It’s a crap shoot. He’s already got all the benefits of marriage, so he’s in no hurry. You two are still young, weddings are expensive. I don’t know where you stand financially, but maybe those thoughts have crossed his mind. But for myself, 8 years is a long time. You need to find out from him what he intends to do. Does he really ever plan to marry you? Or is he content playing house? These are things you have to find out from him. And if you don’t get the answers you want, then you can make an informed decision as to what you want to do next.
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Marriage is overrated
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Honest- I think you need to first decide “what if” he doesn’t want to get married, how long are you willing to wait? Then you need to have a real conversation. Sit down and have a very FRANK conversation. Then decided together what that looks like. Getting on the same page is NOT easy but needed especially if you want a married future. Side note - I am married and we aren’t always on the same page but we work to be
He doesn’t want to get married…he still looking
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I was married when I was 19. We both changed significantly in the 25 years we were together. Which I feel is normal when you age from 19 to your 40s. But we couldn’t stick with it. The differences became so large. My point is, there is nothing wrong with waiting and making sure you both are headed in the same direction. I wanted marriage and love so badly that I didn’t stop to think if I would still want that in 30 years or so. You both were so young when you met, there is nothing wrong with truly thinking about it and looking deep into your soul. Maybe you will find that you still want him as your life partner and you will be certain of your own feelings at least. Good luck! 
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He is wasting your time. Get to know other people.
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Been with mine almost 14 we got 4 girls together an I could care less about marriage
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Girl- y’all are still young. I’ve been with my man for going on 11yrs and don’t have a ring and I’m 33. Be patient and enjoy your life, and don’t let some title dictate your relationship.
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I got married at 19, things were a little rushed. We loved each other and we knew that. We work everyday to choose each other and make the most of married life. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows and it takes hard work. He may just be scared that marriage will put a damper on things and it can if you let it. Being married to someone is waking up everyday and choosing to love them, choosing to be loyal to them, choosing to trust them, and just plain choosing them. If it really means that much to you sit down and ask him to talk. Don’t pull a “if you don’t marry me soon it’s over” that will just cause a reaction. Giving someone an ultimatum like that can often evoke an angry response they they probably regret later, but pride gets in the way. Things are said that can never be taken back. Just simply ask to have a conversation about it but make sure he knows that you don’t want to make him feel pressured to do anything. Just try something like “we’ve been together for 8 years, I know we’re still young, but is marriage in the cards at all. Is marriage something you want at any point. Most people are starting to have children now in the 20s because they’d rather be older and able to relax and play with grandkids versus 30 something and changing diapers. I’m just curious as to what your preferred timeline is in marriage and children and when you feel like a good time to start all of it would be” Don’t shame hun for what he says, don’t be rude or brush it off. Hear him out and let him speak on it. If you don’t like or agree with what he says then go into a “is there any way for us to compromise here. Is there anything you’d be willing to give and take? How can both of us be made happy and meet in the middle?” Kind of conversation. If you don’t see eye to eye and want different things then take time to think, both of you, and proceed from there. Love isn’t always enough, love doesn’t mean you’ll be on the same page at the same time. Often times though, women will give wife privileges. Women will do things for men that wives do without getting the level of commitment, a ring, a marriage, etc. so that makes the why wonder why he’d even do that if he’s already getting it. Why he would out time and money and effort into getting something he’s already getting. That’s the biggest issue. Girlfriends don’t cook, clean, baby, etc boyfriends. Girlfriends don’t do the job of a wife. Now that being said girlfriends can do that stuff for there boyfriends from time to time, but it’s not an all day everyday thing. If you are acting as a wife and he isn’t ready for marriage then stop. Act like a girlfriend. Show him that to get things from you as though he would wife you he had to actually make you a wife. And don’t come for me for that because I think it’s the same way for a man acting like a husband without having the women marry him either. Women will put men off the same way if they’re already getting treating like they are in a marriage, it’s just more common for men to do it.
Has he been married before? It could just be a defense mechanism.
don’t worry about it - if your boyfriend just wants to live common-law - u should be happy about that - by the sounds of it your boyfriend is either not ready to settle down , or there is something from his past that he is hiding from u which is stopping him from asking u to marry him. did u ever think that his mom and dad never married but because they lived together for such a long time they where considered married? girl just don’t rush him when the time is right for him he may ask u ,but the time may not be right -right now! go out and enjoy your life have fun with your friends
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What you want in a partner changes….
