In my opinion hes a cold hearted selfish son of a bitch
Sorry honey. He doesn’t love you. I doubt he ever did. You can’t make someone love you. You are trying and trying but there is nothing you can do to make him feel for you. Go on and end this marriage and you at least have a chance. Don’t waste too many more years on him.
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Read this back as if it were a friend posting it.
Now would you tell her to put up with it??
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Move on girl you need to be happy you shouldn’t even have to ask these questions the answers or the answers are in the script just move on you will be more happy
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I was in a marriage like this once. I was a doormat. My new man is very loving and once told me that my ex treated me like the family dog that wasn’t good enough to sit on the couch. Thats exactly how I felt, thats what you are to him. When you realize you deserve way more, you will leave. It will change your life profoundly.
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You deserve better… go and find 
love.
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He’s cheating. Trust me. In some form or fashion.
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Fuck that dude!!! Leave and find your true happiness!!!
Throw him for a loop and tell him you want an open marriage… it secures him and you financially as you are now and you get to venture out to see what’s out there for you and you can use it to your advantage, explore your options, spend some you time and pull the plug when ready… just saying he seems content going to work and coming home so he isn’t going anywhere… be as selfish as him and see how he likes it… once your smiling at your phone having fun I bet he look at you real quick…
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He is an insensitive dirt bag! I had one just like him, everyones hero but mine. It is time to take back your power. No one has to beg for love and affection from their freaking mate. He won’t change.
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If he isn’t having sex with you, he is with someone else! They can cheat any time they want! I lived through 10vyears of my ex cheating and had no idea until he cheated with my so called friend! Run!! I am remarried to a wonderful man for 30 years now! Your kids and you deserve better!
Reread your own letter,Life is too short to live like that, you deserve real love,If you are start working start making your own life and live it
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I was in a marriage very similar to this. After 31 years I finally left and have never been happier! Do yourself a favor and end it for the both of you.
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Sounds like it’s time to move on. It won’t be easy but I think you deserve better. Praying for you and the family. Wish you the best.
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You need to find love because that ain’t it.
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You’ve wasted 12 years of your life get out now and start living
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You’ve wasted far to many years on the wrong person. Leave him now and start living your life… He’s obviously living his, if he’s out there texting other women and showing them more attention and love than he is his own wife. I know you have kids but its time to let that man go and find yourself someone who will appreciate and love you the way you deserve to be.
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Go real fast, there’s a better life out there for you
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This isn’t a healthy relationship. It’s completely one sided and I think you already know what you need to do. He’s checked out and you should too. For good. He’s doing the responsible thing for your kids, admirable but is it worth it? What happens when they grow up and that responsibility is over? My advice, get your personal affairs in order, start looking for a place (unless you’ll be asking him to leave) and get in touch with an attorney. It’s time.
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no way would I stay with a man like this…yuk
Have you told him any of this?
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Better to leave now then to live your whole life with a man doesn’t love you. Because that’s exactly what it is, that man does not love you nor does he pretend to. You deserve so much better and I truly hope you get that.
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Not sure if you need someone else to say it but you need to leave and go be happy
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Love yourself enough to walk away.
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He’s not in love with you.
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Love yourself enough to walk away. Dont even work it out. They should of never did what they did to you and should of lost you the day they did it. Not everything is meant to be fixed.
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I don’t know how you stand with God but praying for guidance may be a good place to start
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Leave him he’s not wroth wasting your time on!!
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He sounds like an ass, I would leave.
you deserve someone who loves you.
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Do you love him? You deserve someone who shows you how much they love you.
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I stopped reading half way threw.
Honey…love yourself enough to want more. You deserve it. I know that feeling. That helpless despairing want…lose it and him💕 I swear to you it is so much better. You can do it.
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You can have someone love you more in 2 months than he did in 12 years. Never be afraid to leave and start over. You deserve love. I was with my ex for years. Met my current husband over 5 years ago. The first day we met he came to my house we knew other 4 weeks started dating, and he told me he loved me and 2 weeks later I was pregnant. He married me before our son was born we’ve been together 2016. And he’s the best thing to have ever happened to me. 
Tell how unhappy you are
Tell him that if you leave him, he will need to pay for child care & a maid & a cook. He will pay you alimony. He will have no life, no money. If that doesn’t wake him up. Leave him
You can do better. He’s a jerk.
