Your whole situation and reading this just made my heart ache for you, I was in a 7 year relationship when my mom passed away and exactly a year later my dad passed away, and my ex couldn’t understand why I was so depressed and wasn’t myself and it ultimately ended in us splitting up, that being said I’ve been in 4 serious relationships, and if I felt any of them didn’t love me I would have to leave, you deserve to be loved and cherished and get cuddles, and even get the little things from your partner, and from what you wrote doesn’t seem as he does any, so if I were you I’d start planning on your get away and building a foundation for you and your kids, I’m so sorry that you’ve not be given the appreciation or love that a woman/mom needs
It might hurt to hear but to me it seems like he wants you to be the one to leave. I agree completely with a comment above about doing your own thing and preparing to be a single lady. 12 years is a long time, time that you will never get back. Don’t leave it any longer. And that is not to say that your children or your life with him has been a waste. You got your babies so it couldn’t possibly be time wasted. But staying at this point when you’ve asked the question makes it seem like you know your time is up. I would say that you have the conversation with him free of judgement or anger. Ask him if he wants to stay put everything out on the table. Communicate and tell him if he wants a mutual separation that you must have a conversation about how it will all go down. I.e kids, house financials. Have an agreement put in place for everything and try your best to do it smoothly without animosity. Good luck x
1 Like
After reading this my heart went out to you, and I thought why are you wasting your life with this man? I feel that as soon as he gets any attention off another woman he will be gone! You deserve so much better than that and so do your children! Think about your self and your own mental health, coz this guy will definitely push you over the edge! Good luck with your future xx
Honestly? A man who loves you (or anyone who loves you) does not treat you like that. Prepare yourself for life as a single parent. It’s never too late to start over xxx
3 Likes
I would just start living my own life . He sounds aweful and like a narcissist. Make sure your life is stable for whatever comes ahead excluding him. See how that works. Personally he has been very disrespectful to you, loosing your father takes time to heal and im so sorry for your loss. Texting women from work is another no go
It’s one thing to talk to them at work, but leave that at work. Also from expirence just because he goes to work and comes home doesn’t mean anything. He can take a personal day and have a full blown date or whatever during those hours. Expecially easy if it’s a girl from work. I know from expirence. Dont trust him and don’t put much effort into him. He doesn’t deserve it… You can love him from afar. Good luck
1 Like
Definitely not over thinking it. He’s not into you. I’m so sorry. I’ve been there. Trust your gut.
1 Like
Bless you I feel so bad for you, here’s a woman that just wants to know she’s loved and appreciated. You’ve tried everything… Talking to him and doing it his way. Just sounds like your exhausted from it. Maybe take a break? Each relationship is different. Sometimes it can take a break to mend it… He might realise how much you do for him and how much he needs you. I’m sorry for the loss of your dad. It’s been 15 years since I lost mine and I still grieve to this day. Times a healer and you need to take all the time you need. You need to start thinking selfishley for your own mental health.
I hope you stay strong and Do whatever you need to do is right by you x
I learned in my life that there’s always someone for everyone out there, and that person will be willing to go the extra mile for your love. I will suggest to cut your loses and find your true love. I found mines 18 years ago. She’s laying next to me in my bed.
We all need love and should feel love from our partner do yourself a favor find someone that really loves you and will show you daily you deserve so much better.
Take yourself out of the situation. If a friend came to you and said this was her situation, what would you think of it? Sounds like there’s 0 love, right? You’d tell her she deserves better and that a lot of what he is doing is incredibly mentally abusive. You’d even feel bad because you’d see how hurt she is and how much more you want for her. Now put yourself back into the situation. Feel that for yourself!
You are asking for validation! You already know the answers. Leave him . You and your children deserve better. He isn’t going to change.
2 Likes
U show a man one time that you will accept him cheating, he gets comfortable
Sounds like he lost respect for you
U have to love yourself first, u never want to be in a relationship for the kids. It’s clear he’s seeing other women and openly texting with other women, he thinks u ok with it
He wants out
You deserve better . . Life is too short to be so unhappy . You can’t find the right person for you when your with the wrong person . He obviously doesn’t have any respect for your feelings
Leave him. Seriously thats my best advice. This person sounds very toxic.