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You’re still young but if it bothers you then why don’t you pop the question
Let him do it willingly, because if you force him he will come and use it against you
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I’ve been in my relationship for 10 years… we have 2 biological kids together and he fathers my older 2. We plan on getting married at some point when we can financially afford it…but either way we both know it wouldn’t change anything either way… we already feel married…just don’t have the marriage license… 
stay patient… if yall are meant to be it’ll happen when the time is right. Either way it still doesn’t change how yall feel about each other. Let it play itself out. When it does happen there will be no regrets and your marriage will be stronger than ever!
Stop worrying about getting a piece of paper that says your his… marriage isn’t for everyone. Some rather just leave it as it is. Especially since weddings are expensive
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Why don’t you ask him? Why’s it always gotta be the man to ask?
this makes me remember “he’s just not that into you” movie. just like the movie the guy did not propose, he did not believe in marriage but it’s a movie it has a happy ending which he proposed at the end of it. 
Been white my SO for 12 same boat. I just want him committed to me and honest.
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If he hasnt proposed now sounds like hes too comfortable with things as they are…u can either accept it or move on…maybe has commitment phobia…
There is nothing wrong with wanting to get married. He just isn’t in that head space so maybe he isn’t the one. I think you need to figure out if you can be happy/satisfied with things if you don’t marry.
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You should have a hard conversation with him. If you do not want the same things, that is fine, but you need to walk. Your emotions are keeping you from what your head knows is needed. You are afraid to do the work that will probably result in feeling very hard emotions. It is ok if you want different things, but you both need to go find yourselves and then a significant other that does want the same. Time is too short. Make the leap to be truly happy. You wony ever regret putting yourself and happiness a priority
8 years ?! Wow sounds like ur wasting your time. I’ve heard men know within the 1st couple of months if she’s the one … So ?! An ultimatum maybe
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It may not JUST be age , it may be about where he is in his career, education or financial future and has specific goals he wants to achieve before he considers marriage
Why buy the cow when you can have get the milk for free
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Why fix something that isn’t broken 
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We will be married 28yrs this month and we lived together for 2yrs. Some people are not the marring type. Ask then you can make an informed decision. Good luck 
Sit him down and ask whether he wants to be married. Tell him that you do if that is what you want. The fact is maybe he doesn’t actually believe in it or maybe there is something that is in his subconscious that is making him think you aren’t the one for him. It could also be that he has become complacent in the relationship.
It’s an old outdated saying “why make the commitment when all your needs are being met”, that saying was something about milk and buying the cow!
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Because he doesn’t want to marry you. Plain & simple. He’ll say he eventually does to keep you around but the fact of the matter is, if you want to marry someone you propose. There is no time limit on an engagement so you dont have to get married right away. But a proposal makes your intentions clear. Steve Harvey has done a segment on this. I suggest you Google it. 
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Start living for yourself. Do things on your own. Don’t include him on anything. See if he starts missing you from his life. If he asks what’s up tell him you’re trying to learn to live without him. Don’t get pregnant.
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Why buy the cow when the milk is free??
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If y’all are happy together and love each other then leave it alone. You are still young don’t rush into a marriage believe me.
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I do believe you shouldn’t force someone to marry you. I’ve been with my husband for 22 yrs, we have been married for 18. Let me ask you…what do you think marriage gives you that you don’t already have? It doesn’t change the way you love each other, it doesn’t change your home life, it doesn’t change that you are partners or anything else…all it changes is your last name, your tax forms and you now have the title of Wife. If you are happy and in love with one another, you do not need a piece of paper to tell you that😉
Give him time, my son is 23, he isn’t anywhere near ready to be married, you have to remember men mature slower than women. Best of luck to you.
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Take it from someone who was married at 19 and divorced before they turned 23…you are young,you have your entire lives ahead of you,a piece of paper and a ring don’t change anything
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Because he is waiting to find the person he actually wants to marry . Men know very quickly if you are something they want in their life like that .