You deserve more! Love yourself, and leave… There is someone out there that will give you love you need…
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Ask him straight out. ‘Are you in love with me?’ If he doesn’t give you a straight answer, that’s your answer. He sounds like a jerk to me. Why are you even with him? Your marriage sounds dead to me. You deserve better.
Girl, run!! I had an ex just like this, thankfully I didn’t stick around to marry him. Wouldn’t have in a million years anyway but run!! Find someone that cherish’s u. He’s out there.
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He’s cheating. Leave him.
12 years is a long time to waste with someone that doesn’t love you. You need to leave him and find your own happiness, alone. You need to love yourself before you put yourself out there for anyone else. Know your worth and don’t settle for anyone. It doesn’t sound like you have been happy at all the whole relationship. Do what’s best for you and your child.
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I think you already know the answer to your question babe. As hard as it might be to face the reality of it, let it go. He’s not happy and the attention you’re looking for, he’s giving it to other women. Essentially making you unhappy as well. I’m sorry he’s putting you through this. A real man that truly loves wouldn’t nor would you have to question your worth. You deserve better…so go find it!
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I agree leave him and I disagree with him about grieving for your dad because people can grieve for a long time over lossing a loved one. I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my dad when I was 19, after that the only father figures that I had was my grandpa and my uncles. I still grieve over all my loved ones that I have lost. I’ll be 43 on August 12. Praying for you and good luck.
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F- that guy. Throw the whole man away.
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Act like he does then see what he does!!! That will BE UR ANSWER!!!
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Why do you stay? Ask yourself that. If someone makes you feel that way and is CONSTANTLY messaging other females, you’re wasting your life. Leave. Get out. Find someone to love you and wanna be with you. Wanna show you attention. Wanna spend time with you. Girl stop beating a dead horse and leave.
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After absolutely nothing through all those years you are both just doing nothing but wasting each other’s time and your own. Life is precious and nothing’s promised! Move on and call it a day!
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You need to file for divorce 
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He sounds like a covert narcissist.
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Some people are meant to be in our lives for different reasons and periods….some expire 
he’s role in your life sounds like it was to bring 3 joys into your life. Find your happiness mama those little humans would love to see their parents truly happy…together or apart.
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You’ve wasted the past twelve years with him, don’t waste another minute of your life . RUN, don’t walk !
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I wish I could give you a hug mamma I am so sorry 
but you DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER THEN THAT & YOU ARE WORTH MORE THEN THAT ! I know it’s easier said then done but start mentally preparing your self to go you have been together 12 years and that man can’t even make sure your okay but check’s to make sure his female co workers are okay ? I’d be checking him out that mf door 
skirttt . You deserve happiness and my dear that is not it 
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He’s not worth your heartache. Ditch the deadbeat
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Oh nah babygirl. I’m sorry but love yourself enough to walk away. That’s not love at all.
I’m sorry it pained me to read what you have to go through. Enough is enough and you do not deserve that. It seems like you have done what you can to try and make thing’s work and he gives little to no effort at all. But, gives effort elsewhere. Time to pack those bags!
Co-parent. Good luck sweetie…I really hope you get outta there. There’s a man out there that will love you & do all those thing’s for you without you having to try and force it.
You will make it through this. I’m sorry about your Dad 
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I think you know he doesn’t love you, but you can’t face it. Everything you’re saying shows how little he cares for you. Leave now before you waste anymore of your life with someone like him. You’re teaching your children to settle. Do you want them to think they should stay in an unhappy and loveless marriage? I’m sorry to sound harsh, but I think you know he doesn’t. Why would you stay and put yourself through this?
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And tbh you said it your self you don’t feel any love for him you been together 12 years that’s just your comfort it’s what your use to love and now it’s your time to get you back and your happiness because at the end of the day he could careless about yours so dont care about his he will regret what he did to you and by then you will already be free
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No neither of you love each other it’s the comfort zone you are in.get divorced. Be a good mother to your 3 kids that need you.
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I hope you find the courage to finally leave
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Honey u need to dump him. Ain’t and simple. He already cheated on u . He cares more for the women he works with
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Get out now ! You already know what to do so just get out so you can be happy !
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Leave! It’s time for your life to begin!
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Leave and don’t waste anymore time on him.
