If this is the only bad thing in the relationship, I wouldn’t say scrap the relationship over it.
But after 8 years, you should know if you’re with THE ONE:sparkles: or not. 
I have a friend that got engaged on her 16th birthday but they didn’t marry until late 20s because they wanted to experience life together first. Maybe he’s just giving it time and doesn’t wanna talk about it for fear of getting your hopes up if he’s not ready yet
Apparently he doesn’t want to get married. Take the hint.
Because he doesn’t want to. Some guys are like that.
He may leave and marry a girl within 2 months… life goes on…
Get out before it’s to late it will hurt a whiile but he may also decide he wants you back
Me and my hubby just got married last August and celebrated our 15th year anniversary in February. We’re also high school sweethearts with two kids. As long as he treats you right that’s all that matters don’t let people tell you he don’t love you just because you’re not married some people just need more time.
I suggest you talk to him and tell him you want to be a wife and mother and if he is not interested in being a husband and father then you need break up so you can each find what you want.
I was with my hubby 15 years before we got married as long as your happy it shouldn’t matter but maybe y’all should really talk about it some people just don’t want that
Well… he either 1. Doesn’t wanna marry you, or 2 He’s gotten so used to you being around he doesn’t even care anymore you’re basically married at this point already
Why buy the cow when you get free milk old saying but true
Since “we” don’t know you, and you have no clue why he hasn’t asked you, maybe you should have that conversation with him. Obviously he knows you better than we.
I told my boyfriend that I’m not a forever girlfriend.
He had to choose, either we move forward in our relationship and get engaged. Or he’d have to let me go, so I can go find someone who wants to be with me forever by marrying me.
So now we’re getting married.
When I start dating my husband now, he didn’t propose to me until 6 years of dating. But I told him that I’m not no play girl, I want a family. I also said if that’s not what you want then you need to leave and stop stringing me and my daughter around. I also told him I was going to leave him if he doesn’t figure out what the heck he wants. He must of not wanted me to leave.
Tell him to shit or get off the pot!
My man and I have been together for 5 years. He technically asked me to marry him, but he didn’t have to. We call ourselves husband and wife without the piece of paper.
You just need to sit down and talk to him. Have a serious conversation on maybe WHY he wants to wait. You need to try and understand his side too. Yall are young and maybe he’s just waiting on the perfect time (vacation, the money to buy the perfect ring, permission from your parent(s), ect.)
I was with my hubby for 12 years before we finally got married but I feel we were already married the ring just made it official
Listen!! To what he is saying without saying it. . If he told you he doesn’t want to get married then he doesn’t want to get married. If he is clearly communicating this then listen and stop trying to change someone. It’s that simple. If you aren’t clear then sit down and ask him. Have an open and honest conversation with no distractions it may not be what you want to hear but then you can make a decision on what to do and if that is what you want.
Because he’s already had you and continues to have you.
Time doesn’t determine anything. Idk why y’all women expect a ring is gonna make a huge difference…
Marriage is the commitment that my husband and I made because we realized our love was something rare that we both wanted recognized in every way including legally and spiritually. We dated 3 years prior to making the commitment and have been married 33 years and together 36 years. We are still happy and very best friends.
I’d leave he told you he didn’t want to get married and why wait 8 years for a ring ? I’d lay it out like “I want to be a wife and a mother I’m not gonna pressure you but I need to know if we even want the same things and when you want them” it’s been 8 years so he should be more than comfortable to have this talk. If he doesn’t say what you want to hear maybe it’s time to look to separate. By this time next year you could be with an amazing man who wants the same things you want
I don’t see what the rush is! I’ve been with my other half 7 years and we’re not married yet , but we have 4 beautiful children together and are happy. I don’t get what all the fuss is about trying to pressure someone into marriage when it may not be what the other person wants due to personal preferences or how they have grown up, maybe he has seen relationships/marriages fail around him since they have got married and doesn’t want that to happen to you two
If you want marriage, which you should ,you should find another man. The guy your with sounds completely happy just being your boyfriend.you can’t change other people.dont waste your life on him thinking he might change.