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Just wait until he’s asleep and take his phone in another room…
Whisper ENGAGEMENT RINGS
“WHY I WANNA MARRY MY GF ARTICLES “
“Men are happier married” etc
Into his phone
The AI will do the rest
If it comes from you it feels pushy… if he thinks he realized on his own 
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I just got married and we’ve been together 12 years before a proposal… paper doesn’t change feelings… if you want it stay, if it’s not enough express it to him and give him the choice … I chose to stay and we just got married this past November 
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If we truly understood that God’s perfect plan was to wait to give all the perks of marriage (living together, sex before marriage, for example)when one actually does get married, then that would save the unnecessary heartache of wondering why our significant other isn’t bothering to propose as the other person is already getting the perks of marriage so why should they bother asking to marry? I know this as a truth because I lived it and did things my way only to end up hurt and broken. I waited and now am going to marry my best friend and love of this earthly human love! My opinion.
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Don’t ruin a good thing for a title and a piece of paper. Commitment means something different in this day and age…not taking away from marriage, as I’ve been married for 16yrs, but it’s totally possible to be completely devoted to your partner without all of that.
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I like how this this is all about advice but everytime I look in the comments it’s always old women just “oh my god leave him” then you have some people who give really good advice
I was with someone for a long time we was in our teens and we broke up in our mid 20s. Now I’m 30 and I’m seeing someone younger. Hey, dont judge me ok. Of course I want marriage. I let him know. He knows that. I told him if he is not thinking about being serious and getting married I want him to leave me alone. I also have to understand his part. He knows I want at least one child but I have to be able to live on my own first. Its complicated because I take care of my elderly parents. Being an only child with that responsibility makes it difficult to live your own life. I just graduated too so now I’m about to get my license so I can get a well decent and stable job. So until then I’m going to have to be patient.
Do a comment ceremony if he don’t wanna merry yet .
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I was with mine 13 years before we married
This sounds just like my story. Together in high school, 7 years no ring. I just had an honest conversation with him about what we both wanted and got a ring the next day (last minute purchase lol, he had not been planning it). And ignore everyone saying you’re too young or young people shouldn’t get married. That’s THEIR path. Not yours. Some people/couples are ready for marriage. Some aren’t. There are couples that married at your age or before that have been together 50 years, and some that only stay together 5 or 10. We never know what the future holds. Yes, it’s important to learn and grow together, but as people, we never really stop learning or growing. People married after 30 or even later still get divorced because they’ve changed.
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Marriage is a big deal to a lot of women. It’s not necessarily the same for men. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love or adore you. And if he feels too pressured it might make him to scared to do it at all.
He needs to feel like it is his idea
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You ask him ! If you want the paper so much, ask him to marry you and get him a ring.
Women nake such a huge deal out of marriage but refuse to ask the dude. If he says no, you have your answer. If he says yes, start planning the wedding.
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Do yall have any kids?
Idk ask mine lol… we have kids together and everything…
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Reverse the gender norm, buy him a ring and go out if your way to make a romantic proposal. If he turns you down it wasn’t meant to be. Society has everything flipped on its head he may think it’s too old fashioned and unnecessary to get the government involved lol
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I hot together either my husband at 16. He wouldn’t propose until we were older, had a house, jobs. He said he wanted his ducks in a row, he wanted to be a provider first. He didn’t propose until 7 years of dating. But once we had those things in order he proposed within that year. And we have been together for 25 years now, two children. People saying he doesn’t want to marry you may be the case but it may not be too. Talk to him, ask him about marriage if it’s something he wants and values? If so than you can talk about what it is he wants to get married, abd explain your feelings on it. So you both know where you stand. I know it feels like oh he must not love me, I was there and contemplated that too. But it wasn’t that at all, fir him it was he wanted to be a man and provide for both of us. Not feel like he was a child getting married. He wanted to be taken seriously and our marriage to be seen as serious too. We are best friends and I couldn’t imagine being without him. So have the hard discussion, talk about all the things children, parenting style, religion, goals, dreams, roles in the marriage like who does the cleaning and grass cutting grocery shopping etc…because there’s a lot more than I just want to be his wife to marriage. Lots get married without these discussions only to regret their partner doesn’t want kids or have unrealistic expectations. Don’t say you will do everything like the cleaning, laundry, errands etc only to get married than be miserable too because it’s not what you want or fair. Do think than talk to him and see where his head is at. Are his parents together or separated? That plays a role he could be scared of divorce if he got married. So talk but also set boundaries and expectations. If you want to be married than te him this is something I expect, I also expect or want kids in x amount of years. You both may get on the same page or you won’t. But with the boundaries and things set out what you both value and want than you know ok it’s time to leave and find someone new or wait longer. But it’s your life and it’s his life so you both have to do what makes you happy.