Go be happy, work on yourself. Do things that help you emotionally. One day you’ll find someone worthy and if not you have your self love.
You already know the answer to these questions and no one is going to make your decision for you. When you realize your worth you will move on but until then you will question everything and be miserable. I hope you realize your worth sooner rather than later, life is too short and you’ve already wasted 10 years don’t waste another 10 trying to get the courage to move on. You deserve better
1 Like
Lots to say but, just because all he does is go to work does not mean he’s not physically cheating! However, is this the life you want for you and your kids?
1 Like
I’m sorry…this is not normal and you need to stop gaslighting yourself. You need to seek counseling or search for a trusted friend to talk to.
I wouldn’t be able to do it for that long. 12 years? Babe…leave. you deserve WAY better. Emotional Neglect is no joke. Emotional cheating on his end is still cheating!
1 Like
Ok emotional abusive and you know very well what love is. You already recognise this is not it… my dear how much more time are you going to waste on someone like this?! Do what is right for your own life, you are walking the path given to you not walking his. Do what you feel is right for you. It is about time!
Your worth so much more than this. If he loved you he would step up and give you the attention he is giving other women. I know it’s hard after being with someone so long and sharing kids, home, and possessions but it is not worth it. You deserve a lot more and if you dont leave soon you will forever regret the what if. You have allready had 12 years of your life not being treated like a wife and mother of his children should be treated and it’s time for you to focus on preparing yourself to leave.
First I want to send you my condolences second you wrote so yourself very valid points and signs he is not interested . It’s time to move on …usually I would say talk it out go to therapy etc…but when you need your partner the most and he is MIA and doesnt consider your mourning and your feelings about how things are going that’s a big fat sign telling you to leave . You deserve happiness everyone does, but by holding on to something that hurts you over and over again is blocking your own blessings . Remember kids need a happy healthy momma and you need happiness also for yourself . Hes gotten away with it for so many years time to out a stop to it and only you can do this. Your happiness and well being cannot ever be left at the hands of another ! Itll hurt but it will hurt more if you hang on to something that is hurting every second . Clearly his priority is elsewhere .
2 Likes
Leave him ! I had one just like him…waisted20yrs of my life… now I am old and sick. Who wants that ? Its better to be alone than with someone like this !
1 Like
All his exes, what a red flag. Dump him, you are alone in this relationship?? You deserve to be loved and respected. Walk away.
2 Likes
You’re not overturning this at all… there is something wrong because you sound so unfulfilled in what you need from a partner. Your husband doesn’t sound like he’s ticking any of the boxes…
Get that divorce then after its finalized sleep with his brother or a good friend. After so can’t be used against you during divorce proceedings. Petty af, obviously that’s the point, but the clap back at his feelings and how he treated you, priceless.
He has checked out. You cant spend the rest of your life hurting because he is giving others what he should be giving to you.
My advice is leave him. Walk away and work out how to make a good life for you and your children.
He doesn’t deserve your time or tears. Xx
First off, I’m really sorry for your loss. Stay strong and do the best you can, because some days i know it can be aloy harder than others.
And second, as for your husband, i think it may be time to let go. From the way it sounds, he really doesn’t seem to want to be with you, as i don’t know him, i can’t be sure what exactly he feels, but from what you describe it honestly doesn’t sound like he does. It’s not good to be in a one sided relationship, not good for you or your kids. They see that, and will grow up thinking it’s okay to ne treated like that or to treat others like that. It’s time to move on, and one day when your heart heals, you’ll find someone, someone who deserves you and will treat you right, will only ever want to be with you and show you how much they love and care for you. You got this girl! Just gotta stay strong through it all and call it quits, and don’t let him talk you out of it if that is what you chose to do, because i can assure you, he won’t change, and will continue to do the same things once he thinks that the storm is over and can get away with it again.