You know……I used to think the way you’re thinking right now. Hubby and I have been together 12.5 years and have 3 kids and no engagement ring. And to be perfectly honest? We are happy. People over pay for one day and rings and a piece of paper. I am not even sure I would get married if he asked. If he purposes I’d say yes, but….would probably wind up being engaged for the rest of our lives. And honestly that’s ok. The marriages I see falling apart lately? Why chance it? We have been happy for 12.5 years, of course we have the typical ups and downs of a relationship, but that’s expected married or not. Marriage just isn’t that important anymore. I see a lot of people who’ve been together for ages and then get married but are divorced 1-2 years later. Marriage for whatever reason changes people and their expectations on what marriage really is. You have to really think about if you want to get married just to blow a shit load of money and try and impress family and friends? Or if you are just looking for things to be “official”. Maybe he’s got different feelings on what your day or life looks like. Are you being unreasonable and unrealistic about the things you want, that may not be important? Have you talked to him about it and actually considered his thoughts and feelings on it? I know for my hubby he feels the same that, “why ruin the good thing that we have now?” “I don’t need to buy a piece of paper to show you I love you.” And he is right! I used to think like you, and I used to push it on him…which isn’t ok. You can’t push something on someone. Maybe he’s against marriage and it doesn’t change how much he loves you, he just doesn’t see a point in spending a shit load of money on one day. Weddings are way over commercialized and cost as much as buying a house these days…or more…it’s insane.
I been with mine going on 16 years. Not everyone needs the ceremony and to sign the paper. If you want to be together and plan to stay together that should be enough. He still got me a ring.
Don’t listen to the “it’s just a title/piece of paper” people Don’t let anyone, including him, deter you from your desire to be a wife. Maybe try a discussion on what it is he feels that he needs more time to do. Explain to him that you feel like your time is being wasted. If he loves you and is genuinely all in, what’s his hold up ? If it’s something he doesn’t want, he needs to say so, so that you can find someone else on the same wave as you. While you’re young is the time to sort this out and be upfront with these things. Time flies fast. You don’t wanna turn around and be 35, still not being the wife you wanted to be.
I did 7 years with an ex that found every reason on earth not to marry me as well… And I didn’t want to leave cause I didn’t want to waste 7 years of my life (who would want an almost 30 single mother of 4 kids, 2 with that ex + 2 with an ex husband)
Good thing me and that last ex didn’t work out though…
One day I met the man of my dreams, and we were married only 5 months after we met.
When his family asked him why he was never interested in marriage or kids before me… (not even his ex of 5 years) And asked him why all the labels and symbology suddenly mean so much to him after he meets this mysterious woman 6 years older than him with 4 kids…
He said that he WASN’T interested in any of that with anyone else, and even when he was genuinely waiting for it to feel right - it just never did. But when he met me: he felt like he could have anything with me and wanted to give me the world, and he just found himself wanting EVERYTHING with me that we could ever possibly have. A wedding, marriage, to be a father, ALL of it!!!
And years later (+ baby no.5) we’re still crazy head over heels in love with each other! He still opens the car door for me, sings me songs on his guitar, writes me poetry, buys me flowers, we still flirt and tease each other like mad! He’s SO proud to call me his wifey like I’m actually something special and he STILL brags about me as if we’re still in those first few months of that dating phase.
You can’t make or convince a man to be ready for marriage (or kids): EVER.
Not after 7/8+ years of waiting, and not even after a baby (or 4)…
They’ll either find it in their own time or they never will.
You can just accept that and hope for something that may never come…
Or if it’s something you know you want for yourself, then you can let him go and find someone that feels the same way about marriage that you do.
Girl stop wasting your time and life waiting for what you may never receive. If you want to get married and you’ve made it known, I say 8yrs is enough time to wait. Stop listening to the people who think marriage is “just a piece of paper!” Shit gets real real when there’s a medical emergency and you have no say!
Or if y’all squire assets together, he passes and his family takes all. A will can be contested in court for a girlfriend not a wife. Don’t be stupid in love.
Discuss it… don’t give him an out on the discussion. Tell him this is a discussion that is important and needs to be had. If he refuses… take that as your answer. Be prepared before sitting him down and have all your questions ready.