Well maybe the idea of proposing and it all makes him uncomfortable. I would suggest just proposing to him, but be prepared. If he actually doesn’t want to get married he may say no then you have to decide what to do with that relationship. You would have to decide whether to leave him or not.
But I don’t feel like telling him he has to do it or giving him an ultimatum would be a good way to start a marriage. And many couples stay together forever without ever being married. To me it’s just a piece of paper. Do you live in a state that has common law marriage? Would you settle for something like a civil union or domestic partnership kind of paperwork?
Do you want the whole big wedding to do type thing or are you wanting the marriage to signify a strong relationship and being bonded?
I think it would help to figure out what it is about marriage you are looking for. And then propose to him. Tell him what you want whether it’s a big wedding and huge event or whether it’s just that marriage certificate. Maybe your boyfriend is intimidated by the idea of a big wedding and the expenses that come with it? If that’s the case maybe you could suggest something small like a justice of the peace and small private ceremony or a trip to your local courthouse.
In my opinion, paper doesn’t mean squat! Except for that it means I’ve had to pay soon much taxes since I got married!!! 8m in my 2nd… We’ve been together 12,married 11… If it wasn’t for I’m his first I would never have got married… just a loooong engagement… If the ring means that much to you, tell him, he can buy you a ring and just stay engaged… If you want to take his last name just make it your own, if he’s okay with that you’re allowed to change your last name lately or just 8sing it… Don’t force, makes it worse
I’m 35 and have been with my boyfriend for 9 years. We’re about to buy a house together and everything. We’re completely happy just the way we are. A marriage certificate is just a piece of paper. My Uncle was with my Aunt for 12 or 13 years before they got married.
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Before entering a serious relationship both parties should make it known on what their deal breakers are. Such as stance on children, stance on marriage, what roles they plan to have and what responsibilities they will share or how they want to divide things up (compromise can of course happen,things could change) but it is good to know where each other stand and boundaries.
That said a big part of the relationship is communicating. Sit him down and talk to him about his stance on the matter, let him know how you are feeling, and see what he wants to do from there. If you do not want to wait more years, let him know that. Let him know you feel the next step is needed. If he isn’t willing to marry you, then DO NOT DO WIFEY stuff for a boyfriend. If he won’t step forward, you step back.
Girl leave I bet you gonna find someone who does so much more for you including making you a wife
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If you’re in love a ring doesn’t matter just keep livin dudette
If marriage is that important to you, you need to have a really honest conversation about your expectations of your future and ask him what his are. You’ll either figure it out, or you’ll find you are on different paths in life…you need to figure this out together because obviously ignoring it is making you feel some kind of way and you both deserve to know where you stand.
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A man knows If he wants to marry a woman , if it’s been this long he doesn’t want to marry you, simply keeping you until he meets the one , doesn’t mean he doesn’t care for you but not in a way to marry you .
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He prob just not ready for it. Ye are only 24. He might want to have a stable life for you and him before he asks you. Give it time.
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If you live together, you’re basically already a wife. Why do you need a piece of paper to tell you that? Does he treat you right? Is he loving, caring,? If you’re happy why would you leave?? That sounds ridiculous. Why push for something that doesn’t change much of anything, except your last name and honestly you can go to the courthouse and change that 
… Marriage is not what it’s made up to be.
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You are young, you’ve grown up together. I got married too young, and I wish I didn’t. I matured, and we had totally different ideals. It ended in divorce 14 years later. He should know by now if he wants to get married or not. If you don’t have the same future goals, you might want to think about your relationship. He may never want to get married and have kids and the house. You need to ask him straight up what he wants for his future, and to be honest. Don’t let him string you along, because you will be in the same situation that you are right now, and you will be very unhappy and unfulfilled. You need to tell him what your life goals are and see if you two are on the same page.