Girl… First off I’ve been in your shoes he did love me we got engaged got pregnant he already had a 6 year old daughter had my family worked my ass off for our family but I also never felt loved. I got plenty of gifts etc . And there were times in our 12 years that I was loved … but. He cheated and now we are not together and that shook me… it was awful I loved that man with every ounce of my being . I tried my best to save it especially for our son … I’m sure he regrets it now and we get along fine but it shattered me as a person it took me a long time to get thru the damage he left behind … He kept telling me he was gonna end it and he only wanted to be with me for months I dealt with this … find you … Work on you build that confidence start walking or working out focus on your own future and your kids of course and build it… Save up and be done . Good thing with you being married hopefully you can keep your home. You deserve love 
and someone who does love you but most importantly your self love … you got this it might seem scary right now and I’m sure your mind is a mess mine was but you got this … Good luck
1 Like
Wow I’m so sorry! I would leave him. You are not happy and he apparently isn’t either!
Wow. He sounds like a jerk honestly. If he is consoling other women when they lose their parent and not you when you lost yours that’s ultimate disrespect. When my Dad passed my boyfriend hand wrote me a letter that I still have to this day and it means more to me than he will ever know. I am so sorry you are in that situation 
No cause he had cheated on his own wife multiple times. If he isn’t caring for you but he’s caring for others, that has to count as cheating. I would put my husband (if I had one) first before anyone else if I have to. It’s sad this woman is just wanting to make sure it’s a lie of what she’s saying. I’d leave him 100%
You unfortunately both ‘Settled’ with each other and there was never going to be anything more. It’s just a shame so much time was wasted half (if that) loved. Move on and find that love.
1 Like
You need to get a divorce ASAP. This isn’t someone who even remotely loves or even sees you as another human at this point. The fact you’ve stayed with him for this long astonishes me, but I also wonder if you love him. You never mentioned that you love him, or that you want those things or miss out on them. Not all relationships are super lovey dovey and that’s fine but it seems like you don’t really love him either, like it’s a platonic relationship almost
Vikki when there is no romance, no kind of affection, no communication, no kind of anything…it’s time to cut your loses and part your ways. Otherwise you are just going to continue with disappointment, heartache and unhappiness. No matter what any woman deserves to be showed affection and love. I will pray for you and your family. But please don’t let yourself continue with nothing. Take care Vikki
I’ve been in exactly the same boat as you. Trust your instincts, you know in your heart what’s going on. Surround yourself with good people who value you and your self esteem will rise up to the sky. Emotional abuse IS abuse. I hope you do what’s best for you and your babies. Take care 
I’m sorry but its seriously time to move on . Why waste your life in a loveless marriage? I went through exactly the same thing and I regret waiting so long to leave . Life is too short .
Sounds like to me he didn’t want to be in this relationship,or you are fooling yourself and he is cheating.He uses you,and controlling you.And it looks like talking will not help your situation, because he doesn’t want to talk about it with you.Hes not being the husband he should be,and you deserve better than him.I hope this works out for you,and maybe therapy might help both of you,if he agrees to it.Dont let yourself be miserable to someone that doesn’t want to change.Look for the red flag on his actions,and the way he treats you.Good luck,I wish you the best.
This post made me feel really sad for you. He treats other women the way you wish he treated you, and that’s not right. You need to sit down to discuss if the marriage is over I think.
1 Like
Please make sure you have all your ducks in a row. Financial, materialic things that will not upset your children’s lifestyle too much. Emotional support system. Then get out. Its time for you and your children. Don’t let him interrogate you and break you down , don’t give in ,stand firm for what you want. He’s had it his way for far too long. Now its your turn. Hugs hope your future will become brighter and better
you should have taken that as a hint the first time out…you need the advice of a solicitor…and now…learn your rights…especially since you have three children with this man…The possibility that he will move on is there…and you need to be able to get your ducks in a row…so you can have child support…Too many women let the guy get away with it…and then he moves on to wife two or three…or has several children elsewhere…and you are working two jobs trying to put mac and cheese on the table for your children…Does not sound like this guy is either working with a sound deck himself…or thinks that it is okay for him to do such things…but if you were doing that…a sin…So…please get some legal advice now…you are going to need it…
2 Likes
You have put up with this for quite sometime. He knows you are not saying or doing anything about it. So as long as you continue allowing it he will continue doing it. He is having his cake and eating it too. Have you recommended counseling ?
You already know what to do. If he makes you feel unwanted, leave if you can. He might change for a bit, just to keep you there but that will most likely not last. Do something for yourself to make you feel better about you, and go. Let him have his fun. It won’t last, and then he will regret everything he’s done to you. Regret and guilt are terrible on the mind.