Marriage isn’t for everyone. You could get married and end up getting a divorce. Me and my SO have been together for over 13 years, known each other since our 20’s, and even dated for a year back then too, and went our seperate ways for a bit. We have a 7 year old son together. I’d love to get married and have the same name as our son, but we are happy with how our relationship is now. I’m referred to as his wife in his family so that alone means so much to me! We’re happy with what we got, and we don’t need a piece of paper telling us that!!
Men know what they want in the first 2 weeks of being with someone. If you want to get married and he doesn’t, he’s already given you his answer. You can either continue to waste your time with him or start over and find someone who genuinely wants marriage and all the good things that come with it.
I always said to my hubby if we weren’t married after 10 years I was gone lol always said it when we got together like u I was 16 when I met him he was 21 … we got engaged after 5 years I had completely forgot my saying but he didn’t we were together 10 years in September 2020 and we got married in November 2020 mid pandemic and that was his statement at the alter … every man is different maybe chat and actually ask him where he sees in going be serious and that way u will no by his reactions or what not … don’t have him thinking ur gone straight away if no ring cus That’s pressure witch is nearly worse but make it clear where ur at in ur life
You need to ask yourself how the relationship is does he respect you does he care about you if the answer to every one of those questions is no then move on
Why don’t you try inspiring him to marry you instead of issuing him an ultimatum? Have you ever thought about giving him so much oral sex he says “please marry me”?
Personally i would say if we earned married by year 10 I have to leave. I wouldn’t demand a ring or a bug wedding going to the courthouse is just fine but being married does give you privileges and rights that being a girlfriend don’t have.
Marriage is nothing but a legal piece of paper!!!
If it’s that important to you, have a talk with him. Tell him your desires and find out what his are. On the other hand, if it’s just about the ring and title for you, then don’t. Have an honest moment with yourself and see if that it or if it’s something you truly want. And being mid 20s, he’s not wrong. You’re still young. No need to rush. I didn’t get married until I was 28 and I now think that was quite young. Bottom line, look I side yourself and decide if that’s what you really want, and whatever your answer, either talk with him or don’t. Good luck, doll.
Hey if the relationship is good, then don’t force the idea of marriage. If he’s committed to you then why does it matter. I’m divorced and I’m almost 30 the divorce cost me a lot and I gave him everything I didn’t care. I wish we had never gotten married it would have been easier. And now I never wanna do it again. Your young enjoy the relationship let him be ready if he wants to get married he will ask.
I would sit him down and calmly tell him that this is something you will not compromise on. Let him know you are ready for the next level in your relationship/life and you need to know if he is too. Tell him you’ve waited 8 years and you aren’t giving him an ultimatum you are letting him know that this is something you won’t compromise on…and if he doesn’t feel ready for the next stage you need to know. If he isn’t ready YOU have decisions to make. I was in a relationship like that. (This is a shared account) 5 years not 8… High school sweethearts whole 9. He just wasn’t ready for that or anything leading up to it…so I left. Shortly after I met my husband, and I am so grateful I left…we got married a little less then 2 years later after we started dating. No regrets
Sounds like you want to be a bride and not a wife
Maybe he just think why get married when we are happy the way we are .I’m 71most people don’t bother getting married anymore and I actually agree with them .I don’t think u need to anymore not unless you both really want too
I think you need to sit down and discuss it. Sometimes a man will never if you don’t give that ultimatum
A man knows who he wants to marry or else.
At 24 you have your whole life find another guy that will dream of having you as a wife.
Omg all these comments saying “leave” are crazy. If she really must have a wedding to be happy, fine but she said she’s happy. It’s not really 8 years of an adult relationship they were 16, getting married young is so overrated and high school sweethearts usually end up divorced. Marriage is a piece of paper and is harder to get out of than into. If you have a good relationship, why is marriage necessary in mid-twenties??? Social pressure at its finest.
