I’ve been with my boyfriend 8 years as of April, we’ve been together since our teens. I’m 24 now, and he hasn’t even asked me to marry him, and when people bring it up, he doesn’t want to talk about it. I love him truly, but I’m not understanding why he hasn’t even at least asked yet. He tells me, it’s because we are young and or give me time. I’m starting to think he never will. What should I do? I’m happy, but what does this mean. I want to be a wife. But, I also want to be like you marry me or else! I’m just stuck, Is my time being wasted? Because, I would told by a friend of I stayed for 8 years, then I probably will stay for 8 more without the ring. I don’t want to leave either. He knows my stands, I’ve been letting him get away with the we are young but I’ll be 25 this year. Mid 20s
Don’t be a wife to your boyfriend. Plain and simple why would he make you a wife if you are already acting in that capacity. If he hasn’t asked in 8 years he is not gonna and making him is a bad idea. If marriage is your end game look for someone else and again DO Not be a wife to you BF! FYI I married my HS sweet heart. We were together 4 years and live together 1 year at the end of that year I told him I was looking for more commitment and changes were needed for my happiness… we got married. I knew my endgame and even tho I loved him I wasn’t gonna compromise on that. He claims he was already gonna ask but ummm these men are something else!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I have been with my boyfriend 8 years...why hasn't he proposed?
Yo 8 years and he doesn’t wanna be married by now he probably won’t. If it’s that important to you, leave.
Leave. It’s not on his list of importance.
Men don’t really wanna get married to the later part of their 20’s
You’re still young. Just wait. There’s plenty of time. Don’t bring it up again and just be happy being together.
Some people just don’t want to marry. I am one of those people.
Your so young. Just wait. You have your whole lives ahead of you.
My husband and I were together 17 years before getting married. Both in our 30’s. Been together since 14 with 3 kids. Lol men like to think it’s their idea, at least that was our experience. And pushing the issue…pushes them away.
Letting him get away with…
What?? You sound so controlling.
You said you love him, and you’re happy… so what’s the problem? 20’s is early to be married, who cares if you’re not?! It’s a piece of paper. If you love him, it shouldn’t matter.
He may not be ready too yet! Why rush it 
Not everything relies on marriage. But I agree your only 24 you’ve got years ahead to get married yet! I think you need to take a long hard look in the mirror, you have a man who adores the bones of you and yet your not happy because he’s not asked you to marry him. HE ISNT READY TOO!!
… because you aren’t the one, unfortunately.
At 24–I can see why no rush. BUT if it’s a priority for you and not for him–that may be a sign to move on!
Whatever you do don’t force anyone into marrying you. When and if he is ever ready he will ask you. Maybe ask him if he ever wants to get married one day if you def need to know that.
Why is everyone in a hurry to get married? The certificate is only a piece of paper. You’re already committed to him.
My now husband and I started dating when I was 15, he was 17… we had been together 10 years before we got engaged and 11 before we got married.
The years together as a teen count, but they don’t…we didn’t live together, we then went to college, but I was equally as upset as you are… looking back I’m glad the timeline happened when it did. We were ready.
He hasn’t proposed because he’s not going to.
I doubt he will marry you. When I was younger I dated a guy for a long time. Marriage was evasive. One nite I watched “when Harry met sally” movie And in one scene her old boyfriend gets married. She was crying and said “ it wasn’t that he didn’t want to get married - he didn’t want to marry me”. I took a look at my relationship and moved on. Best move I made. Good luck with your decision.
My bf refuses to get married. It bothered me at first but now I’m fine with it. We’ve been together 6 years and aren’t planning on getting married. Marriage isn’t everything. We’re happy. Why ruin it?
We’ve been together since I was 15 and he was 18, 17 years this year… We’re not married🤷♀️ It’s only as important as you Make it and tbh happiness IS EVERYTHING so don’t think the grass is greener and end up hating the life you lead yourself to.
19 years here… he wants to wait until we have the money for a good wedding and a trip. We have kids and he’s not going anywhere… it’s also cheaper for us to not be married.