He’s not sharing his life with you so stop sharing your life with him. Quit being his maid and housekeeper. Start living your own life. Join new groups, at church, recreation centers, the gym, etc, make new friends, meet other mothers in your neighborhood and in your kids school. Get a job, even part time, to get you out of the house. Start planning to be a single mother. This all happened to me and at first it’s hard but after a while it gets easier. Make your kids your priority. Your kids need you and your husband doesn’t. Good luck💕
2 Likes
You deserve better – and no your not asking much for a small note that shows care
Sad that he’s not supporting u
Id send u flowers to say your a good person if i knew u
Be kind to yourself
Cheating is also cheating someone out of their time. Im so sorry this is happening to you. Your children are observing it as well. The love we have for ourselves is just as great as any love for another. Much hope for love headed your way.
I am so sorry you are going through this. Life is too short to be miserable. Start putting yourself and your children first. You deserve so much better.
I feel that you deserve better I divorced my husband and I never looked back I found a focus and I am almost finished a Masters Degree I had one child you have three sometimes a woman in your position needs to ensure financial security before you can leave make sure that he pays for those kids. I found that a new purpose isn’t for me a relationship instead a focus on the contributions that I make to the world and humanity. If you aren’t happy find your purpose your story touches my heart and wish you the best
Time to cut ties.or get a marriage counselor but it doesn’t sound like hes interested in you
Theres romantic love, fantasy love, companionate love, coparenting love and several more kinds of love and marriage. You have different goals for your marriage. He may be perfectly happy with you as a wife as he perceives a wife. Not much to do about that. Try expanding your interests so you yearn less for his attention. Maybe theres a guy out there that will better fill your needs for a while, but is it worth it?
Honey, you have already experienced “as good as it gets” with him. It won’t change unless you change. You can except how it is or decide you want romance and true intimacy with a husband and divorce him.
And if you think he draws the line at oral and kissing you are delusional!! I promise there has been lots of sex behind your back. There’s a reason he’s so sweet and caring to his coworkers. Fact!!!
Get away from him asap he is killing your self confidence and self worth. I’ve been in this same situation. I’m sure he loves you but he won’t show it until he is losing you . He sounds like the kind of man that only cares about himself…a narcissist, your Needs don’t matter
I think u hv been there fr him always and that is the problem. If u want to stick around then u might need to make sure u dont become a doormat. Men like chase I read smwer !
Did you really need to take this to Facebook???
He obviously is not in love with you I don’t know why you would have to ask somebody else about this You can’t be that stupid. Sounds like he’s stuck around only because he got you pregnant and it’s more of like a roommate situation and that’s all it will ever be.
1 Like
You are miserable because he is making you miserable. The guy sounds terrible tbh. Plan a way out and take advantage of the financial support he is giving you right now. Find a way to improve yourself to be able to become financially independent and leave him.
1 Like
If you don’t work get a job give yourself a time frame to get it together then leave save all evidence divorce will offer good 50/50 at least with how he is and you’ll get child support!
Get out right now. That is not love, that is him emotionally abusing you. You deserve someone who will love you and be there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen to you. People like him don’t change. So ask yourself- can you endure another 12 years of being with him?
3 Likes
Show himthe door make sure he doesnt have a key to come back I have been 54 years with my husband and he wouldnt do any of what you have said has happened to you if you want to be happy pretty yourself up get a sitter and start going out and if you meet someone just dont tell your husband take your children and move away if you can afford it good luck in the future.
Blah blah blah…give ur head a shake…u think cuz he changed his #, his attitude will change? Nope. He sounds like a weasel from the beginning open ur eyes.
1 Like
If your not happy then kids are not happy I know it’s hard to live out with kids but you need a better life fir you and them
Ouch. Based on what you’ve said, he’s a man who has a code that wouldn’t let him walk away from his kid so he put a ring on it and is going to stick by his decision because his personal identity requires it. Your story suggests his heart isn’t in it. He knows it’s not your fault and resents the choice sometimes so you pay the price by his coldness. He makes little excuses to justify his indifferent, disloyal behavior because he fancies himself a good guy and a martyr to you and your kids.
