Change the way you do things and take care of your kids. He is not your husband so stop treating him like one.
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Honey you waited too long. You should have been left.
You may very well be entitled by law to 50% of everything the two of you acquired over the years.
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You can also pop the question will you marry me.
My Dad had a saying that is so true: If you can get the milk free why buy the cow?"
Congratulations on a new beginning! Stay strong, it’s worth it! I’ve lived it.
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Oh honey good luck to you. I hope you find happiness again. I’m so proud of you for finally realizing you don’t want this life anymore. Go find someone that wants you for you not a care taker. Good luck sweetie.
You know in your heart that first you love him.
You know in your heart that he is the father of your Precious Children
You know in your heart you want to be with him by your side
Now, what happens if he becomes ill
Or Cannot Provide
If you are not Legally his Wife,
You cannot have any Benefits
Insurance Policy
Or Wages if he ever leaves you and the Children
You know in your Heart what you need to do to have security for you and your children
Have family and friends as well as Yourself Research what you need
It takes Courage
Way to straighten your 
remember that you can rule a kingdom too. I hope life is a journey that gives you and your kids the wonderful life you desire
Good for you. Don’t waste anymore time with someone who doesn’t make you happy and fulfilled. You and your kids deserve better.
You got this! You are strong! You are worthy! He’s gonna miss you when you’re gone!
Good for you! I hope you find happiness someday soon! You deserve it!
You go girl! Good for you. It won’t be easy so I hope you have a good support system.
Good for YOU, if he does not respect you enough to marry you, move on.
Congratulations, you have taken this first step to loving yourself.
Many blessings being sent your way! 
Good for you!!! Self worth is so important!
GOOD FOR YOU! Once you, and the kids get settled, find a lawyer and Demand Sole Custody, Child Support and Supervised Visits only.
I pray you find someone who makes you feel truly loved and maybe he will wake up once you are gone
Good for you chick!!! Happiness will happen when you’re out of the mundane!
Oh my god this sounds like something I could have exactly written myself. Good for you. 
Good for you! Life is too short to be unhappy!
Talk to each other!! If you can’t speak to your partner, you don’t have one.
this is heartbreaking in so many ways. but you need to put you in front for once a hard lesson I learned
There is her story,his story; the true story!
5 year engagement rule…YOU ARE OUT OF HERE!
I stayed for 10 years. You got this beautiful.
,Good for you! 12 years is long enough!
I think you’re considered common law married at this point.
Best of luck striking out on your own
Wow but look how SMART YOU ARE! You recognized it and you did something about it! You are completely right!
Good for you woman! 
You got this! 
Tell him he’s got a choice to marry you or you are leaving.
Just don’t be one of those mums who wont let him see hos kids if he wants too. Good on you for deciding this
Life to short to feel this way…start over
Kick him to the curb life is short
I wouldn’t have even got to the three kids.
Omg wow after 4 kids you are just now wondering???
Uhh what’s the big deal about getting a piece of paper saying your married??? I never realized that a marriage license was needed to validate a relationship.
Dr. Laura would say your on layaway!
No wonder…wby would he😮
You’re far from dumb. Each of our journey’s are different. My mother and I both have stayed in bad relationships for long periods of time. You’ve found yourself, I am proud of you!! You got this!!
First off, stop calling yourself dumb. You’re somebody who wants love and the same care as you give. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s called being human. I don’t blame you for leaving. You have the rest of your life to find somebody. Give yourself time to get your life settled.
You need to know you deserve more your children do to. Some men dont want marriage. Youve got to think about you and your kids. I lived with my boyfriend for 4 yrs. Marriage happened. Maybe too soon. But it worked out. My prayers
If you’re happy then stay bcuz THAT is what you want. If you want more for yourself, like marriage, go find your husband.
It takes strength to leave a dead end relationship, i pray for yours and your kids happy ever after…never settle for less, know your worth and you will do fine, God bless you and your kids and help you find what you are looking for.
Good decision, best of luck to you
Keep telling yourself YOU ARE WORTH IT AND, YOU DESERVE ONLY THE BEST!
I wish you the best. I pray you find thw happiness you and your kids need and deserve. Good luck and God bless.
Leave you deserve better hon
You were stupid to have kids with him.
Sydney Hope Compean this May be worth a read. Just from being an outsider looking in.
Hugs. You are doing the right thing. Good luck too you.
Good for you and bless you sweetie
If you have the money to move out that’s the best thing you can do for your soul. You have to save yourself in the end. I put up with 13 years of BS and now 4 years later he regrets and I’m HAPPY. Our daughter is much happier too.
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Glad you’re doing what makes you happy…try to remember this in the days to come. We tend to take what they do for granted as well…going to work is major…and if he believes that’s his job, you’re suppose to show him things he is neglecting…have y’all talked about getting married, as in did you tell him this was something you wanted to do? Sometimes they are legitimately slow
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I have been with my bf also 12 yrs and 1 child together. Same situation as u. I guess cause I’m so comfortable. I feel like we are married already just no ring or ceremony. I believe if u love someone and we are happy as we are, we do not need to be married. That is just my opinion. I’m very happy for you. I know alot of women nowadays believe in that kinda fairytale with the wedding and than kids. I don’t. Sometimes i think it gets more complicated. I wish you all the best of luck❤
Ignore the rude people on here. It takes enormous strength to do that! Best of luck! Happy birthday lady!!!