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It does not sound like he loves you. Move on. I wouldn’t put up with any of this. This is awful.
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I think it is time for him to go.
You deserve better.
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Pregnancy isn’t a reason to marry. You didn’t get to know each other well and when u did you where probably not for each other but you both forced it. Either get out or remain in a loveless marriage. The RED FLAGS were there
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He is a selfish arsehole… if he can be sympathetic to that women at work … then he can be for you… u seem to be a burden to him by the way ur explaining things … kick the hell out and find someone that will love you and take care of u and return the love u give… lifes too short to be with hand pumps like that … go and get happy chick
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No one deserves to feel unwanted and unloved. I think it’s time to leave and find yourself someone who can truly bring you happiness
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That’s not love if he can cheat an message other women
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This isn’t love. I think you know that. Why stay this miserable when you know he won’t change? You deserve someone who showers you in love, who supports you and who makes you feel special. This guy ain’t it. Leave now and find your ever after
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His rooting all his co workers or at least one or two of them. You say you know he isn’t cheating because he only goes to work and comes home yet everyone his texting and the one he got head from are women he works with. Love you’re in denial!
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You find your ball girl and ypu throw him out or leave. Is he an arors of sagatarius. They have similar trates. You worth more. Hes a womanising twat. Kick that c#t to the kurb. Your sad and unhappy. Start living hun xx
Oral sex is cheating to me! What a barsted
Why you with the cheating prick still? He wants to have the stable life at home and still go out and do what he wants sorry but he ain’t gonna change
You already know the answer! Probably been knowing! Love and respect yourself enough to move on! I’m sure he won’t fight you on it! I believe he has made his position painfully clear and NOBODY deserves to live like that!
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You already know the answer he shows more interest in other women. You deserve far better. Sorry your going through this
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I’m not married but going through this as we speak it sucks I told him I’m not happy we are having our first baby together on augs 2nd he had two kids by someone else I have 3 kids by someone else we never kiss hug he hasn’t touched me in a month he only told me 1 time he loved him I no longer want to be with him but he doesn’t get the point I never sleep knowing he is on my bed with me I hate this depression and feeling we don’t even speak
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I hope u are financially Independent.
Leave with your kids. He would rather be texting and consoling other ppl with his precious time nway.
It’s been 12 years. Nothing will change…
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Leave the jerk! What have you been waiting for all these years!!
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Do not waste another minute with this man.Take your paraphanalia with you.Say good bye to your horrible life you wasted in a loveless narriage.
Girl you deserve better.
I feel for you and I wish you all the best.
If there is such a thing as a true companion and a man that will love you then I hope you meet him and be loved.
GOD wants us to be happy.
Leave and find your way to happiness.
All the best
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Do you love him? What do you think about telling him No more “others” and that he hasn’t been there for you (explain to him what you’ve been needing from him)…and that you both should go to a marriage counselor- to see if the marriage can be saved or not…?
Doesn’t seem to be good communication between you two. He has cheated (are you able to forgive him? IF it all stops?)
You do have grounds for divorce…
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How would you know how he treats his ex’s before?
Regardless the fact you search his phone shows there’s no trust, without trust what’s the point in a relationship. But for the way he’s reacted over a family death is vile, I’d of left him for that reason alone, never mind the cheating!
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Move on… I spent 10 years with the same kind of man… What hurt even more is the woman after me he treated liked a queen… And it tore my world apart even more to the point i spent 5 years learning to love me again… Because he spent 10 years making me believe i was worthless… Ugly and useless… Even though i was the only one who ever worked…Then spent 3 years in a couple different relationship thats wasnt much better … But in 2018 when my world came crashing down around me i was causally dating a guy… Ans he turned out to be amazing he stepped up stood by my side while my mama went through cancer treatment… He was my rock even the morning my mama passed… He stepped in ans fathers my son which isn’t his but we do share a little girl… Even though some times it dont seem like it… Its better to step away then be stepped on its hard it took me 4 years to make that step… But now… It feels so good to have a man who loves me for all the right reasons… But he tells me all the time he has such a respect for me because in the years i was single i was paying for my own home which im close to owning… And was totally self sufficient we are amazing when a man isnt dragging us down ans making us feel less then our worth
Even if there is nothing physical going on, the texting is a form of adultery.