Normally I would agree with those on here who say it’s because he doesn’t want to marry you and probably never will after 8yrs (if ya’ll were 30,40+). BUT u said 1 of his reasons is ya’ll are still young and you are. I was married 20yrs and when I was 38 we separated and divorced which blew people close to us minds wanting to know why, the answer to why? We were young when we fell in love married and started a family we grew into adulthood together and at some point in that 20yrs we started to grow apart different views of the world and interests and ideas about the direction of our lives. So maybe it really is bcuz he feels ya’ll are still to young I would sit down and talk about it put everything on the table and discuss it best of luck.
My advice would be to try to really get him to explain why he doesn’t want to. From my experience (I met my fiance at 18, we had our kids right after, I’m 33 now and we just got engaged 2 years ago) it can take guys alot longer to mature and marriage for some can seem very scary. Now, I’m not saying that it’s an excuse but, it is reality. I know being with mine at such a young age and for so long now that even though I did want to get married, we really had to grow up together and when the right time came it happened. If it’s that important to you, are you willing to lose the relationship for it? If you are I would figure that our and move on otherwise take some more time and enjoy each other
He doesn’t need to propose. He gets everything he wants without marrying you. Alter that.
Why on earth would you want to get married. Most marriages end in divorce anyhow. It’s cheaper to shack up then take the plunge. I know I was married twice and if I had stayed married to my first husband it would have been 29 years. Yes I’m engaged after being with him for 5 years. No wedding date in site. I think he just put the ring on my finger to shut me up. He says once he builds his mustang the way he wants so it can be in our wedding photos and we can ride into the sunset. With money we don’t have it may take several years by then I will be a senior citizen and one foot in the grave. Getting married at a young age what’s the hurry. My future brother in law got married cause she was pregnant and then they separated. Got back together cause it’s cheaper to stay together. If he only knew
Take the pressure off. Maybe he’s digging his heels in because everyone is mentioning it. And maybe he just wants it to come out of the blue, rather than just after someone has a dig about it.
You were a child when you got with him and you’re still a child. If you’re happy what’s a ring mean? If you’re unhappy, go find new adventures. I can’t get over the “we’ve been together 8 years” as if that means something. Teenage relationships don’t have anything on adult ones in terms of even life stress and responsibility.
Break up with him , it will get his attention and he will propose or he will let you go and you will find a man more deserving.
Sit down together and discuss the pros and cons of marriage. Maybe then he’ll tell you why.
He isn’t going to ask because you have left him use you for so many years. Way to long. Bye bye.
You’re 24. Quit rushing it
Why TF is everyone always so pressed on the WhY bUy ThE cOw WhEn YoU gEt ThE mIlK fOr FrEe. Uhhh if you’re not doing wifey things without the ring, I promise you’re not gonna do wifey things WITH the ring and don’t deserve one. Hose don’t get rings, wifey material do.
Dump him. Have you never listened to Steve Harvey. Get his book
If you’re 24 then your frontal lobe literally just got done forming itself. Chill out it’s really not that bad
Some people just don’t want to be married? Maybe it’s not something he’s interested in?
Your only 24? Been with him 8 years? Girl you have no idea what is even out there. Hopefully he treats you right. But if a man hasn’t proposed yet or even have you a ring, he never will.
I’ve been with mine 20 and he’s proposed 3x we just never got married. Marriage is a piece of paper.
marriage is just a piece of paper….it takes love and commitment
He doesn’t want to marry you.
My husband waited until I was 33 to say we can get married. We been together 14 yrs. He wasn’t ready because I was going through a lot bad stuff and I had to prove that I could change. Which I did. So we got married in 2018 . He is my best friend and I’m glad I waited until I was mature enough to really understand what it takes in a marriage. I would just sit down and ask him what his goals are with marriage.
Everyone is so concerned about marriage and it really is sad. You ARE young. You are very young. Think about how much you’ve both changed in those 8 years. Idk what might be going know in your life now, but maybe he just wants everything to be more established. Marriage is a big commitment because nobody wants to get divorced. It’s your call though, if you want to get married that badly, you need to have a sit down conversation with him and base it from there. Maybe it’s time to move on, maybe he’ll see that he may lose you and make the move
Everyone around you needs to mind their own business and stop pressuring the matter.