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I agree that you shouldn’t stay in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy anymore like to many men forgot once they got the women how they should cont to treat them on how they got them to begin with … nothing wrong with a man working but they shouldn’t forget the women who is working at home too with the home and the kids 
happy you left him and I hope the kids are with you too since you don’t want them to live that way
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Good luck. I did the same. You need to be with someone who values you
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So happy for you for sticking up for yourself! Stay strong, it wont be easy at first but you CAN get through it
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To this mystery mama, I’m oh so very proud of you. No matter what happens after, I’m proud of you in this moment, in this first step. You’ve found your own voice/worth. That’s something to be proud of. 
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Congrats n great for you. U will b so much happier. Single life is great especially after leaving that shit. Be proud of yourself.
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May u and your kids have blessed and happy life God’s richest blessings to you happy birthday for tomorrow hope u have an awesome day 
Just leave him, don’t tell him , let him come home and you be packed and gone!!!, Guarantee you will get that ring girl lol
You are a strong woman. Know your worth. Best of luck!
Update us in a week as I bet your back home
Also you didn’t mention the kids you taking them or leaving them behind???
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I feel this…i was in a bad relationship prior to the one I’m in now for almost ten yrs before I left his sorry ass. Now I’m facing it all over again and I have 2 kids this time…think one would learn 
Best of luck to ya!
I know been married 29 yr but he never changed so now wasted the best time of my life so now we’re getting a divorce and I should have done it sooner
Thoughts , move on if you plan on getting married … clearly he doesn’t .
Prayers for strength! You can do this!
Marriage won’t change the bad behavior or poor treatment.
Sorry you stayed so long. Hoping you find a good husband that will love you and your children .
Leave. It ain’t worth staying. You created a relationship in your head and the lie isn’t working anymore. Demand more or leave. 12 years is long enough to show you who he is. Believe it.
Good for you and very good luck!
Good for you … we deserve to be wanted and treated as such.
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Good for you! Be strong!
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43 yrs. know what your saying
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I went through something similar
Good for you! I know it’s stressful and it won’t always be easy. But you’ve got this!
Good luck little momma ,you and the kids deserve to be happy . Life is too short , you gave it your all !
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Why would you want to marry someone who treats you like that?
Sorry, but you made it to easy for him. Idk why we do that, but we do. We have to teach them from day 1 how to treat us. I wish you lots of love and happiness. You deserve it
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Marriage ain’t for everyone
This was my ex husband. We married quicky but ALL the same mindset. Let me say that again, EX husband. Some days are hard but its been the best thing for myself because now I DO get family vacas, family outtings, someone to cry to(not everytime, i mean no ones perfect :P) and help with the kids.
I did after 23 years got a good man we did just about everything together lost him in 2014 to death still miss him
I was in a similar situation where the father of my kids worked more than spending time with us, was with his friends and mother mostly, and always thought he just had to provide. We fought a lot about him helping me with the kids. Eventually I moved out. He said he had a wake up call. Now I told him to show me a change in maturity, responsibility, and initiative. We are fixing our relationship while living apart for a year to see if his change is temporary or permanent. So far he’s showing progress. I left for myself because the relationship was toxic, but apparently unintentionally it worked like a scare tactic for him to see reality. I’m not saying to scare him, I’m saying maybe your boyfriend will have a wake up call because he will see all the stuff you did that he took for granted.
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Congrats on finding the strength to know your worth! What a fantastic example you are setting for your children! Never settle for less than what you deserve!
Don’t let your boyfriend keep you from your husband! My sister preached this to me for years! Finally I listened now I am pretty much engaged(waiting for my proper purposal) lol marriage isn’t just a piece of paper. It is what you make it. Doesn’t sound like he’s I treated either way… Go you!!!
Why would you want to marry him. He sounds like a jerk.
I would not want to be a shack job-either marriage or out-
Wtg, girl!! I was married to “him” for 20 yrs before I decided to get my life together, moved about an hour from him, and started a new job, made new friends and got happy. He has never been remarried and lives with our eldest daughter… Pitiful. Haha sucker!
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I seriously could have wrote this!! I’m sorry I know the feeling … and your not dumb for staying while raising a family the time just seems to fly … I went back and forth between well so I really need to be married at this point but yes it hurts my feeling from time to time … so good for you for having the strength and knowing your self worth .
Wow! Great strength, i am in a similar situation. Determining when enough is enough is hard…but enough is coming…can’t say I didn’t warn him.
Why would you invest 12 years with no commitment. You deserve it all. Move on
Good for you. Been there and fighting not to go back. It’s just so sad that men in general all seem to have the same mindset.
Way to gather the strength mama! Clearly not an easy thing to do. Better late than never. Hope you find happiness asap
sounds like he thinks of you more as a mother than a wife !
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have strength, i did the same thing with my bf of 9 years. he sounds just like yours. he provided so he didnt need to do anymore… he told me he would never marry me and i done gave him my 20s and first years of my 30s. ive lived my life dedicated to him and based my life around him… which was totally wrong. i should be living for myself. i shouldnt have waited for him to wake up and be a dad, lover and friend to me when he didnt want to be in the first place. i just kick myself for being so stupid and tied down in a relationship that wasnt even a relationship. itsnot like we made lots of memories during. i made excuse after excuse for him not wanting to be that family or bf. i mean we never even got pictures taken together as a family or went anywhere or have done anything as a family since our son was born in 2016. he would rather work 120 hours a week then come home to a hot cooked meal. i did everything by myself and for myself and the kids when i was with him, so its not really any different that not living with him.
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I dont know you but im so very happy for you ! You go girl !!
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