The question is are you willing to continue to play the role he has cast you in and allow him the illusion of the one he has assumed? He won’t end it while your kids are young. He’s trying to make you do it because he needs to keep believing hes a “nice guy” so your failed relationship wont be his fault.
Or not. What do I know…
Stop and I repeat STOP allowing him to continue this emotional, and mental abuse. If he refuses counseling, get it for yourself and leave this toxic relationship as soon as you can.in 12 years he hasn’t changed and it’s HIGHLY unlikely he ever will. Staying also has your children thinking this is how men treat their wives…woukd you want your daughter with a man like your husband? Let her know this is NOT the way you alliw a man to abuse / mistreat you because darling …you are in an abusive relationship , admit it… And shake the dust from your feet as you start stepping … Get out…NOW
Get your own job, get out the house to work , build yourself more value! He will get back to you! But I don’t know that time you will need him! Cheer up!
Please don’t waste anymore time being unhappy. He is not worthy of you and you deserve to be happy. It is horrible that he is texting other women, especially since you have told him that it bothers you. When someone is so defensive usually means they are guilty. Sex can happen in the bathroom, office, car etc. If he is not willing to stop the texting other women and especially when he tells you that you have one day to get over your father’s death, but continues to text and show empathy for another woman is despicable. Be happy.
Big hugs. Condolences for your loss. Yer think you deserve better. Sad to say think he needs to move out to assess how he feels. Don’t give him a choice
1 Like
Break up. Think about the example you’re setting for your children by staying in this loveless marriage. Should they expect that this treatment is okay from their future partners?
1 Like
I think I would pray about it first like the lady said in the comments but if you are not into praying I would really have a heart to heart talk with yourself since your husband can’t seem to be level headed. If he shows affection etc to others and not you maybe it’s time to ask yourself do I really actually love this man, do I want to continue down this path? I don’t think your overreacting at all, I think your just fed up with it.
This is living in the same house; not a marriage. Get three to a reliable therapist (some accept sliding pay scales such as Lutheran Counseling Services) to help find the self you lost when you maried this man.
Well I’m engaged and have been with my fiancé for only about 3 years. But even tho I am not yet married and haven’t been with my fiancé that long, it’s pretty clear to me the way you describe the situation that your husband doesn’t love you anymore.
And yeah I understand that after some years you are no longer in the honeymoon phase, but that doesn’t mean that all the warm feelings disappear, it just evolves. My parents have been married for nearly 25 years and it’s still very obvious that they love each other.
I wonder if your husband ever loved you, the way you describe the whole thing.
I’m surprised you haven’t left . He married you out of responsibility. And then it got comfortable. And now its convenient… its up to you to decide if this is the life you want. And think whats best for the kids. Good luck. Its hard to be alone in a relationship
1 Like
I had to leave my man . Father of our kids it was hard bút I did it. It’s her choice . Probably ever find out
You say you dont love him. Well there you go. Don’t be the one waiting for him to decide to leave. Start planning your future with out him. Be ready for when you make the move to end it. Life really is too short to just be going through the motions.
Did not read the full context, the “you had one day to grieve, get back to it” stopped me in my tracks. The answer you want is in your question, you already know. It’s time to get yourself in order, forget what he does or says, and prepare to leave. You deserve to be happy with or without someone. Take your babies and start over, it’s hard (I definitely know) but it’s not impossible.
First, so sorry about your Dad. He’s a girl’s first love. Second, not the best time (when really is?) but you need to move on. If you don’t feel loved or supported, it’s time to find someone who does give you what you need. Or, hell, just make yourself feel loved. You deserve so much better than he can give you. 
Leeaavvveee that man. I know that’s way easier said then done with kids involved and everything else but he’s gaslighting the hell outta you, making you feel crazy and second guess yourself and your instincts. Women KNOW when something isn’t right, and he’s being painfully obvious about it tbh it’s easy to see from the outside looking in, so I’m telling you to trust those instincts, listen to those feelings, pay attention to the doubts. Leave. You deserve better. Every woman deserves a partner that will listen to them and treat them right, make them feel loved and special and give 100% to the relationship.
