they did. It’s her wedding and if you don’t like it, you don’t have to attend the wedding party. Just go as a guest or not at all. Your choice
Ask her if your paying. If you can’t meet the price tell her. Maybe she will go dutch with you. Maybe she needs to find another BM. She needs to know soon so she can find someone. You can still be BF. It not your fault times are hard these days. A lot of people out if work or getting fired. I’m sure she would understand. If she doesn’t… your better off. Then you will know her loyalty. God bless.
ur payong for tje dress but sjes getting married and its her wedding…so its really says she says goes
It’s her wedding. If she wants vintage wedding dresses for her bridemaids/maid of honor then she gets to have that. If you don’t want to pay for it/you can’t afford it then tell her if she can help or Don’t do it.
Planning a wedding is stressful. If your her maid then it’s your role to make things easier for her. Listen to her, offer her suggestions but when she’s made a decision for her day support her
It’s her wedding… you either go along with it or drop out. Not a hard decision.
It’s her wedding she has an idea of what she wants
Traditionally the bride picks the dresses and the maid of honor and bridesmaids pay for it. We opted to pay for our dresses in lieu of traditional gifts for the wedding party. Weddings and who picks up the tab for things looks different for some for many different reasons. The one thing that remains constant is that it really is the bride’s day. The look, feel, etc. is all about her (or some combination of the couple). She gets to pick the dress. Period. You can graciously bow out, citing the expense or whatever.
You should wear what she wants you to wear… it’s her wedding. Every wedding I’ve been in, I’ve paid for my own dress and wore what they chose. That’s just the way it is