You may feel like you’re ready, but have you ever stop to think about or really try to communicate how he feels on the matter?
Don’t be that person who uses ultimatums.
Evaluate your life , wants, and needs.
If you feel like your wasting your life move on.
But if you are in a stable relationship and everything is great, do you really need a piece of paper to define your relationship?
If you’re happy, really happy. That’s all that matters. A piece of paper won’t make it better or worse.
I think you should sit down and discuss your goals, what your plans are together and separately, start small like what one year looks like, then maybe 2 years….you will understand better where his mind set is and if your feelings and thoughts about the future are matching up.
Then take some time to process it and decide what you want based on the answers you get…. Or based on zero answers. You don’t need an engagement or a ring tomorrow, but you need to know that’s on the table.
Your boyfriend hasn’t asked you because you haven’t required it of him. That is a long time, time you can’t get back. Have a talk with him and express your feelings. If he truly loves you, he will fill the requirement. YOU ARE WORTH IT. Good luck.
He doesn’t want to marry you. Period.
My husband had been in TWO very long relationships and both of them pushed marriage, wanted marriage, etc. and he had ZERO intentions of marrying them. He knew it, and they never got married. He presumed he didn’t want to marry ever. and went about his life as a single man. When he met me, BOOM! He knew i was the ONE the day we met. we got married after 4 months and would have married sooner but we lived 3 hours apart at the time we met. (that wa 5 years ago)…
SO i say all of that to say, he doesn’t want to marry you as much as it hurts. It’s not saying there’s anything wrong with you… just you aren’t the one he wants to spend forever binded to.
I could never be with someone who takes that long I always told guys in the talking stage if it takes longer then 2 years we will break up cause a man should know with in 6 months if he wants to marry you or not or if he even has plans to marry you… I got with my fiancé in August we moved in together in September got engaged in December and getting married this month (June) some men know and some don’t me personally I wouldn’t want to be with someone who takes that long but some people prefer to take forever and some never want to get married and then there’s people like me who want marriage
Ask him and not the WWW
Honestly marriage is just a formality. My husband and I were together five years with no intention of marriage. Until my mom cracked a joke about when the wedding was, we went along with her joke picking a day next thing we know my mom set us up a wedding Three months later. We’ve been married since 2016 the only thing that’s changed is my last night. Marriage doesn’t mean anything when you love each other enough. Don’t stress it.
I’m sorry but . He could of proposed already and just had a long engagement. If his reason is to wait. He could of put a ring on ya way before this . Sounds like he just doesn’t want to do the marriage thing . I’m sorry hun but you deserve someone who wants to show the world and you he’s in it for forever
Best wishes
How does a piece of paper and a ring make a relationship different? You guys are together. You love each other and are committed to one another. It’s the same thing but without an expensive ring on your finger and a legal piece of paper saying you are bound to one another
That’s because he doesn’t want to . A man knows within 6 months if he wants to marry you. Time ain’t sh*t
Well, honestly my husband was the same way, it just takes time. He will ask if, and, or when he is ready to. Just love the guy for now, if he doesn’t ask you in the next few years, why not ask him? Idk
You have to decide what you want. If it’s been 8 years and he won’t even discuss proposing he’s not going to anytime soon or ever. If you are fine not being married then stay. If you really want be married then leave and find someone who has the same goal. No one else can help you because it really comes down to what is important to you.
I was with someone for almost 6 years, no proper proposal. It was always “it’s just a peice of paper.” It wasn’t to me! I left because I felt the relationship would never evolve from what it was. Within 6 months I was married to my current husband, very shocking I know. 4 years later, I’m still happily married to my husband & we have 2 beautiful kids. It was quick, but we knew what we wanted. Just so yall know, we’ve been friends since we were young children & dated while in high school. So I didn’t marry a stranger I’m not saying you’ll meet someone right off the bat, but you might gain some independence, reflect on what you want, or even give another man/woman a chance to provide what he wont/can’t for you.
I was with my husband 8 years before we married and we had a 6 year old son the day we married and i had two boys when we met.