If you feel like you’re wasting your time JUST because you’re not married then you’re in the wrong relationship and he deserves better 
I’ve been with mine for 6 years and we just got married June last year because that was when we was both ready now we already had 3 kids together before we even married but we wanted to make sure this is what we both wanted. We both wanted too years ago but we just waited he says it was the right time
I was with my kids dad for 9 years 2 kids…… got married. Was married for not even 4 years and divorced…
Do you have stable good jobs, a house, a savings account, cars, etc. Maybe he wants to make sure he can provide you the life he thinks you deserve. And before marrying you he wants to get his ducks in a row. I’m turning 29 this year and think back to how much I’ve grown since turning 25. Trust me. We are still young. I’ve been with my boyfriend 9 years and we are expecting our 2md child together next month. Marriage isn’t something we talk about. In reality why bother. It’s just a piece of paper
Why rush things? Yes you have been together eight years…but a majority of those eight years you were just KIDS !!! There is never a need to rush marriage and definitely not a time frame or certain age where things must be done by. Like you already stated you’re happy and you won’t leave. Explain one last time to him that it hurts you that the two of you aren’t married by now and then just leave it be and enjoy life.
You’re young. He’s young. I got married at 20 after 4 yrs. Trust me… I should have waited. I’m still married but it wasn’t easy at all. We both were young trying to find ourselves and grow then having to grow together.
Rings don’t make a relationship. Don’t push it.
He basically said “aye give me time to figure out if imma love you forever”. Lol. No. Throw him away. 
You ask him to marry you.
I started dating my now husband when I was 16. We grew up together. He didn’t propose for 11 years. ELEVEN! I kept thinking wth! We talked about it, friends gave him sht about it all the time… parents started questioning…. but he wasn’t ready, AND THATS OKAY! Do you love him? Does he love you? That’s what matters. Grow together and BOTH have an understanding of the future. Now, I’ve been married for 2 years & have a 5 month old. Timing was perfect.
Hang in there! Again, talk to him, let him know how you feel, and as long as it’s something he EVENTUALLY wants… stick with him. You love him!
If he wanted to, he would. After this long, it’s convenient and he probably thinks you wouldn’t leave. But let me tell you something else for your benefit. You haven’t lived yet girl. You have been together since teens. I would say end it. Travel. Experience all the things you haven’t done, before you are bogged down with a mortgage and kids. Those aren’t bad things, just cuts into flexibility. Fall in love with a stranger for a weekend. Be a little reckless. Try exotic foods, camp on a beach. Read more. Make art. And figure out who you are outside of him.
Bruh, think about how much money y’all will waste on one day, ONE. Not to mention, getting the government involved to make sure your partner never leaves you, and if they do want to, they have to pay you. Idk, it’s never been my kinda thing, but a promise ring is sweet as and proves you’re not wasting your time and just enjoying your time with them
15 years and counting for me
I always say you need to wait atleast five years before you really k ow someone but in the long run it’s easier to leave your boyfriend than a husband. Now with that being said I think the mind set you are approaching is not good for you. You shouldn’t allow others to get into your head and ruin your happiness. Good luck momma
Get outta the relationship 8 years is more than enough time to figure out if yall are ment to be together or not, But if youre happy without the ring- then stay. But if it means alot to you- and they dont give a shiz, then you gotta end it & do whats right for you… i was married at 23 & still am married now (and i didnt even know if i wanted to be married!!) but if he isnt wantinf to marry you and have kids or start a married life- then maybe yall need space…
I’m sorry but 25 is young. Most people are just graduating college. 8 years is a good chunk of time but you were teenagers when you began
If y’all are happy in the relationship why force!? It’s just a piece of paper. If you have a good man then just enjoy that! At least if shi+ goes south you don’t have to mess with a divorce. Don’t worry be happy 
Maybe you are not wife material 
,I’m joking.
I do not understand why so many women are in a rush to be married, a paper is not a guarantee for eternal love , you guys still pretty young and maybe he has more importantly goals on his life than to be married
Does he believes in marriage? You know you can propose to if it means that much to you.
Could be worse. You could have married him not even being a year together. Just to possibly not work out. Take your time you’re still young
You are young and exactly why I tell teens to date around. Not sleep around, date. Be young, party, travel, live life. And then come back and see if you still want him.