Stop relying on someone else for your own happiness. Get your cuddles, from your kids, pets and friendly people. Volunteers at Kids places, get a job and get yourself some exercises to get yourself fit and sexy. Stop blaming others for how you think and feel. And stop blaming them for not responding as to how you want them to. It’s never going to end. You will forever has the glass is half filled kinda attitude.
2 Likes
Take care of yourself and your kids. Join a gym or do something fun as a hobby like salsa dancing 
in time you will have the courage to love yourself more and your kids will see you found happiness in yourself.
Divorce him its not worth the it .put your self first now .there is someone out there that will appreciate you x
1 Like
This is sad on the front he sounds like he doesn’t love you, maybe you should stop trying to force what isn’t there and start loving yourself and maybe he might come round
You basically answered your question with this explanation. No, he doesn’t love you. And how you’ve allowed him to treat you in the 12 years you’ve been together is ridiculous. Stop wasting each other’s time. Unless you want to continue your marriage of convenience, you should separate & end the marriage. It’ll honestly be better for the both of you. Actually, better for the whole family. Do you think your kids don’t see & feel how miserable their parents are together? Staying because of children is bad advice & a complete misconception as to how a family should be. Move on. You both deserve to be with people you actually love. Life is too short for this nonsense.
When someone shows you who they are believe them
1 Like
He texts all the women at work? And none of them seem to chit chat this to each other? Sounds like he’s trying to bait the hook to see who will take it. Completely insensitive to be there for someone else who lost a parent but not you, leave his ass, get child support and find you a hot guy and just live.
1 Like
My heart goes out to you. It seems like you’re really unhappy and it’s a shame that when you try to express your feelings to him he gets defensive and mad. I would move on from him, you deserve to be loved and wanted and it doesn’t sound like you get either from him. It takes a lot of courage to share your thoughts and feelings and now you need to take that courage and get yourself out of this marriage. But ultimately it is your decision and if you truly love him and want to live this way that is your choice. I think you should leave him and find someone who truly loves you and someone you don’t have to doubt about loving you. You only get one life, live it with happiness not with self doubt and the coldness your husband seems to gives you. You deserve more. I hope you find happiness in life and wish you all the best.
You need to live for YOU! LEAVE HIM!!! Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with him absolutely miserable? You said it yourself you feel no love for him. It’s timr to enjoy your life now, finish with him, it will be a weight lifted off your shoulders xx
I was married 12 years to someone like that. I finally decided to live for myself and we are now divorced.
Plan you get-away. You do not ahve to live like that-I would not and did not ,left my husband with 3 kids also- it was not easy but we made it- so can you!
Sad to hear about your relationship with your husband. There’s different kinds of infidelities and you need to stop his before he goes further. Confront him about it and seek marriage counseling with or without him. I hate to hear that you are in a loveless marriage but maybe you both have a lot of issues to work out. For the sake of the kids and you, both deserve happiness and kindness in your life.
This is so sad 
He is really self centered and it sounds awful is he good with the kids at all?? I think I would start getting a plan together to be on your own is your Mom still around a Sister maybe ?? Start a plan to leave do you have a career or something you would like ?? Is there someone to help with the kids when you work ?? I’m praying all will work for you and your family . I would maybe get advice from a lawyer if you own your home and see were and how that will go . You don’t have to rush just start preparing. I think it will help to empower you and then see how you feel God Bless <3 Sending Big Hugs !! You got this one step at a time. Then decide how you feel and what you want !! No Rushing
Long story of advice shortened… Kick that bag of garbage to the curb. He has no respect for you, he shows you no affection, he sounds like he’s constantly on the prowl for a side piece. WAKE UP, HE’S NOT ON YOUR SIDE. You’re being abused! You need to get out of that toxic situation
I began reading and immediately felt like he was not giving you what you need. He sounds emotionally immature. Some women are fine with not having gifts or intemacy. I personally am not an affectionate person, but I make an effort for my husband and children. Because when you actually love someone you make them feel loved and appreciated. Your husband isn’t acting like he loves you and isnt willing to sacrifice his comfort for your wellbeing. He may talk to other women because he feels safe. He doesn’t have to do the hard stuff with them like maintain a household and raise the kids like he does with you. It’s fantasy and it’s not fair to YOU He should be talking to YOU working on the marriage, house, kids together with YOU. If your heart tells you it’s worth trying counseling or a separation than do it. If it’s telling you no. Then get your finances straight( even temp help from friends/family) make a plan to leave or send him packing, then actually do it. Don’t listen to apologies and promises unless you REALLY believe they’re sincere. Most people are only sorry once their spouse has a choice. Find your happiness. It’s not with him.