My daughter went through this and they ended up separating but it only took a few months to realize no one else made them happy and now they are married and happy as can be.
No rush to getting married. Lol
Younger adults like you, aren’t getting married these because of older generations and what they’ve been through! I’m 32 and never married, been engaged a few times. Engaged again but for 5 years now. Marriage can make things harder depends on the couple and their life circumstances. Need a life to start with, stable income and stable and loving household with or with out kids. Again there is no rush to being married.
Also one of my brothers(28) has been with his gf for like 9 years now and they have no kids and not married. Do they want those things in life yes but they never rushed it or it’s just not the right time.
I would just tell him look…being a wife matters to me. I don’t want to just be the live in girlfriend. i don’t agree it can’t ever happen just bc it been awhile. My ex took 7 years to propose, almost 2 to to marry. To which we divorced a year later but….that’s another story
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It sounds like you are wasting your time. He sounds complacent, while you are unhappy about the situation. I can’t stand when people do that to the person they are supposed to love. They’ll go on unbothered, uncaring about how it is affecting their partner. You are grown and know what you want for your life. Don’t let people pressure you to stay in a relationship that is going nowhere. You could try to talk to him about how important marriage is to you, and being husband and wife one day. If it’s just not important to him, take a break to figure things out…My husband and I got married after 3 years together. I was 23 and he was 25. We just celebrated our 13th anniversary.
I asked my husband to marry me. We waited a decade and I finally was like will you marry me and now we have been married over 5 years together almost 16. If he is the one you will wait no matter how long it takes.
Its because you ain’t the one…if he wanted to he would
Who will there’s the old saying if you’re getting the milk why buy the cow still holds true to some guys
run and find someone else
I was with my now husband for seven ish years plus a baby before he proposed, then we were engaged for five years before eloping. Now married three years with a house n x2 doggos. If it’s forever and your happy why the rush? Everyone does things in their own time. Don’t let the society pressures make you feel like it’s one way or it’s wrong. You guys do you. X
Wife is just a title. Do you really wanna push marriage on this man if he ain’t ready? Cause if it don’t work out, then you’re stuck going thru a divorce. 24 is young. That coming from a 26 year old wife with 5 kids. Imagine if he ain’t ready now, could be later but you push it on him now & then you lose him. If y’all are happy, things are good, then let them be. He’ll propose when he’s ready. I understand you wanna be a wife, maybe talk to him, see where he stands with the idea of marriage then go from there
I myself know I am wifey material but I don’t ever see myself physically getting married. Some people really just don’t wanna go through that. We don’t love our partners any less we just feel like a paper doesn’t justify who we are, and it most certainly will never justify my relationship with my partner.
I’m not one to give advice here. We got engaged in 6 months and were married in 10 months. Ages 19 and 20. We have been very happily married 55 years.
Marriage needs to be ordained by God. What are your beliefs and his? Talk to God and ask for His guidance.
Think on these things and whatever the Lord brings to mind…
Does he tell you he loves you daily?
Does he treat you with love and respect?
Is he a provider?
Does he want children and do you?
What are your common interests?
Good luck and God bless you.
Marriage is literally just a paper and a rock. You don’t need those things to prove you love each other.
Being a wife may matter to you, but you are still young, you don’t need to rush. Trust me, talking from experience. Do not rush it, do not force him, talk to him, see where his views lie, if you try and rush him you could end up losing him. Communicating is key. A marriage should not change anything between you apart from being you closer, it’s the same as a bf/gf relationship only with marriage there is a formal legal piece of paper. He may not be ready. You may have been together for a long time but your both still young and he just may not be ready, but the key is to talk to him. You need to know where you stand and so does he.
Look for someone else. The guy doesn’t act like he wants to get married.
Awe Honey, don’t worry about it! Enjoy life together! Why do you need a ring and a piece of paper? My hubby and I have been together since high school, 1995. We are practically dinosaurs. I got a ring after like 10 years. We have 2 beautiful daughters aged 12, 10. We are not married and no plans to waste money on a wedding. Just be happy together, live life.
Jeeze you are young! 25! You have the rest of your life for marriage. Enjoy yourself.