Some people don’t want to be married. Time to have a hard Conversation about what each other want and how to move forward.
Honestly sounds like he is staying because it’s easier than leaving I say pack up and leave
I was with my ex for ten years. Marriage didn’t last 2.
If you love each other, your time is not being wasted. If there is a solid foundation and love, that is all that matters.
Maybe he wants to be in a better spot financially, career, and other goals. Only a deep conversation with him can give you answers, not strangers.
My sister was with her boyfriend for years and years, plus a child. They just got engaged because for my BIL they are finally in a good place financially and career wise.
if you find yourself having to issue ultimatums, it’s time to go.
Idk knowing what I know now. I’d make sure to never actually get married. I also live in a state that recognizes common law as well. It’s a piece of paper. There are other pieces of paper that can legally give you legal rights just have them notarized. Trust me it won’t feel any different but if anything were to arise and divorce is a crap hole I never wanted to do again but here I am, doing it again and I hate it!
What you should do depends on how you feel. If he is the one you want to marry then wait it out. If you think you could find a man like him that would marry you within a particular timeframe then leave.
Marriage hasn’t ever been a huge thing for me, we’ve been together11 years, but I understand to some women it’s a big deal.
If You’re giving Him Sex and Already living as if You are Husband and Wife… living together and “sharing bills” after 8 years…
He’s probably not going to
As long as he’s getting the milk free he’s not going to buy the cow
That seems like a long time.
I got married too young thinking I was in love… that was my ex husband; I didn’t give myself that chance to see who I really was
Because you gave him all the wife qualities before you were the wife. So why marry you if he’s getting wife perks from his girlfriend?
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free
Just ask him your self that what I did we got married last year
What’s the hang up on marriage? You just want the party, or…? Because as far as commitment goes it seems like you have it. Can you talk with him? Can you be ok if he’s happy staying together without the party?
could be something he went thru why he’s weary about marriage.
what my parents did to me as a child made me live in fear over marriage. There’s conversations that need to be had
If your happy and its not broke, dont fix it, you might not like the outcome. He has already stated his feelings about marriage. You need too decide if you can be happy without being married.
If you’re smart, enjoy your 20s. Life has barely begun for you guys. Marriage is expensive in all aspects aside from life changing. If your lives are okay like this and he isn’t going anywhere, what’s the rush? If your in this for a ring then your not in it for the right reasons. One thing you can ask is where he stands on the thought of marriage and take it from there.
I don’t understand what the big deal is about marriage I know people who have been together 10+ years once they get married it all falls apart and they’ve divorced I’ve been with ny partner 5 years and I’ve no intention of getting married I’m happy why ruin it it’s a piece of paper and one day of wearing a dress having a party costing thousands personally I don’t see the point. But hey its only my opinion some ppl love all that shenanigans.
if he wants to he would have provided the ring, sounds like he doesn’t know what he wants. I did this with someone gave them 8 years and 2 kids we separated due to infidelity on both sides and now less than a year later after our separation he proposed to his new GF. If the other person wants it just as much as you they will ask.
Marriage is overated now a days BUT what changes after 8 years aside from a ring… hes comfortable and gets everything without the ring.
Me and my fiance decided to not to get married so we’re just engaged we call each other husband and wife but everyone knows we’re not legally but we’re happy. That’s where it counts
Just because he’s not ready now don’t mean he won’t be just be patient or live life
Watch. You’ll break up and he will married the next person in a blink. It’s always like that so please move on. You are wasting time to meet your real person 
Sometimes men are just really stupid
You guys are young. Most guys don’t feel ready for that step until their late 20’s early 30’s. Maybe talk to him about a promise ring instead of marriage?
It’s just a piece of paper. You’re making a big deal out of nothing. You don’t have to be married to have a great life together. Look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell.
He doesn’t want to get married. 8 years is more than enough time to know if you want to marry someone. He’s comfortable in the situation as it is. You will have to be the one to leave. Don’t waste anymore time. 
Don’t have a child on No Ring , for starters.
Would you be willing to live on your own,
no benefits, till he figures it out?