I feel bad for you I would just work on yourself ignore him look good for yourself And remember there are other fish in the sea and once he notices other men are noticing how wonderful you look then he’ll start noticing you and noticing what a wonderful person you are
Ha, my husband was having sex in closets and storage areas at work.
When he was yelling at me one time because he didn’t like what I had done at a teachers conference about our daughter, the teachers conference he refused to go to, I decided I deserve someone who would smile at me.
So finally I insisted on a divorce, didn’t bring men home while I was single Until my daughter was in college, then I got married to someone who isn’t perfect, but I know they like me, smiles at me, helps me out, It is a loyal husband
Life is too short. Kids will adjust and be better off having happy parents
Get counseling. Give him a copy of what you wrote. Give yourself at least a 5 month timeline to tell him how you feel. Talk with him, not to him. Then if he does not make an effort to improve the relationship, ask yourself: Are you better off with him, or without him. Exact same scenario with me (but not pregnant), but it started 10 years into the marriage & only got lonelier. While we were separated my ex said “why didn’t you kick my ass?” to get him to realize how bad it was. Said he didn’t know I had been crying myself to sleep for 10 years. He told me “just fix it”. It’s the worst pain I’ve been thru. But I am happier.
I don’t think you need to hear it from anyone else. You have your answer already. I don’t even know you, but I know you’re worth more than that. It certainly just sounds like he’s “going through the motions”.
1 Like
He’s cheated on you, has time to text other women and make sure they’re okay but can’t be there for you when you’re mourning the loss of your father. Sweetheart don’t just walk, RUN away and don’t look back. If a man loves you his actions will show it and his clearly don’t at all. You deserve so much better and you will find it. Will it be easy, of course not but nothing that’s worth it is.
What the hell are you still doing with him?? Life is too short to be unloved… Find someone who will love you… For you…
I am sorry you are going through this and sorry for the loss of your father. Like others have said you know what’s up. I think you just want to hear it from others to solidify it. Maybe your family or someone is telling you to stay. If your not ending it with him because of financial reasons or are afraid. Make a plan save money talk to family or friends you can trust. Talk to an attorney and see what they advise on leaving the home. Maybe he should leave. Check on your states laws about divorce. If you leave he may end up keeping the house. You do need a home for your family. I say don’t worry about finding a replacement for him until you learn to love yourself. You have children to love right now. If you end up breaking up it’s going to hurt really bad, but you will be happy one day. I have been divorced for 6 years and I am good now I don’t think I will ever get involved again, but who knows.
God Bless and be with.
2 Likes
You should of gotten the hint when he mentioned all his other exs.Leavve him girl right now and don’t look back
I have been married 15 years and last 6 have been no sex. Lucky to get a cuddle and a kiss. Treats me like crap. I make the money he spends it.
I hate my life! Yes the sexless marriage is due to health reasons on his part. But I have needs. So I am bad, I text other men for attention. Throw digs at me. I have needs.
He loves himself more than he will ever love you. But don’t be discouraged God loves you. Pray and tell it all to God. If there is anything you have to do God will answer you. When God answers you then you will feel a heavy weight lifted from you and you will know what to do.
If you have to ask someone that’s supposed to love you if they do, then they don’t! And you already know it! On several occasions growing up and as an adult I used to ask a parent why they never loved me and they even told me when I was in college that my dad asked them the same question about himself! She told me she actually thought during that discussion that he was so upset that he was going to die of a heart attack! He may have because when he did die in his 50’s he had needed a heart transplant , but since my parents were divorced at that time and my grandfather was his legal next of kin and had refused to let him go through that surgery after just having open heart, he told the doc “no”! You know the answer and nothing could feel more horrible, trust me and the best thing you could do is get your kids and yourself out of that environment because it’s so toxic and poisons your whole life