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Let him know what you want and where you stand, take it or leave it. After that talk, cut him off, meaning no sex, no expectations of anything you would do for him as a wife and not as a girlfriend. Hopefully you aren’t living with him and/or have kids with him already b/c if so, that doesn’t leave you a leg to stand on and this won’t work. Delineate you as a girlfriend with no additional commitments and you as a wife to him in your head, and then draw the line and don’t cross it for anything until you get a ring. And then look forward to a nice looooooong engagement. 
If his own parents are divorced, that may be holding him up too. They usually have a fairly good reason, but if he doesn’t have such a reason, can’t explain it to you, or you are accepting things in your life that you shouldn’t have to accept and don’t want, then walk away.
Why buy the cow when the milk is free
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If it isn’t broke, dont fix it!! 8 yrs says its not broke
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He won’t marry you if he gets wifey stuff for free… But essentially you just need to have an actual conversation with him… Be blunt. And I am 33 and never been married. Was with my childrens father 12 years, engaged and never married. We grew apart and he started being someone I couldn’t get along with. Then I met my most recent ex and was with him 3 years. Still the same scenario, and selfishness… I have met my now fiance a year ago and we already have a date set for this october… You do NOT tho, have to be married to be happy. My best friend has been with her many 10 year and have 2 kids together and plan on NEVER being married ever.
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Not everyone agrees with marriage, have a conversation with him. No difference between common law and legal marriage besides a piece of paper.
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Not everyone wants to get married.
I am curious how old the boyfriend is and if he spends more time out and about without her with his interests and friends. Also, she is actually still young.
You need to talk to him about it. Not giving him an ultimatum. Just ask what is going on in his head. If marriage is something he wants at all. If so then if he sees a future with you. Then tell him where your head is at. He needs to give you that conversation but without you getting emotional and pressuring him. He’s right though … you’re young. Maybe he’s really being honest with that. It may seem harmless to be engaged and seem like that’s just a promise but when you’re engaged people start asking when you’re getting married and pressuring you. Maybe he’s just enjoying life with you how it is. Or maybe he’s figuring out who he is and his life and doesn’t know if he even wants the path of marriage.
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Have you not talked about what you both want for your futures? If not, this would be a good time to start. I understand that you both were minors when you first started dating; but you are now into adulthood, so start having discussions and decide if it’s time to move on
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You need to talk to him about it. Not giving him an ultimatum. Just ask what is going on in his head. If marriage is something he wants at all. If so then if he sees a future with you. Then tell him where your head is at. He needs to give you that conversation but without you getting emotional and pressuring him. He’s right though … you’re young. Maybe he’s really being honest with that. It may seem harmless to be engaged and seem like that’s just a promise but when you’re engaged people start asking when you’re getting married and pressuring you. Maybe he’s just enjoying life with you how it is. Or maybe he’s figuring out who he is and his life and doesn’t know if he even wants the path of marriage.
My husband and I were together 7 almost 8 years before we got married… And I was 31 when we did… SOOOOOO, I’m not sure what my advice would be. Either you love him and want to be with him or you don’t
It is ultimatum time …you are being used. I hope you do not have children.
This is 1 more reason not to Shack Up.
Like Steve Harvey says “you haven’t made it a requirement”. If you haven’t made it clear that you require that in your relationship then why would he?
Marriage at your age is overrated. Don’t rush it, you have the rest of your life
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Have a conversation about it. See what he is feeling about marriage and if he sees a future with you.
My bf and I have been together for 7 years, we have had that conversation a few times, we both know we want marriage with each other just certain things we want to happen before we take that step.
Too much emphasis on the ring and wife title. I mean I get it…but you also have to look at the world we live in… if he is a good man and your only issue is that ring and title…don’t be stupid. A dirtbag could give you a ring and the wife title. Be careful what you wish for…
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He is young. Sorry for who this offends but men don’t mature until…. Later. Much much later. He may be scared. Ask him questions. Like does he want a prenup. Does he want kids. Get a feeling for it. Maybe he just doesn’t want the big Cinderella wedding. Talk about doing small back yard wedding. Bring some of the stress off of it. If you have exhausted all ideas and still nothing. Maybe he wants to get you a ring he can’t afford just now. Maybe his underwear are too tight and he can’t think strait. Seriously. Give him a chance if that is where you find your forever.
My boyfriend and I just celebrated 10 years dating, still no ring lol one day!