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He’s emotionally cheating on you. His time and affection should be with you and not another female. If you don’t leave you will be really lonely plus you are teaching your kids that this is what a marriage should be. Best wishes.
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It’s time to move on you deserve better then that, goodluck KD.
You need to get out! Don’t invest another minute with him! Get out and spend your time trying to find someone who will love you and treat you right! Praying for you 
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Just because he goes to work and comes home doesn’t mean he isn’t physically cheating. People cheat all the time at work. Plus he is definitely having an emotional affair with this woman. I would say that NO he doesn’t love you. Please do not waste anymore of your life on this man. Leave him. Good luck!
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I have a husband that kisses me goodbye every morning before work. If I tell him I’ve had a hard day he always responds with “what can I do to make your evening less stressful when I get home?”, we write hand written notes to each other often and have them all saved in a box. If one of us is upset, we will sit and talk it out no matter how long it takes. I take care of his heart and he takes care of mine. I’m not saying this to brag. I’m just saying it so you’ll know what exists and what you deserve. I was married to a man just like your husband once. He cheated physically before we got married but emotionally all through the marriage. I tried to make it work but I was the only one trying. You’ve sacrificed a decade for a man that doesn’t seem to love you. Please don’t sacrifice the next decade. You deserve to feel loved every single day.
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I think he was trying to step up and do the right thing by marrying you when you got pregnant right away after only having sex one time. I think he’s resentful towards that situation and he only did it because he felt he had to. I’m sure he feels trapped as well. It’s easier for people to cheat, lie etc than it is to go through a messy divorce. - do yourself and those kids a favor and leave. You’ll find someone worthy of your time & love - he clearly isn’t it for you.
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This whole thing made me sad to read. You’re not overthinking it, you’re correct. You’ll never receive the love you deserve in this relationship. It’s a slap in the face that he offers comfort to other women, but refuses to comfort you. My advice would be to leave, but I know that isn’t always easy especially if he is financially supporting you while you take care of your children. My heart breaks for you 
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Sounds like my ex, please leave, when we split I always now wished I would have left the first time I thought about it which was when I got pregnant and he was hooked on pills but I stayed another 4 yrs and get so annoyed with myself for wasting so much time
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Nup kick him to the curb. A parents loss is hard to take the fact that he’s consoling a work friend and not you is utterly horrendous. He has disconnected. Time to walk away you deserve far better
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Start making a plan , how to make some money to put up, sign up for help with housing , childcare .You can do this , people do it everyday. You and your kids deserve better and there’s always help available . Best of luck and lots of love and prayers for you and your babies. Oh and reach out to family and friends
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Oh no 
. We only live once. Why spend it unhappy? You deserve to be in a happy relationship, to know real love. Not this loveless marriage.
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Get out. Please, not only for yourself, but because the “normal” your relationship is portraying to your kids is not ok either. You ALL deserve better.
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Take your power back. Don’t let your decisions rely on HIM. You decide if you are happy, in love, if your needs are being met, and if you are safe emotionally in this relationship. YOU decide if you want to stay or go. Do what’s best for you.
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Work behind the scene, finding a place for you and the kids to live, get you a job. Find a church to attend, so you ll have stability in your life. Your pastor should offer his support and advice. Talk to a lawyer get child support set up with the lawyer in the divorce. Get support from mom, brothers or sisters. Just move in your new apartment, let him come home, find you not there. Let him talk through the lawyer for any advice he needs. Raise your kids, forget about another man, until you get them
Raised. This will reduce
Any further problems down the road. Put your life in your kids and start your new life.
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Why even question this? It’s plain as day stop being in denial and put you first . If you have to tell someone ( your husband)how to treat you that’s too much . He’s a grown man that treat strangers better than he treats you your kids deserves a happy mother and you deserve to be happy. I know it may be hard but later you be be thankful you left.
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My advice start planning a divorce party, you deserve better
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Going to work and coming home doesn’t mean he is not finding time to cheat, if he texting another woman and comforting her then he has probably been intimate with her
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Oh this made me sad to read. If he is texting other women and offering support to them and not to you, that is awful and I feel it is emotionally checking out on the marriage. Not wanting intimacy is another sign he is checked out. That isn’t okay. Maybe go back and read what you wrote and think maybe it’s time to part ways. You deserve better.
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