Give him two more years or so. Set a personal timeline up for yourself so it’s a length of time u can deal with so it gives him enough time To do it and u enough time to say enough is enough
Everything happens for a reason… if you have to force something, it’s not meant to be! Words to live by 
Why don’t you ask him, buy a ring and ask him if he says no or not yet etx dicuss the future if he dont want the same as you in the future time to move on if you don’t want the same things… if he wants to leave it a bit longer as for a promise ring as a sign of commitment instead n then talk about it again in a year or 2 at least then you have a ring on your finger x
My husband is 52 and we just got married 2 years ago, he’d never been married. He became a father to our daughter and son at 49 and 50.
You could always propose
Going on 7 years with my bf July 4th & he just proposed in March
Your only 24 , you ha e time
Marriage is highly overrated.
These days it’s expensive to get married and 4× expensive to get a divorce, and it’s usually the guy that gets screwed. I honestly don’t blame men for not wanting to get married.
Honey I been with father of my kids for 20 years he never proposed
‘Don’t forsake your husband for your boyfriend’
Check the laws in your state. This will help you decide if you are better off single or married.
If your goal is being a wife, he should have proposed or at least discussed it knowing you want it.
Personally, I would not stay. You’re not on the same page and doesn’t seem likely that will change.
He probably doesn’t want to get you a cheap ring and feels he can’t afford an expensive one. You’re both young still. What’s the rush?
If he’s telling you he’s not ready, then he’s probably really not ready. Marriage is a huge commitment and one person shouldn’t have a time frame on when they should do it. It’s not just a ring and a ceremony. There’s so much more to it.
Just keep casually mentioning it to him and let him decide when he’s ready. People telling you to leave is silly. Why throw away 8 years over it? If the relationship is good and you love each other, keep going.
Wish you all the best! 
expect the unexpected dont force it or give ultimatums then if he does it wont be genuine it would be bacuse he felt he had to not because he wanted too
Why are you asking on here, instead of asking him?
Back in the old days it was called “shacking up”…
Maybe you should move on. All he wants is a girlfriend, and he has that. You want a husband, and you don’t have that ( or expectations of it).
Asking strangers is going to put things in your head that may not be true and create issues that aren’t there.
You need to have a serious talk with him about your future.
If you don’t have any children and you’re living the life as a married couple, why would he want to get married? He’s already reaping the benefits. If you continue this for many years, the only thing you will not benefit from is sharing of assets. If one of you goes to the hospital because you’re not married, you might want to consider if you have not done so, power of attorney on health and finances and HIPAA access. You’re going to need to make sure you have a will where you both write everything down because when family gets involved it’s not going to be that easy. You both won’t naturally have claim to one another’s property unless you both own it. I hate to be that way but it’s just things to consider.
My husband and I had our first baby at 15 and 16 in 2009. It took 10 years for us to get married. We are still together. I dont really see the point in rushing… it will happen at the perfect time.
He may be scared of thr commitment they comes with being legally married. Some men are. There’s lots of hoops to go through if it doesn’t work out in the long run. My husband proposed after the first year, but we were engaged for 4 years before getting married. Now we have been together almost 12 years. Take your time dear.
Mid 20s is still young honey. A lot of people arent ready or mature enough til their 30s. It will come.
WHY buy the milk when you already have the cow?
Go shop around. DATE build a relationship with someone that wants what you want.
If you soend your whole life with someone you are not married to you are NOT ENTITLED his social security
or retirement. If you have spent your time raising kids you are not entitled to the property he owns that you have lives on NOTHING.
MOVE ON
Some of the best relationships aren’t married. I think that might be better because either one could wall out without a big deal of lawyers. And if you two stay together the love is real
Well if your happy and things are good between you two. Just enjoy your life. If not leave.
Maybe ask him if a goal of his with you…is to get married at some point.
You never know, he could also be planning it soon and just doesn’t wanna spoil it.
Don’t rush it honestly you have time and the only difference is a piece of paper, I’d ask if that’s something he wants in the future to determine if your wasting your time. If he says yes then just enjoy each other let him do it on his time
If he wanted to, he would. I wouldn’t waste anymore of your time.
Go on Netflix ultimatum