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Maybe since you’ve been together since you were both young, he hasn’t had a chance to date around and is worried about making a mistake.
Tell him you’d like to get married but ask him to be truthful with you and if he’s worried about that? Y’all may need some time apart so he can figure out what he wants.
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Just be aware that if you give him an ultimatum he might just get married to make you happy. I was with my ex husband for 10 years, gave him the ultimatum, we got married, and he cheated and moved in with that person less than a year later
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10 years for me …
Are you happy & content?
Is he happy & content?
Until everyone else starts butting in ?
Your still young uve got ur whole life ahead of you to worry about getting married … do what makes you happy don’t worry about what anyone else says about it being a long time to date as toing as ur happy and love him that’s all that matters
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I’m with my partner over 11 and not married we are engaged but we’re not bothered my parents aren’t married either and they’re together 31
You live like a married couple. Dont let the ring and paperwork be your focus.
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Don’t walk, but run out that door.
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You’re not entitled to anything
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It took my man 9 years to put a ring on it. I told him from day one that I will not just be a girlfriend forever… were 6 years apart with 2 kids… still not married but doesn’t bother me
Live your life. My husband and I waited till our 30s to get married. We lived life. Had fun. We knew we were committed to each other but we wanted to spend our money doing life first. In our 30s we just said it’s about time and planned a wedding. Tuesday we were married for 8 years and are happy. Now we do life with our children included.
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Bc he doesn’t want commitment
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I love you so much . You are my best friend, my partner in this life my wonderful beautiful baby Trudy Champagne
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Youre both young. But if its worrying you so much sit him down and talk about your feelings
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Got with my now husband when I was 17. I am now 32. We just got married last April… no need to rush. Thats why so many marriages fail is because they are married within a year and neither of them actually really knows the other one. Enjoy it for what it is. You are young.
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It’s just a piece of paper honestly and if u guys decide later in life y’all don’t want to be together a divorce costs money it’s not free. You already doing what married couples are doing so
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Ive been with my boyfriend 8 years and either of us want to get married its something we have both been open about and talked about several times. Being a wife is just a title. There is much more to a person than being a husband/wife or mum/dad. Im not treated differently because im not his wife. If it bothers you that much try and bring it up, be prepared he might not see a big issue in it and got give you the answer youre looking for xx
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Wait until after your 25 and if there’s still no talk of it, maybe then bring it up again. Maybe it’s not as important to him as it is to you. Shit, maybe even wait until you’re 30, I’m sorry but the part where he says you’re too young yet is right. Even so, I also understand where you’re coming from but it still would be wise to wait still. Even having babies a little bit older is a better idea as well in my opinion, usually after 30 you’re more established and hopefully won’t have to struggle to make sure your babies have all they need if that’s what you want. Either way, instead of trying to push him into it, just talk to him and find out his views.
Don’t rush it. I got married at 18. He wanted marriage I didn’t care for it to me it was just a piece of paper and I made mistakes. I am still married to the same guy for 17 yrs this month I couldn’t be happier but I feel if i would have waited till I was ready maybe the mistakes wouldn’t have happened. Ask him if he sees you guys getting married in the future that you do want to be married and he can’t give that you don’t want to waste his time.
Me and my girlfriend we’re engaged we’re not married but I call her my wife she calls me her husband so it don’t matter as long as you two are happy
A ring, a piece of paper, a ceromony…none of this really matters honestly. Either the relationship is good or its not. Period. Honestly I’ve found most people fall into the trap of trying to make their relationship fit into the tiny box society says is what is expected once they sign those papers and they end up screwing up what used to be a great relationship. Stop listening to the masses that ask you to try to force what society thinks is supposed to be correct. Lean into your relationship as it really is, let it grow into the unique relationship that suits you two best until it has its own life and it no longer matters if you are married or not and societies claims to how it should be are nothing more than blurred background noise that you can’t make out what it is and then if you both so choose…go for it. Otherwise you’re more likely to become yet another divorce statistic. Step out of that toxic cycle that has been far too long ingrained into people’s heads as what is expected from society.
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If he hasn’t asked, he’s not going to. Everyone saying it’s just a piece of paper don’t realize how important it is. If something should happen to either of you, you have legal rights otherwise family can step in and take everything you’ve worked for.
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